• May 27, 2012

Liveblogging Mitt ‘Mittens’ Romney’s 2012 Campaign Launch

by Jim Newell  9:05 pm September 3, 2008

Our best friend Mittens Romney must be so relieved that the old coot called him with a “no” for veep this year. Who’d want to be on the losingest loser ticket ever, in 2008? Sarah Palin would, sooo… yeah. Anyway, let’s see what Mitt Romney has to say and his Kumming & Going in his famously magical underpants, in Minnesota. We bet that he’ll LIE a few times, hmm?

8:06 CT — There he is… the silver sideburns… the shiny italian wool suit… want to dooooo him!
8:07 — Ha ha, he’s being hypocritical again: “Washington is looking to the eastern elites.” You mean like YOU, surlypants?
8:08 — Ooh, a faggy little call-and-response game! He’ll mention some things that Washington has done, and if they’re not “full retard,” then you shout, “IT’S LIBERAL.”
8:10 — Here’s a fun game we just invented: call your friends on the telephone after every Romney applause line and ask, “better than Reagan?”
8:11 — The liberals want to keep pornography in schools. Is that a problem these days, with the children? All we know about schools is that Republican VP daughters tend to get pregnant in them. Pornography in schools sounds like a safe, masturbatory alternative.
8:12 — He says the economy looks like “Adam Smith on steroids.” Isn’t that EXACTLY what Republicans want? An Invisible Hand covered in testosterone cream? NO, says the founder of Bain Capital.
8:13 — We should conserve energy by grounding Al Gore’s private plane. But what about the private plane or the twenty private planes belonging to our fair Mittens the Romney?
8:15 — Mitt wants Straight Talk instead of Political Correctness, which is why no one in the Republican establishment is playing the sexism card every three seconds re: the VP candidate who has literally never said a word about globalization or foreign policy.
8:17 — That speech was short, just like Mitty’s cock-a. WE MISS YOU BABY. CALL SOME TIME. NEED ALIMONY.

{ 195 comments }

AngryBlakGuy September 3, 2008 at 9:07 pm

…the return of Mittens the destroyer!

jasonelias September 3, 2008 at 9:07 pm

Poor ol’ Moot…

dontmeanship September 3, 2008 at 9:08 pm

He has trouble with geography. Sun rising in the west?

SayItWithWookies September 3, 2008 at 9:09 pm

God damn Bush and those liberals.

Johnny Zhivago September 3, 2008 at 9:09 pm

Holy shit, I left my dog strapped to the roof of my car in the parking lot.

dontmeanship September 3, 2008 at 9:09 pm

the last guy said only one label counts, now mittens is putting everything in nice neat boxes so the repubs can understand it.

<=proud to be a “liberal”

ms_mcgee September 3, 2008 at 9:10 pm

We need to get rid of liberal Washington? He must be talking about Washington state.

AngryBlakGuy September 3, 2008 at 9:11 pm

…hehehehe, he just mentioned children promiscuity!

Darehead September 3, 2008 at 9:11 pm

“constitutional rights for terrorists at Guantanamo” = “LIBERAL”…….? How about “human”?

SayItWithWookies September 3, 2008 at 9:11 pm

He wants homes to be free of pornography and drugs? No wonder he lost.

dontmeanship September 3, 2008 at 9:11 pm

“schools that are free from pornography” ??? what the hell is he talking about.

Twinkletoes September 3, 2008 at 9:12 pm

Mitt’s family looks so bored.

magic titty September 3, 2008 at 9:12 pm

he just called out porn and drugs. he lost a LOT of votes, my friends.

dontmeanship September 3, 2008 at 9:12 pm

Now I’m going to throw up.

jagorev September 3, 2008 at 9:12 pm

Did Romney, in just the first two minutes, declare war on a geographic direction, and identify human rights for detainees as an explicitly ‘liberal’ cause? This is beyond awesome.

Valerie September 3, 2008 at 9:13 pm

did he just say WEEDWHACKER??

sylamore September 3, 2008 at 9:13 pm

No unions, bitches!

Johnny Zhivago September 3, 2008 at 9:13 pm

Thought bubble {She sold the Alaska plane on Ebay??? Why didn’t my lazy ass sons do that with the Mittmobile?????}

magic titty September 3, 2008 at 9:13 pm

this is a HORRID speech. i knew he was a world class idiot, but he’s easily top ten.

TheSYNDICATE September 3, 2008 at 9:13 pm

He complains about Eastern Elites and then said “largesse.”

Mista Eko September 3, 2008 at 9:13 pm

Promiscuity in our schools! Mittens you brilliant bastard!

AngryBlakGuy September 3, 2008 at 9:13 pm

…it sounds like he is reading the mission statement of a investment banking group!

dontmeanship September 3, 2008 at 9:13 pm

I love those signs that say “Drill now” because of course they are talking about sex, right?

SayItWithWookies September 3, 2008 at 9:13 pm

Wait — is Romney going to say that the answer to the subprime mortgage debacle is less regulation? Yes, he fuckin’ is. I nominate Mittens for president of Wonderland.

Valerie September 3, 2008 at 9:13 pm

Al Gore’s private jet?? What about air-Mittens?

Tito Puente September 3, 2008 at 9:13 pm

Holy Shit, did you see that guy on MSNBC go “wooooo”?
What a… holy… god, what a… fuck…

d4g33z September 3, 2008 at 9:14 pm

Let’s free the internet of all pornography!

Whitey Did Katrina September 3, 2008 at 9:14 pm

I just turned on the teevee. Apparently Mitt Romney is speaking at a school board meeting or something? Anyway, those fifty people seem pretty psyched to see him.

LuxMentis September 3, 2008 at 9:15 pm

My, but I loath him….and it is just me, or are the GOP mouthpieces all functioning under a reality distortion field…I used to be a lawyer and I could not say some of this crap without giggling.

“the right course is to reign in gov. spending”…this after 8 years of unchecked spending and the largest growth in government (both in power and in actual size)….lying bastards

AngryBlakGuy September 3, 2008 at 9:15 pm

…USA USA USA USA USA USA!!!

Mista Eko September 3, 2008 at 9:15 pm

[re=81775]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: nuts, beaten to it

notapipe September 3, 2008 at 9:15 pm

I thought they talked about global terrorism, you know, a bit, at the DNC. I thought Radical Violent Islamic Jihad was the same thing, only more asshole-y.

Monsieur Grumpe September 3, 2008 at 9:15 pm

Cuntry Fist.

Twinkletoes September 3, 2008 at 9:15 pm

Keep Al Gore’s private jet on the ground? Ok, if we can keep McCain in just a half dozen houses.

jagorev September 3, 2008 at 9:15 pm

I am literally crying now, because I may never get to see this grinning idiot be chewed up and spat out in a debate with Biden.

Anonymous Office Zombie September 3, 2008 at 9:15 pm

Regan, radical-violent Islam, jihad, Regan, good and evil, St. Regan protect us, blah, blah, blah…

Whitey Did Katrina September 3, 2008 at 9:15 pm

USA CHANT! USA CHANT! USA CHANT! USA CHANT! USA CHANT! USA CHANT! USA CHANT!

Johnny Zhivago September 3, 2008 at 9:15 pm

Palin doesn’t need a state airplane, she’s got her own personal broom.

sylamore September 3, 2008 at 9:15 pm

Heh, he said Putin.

nyhfrog September 3, 2008 at 9:15 pm

playing on the fear riff now.

columnv September 3, 2008 at 9:16 pm

I’m for anal in schools

Darehead September 3, 2008 at 9:16 pm

Whoa……..deja voodoo, the” axis of Evil”!
AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! whither kinder gentler America!

AngryBlakGuy September 3, 2008 at 9:16 pm

…classy Mittens! Go after Michele Obama!

TheSYNDICATE September 3, 2008 at 9:16 pm

Mittens questioning Todd Palin’s patriotism? Not sure…

Valerie September 3, 2008 at 9:16 pm

Ye Olde Retardican CRAP
The terrorists!! Holy Jeebus the terrorists!!
When is he going to say Obama will abolish social security?

notapipe September 3, 2008 at 9:17 pm

Man, I thought Joe Leiberman was a douche.

SayItWithWookies September 3, 2008 at 9:17 pm

“There was never a day when I was not proud to be an American.”
As a rich, doltish white guy, that’s quite a daring statement, Mitt.

Texas2Step September 3, 2008 at 9:17 pm

Aquaninajad? Did I hear right? Who the hell is that? Aquaman’s radical Islamic cousin?

tutone September 3, 2008 at 9:17 pm

The hope of the earth.

sylamore September 3, 2008 at 9:17 pm

Wooo. Librul-hatin’ white wimmens in cowboy hats! Hawt!

Johnny Zhivago September 3, 2008 at 9:17 pm

[re=81810]LuxMentis[/re]: So many to loathe… and so little time…

SayItWithWookies September 3, 2008 at 9:18 pm

“Thank you and Kolob bless America!”

Mista Eko September 3, 2008 at 9:18 pm

That’s it?????

Darehead September 3, 2008 at 9:18 pm

Providence of the Almighty! Hope of the Earth! OMFG!
AAAhhh, it’s the fascism, stoopid!

I Am Not Your Gary Busey September 3, 2008 at 9:18 pm

So, are they just randomly picking 5 speeches from 1988 and putting them in the blender? It’s like they still think they’re running against a Mondale or something, rather than running for their lives.

notapipe September 3, 2008 at 9:18 pm

This is appropriate music. “Things so bad. You think they can’t go from bad to worse, and then they do.” Hi Rudy!

Whitey Did Katrina September 3, 2008 at 9:19 pm

Mitt rips on PC speech, yet when I tell him what I think about him without sugarcoating he cries so hard he gets a big snot-string trailing from his nose to his mouth to his sleeve.

KittyKatMan September 3, 2008 at 9:19 pm

Morony all mighty, wrap it up Mitt Reagan.

columnv September 3, 2008 at 9:19 pm

[re=81836]notapipe[/re]: It’s really hard to watch. I’m on like my 5th drink and am just warming up.

kfcbeveragelover September 3, 2008 at 9:19 pm

Mitten/Zombie Reagan ’12, you heard it here first!

dontmeanship September 3, 2008 at 9:20 pm

So many empty seats. Maybe there is hope.

sylamore September 3, 2008 at 9:20 pm

I guess he played to the “base.” Damn, that’s one stupid base.

angryhippopotamus September 3, 2008 at 9:21 pm

John McCain knows all about T-Rex appetites after all he spend most of his youth avoiding them

suths September 3, 2008 at 9:21 pm

what the fuck is this country song that is playing “before the devil even knows you’re there….”
his speech signifies what is wrong with douche bag republicans.

Atoz September 3, 2008 at 9:21 pm

we will fight evil religious extremism! Oh, wait…

graceless September 3, 2008 at 9:21 pm

[re=81855]kfcbeveragelover[/re]: No nancy reagan?

Atoz September 3, 2008 at 9:22 pm

“..we inherited the greatest nation on Earth…” — yeah, the Native Americans willed it to him and his family.

Whitey Did Katrina September 3, 2008 at 9:22 pm

Brokaw is stealing your points, Newell!!!! RE: MITT=EAST COAST ELITIST ARUGULA TOSSER!

Mista Eko September 3, 2008 at 9:23 pm

For the love of Moroni MSNBC take the camera off the manjaw with the orange maracas

FunkyPalmettoBug September 3, 2008 at 9:23 pm

Man, Mitt must have gotten his ass kicked in school.

sjano12 September 3, 2008 at 9:23 pm

I wish he would have mentioned how many workers he has downsized this year so far.

SayItWithWookies September 3, 2008 at 9:23 pm

Ha — the CNN.com guy is saying the handmade signs the audience is holding up were made by the RNC and passed out before the speeches began.

Texas2Step September 3, 2008 at 9:24 pm

Nothing sadder than a whole stadium doing the “white man’s overbite” to EW&F. None of the people can dance…

Slummervillain September 3, 2008 at 9:24 pm

so wait, LIBERAL washington that put two new justices on the supreme court, has the executive branch, and controlled congress until just 2 years ago did all this! you should shoot yourselves!

Valerie September 3, 2008 at 9:24 pm

Damn. They are truly PATHETIC dancers, those reds

sjano12 September 3, 2008 at 9:24 pm

I wish he would have mentioned how many workers he has downsized this year.

Tito Puente September 3, 2008 at 9:25 pm

Tweety: Mittens will be teh prez.

Atoz September 3, 2008 at 9:25 pm

Boy, this convention is a true cross section of America! So far I saw two black people in the audience and one Asian guy.

DeezNuts September 3, 2008 at 9:25 pm

Nice try with the Earth Wind and Fire! Well, it is September i guess…

bitchincamaro September 3, 2008 at 9:25 pm

D Gregory needs red meat. Here you go, monkeymouth.

notapipe September 3, 2008 at 9:25 pm

MSNBC just showed someone with a shirt that read “MORE COWBELL less obama”

It’s good to know that, as much as the DNC delegates tried, the Republicans can still outdork them.

CthuNHu September 3, 2008 at 9:26 pm

“Constitutional protections for terrorists? LIBERAL!”

“Did you hear the Democrats last week talk about radical Islamic jihad?”

I’ve never liked or respected Willard Mitt Romney, and I’ve had plenty of good times mocking him. But I’ve never actively hated and despised the fucker until now. Especially since he KNOWS all the viciously divisive things he’s saying are pure bullshit rhetorically engineered solely to enrage a portion of America at the illusory vileness of another portion of America.

Mitt Romney is Goebbels without the clubfoot. If he thought it’d work to his political advantage, he’d lead a lynch mob against a convent and make sure the camera got him at the best angle as he hauled on the rope.

El Bombastico September 3, 2008 at 9:26 pm

I get a little teary-eyed thinking about what could have been with Mitt on the ticket. THERE’S STILL TIME, JOHN MCCAIN — DO IT FOR US!

Tito Puente September 3, 2008 at 9:26 pm

Dude, looks like the Hucktser stopped running marathons.

bitchincamaro September 3, 2008 at 9:26 pm

The Huckster is still breathing and stupid and I thank the baby Jee bus.

SayItWithWookies September 3, 2008 at 9:27 pm

It’s Mike I-think-I’m-funny Huckabee. Special drink for every mean joke. There’s one already.

DeezNuts September 3, 2008 at 9:27 pm

Squirrels! The other grey meat…

Liquid September 3, 2008 at 9:27 pm

AGGH!!! I just turned this on, and it was white Republican guys ‘dancing’!!

bitchincamaro September 3, 2008 at 9:27 pm

Elite media. That’d be Roger Ailes. No?

Q2 September 3, 2008 at 9:27 pm

Gomer Time.

The 3-Legged Man September 3, 2008 at 9:28 pm

I’m sold! I’m voting for the Nuts! Can the Cnut…er…Cunt! Yes!

AmericanValues September 3, 2008 at 9:28 pm

BEWARE THE EVIL!!! Only witch doctor Walnuts! has the magical powers to defeat THE EVIL that all these LIBERAL MEDIA ELITE can’t see.

Tito Puente September 3, 2008 at 9:28 pm

Fat + Funny = Chris Farley = Mike Huckabee = coke overdose

Whitey Did Katrina September 3, 2008 at 9:28 pm

Huck is talking about prejudice? Is he coming out of the closet????

tutone September 3, 2008 at 9:29 pm

Looks like the Hucks is letting his diet slip a wee bit. He’s so fat.

Slummervillain September 3, 2008 at 9:29 pm

I moved to Mass while Mitt was in office, and for the life of me I can’t figure out what people saw in him. Oh wait, we had moderate Mitt, not bible-thumping, fetus-protecting, crude-oil lovin’ Mitt….

bitchincamaro September 3, 2008 at 9:29 pm

Ah don’t see no cullers. And these cullers don’t run, you commies.

Q2 September 3, 2008 at 9:29 pm

He has respect for the niggah. But not because he’s a niggah.

Wrongavore September 3, 2008 at 9:29 pm

HUCKABEES CRACKIN JOKES

DeezNuts September 3, 2008 at 9:29 pm

I appreciate the Negroes, but only figuratively speaking, of course…

Mista Eko September 3, 2008 at 9:29 pm

Romney gives a 7 minute speech noting promiscuous high schoolers and Huckabee says he wished he was the president?! Oh McCain, you have been shit on by professionals!

CrackersMcHooligan September 3, 2008 at 9:30 pm

When I think how close this poor country came to the spectacle of Candidate Romney, it sends shivers up an down my spine.

Too smart to be a tard, too dumb to pose for honcho.

SayItWithWookies September 3, 2008 at 9:30 pm

“But the presidency is not a symbolic job.”
Someone should wake George Bush and let the fucker know.

Anonymous Office Zombie September 3, 2008 at 9:30 pm

Tackier than a costume change at a Madonna concert. Ho, ho, ho! Zing! Huckabee with the fresh material.

grendel September 3, 2008 at 9:30 pm

Woo hoo! The huckster is campaigning for Obama! I think? Maybe? WTF are any of them talking about?

bitchincamaro September 3, 2008 at 9:30 pm

OK, change repub style, now. Freedom, snooping, and the chance to shoot each other in the face.

Whitey Did Katrina September 3, 2008 at 9:30 pm

You want something to change? YOU’RE AT THE WRONG CONVENTION, point the time machine back and to the left.

AngryBlakGuy September 3, 2008 at 9:30 pm

…do they not realize that they are reminding America how badly they fukked things up?!?!

The 3-Legged Man September 3, 2008 at 9:31 pm

How did Huckabee get any votes in the primary? He indicts his own party, talks down to the uppity Obama, pretends he remembers segregation….Yes! Condemn the Obama trip to Europe! Those fuckers made us fight WWII, where McCain was held in Stalag 13 for 5.5 years.

sjano12 September 3, 2008 at 9:31 pm

Huckabee- And Opie almost made it to the White House, Aunt Bee would’ve been happy.

Subdude September 3, 2008 at 9:31 pm

This is not about McCain. It’s about ewe.

bitchincamaro September 3, 2008 at 9:31 pm

PLease give us less of YOUR gummint, Goober.

Anonymous Office Zombie September 3, 2008 at 9:32 pm

And now a riff on Bill and Ted? God, Republicans are a little behind the trend curve, aren’t they.

barren earth September 3, 2008 at 9:32 pm

Huckabee telling us how much Repub loooooove freedom. His hero is FDR..maybe he’ll vote for Obama?

Subdude September 3, 2008 at 9:32 pm

European ideas, like democracy.

Red Writer September 3, 2008 at 9:32 pm

Silk stockings and silver spoons? Seriously?

Kaylub September 3, 2008 at 9:32 pm

Soooo Washington is currently liberal? And we need to elect John McCain and Sarah Palin to move it far to the right of the hippie-dippy liberalism of the likes of George Bush and Dick Cheney? Huh.

Miss Pop Tart September 3, 2008 at 9:32 pm

Who can hold their liquor? Shots required every time Ghouliani says 9/11!!

Slummervillain September 3, 2008 at 9:32 pm

My german wife wants to castrate huckabee right about nowish….

Liquid September 3, 2008 at 9:32 pm

Hey, did anyone know this guy was an idiot??

Texas2Step September 3, 2008 at 9:32 pm

[re=81875]Atoz[/re]: And notice they recycle them. I think they call central casting at Disney. “Hey; send a group of random non-white people we can plug in…”

Red Writer September 3, 2008 at 9:33 pm

I’m not a Republican because I grew up rich, I’m a Republican because I’m a bigoted asshole!

Tito Puente September 3, 2008 at 9:33 pm

You were shower raped up through college?

WadISay September 3, 2008 at 9:33 pm

Huckabee quotes Nixon (without attribution, natch).

sjano12 September 3, 2008 at 9:33 pm

Huckabee- I guess the government should not have helped out the Gustav victims. Republicans don’t like government because they can’t govern!

SayItWithWookies September 3, 2008 at 9:33 pm

“I was in college before I found out it isn’t supposed to hurt when you take a shower.”
And if Mike ever sees his high school gym teacher again….

Subdude September 3, 2008 at 9:33 pm

It isn’t support to hurt when you take a shower with Lava.

hrhkingfriday September 3, 2008 at 9:34 pm

Cunts first…. er….

tutone September 3, 2008 at 9:34 pm

Oh man. Wasilla hates Biden!

AngryBlakGuy September 3, 2008 at 9:34 pm

…every human life has value until its born, then you are on your own.

DJABOSTON September 3, 2008 at 9:34 pm

He is an absolute fuckwit The audacity of that slimy phoney spouting his ridiculous rant before the entire country. He is laughable.

grendel September 3, 2008 at 9:35 pm

head exploding… none of this makes sense… need to drop some acid to understand

bitchincamaro September 3, 2008 at 9:35 pm

A mega-church in every pot!

Atoz September 3, 2008 at 9:35 pm

5 1/2 years!!!

chascates September 3, 2008 at 9:35 pm

TAKE THAT, Jumpin’ Joe! That’ll teach you to come to our convention!

AngryBlakGuy September 3, 2008 at 9:35 pm

…what the fukk is that building in the background.

Tito Puente September 3, 2008 at 9:35 pm

Drink.

barren earth September 3, 2008 at 9:35 pm

[re=81918]Subdude[/re]: and personal liberties.

Dreadful Gate September 3, 2008 at 9:35 pm

All I can think about when I see Mittens is the Mormon Garment he’s wearing. It has little cryptic symbols embroidered into it, and a special cock-hole for teh secks, so you don’t have to take it off.

Anonymous Office Zombie September 3, 2008 at 9:35 pm

MORE VOTES THAN BIDEN DID FOR PRESIDENT! OHHHH BURNNN!!! YOU JUST DESTROYED BIDEN WITH YOUR FUN FAXXX!!!

SayItWithWookies September 3, 2008 at 9:35 pm

“She got more votes running for mayor of Wasilla AK than Biden did running for president of the United States.”
Uh — she won by 800-some votes to 500-some votes — in a city of 5,000.

sjano12 September 3, 2008 at 9:36 pm

Was McCain in Viet Nam or something?

magic titty September 3, 2008 at 9:36 pm

democrats hate the freedom, security, and the moneys.
mm hmm.

bitchincamaro September 3, 2008 at 9:36 pm

Poor McCain’t, no Lava in the Nam.

AngryBlakGuy September 3, 2008 at 9:36 pm

…ummmmmmmmm, he didn’t take the easy path by having his ADMIRAL father and grandfather pull strings to keep him from washing out of flight school?!

hrhkingfriday September 3, 2008 at 9:36 pm

That mccain, he’s a giver

SayItWithWookies September 3, 2008 at 9:36 pm

“He was shot down and captured — brutally tortured…”
And he kept that watch in his ass for five and a half years!

Fat Old Dirty Whore September 3, 2008 at 9:37 pm

[re=81940]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: I think it’s the Little Rock Taco Bell

Ken Layne September 3, 2008 at 9:37 pm

Whoops, comments got turned off in Sara’s Huckabee liveblog, but that is now fixed, and the comments are on.

Monsieur Grumpe September 3, 2008 at 9:37 pm

Sexual favors for the desk.

hrhkingfriday September 3, 2008 at 9:38 pm

Hey- Black People!!

CthuNHu September 3, 2008 at 9:38 pm

Oh boy — here goes the “You don’t have to earn your desks. These brave veterans earned them for you” story, with the vets carrying them in.

columnv September 3, 2008 at 9:38 pm

[re=81945]SayItWithWookies[/re]: [re=81944]Anonymous Office Zombie[/re]: Absolutely a killer fact. Joe Biden has died, I believe.

bitchincamaro September 3, 2008 at 9:38 pm

Prick knows how to read a t-promptor.

Atoz September 3, 2008 at 9:38 pm

Kids need to be POWs before they earn desks in school.

barren earth September 3, 2008 at 9:38 pm

you get a desk if you kill foreigners..what a lesson

tutone September 3, 2008 at 9:39 pm

That teacher was batshit insane.

bitchincamaro September 3, 2008 at 9:39 pm

Wait! We went to war for desks?????

CthuNHu September 3, 2008 at 9:39 pm

I swear, Huckabee hasn’t gotten a single new story in the last two years.

dontmeanship September 3, 2008 at 9:39 pm

I forgot what this is about already. What do veterans and school desks have to do with anything. Shaggy dog story.

bitchincamaro September 3, 2008 at 9:40 pm

Ken, why do you hate Sara?

ms_mcgee September 3, 2008 at 9:40 pm

So the point of that story is…you don’t have to do anything to earn your desk? Freaking awesome.

hrhkingfriday September 3, 2008 at 9:40 pm

Longest story, ever!!! Nam vets bring back desks? I don’t get it… I’m pretty sure the (lead covered) desks came from China.

Atoz September 3, 2008 at 9:40 pm

[re=81940]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: that is the beautiful yard that you can EARN in Huck’s America.

Tito Puente September 3, 2008 at 9:40 pm

NO FUCKING SNARKING ON THE FAT UGLY CRYING VETERAN!

sjano12 September 3, 2008 at 9:40 pm

Did not John McCain oppose MLK holiday?

barren earth September 3, 2008 at 9:40 pm

what is up with the school desks? are they made from the bodies of the Vietnamese..

villageatrois September 3, 2008 at 9:40 pm

Wooo! Mittens is stomping the shit out of the Republican Congress and Whitehouse! They’ve done a lot of big-spending liberal stuff, and he hates it. But, first Romnoid paused for sly digs at Huckabee and Palen’s children when he abhorred pornography and promiscuity in the schools.

Mittbot is back!

Texas2Step September 3, 2008 at 9:41 pm

Um, Huck? The students don’t need to earn their desks because their PARENTS PAID TAXES FOR THEM.

dontmeanship September 3, 2008 at 9:41 pm

I just noticed the veterans at this convention are way older than at the democrat one.

Subdude September 3, 2008 at 9:42 pm

Iraqis hate us for our desks.

Merkin September 3, 2008 at 9:42 pm

Hucklebee makes me chuckle, but he also kinda makes me want to barf. School desks? WTF?

grendel September 3, 2008 at 9:42 pm

hahahaha… Douchy Huckster was wrong about Biden’s votes for Preznit… he got 33,000 votes for Preznit, 6x as many people were in Shithole Wassila Alaska…

bitchincamaro September 3, 2008 at 9:42 pm

Huckster will now go back and make disgusting muskrat love to his chilrins.

Tito Puente September 3, 2008 at 9:43 pm

[re=81985]barren earth[/re]:
Nice.

DeezNuts September 3, 2008 at 9:43 pm

As early evidence of Sarah’s pregancy, they eloped!

dontmeanship September 3, 2008 at 9:44 pm

yay! basketball leader. Miss Wasilla! talk about *experience*. I’m convinced.
not

dontmeanship September 3, 2008 at 9:45 pm

I want to know more about Todd. How does he fish and work in the oil fields at the same time? Oh yah, I forgot, they spill the oil in the water up there.

dontmeanship September 3, 2008 at 9:46 pm

she won’t reinvent herself (unlike McShame)

bitchincamaro September 3, 2008 at 9:48 pm

Don’t know about you guys, but I’ve preeettty much had it with raspberry advertising making my free speech less free. But, fuck it. Fill the coffers.

Lascauxcaveman September 3, 2008 at 9:52 pm

[re=81774]ms_mcgee[/re]: We need to get rid of liberal Washington? He must be talking about Washington state.

Washington State? Please, we Washingtonians prefer “The Soviet of Washington.”

Thank You.

dontmeanship September 3, 2008 at 9:53 pm

yes, but the democrats can balance their checkbooks, unlike the republicans

The Incomparable Tiny Valdez September 3, 2008 at 9:56 pm

I missed this whole thing while grocery and vodka shopping. I trust I am better off for that.

dontmeanship September 3, 2008 at 9:57 pm

They’re still talking about geography, and the crowd is going nuts. am I missing something?

“Washington is broken”. I love it.

dontmeanship September 3, 2008 at 10:02 pm

ok, bets in now. how many mentions of 9/11 ? He actually has to say 911, 9/11, sept 11.

I say 20

Miss Pop Tart September 3, 2008 at 10:02 pm

Will Sarah wear a bun, or not?

DC Spring September 3, 2008 at 10:02 pm

[re=81953]Ken Layne[/re]: Wuz gonna ask. After a long day’s radon meter testing in the District I need something less carcinogenic to settle down with.

Fk me, it’s Mittens on liberals and their preposterous proposals and ghastly futures for the country, and some running mate named Helena Handbasket.

OMG hypocrisy overload!! Hurgh, hurgh, garrrhhhhh. Whoa, ermmm, ptsh ptsh uuuuh. Ik. Ptsh. Ahk. Hrrm.

Ok have voided the most obvious sources of bile but still my brain feels dirty.

dontmeanship September 3, 2008 at 10:05 pm

who is he talking about?

dontmeanship September 3, 2008 at 10:09 pm

no ideas, so he goes for character slurs. They’re not even good slurs.

Miss Pop Tart September 3, 2008 at 10:14 pm

Hypocrites on parade….

Miss Pop Tart September 3, 2008 at 10:16 pm

Hypocrites on parade

dontmeanship September 3, 2008 at 10:31 pm

I just saw Putin in the audience

DC Spring September 3, 2008 at 10:38 pm

[re=82220]dontmeanship[/re]: Ref me?? I’ll take you through this slowly, and soberly, having an outbreak of serious.

Mitt’s speech makes no sense to me. But Wonkette Executive Branch introduced the right themes.

There is a minor matter of a geopolitical and financial crisis under way, on the watch of the current administration. And some issues of those who have been in DC for some time pretending they’re outsiders. Ha.

The absence of a serious debate on economics over the past week should be a cause of concern.

I wanted to hear more on this from all the candidates, did not get it, and wonder how the fk the programs are going to be delivered. By whom, with what money, borrowed from whom at what rates and with what implications, and fkn so on.

Slurs? So I called Mittens a hypocrite? All good round here.

Fkn hell. I’m a wonk, this is Wonkette, but back to keeping the snarks surreal… which is my main and throbbing thrust.

TaraAriano September 3, 2008 at 10:49 pm

Kind of a stretch to call them “highlights,” but audio clips are up here: http://www.entertonement.com/collections/2896/Mitt-Romney-Addresses-The-2008-GOP-Convention

ms_mcgee September 4, 2008 at 12:16 am

Lascauxcaveman: Point taken from the Republic of Oregon

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