Wonkette
We ran into YOUR president, George W. Bush, on the streets of St. Paul. He’s been arrested oh no! This is why he can’t appear in person to deliver his address — he’ll be getting bondage-whipped by this pink sexbot cop on the shores of the Mississippi river for the rest of his term. Also, we’ve gone through the official schedule of the night’s events and, shortly after 9:00 ET, there will be a video tribute to George “H.” W. Bush, the Yankee plutocrat everyone pretends to like these days. This comes right after the video tribute to Abraham Lincoln, whose presidency failed due to his lack of previous experience. *Just saying.* Also MICHELE BACHMANN is speaking within the hour. Tee hee!
Hey pink cop lady — I’m not gonna ask and I don’t wanna know. Just take him into the interrogation room and do what has to be done.
…anyone who saw Michelle Bachman and James Carville on Larry King last night got a preview of Biden vs. Palin debate.
OMG, Michele. You are my one, my only. I cannot wait for this moment.
Is anyone else listening to the convention? Or is it just me? NPR just cut away from the gal speaking on behalf of Students Aiding Indigent Families (btw, the acronym is SAIF, which is Arabic for “sword” and I think it’s great that young Republicans are all Islamofacist terrorists).
Oh another brave country singer going on about his controversial stand in favor of the pledge.
It’s Bachman! Yaaaay!
SayItWithWookies: …I got the jumper cables!
AnnieGetYourFun: You should get the visuals — she’s wearing a yellow sleeveless dress. It’s like another MILF brought out the competitive doller-upper in her.
…is that the outfit Condi wears during “Adult Time”?
The missing Bangladeshi daughter is sitting with Cindy!
Code Pink mostly strikes me as the offline chapter of MoveOn.org, but I think all would be forgiven for that lovely lady. In fact, I would be willing to pay a shiny new ten-spot to trade places with Dubya up there.
AnnieGetYourFun: I’m not, as I kind of swore it off, convinced that it couldn’t possibly be the trainwreck I was hoping for. The more I’m reading, though, it appears that Christmas came early and Santa had me on the good boys’ list.
“Government is not a philanthropic organization.” At least not while we’re in charge — we’re getting ours and getting out.
In case you’re not familiar with “Minnesota Nice” it’s where they won’t say anything negative to your face, then they’ll let every little thing build up until they snap and stick you in a wood chipper. True story.
SayItWithWookies: For the people, by the people… but they mean “our people”.
Was this cop hired by John McCain — that CODE PINK pin can be used as a weapon.
SayItWithWookies: God, I feel sorry for that child. Honestly. I’m sure a life with the McCains is better than a life in a Bangladeshi orphanage, but can you imagine being a brown girl in such a white family?
And while I will not tolerate pro-choice people trying to abolish abortion, I will give props to McCain (or Cindy, I guess) for being one of the few prominent anit-abortionists to actually adopt a child.
SayItWithWookies: Really? Sleeveless? God, that sexy, sexy bitch.
Hey, which Wonkette editor is at the Paultard convention?
I think if Cindy McCain were still physically capable, she’d be crying… it would probably be tears of pure Vicodin, but they’d be tears…
SayItWithWookies: i thought it was her room service maid from the hotel.
grendel: That’s what I thought it was — I’d heard other places described with X-nice before, and it was never complimentary.
Bachman’s speech sounded like an outtake from True Stories — especially with the montage of ranch houses on thick green lawns behind her.
Oh, I love how yellow dress woman would pause for the riotous applause - and be rewarded with the gently lullaby of crickets chirping and old people snoring.
Are the Republicans really going to spend the day showing how nice they are, because they’re rich and can afford to save babies from poorer nations? Way to relate to the average American!
A tribute to HW, and W disinvited. Thank you, RNC! I bet W is wetting the bed and sobbing “mommy, mommy” into his pillow.
AnnieGetYourFun: You’d be less admiring of her if you knew she made each one of them swallow a giant balloon of heroin before the trip to the USA.
grendel: stop. your killing me.
The gayest teddy roosevelt video ever is playing on msnbc coverage right now. It starts with his sartorial choices, naturally.
Is TR suddenly the new Reagan? Has anyone else noticed a drop-off in the number of Reagan references by the Repubs in the last couple of months? I guess Progressivism plays better than simple-minded libertarianism during a recession.
Still and all, TR would singlehandedly kick every current Republican politician’s ass.
White paternalistic people who adopt brown babies and young republicans who equate home ownership with the solution to poverty in Africa… the GOP convetion!
Teddy Roosevelt created the National Parks Service? So, that’d be governmental philanthropy, no?
Is Meadow from the Sopranos singing?
This horrible noise… is this the mythic “Christian rock”?
Do you think this singer got a pre-tan tan for her trip to Saint Paul?
SayItWithWookies: Wait, she spoke, already?
AnnieGetYourFun: And she was posing like the girls in the deodorant commercials too. All pits and crazy eyes.
echoman2000: Hey, she got her a job — that’s the American way.
Yes! Christian “rock” interlude! times to blog and do things that would make the Baby Jesus cry while he’s distracted!
WadISay: speaking of which, where in the fuck is BUG EYED BABS? seems she’s been on lock down since she went all ghetto on the nonwhites during katrina.
I swear this singer sounds like a cute snaggletoothed Chinese girl. Oh –
jagorev: As long as we’re talking a straight-up brawl, Teddy kicks every other American politician’s ass without much of a fight, except maybe for Grant.
As for the Reagan refs dropping off, Reaganism has been the basis for Repub politics for years, and Johnny WalNUTS! can’t look like a “reformer” if he’s portrayed as being in Reagan’s camp. Can’t say he’s against Reagan without looking like a total asshole, either. Ergo, the GOP talking heads just avoid mentioning it.
Anime cosplay is getting out of control.
I fucking have to hear Michelle speak tonight. Surely she will save the Republican Party.
AnnieGetYourFun: That’s just what I heard from Levi Johnston.
jagorev: I can’t make out a word. Either she can’t pronounce words when she sings, or Christian music just turns to Lorem ipsum when it hits my ears.
SayItWithWookies: Christian Rock….cuz the GOP is a Big Tent, but unless you like the tune, don’t bother to stay.
Such sensual and emotive music makes abstinence-only life hard.
Strictly for the Tardcore: You forgot Andrew Jackson, who fought 13 duels over his wife’s honor, and never called her a cunt, either.
shortsshortsshorts: pity. she spoke. the stage opened up and ate her. she’ll be breakfast sausage come morning.
Gopherit v2.0: Or as Jon Stewart said last week — “The Democrats love America. The Republicans love America too — they just hate half the people in it.”
Sounds like your Rachael Lampa and jeebus already hooked up. That second number was super sensual!
Gee, it’s amazing how many cute middle-aged blondes John McCain is there for.
Don’t snicker about the levees holding. God, what a bitch.
I thought Sarah Palin WASN’T coming to the cornvention today?!!
Joe Biden is right, she looks good in pink.
Text messaging 101
BUG EYES IS IN THE HOUSE!!!
jagorev: Okay, I’ll give you Jackson.
Strictly for the Tardcore: Teddy is an overrated creampuff… Abraham Lincoln has reach and toughness on him, and instead of being a scion of a wealthy family, he grew up a gay lumberjack in Illinois.
Oscar Folsom Cleveland: Better than Biden or Johnny? I don’t believe you.
What just happened? They introduced the Minneapolis fire chief, then Bush I walks in and everyone interrupts her to applaud Mr Wouldn’t-be-prudent?
The lezzer in the striped outfit is very well hung. I mean, look at the knuckles on those big hands. Ouch.
They’re proud of one-liner delivery? Oh my, they are scraping the bottom of the barrel.
grendel: I’ll grant you that Lincoln was a hard-ass, but no way was he as tough as Teddy “I’ve been shot and I’ll still give my speech before I even think about medical attention, bee-yotches” Roosevelt.
And no, I’m not comparing Ted’s bullet through a steel glasses case to Lincoln’s assassination wound, but come on, Lincoln would have gotten to a doctor if he’d had Ted’s injury.
On today’s DemocracyNow.org podcast Amy Goodman (arrested with several other journalists yesterday) said the guy from The New York Post shouted “But I’m from a REPUBLICAN newspaper” as he was handcuffed.
Why are the Republican fish thieves making me cry now? Why do republicans hate America?
LOL Everyone keeps breaking into slightly off kilter chants. It’s like I always imagined a wal-mart rally would be like!
I just someone who looked like George W. Bush on T.V. making an appearance
at some sort of convention, Any guesses who the gray haired, mentally challenged
guy might have been? I did notice there were no signs of pretzels in evidence.
http://boskolives.wordpress.com/2008/03/24/congradulations-mr-bush-mission-accomplished/
re Lincoln, you’re “just saying” President Obama will preside over a civil war where millions will die?
Reminds me of his cousin Odinga…