Wonkette
This morning we were watching the Fox News as Karl Rove tried to explain why Sarah Palin was really the perfect vice president for MAVERICK McCain: because she is a Maverick too, and now they can both be Mavericks together in the snowy hills of the last outpost of the Russian empire, Alaska. Then a bunch of big journalists came on and talked about how they all have “egg on their face” for being so preoccupied with Pawlenty and Romney etc. the past few weeks instead of some beautiful nobody from the North. The question is, should the entire mainstream media be lined up against a wall, shot, and sent in ten envelopes to St. Paul because they did not seriously entertain the idea of John McCain picking a harmless local politician for nomination to the second-highest office in the land?
(Oh yes that is a picture of your editors in where was it, some town in Nebraska, drinking corn-based ethanol in a bar.)
It is hilarious to see these national newspaper reporters flagellating themselves for their terrible failure. What kind of boob assumes that John McCain would take the vice presidential vetting process, you know, seriously? Nope, instead he did what many politicians before him should have done: asked himself what selection would generate maximum traffic for Wonkette.
That’s the “maverick” way of due diligence. If he wins, Cabinet level posts will be determined by sweepstakes. I’m sending in my application for Labor, Treasury, and HUD via pone express!
I love it. Wonkette was the leading media authority on McCain’s Vice Presidential pick.
McCain made an excellent choice for Vice Presidential running mate. Sure she has less that 2 years experience as a governor and prior to that was the mayor of a small town that had less residents than an average community college has students. And sure, McCain had to go all the way to an obscure part of Alaska to find her, but she is the least corrupt Republican out there. At the moment, she is under only ONE investigation for ethics violation… at this precise moment. For a Republican candidate, she’s a saint.
Besides that, she is a loving mother, and probable grandmother if the rumors are true.
Awww. Well, that’s a far better use for corn ethanol than in cars, so kill some more brain cells!
Aren’t you guys already punishing yourselves by being in Nebraska? That’s enough, guys, you’ve done your time…come on back. And promise to make better wild speculations in the future.
Newell is fat
BigDupa: More likely that cabinet positions will be determined by beauty pageants since that is usually the criteria he uses to pick wives and running mates.
And people were wondering why the Library of Congress wants to archive this site…. Clearly Wonkette’s long history of GILF news made it the clearinghouse for all “Gidget Goes to Washington” background. You can scrub Wikipedia but you can’t scrub Wonkette.
Based on what I’ve seen of Fox News, I don’t think you’re allowed to be a non-Fox member of the MSM and not curse your name and the names of your parents unto the seventh generation for being a horrible human being. Also, smile when your segment gets interrupted for a high-speed chase.
In other news, heard a really funny joke the other day:
Sarah Palin.
They should have noticed the way he looked at her. Like when she started blowing him.
Jingo: I’m putting even odds on the rumors being true.
It’s actually kind of a shame she got called the big dance so early. Without this absolutely insane VP pick, I would have said she’d make it until next September before she’s caught soliciting sex in a women’s room. Those wacky fundies!
John McCain broke Wonkette on Friday. That may have been his real goal, evil genius that he is. Also, it’s amazing how much more relaxed and at home Jim and Sara look in a dingy tavern than outdoors exposed to sunlight.
…as much as it PAINS me, I’m going to have to defend the media on this one. This Palin pick was done out of sheer hysteria and desperation caused by Barry’s Thursday night speech. If the media started reporting on possible candidates based on Sara Palin’s likeliness/odds of being chosen for VP then they would be covering city dog catchers and presidents of homeowner associations.
Sara K. Smith actually resembles Sarah Palin a bit. Similar glasses and, well, they’re both girls. Congratulations on making it through Nebraska.
Strictly for the Tardcore: Bwa haha! *snort!* STOP! I…Can’t…Breathe!
I am so over the word “maverick” right now. I may pull an Elvis on my television, on the occasion of the next tired (and inaccurate) use of that word.
Votes for words to mentally substitute any time they drag out the “maverick”? “Pinhead”? “Loser”? “Cross-dresser”? I’ll take anything, at this point.
gurukalehuru: I’d like to make retarded babies with Sara K. Smith.
Sarah Palin: We Must Drill Here, We Must Drill Now!
….i wonder if she smells like salmon…
Jingo: Then I got nothing. And I was going to offer to change his diapers. Screw you, beautiful people. Newell and I will be just fine, thank you very much.
Strictly for the Tardcore: HA! I am stealing that joke. Will give credit.
Does anyone remember Joe Scarborough’s reaction to the Friday morning speculation that it was Palin? He was completely adamant that the choice was so illogical and risky that it couldn’t possibly be true. It’s really unfair to Joe that his first moment of honest, clear thinking turned out to be mistaken.
I can’t wait to see Sarah at Ground Zero, rockin’ the waders, rifle in one hand, shovel in the other, 12 black babies on her back
gurukalehuru: Just add a banana clip updo and a huge sparkly, sparkly flag pin and our beloved Sara could walk the convention floor like that British Phelps look-alike in China. The interviews should be hilarious. Just keep repeating, “Now exactly what does the VP do?”, Sara. I hear there are tons of free drinks in it for you. Some inappropriate handsy action from the icky old guys, but a whole lotta drinks.
It was pretty crazy on here Friday. I guess Wonkette is where a lot of people turn in times of crisis.
itgetter: Yeah, the saddest thing about the Scarborough thing is that it’s negative reinforcement; he now associates clear, logical thinking with failure and humiliation.
Jim, would it kill you to smile?
Yes, Friday I had a BAD case of teh crazy. I probably refreshed Our Wonkette 30 times a minute. I’m still a little worried. I started reading Fear and Loathing on the Campaign Trail ‘72, which probably isn’t helping.
Strictly for the Tardcore: Nah, y’all missed Joe’s earlier (non-political) truth tellin’ the day before. The head NBC/weatherdude showed up somewhere on the Gulf coast. Joe said (paraphrase),”All the folks in hurricane prone areas know that when (NBCweatherdude) shows up in their town, time to pack the minivan, grab the kids, dog and cat and get out of dodge.” Note: No republican pol in these areas thought to share this lil bit of wisdom with, say, Micheal Chertoff and W before Katrina.
The Incomparable Tiny Valdez: Yes, those bitter over their VP candidate looking less sexy cling to Wonkette and booze.
How could anyone really have predicted that he would pick the Mayor of South Park for VP? And from what I am reading of the kids, they sound like South Park characters themselves… Juvie, Pillow, Cristal, Pistol and Tard. We’ve been Maver-rick-rolled.
I’m a little worried about the Republicans cancelling the convention for this hurricane. Remember four years ago when Cheney and whatsisname were talking about cancelling the elections ’cause of the big important war? This seems like cancellation practice or something. And while the elections aren’t during hurrican season, I’m sure they can scare up a bad snowstorm or a dog with the mange as an excuse.
…judging by every other thread, I wonder how long before someone posts a comment calling us “sexist”?! When everyone goes after WALNUTS! for being cagillion years old and senile no one says a damn thing, because its true. When people go after Clarence Thomas calling him unqualified to be a justice, I don’t scream racism because it fukkin true. But now when people say Sara Palin isn’t qualified to be VP, all of a sudden all the misandrist come out of the wood work. Face it she isn’t Hillary Clinton who has 30(+) years of experience so why is it sexist to point it out? Maybe it because some people point out that she is attractive? So what!?!?! People point out that WALNUTS! looks like the crypt keeper all the time or that Cindy McCains face has been stretched tighter than snare drum! But I never hear anyone call sexism when those comment are made.
AngryBlakGuy: Someone, Canmon aka probably Tony the Tiger did call us sexist. Already happened.
AngryBlakGuy: people are already calling Dems mean and sexist.
AngryBlakGuy: Angry, this is AMURRIKA. If you don’t like someone’s conclusion, you must be a racist or a sexist.
“… should the entire mainstream media be lined up against a wall, shot, and sent in ten envelopes to St. Paul [?]“
Yes. Absolutely. Shoot them bastards.
AngryBlakGuy: I completely agree. And as a proud vagina American, maybe this is a situation where we need more women speaking up over Palin’s lack of qualification to be one last bout of cancer away from the presidency. Can’t call it sexism if the boobie owners are the ones attacking.
Of course, instead, they’ll just say we’re jealous of the prom queen. Either way you look at it, there’s a comeback. Sucks. Unqualified and untested is what it is, whether it’s in a dress or a Windsor-knot tie.
Y’all think this is some kind of joke. Sexist or not, McCain’s brilliant choice completely wrested the Britney/Paris bloc from BO and he’s got nothing left. Obama is now the second-biggest celebrity in the world.
Ha ha, I love that Sara looks so fresh-faced and cheerful and Jim looks like he’s just coming down from an eleven-hour Nyquil bender.
The thought of Todd playing Guitar Hero in his underwear at Number One Observatory Circle is equally horrifying.
AngryBlakGuy: As a founding member of VUMA, I agree that people have been defining sexism very loosely of late. Calling Palin unqualified is not sexist; It’s fact. However, some of the other snark being tossed her way is sexist. But Wonkette is equal opportunity offensive and I’m not sure I care all that much.
AngryBlakGuy: in the teevee ads the WALNUTS! people usually put in one shot of him from when he was young and hot to remind people that he was once young and hot, because well, that is to his credit as a human, right? looks greatly impact one’s ability to govern in america, so while he is the crypt keeper now, he gets some kind of credit for once having been one of the beautiful people.
worst possible outcome of a palin vice-presidency? women who emulate her will inevitably be called Palindrones. (heh heh)
Gimmeabreak: Britney was already voting for Johnny WalNUTS!. Him and Bush are so much alike, she can’t tell them apart!!
Ba-dump-*PSH*
Strictly for the Tardcore: If you made $700,000+ a month in royalties for some shitty pop music you did back in your teens you’d probably vote Republican too.
itgetter: Exactly. We’re equal opportunity snark, around here. Who doesn’t love a good penis joke? And for the most part, the GOP really is one big penis joke, anyway. Pity it isn’t a funnier joke, though.
Is the guy in the picture Dave Thomas, formerly one of the McKenzie brothers from the Great White North movie? He was quite funny. I see him on youtube and still chuckle. Ha ha…I’m chuckling now.
If I tried to watch Fox News in the morning, I’d probably start drinking again, too. I’m getting thirsty just writing about it.
Sara is rockin’ the Tina Fey thing.
Rock on, our sexy siren.
This is what it is. The Republicans seem to think that Barack and Hillary are just any black man and woman, respectively. The Republicans think that Hillary and Barack got to the top of the political game based on their race and sex alone. What the GOP doesn’t understand, and never has, is that for Barack and Hillary to get where they are, they had to be BETTER than all of the old, white men that came before them. Barack and Hillary had to be BETTER than everyone else just to get a shot. Barack and Hillary are intelligent, talented, and two of the greatest politicians we have today regardless of race or sex.
McCain choose Sarah Palin just as the Illinois GOP chose Alan Keyes to run against Barack in the 2004 Illinois Senate Race. The Illinois GOP chose Alan Keyes because he was black. It didn’t matter that Alan Keyes was unlikeable, aloof, crazy, unknown, underqualified, and extremely right wing. All that mattered was the color of his skin. That’s racism. That’s insulting. It said that in the eyes of the GOP, Barack Obama’s political rise had nothing to do with his content or his character, but only the color of his skin. Barack Obama went on to WIPE THE FLOOR with Alan Keyes on Election Day. Why? Because Barack was the real deal and Alan Keyes was a hack.
John McCain’s selection of Sarah Palin is an attempt to channel Hillary Clinton and her supporters. This is insulting and akin to swapping out filet mingon for road kill and asking the same price. It highlights how out of touch McCain and the GOP are, because it suggests that any woman could do what Hillary did. This is not the case; Sarah Palin isn’t fit to wipe Hillary Clinton’s boots.
And finally, this tells us what kind of Commander-in-Chief John McCain would make. For when he faced his first Presidential decision, who he would select as Second-in-Command, he selects someone vastly underqualified just to get votes. Lest we forget the Mondale/Ferrero ticket, those votes aren’t even guaranteed. Furthermore, John McCain is already 72; there is a good chance that if he were elected he wouldn’t live to finish his term. McCain would leave the country in the hands of an incompetent novice just to get into office. His VP selection is an insult to the Presidency and the American people.
kellygrrrl: …if I was a woman I would be insulted that the Republican chose Sara Palin. Meanwhile they are dislocating their own shoulders to pat themselves on the back for choosing a person with a uterus. Sara Palin is the text book definition of a TOKEN, just like Clarence Thomas is! Its a way for the Republicans to say “we aren’t racist/sexist”, when they truly are. The irony is despite all the railing Republicans do against affirmative action they are ones that believe in it the most!!! Sara Palin is a sycophant that wouldn’t have been chosen as a VP if it wasn’t for the fact she is a woman. Clarence Thomas is an unqualified ideologue who was chosen to replace Thurgood Marshall only on the criteria of his skin. But Republicans will always refer to these “history making events” as an example of their inclusiveness, all the while blaming affirmative action for all of the “white mans burdens”!
OK, this is the big rumor goin’ round…
http://www.bristolpalinpregnant.com/
I think Megan Mullally should star in this for SHOWTIME/HBO. her handlers should jump on this pronto. just saying.
Vanity Smurf: “Gidget Goes to Washington”
Well done. A meme is born.
NoWireHangers: what. ever. cocktails anyone?
Which one is Sara?
The 3-Legged Man:
“Take Off to the Great White North” by Geddy Lee and the McKenzie Brothers is now offcially Sarah Palin’s theme song.
NoWireHangers: …ditto!
AngryBlakGuy: EXACTLY! Which is why the GOP makes your head explode. They deride Affirmative Action, but are Affirmative Actions largest practioners. They are the ones giving Affirmative Action a bad name.
“She’s my sister!” SLAP!
“She’s my daughter!” SLAP!
I think I’ve seen this movie before.
stew: That picture is a little odd, but we’ll all feel like assholes if Bristol is just fat.
How dare the MSM pay attention to people who are qualified to be president instead of someone that has no opinion about the war in Iraq.
Clearly, McCain doesn’t want someone that can be president, he wanted someone who was pretty that would say what she was told. Why didn’t the MSM realize that McCain was so patronizing.
Just curious what your traffic is on most fridays before 3 day weekends
echoman2000: …I’ll Vodka and Orange juice, hold the Orange juice!
stew: I live in Wisconsin, and that could be a baby bump BUT in the northern climes our young’ins store up fat for wintertime and develop a “muffin top” of deliciously white fat that spills over the tops of their inappropriately lowcut blue jeans.
So, Bristol may not have a bun in the oven so much as be a muffin. A delicious underage jailbaitberry muffin.
AngryBlakGuy: You all are making me queasy; I already threw up once this morning, and I don’t know that I want to do it again.
AngryBlakGuy: Mimosa’s and THE NEW ADVENTURES OF WONDER WOMAN. Heaven.
RuperttheBear: We’d know it was muffin top for sure if she was also wearing dirty white platform flip-flops.
Aww. I think wonkette has the cutest little bloggers in the entire internets. You would all make lovely vice presidents.
Also, I may have been responsible for at least 100,000 of those page views. Palin made me have a serious nutty. Apparently, wonkette is where one turns in a snark crisis.
RuperttheBear: …never has pedophilia been described to me in way that makes me hungry before. You my friend, have a gift!
There’s a reasonably dispassionate rundown of the Palin “my brother in-law is a meanie” scandal in the WashPo: http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/08/30/AR2008083002366.html?nav=hcmodule
Not sure if their login process makes that a workable link or not. But I think there’s enough smoke in the article to make a pretty good case that Palin is likely to have to spend precious time at least trying to keep tabs on problems back home (regardless of where the truth lies). Well, that and insisting abstinence only sex ed works, while raising her granddaughter.
NoWireHangers: …remember my mantra: “Hangovers are for people stupid enough to STOP drinking!”
Why does Jesus not allow condoms in Alaska?
People, People! Can we really blame the poor girl? I mean, what else is there to DO up there? I mean, I suppose she could have taken up binge drinking, but hunting is not white-female-chrishchun-proper up thars. I mean, would you rather she do it with other girls?
Imagine mom explaining THAT one away….
“Oh I was the one who lezzed out that girl, so lemme ’splain. I was drunk, and it was a dare! I then promptly went home and got impregnated by my STRAIGHT husband! My new retard baby is due in 2 months!”
Really serious guy on youtube outlines preggogate with pictures and stuff…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EnBjwZ93n6Q&eurl=http://nowtodaynews.blogspot.com/2008/08/bristol-palin-pregnancy-is-bristol.html
If the baby does indeed have down syndrome, could that be a sign of inbreeding? This story gets white trasher every minute!
NoWireHangers: Well said, sister!
NoWireHangers: I’d ditto you but ABG already did. Yup, appointing Sarah Palin is sexist; saying she’s unqualified is not.
I’m hoping the rumors about AKTroopergate and 1stDudeZippergate are true, so no one feels the need to drag out the stuff about DD and DB (dear baby) into the light of the MSM. A titillating tale, ’tis true (if true) but how is a 17 year old girl brought up by a rabid fundy mom supposed to have “fun” w/o getting knocked up?
Also, any of you Alaskan types know–the oldest DD and DS finished HS, yes? Is there not this thing called “higher education” (ie, college) that many of our “smarter” pols expect their kiddies to pursue? Hey, I’m just nosy, but all my fellow Mom’s w/kids that age are waxing eloquent about dorm assigns at at least second tier schools, not how their 18 year old is shoving off for Iraq.**
**No shame in serving country, DH is a 30 yr retired military officer. I’d still prefer my kid to go to college first.
AngryBlakGuy: At least I have Our Wonkette to soothe the burn of bile in my throat. Puking into my bedroom trashcan after a night of serious drinking tells me that I am young and that I’ve “still got it”. Why, I might even be qualified to be Vice President…
That chart really does say it all though. The news was so absurd that the only thing anybody could think to do was come to Wonkette to read a lot of hilarious snark. We went multi-platinum on Friday and “Gidget Goes to Washington” is the gift that keeps on giving.
Every reporter with a TV camera is out for Sister Sarah’s scalp with visions of Tim-meh taking down David Duke in their heads. Everybody wants to lob the question that makes her implode.
HomoPolitico: Tastes likes chicken.
Wonkette/Palin ‘08!
Two Mavericks, huh?
O.K., then which is Bret and which is Bart?
Just asking for the over 50 crowd.
For the under 40 group, which is the anti-semite drunk?
Oh, both huh?
Again, just asking……..
Jerry w
http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com
I am thinking that Sarah Palin may be the new Segolene Royal. Or Carla Bruni. Same kind of initial optics…
Jingo:
Talk about damning with faint praise:
“McCain had to go all the way to an obscure part of Alaska to find her, but she is the least corrupt Republican out there.”
Sort of like the pride in being voted least odious skunk, me thinks.
Vanity Smurf: Pleez! Gidget was from CALIFORNIA and SURFED. She must be a Dem! This is Marge Gunderson Goes to DC at best!
I am thinking this bar chart reminds me of past boyfriends.
Jim= Alcohol poisoning
Sara= EILF
“GILF”, “Gidget goes to Washington”= Priceless…
jerryw: I actually know a few folks who knew JSM back in the day (firstwifeytime). And he loves him some Joe Liberman. I don’t think he’s an anti-semite. A fourstar SOB in his personal life, a misgynist, and just a down right cranky old man who is getting a big time pass because of the POW status, youbetcha, but not an anti-semite.
I’m now thinking this rumor may have an “All in the Family” subtext. Either dad or the brother being shipped off to Iraq. Do they also eat possum stew?
Wagamuffin: No way. Sarah hasn’t one tenth the looks or class of these ladies. Now, if ya want to talk overage Texas trophy ex-wife beauty queen currently living in trailer park while waiting for large alimony award/third and richer husband, you’d have something.
stew: Are possums dumb/warm enough to live in AK. See “MOOSE”
shoeho: Gidget was from Orange County and was a good girl and did what daddy wanted in the end. That’s no Dem.
Vanity Smurf: Good point. I bet she didn’t inhale, either.
Carol McCain — swimsuit model
Cindy McCain — rodeo queen
Sarah Palin — Pageant queen
Would somebody tell me which is Holly, which is Bridget, and which is Kendra?
Oh, and what the f*ck is a snowmachine? Snowmobile, I know, even though I’m from the state that f*cked up the 2000 election.
shoeho: I WAS talking trailer trash. Carla Bruni fits. Segolene plays the new female, pretty pol who is mistaken for a Texas trophy ex-wife beauty queen currently living in trailer park while waiting for large alimony award/third and richer husband. And then she surprises everyone.
Check out her Wiki and see the similiarites. Except for the socialist thing.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/S%C3%A9gol%C3%A8ne_Royal
RuperttheBear: The age of consent in Alaska is 14 (intra-family).
shoeho:
Missed my lane change, did ya?
The anti-semite I was hinting to was the actor that played Bart
(or was that Bret?) in the feature film “Maverick”. I think it was
before Christ was a corporal. As for McDustfarts, maybe he was
into dining Kosher, if you get my drift.
In fact, two questions for B.O. to ask in the first debate:
1. Do you remember your first blow job?
2. What did it taste like?
Gotta go now…….
Jerry w
http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com
I can only assume that Kim Kardashian turned down McCain. Probably too much of a “celebrity”, anyway.
American Apparel and their Oxford Shirt thank you, John McCain.
jerryw: Ohhhhh! That guy! ***must have more vodka***
Oh, noes! Cindy better get out the vicodin. It looks like Walnuts! wants to boink Palin.
Where are Jenna/Not Jenny during all this fun? Practicing birth control? Sluts!
Ugh. On a “serious” note, this must be the Worst. Veepick. Ever. If John McCain is going to challenge Obama’s readiness to be president, shouldn’t he pick a VP who has some more experience in government? I mean, I’m not *saying* that Palin isn’t ready to be President, it’s just so easy to make a case that she isn’t. I think Walnuts needs a new campaign manager (again (again (again))).
Newell looks d-runk.
In fact, I’d bet he is.
Sara looks, um, well, photogenic.
And here he ischecking out her form. I guess mooseburgers are better than 8 houses.
Wagamuffin: Hmm, I do see the similarity. I still think Carla and Solene have a certain je ne se quoi that Sarah lacks. Perhaps still, the website that christened her the GILF (I’m waiting until 5 November to decide if Wonkette should be praised for giving us so many laffs or well, not for sticking us with this disaster for four years)could start the rumor that she is **shudder** French. Personally, I think they do pretty well on the wine (non-box), cheeezystuff and perfume thing, but the R’s seem to have a real problem with ‘em!
The Bristol/Babygate thing is spreading like wildfire. If it gets into the MSM and she has to start denying it, it will be insane. Please MSM!!! Teen pregnancy! Tasers! Moose poaching! Bitter custody battles! Give us more!
NSRose: No, it’s pretty damned obvious she isn’t ready. She might have been one day, but no one thinks she’d be the GOP pick for pres if Walnuts! dropped dead tomorrow.
Maybe if the baby spends the next five and half years in a cage…
The Incomparable Tiny Valdez: If Babygate gets into the MSM, it might be the first solid evidence I’ve ever seen that there is a God. The case doesn’t even have to be court-worthy, it just has to sound solid enough that ONE of the major news outlets picks it up, and then we get to see the InterTubes ‘SPLODE.
Gopherit v2.0: So, everybody, on the hypothetical: Johnny WalNUTS! drops dead tomorrow — good thing or bad thing?
This Wootengate thing is looking pretty bad for her, per the WaPo article…
Gopherit v2.0: Re-roll/edit “3 a.m. phone call” b-roll, for Palin…she’s probably up pumping breast milk for T.P.V. (née Halen) Palin, natch…
Strictly for the Tardcore: Well, he isn’t the official nominee yet, so they’d have to do a roll call vote at the convention. So it should default to… Huckabee? He has the next highest number of delegates. Although they’d most likely skip over him for Mittens, which would make my LIFE. Or I suppose the delegates could nominate a wild card at the convention instead. In any case, EXCITING and probably bad for the Repubs.
shoeho: This, of course, would be the ultimate irony. French Eskimo. Freedom Blubber!
What does the vice president do? Well, if it’s VP Palin, begin each day by holding a mirror under McCain’s nose and, if it doesn’t fog, call somebody to give you the oath of office.
Do any of our fearless editors look like Simply Red???
http://www.theage.com.au/ffximage/mickhucknall_wideweb__470×336,2.jpg
Strictly for the Tardcore: I have a 12 year old bottle of Irish for just such an occasion.
Crazy but not the crazy YOUTUBE on Bristol’s prenancy rumor.
y’know what they did to paul newman in, sweet bird of youth. will the gop do the same to the mystery father of the mystery baby.
echoman2000: …isn’t that what they do with retarded kids anyway?!
WadISay: “Uh, this is Sarah Palin. Um… President McCain doesn’t seem to be breathing. Can we set up a date for my oath of office?”
“… what’s a Sarah Palin?”
HEY, lookie what John Bush and George McCain were doing exactly 3 years ago
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_1xQeOPE9ePU/SLmpSs5mamI/AAAAAAAAByU/juS3peXChl8/s1600-h/katrinamccainbday.jpg
Strictly for the Tardcore: …trust me if the “National Enquirer” covered the Edward debacle with as little evidence as they had, then this will be hitting the tabloids in 5…4…3…2…1
AngryBlakGuy: Only Republican retarded kids. Can’t have them spoiling the gene pool.
RuperttheBear: Best. Conspiracy. Theory. Evah!
Cogito Ergo Bibo: you are right its not sexism its sexy, CAT FIGHT CAT FIGHT i have a kidde pool who has a ton of red jello?
AngryBlakGuy: True enough… is the Enquirer looking into this yet?
Buttsecks is the answer to everything. It’s safe, fun and effective — no babies. A little head will do it too.
re views: over 38000 on one item alone on friday. arianna, watch out.
IT’S ALIVE!
itgetter: …Republicans use “Group Think” so frankly I wouldn’t be surprised if they refuse to nominate him or in the case of WALNUTS! going to the great big POW camp in the sky they would probably go with Romney because he has the most Reagan-esque hair!
NoWireHangers: right you are. Hillary is amazing compared to this hack. I never gave her credit as I luv Barry
Yes, the Enquirer is reportedly all over this.
RuperttheBear: As much as I love this video, the thing that pushes it over the top is the infomercial-meets-video-revealing-the-conspiracy-in-a-Hollywood-thriller aesthetic that this guy uses.
Friday WAS platinum!! Aww, plaudits!
Very quiet now by comparison. In fact there have been no mason-illuminati helicopter gunship convoys overhead ALL DAY. There’s usually a couple annoying the bikers on the C&O Canal trail on Sundays. Makes the crows all flap about like an audition for The Birds II.
NoWireHangers: Right on. I couldn’t have said better myself.
Strictly for the Tardcore: …I think all of the mainstream media outlets are afraid to touch it at this point because of the whole NY Times debacle earlier this year. But once it breaks everyone will cover it. I’m confident that the tabloids are already off and running on this story.
TPM slamma jammina on Troopergate. Audio files of political pressure phone calls. Schwing!
Strictly for the Tardcore: Agreed, it ain’t perfect, but a struggling screen writer/actor/waitstaff person who really wants to direct (that’s how he strikes me) has to start somewhere.
ReelectTilden: Nope we won’t feel like idiots if Bristol is just fat. Because that proves a pro-lifer is willing to endanger her pregancy to fly from Dallas to Alaska for no logical reason. If Sarah’s willing to do that to her son, what’s she willing to do to military personnel who she isn’t related to when she’s in charge?
No matter how this story turns out, Sarah’s bad newz
AngryBlakGuy: As soon as they can safely report, “The (fill in blank w/almost tabloid name) is reporting….” they’ll go for it, not before. I’m betting on the NY POST or other Murdockesque “publication.” Enquirer is a little too down market–of course, in Sarah’s family, it’s probably considered a cross between WaPo and NYT.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qnba1AKwmxE&NR=1
AngryBlakGuy: They are using the word dismisive.
Gopherit v2.0: And they are quickly wrestled away from her by Laura Bush. Cindy and Laura, the only 2 women in America that make the Queen look sober.
Stew: So the maven of maverick has a son/grandson Bristol muffin whose daddy is his mama’s daddy? This brave little lady is skating on some thing ice…
http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y65/Savagehero/vagina.jpg
hatlesshead: Downside of buttsecks: the afterfart. What a way to harsh a buzz. The blowback is nasty. I understand that the catholics approve of this method, but that’s strictly for nuns and altar boys.
LittlePhatGuise: They’re building an army! An army of well-dressed pod people!
Say what’s this story on Daily Kos about Palin’s baby being her daughter’s? Is this nonsense? Anyone?
Getting back to the wildly irresponsible points being made on Juan’s judgment, so he picks Palin to the fury and incomprehension of the repub elites, what’s he going to do on the legislative side? Insist the program is re-prioritized to some truly bizarro issues up front and center?
Early picks:
Porn finance reform
Right to SUVs Constitutional Amendment
Privatization of the DC Circuit Court of Appeals
MISTAHCOUGHDROP: The Daily Kos thing is probably defamatory, since it states things as facts. The youtube video is actually well done, though the pictures of the daughter don’t seem persuasive. The daughter is fairly well known as having been pregnant, at least a few months ago. It’s not really likely that Palin would be so fearful of public reaction to her daughter’s pregnancy that she’d concoct a fake pregnancy of her own. Her approval ratings in Alaska are higher than any politician could ever dream of, and even if it leaked that she had Obama’s kid she’d still have higher ratings than W on his best day.
Even if Babygate turns out to be an urban myth, she was proven to be a liar on her first day out of the gate. Something tells me Nanook of the North is going home very soon.
Fun facts about Sarah Palin:
1.) Lists the Aurora Borealis as an alternative energy source.
2.) Has a private compound in the Aleutian Islands where she hunts humans for sport.
3.) While ungainly and awkward on land, she is graceful in the frigid waters of the Arctic Circle where she communicates via “song” and hunts for food using echolocation.
4.) Beat the Soviet Union in hockey at the 1984 Winter Olympics.
5.) Ran for Governor on the platform: “Always Winter, Never Christmas.”
6.) Has 100 words for “snow.”
7.) Has only one natural predator: man.
AngryBlakGuy: Republicans use “Group Think”
Thank god Gen Y exists! I’m happy its choice is Obama.
Can’t wait to see every documentation of the voting process, because of course like a baby, every tiny suburban bound foot that creeps into adulthood warrants a bigcelebration! on Myspace!
Yay! You fucking voted!
Strictly for the Tardcore: If mcnasty keels over they can bring in that Keyes guy to replace him–if memory serves didn’t he snap up a damn respectable .001% against our boy in the Ill senate race?
Dramatist: 8.) Considers herself a feminist while vehemently opposing Roe v. Wade
McWalnuts melts down on Fox News:
MCCAIN: Yes, the pork barrel project — a $233 million bridge in Alaska to an island with 50 people on it. She, as governor, stood up and said, “We don’t need it. And if we need it, we’ll pay for it ourselves.” Now, that’s — that’s guts. I saw that, and I said, this — this is what we need in Washington.
Yes, McNuts..that’s how it went…well, either that or she told the people of that area during the gov campaign that she supported the bridge without reservation.
Read the transcript of the hilarious Chris Wallace interview at: http://embeds.blogs.foxnews.com/2008/08/31/mccain-talks-palin-on-fox-news-sunday/
Suspicion of senile dementia? Nah…couldn’t be….
Sarah Palin might be the sexiest VP in any country at any time. Whoa!: http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_LkpwxhCxaXg/SLrO7BiQQcI/AAAAAAAAAAU/Mu8-K8aVHUU/s1600-h/sarah-palin-nude.jpg
The fourth photo is the payoff. Mother, child, bloody caribou corpse.
HomoPolitico: Salmon: The other pink meat.
Strictly for the Tardcore: If WALNUTS! croaks before the RNC, they’ll need to redo the whole nominating campaign. I honestly don’t know if I can take an autumn filled with Mitt’n'Huck commercials as the fight for the privilege of being the crown prince of the kingdom of mouth-breathers. I’d rather have WALNUTS! lose miserably to Barry and then slouch off to one of his 172 compounds, where he can rail at clouds all day.
Anyone want to do an over/under on when Cindy cuts McLumpy loose once it becomes clear that he cannot make her FLOTUS? I’ll give her until the end of 2009.
FLOTUS? Isn’t that what you find in the pool in the morning?
That graph looks like my blog whenever a famous hooker dies. Only with about 3 or 4 fewer zeroes. Wonkette owns the Sarah Palin story. You guys need to be doing the Sunday talker circuit.
My friend’s husband came home from the plant where he works and announced that he’s very concerned about McCain’s pick. The gentlemen at the factory all feel that she is both pro-union and totally hot, and that is all they need.
If only the DNC knew it, they could have nominated Laverne and Shirley years ago.
Well, most folks are scared to discuss the qualifications of the Republican Prom Queen with a litter. I mean, who wants to be insensitive about this ponytailed hottie with a handicapped infant? The guys are drooling - fantasies of this camo queen tearing thru some national park on a snowmobile with her pony tail flying and her tiara reflecting the light off the beam. An infant seat strapped to her side with the last of the litter in camo, too. Probably imagining Pony Tailed Hottie with n AK47 shooting straight up while she terrorizes the woodland creatures on race winning machine. This woman has it all - she’s Dick Cheney with the ability to replicate herself - FIVE TIMES. Think of that - a self reproducing VP! This woman can give a speech and produce another Republican at the same time - just watch the water bag leak right down her leg during the speech wrap-up. Probably tore the umbilical cord off with her teeth before gargling and making another speech. This is tough the way only a Republican woman can be tough. Kill ‘em. Drill ‘em. Spread ‘Em. Everybody’s dream date - if you’re into horror shows, that is.
I think she kind of channels the Sherrif from Fargo. Which is cool,but perhaps not the way to choose the potential leader of the free world.
Dildo Cereal: Jeez, is that the best you can do? Welcome to Wonkette, Trig Palin.
MISTAHCOUGHDROP: Holly moose! And that’s her look when she was 7-month pregnant!
Someone should tell Cindy (the current Mrs. McCain) that she should never EVER stand right next to the Prom Queen. Makes her (potential First Lady) look like one of the mummies they found in the Andes Mountains - she needs to keep some distance from this hottie. Maybe she should just stop tagging along all together.
I didn’t realize that Sara looks like Tina Fey. I’m not interested in women (for dating, that is), but if I was I would date Tina Fey. Or maybe Sara.
I can’t look at pictures of WALNUTS! and the GILF together. The father/daughter thing creeps me out. How old is Cindy? I bet she’s 70, trying to look 44. Ha ha this must be KILLING her. I think I know what it’s time for…
Hmm, editor Sara is kinda hot. The one on the left.
Pee Wee Herman had prior commitments.
If you scroll by it quickly with the little rolly thingy on the mouse, it looks like the chart is flipping someone off.
Thanks a lot. I found this site this morning and wasted most of the day looking at it. Curse the Internets and curse Al Gore for inventing them.
“should the entire mainstream media be lined up against a wall, shot….”
Yes, along with all Bush appointees, every member of Congress and every member of the Supreme Court. Grind the remains up and make it into puppy chow.
Dildo Cereal: There used to be a saying, that being in Nebraska is like being hanged: at first it’s a shock, but after a while you get used to it!
I hate you, Wonkette. Your site traffic gives me wet dreams. Well, I’m on antidepressants, so that’s an exaggeration. But still…