Besides her sudden disappearance from tonight’s RNC lineup, there are many other signs that Sarah Palin will be the first major-party veep nominee to drop off the ticket since George McGovern dumped Thomas Eagleton for being crazy, way back in 1972. What are the other chilling new signs of Snowbilly Loserdom?

  • Barack Obama hit 50% in national polls for the first time today, with the McCain-Palin ticket down to 42%.
  • The InTrade futures market is now offering bets on Palin dropping out.
  • Palin’s timeline for giving birth to “Trig” is absolutely bizarre, including long flights at 36 weeks, not going to a Texas hospital after her water broke, flying 10 hours back to Alaska, and then driving past a “premier neonatal unit” at a hospital near the Anchorage airport, etc.
  • We are getting about a thousand emails daily like this one: “Surely you have found out by now that Governor Palin not only fired an excellent Public Safety Commissioner as part of Troopergate, but in July she appointed a sexual harrasser, Chuck Kopp, as the replacement. Because he lied about it and she didn’t vet him properly, he stepped down after 10 days in the position and was given a $10,000.00 severance deal whereas the man who was fired without notice got nothing. All the documents and proof can be found in the Anchorage Daily News.”
  • McCain campaign manager Rick Davis, being interviewed by David Gregory on MSNBC, just screwed up and said, “Governor Failin, I mean Governor Palin.”
  • The McCain campaign is so insane over the Palin collapse that they’re lashing out at CNN for simply asking for a single example of Palin commanding the Alaska National Guard — they’re so furious, they pulled McCain off tonight’s Larry King show! (This actually means they just don’t want old Walnuts jabbering a bunch of contradictory bullshit on teevee tonight.)
  • HA HA HA HA HA the gal speaking right now just announced “Sarah Pawlenty as vice president.” This is what Jo Ann Davidson, Co-Chairman of the Republican National Committee, just said. Jesus! They’re backstage arguing about how to get Pawlenty on the ticket and she wanders out and says “Sarah Pawlenty.” Ha!
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  • ForTheTurnstiles

    Ferraro! Ferraro! Cunt! Trollop! Cunt!

  • ManchuCandidate

    You can’t spell Sarah Palin without PHAIL.

  • SayItWithWookies

    No, they have to stick with her. I’ve got a bet to win, dammit. The Republicans won’t betray my faith in their perseverance in the face of a mass backlash against their stupidity.

  • boomer

    McCain said “Governor Failin”, HA HA HA!

  • echoman2000

    i thought that was mccains mother. i mean, the same weird cheek thing.

  • Baiowulf

    Levi Johnston fer Prezidunt, 2032!

  • Jerk Cade
  • Strictly for the Tardcore

    As I just said on the other thread, Barry’s camp should just rearrange some names and tenses and release the exact same press release the GOP did after Barry introduced Biden.

    Wow, all this is leading me to believe that Johnny WalNUTS! has, in fact, jumped his own campaign over the shark. Do they really think that pulling WalNUTS! off of King is going to play well at all? Punishing one of the big 24-hr nets because your idiot spokesperson pulled the biggest flopsweat this year is going to look really childish.

  • soytrucknutz

    Don’t stop/Believin’….Don’t Stop [cut to black]

  • SpecialHorse

    Looks like we’ll get our dramatic convention after all.

  • Scarab

    New Topic: Palin’s Car Wash
    Hurry up with your comments only five minutes until the next controversy is unveiled.

  • ReverendGreen

    Hey I just saw 9/11 footage of the towers falling! Somebody check to see if Rudy Giuliani has a hard-on!

  • SayItWithWookies

    Hey, Pledge of Allegiance girl was cute. If she’s 18, I’m a hockey player.

  • Not_So_Much

    On Thursday, McCain will end his speech with, “My Friends, this last week has been a heckuva lot of fun. But seriously, enough of the tomfoolery — Lieberman was the choice from the beginning.”

  • echoman2000

    the stars are shining brighter tonight, the air is sweet with hope, and one big turd after another is being laid at the feet of those lucky chosen ones at the RNC. praise jeebus and pass the snowglobes. a universal round “on the house!” bottoms up!

    and for the first time in a million years (give or take 6,000) it’s not about teh geys. it’s Will & Grace on oxycotin meets Hee Haw on meth. the only thing better is if they’d wheel out ashcroft to sing that special song of his.

  • qwerty42

    She can’t be pulled because the base loves her, but the party officials must loathe this. Plus, she doesn’t seem to get that much love from the neocons. So, with paultards massing and crazy police-state stuff going on outside, I hope our Wonkette editors are in safe places when the Republicans start rioting. I’m guessing they have access to weapons.

  • Lamb Cannon

    Yay, i’m gettin a boner!

  • Texan Bulldoggette

    I always think of Good ‘n Plenty when I hear Pawlenty’s name. Leno thinks of polenta (however the heck you spell it)–is it good when your name is associated with food? In other news, BO to be on O’Reilly tonight. (Really, per Ben Smith.) Set up your Tivo.

  • Vanity Smurf

    Damnit, I want a sex tape!

  • Vanity Smurf

    Now the game show stage makes sense, they are going to bring out a wheel and spin again for the VP slot.

  • soytrucknutz

    [re=79801]SayItWithWookies[/re]: But are you a fucking redneck, and do you want kids?

  • Michael Bauser

    [re=79801]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Don’t worry about her age. The Republican Party plays by “Alaskan rules” now.

  • echoman2000

    this is what happens when the whole fucking country is HOME SCHOOLED.

  • Vanity Smurf

    [re=79809]qwerty42[/re]: Nobody in that party who has a degree from an accredited university wants Babycooter around at this point. Eventually some of the talking heads will snap. Notice that they can’t get any halfway credible Republicans to go on teevee and defend her, only people like Heather Wilson and Michelle Bachman.

  • Strictly for the Tardcore

    [re=79812]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: If Barry can get O’Reilly to admit defeat, even on a talking point or two, expect Obama to win the election at 101% of the popular vote.

    Never going to happen (at least, not without O’Reilly’s head catching on fire), but I can dream…

  • accidental_tourist

    OMG Briget McCain has a baby bump.

  • The Incomparable Tiny Valdez

    Everyone rent from Netflix the fab Todd Solandz movie Palindromes. Very apropos.

  • Vanity Smurf

    [re=79832]accidental_tourist[/re]: well, duh, she’s the black one.

  • echoman2000

    is this one of wacko”s that has her still born child in a jar somewhere for the kids to visit?

  • kellygrrrl

    so we don’t get to see Levi at the convention?,,20222979,00.html?xid=rss-topheadlines

  • echoman2000

    and why did cindy mccain bring her maid from the hotel to the convention?

  • qwerty42

    [re=79828]Vanity Smurf[/re]: Yeah, I’ve noticed and so have others. But then you have Phyllis Schlafly warning the McCain campaign. So the social conservatives are aware of it as well. I’ll guess our editors are hearing all kinds of crazy talk. And we thought Hillary-Obama was something. This might be the Republican Chicago ’68.

  • rocktonsammy

    Nuts should get Michelle Bachmann after Sarah gets fired, she wears the hoops, just like Sarah, but, shes seems really fucking nuts, I’m off so off hot older educated scumbag chicks thatt will do anal. the republican women will be worse than the men

  • loquaciousmusic
  • Gopherit v2.0

    [re=79841]Vanity Smurf[/re]: Is that why she’s not in the official family portrait, too?

  • Jingo

    Sarah Puh-lenty sounds like a pornstar name. Could the RNC co-chair have known her from a previous career? The name also reminds me of the James Bond girl, Plenty O’Toole. No doubt she looks good in a bikini like Lana Wood did, but I see Gov. Palin as more of a Plenty O’Fool with McCain as the evil Oldfinger.

  • boomer

    It should be noted that InTrade futures is also booking action on “2008.PRES.GIULIANI”.

  • Cape Clod

    Jeez, I though after Hopey’s speech last Thursday that the Republican Convention was just going to be a boring old dog turd. Little did I know it was going to be a huge, flaming, Elephant shit pile of hilarity!

  • Clancy_Pants

    Asked to comment on the controversy surrounding Governor Polenta, Senior Walnuts VP Vetter, Ms. Helen Keller, signed “What?”.

  • TJBeck

    The Sarah Pawlenty clip is already running on MSNBC.

    Does this mean Tim Pawlenty is Trig’s father?

  • llyn

    [re=79827]echoman2000[/re]: You misspelled HOME SCHOOLED. That should be ” home skooled.”

  • Borat

    Oh, it is starting here. I am watching on BBC Parliament right now which is like the lamer British of CSPAN. They have some kind of Arizona school principal speaking. It’s like he speech was written as if it was Katrina again. But its more like a hail storm

  • Wagamuffin


    I think we have to re-think the nomenclature. Before she exits the national stage.

    I am all for “chillbilly” over “snowbilly”.

    What say youse?

  • Divababe


    EWWW!!! NO way!

  • Wagamuffin

    Sarah Pawlenty.

    Pawlenty of what? Chutzpuh?

  • Delicious

    Governor Failin! I love it.

    Like that Def Leppard song:


  • Texan Bulldoggette

    [re=79812]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: That tool Ben Smith made me watch a few minutes of O’Reilly tonight for NO reason. He meant Thursday, not tonight. Now I have to go kill myself.

  • Delicious

    Orrin Hatch on MSNBC:

    “Have you ever run a small town? In some ways it’s tougher than running a big town.”

    The delusional rationalizing is breathtaking.

  • loquaciousmusic

    “It’s not far down to Wasilla
    At least it’s not for me

    And if the fare is right you can fly away
    Abortions, they ain’t free
    The Christians can do miracles
    Just you wait and see
    Believe in me…


    It’s not far to Presidential land
    No reason to pretend
    That if I’d told McCain about myself
    He’d just have picked a man
    But those Christians, they do miracles
    Just you wait and see
    Believe in me!

    Takes me away
    To where I’ve always dreamed I could be:
    Just McCain and the nuts to carry me
    And soon I will be vee pee…”

  • Lazy Media

    So, here’s the best of all possible scenarios: McCain’s team panics, dumps Palin, then decides they MUST pick another religious-conservative type who isn’t a Mormon or Jew, and announces that MIKE HUCKABEE (Yay!)is the VP nominee. And then Huckabee, who wasn’t consulted, tells them to go take a flying fuck at a rolling doughnut.

  • RuperttheBear

    GOD I can only masturbate SO MUCH!

  • rocktonsammy

    [re=79903]Wagamuffin[/re]: snowbilly

  • loquaciousmusic

    [re=79903]Wagamuffin[/re]: I’ve been thinking “‘Bergbunny,” as in “iceberg,” but if I have to explain it, I guess it sucks.

  • alaska

    Yeah, can you believe that Todd was in Wasilla yesterday and he was on a charted jet with Secret Service and they took Bristol’s babydaddy back with him on that chartered jet. Hey all you fundraiser and donaters McCain is spending your $$ real good.

  • scott_dog

    [re=79903]Wagamuffin[/re]: How about “Ditz who is in way over her head but is still too clueless to realize it”?

    I think it was one of the injun’s names from Dances with Wolves.

  • KittyKatMan

    Are they gonna lay out some dirt tracks at the convention so Levi can feel at home? or even a hockey ring.

  • Twinkletoes

    Anyone notice that Sarah Palin eloped back in the 1980s and had son Tractor or Tariff or whatever just 8 months later? Seems the shotguns in the Palin family are passed from one generation to another, for their weddings.

  • areyoukiddingme?

    Abort! ABORT!

  • areyoukiddingme?

    @ alaska HA! “Listen you little f*$&#in Redneck! You will SHAVE! and you WILL LOOSE THE MULLET!” Either that, or they are doing tequilla shots together.

    Seems equally likely to me.

  • populucious

    I confess some puzzlement about the mysterious Babygate timeline.

    If Palin covered up her daughter’s pregnancy by claiming Trig as her own, then is her daughter now pregnant AGAIN? Or is a different daughter preggers? Or are they going to steal some baby and claim that that baby is the teenager’s baby. If daughter has been out of school since November, that is, assuming she left the day she was inseminated, 10 months, which I understand is long enough to bake today’s modern infant.

    I’m so confused.

  • sezme

    [re=80152]Twinkletoes[/re]: Explanation: they believe in *abstinence*.

  • edgydrifter

    [re=80002]loquaciousmusic[/re]: Too Jew-y. Someone on here came up with Caribou Barbie, which I think is a splendid bon mot that captures her essence entirely. Babycooter makes me chuckle every time I read it.

    As a reference to rural Alaskans in general, I think “stupid backwoods stumpfuckers”, though not as succinct as X-billy, is more precise.

  • Brian Mac

    Godammit! We want to see the stadium floor sink! We want…


  • gliberal

    I’m not saying husband Todd has a bad hairpiece, but is that thing even dead yet? Better run over it again just to make sure.

  • Brian Mac

    Pardon… I meant “Goddammit!” Dang those d’s!

  • pixiestyx

    This is the greatest shitstorm. EVER. McCain dint do his homework (nor did anyone else, apparently) and Sarah is gettin a taste of the big world outside Alaska. And her total lack of judgement is the snarkfest’s great bounty…I can’t wait to see what else gets dredged up by the time I wake up tomorrow!

  • The Broodwich

    Step 1: Pay nice Alaskan boy to have unprotected sex with governor’s daughter
    Step 2: Nominate hilariously unqualified governor as VP for failed campaign
    Step 3: Wait for evil liberal homosexual media to talk about governor’s silly family and pregnant daughter
    Step 4: Have governor drop out of ticket citing unwanted attention to family, make her look victimized
    Step 5: Nominate REAL VP, Pawlenty, while PUMAs get their panties all up in a bunch about victimized woman in politics


  • Napkins

    By the rules, of the wacky fantasy, in which she lives her life, her own daughter has some explaining to do with GOD. Isn’t it statutory rape to have sex with someone under the age of 18?

  • Lascauxcaveman

    [re=80738]The Broodwich[/re]: Meh. I think you’re giving these people WAY too much credit. They know the American voter is basically stoopid, they pick a shiny new object to spruce up a lackluster ticket, they takes their chances.

    Absurd though it seems, it may yet work out for them. Depends on what else happens in the news; how well known the celebrity is that (shoots self/goes to rehab/gets dumped/leaves spouse/comes out of the closet) tomorrow.

  • Bramlet Abercrombie

    [re=79898]llyn[/re]: Home skoold

  • Upthruster

    [re=79903]Wagamuffin[/re]: Let’s call her Caribou Barbie.

  • Aurelio

    [re=79956]Lazy Media[/re]: WALNUTS will NEVER dump this chick. NEVERNEVERNEVER.

    Even if she turns out to be a lesbian transsexual dominatrix Jewess with a history of bank robbery, WALNUTS will keep her.

    How do I know this?

    Because John McCain would look like a PUSSY if he dumped her. And if there one thing John McCain is not, it is a man who wants to look like a PUSSY.

    The End.

  • begfor

    the girl will marry the guy? sounds like forced marriage to me!

    has she been asked?

  • slavojzizek

    Dammit–I was so looking forward to McCain and Larry King reminisce about the discovery of fire.

  • rtcp

    maybe not the area to post but two commnets on last nite’s speakers…Thompson “most unexperieced ever” Re: Obama…ummm…except for the guy they just featured on a video tribute, Lincoln.
    Thoughts of family kept McCain alive in POW camp….mmmm…just not the family that was in attedance last nite…he left them…(mother exception)….maybe thoughts of getting back together with the Florida flame..

  • AK Insomniac

    When this race is over, regardless of who wins, I will celebrate. I will celebrate with my shotgun in my backyard. It will be loaded with birdshot so when I fire it in the air I won’t be killed. And as I lay down my barrage I will shout, “BEST ELECTION EVAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR!”

    Because. This is. The best. Election. EVER.
    And no one is having more fun than ME
    (and Trig:

  • b9neglect

    Levi. yum

  • Srkchsr

    “Wasilla Gorilla” or The Gorilla from Wasilla, she’s a real piece of work.

  • cormorant

    Bwahhahaha With her mouth and his AZ criminal ties the
    ticket could sink faster than the RMS Titanic…

    all the while playin’ “Nearer, MY GOD!, to thee”

    Go O&B…take no prisoners.

  • Magginkat

    Grandpa McCain must be peeing his Depends!

    Jesus was a community organizer: the governor killed Him

  • beb

    Wow! Hahaha! This is so great. Have you guys looked at the polls? Those pollsters must be idiots because they show Palin kicking Obama’s ass. Hahaha! What are those pollsters thinking? Hahaha!?!

    Hey, when is this election over? I’m tired of these things. Hahaha! Palin thinks she’s popular because the pollsters say she is but we know better because she’s not the right person to be VP, Biden is. Wow, this is tiring.

  • nobutseriously

    I don’t think he’ll get rid of her – I think they’ll keep her. The day that they announced her nomination as the VP pick, he was quoted saying that he was a fast decision maker in general, and that sometimes he didn’t make the best choice, but that he was always willing to deal with the consequences. I am certain the the quote wasn’t in reference to his choice in a running-mate, but the fact that he made that statement as a general one, and while he was running for president sort of knocked me off my feet.

    Anyway, he may be willing to make bad decisions and face the consequences thereof, but we know we don’t have to, and so we don’t have to elect him!

  • rocktonsammy

    [re=79780]SayItWithWookies[/re]: McCain must now regret he didn’t nominate that Joe jew guy as VP.

  • gliberal

    She’s going down faster than a $2 hooker. Her knee pads are getting rug burns.

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