Wonkette
Here is the story of how John McCain picked his running mate: after Barack Obama selected Joe Biden instead of Hillary Clinton, McCain went on a six-day Nyquil bender and at the end of it slurred, “Get me one of them wimmins.” He had always had his heart set on another salty warmonger like himself: Joe Lieberman. But conservatives hated Joe Lieberman for being an abortionist, and there just wasn’t enough room on one ticket for such a terrifying abundance of old man cheeks.
McCain’s other reasonable options — Pawlenty and Romney — were too boring and sensible, so he just picked up the phone book and plucked a name out of the middle. “Sarah’s a gal’s name, right?” he asked, before prank calling Palin with a joke about a gorilla. And then she became his vice president, for 72 hours.
Advisers say conservative ire pushed McCain away from picking Lieberman [International Herald Tribune]
Joe has experience with the preznit campaigns… experience losing.
Well, once Palin withdraws her name, old Joe can step into the breech. Can you imagine such a couple of crabby old warmongering cooters on the same ticket?
Bro’s before Ho’s.
It’s a damn shame. They make such a cute couple.
God, he’ll make a great presodint!
Please let it be true–Vinegar Joe as a sloppy second is even better than VJ as first choice. Exploding heads of Jeebus-lovers in 3…2…1….
Rick Davis is doing a fantastic job for the McCain campaign, and Rove is a great American.
Today is opposite day.
Missing Alt-Text? You Complete Me.
All I can say is: thank God for little mercies. As screwed up as the Palin choice was, a McCain/Lieberman ticket would have caused me nausea all the way to November (and four years dark, nihilistic despair thereafter if they’d actually pulled it off).
I loved how WALNUTS! was grinning on Friday, just like your senile uncle that tells some horrible joke that only he understands. Oh WALNUTS! you really fucked up this time. Hahahahahaha!
Terry:
Well, once Palin withdraws her name, old Joe can step into the breech. Can you imagine such a couple of crabby old warmongering cooters on the same ticket?
Do you think Lieberman, Romney, or Pawlenty will want to the sloppy-second VP pick on a sinking ship? If and when Palin withdraws I think the McCain campaign will be at square one in picking a VP.
I had no idea Democratic moles had infiltrated the McCain campaign so successfully. It’s the only explanation for this complete clusterfuck. Nobody can be this incompetent and clueless by accident.
I said this on another thread, but WALNUTS! can’t replace Palin b/c the GOP never admits defeat. He’d be a flip-flopping defeatist. I mean, if Palin stays or goes we still win. It’s too late, WALNUTS! It’s already over.
Liberman and McCain ticket will be unbeatable,sort of like Superman and Batman saving the country.
I am disappointed that we are not able to experience the excitement of a Lieberman/Biden thriller of a debate.
Well, look, why pick the person you want, who is experienced and knows their way around, when you can make a pick that is nakedly calculated political theater? Besides, the most important thing to the republicans, since the first days of the Reagan travesty, is to NOT piss off the telebangelicals, or the Nazi wing of the GOP…at ALL costs! No wonder the dems keep losing. Picking qualified people is obviously the wrong strategy in America. Can you have a beer with the person, can your son knock up their daughter, are they cranky old gradfather figures? These are the important qualities we are looking for in leaders! U-S-A, U-S-A…
Sorry, couldn’t resist.
http://www.spielerfrau.com/sarah-palin.jpg
Scarab: I still think Mittens will take the job, but he will make WALNUTS! beg him to do it.
Could I humbly suggest that tomorrow, instead of pink, that Wonkette experiment with a background that flashes on and off 10 times a second, just to see if it induces seizures?
Oh, and please let it be Joe Lieb in Round Two.
Right now the McCain camp are looking for an articulate, clean cut person of color to be ready at a moment’s notice.
Holy Joe is frequently off-color. Will that do?
Scarab: Lieberman will take it since he is a man without a party and he and Walnuts are soulmates. Mittens and Pawlenty would not want to waste their fine heads of Republican hair (they do have nice hair) on a losing ticket and are probably justly insulted and offended that Palin’s ovaries were picked over their experience. I can imagine Pawlenty saying right now “but my only sex scandal was that my wife would rather go fishing than have sex with me!”
…yeah, but does Joe Lieberman have an ass like Sara Palin?!
Also, Lieberfuck chose to abort his Palestinian child.
Jobbotch:
Nice photo, it’s only missing the clear high heels.
Somewhere Katherine Harris is seething over what might have been.
SuperRounder: Mittens would take it. He’s such a desperate loser.
NoWireHangers: I couldn’t agree more. If he ditches Palin then the dems are free to attack his decision making abilities full force. If he keeps her on, we have to be polite and respectful of her redneck family, but she’ll still be there reminding everyone that McCain is dangerously insane and can’t even pick a moderately competent successor. I still think Palin will step down on her own accord later this week but that’s no consolation to a campaign that has virtually imploded in 4 days! They’ll never be able to rebuild.
ManchuCandidate: Caribou Barbie has experience with the beauty pageants… experience losing.
WhatTheHeck: Meanwhile, Alan Keyes is waiting by the phone.
Larry Fine: More like the comet’s heading directly towards Earth, and the only Justice Leaguers in the Watchtower are Green Arrow and Aquaman.
Scarab: This really would leave him with only one choice: George W. Bush.
NoWireHangers: …Palin has to make to the Debate with Joe Biden! I already worked out the rules for the drinking game!!!
…during the Vice Presidential debate, everytime Sara Palin says the following phrases take a drink:
-”U.S. Americans”
-”Such as South Africa and the Iraq”
-”Everywhere like such as”
-”Build up our future for us”
You folks misunderestimate Sarah Palin, and do so at your own peril.
Fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can’t get fooled again.
TheRealJimbo: Yeah & maybe they could put some of those disco balls on it where the reflecting light burns all retinas.
And if McCain does a VP II sequel, he’ll have to go all the way with white man boring. Actually, why doesn’t he nominate his prick spokesman Tucker Bounds–he’d be more qualified than Mother Sarah. And we’d the added benefit of seeing Campbell Brown taking his ass to the woodshed!
This whole static background thing is great. Reminds me of the interwebs circa 1997. Not enough “Under Construction” animated gifs, though.
Why is no one crediting Wonkette with the national fame of Governor Gidget. This was the only site that had even heard of her outside of her native Arctic. Vice-kingmaking at its finest. Too bad Holy Joe and the rest of the Nutmeg State got snubbed though–
vpilf! just say it out loud a few times, its a little awkward, but it feels good. kinda like yer mom!
Oh, he’s still going to be his VP. Just as soon as Sarah Miers steps off the ticket, even Lieberman will seem palatable to the GOP.
AngryBlakGuy:
Also, you have to drink for every reference to:
- sled dogs
- PTA meetings
- retarded children
- Levi Johnston’s Father of the Year award
NoWireHangers: I’m with you on McCain sticking with Palin. In addition, nobody wants the job anymore, which means if he picks a second choice, he’ll have to scrape deeper into the barrel.
Also, I’d like to say that I’m thrilled that our Wonkette is up to its ass in advertising, and hope the regular peanut gallery quits their bitching soon enough. I will, however, have a moment of silence for our lost Unisex Pinpoint Oxford Shirt girl, who seems to have passed unnoticed from these pages.
Am I the only one who thinks Sarah Palin looks like that neighbor woman from “Married with Children” in that 80’s glamour head shot thats floating around?
And here I was thinking that Mittens would be the comedy gold choice. Fucking Walnuts! has pure comedic genius.
J.Lie is still trying to persuade the GOP base
http://picasaweb.google.com/sanducerico/UntitledAlbum05/photo?authkey=P9I7s3lOxKk#5241432487481370434
…the human bolt of electricity that is Joe Lieberman will bring a spark to WALNUTS! lethargic campaign!!!
They will make the best Irish/Jewish duo since Stiller & Meara.
SwanSwanH: HEY! That is NOT fair!! The Sarahcuda has plenty of experience… like in national security. She’s, like, totally right next to Russia. And she totally runs the Alaska National Guard, which she’s totally in charge of if there’s an emergency in Alaska. So she’s got more experience than, well, anybody!
EIGHT AND A HALF MONTHS, SWAN!!
As a sidenote, can we give Campbell Brown her own talking head show? That’s the hardest ball anybody’s ever played at CNN since Jon Stewart killed Crossfire.
regisgoat: What is even more surprising is that NPR is reporting that McCain used The Google to vet Palin and STILL didn’t stumble upon this place.
SayItWithWookies: And Slim Slack Chick. Man, do I miss her.
dave666: Holy shit.
AngryBlakGuy: With a Leiberman VP pick you can have a whole new drinking game.
Take a drink everytime any one of these things are mentioned:
1. National Security.
2. BiPartisanism (what Joe calls his special brand of turn-coat bullshit)
3. 100 year war.
4. The Military.
And, as a bonus if Leiberman mentions his Jewish faith even once in passing, you get to chug a whole bottle of Thunderbird as fast as you can. PLEASE NOTE: Casual mentions of his wife Hadassa do not count as a Jewish reference.
Lieberman is despised by party regulars on both sides of the aisle and most sentient independents. This speech tonight is his swan song. Next year, Dems won’t need him and Republicans won’t embrace him, surmising he only switched teams ’cause he lost his power. I’m not a hopey lover but the thought of this vainglorious cock as our Sec. of State is reason enough to vote Dem.
SayItWithWookies: It’ll be Huckabee. If Palin takes a dump on this one, it’ll be Huckabee. He’s shameless, has no pride at all, nothing else to do except eat Taco Bell, and he hasn’t even been vetted (a plus for the McCain people).
And Ron Paul stayed flat.
Joe Lieberman is the Tevye of politicians - there is not an ideal or principle he won’t sell out so long as Jewish tradition and interests are protected.
Scarab:
Good point. Also, Vinegar Joe is much more powerful in Congress than he’d be as VP. He’ll be in a better position to represent his constituency, the people of Connecticut, too.
From the National Enquirer (don’t yell at me, I just visited their site this one time for this):
“The ENQUIRER has also learned that Palin’s family is embroiled in a vicious war that is now exposing her darkest secrets, threatening to destroy her political career. Palin’s ongoing war with her ex brother-in-law Mike Wooten, a state trooper, has caused multiple sources to come forward with shocking allegations about the governor. Details of those allegations, the family feud, and Palin’s attempt to cover up her teen daughter’s pregnancy are in the new issue of The ENQUIRER.”
I cannot wait. (Although now I guess I have to go to the grocery store at midnight. With a bag on my head. To … you know … to buy the … whatever, you can figure it out.)
Sarah, please don’t go. My hope is she’ll use her convention speech to reinforce her traditional family values and give her wayward daughter a public bare ass spanking.
“Sarah” by Jefferson Starship:
Go now,
Dont look back we’ve drawn the line,
Move on,
Its no good to go back in time,
I’ll never find another girl like you,
For happy endings it takes two,
With fire and ice,
A dream won’t come true
Sarah, Sarah,
Storms are brewing in your eyes,
Sarah,Sarah,
No time is a good time for goodbye
I for one am just as glad that I don’t have to spend the next two months seeing McCain looking at Lieberman’s ass and fiddling with his ring finger.
I have to wear sunglasses to read this. Even the guy in the ad is covering his eyes.
The pic is like G-rated version of Lemonparty.net.
greatgooglymoogly: Trudging across the tundra… mile after mile… trudging across the tundra… right down to the parish of St Alphonso…
“Palin had no strong advocates in the group, an outside adviser said, but she had no detractors, either.”
There’s a ringing endorsement if I’ve ever heard one…
Oh, I just figured it out: Todd Palin gave his kid that extra middle name, “Van,” because his last name rhymes with Van Halen.
Trig Van Palin. Get it?
Who you callin’ “fuckin’ redneck?”
Does anyone else have a strange, uncontrollable urge to see “Choke”? I can’t explain why, but I really want to see it.
obfuscator: Everyone was pretty much apathetic about her, which is always better than outright hatred.
SwanSwanH: Caribou Barbie. That’s also a good one. If Palin stays we still win. We could spend our days thinking of clever, horrible puns for her.
You know, the more I think about it, there was no suitable VP for WALNUTS! to pick. He just should have gone with the reanimated corpse of teh Gipper.
Palingate #165: Daily Kos is reporting Mayor Sarah tried to fire a librarian who wouldn’t ban books that Palin found offensive.
was this choice all to steal the thunder of the dems? oh i think this might be rove’s best plan ever!
ReelectTilden: Even worse: Cheney.
Man they might just stick with her because she is just a fat target for personal attacks … their daring Obama to fight dirty so they can play gotcha with their responses.
-0 federal experience (say he has no executive (Neither does McCain though))
-family is a anti-poster child on why abstinence education fails (sex best form of entertainment in rural nowhere location) but if Obama attacks this they will go after him saying he disapproves of his dead mom.
-McCain’s Beauty queen addiction with his first wife, second wife and VP (now Obama is attacking on celebrity)
-Alaska Independence Party (Obama’s ex-pastor / ex-church)
I wish I could share the solution removing to the horrible background ad with all of you, but I do not want to displease our Wonkette overlords.
If we all agree to go see the movie, will you get rid of it?
If we were still on gawker, you could pay a lifehacker nerd to do it.
HopeNutz:
Worse than Cheney? Tom DeLay.
tunamelt:
“I want my friend Joey to be Vice President when we nuke Iranistan! We’ve been workshopping pithy one-liners and 60’s pop song parodies or months now!”
“But Senator, you know that the Agents of Intolerance aren’t havin’ it!”
“Awwwwww, shucks!”
It’s nice to know that the Straight Talking Maverick of Independence & Straight Talking that America fell in love with in 2000 is still alive & kickin’!
Seriously, this decision makes McCain look like a cynical punk bitch hack politician of the hightest order.
NoWireHangers: “Mittens would take it. He’s such a desperate loser.”
Your right. He’s also got no other options. He’s washed up in Massachusetts so he’s not going to run for Senate so he’s got no power base to operate from. Even if he loses as McCain’s VP, he will still be able to mount a campaign in 2012 based on the idea that they could have won but no one would listen to him.
Walter Sobchak:
Simply pull in your view horizontally. A little pink is still there
but it’s much more tolerable.
NoWireHangers: how many times do i have to tell you: ALAN KEYES IS RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT!!! HE DON’T NEED NO VP POSITION!!! sheesh!
http://www.alankeyes.com/
Would it be wrong to ask God for a wardrobe malfunction on Wednesday night?
AngryBlakGuy: Damn you! Now I have “Old Man Ass” visuals!
NoWireHangers: Can’t claim it… merely endorsing it as her Official Wonkette Nickname (TM).
I also can’t take credit for future (shotgun) son-in-law Levi Johnston’s moniker, “Fuckin’ Redneck,” which is the one I really wish I’d thought of.
Cape Clod: This is all a part of God’s plan to elect Romney.
SpecialHorse:
Chuck Pahlaniuk connection + scantily-clad hotties = Good stuff.
Repulsicants paid for this ad, right? Cos they are choking BIG TIME. If Walnuts gets Liebs, Repub image consultants can keep this pepto dismal ad.
SURGE, SURGE, SURGE. DRILL, DRILL, DRILL. Soon it will be PALIN, PALIN, PALIN. Dude is sticking with her.
spencer: Walnuts! is “Scots-Irish” I believe…fortunately we Irish don’t take the full blame for this one…
Scarab: If the republicans can pray for rain, surely we can pray for nipples.
spencer: thanks a LOT! that fucking godaweful song is gonna be in my head for the rest of the day!!! grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
From Forbes magazine:
The online prediction market Intrade sees an 12 percent chance Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin will be withdrawn as the Republican vice presidential nominee before the U.S. presidential election on Nov. 4.
12 percent already? What will it be by the end of the week?
SayItWithWookies:
The Unisex Pinpoint Oxford Shirt girl may have decided that the thrill of having so many eyeballs watch her have unisex with herself was no longer enough. She is seeking a threesome with an teenage unwed mother and a caribou.
Exactly right regarding ads. A movie distributor spending top dollar (or at least some dollars) on a big-ass ad is good news for Wonkette and all their minions.
How bout this for a possible curveball…VP Nom Dr. Saint Ron Paul…get it…St. Paul…in St. Paul!!!!
Way down in the comments of this article is a long post from a concerned citizen of Wasilla who has known Sarah for years. She basically rips her a new one with buckets of fresh dirt and accusations. No way did any vetters go up there and talk to the locals.
http://www.washingtonindependent.com/3671/the-reform-candidate
Barring a disclosure revealing something outright criminal or lurid, she ain’t going anywhere. That would mean that McCain biffed when he had to make the most important decision of his presidential campaign. Bloodsprite is right. Outside of the Daily Kos echo chamber, she’s playing fine with the great unwashed masses.
ForTheTurnstiles: Huckabee was also Commander in Chief of the Arkansas National Guard, which would so kick the ass of those nosepickers in Alaska.
Ross Perot is still available. McCain and Perot could become the Cranky Old Men ticket.
No one is asking the all important question here.
What does Ron Paul think?
Delicious: She just lawyered up in regards to the Troopergate thing, so maybe…
Um, hi, your website looks like shit with that Choke ad all over it…
The National Enquirer is making you MSM reporters look like a bunch of pussies!
“The ENQUIRER has also learned that Palin’s family is embroiled in a vicious war that is now exposing her darkest secrets, threatening to destroy her political career.
Palin’s ongoing war with her ex brother-in-law Mike Wooten, a state trooper, has caused multiple sources to come forward with shocking allegations about the governor.
Details of those allegations, the family feud, and Palin’s attempt to cover up her teen daughter’s pregnancy are in the new issue of The ENQUIRER.”
obfuscator:
The “nobody in favor, nobody against” was less than half the group of advisors. The rest of them were in the “who the hell is Sarah Palin” camp.
Monsieur Grumpe: Yeah, I actually wrote a script that removes it and replaces it with the tan color. But you have to geek out a little to get it installed, and I don’t want to anger the gods by describing the process. I hope for everyone else’s sake it goes away soon, it looks like Bristol Palin’s myspace had a fight with her placenta in here.
Well, even if she were to drop out, we can still take comfort in her directing the defense of Alaska against the Ruskies.
S.Luggo: Ross Perot is still alive? He would certainly win the sexy lady vote.
Hmmm…that photo’s alt text should say “Why can’t I quit you?” Then show a picture of 4 feet sticking out of a tent.
dave666: DEFINITELY! Marcy Rhoades D’arcy all the way:
http://www.bundyology.com/hpg/zz104.jpg
HIROHITO99: Shouldn’t that be a bottle of Manischewitz?
http://mudflats.wordpress.com/2008/09/01/a-photo-safari-of-wasilla-alaska-home-of-sarah-palin/city-hall/
Delicious:
she’s playing fine with the great unwashed masses
I’m not so sure, the AIP story is just now hitting the MSM. That is pretty damaging.
I see this as the best of both worlds for the Dems. McCain can choose ‘Death by a Thousand Cuts’ as more and more Palin stories come out or he can choose to replace her and bite the ‘Bad Judgement’ bullet. Either way the wheels are off the convention.
whatever_dc: I love that picture. It looks like he’s harnessing TEH CRAZY in the palm of his hand. Man, wonder what his debt numbers are up to these days…
@scarab: yes i’m willing to believe joementum is indeed that desperate.
The photo screams for the caption “Kiss me you fool”.
But, which one is saying it? Or maybe screaming it?
No Gayz like old Gayz, and they don’t get much older.
Vinegar as in douche?
dave666: NoWireHangers:
Start printing those “No Ma’am!” shirts now.
http://perezhilton.com/2008-09-02-what-did-her-mom-do-wrong
here’s the Enquirer link:
http://www.nationalenquirer.com/sarah_palin_at_war_with_her_daughter_over_pregnancy_wedding/celebrity/65370
Hey, they scooped the world on Rush/Oxycontin and Edwards’ love child…
“Fuck it, the woman!” followed by a belt of scotch is my favorite vetting strategy ever. I just wonder if elephants, clowns, trapeze artists, and Gunther Gebel-Williams will lead Palin to the podium for her speech tomorrow.
http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/
Well of course, who doesn’t “want” Joe Lieberman. The jowls present unlimited opportunity for carnal pleasure…
SayItWithWookies: If by “un-noticed you mean that
guys have stopped masturbating to it, you might be correct. And that’s
a floppy “might be”. Speaking from observation, of course.
Scarab: Holy shit! That’s right, Kitty is still out of a job. A fine pick when Sarah packs up the RV with the kids, caraboo jerky and the jerk (aka “Todd”) and heads northward. Deer on the Naval Observatory grounds are currently shaking re the Wallisa Hillbilles for four years.
Miller: No, it’s better than that. Sam Brownback.
JEEBUS all of you are posting links to other shit who can keep up with such debauchery?
Another drinking game, during the acceptance speech:
every time McOldfart starts a sentence with “My friends”
every time you hear FIVE AND A HALF YEARS
every time you consider moving to Canada
I guess that’s enough to put you under the table.
http://boskolives.wordpress.com/2008/08/13/john-mccain-a-spiritual-guide-to-john-edwards/
You have to feel sorry for little Bristol. You’re born into a wing-nut family, taught abstinence-only contraception, home schooled, then you get knocked-up, drop out of school to “hide your shame” and then your mom puts your story on the front-page of every tabloid and gossip-blog in the country because she somehow thinks she’s qualified to be/has a shot to be Vice President of the U.S.A., then you’re forced to shotgun marry your semi-retard boyfriend on national teevee…
That’s gotta suck.
shortsshortsshorts: mine is sarah palin’s daughter posing with alcohol on perez. wonder if it’s before or during her preggers phase?
If he’s really a maverick, he should get his friend Joe Biden to run as his veep. It would be worth his to watch Biden debate himself on live TV.
NoWireHangers: wait, homeschool and drop out don’t fit. whatever, i was blind with confusion. bottom line is WALNUTS! is fucked…
Bitchez, suck it up and gaze at the (awful) pink background and ads. Wonkette has to pay the bills for all this lavish convention coverage somehow. Freedom isn’t free.
Gore-Cheney 08!
The Incomparable Tiny Valdez: Wow… everyone should read that… She said it could be copied and shared. I think Wonkette should reprint that letter word for word to get the information out…
The Incomparable Tiny Valdez: Here’s a more direct link to what I’m pretty sure you were trying to point out. And wow. This sounds like a woman who knows what’s what in Wasilla. I’d love to hear more about Palin taking Wasilla from financially solid to millions in debt, all to build a sports complex on land with debatable title.
http://disqus.com/people/a729da2a2292152d75de24c828088960/
i guess Obama-Cheney would be more of a direct equivalent…
NoWireHangers: If you’re homeschooled, do you have to run away from home to drop out?
Walter Sobchak: Nah, it’s a lot easier than that to get rid of it.
tunamelt: Oooh, if it’s during the pregnancy (b/c odds are she didn’t KNOW she was pregnant immediately and continued to party until after 2 mos when she didn’t get her period) then maybe VP Palin will have 2 special needs infants on her hands. Did they teach you about Fetal Alcohol Syndrome in your abstinence class, Bristol?
NoWireHangers: i saw him once at a live taping of politically incorrect here in DC and al frankin was another guest and alan was talking about UFOs or something and bill mahar asked al if he wanted to jump in and al just laughed and said something like “nothing needed from me” since keyes was digging his own grave all by hisself! it was hysterical!
grendel: I thought of that but then I decided to go with Thunderbird in honor of Sarah.
jerryw: every time McOldfart starts a sentence with “My friends”
we’ll all be hammered by the fourth paragraph!!!
Has anyone photoshopped a Bristol-Juno thing yet?
tunamelt: When she turns 18 I will comment further.
stew: I hate to say it, but the “hours after” thing makes you question the Enquirer’s veracity. According to lots of media, the pregnancy was well known in BFE Alaska and I think that I saw somewhere, there’s like eighty reporters in that small town. Sure, it sounds like some of mainstream media was willing to keep the story close to the vest, but with the clockwise spin of Sarah’s nomination going down the drain, I’m sure somebody else would’ve put it out there long before the Enquirer went to press.
The Incomparable Tiny Valdez: Wow, this chick really is a bag of douche. Everytime I find out something new about her, my asshole cleches just a little tighter…
This especially caught my eye: “When questioned by the Anchorage Daily News at the time, Palin refused to give details on how Stambaugh had not supported her, saying only: ”You know in your heart when someone is supportive of you.””
She looked into his eyes and saw a K., a B., and a G…
who drew the line when she “tried to fire our highly respected City Librarian because the Librarian refused to consider removing from the library some books that Sarah wanted removed.”
Scarab: well you gotta be careful about what’s in the library, you wouldn’t want the kiddies to be exposed to anything that might encourage them to experiment with sex or anything like that. right?
If you’re in politics, the words you don’t want to hear are:
“It’s the National Enquirer on Line 1.”
Allah bless those ink-stained wretches.
Strictly for the Tardcore: …and I just looked into my own eyes and saw an idiot that can’t get his anagrams right.
Leaving the jokes to the rest of Wonkette today…
Cogito Ergo Bibo: Yeah - The librarian thing might help her with the religious nuts, but I don’t think it’ll help the ticket with the independents or be enough to override all of the harm from the other stories that this woman reported. Though, I do have to say that her unequivical “trig is Sarah’s baby” should at least put that rumor to rest.
grendel: She invited anyone to copy and forward, but asked that it not be put on a website. Too many nuts, she said, and that’s certainly true of Wonkette.
This is a quote from the article:
“One of McCain’s closest friends, Senator Lindsey Graham, Republican of South Carolina, weighed in as well, pushing so hard for Lieberman — McCain, Graham and Lieberman are longtime traveling companions — that he vexed some of the other advisers”
Is anybody thinking what I am thinking? The three gay amigos shall ride again.
How gay are three old white haired guys who are “traveling companions” and who are “pushing so hard” for each other? Thats not change we want to even think about in our nightmares.
The Incomparable Tiny Valdez: The way I read it, I think she meant that she didn’t want her contact info to be publicly posted, but would have no problem with reprints of her actual text.
Walter Sobchak: You can use ad block plus w/o much problem to achieve the same thing.
What’s the difference between Palin and John Edwards?
Palin: “I quit so I can spend more time with my eskimo”
Edwards: “I don’t quit so I don’t have to spend more time with my xchimo”
no posts since 11:39? i hope our editors didn’t get swept up and carted off by the ron paul revolution~
will it be inappropriate when Biden congratulates her on becoming a grandmilf at the ripe old age of 44? Didn’t Edwards pull this gag when he congratulated Cheney on his lesbian daughter’s gay-adoption of the invetro kid? On second thought, tell Mr. Biden to hold that thought.
OMG! Sarah has a “blog”.
http://sarahpalin.typepad.com/
Lieberman is reaching clear back into Arkansas for some of that Joementum. It will reach its crescendo when he plays the maracas in a Kitty Harris cover of Fleetwood Mac’s Sara on Thursday.
Never change. Never stop.
When you build your ice house,
Then call me home.
It’s so cold in Alaska.
The Neoskeptic: We need more posts. Or another Palin scandal revelation. Odds are the latter will come first.
The next BREAKING STORY will be that Walnuts’ “vetting” process is actually finding out who he’s going to ditch Cindy for.
Magister: I find it interesting how the letter turns the whole “she’s a maverick for tossing out the good old boys!” thing on its head. She may have ridden into town to shake things up, but the letter certainly seems to put it in terms of Palin merely wanting to create her own network, beholden to her. It has nothing to do with whether or not you are corrupt; you’re simply with her or against her. Down to the poor librarian.
Still want to hear more about this sports complex that she insisted on building, despite it putting Wasilla millions in debt.
The Incomparable Tiny Valdez: But to help with the foreign stuff, they made me some really great flashcards about friend VS. enemy countries. The pictures of animals are the best part. Almost every country has a traditional animal mascot, a lot like sports teams.
Oh my fucking God, that’s hysterical.
if this is old news so be it but HOLY CRAP she has a blog
surely a hoax but then…http://sarahpalin.typepad.com/
Palin claims that she knew she’d done something right when she saw her son Track’s Jesus fish tattoo on his leg.
You can’t make this shit up.
http://mudflats.wordpress.com/2008/09/01/a-photo-safari-of-wasilla-alaska-home-of-sarah-palin/city-hall/
springfield_meltdown: Hey now, Palin wasn’t chosen because of her ovaries!
McCain was clearly checkin’ out her ta-tas on Friday. Just like the rest of America.
Ok, people, new meme:
The Gambler and Miss Kitty
Wonkette is becoming a hodge podge of people dumping their fucking blogs all over everyone else. It is time for the ban hammer to come down mercilessly on the masses.
(yes I know this isn’t all of you).
But the people who are: stop fucking posting your stupid blogs. They are sometimes funny, but mostly troll-like. kthnxbye.
upon further review… whoever did it is good zen like but no so subtle the 18th century line too hip
shortsshortsshorts: I’m keeping my powder dry for other ubiquities.
shortsshortsshorts: Nice rant. Have you seen my blog?
Vanity Smurf: This has been a sneak peak at MoDo’s next column.
The Incomparable Tiny Valdez: This has got to be — got to be — a hoax. Surely, it cannot … *gasp* … trying to fight … *gasp* … OH MY GOD SHE IS A COMPLETE NINNY!! WHAT A SILLY BIMBO!! AHH-HAHAHAHAHA!! I AM SO UNBELIEVABLY HAPPY!! *pant, pant, pant*
Okay, returning to normal. *Phew* Gotta be a hoax. Yeah. Definitely a hoax. (Hands and eyes clenched, whispering: “Please let this be real, Lord, please, please, please oh please … .”)
Cogito Ergo Bibo: It just so happens that my wife and I have been contemplating a move to another small town in Alaska and as I’ve been researching the towns in the area, I’ve discovered that there’s a shortage of public indoor pools, but lots of places have city-owned hockey rinks, where apparently Parks & Recreation also give plain-old ice skating lessons.
Without any other info besides the letter, I assume that Sarah pushed to have another of these facilities built and because they probably weren’t the only place building such things at the time, it’s kind of understandable why it wouldn’t be making a profit.
As for the whole “without a clear title” thing, I also have to wonder if that’s par for the course. Though there may be a whitewater-like backstory (and I wouldn’t be too terribly surprised), I’ve also run across a few examples of people encroaching on other people’s (or public) land because the place hasn’t been well-surveyed, so folks just assume that they know the property lines.
NoWireHangers: Palin’s got a crazy pastor too!!! http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/09/02/palins-church-may-have-sh_n_123205.html Who knew that voting for Kerry was what would have sealed the deal on me going to hell. If I knew that would be the deal killer, I would have done alot more fun things before hand!!!
shortsshortsshorts: Does repeatedly posting the Wonkette facebook group count as trolling?
V572625694: Outstando: If the blog plugs continue, I will throw my support behind Ron Paul and turn this place into a war zone.
Delicious: “…the best investigative journalism on the planet.” Kay MIB
McPain campaign’s new theme song — Toby Keith, “Should’ve Been a Cowboy.”
I bet you’ve never heard ole Marshall Dylan say
Miss Kitty have you ever thought of running away
Settling down would you marry me
If I ask you twice and beg you pretty please
She’d of said Yes in a New York minute
They never tied the knot
His heart wasn’t in it
He just stole a kiss as he road away
He never hung his hat up, at Kitty’s place
I shoulda been a cowboy
I shoulda learned to rope and ride
Wearing my six-shooter, riding my pony, on a cattle drive
Stealing young girl’s hearts
Just like Gene and Roy
Singing those campfire songs
Oh, I should’ve been a cowboy
I might of had a side kick with a funny name
Running wild through the hills chasing Jesse James
Ending up on the brink of danger
Riding shotgun for the Texas Rangers
Go west young man, haven’t you been told
California’s full of whisky, women and gold
Sleeping out all night beneath the desert stars
With a dream in my eye, and a prayer in my heart
Magister: It just seems odd that after 7 years (at least according to the letter, so in ye olde real world YMMV) there still is a question as to whether they were legally able to build the sports complex where they did. There could very well be a legitmate and reasonable argument as to why the issue was not resolved within all that time, but good golly it isn’t surprising that it’s draining the coffers.
Oooo! Jackpot! Wasilla Sports Complex website: http://www.cityofwasilla.com/index.aspx?page=114 No indoor pool, so if there really are a bunch of hockey and ice skating complexes already, well, yes; this doesn’t seem terribly necessary.
McCain black bastard be gettin’ white-washed.
Asked if the McCain campaign would have a comment about hiring one of the South Carolina strategists the senator and his 2000 campaign team once held responsible for smears against him, McCain 2008 spokesman Brian Rogers emailed, “No.”
http://blogs.abcnews.com/politicalpunch/2008/09/mccain-hires-go.html
Vanity Smurf:
McCain and Mrs. Driller??
Vanity Smurf:
McPain campaign’s new theme song — Toby Keith, “Should’ve Been a Cowboy.”
Um, not to rip on you but do you think anyone here is familiar with ANY of Toby Keith’s songs?
Scarab: Toby Keith? That’s the guy with the bandana and bling, right?
Scarab: Isn’t he the drunk gay guy that replaced the Scientology gay guy that “married” Nicole Kidman? Or what?
Larry Fine: More like Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy.
Yes, I watch Spongebob. No, I don’t have kids.
Cogito Ergo Bibo: The indoor soccer field and running track would probably set this facility apart from the others and I guess she might deserve some kudos for providing more indoor recreation, but damn that’s a wicked nice complex for a town of 6,000 which apparently didn’t have a sewage treatment plant until Mayor Palin secured a federal earmark.
“Palin Opposes Use of Birth Control Pills and Condoms, Even Among Married Couples”
SHE-POPE
Is there any evil in this world that is not connected to Sarah Palin?
SpecialHorse: Sam Rockwell is in it? I’ll pony up the dough.
Magister: Ah. The indoor track and soccer field would be an advantage, in that case. But seriously. I live in a city of 20,000 and we don’t have a place as nice as that!
I’m thinking the librarian angle is what will go national, next, though. Love to hear what books she wanted banned. Darwin? “Our Bodies, Ourselves”? “Where’d I Come From?”
Scarab: Fire a librarian? Ha!
mookworthjwilson: That does it. George Dumfuck Bush is the father of the baby she may or may not have had. That would explain the whole Texas thang.
“I’m a f - - -in’ redneck” who likes to snowboard and ride dirt bikes. “But I live to play hockey. I like to go camping and hang out with the boys, do some fishing, shoot some s- - - and just f - - -in’ chillin’ I guess.”
….
Hmmm, sounds like the Bush Dynasty is starting to look smart by comparison…
Teenage unwed mother in the family? I thought Obama was supposed to be like Britney Spears.
McCain/Flick 2008
Walter Sobchak: You could just shrink your browser window to around half size, large enough to see the articles/comments with none of the side borders. You don’t see the ad and Ken still gets paid. No browser extensions necessary.
Republicans would’ve thrown McCain *and* his slut friend, Libelman, under a bus. Instead of the GOP, McCain would’ve found himself in the OP. Or perhaps the OR.
masterdebater: And yet! They’ve been in charge for the past eight years because just enough retarded evangelical Nazis believe them.
Truth be told, McCain did not want Lieberman to be his VP based on experience, although he does like it when Joe whispers sweet geopolitical nuthins in his hairy ear. No, McCain is being pragmatic by having Lieberman so close. Lieberman is a tissue match for the potential president, so the next time there’s a cancer outbreak, Joe will be ready to donate his yards of extra jowl folds for McCain’s skin grafts.