About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

View all articles by Jim Newell


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  • BigDupa

    To be fair and balanced, will there be a picture of Willis and Mr. Drummond coming from the Republican?

  • ManchuCandidate


  • EnBuenOra

    I knew someone would be doing this.

  • SuperRounder

    [re=75630]BigDupa[/re]: Or at least a picture of Richard Pryor and Gene Wilder

  • liquiddaddy

    Obviously, they both have tremendous experience.

  • Strictly for the Tardcore

    Why doesn’t this post have an “EPIC WIN” tag?

  • AnnieGetYourFun


  • mr.november

    McCains new slogan: Cuntry first.

  • dcgrrl

    I beg your pardon. I knew Anna Nicole Smith. Sarah Palin is no Anna Nicole Smith.

  • tunamelt

    New facebook pic. Finally something that can replace Michael Phelps junk.

  • Cape Clod

    That picture always rekindles my belief that true love exists.

  • tunamelt

    [re=75636]EnBuenOra[/re]: I made a joke about the old millionaire and the stripper wife but I’m too lazy to photoshop anything, so I appreciate this.

  • CthuNHu

    To appeal to elderly veterans across America, underneath “McCain(star)Palin,” you should really put the slogan “Get Some!”

  • greatgooglymoogly

    Pure fucking genius.

  • Whiskeybaby

    [re=75655]Cape Clod[/re]: Nothing can restore your faith in the goodness of humanity quite like a gold digger waiting for her cadaver-esque husband to die. Makes your heart melt!

  • Scarab

    OMG, are they posing on a bed?

  • tunamelt

    [re=75661]Whiskeybaby[/re]: She was living the American Dream, baby–pulling herself up by her bootstraps with the gifts God gave her and a little bit of an unconventional work ethic.

  • smashtheduck

    Now if only Hopey’s peeps could STFU already about experience and just plaster this everywhere…

  • Monsieur Grumpe


  • gurukalehuru

    Did anyone else notice that during her acceptance speech, he who makes a tremendous effort to smile kept playing nervously with his wedding ring?

  • StripesAndPlaids

    Look at that headboard. Looks like a Quality in on the Jersey Turnpike.

  • KevoTron

    [re=75656]tunamelt[/re]: Nice. I kind of liked Phelps’ junk though….

    Oops! Did I type that or just think it? Can they hear me? Do they know?

  • columnv

    [re=75676]StripesAndPlaids[/re]: I thought the chintzy gold frame behind them gave it away

  • KevoTron

    I’m sort of dim. Is that Anna Nicole Smith? It’s funny regardless but I think I’m just now actually “getting” the joke.

  • Sussemilch

    [re=75639]SuperRounder[/re]: http://deseretnews.com/photos/2554914.jpg

  • HomoPolitico

    Cindy has really let herself go.

  • ChernobylSoup

    Lindsey Graham (R-Closet) just told Wolf Blitzer that if Palin can take on Ted Stevens, she can take on the Russians.

    No, seriously. He did.


  • qwerty42

    [re=75680]KevoTron[/re]: i dunno … i was in the closet polishing my shoes.

  • smellyal8r

    [re=75670]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: Santa Baby…

  • smellyal8r

    [re=75686]KevoTron[/re]: Yes and that is her (then as now) deceased husband, J Howard Marshall.

  • regisgoat

    Couldn’t stop laughing.

  • Them

    “Kevin” deserves a Pulitzer Prize or a Congressional Medal of Honor or a Cable Ace Award or something.

  • itgetter

    That picture is sexist. And yet I don’t care.

    Hey, did you guys realize that at the end of McCain’s first term, Palin will have a grand total of FIVE AND A HALF YEARS in major public office?

  • KevoTron

    [re=75694]smellyal8r[/re]: oh. Ha!

    I’m still having trouble wrapping my brain around this… A lot of people on right wing sites seem generally fired up over this and that worries me. But I don’t understand WHY they like her. Sure she’s got all the kooky makings of a typical fundie nut: creationist, anti-choice, global warming denier… But she’s got zero foreign policy cred, no real leadership experience, yadda yadda yadda.

    It seems like the GOP masses are only excited because they think she’ll deliver votes for McCain (who they never really liked anyways.) So now McCain has a better chance of winning with somebody on the ticket who would be a complete wreck as President and they’re happy because “at least it’s not the black guy”? Am I getting this?

    Thank God it’s a long weekend (with a bitchin’ concert festival to attend) I got paid today and there’s pot to be smoked. I definitely need a bong rip real soon.

  • fish with broken dreams

    trig’s dad employs theBuonaparte style of pledging.

  • Strictly for the Tardcore

    [re=75690]ChernobylSoup[/re]: …


    Taking on Ted Stevens, Mr. InterTubes, is credentials to stare down a world superpower? Ted Stevens must be able to do a staring contest for, like, FOREVER.

    Mostly ’cause I think he might be dead.

  • The Incomparable Tiny Valdez

    I liked yesterday’s reality better than today’s.

  • pinko-commie

    This picture is classic and right on. The more young and hot Sarah Palin is, the more old and wretched WALNUTS! seems. I can’t wait for both the Pres. and the VP debates. They are going to be AWESOME!

  • ForTheTurnstiles

    [re=75709]Strictly for the Tardcore[/re]: I keep bringing this up but it bears repeating:

    She’s another Geraldine Ferraro: chosen out of desperation largely for her gender rather than her qualifications, a potential disaster as an inexperienced campaigner…

  • Squiggyfm
  • springfield_meltdown

    So who should be Miss Buffalo Chip… Cindy or Palin?

  • DoctorCulturae

    [re=75701]KevoTron[/re]: Yep. We libtards say epic lose to Palin, because that’s how we see the world. The wingnut Rovian masses say, hey she’s “right” on the issues and “she makes me feel good when I watch her on the teevee. See, John is smiling and she is smiling and they’re all pretty and stuff.”

    The biggest blind spot of the Dems / left is not understanding that how we see the world is not how the Rovians see the world. They look at us and say elite, stuckup, holier-than-thou.

    Sarah with her pretty little girl… I just wonder how long it will be before Cindy is holding one of them…

  • DoctorCulturae

    [re=75719]ForTheTurnstiles[/re]: Promise!

  • Monsieur Grumpe

    Maybe this just like the Cheney assassin insurance plan. Nobody dares to take out the president because the result is something worse. Brilliant!

  • magic titty

    so fucking awesome.

  • KevoTron

    [re=75725]DoctorCulturae[/re]: Good point. I’ve been reading commentary all day. Kevin Drum (my personal favorite blogger now at Mother Jones) has made some great points that are completely mirrored by LGF writers. I think you nailed it.

    Who was the VP pick that had undergone shock therapy and tanked that one guys campaign…I think it was McGoverns pick…

    I really, really hope that Palin has had electrodes strapped to her skull and has been shocked repeatedly. Or I really really hope that she WILL have electrodes strapped to her skull and be shocked repeatedly…preferably on a reality TV show…naked…with that Feministing blogger administering the treatment…also naked….while Michael Phelps jerks off in the background.

  • Vanity Smurf

    She has a bright future ahead of her on Fox News.

  • Scooter

    Now the first Mrs. McCain, Carol, was a professional swimwear model. When her looks faded Grampy traded her in on a [loaded] rodeo queen. Now he’s tapped a beauty queen GILF for VP. I wish I could figure out some sort of pattern. A little help please!

  • hatlesshead

    Pat Buchanan is totally losing his nut on Hardball praising Princess Polar.

  • Scooter

    Is there a possibility that Palin was chosen simply because of her height? How many Repugs are there that could make McSame look tall?

  • S.Luggo

    [re=75692]smellyal8r[/re]: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CC6JDwFPGts

  • Lionel Hutz Esq.

    You know Cindy is looking over the pre-nup now that McCain has his sights on a young women again.

  • robotico

    Anagram Time! Or, I’m A Mange Rat! Or, Aim Rag at Men! (eeeuw)


    INCA CLAN IMP (Who was born south of the border?)
    CLAM IN PANIC (Hope not.)
    CALM IN PANIC (That’s better.)
    MINI CAN CLAP (If that imp lays one on her rump, better get ready for that panic.)

  • Destonio
  • Lionel Hutz Esq.

    From Drudge on the Palin pick:

    Dobson: ‘I Would Pull that Lever’…

  • Nathan Arizona Sr.

    What is the man to woman issue in Alaska, like 10 to 1? Damn no wonder she was a runner up Miss Moose. Where else do they have to go for Christs sake? A two year chief executive of a state with the same population of the city of Long Beach?! A McCain aneurysm away from the Oval Office?! I had my reservations about Obama, but those end today. What a massively pandering and self serving selection. McCain doesn’t even know her, only met her twice. AHHH!!! Talk about putting himself over his countries best interest. And one more thing, if I hear one more dumb ass PUMA on the TeeVee I am going to shit in my Yoda jammies. The PUMAs have got to be funded by the RNC. Why does anyone give two shits what they think? AND one more thing, it will be business as usual at Unpainted Arizona no matter what shitbird gets elected!

  • hatlesshead

    Wonder if Cindy has signed a do not resuscitate clause for old Boner? America needs to know.

  • TallyWacker

    I think a screen shot of Dolores Umbridge and Dumbledore would make a stellar campaign poster for McCain*Palin. Something about that woman is distinctly Umbridgeian.

  • botlrokit

    [re=75773]hatlesshead[/re]: Secret Cervix say McCAIN MUST LIVE, GOD DAMMIT… LIIIIIIIIVE!!!!

  • smashtheduck

    [re=75745]hatlesshead[/re]: Now, now, that’s a little overboard. The right nut’s reserved for Reagan.

  • josereyes.theroof

    [re=75768]Nathan Arizona Sr.[/re]: More likely, Johnny Walnuts will be felled by the cancer. His HMO does not allow him to utilize the services of Dr. Octagon for his oncology appointments/treatment, so it’s curtains for Ol’ Five & an Half Years.

  • freakishlystrong

    I’m proud to be a wonkateer, Y’all are fucking hilarious!

  • Donkey Sauce

    dudes, Holling & Shelly is funnier cuz of Alaska, see?


  • BigDupa

    [re=75723]Squiggyfm[/re]: A million thanks!

  • bev

    sarah palin? . . . this is worse than Harriet Myers!

  • Hamachi

    I love this poster.

    Unfortunately, McCain will die and leave this inexperienced lady to ruin the country.

  • timeless

    I had forgotten Anna Nicole died. And now I’m sad.

  • Beezling

    timeless, worry not;

    All strippers die.

    Not all strippers truly live.

  • S.Luggo

    [re=75688]Sussemilch[/re]: Yipes, Stripes!
    Not yet revealed in the gutter press (as opposed to, ahem, whatevs), Sarah Palin is the daughter of an illicit, lusty liason between actress Brenda Vaccaro [see her pics at end of post] and retired TV comedian Howdy Doody (known to his friends as Morty). After that, Sarah was given to a pack of Alaskan sea otters [now somehow extinct] to raise.

    Vaccaro appearexd in such series as The Name of the Game, Marcus Welby, M.D., McCloud, The Streets of San Francisco, The Love Boat, St. Elsewhere, Murder, She Wrote, etc. In Midnight Cowboy she played a NYC socialite who lasciviously, with her Democrat elitist wiles, seduced poor Joe Buck. Natch, no connection between that and McPutz’s subconscious motives in selection of Palin as VP. No. Bever.

    Birth mom separated from Sarah Palin at birth:

    I seek only the truth.

  • btwbfdimho

    Actually the PanAm candidate chose Palin because she looks like…oh no


  • S.Luggo

    If they meet in a matter/anti-matter collision, will the result be a Jim Newell? How unsteady and tenuous our universe is. I must pray.

  • Brian Mac

    Once again, Walnuts needs a woman to get his ass out of a crack and he pulled this one from the crack of his ass.

    Running with her sounds as tempting as getting a blow job from a piranha.

  • Oscar Folsom Cleveland

    [re=75690]ChernobylSoup[/re]: Who do you think’s in the photo? It’s Ted without his powdered wig, and Syrah without her temple undergarments.

  • Borat

    Oh, God, we need to start learing how Mugave keeps ticking now – whose blood does he drink, what kind of military dudes or scientists need to be involved to keep the skin from falling off the carcass. No matter what, he can’t hand over power to that woman

  • tender

    [re=75714]The Incomparable Tiny Valdez[/re]: You and me both. It boggles me that people are excited about her. Oh well–some people are crazy, and others are dirty Socialist Muslim terrorists. Or straw men.

    Obama’s speech is still in my mind… what an incredible man. I look forward to the debates, and I look forward to President Barack Obama!

  • Emperor

    I can’t wait until we get to see Biden and Palin on the same stage in a debate. She is going to make Quayle seem like a genius. I actually think she may cry.

    Sarah Palin: The Real Dope (pun intended)

  • snarkomatic

    Bumper sticker:

    McCain + Palin
    7 mansions + 1 trailer

  • Beezling

    [re=76246]tender[/re]: It boggles you?

    Didn’t you ever have health class in junior high?

    Okay, aside from her just being hot … look up ‘halo effects’.

    Psychologically, when we see someone possessing a virtue such as physical attractiveness, we assume they possess other virtues as well (as if they were wearing a halo).

    People unaware of their susceptibility to halo effects will make life decisions based on whether someone is hot or not.

  • Hilbillary

    Yes, their so much more attractice than Senator Combover and Barry Belafonte, Jr.

  • totem71
  • totem71