Wonkette
“A campaign official for the Virginia Lieutenant Governor cancelled an order for 150 guidebooks to entertainment in Minneapolis-St. Paul after discovering they included a 6-8 page section for gay and lesbian nightclubs. …[The publisher's] website features information and listings for an array of nightlife activities for gays and lesbians in the Minneapolis area, including ‘queer speed dating,’ trivia night, and dildo bingo.” Aww, now the Lieutenant Governor will have to play dildo bingo by himself. Jesus never meant for this. [ABC News]
Levi, you are so hot! I want to have your babies!
Dildo bingo? So the marker is a giant cock, then? Or do you win dildos when you get a bingo? Either one sounds like fun.
My favorite version of dildo bingo is blackout.
Fools. He could have sold them for twice the cover price.
Like the GAY 90s doesn’t have ‘private’ (parts) parties everynight. Just take a look at the MSP Craigslist.
I think all speed dating is kinda queer.
Perfect for Mother’s Day . . . the gift that keeps on giving!
Dildos get so jealous of other dildos.
Eva Braun invented dildo bingo when she was hold up in the cows nest with the furhrer.
NoWireHangers: actually it’s exactly the same as normal bingo, except when you get 5 numbers in a row, you jump up and scream DILDO!!!
Poor Virginia Republicans — they’re already so close to turning gay that they can’t even bear to see it mentioned, lest the plane trip to St. Paul turn into a giant gay orgy. I hope their suites at the hotel have walk-in closets.
Norbert: Really? That’s it? That’s kind of a let down. It sounded so much more glamorous than regular bingo.
NoWireHangers: Agreed. In fact, that sounds about as fun as adding “in bed” to the end of fortunte cookie fortunes. Not the worst time that can be had, but not uproariously “fun”, either.
A Cthulu dildo cozy? Can such a thing truly be? I am so very happy now.
Hence, the M4M craigslist trolls…
Kaine’s still just pissed about not getting the VP nod. He’s working through the Lieutenant Governor to ruin everyone’s fun, now.
Note how ABC News put “queer speed dating” in scare quotes, but they let dildo bingo go as-is, because obviously dildo bingo is self-explanatory.
What is speed dating? Dating on speed?
Everyone is missing the point here. This was an attempt to stop frivolous spending. Everyone in Virginia is well aware of all these activities already. So it would be a waste of tax dollars to put into this book that the taxpayers pay for that tells the people that the taxpayers pay where to go for fun while the taxpayers pay for the fun.
i bet dildo bingo is sponsored by the 9″ uncut viking cock dude from craig’s list.
Is that a Cthulhu dildo-cozy? I bet they don’t teach you how to make that in the regular yarn craft books…
The guidebooks were returned because a true republican needs no guidebook to know where to find some hot gay entertainment. They have an unique “gheydar” gland, a sixth sense, if you will.
Plus, they have each other, no need for outside “contractors”.
edgydrifter: Aw, you beat me to it. Dildotic Cozies: The perfect X-mas gift for everyone on your list.
This is not going to please the Charlie Krist-Mark Foley-Larry Craig wing of the party….but that whirling, veinous, curly elephant’s tail is looking better to them every day!
On the other hand, as Phil “Enron” Gramm likes to say, “I have as many guns as I need, but I don’t have as many guns as I want.” I’m sure Phil’s not interested in a dildo tour of “The Saintly City”. Drilling, yes, but not that kind.
AnnieGetYourFun: I was just speculating, because I can.
Would it sound more fun if you had a human pyramid of 25 of the nation’s top Lieutenant Governors, naked and greased up, and you had to get a line of 5 in a row with a dildo inserted in them?
edgydrifter: Right? Do they have those for any other “appliances”?
Speaking of chthulu cozies, I’d wear that on a chilly night
Now *that’s* anal-retentive.
y’know, who’d have ever thought a GOP convention would be the source of such comedy gold? I mean, really? Starting with the old super tuber.
I think its a green rabbit with dreads.
That is SO a Cthulu Dildo Cozy, and thanks Wonkette for giving me the perfect Xmas gift idea for my mom and sisters.
You do win dildos (or sex toys/porn in general) at Dildo Bingo and it’s at the (mostly) lesbian bar Pi. If you happen to be in Minneapolis…it’s a good time.
isn’t that dildo the little statuette-turned monster from Trilogy of Terror? I bet Karen Black is getting all misty-eyed over it as I type…
Poor Melissa Busse… so repressed… so in need of a good four corners dildo bingo game.
Maybe if Bristol Palin had been given the opportunity to learn about about playing solo dildo bingo she wouldn’t be pregnant.
Actually Dildo Bingo is set up by Pi Bar and the Smitten Kitten. It’s a pretty fun event with great prizes. Anything from butt plugs to dildos to porn and much more. When people have a tie they have to have a dance off to see who wins. Gogopimp Tif is the host for the event is is pretty hilarious. All the money raised from DILDO BINGO goes to charity. Everyone seems to have a great time including all walks of life, gay, straight, trans, bi, queer, inbetween, ect…. Even the folks you would think would be a bit uptight about it, still end up having a great time !!!
Lt. Gov. Bill Bolling is not upset with dildo bingo, he’s just annoyed that it’s being so well advertised. Now when he goes to his favorite gay clubs they will be so overcrowded. He’ll have to wait in line at the front door, just to get in the back door.
Thanks for tipping tif, sara. And the link? You’re fancy. I just run dildo bingo so hundreds of strangers can pluck bingo cards from my box. I’m so excited that dildo bingo is international news, the way it should be. I had to call my mom I’m so proud. By the way sara, we prefer ‘queer’, not lesbian. It’s more republican friendly.