Wonkette
We’ve received hundreds of photos and Photoshops in the last few days about either Sarah Palin, Sarah Palin’s spawn, or comical people in the Twin Cities for the convention. Since your male associate editor rarely wakes before noon, he misses many of these, but he’ll try to post some of the better ones here. The above graphic, for example, is probably the best of the 20-30 different Juno knock-offs (or “knock-ups,” HAHAHA WHEE) currently killing time in our inbox.
Here’s the actual government building over which Sarah Palin presided only two years ago. It adjoins the Wasilla CHECK$ CA$HED chop shop and is a gunshot away from the local KFC/Taco Bell hybrid, or as Wasillans call it, “Grandma’s trailer.” For more comical shots of Wasilla we recommend this post on this fantastic Alaska blog that EVERYONE COOL IS READING NOW.
People love this “real picture” of Sarah Palin by the pool. Aren’t all pools in Alaska frozen because of the snow?
Thank you to Wonkette drunk operative “Hat trick” for this photo of some guy offering to suck cock in St. Paul.
Lastly, here’s a lovely picture of Sarah Palin in college, in Idaho! What a gal. Who gets skinnier after having five children? No one, which makes sense, because Sarah Palin has only had four children.
Borshcka baby! Borschka!
I don’t think the word “fail” properly describes Palin.
Why does her face in the college pic look exactly the same as when she was in a beauty pageant? Does she tease her hair and slather on makeup for every damn photo she takes? Or was she born like that, a little Jean-Benet look-alike (but brunette) fetus destined for many babies and a failed political career??
What is with that blowjob guy’s shirt? It’s like he decided to draw it in pencil first, then ignored tracing over it and left the original unused outline.
The Juneau/Juno thing was such an obvious line I figured there would be a ton of awful parodies, but the top one on this post is simply fantastic. Bravo.
God, but I loved the 1980s. The cinderblock dorm room and that hair brings back some memories.
I’m pretty sure that at the Miss Universe pageants, the US contestants don American Flag Bikinis and cowboy hats and boots during the “native costume” parade.
Ah, there was that “Juno” joke I was trying to think of last week. Shame I didn’t get to it.
If you squint really hard, and are very drunk, and your name is John McCain, I can see where you’d think the Wasilla City Hall looks like the White House.
Here’s mine (click the pic to expand): Madonna & Child.
“I may be broke, but I’m not flat broke.”
CivicHoliday: Whoever said she looks like the neighbor-lady from Married With Children was dead-on correct.
Her T-shirt reads “I may be broke but I’m not flat-chested.” Well, she just locked up the redneck, Mad Dog 20/20 drinking crowd. Walnuts should have announced her candidacy at Sturgis & entered HER in the Miss Buffalo Chips contest–election over.
Oh, her shirt says ‘flat busted’; I like ‘flat chested’ better. She still would have totally beat Cindy in the Miss Buffalo Chips contest.
Does that college T-shirt really say, “I may be broke, but I’m not flat-busted?” Seriously? Needs its own thread on the homepage.
“flat-busted”, not “flat-chested”
Please, please, let’s not harass the poor daughter. She hasn’t done a single one of us any wrong.
How is it Tuesday and I still haven’t seen a “Baby Mama” parody yet.
Especially with all the “she looks like Tina Fey!” talk (which is bullshit, she’s hot for a governor, but she’s no Tina Fey. She at least needs a scar.)
Bb.
Dang, that shirt doesn’t even make sense unless she’s referring to her chest. I stand by my first post!
The thing is is that 90% of Sarah Palin Pictures don’t need to be photoshopped to be highlarious.
I collected all of them right here and made my own You Tube with fun music.
Holy shit, I just looked at the Google map and realized I’ve been to Wasilla, at least twice in the early 1990’s. I didn’t stop in any PTA meetings, so no comments on her brownies.
What’s with the fuckin’ glasses you redneck priestess? Have they not invented Lasik-fuckin’-surgery up there in the frozen North, or is that some kind of liberal science shit that can’t be trusted?
it sunk in a bit with that last photo that she may well turn out to be so out of her depth that she doesn’t even REALIZE that she is out of her depth. At one point I would have said that about W. but even for him some of it was an act. at least she’s not flat busted.
Maureen Dowd’s column last week inspired me to make Sarah Palin the star of “Miss Congeniality”. I’m particularly proud of the tagiline “Untested. Unvetted. Unknown.”
This is an evangelical pool/sex party. While Britol is doing the minister in the vestry, Sarah’s popping away at those furry critters that are preventing Alaska from drilling its way to America’s energy freedom. Pelts: http://english.people.com.cn/200611/08/images/xin_20110307194298404924.jpg
How long ’till McCain tries to bag Bristol Palin? Oh yeah, first he’ll need to ride his VP in the Lincoln bedroom.
“I’m John McCain, and I endorse skirt-chasing!”
flat busted? WTF, whats that even mean? Freggin right wingers
shortsshortsshorts: You are so right about the blog links.
It appears as if McCain is about to learn a lesson Diablo Cody preached to a nation almost a year ago: Some doodles can’t be undid.
Hoo boy! How many 28 percenter boys have that bikini shot hidden under the mattress?
http://usera.imagecave.com/destonio/Destonio_FamValues.jpg
randomsausage: Those are ‘attitude’ glasses so that people don’t mistake her as all beauty and no brains. It isn’t often that I would suggest larger glasses . . .
You Mean That Shot By The Pool Isn’t Real?? Eff this, I have to vote for Obangbang now.
Hope never looked that good in a Bikini…
You don’t get a round mouth like that by eating square meals.
trophy(forparticipation)wife: you know I’m bored already. No new Sarah revelations for about 5 hours. What are those bozo investigative reporters doing up there in Alaska? Playing with their own fish-hooks or something?
Serolf Divad: dude you rigtht good.
you can’t have a fish picker from Texas
yup yup
So the second pic is where she earned so much of her executive experience? Did she pump the gas there too, or just run the register?
JadedDIssonance: Thought you wrote Ommegang. Must be that time.
Destonio: It’s a reverse cage match — one clown goes in, two clowns come out.
That fantastic alaska blog is indeed fantastic
Anagram for Sarah Palin: Las Piranha.
Just sayin’Spiro Agnew: You stole my Avatar. Find a new one, jerk.
You make Wasilla seem like a place totally devoid of civilization, but I look at this picture on the blog, and on the right I can see a Tarzhay.
Wasilla City Hall also doubles as a bikini car wash.
randomsausage: Ah, I am so bored as well. I am hoping that the locals are either willing to part with all their secrets and their photos for a month of moose jerky or that they start protecting their land like real Merikans. I can just imagine a stars and stripes bikini clad Auntie Uncle Sam on a ’snow-machine’, flying around with her riffle, taking shots at trespassers.
Guppy06: Targhetto, fantastic!
That bikini picture makes Kitty Harris look sane.
randomsausage: I agree. The press is being lazy. Everything that’s come to life so far has all be just sitting on the surface.
Where the hell is the sex tape? It could be of Sarah, Todd, Bristol, Willow, Track, Levi — any one or combination thereof will do.
Northern. Exposure.
PrairiePossum: And here I thought only Dracula Cunt and Michelle Bachman could do that.
The more I read, the more I am convinced that Palin HAS to stay on this ticket. She neutralizes the Repubs one semi-valid attack point, experience. She is so much of a liability and was obviously picked so quickly, that she should be the low-hanging fruit for the next couple of months.
If this baby-mama stuff can last until the end of the week, that gives the Republicans less than 2 months to lie low and not make fools of themselves. With blood in the water, the press is looking for contraversy in the the great white north, and I think there will at least be one or two more hot personal issues that the GILF will have to take on.
If Hopey can do his thing, push the issues and give a few great speeches, and he and Biden can crush the ticket in debates, I think McCain/Palin will slowly implode.
New McCain/Failin Campaign Logo:
Vanity Smurf:
I thought about this the other day, it is only a matter of time before some democrat ex-lover decides that he can make a couple of hundred thousand and get his pick into office. A hot, young conservative girl like that is bound to have done some nasty things on camera in the past, I guarantee we’ll see boobygate/gangbanggate/barnyardgate in the next 2 months.
Nice job on “Juneau,” but WTF is with “As-yet-unknown Babydaddy?” There’s nothing “unknown” about it. Clearly, it’s Daddy Yankee’s kid, ‘coz he’s been rockin’ it for McCain as long as Bristle’s been knockin’ boots. Coinkydink? I think not. Which also explains Trig’s … um… mental challenges. Like father, like son.
Yes, I can be cruel. But only because my nation picks one Canuckistani to perform that function. It’s my turn until somebody meaner comes along. Don’t hold your breath waiting for a changing of the guard.
From today’s WaPo’s, The Trail, Sarah Palin, Shooting Star:
McCain saw himself in Sarah Palin, his advisers claim.
Bwahahaha, got that right.
WadISay: That’s truth in advertising I can believe in.
I was going to email this photo to Wonkette, but I’ll post it here instead. More pics of snowbilly land, and the source of that “City Hall” shot. My favorite is the movie theater sign:
http://mudflats.wordpress.com/2008/09/01/a-photo-safari-of-wasilla-alaska-home-of-sarah-palin/valley-511/
WadISay: That should endear himself to the American people, because part of the American dream is banging chicks half your age.
Sit down everyone, but it appears that BP is NOT THE FIRST GIRL
THAT LEVI knocked up. A blogger from Sarah’s hometown in Alaska
says that it’s common knowledge that he got a girl preggo
in the 8th grade. No word yet if he married her or is
now paying child support.
“Bristol Palin IS pregnant?
Posted by Molly on September 1st, 2008 filed in Politics
Looks that way. Also, I guess this isn’t breaking news. Nobody bothered to ask any of the other highschool students in Wasilla, because apparently it was common knowledge. What might not be common knowledge is that the dad got another girl pregnant in the 8th grade… iiiiinteresting. That’s good ol’ abstinence only education working hard! I guess having grown up in Wasilla is finally paying off with some good goss.
Now that it’s out in the open, hopefully people leave the kid alone. I wish her the best. At least her family is being supportive, which is more than a lot of teen mothers have on their side.”
http://theadventuresofsuperwife.com/
Guppy06: It’s not a Target store. There are none in Alaska and they are deprived of the Go International lines. Perhaps it is an actual target meant to prevent the young men from taking pot shots at the street signs.
WadISay: Saw, fantasized, same dif…
tunamelt: I “see myself” in Carmen Electra, but that’s just me.
Vanity Smurf: You mean Dirk Yates hasn’t gotten his mitts on Track? He would so be my hero…
I know it’s a special kind of story when I can come to Wonkette for my usual Something Awful Photoshop Phriday goodness on a Tuesday.
On the plus side, this has got my lifelong Republican mom out trying to convince her neighbors that Obama is not a secret Muslim and that they really should vote for him over this trainwreck.
The guy with the bj t-shirt’s got it wrong. You’re supposed to lure them with YOUR cawk.
(And if you’re a scary-looking Negro packing the stereotypically-required equipment, retchuglicans will even give you $20; being a brigga, I usually command $10)
While you’ve got them, ahem, speechless, you proceed to give’em positive reinforcement (i.e. what they want) with Hopey’s oration in the background.
Subliminal messages to kill them by making them kind.
Welcome to my ministry!
If this shit lasts much longer, Obama is toast.
Woo hoo! Getting Sarah Palin drunk and into a bikini is as easy as shooting fish in a barrel… or I guess a dirty swimming pool in this case. Either way, she puts the VICE in Vice Presidential nominee!
Hey is the kid smoking a cigarette in the background 21? At least he’s got good taste in beer.
ColdCupofHope: Homeskillet.
Oh, so Palin’s a WOman? I thought I was jack’in to a guy’s pixxx
Is that a jug of “Anal Lube” on her college nightstand?
This is going to be fun, a political *meltdown*.
Will they just let her stay … like another Dan Quayle!
Or discredit her so badly that when McSame dumps her, he’s lauded for having good judgement!?!?
So what sides of their mouths are they talking out of now?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CTbsbeY5k5k
The bikini pic is clearly fake. If it were real she would be wearing the flag of the Republic of Alaska.
Vanity Smurf: If Todd’s in it, Sarah won’t be. please tell me he swings both ways, please.
RuperttheBear: Dear Mr. Bear, I’m delighted to see you here of all places. It’s a long way from Nutwood, isn’t it?
[signed]
a FaN
Does anybody know how much maternity leave a vice president gets? And how much for a surrogate pregnancy?
I can only extrapolate from Cheney’s leave, whose maternity was allowed under the MotherFucker sub clause.
All these new acronyms to learn! First there’s GILF. Then we got VPCILF. Then VPCDILF. Too bad it’s now VPCDILFBSABS
These photos show no naked Sarah Palin. Here is a naked Sarah Palin in American flag http://hosting.westernbid.info/images/uploads/dobermann/palin_poster.jpg
contact me at lanseralex@yahoo.com if you wanna buy a poster.