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A CITY IN IMAGES

St. Paul, The Night Before The Jackass Convention

Last night, your Wonkette editors visited the city of St. Paul, in Minnesota. What a glorious City Of Lights! Ha ha, not really, it was empty except for cops and military people protecting John McCain Arena. We thought this was offensive — why are the cops and military people still here when there’s a hurricane in New Orleans? Racists. Let’s check out a few more pictures from this famous twin Minnesota city that locals know as “The Boring One.”

This restaurant, “The Saint Paul,” was not boring. See all that booze, on the shelves? We drank it all, no joke. They literally have no alcohol left to serve to their customers today. Then we charged it all to Ron Paul WITHOUT HIS PERMISSION, HEY-O.

Sara was reading a book in this nice park and we fucking pulled the best prank ever. We poured two buckets of HOT LIQUID BRONZE over her. Then she got stuck! Weird. She’s probably dead by now. Ha ha, sucka.

Hey there little fella, nice grass nose or whatever.


3:07 PM on Mon September 1 2008
By Jim Newell
3794 Views

  1. Shouldn’t the elephant be in a fucking canoe or something?

  2. ReverendJeffy says at 3:14 pm, September 1st, 2008

    Guys, visit the science museum. Really. I know it’s closed until September 12, but just go out front and sit on the triceratops statue, if it’s still there. I’ll cast my ballot for you, if you do it. Oh…. and go to dinky town. It’s kinda fun.

  3. ReverendJeffy says at 3:15 pm, September 1st, 2008

    columnv: Well, apparentally, the elephant should be in a plane shooting caribou or polar bears.

  4. kellygrrrl says at 3:15 pm, September 1st, 2008

    Will Barbie and Skipper be arriving soon?
    can’t wait to watch this spectacle!

    Hurricane MkKain 08

  5. Gimmeabreak says at 3:16 pm, September 1st, 2008

    What a disgraceful coverup. That poor little bronze girl is not Sara. It’s Lucy. Lucy Palin.

  6. Gregory_of_Nazianzus says at 3:22 pm, September 1st, 2008

    Gimmeabreak: Is she preggers, too?

  7. DoctorCulturae says at 3:23 pm, September 1st, 2008

    You can tell the elephant is a Republispigot by the wide stance.

    Also seeing the gop sign will make me sleep better tonight.

  8. schvitzatura says at 3:23 pm, September 1st, 2008

    A small topiary ยต-pachyderm of St. Paul versus the gargantuan blue ursus of Denver. No match.

    Spinal Tap Stonehenge issue for the GOP?

  9. echoman2000 says at 3:23 pm, September 1st, 2008

    Rove impregnants entire Palin family with alien space race (white, maybe slightly greenish grey space aliens, of course) while Cheney bombs Georgia and Iran.

    I know the press says it’s the weather keeping bush/cheney from the convention. the press has been saying for weeks they weren’t coming. how stupid do they think we are when, last week the press said they weren’t coming anyway and Cheney was going to Georgia to kill everybody?

  10. SayItWithWookies says at 3:24 pm, September 1st, 2008

    An elephant made entirely out of weed? No, this can’t be an explanation for the last eight years. If they’d been stoned the entire time, the Bushies would’ve made more peace and eaten more pizza. Maybe it’s datura or henbane or something mildly poisonous.

  11. loquaciousmusic says at 3:39 pm, September 1st, 2008

    Get down and dirty with Prince.

  12. Th-Th-That’s a wall of booze we CAN believe in.

  13. Oscar Folsom Cleveland says at 4:01 pm, September 1st, 2008

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/St._Paul,_Minnesota

    how adorable….”Pig’s Eye” went to all that trouble to post “GOP is the PIG” signs as a gracious way of orienting the six or so delegates expected to show up this week? I LOVE the curly tail on the GOPachyderm!!!

    As for the newly bronzed Sara, will you drive back to Washington with her hanging from your rear view mirror? Or is there now a new gender-equivalent complement to TruckNutz? Will there be a contest to name the new vehicle adornment?

  14. freppish says at 4:07 pm, September 1st, 2008

    you guys should try to go to chino latino, is such a good place, but its probably booked till october

  15. St. Paul has been fighting a losing battle with ennui for decades. It used to be the HQ of industry, railroads, lumber, full of the Irish. Now it’s largely a state government office park. However, The Saint Paul is one of the better Scotch, meat and potatoes places. Last time I ate there, they had to roll me out on a two-wheeler, like Hannibal Lector.

  16. Fun-filled says at 6:50 pm, September 1st, 2008

    Geez, say “hey” to Paul Westerburg at least.

  17. Outstando says at 1:45 pm, September 2nd, 2008

    If you blur your vision a little you can see Angry Blak Guy’s avatar in the lower left hand corner of that pic.

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