Wonkette Official Statement On Palin Pregnancy Rumors

  quaint scandals

Oh who the fuck cares.Wonkette Pregnancy Expert Sara K. Smith decrees that these whispers about Sarah Palin not being that baby’s mama are absurd, because everybody knows John Edwards is the mother of that baby. This supposed cover-up is also terrifically quaint compared to the actual crimes that Alaskan politicians commit every day: bribery, servant monkey commerce, more bribery, and of course the rape of our sacred English language. Plus didn’t everybody see The 40 Year Old Virgin? Hot grandmas are in. P.S. GODDAMMIT YOU ILLITERATE CRETINS IT IS “DOWN” SYNDROME, NOT “DOWN’S” SYNDROME. [Daily Kos]

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About the author

Sara K. Smith was Wonkette's morning editor from 2008 to 2010, and now contributes a weekly (?!) column to Wonkette, to prove she still loves you all!

View all articles by Sara K. Smith

Hola wonkerados.

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1 comment

  1. El Bombastico

    From Wikipedia, motherfucker:

    “Down syndrome, Down’s syndrome, or trisomy 21 is a chromosomal disorder caused…”

  2. El Bombastico

    [re=77145]MBSF[/re]: He’s HAMMERING the story; he’s really pathological. I give this two days before it bubbles up to the MSM. Oh, and screw the NIH:

    In 1975, the United States National Institutes of Health convened a conference to standardize the nomenclature of malformations. They recommended eliminating the possessive form: “The possessive use of an eponym should be discontinued, since the author neither had nor owned the disorder.”[59] Although both the possessive and non-possessive forms are used in the general population, Down syndrome is the accepted term among professionals in the USA, Canada and other countries; Down’s syndrome is still used in the United Kingdom and other areas.[60]

  3. stew

    Quaint? This is the Lifetime movie of all time: mommy/baby swapping, teen pregnancy, possible in-breeding, moose hunting! What more could a bored housewife want?

  4. Neilist

    Speaking of Mr. Sullivan, this line caught my eye:

    “I’m a long time reader of both the Corner and Andrew Sullivan’s blog.”

    A candidate for “Saddest Sentence in English”?

  5. Pop Socket

    Is John Edwards also the real father of Jamie Lynn Spears’ baby too? That guy has SuperSperm.

  6. smellyal8r

    [re=77155]stew[/re]: This is Desperate Housewives last season, no? With Bree covering for her pregnant daughter. And, why is that son leaving for military service. Voluntary? Hmmm…. family drama??

  7. Godless Liberal *

    How is Sara a pregnancy expert, hm? What are her credentials? Is she carrying a Wonkette baby whose father is yet unknown? Surely you are not implying she is fit to be a pregnancy expert just because she is a woman. Why, that would be positively Palinesque.

  8. Cogito Ergo Bibo

    [re=77163]Godless Liberal *[/re]: She was once near a pregnant woman. Her mother. Case closed.

  9. Delicious

    Wow, I just looked at the Daily Kos post. This is too absurd.

    But, if it is true, I will let out a Chris Matthews “HA!!!!”

  10. Vanity Smurf

    [re=77162]smellyal8r[/re]: Might explain how a 16 year old ends up with a Down Syndrome baby. That really is the only thing that could make this thing better. He’s my son, he’s my brother, he’s my son, he’s my brother, he’s my son AND he’s my brother. Wah!

    If Bristol doesn’t attempt suicide before this is all over I’ll be shocked. And of course it will all be our fault because we fucked her in the first place.

  11. smellyal8r

    The vetting team never thought to ask this question, in such a hurry they were. “Pulse rate, check; loves Jeebus, check; beat that a-hole Frank Murkowski, check…tell the boss it’s a go”

  12. Godless Liberal *

    [re=77168]Cogito Ergo Bibo[/re]: *completely mature comment implying I caused said mother’s pregnancy*

  13. The Incomparable Tiny Valdez

    I think by the time the world vets her, Mittens will be sworn in as veep on Thursday. Or President.

  14. The 3-Legged Man

    [re=77145]MBSF[/re]: The more I read, the more the idea that McCain might be elected scares the shit out of me. I don’t really give a fuck if this child is the grandson or was found in a reed basket on the Nile. It’s the part about McCain not even knowing Palin before picking her. It’s madness.

  15. el_burrito

    What we really need is a picture of Representative John Boehner of Ohio, the House Republican leader who is chairman of the convention. A Republican last name if I ever heard one.

  16. StrangelyBrown

    If she never mentioned Trig and whatever-the-hell Syndrome he has again in any of her stump speeches, and she starts answering questions on his birth with “it’s a private family matter”, then yes, I could agree with this position. Grandmothers are hot, and raising your daughter’s unplanned child as your own, no questions asked, is ultra-classy.

    But if she keeps talking about him in every goddamn speech, and using him to symbolize her rabid anti-abortion stance, and generally perpetrating this nineteenth-century fraud on the American people, then she is a total hypocrite who deserves the shitstorm she has coming.

    Seriously, what the fuck? Yes, the old switcheroo happens all the time — it happened in my own extended family. But what kind of asshole runs for Vice President of the United States at the same time that, and subjects her family — especially her poor daughter — to this kind of scrutiny?

  17. WadISay

    Yeah, and it should be ALIENS’ abduction, not alien, alien’s or any of that other, shit, OK? Glad you’re on this stuff.

  18. Cogito Ergo Bibo

    [re=77177]The 3-Legged Man[/re]: Completely agree. Basic vetting says that he should have at least known that her husband isn’t even a Republican, she supported the bridge to nowhere in 2006 and is under investigation back home. Without even discussing Babygate or possible buried reasons behind Track (snerk) joining the army, I’d be asking myself how in God’s name I could swear with a straight face that this was the best my party had to offer. Not gud.

  19. MISTAHCOUGHDROP

    What’s really really strange is I saw JUNO tonight! I loved that film. She made the right choice.

  20. Delicious

    Okay, I don’t believe it. To have this insane secret and accept the VP nod? A little Interwebs fun is all. She would have to be hallucinatory. No, the lame troopergate is as far as it goes with her. Stick with the issues, folks. That’s how to beat her.

    The God that I don’t believe in is not this righteous. No. No. No.

    No?

  21. The 3-Legged Man

    My ex-g.f. told me she’s running for mayor of Grand Rapids, ND, and hopes to be governor in 4 years and VP in 8. She says every chick she knows is doing it, though, so she’s decided to one-up them by getting fake-pregnant and stealing a child of mixed race. She says this ups the sympathy factor, especially if the child has a hare lip or some other deformity that makes her look even stronger for loving it. I wish I had married her or something, but I don’t own a snowmobile.

  22. Delicious

    The TV movie version has to be insanely more attractive than the real-life character.

    I vote Jessica Alba.

  23. smellyal8r

    [re=77193]MISTAHCOUGHDROP[/re]: I’ve really had questions about the whole story of being in Dallas at some Repub Gov Assn event and her water breaking…moderating a panel or delivering a speech, then getting to the airport, then getting on the airplane to fly back to AK (which ain’t close), then delivering in an AK hospital or, gawd by then, at the child’s elementary school. That’s a lot of time elapsed (if any parts of the story are indeed true…she may have started contractions in TX, etc.).

  24. simetrias

    Hmm… this gets curioser and curioser. The Mat-Su Regional Hospital shows no birth with the surname Palin any time in April (or March, or May). Born at home? Born under an assumed name? Why aren’t the hospital staff talkin’?

    http://matsuregional.com/index_flash.php

    Visit the nursery….

  25. Vanity Smurf

    [re=77195]MISTAHCOUGHDROP[/re]: Oh please, any smart girl would have had the abortion. It’s a schmaltzy piece of crap. If Ellen Paige weren’t such a dykon it would have been panned.

  26. MBSF

    Better save that page from the Mat-Su hospital before it gets scrubbed too!
    This is becoming so, I dunno, like something that was on the “X-Files” a decade ago.

  27. smellyal8r

    [re=77197]Delicious[/re]: It will make the “non-convention” more fun with this to talk about. An earlier post had it right. If she’s raising her grandbaby as her own, fine and it probably is a private family matter. If she’s using this to lash out against abortion because she claims to have carried this baby to term and did not, well then, the Eagleton treatment is too nice. This IS all about judgement — McCain’s. If he did indeed run out and get him some woman last week (any woman who wasn’t Kay Bailey Hutchison) he is truly crazy. McCain will be lucky if this whole thing blows up this week and he can get Mittens on board and leave St. Paul like nothing ever happened.

  28. The 3-Legged Man

    [re=77192]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: Interesting. The Halcro blog reports an 8 person McCain team landed at Anchorage today and, very odd, they’ve registered at a Wasilla hotel. Any bets on how quickly they’ll be flashing fake badges and commandeering the medical records of any Palin that might have given birth this year? This is becoming much like that movie where people sold their kidney’s in London for fake visas or whatever….okay, it’s different, but creepy is what I mean.

  29. MISTAHCOUGHDROP

    [re=77201]smellyal8r[/re]: Mr. Smelly, think of the judgement involved: Getting on a plain for an 8-plus hour trip to Alaska. She’s some do-gooder? She’s not doing herself or her baby any good at all by risking a live birth on an airplane. She doesn’t know what’s required of a VP? Does she know what’s required of a sane mother? Who would do that? they don’t have hospitals in Texas?

    Hmmmmmmmmmmm. Indeed. Poor judgement on the part of Mr. McCain. At the very least, he should have known these rumors were circulating and would erupt as soon as she was picked. My thinking: He’s trashing his plane and heading for a hard (dare I say crash?) landing.

  30. Joey Ratz

    [re=77180]MBSF[/re]: That non-Debra Messing woman from Will and Grace. As an added bonus, she already has a shrill, annoying voice.

  31. MBSF

    The picture on the Times Online (UK) site of Palin with a really big scary looking gun is f’ing awesome!

  32. MISTAHCOUGHDROP

    [re=77205]Vanity Smurf[/re]: Mr. Smurf, That’s the movies! She made the right choice for the movies. Briston (or Sarah) made the right choice for Alaska! I think Ellen Page was great. But I know Ellen Page, and Bristol Palin is no Ellen Page.

    I do like the JUNO/Juneau thing. Mush!

  33. smellyal8r

    [re=77212]Joey Ratz[/re]: That would be Megan Mullaly (sp?). Interesting choice. If this turns into a “real life drama” I think Meredith Baxter has a “right of first refusal” clause at Lifetime.

  34. spencer

    [re=77174]The Incomparable Tiny Valdez[/re]: Apparently people on intrade think so. His volume is HUGE right now and Palin is going down.

  35. AnotherManforHillary

    [re=77197]Delicious[/re]: You’re kidding, right? These things aren’t won on the issues – Karl Rove demonstrated that during the last eight years. Even Hopey can’t deny that axiom.

  36. Texan Bulldoggette

    [re=77210]The 3-Legged Man[/re]: I’m amazed Wasilla has a hotel. From pics I’ve seen, they are a totally motel type of town. I’ve also seen reports on HuffPo & DailyKos that Obama’s team beat the McCain team there. The next few days should be interesting.

  37. Cogito Ergo Bibo

    [re=77203]Delicious[/re]: Excellent. Leave it to the Brits to choose the perfect picture to sum up who this Palin woman is. Ovaries? Check. Guns? Check. Oh and she’s smart! Really! See the glasses?

  38. smellyal8r

    I’ve talked about McCain’s judgement, but Gov. Palin’s is also in play here (albeit to a slightly lesser extent). Who gets that call from Sedona and doesn’t tell someone on the campaign team: “I have an issue that you don’t want to know about.” Any Phoenix lawyer worth his salt would say “right-o. Thanks for coming down. Have a nice life.” The voters of AK may not know (or care) but she has to realize that she a) has a very pissed off defeated opponent in that governor’s race and b) that the blogs can spend a random Sunday night checking out her story. Bizarre. This would shock Bill Clinton!

  39. The 3-Legged Man

    [re=77225]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: I imagine it’s a group of double-wide trailers hooked together with a birthing room in the foyer. Considering that Wasilla is 97% white and 3% native, anyone from Obama’s camp will stick out like a….never mind…

  40. StrangelyBrown

    If Babygate spreads far and wide this week, then it’s entirely possible that the Fundies will freak out and push to have Palin taken off the ticket. Then McCain can nominate Lieberman like he always wanted, and the Republican Party will explode with the heat of a thousand suns.

    But if she survives the convention intact, then no one must speak of this rumor ever again. Because the last thing we need is for her to come clean about her grandson with two weeks to go before the election in the fucking tear-stained Checkers speech of the 21st century, guaranteeing us 16 more years of McCain/Palin/Jenna Bush.

    Timing, people, timing.

  41. jarsilver

    [re=77168]Cogito Ergo Bibo[/re]: Which means that Ken and Jim weren’t, then? My guess: Jim was raised in a test tube and Ken was reproduced asexually via spores.

  42. Vanity Smurf

    [re=77217]MISTAHCOUGHDROP[/re]: You’re right, she did make the right choice for a Hollywood movie. The best abortion movie ever is probably “Vera Drake,” starring Dolores Umbridge.

  43. d4g33z

    Whoa, Sara S.! My snark has turned to nausea too, but you have to admit: it’s really _weird_. There’s blood in waters…

  44. smellyal8r

    [re=77234]Vanity Smurf[/re]: Amen to that. That’s a great movie and not a lot of people saw it, though she did get nominated for an Oscar.

  45. Jenna'

    The father is not the brother, but rather Bristol’s super hot Trigonometry teacher, who would be played by Greg Evigan in the blockbuster Lifetime made-for-tv movie. How else to explain such a f’ed up name?

  46. Vanity Smurf

    My sister just informed me that Down Syndrome risk has two peaks: after 35 and before the end of puberty. So there goes the only reasonably good excuse that it really is Sarah’s.

    Looks like we got ourselves and old fashioned, small town, small mind, shameful sexual sin of a minor, kinda scandal going here. Couldn’t happen to a better zealot.

    Who’s Bristol’s babydaddy? How much will the Nat. Enq. pay him for his story so he can flee Alaska and the Palin’s well known vindictive tendencies?

  47. springfield_meltdown

    I’d almost prefer to find out that she decided to cover up her daughter’s pregnancy in a misguided attempt to shore up her conservative credibility than for the story of her heroic Alaskan vaginal muscles holding in that baby for 12 hours until she landed on that great state’s soil being the truth. Because compromising her own health and the health of the fetus is kind of worse than old-fashioned embarrassment over teen pregnancy.

  48. MISTAHCOUGHDROP

    Anyone who thinks this story will bend in McCain’s favor is outta their minds.

    Mr. Smurf, I think this is worth about $5 – $10 million to the adolescent father. You betcha the National Enquire is onto this. A plane is filled with their people right now as thousands are cheering Sarah Palin. Waiting for some reporter to drop this on Rick, McCain’s campaign manager on live TV. Should be interesting…

  49. loudmouthredhead

    Will this become the most famous muffin top in the country? Poor Bristol, only being remembered for her pooch/preggo belly. Oh well, at least she’s not named Track, or Piper, or after a Norse word for strength.

    I’m taking bet’s on the next kid/grandkid. What’ll it be folks?
    My list:
    *Boys* *Girls*
    Cooter Barracuda
    Trey Mitzy
    Marmaduke Shotput
    ArcticCat Xena

  50. The 3-Legged Man

    The way McCain is going about the vetting process shows that Palin and he are two hearts that beat as one. In the “troopergate” thing, she shitcanned the one commissioner, installed a new one, told everyone she had reviewed the allegations about his sexual harassment history and found them “baseless”. Ooops….a week later it turned out they were accurate. New commissioner resigns in disgrace…or so everyone thought, until it was revealed that he had received a $10,000 severance check after a week on the job. Former commissioner received: nothing. I imagine Palin is negotiating with McCain as we snark.

  51. Vanity Smurf

    [re=77242]springfield_meltdown[/re]: It wasn’t 12 hours, it was more like 22+ hours from the time she started leaking fluid and having contractions. She has claimed it started at 4am CST. She “delivered” in Wasilla over 22 hours later. A 5th labor taking over 22 hours? I don’t think so.

  52. loudmouthredhead

    [re=77241]Vanity Smurf[/re]: Sweet statutory, who’s the father then? Edwards was busy impregnating a cougar/puma…Bill was training to mouth “I love you, I love you”…and Al Gore was probably training to suck Tipper’s organs out through her mouth again. Who’s left?

  53. Outstando

    This is all part of George H. W. Bush’s master plan, just as he directed the Swift Boat attacks on John Kerry, masterminded the assassination of John F. Kennedy, and hatched Katherine Harris in a Panamanian laboratory rented with walking around money provided by the Shah of Iran in exchange for the CIA ousting Mohammad Mossadegh.

    The truth is that neither Palin nor her daughter were pregnant. That baby doesn’t exist. It’s just a Photoshop worm algorithm developed by the Carlisle group with off-budget funds diverted from Iraqi oil sales. The baby is inserted into photos automatically, and the humans in the photos modify their expressions accordingly. The goal here is to make the 2008 election about whether it is right for a mother to love her daughter, with Obama playing the ‘let’s hate our daughters’ role.

    And this subplot is really just a handmaiden to the linchpin of the election: Michigan, where Obama hates delegates, Republicans love hockey, women love their daughters, and the big three have been promised tactical nukes aimed at Toyota and Honda plants throughout the world. Also, the Detroit Pistons have been guaranteed the next two NBA titles. Only Rasheed Wallace is willing to speak the truth, and the refs are gunning for him as a result.

  54. loudmouthredhead

    [re=77245]The 3-Legged Man[/re]: It’s ALASKA…you can blame ANYTHING on a moose and/or caribou up there. Hell, if she claims it was uppity wildlife, there goes the case to keep ANWAR.

  55. loudmouthredhead

    [re=77247]Vanity Smurf[/re]: Yeah, I mean, can’t the kid just walk outta there by then? Come on…

  56. smellyal8r

    [re=77245]The 3-Legged Man[/re]: There is no “negotiation”. She probably won’t even get plane fare home, just have to grab a Southwest flight out of where ever she and her luggage are dumped on the tarmac. What a great picture that will be. Her on top of her Samsonite “super veep” series waiting for her flight back to nothingness.

  57. Vanity Smurf

    [re=77248]loudmouthredhead[/re]: I bet the age of consent in Alaska is like 14 or something crazy. Even if the baby daddy were at risk of selective prosecution by the Palin administration a few million dollars in the bank might be worth it.

  58. smellyal8r

    [re=77249]Outstando[/re]: And don’t forget Rand, Halliburton, the Tri-Lateral Commission and the Rothshilds. The truth IS out there.

  59. Jingo

    Sarah Palin is absolutely the baby’s mother. The real question is how she stayed so trim right up to the point of giving birth, while her lazy daughter ate Cheetos and refused to lose those extra ten pounds of belly flab?

    Some accuse Sarah’s continued rigorous exercise routine of having jeopardized the baby and said it may have led to the premature birth. They question what that says about her judgement. I say it speaks volumes on her judgement. After all, she is the hottest Governor around. Would any ex-beauty queen want to lose that title for a fetus with a bunch of bad chromosomes? I think not.

    Others question whether she should have even allowed herself to get pregnant in her peri-menopausal mid-forties. My answer to that is, how could she possibly keep her husband Todd, or First Dude as she likes to call him, off that fine gubernatorial ass? She couldn’t…although she wouldn’t be in this predicament if she actually let him near the ass, but that is “the devil’s vagina” as we all know. And of course, condoms (the devil’s raincoat), spermicides (the devil’s drano), birth control pills (the devil’s candy) and IUD’s (the devil’s bear trap for embryos) were all out of the question because contraception makes God cry.

  60. simetrias

    [re=77253]The 3-Legged Man[/re]: Of course! It as an anal birth! That explains everything in this shitty plot.

  61. loudmouthredhead

    What kind of “-gate” could we call this…Babygate is too boring.
    Muffin-gate?
    Oopsie-gate?
    Trig-gate?
    Corky-gate?
    Northern Exposure-gate?

  62. Outstando

    [re=77255]smellyal8r[/re]: You’re just falling for the conspiracies they WANT you to believe. Typical.

  63. DC Spring

    So the Times is carrying this? Let’s think, it’s conservative, and it’s carefully worded, and there are colossal defamation laws in the Uk as a lese majeste hangover. They’re gonna run unsubstantiated and unsubstantiable rumoring?? My dear fellows, I think not.

    Kos is very assertive in his piece, so assumedly has grounds. With the reports of the wiki entries being changed and the counter squad arriving in Wasilla, it looks at the possibly slimmest margin maybe maybe and jus puttin it out there … that the vetting was rushed and comprehensively fkd up and a do-over is happening. A random and theoretical idea.

    To all commenterers in the reality-based community, this has waaay more miles to go. When the hell do journos get a chance to ask the freakin obvious, of both Juan AND Palin??? I feel a you bin LYYYYIIIING moment coming on.

    Otherwise, platinum! God bless the ‘postrophe! Long may ye reign erratically over our possessives.

  64. simetrias

    [re=77259]loudmouthredhead[/re]: Given the circumstances of that flight from Texas to Alaska, it sounds like “Watergate” is what you’re looking for there…. or is it Broken Watergate?

  65. The 3-Legged Man

    [re=77256]Jingo[/re]: I honest-to-god LOL’d at the “devil’s vagina” reference. I have vague repressed memories of my parish priest using that term…..

  66. loudmouthredhead

    [re=77258]Vanity Smurf[/re]: Can we just vote for her uterus and forget the rest? It shows Amur’can values of hard work, and…um, persistence?

  67. Vanity Smurf

    [re=77262]DC Spring[/re]: I know… The Guardian maybe, but the fucking TIMES of London! The most prim and proper and polite paper in the English speaking world has given it’s credibility to this story.

    I am a-tingle

  68. Vanity Smurf

    [re=77268]loudmouthredhead[/re]: I dunno, after four (or five) kids it’s probably in need of a little pick me up.

  69. smellyal8r

    [re=77270]Vanity Smurf[/re]: And that also allows questions on this side of the Atlantic. “Sir, the Times of London, in Old Europe, is reporting that…your comments puh-leeze…” “Gov. Palin, how do you explain these pictures? Is yours a Minge to Nowhere? Are you willing to eat five bowls of fried rice, drink two tumblers of Metamucil and re-enact your daring escape from Texas?”

  70. loudmouthredhead

    [re=77277]smellyal8r[/re]: No, that role has already been taken by Valerie Bertinelli in the soon-to-be-released Lifetime movie: Flight of the Gilf.

  71. S.Luggo

    [re=77214]MBSF[/re]: Palin’s fire arm is meant only to forestall Siberian Inuit invaders in seal-skin kayaks, as they fiercely wave their walrus tusk spears, while crossing the Bering Straits to invade Alaska, at least until Palin can alert the commando “Eskimo Pie” sled dog units of her state national guard to counter attack. This is hope we can count on.

  72. smellyal8r

    [re=77282]S.Luggo[/re]: Cindy McCain has done her reading on the Bering Strait, hasn’t she? No Ruskies have invaded Alaska since this chick has been in charge.

  73. loudmouthredhead

    [re=77280]loudmouthredhead[/re]: Yup that’s it: the ultimate Palin name–> Mjöllnir Shotput ArticCat Palin.

  74. Vanity Smurf

    [re=77277]smellyal8r[/re]: Yes, indeedy, and the Times knows that full well. This whole flap must have the Europeans determined to make an effort this time around. No more standing by and letting ‘murkins decide by themselves, clearly they aren’t capable.

  75. The 3-Legged Man

    [re=77286]RuperttheBear[/re]: You should go to Daytona for Bike Week. One of the bars hosts an “egg laying” contest that has to be seen to be believed. I briefly had a g.f. who won the damn contest. I think I felt dirtier than if my g.f. was a veteran porno actress with a DVDA specialty. *shuddering at the thought*

  76. loudmouthredhead

    [re=77286]RuperttheBear[/re]: Yeah yeah…but did that super-minge play fuckin’ BASKETBALL? Or join the mutha-fuckin’ NRA?! I think not!
    “Oooooo…..Barracuda!” Dun digga-dun digga-dun digga-dun DUN

  77. donner_froh

    [re=77249]Outstando[/re]: A few small additions to your otherwise comprehensive analysis:

    1) The Pistons recently signed Kwame Brown, a power forward with the same first name as the soon to be ex-mayor of Detroit, proving my contention that for the conspiracy to work there has to be a certain number of semi-famous men named Kwame in town.

    2) Rasheed Wallace is being considered as a junior associate non-voting member of the Council on Foreign Relations (Tall Negro Division) and so has been made to see the light. Nothing coming from Wallace anytime soon.

    3) In Michigan it is customary although not manadatory that a girl gets pregnant by her 14th birthday with the baby raised by her mother–but openly, as her grandaughter, so the 14 year old mom can start working on being a 15 or 16 (or both) year old mom. Most kids have aunts or uncles younger than they are. But since this is the norm in the Wolverine State, if the story broke that Palin and her kid were lying about it there would be hell to pay.

  78. Gimmeabreak

    [re=77218]The 3-Legged Man[/re]: Kim Kardashian was passed over for VP. I really don’t think she will take part in some stupid movie.

  79. loudmouthredhead

    [re=77288]Vanity Smurf[/re]: [re=77275]spencer[/re]: Ok guys, srsly. There is entirely too much talk about genital flaps of skin and pubic wigs going on this evening. Can we stay on topic here?

  80. gliberal

    No one knows the terrible story of the “sixth baby”, an illegitimate black child with Get Down Syndrome.

  81. Aurelio

    [re=77262]DC Spring[/re]: Rupert Murdoch now owns the London Times. So the Times is no longer the reserved bastion it once was. Just sayin’. I’m suspicious about Sarah/Bristol’s little monster, too. Oops! Izzat politically incorrect?

  82. Pop Socket

    I’m going to have to get a Season Pass for “The Secret Life Of The American Teenager” instead of “Meet The Press”.

  83. irisheyes

    Okay, I have one of the WORST labor stories on record with a happy ending. 63 hours- HOURS. To push out a beautiful 10 pound baby. I don’t want to do anything that feels good for 63 hours. But I digress. In hour 17 or so, I had to decide if I wanted to go home and labor some more because once my water broke I COULD NOT LEAVE THE HOSPITAL.

    Her story is beyond bogus. No ob/gyn who didn’t want to have their ass sued off would okay a post water-break labor to continue for hours and on a plane and for several more hours- the risk of infection is just way too high.

    But the real question, if you’re gonna fake a baby switch, why make the labor story so complex? Why not just say that after you got back from Texas you went into a quick labor and presto! Baby Trig!!!!

  84. mookworthjwilson

    [re=77202]simetrias[/re]: Although i totes think this story has some merit, the whole hospital registry thing is a non-starter. Supposedly you can opt out of it…something that you would probably do if you are Gov. of the state.

  85. Vanity Smurf

    [re=77294]loudmouthredhead[/re]: You’re the one who wanted a name for this scandal… I say Palin’s Baby Flap is as a good as any.

  86. loudmouthredhead

    [re=77298]irisheyes[/re]: Yes, but were you at your 5th kid? Like I said earlier, they can just stroll outta there by then right?

    10 POUNDS? Sweet jeebus! That kid was setting up an apartment in there and never planned on leaving.

  87. The 3-Legged Man

    Someone told me that if the cabin pressure dropped suddenly a baby could literally fire like a projectile from the uterus….sorry, can’t give more details..I blacked out during the story.

    This is why all airlines require pregnant women to wear a contraption that resembles a mesh shopping bag. Pretty sure that’s an FAA rule. Might have to check the internets…

  88. Vanity Smurf

    [re=77296]Aurelio[/re]: Jeebus, she’s so horrible that a Murdoch paper is laying the groundwork for the take down. I’ll have to start checking the NYPost first thing.

  89. Aurelio

    [re=77298]irisheyes[/re]: You ask:”Why not just say that after you got back from Texas you went into a quick labor and presto!” Because it had to be THAT NIGHT. Can’t have your baby born in Alaska on April 18 while you were in Dallas at the same time.

  90. Sean O

    A propos of nothing, the Mat Su nursery page that failed to list little Trigonometry is now down.

    Please, god I don’t believe in, let this be true.

  91. irisheyes

    [re=77303]loudmouthredhead[/re]: My first ( needless to say I only had one more). But, my sister popped out her third in just under two hours- you are absolutely right; the more babies you have the faster they come. Michelle Duggar probably takes 10-15 minutes to launch one.

    http://www.duggarfamily.com/

  92. Magsbe

    As deliciously juicy as this story is, I kind of wish it wasn’t taking off. I feel so bad for that poor girl, way to get humiliated on an international stage.

  93. irisheyes

    [re=77307]Aurelio[/re]: Wait- and I’m not being snarky here-was she trying to fit the bogus birth certificate? Why the 18th?

  94. loudmouthredhead

    [re=77304]The 3-Legged Man[/re]: That’s why my Lifetime movie I mentioned ([re=77281]loudmouthredhead[/re]:) is taking so long to produce. They needed to blow a whole in a real freakin-jet!

    Sarah Palin..secret weapon against Russian aggression: The Gyno Cannon.

  95. The 3-Legged Man

    [re=77309]irisheyes[/re]: My mother had seven, and on the last one she was home two hours after leaving for the hospital. Got there, dropped the kid in the ER without going up to OB, chewed the umbilical cord, ziplocked the afterbirth, home in time to breast feed the rest of us. Catholic family, what can I say, only some rodent species breed more rapidly (or more matter-of-factly).

  96. loudmouthredhead

    [re=77309]irisheyes[/re]: Wow, thanks for making me throw up a little! Does she even have any eggs left?

  97. Aurelio

    [re=77241]Vanity Smurf[/re]: Regarding your comment “My sister just informed me that Down Syndrome risk has two peaks: after 35 and before the end of puberty”: could you please ask your sister for her source on this? Or could someone in this thread provide a link? The well known link between geezer-chick-pregnancy and Down Syndrome is the most powerful argument in Sarah’s favor. I would love to see it refuted.

  98. loudmouthredhead

    Please ignore the misinterpretation of my punctuation above: I was NOT making a smiley face

  99. Vanity Smurf

    [re=77310]Magsbe[/re]: It’s her mother’s fault. I hope she snaps and does a full court Mommie Dearest.

    These people kept their daughter ignorant about her body, then when she inevitably got pregnant as horny teens will if they don’t have condoms and BC pills, they made it a dirty and shameful family secret. To top it off she’s probably been told that the Down Syndrome is further punishment from god for her trollopey ways.

  100. Aurelio

    [re=77311]irisheyes[/re]: Well, I think what may have happened is that Bristol called Sarah on the old cell phone and said, “Mom, I just broke water. You gotta get up here fast so we can do the switch.” Then they did whatever deal they had with the hospital (which Sarah probably helped as Governor) to, yes, fix the birth certificate and have Sarah walk out with the newborn. Something like that. I’m guessing.

  101. Vanity Smurf

    [re=77316]Aurelio[/re]: She’s a Ph.D. biologist who’s had 2 kids in the last 5 years. Phone conversation so no link from her. Try The Google, I don’t feel like being your sexy librarian right now.

  102. Magsbe

    [re=77319]Vanity Smurf[/re]: Well, of course. I still feel like a total douche for my involuntary salivating at the story, though, you know?

  103. DoctorCulturae

    If Palin goes down (I am trying to keep double entendres out of this, but…anyway) I hope it’s over the fact she’s a twit and not because she’s protecting her daughter. The fact that she is covering for her puts her in even better stead with the wingnut faction who’ll merely cry foul over the big bad MSM and those of us who are evil libtards.

  104. badco/LoJ

    I was thinking of how fucked up it is to name a kid with Down Syndrome “Trig”. It’s like naming a kid “Track” who… wait, Track has legs, right?

  105. spencer

    [re=77316]Aurelio[/re]: Down Syndrome isn’t all that rare — the probably goes up when you are 45, but this isn’t that unusual of an occurrence in the pregnant population in general.

  106. Cogito Ergo Bibo

    [re=77326]badco/LoJ[/re]: Seriously. I said that on Friday. It’s setting the math bar waaaaay too high for a poor Down (Down’s, for you in ye olde England) Syndrome kid.

  107. The 3-Legged Man

    Protocol question:
    Remember how everyone had to wait until Brittney Spears was at least 18 before they could say she was hot? (Okay, so she hit the wall shortly after…big deal, she was hot once.) I’m wondering, is that the rule? Do we have to wait until a certain VPILF’s daughter is 18 before noting that when she loses the post-partum baloney slices she’s going to be rather tasty, like her mom? (No, I’m not talking about Cindy McCain’s kid…she has one, right?)

  108. jasonelias

    [re=77180]MBSF[/re]: Amy Pietz, she’s cute so maybe I wouldn’t want her to play this a-hole.

  109. Vanity Smurf

    [re=77326]badco/LoJ[/re]: Yes, he has legs — for now. He’s going to Iraq on 9/11 though so he could be missing a few limbs in time for election day. Maybe she can use that spankin’ new passport of hers to visit him in the hospital in Germany after he gets blown up. You know, she’s said there’d better be a plan for all that war stuff. Yup, yup.

  110. The 3-Legged Man

    [re=77326]badco/LoJ[/re]: It’s better than in England, where by law the child’s first name must be Mong.

  111. spencer

    [re=77331]Cogito Ergo Bibo[/re]: You guys know it probably means “Trigger” which I guess has something to do with a gun. Which this kid will never be able to shoot … right?

  112. nyhfrog

    This post just makes me feel old. My mom, a fairly liberal-minded educator of children with special needs used to refer to them as “Mongoloid”in the early seventies.

    Very bad thing now but at least it wouldn’t cause this confusion with possessives.

    By the way, is it Lou Gehrig or Lou Gehrig’s disease”

    Oh! and of course it’s Sarah’s kid. She was in her mid-forties. It’s amazing when they DON’T have Down Syndrome babies.

    Can we just stick to the fact that she’s a wingnut who supported Hatefest ’92 star, Pat Buchanan. That should really be enough without all the rumors and experience crap.

  113. DoctorCulturae

    [re=77304]The 3-Legged Man[/re]: Thanks.The mesh bag on an airplane image is going to provide me with some interesting dreams tonight.

    You know if McDoof wants to really prove he’s not Dubya he should pilot a jet right into the eye of Gustav.

  114. DoctorCulturae

    [re=77338]nyhfrog[/re]: Isn’t it about time to revisit all those lovely speeches Buttanan gave in the 90s?

    … and the Mozart Requiem or Mozart’s Requiem?

  115. hatlesshead

    [re=77155]stew[/re]: What about the 10 year old stepson being tasered on demand by the [eventually] sacked copper bro-in-low while they were out shooting mooses?

  116. DoctorCulturae

    [re=77342]Hopelicious[/re]: Interesting. Don’t know what a galdiator is though. Is that someone who is utterly galling? Or perhaps a warrior from Gaul?

  117. Aurelio

    [re=77322]Vanity Smurf[/re]: Dear sexy librarian, show your “Biology Ph.D. sister” this, published by Oxford University Press in 2007:

    “The teenage pregnancy associated increase in risk for central nervous system anomalies was mainly attributable to anomalies other than anencephalus, spina bifida/meningocele and hydrocephalus and microcephalus; for gastrointestinal anomalies the risk was mainly attributable to omphalocele/gastroschisis; and for musculoskeletal/integumental anomalies the risk was mainly attributable to cleft lip/palate and polydactyly/syndactyly/adactyly. No increased risk was found for circulatory/respiratory anomalies, urogenital anomalies, or Down’s syndrome. –http://humrep.oxfordjournals.org/cgi/content/full/dem043v1

  118. S.Luggo

    [re=77182]StrangelyBrown[/re]:
    “But if she keeps talking about him [her Down’s Syndrome child] in every goddamn speech …” As someone with a cognitively disabled person in his family, I pray that she will stop. But I suspect that McCain’s Rovian handlers are far more sly than to permit her to continue. Instead, they will allow Palin’s personal misfortune to be a subtext lure among the Evangelicals. This is “change” we can count on, I suspect.

    Whether Palin understands that her handicapped child might become ‘chum’ in a national election is another matter. We shall see.

  119. The 3-Legged Man

    [re=77348]S.Luggo[/re]: Do you think Chum would have been a better name than Trig? I like the fishing connotation.

  120. Destonio

    As the dude playing a dude pretending to be a dude said in Tropic Thunder, “you won’t get the big prize if you go ‘full tard.’”

  121. DC Spring

    [re=77270]Vanity Smurf[/re]: Yo, had to take a moment to eat, drink, breathe, smoke (hoooo mama, that god, libertee!) and wander around the neighborhood for Fitnessness and Exercise and trying to establish whether my locale made it into the Truman Show olympics.

    Apart from the haunted houses I think we fkn missed. Damn there’s lots of empty ones tho. Funny sign outside too. For mounths And you’d think they’d use duct tape not that yellow printed shit from some performance artist called the Countee.

    But anyway, have you done an ego surf on Teh Google? Big fun! Platinum! Just type in your wonky handle along with wonkette n see what extraordinary renditions arise! I mean that in a kinda colloquial not a mil-Langliland way, natch. All our loving glorious postcards to Layne and each other are available to teh world!!!

    Feeling pretty perky right now. The World!!!

  122. oisin

    Although ‘Down syndrome’ is more commonly used, ‘Down’s syndrome’ is also acceptable. At least that’s what I infer from the fact that the New England Journal of Medicine not long ago published an article entitled, “Prenatal screening for Down’s syndrome with use of maternal serum markers.”

  123. Cogito Ergo Bibo

    [re=77356]Aurelio[/re]: Meh. All received prior to said birth. Could just as easily explain why she trusted the woman to deliver the baby. Hey, I like a good scandal as much as the next person! But we’re going to need a larger smoking gun, here. You know. Like the kind Palin uses to hunt endangered bear from a helicopter. But definitely an interesting side note. Good to know.

  124. Aurelio

    [re=77360]Cogito Ergo Bibo[/re]: I sure wouldn’t say that I know the kid is Bristol’s. Nor would I even say I believe it. But there are certainly grounds for suspicion.

  125. shortsshortsshorts

    In Alaska, the extreme climate makes you lie or feel remorseful. If you don’t, you inevitably break a few of the rules just to get by.
    This is still the best rep veep since like, Quayle? He was a small-time politician to, and he was awesome.
    Remember “Potatoe?” Good ‘ol Quayle.

  126. Cogito Ergo Bibo

    [re=77363]Aurelio[/re]: Agreed. Tons of suspicion. Not arguing. Still mainly offended that McGrampster seems to think that appointing something with ovaries is going to get my Proud Vagina American vote. Fail.

  127. professor.cj

    [re=77338]nyhfrog[/re]: Most everybody in the south used to refer to them as Mongoloid. (Some of the old ones still do–I know because I have a niece with Down, and it drives my sister nuts).

    The pregnancy thing seems like a red herring. Sarah is probs the mom.

  128. StrangelyBrown

    [re=77363]Aurelio[/re]: I have to say, as someone who was the recipient of every single Obama slander that could be conveyed via email from my idiot redneck cousins, that I am enjoying the hell out of this rumor, and I never want to see it end!

    Just a few more urls to send out tonight…

  129. DC Spring

    JEEBUS WONKETTEERS keep yr eye on the ball.

    Hell’s freaking bells – ahem, the use of the apostrophe is not exactly the main point to be established here. Or maybe I’ve strayed into some grammarian nerdbag site.

    I just lost the fkn link, but the AK blogs are carrying this – I honestest make no shit up:

    “Palin never got big with this pregnancy. She said she didn’t try to hide it but didn’t feel a need to alert the airline, either.

    They landed in Anchorage around 10:30 p.m. Thursday and an hour later were at the Mat-Su Regional Medical Center in Wasilla.

    Baldwin-Johnson said she had to induce labor, and the baby didn’t come until 6:30 a.m. Friday.”

    What the frkn howling fk? Ok so she supposedly breaks waters in TX and gets on a plane for eight hours? NO. Not likely. Doesn’t and shouldn’t happen. Imagine the insurance counter to this. THEN, it sounds like a difficult birth in the middle of the night, altho the article doesn’t say when labor commenced, which is fine but leaves some minor questions…

    Ok, so a woman at 44 with fifth child needs to be induced? NO. Most most unlikely. Is there something in this story that I’m getting all awry fkd up and confused about? Cos It’s not sounding remotely plausible.

    I’ve been at two births with waaaay big belly girl, who hadn’t been able to function on anything professional for months and months, and the timeframes are just not making sense. So Palin was on song for the months when she went thru first trimester irritation and grumpy shitfest, second trimester surge, wonder and glee club, and then third trimester energy meltdown??? Haven’t heard it. The pre-partum sleep deprivation, discomfort, and all the other aches and pains basically mean you can’t do the do and keep working effectively right up to birthday.

    But I’m a guy and a dipshit for wanting a rational story here.

  130. StrangelyBrown

    [re=77372]Aurelio[/re]: Actually, I think the question of why she traveled to Texas to give a speech when she was 8 months pregnant and subsequently flew all the way back to Alaska to give birth after her water broke is of vital national importance, as it speaks to her decision-making ability and mental balance. The fact that such a reckless and far-fetched story lends credence to the whole grandmother theory is just gravy.

    Seriously: http://www.ktuu.com/global/story.asp?s=8194634

  131. S.Luggo

    [re=77352]The 3-Legged Man[/re]: “Do you think Chum would have been a better name than Trig?” No. We shall have to see if she exploits her personal tragedy for political gain. In that she (as moi) is an RC, my belief is not. [Family first.] Then again, Karl Rove is the devil viper voodoo king.

    Keep your eye on the prize.
    “Last night was, please, can I tell everyone, fantabulous. Disco tonight.”
    http://blogs.e-rockford.com/applesauce/files/2008/05/bush-mccain.jpg

  132. ex-patate

    So, buried in the comments on this Alaskan blog,

    http://mudflats.wordpress.com/2008/08/30/off-to-the-land-of-palin/

    is someone who claims to be Sarah Palin’s neighbor, and the dirt she’s dishing is that the daughter is knocked up right now, that she just shotgun-married her sixteen-year-old boyfriend, and that the whole thing is a badly-kept secret in li’l Wasilla. (Keep pushin’ that “abstinence-only,” Sarah!)

    And she says the Down’s baby is Sarah’s.

    If you go to marvelous Megan McCain’s blog and scroll through the photos from yesterday, it does kinda look like the daughter is using Down’s-baby as a kind of stomach-hider.

    To keep the rumor-mill flowing.

  133. JuanStJesus

    Just WAIT till the Dem’s get wind of the fact that my “First Man” in this state has been drilling more holes for oil than any Texas oil crew, and there are more stained “blue dresses” in Alaska then old “Wild Bill” spunked on his entire life…..

    Juan St. Jesus

  134. kellygrrrl

    [re=77207]MBSF[/re]: already scrubbed
    cannot access any birth or nursery page for hospital as of two hours ago.

  135. kellygrrrl

    ob/gyn’s are calling this out on many levels.

    the AK doctor claims she then induced labor at 6:30 a.m. after she had been in labor for 24 hours and had flown all over the country. They do not induce any child, much less high-risk, a month early

    all records are getting scrubbed quick

    this is crazy

  136. kellygrrrl

    [re=77256]Jingo[/re]: that was the best laugh I’ve had all weekend. Thank you for making this Surreal Trip a little trippier!

  137. Gopherit v2.0

    Christ on a stick. You people are turning into 9/11 truthers of Palin’s vag. Can we just agree that she’s a pretty but talentless political hack who should never have left the political safety of AK?

  138. The 3-Legged Man

    So, why was the kid’s first word, “Gramma” uttered, oddly enough, when Palin was near him? Conclusive, in my book.

  139. The 3-Legged Man

    [re=77386]somelegalbitch[/re]: Well, if anyone else is wondering they sure didn’t have the nads to speak up about it. They actually almost named the kid Walnuts, but found out there was a federal trademark on it.

  140. The 3-Legged Man

    [re=77392]MBSF[/re]: The chronology never added up. The rumors of the daughter’s pregnancy began roughly the same time the GILF announced she was loaded with her fifth. The rumors were not idle gossip; the only uncertainty was the date the daughter was due. If she’s still pregnant it means she’s in about her 10th month. She should have dropped it by now. I think Trig is really Sarah’s, Grommet is Bristol’s, and no word on any other Palin gals with in utero action. Why the hospital is cooperating in a cover-up is anyone’s guess.

  141. DC Spring

    [re=77385]kellygrrrl[/re]: Keep on this, viz the wiki entry changes and the rest, there’s a serious counter going on and anyone with screen-grabs of anything related to this should go do NOW. It’s going to go on all night. Dangit. And it’s going to get worse.

    I’ve got a post above, but for ref:

    “I just lost the fkn link, but the AK blogs are carrying this – I honestest make no shit up:

    “Palin never got big with this pregnancy. She said she didn’t try to hide it but didn’t feel a need to alert the airline, either.

    They landed in Anchorage around 10:30 p.m. Thursday and an hour later were at the Mat-Su Regional Medical Center in Wasilla.

    Baldwin-Johnson said she had to induce labor, and the baby didn’t come until 6:30 a.m. Friday.”

    That’s the short version, the more floridly paranoid version is posted below:

    “Hell’s freaking bells – ahem, the use of the apostrophe is not exactly the main point to be established here. Or maybe I’ve strayed into some grammarian nerdbag site.

    I just lost the fkn link, but the AK blogs are carrying this – I honestest make no shit up:

    “Palin never got big with this pregnancy. She said she didn’t try to hide it but didn’t feel a need to alert the airline, either.

    They landed in Anchorage around 10:30 p.m. Thursday and an hour later were at the Mat-Su Regional Medical Center in Wasilla.

    Baldwin-Johnson said she had to induce labor, and the baby didn’t come until 6:30 a.m. Friday.”

    What the frkn howling fk? Ok so she supposedly breaks waters in TX and gets on a plane for eight hours? NO. Not likely. Doesn’t and shouldn’t happen. Imagine the insurance counter to this. THEN, it sounds like a difficult birth in the middle of the night, altho the article doesn’t say when labor commenced, which is fine but leaves some minor questions…

    Ok, so a woman at 44 with fifth child needs to be induced? NO. Most most unlikely. Is there something in this story that I’m getting all awry fkd up and confused about? Cos It’s not sounding remotely plausible

    But I’m a guy and a dipshit for wanting a rational story here.

  142. The 3-Legged Man

    If the membrane breaks and fluid is leaking but contractions aren’t strong enough to deliver the baby, they will induce because the baby is at risk the less fluid there is. Otherwise, C-section. This I heard from a nurse, for what it’s worth.

  143. S.Luggo

    [re=77396]The 3-Legged Man[/re]: Don’t care. One may as well ask how Cindy Lou escaped from the Betty Ford clinic or how Chelsea remains so slim. The Trilateral Commission keeps these secrets under its control and we are merely its pawns. Aargh.

  144. Eduwanker

    Walnuts is carrying 3 illicit babies to term in his mouth and all we can talk about is the VPILF’s fat daughter?

  145. SayItWithWookies

    [re=77409]Gopherit v2.0[/re]: “You have the vaginal muscles of a female gladiator.”

    And they say she wasn’t even vetted.

  146. azw88

    My theory is this:

    The kid is hers, but they kept it secret after finding out about the Down syndrome early on. The were hoping for a ‘miscarriage’, and that is why she went on a vigorous hike @ approx 6 months. After a few failed “attempts”, they went public with the preggers story, knowing that they couldn’t hide it. (Sorry, but there are some women that just don’t get very big when preggers).
    They took the risks they did with the Texas trip, hoping for some divine intervention.

  147. itgetter

    [re=77409]Gopherit v2.0[/re]: What, what, WHAT?! Do they let you fly after your water has broken?! “Ho hum, don’t mind me! Just passing through airport security. What?… Mysterious liquid leaking from my body? Just amniotic fluid! Nothing to trouble yourself over!”

  148. Borat

    [re=77180]MBSF[/re]: Who would play Palin in showtime softcore minisreies drama? Someone yesterday mentioned Palin reminded them of Seinfield when Elane was serving as assistant to Mr. Pitt. I think that would be nice.

  149. DejaVidor

    The circumstances have the smell of truth.

    However, it is still a trap. John McCain and his staff may not have vetted Palin, but Rove and his henchmen certainly did.
    They probably leaked the rumor, knowing that it would all come out anyway.

    Waiting for the pretend-to-be-true birth record that is shown later to be false, obscuring the real birth record.

    As happened with the memo around Bush’s national guard service: a fake copy hides the presence of the real copy.

  150. The 3-Legged Man

    Classic example of Alaskan support for Super Kegel Palin:

    “She was serving faithfully during her pregnancy and right after. You try doing that while throwing up and carrying an extra 15-30 pounds.”

    Taken from: http://community.adn.com/adn/adn_pubstory_511471#comment-367386

    I just wish I knew what it meant to “serve faithfully”. I’d give it a shot, since puking and being overweight aren’t great burdens.

  151. The 3-Legged Man

    One other thing: Is there anyone in the MSM who is likely to actually front up Palin and ask her: “So, has your daughter ever been pregnant?” By now Palin and McCain have had enough time to strategize, and if there’s nothing to this story you’d think they’d just come out and say they’re sick of the despicable rumors.
    On the other hand, that’s not Palin’s style. She is an avoider, and she answers questions only on her own terms.
    If she’s told McCain that her daughter was never pregnant, and it turns out she was, it’s the end for her. If she told McCain her daughter was pregnant, it’s his call on disclosing it. He and she would know the news would eventually be discovered.
    If the kid was never pregnant, she should have already squelched the rumors. She and McCain would get a minimum 5 point jump from the positive reporting if Palin were to confront head-on the only really ugly issue facing her; inexperience and ignorance are not issues, they’re merely her shortcomings.

  152. llyn

    [re=77415]azw88[/re]: That sounds very plausible to me (partly because it had already occurred to me that the long plane ride, etc., was taken in the hope of losing the baby).

  153. Mahatma Froglegs

    [re=77428]The 3-Legged Man[/re]: Come on, man! Puking and being overweight were apparently both part of Dubya’s college years, and look how he wound up!

  154. druranium

    [re=77242]springfield_meltdown[/re]: thank you springfieldmeltdown. It was worth checking back with the ol wonkette on a monday morning to find out the difference between heroic alaskan vaginal muscles and good old fashioned embarrasment over teen pregnancy. Cause that is really what it all boils down to.

  155. zhubajie

    [re=77172]smellyal8r[/re]: Blonde, bodacious, willing to submit to Joe Blow, salty sailor’s vile lustrs….

  156. zhubajie

    [re=77188]Cogito Ergo Bibo[/re]: Think about John Haggee,Rod Parsley, GW Bush, and then, realize that yes, probably she IS the best the GOP (Giant Octopus Party) can offer!

  157. DC Spring

    [re=77402]Neilist[/re]: Daft? Who says “daft”?

    We haz limey.

    Ok, so we’ve reached move along citizen nothing goin on here territory.

    That was quick.

    Ah well, back to the snark. Just thought it might be useful to explore the mega multiple contradictions in the ol storyline.

    Whatever.

    Monday Monday, can’t trust that day…

  158. DangerousLiberal

    I call bullshit on this preggo story. Some women carry babies different than others. And some don’t show much, esp with later ones. And notwithstanding the argument in the Kos post, it is entirely possible for her not to really show. And if one has a baby that you know is possibly a Down’s baby, it can be hard to really talk up one’s own pregnancy.

    And who knows why Bristol has a bit of a tummy Probably belly fat from all the moose burgers and caribou sausages.

    But until John Edwards speaks up, we’ll never really know, will we?

  159. gurukalehuru

    [re=77390]Gopherit v2.0[/re]: I’m a 9/11 truther and I resemble that remark.
    There is no photo of the plane that hit the Pentagon and there is no recent photo of Sarah Palin that looks even remotely pregnant. In a world full of cell phones, the lack of evidence is evidence.

    But, really, I am surprised at the Wonketeers,here we are 3 days into this scandal, and nobody has said it yet, re Bristol P., so allow me to be the first: I’d hit it.

  160. SkimLatteModerate

    [re=77427]DejaVidor[/re]: Of course, I know nothing, but I still don’t think she was actually vetted by anyone. I honestly believe she was McCain’s third or fourth choice. If you were a young, popular, charismatic, successful Republican Governor or businessman thinking of making the move to the national stage, why in the hell would you want to do it tagging along with this campaign that appears to exist for the sole purpose of providing material for Wonkette?

    McCain’s people probably did an initial flip through Palin’s file and dismissed her. It was only when they were shocked to hear several “thanks, but no thanks” from the people they actually vetted that they scrambled to get a woman. If they have to go for someone lacking all the qualities needed in a running mate/Vice President, that person had better have similar anatomy to the only group of people who voiced any dissention during the DNCC last week.

    It was a rash, stupid decision in response to last week’s news cycle and they will regret it in about, oh wait, they already have. It seems like a teenage pregnancy is the least of this woman’s problems and I can’t wait for people to dig up the actually politically relevant stuff McCain’s people were too lazy to.

  161. bunnyhead

    [re=77182]StrangelyBrown[/re]: if the Down Syndrome baby belongs to her, I would question the judgment of a 44 year-old who gets pregnant in the first place, unless it was an accident. (condoms break, and withdrawal can come a little late). Since having a baby over age 40 is known to increase the risk of Down Syndrome, it seems selfish, reckless and immoral.

  162. JohnyT

    It turns out that the keystone “Bristol bump” photos are actually from 2006. Oops. The Kos diary has not been updated to reflect this fact for some reason.

  163. WonkaBee

    [re=77486]enjointhis[/re]: hard to square that pic with the others that were purportedly w/i days of it. BUT I haven’t seen any convincing pics of an obvious kid in Bristol. (and you know what they say about kids in Bristol, hwaw!, hwaw!, hwaw!… sigh) I am afeared that all this wild speculation is going to backfire like a Dan Rather forgery in a turkey shoot. The ‘neighbor’ who saw the pregnant Bristol’s shotgun wedding could be a troll/plant just to keep the moonbats flying.

    Getting the bad feeling about this…

  164. DoctorCulturae

    I’m believing this is a wild goose chase. McRove knows, McCheeze knows it. By the time the MSM figures it out to be a red herring valuable media time will have been lost. I think the Repubsnits are playing a delay game with even more smoke and mirrors than Dub used.

    The question now is: Will Hilz wait to unmask Failin Palin this week? Or will she wait until the Repubcoots slobber vociferously and then play low trump cards?

  165. shoeho

    [re=77508]WonkaBee[/re]: Whatever the truth is, it’s going to surface eventually. Let’s just hope it’s before we get four more years. SP being a total neopyhte, fundiewhackjob hack should carry more weight than whatever the truth (if any) is about the kid(s). However, the other sh*t is a lot more fun, so let schandenfruede rule at least until tomorrow,’K? I mean, it is a holiday weekend, and many of us are getting over three day hangovers.**taking extra large gulp of Bloody Mary**

    Oh, and as for the DR Bush Guard story? You know what I remember most about that? With all the claims of the papers being forged, etc?

    I don’t ever remember anyone saying their wasn’t any truth to it. Of course, putting that together would take a bit of a brain, and a knowledge of how the military stuff actually worked back then which the MSM for sure did not have.

  166. StrangelyBrown

    [re=77514]shoeho[/re]: The most important question someone needs to ask Palin is “why on earth would you endanger your unborn child by flying back and forth to Texas when you were 8 months pregnant? I thought you were “pro-life”?” Then she either has to defend herself as a person who puts her own political advancement ahead of the health and safety of her children (goodbye base!) or she has to come clean.

    And this is her version of the story! At 8 months, you have to out-and-out lie to the airline to even be allowed on the plane in the first place. What was she thinking? Was her little speech — which she totally could have given via Skype — worth the risk of giving birth on the plane?

  167. MISTAHCOUGHDROP

    Doesn’t anyone in that Palin family have a Myspace Page? Are they are FaceBook? Maybe that’s how McCain vetted the Palins. No internet, Kids! Amazing how those shots of dead caribou and the Gov in a miniskirt still pop up. Who’s going to sell out to the National Enquirer for $5 million to tell this story? OH…How can I get Sarah Palin to star in my music video? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BqAcIpGY8Nw

  168. stew

    Looks like National Review Online has directed some of its younglings over here, but I agree troopergate is probably what will send Palin packing back to moose country.

  169. Cogito Ergo Bibo

    So, at this point, the best they can hope for is a second in command who knowingly endangered the life and birth of her special needs child, just to be able to say that it was born in Alaska. Way to go! That should get you the concerned mother vote!

  170. Borat

    [re=77518]StrangelyBrown[/re]: The most important question someone needs to ask Palin is “why on earth would you endanger your unborn child by flying back and forth to Texas when you were 8 months pregnant? I thought you were “pro-life”?”

    Exactly. If she doesn’t care about her child’s life, will she care about the lives of living troops?

  171. shoeho

    [re=77541]MISTAHCOUGHDROP[/re]: Oh my doG! Is Joe gunna have to debate Grammytobe on Jerry Springer or Morey Povitch? Can we have one of those “whodababydaddy” shows, please? (Hey, I was home with knee surgery, it’s all that’s on at 10am in my cable system!)

  172. dorothyparker

    Yup, Bristol is preggers. Fox News just confirmed it in the middle of its hurricane coverage. Are you all happy now?

  173. andersoncooperihardlyknowher

    [re=77541]MISTAHCOUGHDROP[/re]: well, this is just insane…the daughter’s bf’s name is LEVI??

  174. hatlesshead

    They have released this information in an attempt to distract from the mom/grandmom story. It does not answer the question why Momma Palin risked her Down Syndrome baby’s life by making that flight. If the MSM have really been interested in this story, it would have been Gustav who? They are paid corporate shills.

  175. The 3-Legged Man

    True Inspirational Story: I was on a long flight recently. We encountered horrible turbulence and they said under no circumstances could we leave our seats. Naturally, I then had to go to the bathroom. I looked down at the WWSKD (What Would Super Kegel Do) bracelet on my wrist and found the strength to clench my sphincter until we landed 22 hours later in Australia.

    (Postscript: I overheard a funny joke in the baggage claim area…forgot that laughing causes all other muscles to relax….sorry, had to share…. bad taste, I know, but then, so is the image of amniotic fluid filling Sarah’s go-go boots on her flight…)

  176. AngryBlakGuy

    …well let me throw another conspiracy log on the bonfire since no one else has said it yet. What if “Trig” really is Palin’s kid? Maybe she knew early on in pregnancy that the child was going to be developmentally challenged? And being that she is one of those rabid pro-lifers she knew she couldn’t have an abortion so instead she just decides do everything in power to miscarry. It would explain why a woman whose water breaks chooses to wait 20(+) hours before seeking medical attention. All that being said, from what I hear the moment your water breaks YOU ARE IN LABOR contractions do not matter.

    But on the contrary, the fact that there is such clinical cleansing of all documents and photos associated with Sara Palin’s “pregnancy” point a finger at the original theory. Frankly I wouldn’t be surprised if some major shit hits the fan before the end of the week. My theory of how Palin will exit the race is she comes out with a statement saying that the stress and duties of being Vice President isn’t allowing her to raise her children(namely Trig).

  177. goofyeyedterrorist

    OK I know how to settle this controversy. Let’s have a look at the birth video. If it is the Gov’s vagina a lot of you people are going to feel pretty silly.

  178. StrangelyBrown

    [re=77717]goofyeyedterrorist[/re]: Does this mean they’re going to have to hire a special prosecutor to examine the Palin cooter, just like Ken Starr did with the Presidential Penis back in the good ‘ol days?

  179. azw88

    [re=77696]AngryBlakGuy[/re]:

    I said the same thing earlier in this thread. And it is not only the whole texas trip, it has been noted elsewhere that she went on a long, tough hike.

    The announcement that the daughter is preggers will squash the baby-gate rumors. Now if anything else is questioned about Palin’s actions during her pregnancy will quickly painted as more rumor-mongering and the MSM will have to ignore it.

  180. BillyT

    [re=77183]MBSF[/re]: Hey: Eagleton lasted two weeks and two days before he stepped down. I give Sarah Palin about ten more days.

  181. BillyT

    [re=77201]smellyal8r[/re]:

    Dude, no one saw any sign of Palin’s labor pains on the flight back to AK from TX because, she explains, she was having Immaculate Contractions.

  182. BillyT

    So the best they can come up with:

    “Bristol Palin WASN’T pregnant with Trig because she IS now pregnant!!”

    Kinda like saying

    “I didn’t rob the 7-Eleven because I was robbing the Qwik-E Mart at the same time!”

    Stay the course, people: you got something going with this Sarah-Palin-Not-Pregnant story.

    How DO we know if Bristol is really 5 months pregnant? Maybe she’s only 3 months? Maybe she is only pretend-pregnant and will have a pretend-miscarriage in one month and then all evidence is wiped out?

    I give Palin one more week….she will be gone and McCain is toast at this point.

    Funny how they picked today to announce this who-knows-if-it’s-true story, when they were hoping Gustav would be the top news. Gustav didn’t turn into a Katrina and now we got time on our hands picking their flimsy story apart.

  183. tocute2btrue

    Sadly, I wish I could have chosen Palin insted of Joe Homo Obiden.
    Hillary thinks the end is comming.

  184. dcuervo

    Both Webster’s and OED accept “Down’s Syndrome”–in fact, it is the first choice of OED. Perhaps Wonkette will eat crow, with a generous helping of humble pie for dessert, and apologize? Don’t hold your breath …

  185. easilydistracted

    I had a downs (yes I said downs) syndrome baby when I was 26. I also had my labor induced with all 5 of my children. I am 44. So it’s not unheard of to have labor induced when you’ve had more than 2-3 kids..

    This is what happens (Bristols pregnancy) when you are raised in a family that doesn’t believe in sex education and believes abstinence is the ‘only way’. Dumb asses…so much for the purity ring.

    I’m not sure why everyone proclaims she was so brave to ‘go ahead with her pregnancy with Trig’. I know from first hand experience that I found out via Amnio that my daughter (who later died at 8 mths. due to a uncorrectable heart defect) had downs syndrome. By the time I found out I was 6 1/2 months.. to late to have an abortion. Yes I asked.
    Most amnios aren’t given until later in the pregnancy. You have to wait a couple of weeks for the results.
    That is why I found out about CVS…chorion villus sampling that can be done at 9-12 weeks of pregnancy. I had this done at the Univ. Texas Health Science Center while pregnant with my last 2 children.

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