• February 15, 2012

Oh we hate you. We hate you. You are a stinking whining sanctimonious sack of death tampons and pus. You, Joe Lieberman, insult the dignity of roaches. You are a diarrhea diaper. Let’s liveblog your pathetic bullshit.

9:42 PM — Eeewwhooohh, Vinegar Joe is against partisanship … if it’s anti-McCain/Bush.
9:42 PM — You scum-sucking weasel, you’re not a Democrat. You’re an opportunist little creep.
9:43 PM — This is almost to difficult to liveblog.
9:45 PM — More Bushmill’s, please, waitress! Thank you thank you thank you.
9:48 PM — “God made John McCain, and he is his own man.” Then why did God have to make John McCain?
9:48 PM — Let’s point out the things Lieberman loves more than anything, as he whines and wobbles for the adulation of the Republican cultists. Joe Lieberman loves abortion, liberalism, taxes, and aborting Republicans. As soon as this speech is over, he’s going to perform a late-term abortion on Sarah Palin’s nine pregnant daughters.
9:51 PM — “She’s taken on the special interests and the political power brokers in Alaska.” Ha ha, this is Ted Stevens’ special lobbyist who got $127 million in earmarks for her snowbilly suburb in Alaska, through earmarks. She took them on! Sarah Palin took them on in a double-secret way, by representing them all, and taking all their money.
9:53 PM — OH YOU DUMB FUCKS YOU LEFT A GREEN SCREEN BEHIND LIEBERMAN. A million wacky YouTubes will bloom tomorrow, with all kinds of stupid calamity going on behind Lieberman’s dumb speech … video of him kissing Al Gore, whining about Prince records, and basically being a douche older and uglier than Yoda, minus The Force. Go to it, you nuts!
9:56 PM — Please really do these fun YouTube videos.
9:57 PM — Ha ha, Lieberman has been in the Senate for two decades, and John McCain has been in the Senate and the House for three decades, so these two proud reformers will magically clean up Washington by, uh, pretending they haven’t spent their whole lives being crooks in the Washington Crook Farm, against you, the American who has to have a job or whatever.
9:59 PM — Who wants to bet this withered box of trash will be the GOP veep nominee by Friday? We think it’ll be maybe early next week, but what the hell.

{ 236 comments }

AnnieGetYourFun September 2, 2008 at 10:46 pm

Oh, and see, here I thought that you believed in a woman’s right to chose, Joe. I guess you won’t mind if McCain and Palin take that away, then?

whatever_dc September 2, 2008 at 10:46 pm

ladies and gentlemen: the next president of israel!

Tawmn September 2, 2008 at 10:46 pm

What a bitch.

DieOnTheTurnpike September 2, 2008 at 10:46 pm

I haven’t seen any Asians on the teevee tonight, but I’ve been seeing a lot of chins in the peanut gallery.

badco/LoJ September 2, 2008 at 10:46 pm

That natural disaster 911 was teh suk.

AnnieGetYourFun September 2, 2008 at 10:47 pm

Natural disaster? EPIC MUTHAFUCKING FAIL.

Keram2 September 2, 2008 at 10:47 pm

Every year, smokin’ joe looks more and more like a California Raisin.

SayItWithWookies September 2, 2008 at 10:47 pm

Joe and John — they’re both dedicated people who putz their country first.

DieOnTheTurnpike September 2, 2008 at 10:47 pm

9/11 was a natural disaster?! Now the truth can be told.

Monsieur Grumpe September 2, 2008 at 10:47 pm

Why does he keep saying he’s a Democrat?

Advocatus_Diaboli September 2, 2008 at 10:47 pm

yup, that about covers it.

knoxtheharpy September 2, 2008 at 10:47 pm

Vinegar Joe just called himself a Democrat. Is he serious?

jasonelias September 2, 2008 at 10:47 pm

He’s digusting, I even hated him when he was on Gore’s ticket, hated him many years before that.

NoWireHangers September 2, 2008 at 10:48 pm

What a weasely little opportunist fuck. When Obama wins this thing, it’ll be soooo good to see Liebs get his comeuppance.

VivaLaCynthia September 2, 2008 at 10:48 pm

I wonder how many clothespins they had to put in the back of his head to hold those jowels back so the sound could leave ol’ Droopy McDoucheface’s mouth.

chascates September 2, 2008 at 10:48 pm

He just wants someone, ANYONE to bomb Iran!

SayItWithWookies September 2, 2008 at 10:48 pm

Y’know — if I think of Joe Lieberman spying on me I may never get it up in my lifetime again.

floraway September 2, 2008 at 10:48 pm

Seriously, stop saying that you’re a Democrat. You are not.

Keram2 September 2, 2008 at 10:48 pm

Hate to break it to you, it’s not the democrats that are spending lots to destroy McCain’s record as a Maverick. It’s John McCain.

whatever_dc September 2, 2008 at 10:48 pm

joe and john are gayer than bert and ernie!

nietzscheprojectile September 2, 2008 at 10:48 pm

Oh Ken, your filthy eloquence keeps me up. I’m not quite sure what to think of that.

AnnieGetYourFun September 2, 2008 at 10:48 pm

Interesting that he hasn’t gone after Hussein Obama. Think he will?

tits.mcgee September 2, 2008 at 10:48 pm

all 3 of my cats just threw up.

badco/LoJ September 2, 2008 at 10:49 pm

He speaks “as a Democrat” one more time…

graceless September 2, 2008 at 10:49 pm

[re=80466]Keram2[/re]: win.

jagorev September 2, 2008 at 10:49 pm

This is the best they can do? Use a Connecticut Jew to emphasize the fact that McCain isn’t that much of a partisan Republican? Yeah, I’m starting to feel pretty good about November now.

notapipe September 2, 2008 at 10:49 pm

God made only one John Sidney McCain. Except John Sidney McCain I and John Sidney McCain II.

SayItWithWookies September 2, 2008 at 10:49 pm

“God made only one John McCain — and he is his own man.”
Damn Joe — you still got that magic that got those results in 2000.

VivaLaCynthia September 2, 2008 at 10:49 pm

I think there’s a separate noise being emitted from his jowels that the mic is picking up…

AnnieGetYourFun September 2, 2008 at 10:49 pm

Ha! A dig at Michael Moore kinda! That’s really something. Topical, too.

jagorev September 2, 2008 at 10:49 pm

“young man” = racial codeword?

Tubs McGee September 2, 2008 at 10:49 pm

I’m glad he let us know that he’s not Michael Moore’s favorite Democrat. TWO TIMES. Just in case we didn’t get the “joke”.

tacodaemon September 2, 2008 at 10:49 pm

That loud motherfucker is still shouting near the CNN microphones. YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH

DieOnTheTurnpike September 2, 2008 at 10:50 pm

A Michael Moore joke! Classic!

melvin September 2, 2008 at 10:50 pm

John McCain took on corrupt lobbyists? How? By hiring them for his campaign?

dball213 September 2, 2008 at 10:50 pm

I’ll give them this, that is the most realistic muppet I have ever seen.

Smoke Filled Roommate September 2, 2008 at 10:50 pm

Yeah, we get that you’re not Michael Moore’s favorite Democrat.

Tito Puente September 2, 2008 at 10:50 pm

Old Man has 47 pieces of flare on his chachees cowboy hat.

I Am Not Your Gary Busey September 2, 2008 at 10:50 pm

“Spike! You shouldn’t be running around with no clothes on.”

http://i28.photobucket.com/albums/c219/ucfburnsy/droopy.jpg

knoxtheharpy September 2, 2008 at 10:50 pm

Eloquence is no substitute for a record. Eh, Sarah Palin?

grendel September 2, 2008 at 10:50 pm

Senator Palpatine is looking surprisingly lively

VivaLaCynthia September 2, 2008 at 10:50 pm

Oh, pleaaaase applaud Bill Clinton!!! YAY!!

ph7 September 2, 2008 at 10:51 pm

When will the cameras pan to the West Texas contingent’s kneejerk reaction to start tying the noose for the jewboy, but being talked out of it by Karl Rove…

SayItWithWookies September 2, 2008 at 10:51 pm

“Then I’m Michael Moore’s favorite Democrat. Hnh hnh hnh. And you know that I’m not.”
Making Jay Leno look like a savage wit.

Scarab September 2, 2008 at 10:51 pm

Is there a Republican man in that crowd that isn’t 30 pounds overweight?

jagorev September 2, 2008 at 10:51 pm

The RNC just applauded for Bill Clinton? The Republican party is officially dead.

graceless September 2, 2008 at 10:51 pm

Why is everything always all about the Clintons?

whatever_dc September 2, 2008 at 10:51 pm

[re=80491]tits.mcgee[/re]: i just spurted vodka threw my nose and it HURTS!

AnnieGetYourFun September 2, 2008 at 10:51 pm

Oh, god. Did they all just clap for Clinton? What?

notapipe September 2, 2008 at 10:51 pm

Wait. Joe Leiberman is comparing the record of a Senator to that of a President? Yeah, that makes lots of sense.

Monsieur Grumpe September 2, 2008 at 10:51 pm

Did they just applaud Clinton?

grendel September 2, 2008 at 10:51 pm

Joe is going to defend Palin… there goes the last scrap of a soul…

TheSYNDICATE September 2, 2008 at 10:51 pm

Quick, Holy Joe has put everyone to sleep. Ron Paul revolution should invade in 3.2.1…

Keram2 September 2, 2008 at 10:51 pm

Did the RNC just cheer Bill Clinton? Did.. did that just happen?

whatever_dc September 2, 2008 at 10:51 pm

oh dear zeus — he’s praising sarahcuda!!!!! i just threw up in my mouth!!! TWICE!!!

floraway September 2, 2008 at 10:52 pm

Jesus, the way they’ve been talking about Welfare reform tonight, you’d think that they were able to get everyone a job and off of Welfare. Congrats, Republicans! There are no more poors!

Scarab September 2, 2008 at 10:52 pm

Does Joe have an upper set of teeth?

SayItWithWookies September 2, 2008 at 10:52 pm

Okay — he did get the RNC to applaud Bill Clinton. I will petition Satan to place him in one higher level of hell just for that.

Terry September 2, 2008 at 10:52 pm

Joe seemed to hold back either a sob or a gag when he said McCain…..Palin ticket

Smoke Filled Roommate September 2, 2008 at 10:52 pm

Great Lady! Great Laaaaady!

NoWireHangers September 2, 2008 at 10:52 pm

“The real ticket for change this year is the McCain/Palin ticket”

GOOD GOD. These assholes will say anything! CHANGE? I need a drink…

knoxtheharpy September 2, 2008 at 10:52 pm

Okay, so clearly they’re going with the “breath of fresh air/take on Washington” meme with respect to the snowbilly.

tits.mcgee September 2, 2008 at 10:53 pm

whatever_dc: don’t waste your vodka, you’re gonna need it to get through the next few minutes.

Lionel Hutz Esq. September 2, 2008 at 10:53 pm

Wait, the Republicans keep saying that McCain can get things done.

And yet none of them says what he has gotten done.

Strange, that.

floraway September 2, 2008 at 10:53 pm

No, Republicans just build pens for all of the journalists that they are having arrested.

VivaLaCynthia September 2, 2008 at 10:53 pm

[re=80526]notapipe[/re]: Good point.

Tito Puente September 2, 2008 at 10:53 pm

Hottie…

badco/LoJ September 2, 2008 at 10:53 pm

YAY for national unity! Fuck the Democrat Congress!

SayItWithWookies September 2, 2008 at 10:54 pm

“These are tough times at home and we have dangerous enemies in the world.”
Thank you, George W. Bush.

notapipe September 2, 2008 at 10:54 pm

Retreating from Iraq would have been a disaster for the USA. Unlike, say, the Iraq War.

Smoke Filled Roommate September 2, 2008 at 10:55 pm

‘Dangerous Enemies’? That would be you, Joe. YOU !!!

Scarab September 2, 2008 at 10:55 pm

They’re coming home in honor? WTF does that mean?

notapipe September 2, 2008 at 10:55 pm

[re=80543]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: That’s because the only thing he’s ever gotten done is a broken campaign finance reform, and they hate that shit.

whatever_dc September 2, 2008 at 10:55 pm

[re=80542]tits.mcgee[/re]: just refilled!

Twinkletoes September 2, 2008 at 10:55 pm

Who is this Surge? She won the war for us?! McCain / Surge 2008!

VivaLaCynthia September 2, 2008 at 10:55 pm

What were the fucktards just chanting? “Chunky barber”?

grendel September 2, 2008 at 10:55 pm

My high school’s pep rallies were louder and more lively than this

gradgrind September 2, 2008 at 10:55 pm

Of course we “don’t need more party unity,” Jo-Lie. Because that would be Michelle Bachman and Dubya in a closet, smooching furiously, trying to forget they don’t have another firend in the world.

Oooh . . . “coming home in honor” from Iraq — “honor” is what we call “a casket” now? Jus’ askin’.

Keram2 September 2, 2008 at 10:55 pm

[re=80536]Scarab[/re]: Joe proves that you can be completely toothless, and still be a bloodsucking cunt.

SayItWithWookies September 2, 2008 at 10:55 pm

“And they’re coming home in honor.”
I hope someone tells the Iraqi insurgents they’re losing.

notapipe September 2, 2008 at 10:56 pm

“Even with Lindsay Graham it’s been a pleasure.” Yeah, it’s always important to have a jew at your comedy roast.

jagorev September 2, 2008 at 10:56 pm

“Even with Lindsey Graham it was a pleasure”

Oh snap! Looks like Vinegar Joe is sleeping on the couch tonight.

AnnieGetYourFun September 2, 2008 at 10:56 pm

That’s right, Joe. Because supporting the “surge” means that we support our troops by keeping them in a war zone. They can come home NOW in honor, but if we had let them come hom earlier, oh! The SHAME! Thank goodness you were able to keep the stupid troops in a constant loop of redeployment.

Monsieur Grumpe September 2, 2008 at 10:56 pm

My friends are watchening?

SayItWithWookies September 2, 2008 at 10:56 pm

“John McCain will be a president our allies will trust and our enemies will fear.”
Except Georgia and Russia, respectively.

DieOnTheTurnpike September 2, 2008 at 10:56 pm

The Japanese leaders are especially fond of him… John’s ability to survive kamikaze missions is astonishing.

grendel September 2, 2008 at 10:56 pm

No, Joe, we’re angry and frustrated that you’re such a douchebag…

Dernyul September 2, 2008 at 10:56 pm

Did he just say Anne Frank?

badco/LoJ September 2, 2008 at 10:57 pm

Are they chanting “J-E-W”?

melvin September 2, 2008 at 10:57 pm

What did Lindsay Graham do to Joe when they were traveling together? Grab his cock?

Tito Puente September 2, 2008 at 10:57 pm

Young John McCain, Joe Liberman, and Lindsay Graham backpacked through Europe after college and scored mad Canadian tail in the hostels.

whatever_dc September 2, 2008 at 10:57 pm

never mind — i’m switching to everclear! and heroin! he’s appealing to his “fellow” democrats! what–there’s that many traitors in this country???

Smoke Filled Roommate September 2, 2008 at 10:57 pm

[re=80557]Scarab[/re]: As we’ve seen from this convention thus far, ‘Honor’ = Body bags and/or missing limbs.

EnBuenOra September 2, 2008 at 10:57 pm

Believe With Me!!!

VivaLaCynthia September 2, 2008 at 10:57 pm

I think he also just got the RNC to cheer that people usually don’t want to vote for them…

AnnieGetYourFun September 2, 2008 at 10:57 pm

[re=80557]Scarab[/re]: “Honor” is code for “bodybags”. Goodness knows that Republicans love and honor a dead soldier more than one who is falling apart from PTSD.

No, Joe, I am angry and frustrated with YOU. I’m good with the other side.

Dreadful Gate September 2, 2008 at 10:58 pm

Mel Gibson was on to something

SayItWithWookies September 2, 2008 at 10:58 pm

I know one thing about people who say “trust me” as often as Lieberman has. You shouldn’t.

Scarab September 2, 2008 at 10:58 pm

Even the cameras are bored.

notapipe September 2, 2008 at 10:58 pm

“Unlike other Republican Senators, John McCain doesn’t try to fuck dudes when he has a wide stance. He’s straight where he stands.”

mitch_philbin September 2, 2008 at 10:58 pm

I am a Democrat, Joey. And other Democrats are my friends. You, Mr Liarman, are no Democrat!!

Tawmn September 2, 2008 at 10:58 pm

Fuck you Joe!

MplsMama September 2, 2008 at 10:59 pm

What are “ordinary times” and why are we not in them?

Whiskeybaby September 2, 2008 at 10:59 pm

Would it be too much to ask that when Barry and Joe win, that their first order of business is shooting everyone in this room from a helicopter, in the snow? Even if it’s just with blanks?

whatever_dc September 2, 2008 at 10:59 pm

when he first raised his hand — OFF HIS PENIS!

Fear of a Black Reagan September 2, 2008 at 10:59 pm

This is some real meta shit. Stand up to the lobbyists. Get our government working. Isn’t the press all mad at Barry for being too meta? Jew Liberalman is so meta it’s practically trefah!

Tawmn September 2, 2008 at 10:59 pm

Since the age of the 1700′s

robotico September 2, 2008 at 10:59 pm

Catholics know – there’s no one as rabid as a convert.

grendel September 2, 2008 at 10:59 pm

Is Jowly McDoucherson almost done? I’m not sure I can take much more…

Why doesn’t Lieberman just tell it like it is: The scary black man yelled at me!

PrincessButtercup September 2, 2008 at 10:59 pm

I’m not your friend, Buddy.

melvin September 2, 2008 at 10:59 pm

Joe, you don’t appeal to any Democrats I know.

iwillsavethispatient September 2, 2008 at 11:00 pm

[re=80563]gradgrind[/re]: The old Lie; Dulce et Decorum est \ Pro patria mori.

And that’s Latin, folks.

shortsshortsshorts September 2, 2008 at 11:00 pm

Sorry, but.
FUCK YOU LIEBERMAN YOU PANDERING FUCK HEAD.

I will agree with you that we shouldn’t vote along party lines. This should probably help Barry in the long run.

jagorev September 2, 2008 at 11:00 pm

John McCain is a fucking idiot not to have gone with Lieberman as VP.

knoxtheharpy September 2, 2008 at 11:00 pm

WALNUTS! always puts Country First, unlike that closet Muslim and raghead lover Barry Hussein Obama.

Monsieur Grumpe September 2, 2008 at 11:00 pm

Bomb Connecticut.

SayItWithWookies September 2, 2008 at 11:00 pm

“My friends, I appeal to independents, Democrats and Republicans.”
Okay — half out of three ain’t bad.

notapipe September 2, 2008 at 11:00 pm

Oh, Joementum, you fool. No matter which Americans come together, we can’t make John McCain a great president. That requires magical powers possessed only by British wizards from Hogwarts.

Terry September 2, 2008 at 11:00 pm

Wow, the cameras have found all three minorities in the hall tonight. That must have been difficult!

jagorev September 2, 2008 at 11:01 pm

[re=80593]MplsMama[/re]: 9/11 9/11 9/11

notapipe September 2, 2008 at 11:01 pm

Man, apparently Republicans? Not so into applauding Jewish Rabbis.

tits.mcgee September 2, 2008 at 11:01 pm

jon stewart woooooooooooo

Scarab September 2, 2008 at 11:01 pm

OMG it’s Raymond Burr!!!!!

graceless September 2, 2008 at 11:01 pm

Why’s the rabbi doing a benediction?

SayItWithWookies September 2, 2008 at 11:01 pm

It’s a Jew doubleheader! And the Republican bullpen is exhausted.

VivaLaCynthia September 2, 2008 at 11:01 pm

[re=80580]Tito Puente[/re]: God, I hope someone turns that premise into a movie.

DieOnTheTurnpike September 2, 2008 at 11:02 pm

Joe brought another Jew to speak! This is indeed a bitchslap to the foaming-at-the-mouth Jeebus lovers everywhere.

obfuscator September 2, 2008 at 11:02 pm

Isn’t there some RNC bylaw prohibiting two Jews from speaking back-to-back? Oy vey!

pixiestyx September 2, 2008 at 11:02 pm

What a turncoat little shit. He asks people (Democrats) not to vote their party but the person? Does he not realize that many people joined the Democratic party to vote for Obama in the primary because they didn’t give a shit about party politics but wanted to support the man? What a dumbshit.

VivaLaCynthia September 2, 2008 at 11:02 pm

Can we liveblog the Daily Show now? Please??

SayItWithWookies September 2, 2008 at 11:03 pm

CNN cuts to the people streaming for the exits. Take your time, people — the traffic won’t be that bad.

graceless September 2, 2008 at 11:03 pm

Boy, he’s no tiny tim, is he?

Monsieur Grumpe September 2, 2008 at 11:03 pm

[re=80610]Terry[/re]:
I noticed they kept showing the same balck guy over and over. He looked bored.

Tito Puente September 2, 2008 at 11:03 pm

Matthews is going for the sex-kitten look.

shortsshortsshorts September 2, 2008 at 11:03 pm

[re=80611]jagorev[/re]: 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/119/119/11 9/119/119/119/119/119/119/119/119/119/119/119/119/119/119/119/119/119/119/119/119/119/119/119/119/119/119/119/119/119/119/119/119/119/119/119/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11

Always remember
119/

Smoke Filled Roommate September 2, 2008 at 11:03 pm

No ordinary election– Hell, we’ve got spooks, Bengali children, amputees and Jews like me! We are NORMAL, and we are announcing right here that we are appreciative and accepting of all [once deemed] rejects! We love everything in our condescending way!

shortsshortsshorts September 2, 2008 at 11:03 pm

Country Fuuuurst

Lionel Hutz Esq. September 2, 2008 at 11:04 pm

Let me see if I got the theme of tonight right. Should Iran invade, John McCain will have himself tortured for 5 1/2 years.

SayItWithWookies September 2, 2008 at 11:04 pm

This is beautiful — a stadium half-full of Baptists has to listen to a benediction that’s more than two-and-a-half minutes long. Pain.

Scarab September 2, 2008 at 11:05 pm

And so ends ‘Boring Speech Day’ at he GOP convention.

obfuscator September 2, 2008 at 11:05 pm

[re=80624]SayItWithWookies[/re]: The traffic to the men’s room stalls will be NUTS TO BUTTS… literally.

SayItWithWookies September 2, 2008 at 11:05 pm

Recessional: Where the Boys Are

gradgrind September 2, 2008 at 11:06 pm

[re=80607]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: HEY STOP!!! Connecticut’s hot for Obama. We need those electoral votes. Sure you hate rabid dogs, but don’t take it out on the humans.”

Tawmn September 2, 2008 at 11:06 pm

I just threw Barry a few more bucks! Shame on the state of Connecticut for electing this has-been repugnant windbag piece of shit.

notapipe September 2, 2008 at 11:06 pm

Man, the background during the benediction is way cheesy. A sunset behind a flag? Man, dudes, you’re so awesome.

Hey, you know what would be good to show behind these Republicans? A spinning animated gif of a yellow sign showing a guy working. And maybe a rainbow colored divider bar. Then we can all listen to your awesome Toby Keith embedded MIDI. (Er, well, maybe not him, some other racist who HASN’T endorsed Obama.)

Monsieur Grumpe September 2, 2008 at 11:06 pm

[re=80631]shortsshortsshorts[/re]:
Cuntry fist

nsps September 2, 2008 at 11:06 pm

Between the screaming idiots and the throat-clearing, this is truly a speech to remember. I also like the attempt to shout “USA! USA!” for no particular reason.

I want to see George Washington in his farewell dress.

Keram2 September 2, 2008 at 11:07 pm

[re=80602]iwillsavethispatient[/re]: Oh man, you just quoted a poem on Wonkette. Are you allowed to do that?

Tito Puente September 2, 2008 at 11:08 pm

Whoa! Newt Gingrich just stomped on Barry’s guts.

Magister September 2, 2008 at 11:09 pm

[re=80593]MplsMama[/re]: “Ordinary times” is when the other guy isn’t black.

Outstando September 2, 2008 at 11:09 pm

I think you meant to say withered box of distended & hemorrhoidal ass trash.

Keram2 September 2, 2008 at 11:09 pm

[re=80641]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: Convention, pwned.

tits.mcgee September 2, 2008 at 11:09 pm

puttin’ the cunt back in cuntry …

sweetits September 2, 2008 at 11:09 pm

Newt just went ape shit on MSNBC. I smell major fear in this Palin pick.

Monsieur Grumpe September 2, 2008 at 11:10 pm

[re=80638]gradgrind[/re]:
I meant “Bomb Connecticut” in the nice way.

nyhfrog September 2, 2008 at 11:10 pm

I wish I could be funny but these lying pieces of shit have done such damage to this country and this asshole who conceded the 2000 election way before it was over is in with the worst of the bunch. Fuck you, you Lie. You scum.

Smoke Filled Roommate September 2, 2008 at 11:10 pm

[re=80642]nsps[/re]: I want to see George Bush in his farewell dress. Low-cut and pink, I hear.

PeteJayhawk v2.0 September 2, 2008 at 11:11 pm

Does Vinegar Joe know that evangelicals truly and sincerely believe that he will be burning in eternal hell when he dies, and they hate him?

Fear of a Black Reagan September 2, 2008 at 11:11 pm

Newt Gingrich interview FTW! That’s how you fuck rats, Republicans!

My how much you’ve forgotten these past ten years…

Outstando September 2, 2008 at 11:12 pm

He should be made junior member of the Committee of Dildo Assfaces, and given an assignment to issue a major report on dildo assfaces in America, with a special Senate finding that it takes one to know one.

grendel September 2, 2008 at 11:13 pm

[re=80618]VivaLaCynthia[/re]: The Unicycle Diaries

Outstando September 2, 2008 at 11:13 pm

[re=80656]Outstando[/re]: and by that, I mean dog dildo assfaces.

nyhfrog September 2, 2008 at 11:14 pm

[re=80654]PeteJayhawk v2.0[/re]: Oh no! I learned as a teenager when I was trapped at an evangelical camp in South Texas that “The Jews are gunna git wun layest chaince.” Fuck you, condescending born again mutherfuckin’ counselor from 1980!

Shadowfax September 2, 2008 at 11:14 pm

FUCK YOU LIEBERMAN. JUST FUCK YOU.

pixiestyx September 2, 2008 at 11:14 pm

Joe is trying to cement himself as heir apparent when snowbilly gets dumped on her ass by Walnuts. How else can you explain all his fawning bullshit dreck? Now that tonight’s crapfest is over, can we get back to trashing the GILF?

Magister September 2, 2008 at 11:14 pm

I’m watching the Couric webcast and a delegate just went on about how Bristol keeping the baby endears Sarah to the pro-life movement. Talk about making lemonade…

Smoke Filled Roommate September 2, 2008 at 11:15 pm

“I disagree with the direction of the party, I want to stay and fight”.. for Israel, dammit, you gave it to us, what’s another hundred years?

Tito Puente September 2, 2008 at 11:15 pm

Andrea Mitchell: “In your own words,Se. Liberman, please describe why noone likes you.”

VivaLaCynthia September 2, 2008 at 11:16 pm

Oh, no–Droops McDoucheface is on MSNBC, giggling almost being on the ticket instead of Failin–I mean, Palin. Andrea Mitchell just fell asleep while interviewing him.

btwbfdimho September 2, 2008 at 11:16 pm

And they hold all those “Service” signs…Are they commanding the illegal mexicans to deliver more Martinis or what?

Smoke Filled Roommate September 2, 2008 at 11:17 pm

[re=80663]Magister[/re]: All of her kids have kids. Trig’s on his fifth fetus. This just in– They are all loved by God, apparently.

Fear of a Black Reagan September 2, 2008 at 11:17 pm

[re=80660]nyhfrog[/re]: Sorry to hear that! At Catholic camp they just raped us in the ass….seems like I got the better end of the stick…so to speak.

Gopherit v2.0 September 2, 2008 at 11:17 pm

I’m sure Joe is comforted that Sarah Palin is being tutored in Foreign Policy by former Bush Admin wonks?

ThatChicagoGuy September 2, 2008 at 11:19 pm

[re=80510]melvin[/re]: Joe is just following his own sage advice: “Keep your friends close. Keep your friends with lots of money to give you, give you lots of free trips, and write all of your opinions and legislation closer”

Smoke Filled Roommate September 2, 2008 at 11:19 pm

[re=80667]btwbfdimho[/re]: ftw

VivaLaCynthia September 2, 2008 at 11:19 pm

Is this guy a Gerald Ford, Jr. knockoff? Harold Ford, Jr? And he’s right–our economic situation does lack some luster. Let’s bring the luster back, guys!

burton judson September 2, 2008 at 11:20 pm

[re=80504]jagorev[/re]: “young man” – half a click away from “boy,” yah, but what else do you call a guy who is, what, ONLY 48 OR 47 OR WHATEVER ALMOST 50 YEARS OLD?

mirrorball September 2, 2008 at 11:21 pm

Well, to his credit he did get the RNC to applaud global warming. Or maybe they think the higher sea levels would make it harder for the immigrants to come here.

PeteJayhawk v2.0 September 2, 2008 at 11:22 pm

[re=80663]Magister[/re]: Not to get all serious here, but it alternately amuses/angers me when I hear about how the Palins are somehow to be commended for keeping their kids and not aborting them. The implication is that pro-choice women go around aborting fetuses left and right.

I don’t think that anyone WANTS abortions to happen. That’s why we’re in favor of pragmatic sex ed, distributing condoms, and the like….right?

grendel September 2, 2008 at 11:22 pm
AnnieGetYourFun September 2, 2008 at 11:23 pm

[re=80669]Fear of a Black Reagan[/re]: Ah, Catholic camp. Good times, sore fannies.

VivaLaCynthia September 2, 2008 at 11:23 pm

Tom Brokaw: “I wonder what Al Gore was doing in that moment?” That’s a good question, actually… Probably calling Droops a fucktard, just like the rest of us, I guess.

Brokaw & Co. are also making fun of ODM, nice!

Fear of a Black Reagan September 2, 2008 at 11:24 pm

Well, that was a nice speech by the man who invented human excrement…

american mutt September 2, 2008 at 11:24 pm

[re=80607]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: Yes. Bomb CT. Bush is also from there.

VivaLaCynthia September 2, 2008 at 11:24 pm

[re=80677]PeteJayhawk v2.0[/re]: Indeed. Also worth noting is the terminology the campaign has chosen–e.g., Bristol Palin has chosen to keep the baby. Nice that she has that choice, huh?

The 3-Legged Man September 2, 2008 at 11:25 pm

Pfffffffffft. Joe, give us just three examples of what Palin reformed? Please, don’t make the Enquirer do alllllll the heavy lifting.

KTHXBAI September 2, 2008 at 11:25 pm

I will fellate whoever signs the final signature on Connecticut’s Senatorial Recall Election Petition.

Smoke Filled Roommate September 2, 2008 at 11:26 pm

[re=80678]grendel[/re]: Dubya was born breakin’ the law.. Adds to his cowboy mystique.

thwanger September 2, 2008 at 11:27 pm

[re=80677]PeteJayhawk v2.0[/re]: yes. someone i used to work with, when he found out i was pro-choice, asked me ‘so, are you pro-abortion?’ and i’d never heard anyone say that before i immediately thought of people yelling ‘yay! abortions!’ no. no one is pro-abortions. we are pro keeping them legal.

PeteJayhawk v2.0 September 2, 2008 at 11:27 pm

[re=80678]grendel[/re]: Does it fucking matter? Like it matters now that he’s violating minor campaign laws.

VivaLaCynthia September 2, 2008 at 11:28 pm

Thanks, David Gregory–yes, this is a friggin’ awkward convention. We all understood that a while back.

thwanger September 2, 2008 at 11:29 pm

did anyone see a RNC video that was shown some time between 7 and 8 pm central time that had a female narrator saying something like ‘i was there’ and they showed MLK speaking and the also the twin towers falling? because it is the worst thing ever and we all need to watch it for its horribleness so someone please maybe find it and link?

PeteJayhawk v2.0 September 2, 2008 at 11:29 pm

[re=80685]The 3-Legged Man[/re]: She reformed her positions on earmarks, pretty damn quick-like.

grendel September 2, 2008 at 11:30 pm

[re=80685]The 3-Legged Man[/re]: Well, she led the Alaska National Guard in a daring invasion into Siberia before determining that there was nothing worth invading for… they kept it hush hush though.

Smoke Filled Roommate September 2, 2008 at 11:30 pm

[re=80677]PeteJayhawk v2.0[/re]: It’s better to have an assload of ill-equipped children than to screw with God’s work. C’mon get with the program!

PeteJayhawk v2.0 September 2, 2008 at 11:31 pm

[re=80691]thwanger[/re]: We can find it and link it and show it, but the terrible reality is that it will work for the intended audience.

Anonymous September 2, 2008 at 11:31 pm

Wow. Keith and co. counted Thompson’s coughs: 70! SEVENTY friggin’ coughs!

grendel September 2, 2008 at 11:31 pm

[re=80689]PeteJayhawk v2.0[/re]: Yeah, but wasn’t it MCCAIN’S freakin’ law? Is there no sense of irony left?

knitgrrl September 2, 2008 at 11:32 pm

“death tampons and pus” = my new band name

PeteJayhawk v2.0 September 2, 2008 at 11:36 pm

[re=80695]Smoke Filled Roommate[/re]: Up until last year, the whole abortion thing was something I cared about on a larger, more abstract level…then last year my sister had one. I’m sure not happy about it, but it was probably the best decision for everyone involved, including the abusive, possessive asshole that donated his sperm for it.

Nobody wanted that shit to happen, but happen it did. And the implication that my sister’s choice was somehow immoral, wrong, or criminal makes me want to punch Jonah Goldberg in the face (not sure why him, but it’s gotta be someone). And I don’t even really like my sister.

Magister September 2, 2008 at 11:37 pm

[re=80677]PeteJayhawk v2.0[/re]: According to legend, one of the big reasons that W beat Kerry was because Rove targeted specific areas with a high concentration of religious right and he took it down to such a localized market (or congregation) that it took the media by surprise.

I think all of this focus on anti-abortion, anti-media, non-elitist, pregnant teens, shotgun weddings and field dressing a moose-type rhetoric could be focused toward a very specific subset of voters and though it may not have been McCain’s original intention with the pick, the whole RNC might just be a long attempt to motivate those voters.

PeteJayhawk v2.0 September 2, 2008 at 11:38 pm

[re=80699]grendel[/re]: Heh. Good point. But seriously, there’s no political capital to be had by publicizing that. The great “undecideds”, retarded though they are, don’t care about shit like that. They care about the superficial bullshit.

Destonio September 2, 2008 at 11:39 pm

He is a vile, scum-sucking whore. Why people just don’t walk up to him and slap his scrotal face is beyond me.

benj-thewrathofgod September 2, 2008 at 11:40 pm

Ok. Lieberman is a tax and spend aborting pro war liberal. Shouldn’t that make everyone at the Ron Paul Holiday Inn Party just pissed as hell right now? Shouldn’t someone be making an oil painting of Dr. Paul wearing Constitution armor and riding a white horse and lancing Lieberman?

Ilikepigeons September 2, 2008 at 11:42 pm

Jesus just told me to go to bed.
No ambien tonight thanks to Lieberman.
Yawn. nighty night.

thwanger September 2, 2008 at 11:43 pm

[re=80700]knitgrrl[/re]: i would so see that band.

PeteJayhawk v2.0 September 2, 2008 at 11:43 pm

[re=80704]Magister[/re]: All that focus really hits home – I live in Kansas, so I see the effects of that shit. Luckily, I live in Lawrence so I don’t have to deal with it. Maybe I’m unduly influenced by reading “What’s the Matter With Kansas”, but I am continually flummoxed by Kansans’ (as a whole) attachment to the far right. Obama’s the guy that will ease their tax burden and fix the shit that Bush did, but they focus on how he’ll raise taxes for the rich and somehow extrapolate that to themselves, while including the whole standard “TAX N SPEND LIBRUL” thing…..despite the fact that the Republicans are the ones who tax and spend.

PeteJayhawk v2.0 September 2, 2008 at 11:45 pm

[re=80707]benj-thewrathofgod[/re]: Fuck the Paultards, shouldn’t that be pissing off the Republicans? Lieberman is Chuck Hagel – he doesn’t REALLY agree with them, but a couple of issues make up for it. Sorry, that’s not as clear as I’d like; I’m getting pretty drunk.

The 3-Legged Man September 2, 2008 at 11:45 pm

[re=80694]grendel[/re]: Actually, this is a little known fact: She has had a team of experts secretly going out at night and drawing huge dot-and-dash lines where she’s creating a new Canadian/Alaskan border. I understand they’ve claimed many square miles of land already in the Yukon while the border crossing guy was asleep. You can see it on google Earth, I believe.

The 3-Legged Man September 2, 2008 at 11:47 pm

Did anyone vet Lieberman when he was on the Dem ticket? Heads should roll for that one. No forgiveness, no forgetness (or whatever the word would be).

FlakJack September 2, 2008 at 11:47 pm

I’m pretty sure every Connecticutian (is that a word?) that ever voted for Joe Lieberman should, by all rights, be kicked in the crotch over and over again until they vomit blood for what they’ve done.

Monsieur Grumpe September 2, 2008 at 11:49 pm

[re=80700]knitgrrl[/re]:
I played a few gigs with Vagina Blood Farts. Didn’t last long.

Smoke Filled Roommate September 2, 2008 at 11:52 pm

[re=80701]PeteJayhawk v2.0[/re]:
I’m sorry for my cynical remarks. I am completely Pro-Choice and atheist. I myself have had the unfortunate experience of electing to have an abortion about 10 years ago. (I’ll be 36 tomorrow). I was not financially stable enough to raise a child at that time, and that fact weighed heavily on my decision. I would have had to seek government assistance to raise my child, which I did not want to do. I do not speak to my family, so no help there.

Sorry for joking around about a truly serious issue (honestly).

Tito Puente September 2, 2008 at 11:54 pm

[re=80618]VivaLaCynthia[/re]:
It’s pretty much see it as a prequel to American Pie:
McCain= Stifler
Lieberman= The Jewish-ish guy who banged Stifler’s Mom
Cindy McCain= Stifler’s Mom

PeteJayhawk v2.0 September 3, 2008 at 12:01 am

[re=80718]Smoke Filled Roommate[/re]: No no no no, don’t apologize. I was just talking about how it went, for me personally, from an abstract political issue to something personal.

That said, I’ll be first in line to make tasteless jokes about it. But still, the thing that just infuriates me is the idea that pro-choice people are PRO-abortion. Nobody is pro-abortion…well, maybe abortion doctors. But even then, I bet most of them would trade their practice in a second for a world in which people don’t need to seek abortions.

iwillsavethispatient September 3, 2008 at 12:02 am

[re=80643]Keram2[/re]: My Grandfather didn’t fight along side Wilfred Owen in WWI so that I couldn’t quote his poetry in Wonkette.
Wow, this using-war-heroes-as-a-crutch thing is easy to get into. And it wouldn’t be so easy, if my grandfather hadn’t been building submarines to fight the Nazis in WWII!

thwanger September 3, 2008 at 12:03 am

[re=80718]Smoke Filled Roommate[/re]: sincerely, happy birthday. and i’m also sincerely proud of you and grateful to you for being so open with us here.

now, can we get back to some more snarkiness before i start crying? anyone find that video yet? i have to see it again because i could not believe my own eyes.

jagorev September 3, 2008 at 12:09 am

I’ve never even met PeteJayhawk’s sister, but I think we can all agree that the desire to punch Jonah Goldberg in his fucking douche face is one thing that unites all Americans. Amen.

kellygrrrl September 3, 2008 at 12:12 am
bc88 September 3, 2008 at 12:13 am

it’s true that yoda is younger and handsomer than joe lieberman, but that is only when he is in his true form as darth sidious. when he is dressed as chancellor\emperor\fraud senator from connecticut, he is much handsomer than yoda.

knitgrrl September 3, 2008 at 12:15 am

[re=80709]thwanger[/re]: It’ll be perfect, my new band. Almost as good as the comic book I’m going to write.

TeddyS September 3, 2008 at 12:19 am

Republican conventioneers are all cheering because McCain is going to clean up Washington and Sarah Palin is a reformer. They can’t fill up the auditorium and they cannot fill in the missing blanks that Republicans are responsible for the Washington mess, debt, war, etc., in the first place and the corrupt Alaska politicians in Mooseland are and were also Republicans. Oh, well, let’s just build a Bridge to Wasilla with those $27 million in earmarks. Tomorrow belongs to the fat Tina Fey impersonator and you baby-killers will be sorry then, by God.

robotico September 3, 2008 at 12:46 am

Hi Smoke Filled – we’re happy you’re well and here.
Happy B-Day!

DogSniff September 3, 2008 at 1:06 am
jerryw September 3, 2008 at 1:23 am

Joe’s actually gotten much further than I thought he would without ALF,
you know, the part of the pair that ate pussy.

thwanger September 3, 2008 at 1:38 am

[re=80737]knitgrrl[/re]: wow. that’s fantastic. being someone who is slightly more… tolerant? than your superman who has no problem with all of that messy girl stuff ewww, i was reminded of the scene in ‘the real bettie page’ where bettie is about to get gang-raped and she thwarts them (well, kind of)) by saying she’s on her period and all the men go ‘ewwwww!’

isn’t that in a lou reed song? “and all the stupid men go ew, ew, ew ew, ew ew, ew ew ew, ew, ew ew…”

thwanger September 3, 2008 at 1:44 am
Red Writer September 3, 2008 at 2:11 am

Hi Smoke-filled and happy birthday!

I’ve been away from Wonkette for a while and am loving being back. All I can say about tonight’s RNC is Zzzzz…. Well, that and I want Joementum to give me half of my GOre/Lieberman 2000 vote back. Turncoat!

S.Luggo September 3, 2008 at 2:12 am

“Ich bin hier unterstützen John McCain, denn die Staaten mehr Fragen als Partei.”
Bite me.

DC Spring September 3, 2008 at 2:45 am

Not again, surely to dog. Ok, so after that maniacal weekend I resolve to get some fkn sleep for a change. Then the helicopter gunship convoys to Lang Lee wake me up. Again. At this hour. Why oh why did I get a house oppo the Enchanted Forest of the Commonwealth of Virginia??

What to do? Uhh, wonkifrenz! But now this. Joe’s anti-snarkitude kryptonite is a tough one but big ups all.

Feeling pretty teary and ozymandial right now.

Proceed to the seventh ring of hell, Enchanted Forest. Fk. “Commonwealth”?? We could dissect that a bit too.

S.Luggo September 3, 2008 at 2:52 am

[re=80471]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: Joe calls himself a Democrat because, among the New Haven insurance companies which fund his campaign with jizillions dollars, a plaintiff’s personal injury lawyer who is willing to settle for pennies on the buck is called a simpering pussy, i.e. a Democrat. A plaintiff’s lawyer who won’t is a narco-terrorist, pro-islamic, jihadist and, it is rumored, will soon find him/herself on the “no fly” list. Simple.
I joke because I care, or not.

S.Luggo September 3, 2008 at 3:08 am

[re=80785]DC Spring[/re]:
Wrong season, but
In Just
Spring
http://www.cs.rice.edu/~ssiyer/minstrels/poems/1636.html

DC Spring September 3, 2008 at 3:13 am

[re=80775]thwanger[/re]: We’ve been made redundant. Fk. It’s gone mainstream. Like Dana Milbank’s column in today’s WashPo. Might have gained from a bit of wonky perusal, but the ambient satire levels are so high I don’t know how to overtop it.

jbd September 3, 2008 at 9:32 am

Sleazy slimebag motherfucking motherfucker.

That is all.

jerryw September 3, 2008 at 10:26 am

[re=80686]KTHXBAI[/re]: And if it should happen to be a woman,
I’ll Cunilingulize (just made that up, kinda works) her until she
passes out. Being able to breathe through my ears makes this easy.

Anonymous September 3, 2008 at 10:34 am

[re=80719]Tito Puente[/re]: Does that leave Lindsay Graham to fuck the pie? Apple, of course!

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