HOT DISH  10:41 am August 29, 2008

Alaska GILF Is Maybe Veep After All?!

by Sara K. Smith

Hot baked AlaskaHell, we don’t know: “A Republican source confirms that John McCain has chosen Alaska Governor Sarah Palin to be his running mate. Campaign officials, however, remain mum this morning.” One plane-tracking Wonkette reader notes that the plane that may have flown Palin into Ohio last night was classified as type “GLF.” HMMMMMMMM. UPDATE: CNN confirms that it’s Palin. [Chicago Tribune, FlightAware]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 307 comments }

NotNotLickingToads August 29, 2008 at 10:42 am

Yep. CNN just confirmed.

StripesAndPlaids August 29, 2008 at 10:42 am

LVPCILF (Losing Vice Presidential Candidate…)

ForTheTurnstiles August 29, 2008 at 10:42 am

Mondale/Palin ’84!

bup August 29, 2008 at 10:42 am
apocalypsethen August 29, 2008 at 10:43 am

this will drastically improve the republicans’ live sex show in minnepaul.

Donkey Sauce August 29, 2008 at 10:44 am

Holling/Shelly ’08!

Unindicted Co-Conspirator August 29, 2008 at 10:45 am

Nick Denton is gonna be really pissed he sold Wonkette to you Ken.
You’re going to get so many more views now & that means more ad bucks.

Cogito Ergo Bibo August 29, 2008 at 10:46 am

[twirling hair] Well, so, like, he picked a woman, so I have to vote for Crusty McOldster now, right? [*giggle*]

I still say a pro-life woman might as well not own ovaries, so far as undecided women are concerned. Hiltards won’t be moving to the Palin ticket in this lifetime.

TGY August 29, 2008 at 10:46 am

Can’t wait till WALNUTS! slips and addresses her as ‘little lady’.

spencer August 29, 2008 at 10:46 am

John McCain knows that now America will all have to pray that he doesn’t die.

bigpfeifinphilly August 29, 2008 at 10:47 am

WALNUTS is nuts

Maj. Major Major Major August 29, 2008 at 10:47 am

He must be going for that Two-Attendees-At-A-Father-Daughter-Banquet look…

grendel August 29, 2008 at 10:47 am

So did Meg Whitman have the sense to say no?

Lionel Hutz Esq. August 29, 2008 at 10:47 am

So, McCain is going to say “Hey Hiltards, I disagree with every issue you believe in, but, hey, I put an unqualified but pretty women on my ticket. McCain/Palin!”

Blue Myself August 29, 2008 at 10:47 am

Kids: Track, Bristol, Willow, Piper and Trig. Was she naming babies or snow dogs?

jagorev August 29, 2008 at 10:48 am

This election just got tighter than a Republican page’s anus.

magic titty August 29, 2008 at 10:48 am

Next thing you know they’ll be nominating the blacks and the colored Jews for President. This country is going to hell.

HIROHITO99 August 29, 2008 at 10:48 am

Does this mean that we have to listen to 67 more days of the PUMA’s telling us all that a female in politics in EMPOWERING them? If so, there will be crying. They cry over everything, those PUMA’s.

NoWireHangers August 29, 2008 at 10:48 am

WHAT?
AW HELLLLLL NO!

I WANTED LIEBS OR MITTENS! WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS VP PICK WALNUTS! YOU WILL FACE FIRE AND DEATH FOR THIS TREACHERY!!1!1

Well, what’s the over/under on how long it take him to call her a cunt/trollop?

GOD DAMN! I will not stand for anymore woman/PUMA/sexist talk and that’s ALL this VEEP pick is gonna do. Republicans HATE woman! Don’t fall for it America! fklda;fhaO: HLnfv>VbgW

Magister August 29, 2008 at 10:48 am

Palin played basketball and we’ve all heard about Barry’s prowess. Something in me thinks this election might come down to a monster game of “Horse”.

4tehlulz August 29, 2008 at 10:49 am

Cindy McCain is the most nervous woman in America right now. You know WALNUTS wants to hit that.

Terry August 29, 2008 at 10:50 am

Oh, goodie! Let’s talk a LOT about Alaskan politics now! Its, uh, a bit colorful up there. Makes Louisiana look straight as an arrow.

jerryw August 29, 2008 at 10:52 am

Does the “G” in GILF stand for Governor or Grandmother?
Either way seems to play, but considering that it’s for McGeezer
and not Governor, maybe it should be GGGILF?
Just askin…….
Jerry w
http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com

Jingo August 29, 2008 at 10:52 am

Hopefully this trollop won’t put makeup on with a trowel like McCain says Cindy does.

grendel August 29, 2008 at 10:53 am

[re=74937]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: FTW!

cheeto_christ August 29, 2008 at 10:53 am

splockita splokita splokita…….splooge….yawn,

nap time…

SwanSwanH August 29, 2008 at 10:53 am

Michael Palin? Stupid limey fish.

BigDupa August 29, 2008 at 10:53 am

I thought he went for blondes?

Elitist Republican Tard August 29, 2008 at 10:53 am

You know, what, I kinda like Sarah Palin, as far as Republicans are concerned. I sure hope McCain dies.

aabbbiee August 29, 2008 at 10:53 am

I am so looking forward to the VP debate!

Godot August 29, 2008 at 10:54 am

[re=74917]bup[/re]: Not registered by the same registrant as johnmccain.com (located in Brea, CA as opposed to Scottsdale, AZ for the official campaign site).

Doglessliberal August 29, 2008 at 10:54 am

[re=74933]bigpfeifinphilly[/re]: I hope so, but this worries me. She is pro-life, female, breeds a lot–he just got the Evangelicals on his side big time.

AngryBlakGuy August 29, 2008 at 10:55 am

…can WALNUTS! possibly be that dense?! This would be the biggest slap in the face that a Hil-tard could imagine. They don’t want ANY WOMAN, they want HILLARY. The McCain camp is assuming that women are so stupid that they would vote for someone just because they are the same gender. If this line of thought is true then maybe he should have taken Alan “physco eyes” Keyes as his VP, in hopes of picking up the black vote. If anything this obvious pandering is going to cause a female backlash on him.

All that being said: Mittens will be chosen, don’t fall for the hype! When he holds her hand up I will believe it!

NoWireHangers August 29, 2008 at 10:55 am

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

I never thought I’d weep tears of sorrow for Mitt Romney, but here we are…

jagorev August 29, 2008 at 10:55 am

[re=74930]Cogito Ergo Bibo[/re]: It may not change anything for you, but this might be the first time in history that a Republican candidate has a good shot of winning more women’s votes than the Democrat.

NotNotLickingToads August 29, 2008 at 10:56 am

[re=74937]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: He just wants some of that sweet, sweet poontang. As you know, McCain likes to get his strange from women he “works closely with.”

Wrongavore August 29, 2008 at 10:56 am

Wowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwshe is hot though.

AngryBlakGuy August 29, 2008 at 10:56 am

…are the Republicans even trying this year?

MargeSimpsonsBlackFriend August 29, 2008 at 10:56 am

Biden will crush her in the debates. She’s got waaaaaaaaaay less experience than “not ready to lead” Obama. Fail my friends. FAIL.

paolaccio August 29, 2008 at 10:57 am

A Gulfstream-IV? That’s all she rates? Oh right, WALNUTS! has no money. he still gets the chicks, though…

toastandlove August 29, 2008 at 10:57 am

[re=74931]TGY[/re]: He only picked her ’cause he thought she was that funny gal from the Live on Saturday Night, whassername, she’s a real hoot and cutie pie too

Mumble Softly August 29, 2008 at 10:58 am

That’s one hot VPILF !

Does anybody have the link to her homemade sex tapes? With five kids you know there must be hours of sweat soaked , cum stained, Palin footage out there !!

seriesoftubescleaner August 29, 2008 at 10:59 am

More high school girls basketball pics please. I love me some short shorts.

Harmless August 29, 2008 at 10:59 am

Is it possible she that could pop out another kid by election day?

Doglessliberal August 29, 2008 at 10:59 am

[re=74957]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: I am actually afraid this will give the Hilltards who were threatening to vote for him the push they need to vote for him.

Rush August 29, 2008 at 10:59 am

me so hooorrny – love you long time

marykick August 29, 2008 at 10:59 am

No Mitt? Boo. I was looking forward to October discussions on magic underwear.

jagorev August 29, 2008 at 11:00 am

[re=74957]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: If Alan Keyes had been a popular, respected governor (or had won elected office, ever), then maybe picking him would make sense. Palin is not a nutjob like Keyes.

Better analogy: Imagine if Hillary had stolen the nomination from Obama at the last minute, and selected someone like Rendell as her Veep. Then McCain goes and selects Colin Powell for VP. Think that might move the dial on the share of the black vote he wins?

I’m not saying that it’s rational or smart for women to make their choice based on gender, but it’s hard to deny that there are a good many who will. And since women are already pretty evenly divided, this could be enough to put him over the top.

TGY August 29, 2008 at 11:00 am

Also, Sara, you might advise her to get the ‘H’ out of there, first-name-wise.

Scarab August 29, 2008 at 11:01 am

She supports a woman’s right to lose.

Voted for Mondale August 29, 2008 at 11:01 am

What? Doogie Hauser was unavailable? Even if I were a pissed off Hillary supporter, my reaction would be “How fucking stupid do they think we are?”

She is hot though…

kellygrrrl August 29, 2008 at 11:01 am

[re=74929]Unindicted Co-Conspirator[/re]: Nick Denton can GTH!!!!

Lionel Hutz Esq. August 29, 2008 at 11:01 am

I think this might be a disaster for McCain. After hearing Hiltards spend the whole week complaining about a young inexperienced black man getting the job over an older, more experienced women, I can’t imagine them being happy with an old white guy picking an young, inexperienced, beauty contest winner.

seriesoftubescleaner August 29, 2008 at 11:01 am

ahhhhhhh…..

ProfessorJukes August 29, 2008 at 11:02 am

[re=74931]TGY[/re]:”Can’t wait till WALNUTS! slips and addresses her as ‘little lady’.”

I’m hoping for another ‘cunt’ reference, myself.

TGY August 29, 2008 at 11:03 am

Also, my God, Mittens is a MORMON, Lieberman is a DEMOCRAT (sort of and unfortunately). Do y’all think the Republican party (of evangelicals and very-hard-liners) would stand for that as VP?

aabbbiee August 29, 2008 at 11:04 am

This is kinda the opposite of feminism, btw. But she’ll probably win the Mary Kay vote, all of whom will be upset when Biden tears her from limb to limb in the debates.

TGY August 29, 2008 at 11:04 am

[re=74983]ProfessorJukes[/re]: WALNUTS has the wisdom of Stalin: never call anybody a ‘cunt’ in front of a camera.

Hairy Reed August 29, 2008 at 11:05 am

So much for that “Obama has no experience” argument McCain had going there.

NoWireHangers August 29, 2008 at 11:05 am

[re=74957]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: God, I think Wonkette ate my comment. I was going to say that AMERICA IS THAT STUPID.

And now the GOP convention is going to pull some “FIRST REPUBLICAN WOMAN VEEP” horseshit and try to pass themselves off as a party that is NOT completely fucking inept and out of touch. MOTHER FUCKERS! THE DEMOCRATS are the party of diversity/womens rights/gays/orgies/love-ins/environmental civil rights and weed! NO! NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Fighting Bill August 29, 2008 at 11:05 am

She’s a woman? Oh, all the chicks’ll vote for her, you know the gender thing. And all the guys will think she’s hot and wanna look at her for four years. And the youth vote? Come on, she’s got it in the bag. A 44-year old hottie who’s done the beauty queen circuit? She’ll be a magnet for the youngsters.

McDumb has done George Bush Senior a great, great favor: he’s made the selection of Dan Quayle look intelligent by comparison.

Anita Cocktail August 29, 2008 at 11:05 am

Great. Now we can kiss the word “retard” good-bye. Republicans ruin everything.

Moleman August 29, 2008 at 11:06 am

This is such obvious and shameful pandering… for Alaska’s 3 electoral votes.

4tehlulz August 29, 2008 at 11:07 am

[re=74981]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: she isn’t black though, and for many of them, that will be good enough.

bunnyhead August 29, 2008 at 11:07 am

It’s a slick move, very calculating. Just stole Obama’s press today.

Scarab August 29, 2008 at 11:07 am

It’s not the first time McCain has chosen to go with a younger woman.

jagorev August 29, 2008 at 11:09 am

[re=74981]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: I think you’ve just hit on the line of attack that is most likely to work. If there’s anything that Hilltards more than an inadequate black male, it’s a pretty young thing. We need to find a way to subliminally remind people of McCain’s cheating on his crippled wife with a beauty queen, 25 years ago.

choinski August 29, 2008 at 11:09 am

Biden will crush her in the debates until she triumphantly declares: “Hey! My eyes are up here!”

Terry August 29, 2008 at 11:09 am

[re=74964]MargeSimpsonsBlackFriend[/re]:

On top of having less debate experience than Biden, the average Alaskan cares little about what happens outside of the state. Girlfriend has got some learning to do, unless her role is to stand behind McCain and gaze at him adoringly.

AngryBlakGuy August 29, 2008 at 11:10 am

…this choice is so bad that it off the scale! Not only is Alaska one of the biggest recipients of pork but they are also one of the most corrupt states in the Union. Was she even vetted? I have a feeling that after seeing last nights speech WALNUTS! got all panicky and decided to throw a Hail-Mary. I’m going to forecast that this pick will not only have NO effect on the polls but also have a NEGATIVE affect on fund raising. Then on top of all of that, how is she going to effectively attack Obama on the inexperience issue and she is even younger than him? I smell a landslide!

S.Luggo August 29, 2008 at 11:10 am
TGY August 29, 2008 at 11:10 am

[re=74988]NoWireHangers[/re]: Well, yes, the Hiltards do hate Barry for edging out their Flaming Pants-Suit Heroine. Actually, I believe the die-hard haters would vote for a rock over Barry, so Palin won’t buy much in that direction.

Tawmn August 29, 2008 at 11:11 am

Gee what a shocker… She’s in the oil industry.

Spiro Agnew August 29, 2008 at 11:12 am

Kay Bailey Hutchinson just said McNutty is a Sow Your Oats sort of guy. WTF

Jingo August 29, 2008 at 11:12 am

Palin is the perfect VP choice to help John McCain. She already has experience caring for a mentally challenged child.

jagorev August 29, 2008 at 11:12 am

Has anyone noticed that Palin looks kinda like what you might expect Sara K. Smith to look like in 20-25 years? This is clearly a ploy to win over the Wonkette reader vote.

NoWireHangers August 29, 2008 at 11:13 am

After last night, all I could think was if Barry doesn’t win this FUCKING thing by a MILE maybe we are a nation of idiots that deserves our deathly fate.

This Palin pick will makes things complicated, and I don’t know if America has the brain power to handle it. God help us.

Gopherit v2.0 August 29, 2008 at 11:13 am

I have to say, this came out of left field for me. Maybe she was picked for all of her foreign policy experience dealing with the Russians?

Palin’s a pretty face, but she’s no Barry.

trh August 29, 2008 at 11:13 am

[re=74972]Doglessliberal[/re]: Except for the whole voting for a female belonging to Feminists for Life thing…

KevoTron August 29, 2008 at 11:13 am

[re=74954]aabbbiee[/re]: You think Biden would hit a girl?

masterdebater August 29, 2008 at 11:14 am

[re=74988]NoWireHangers[/re]: Wierd, it ate mine too. I was going to say, that the Nazis who actually run the gop are probably trying to figure a way to sell this one, and alternately considering suicide. Rush is probably going to become a Paultard any minute now. Nothing to fear though, she is “pro-life”. That means she doesn’t even think women can be trusted to make their own reproductive decisions, so the stuff that effects the whole world? No way! Still, I’d do her. Look I have explained before, we guys just can’t help it.

AppalachianWino August 29, 2008 at 11:14 am

I am too hungover to make too much of sarah palin – but her having a kid named trig is all i need to know.

i bet she wears magic underwear like mittens anyway.

Rush August 29, 2008 at 11:14 am

WAIT A MINITE

I think Sara is really Ashley Banfied, the old MSNBC reporter.

http://i.a.cnn.net/cnn/2007/images/12/21/art.banfield1.jpg

grendel August 29, 2008 at 11:15 am

[re=74995]Scarab[/re]: “It’s not the first time McCain has chosen to go with a younger woman.”

That needs to be the standard Democratic response to Palin… they need to say it 100x per day…

AppalachianWino August 29, 2008 at 11:15 am

Although I am much too hungover from our hope-party last night to make much of sarah palin, having a child named trig tells me enough. mandatory down syndrome babies for all!

GayInMaine August 29, 2008 at 11:16 am

[re=74945]4tehlulz[/re]: And he just sent Cindy to a war zone halfway around the world. Coincidence?

Mo MoDo August 29, 2008 at 11:16 am

[re=74972]Doglessliberal[/re]: Kinda painfully obvious as McCain’s ploy. I’d laugh at its clumsiness, but I’ve seen too many PUMA quotes to doubt its effectiveness.

WikipediaBrown August 29, 2008 at 11:17 am

OH NO! Their VP can has babies!!!!

RooseveltFranklin August 29, 2008 at 11:17 am

She looks like a walking LensCrafters ad. And she uses scrunchies and banana-clips in her hair.

benj-thewrathofgod August 29, 2008 at 11:18 am

They have moose up in Minnesota, don’t they? Maybe she can shoot and butcher one on stage while giving a speech on national security. It would be a great metaphor!

NoWireHangers August 29, 2008 at 11:19 am

[re=75011]masterdebater[/re]: Yeah, but the GOP loves “women” like Elizabeth Dole (crusty, simpy, Southern Belle), Heidi Montag (rich, vapid, plastic-titted, and “hot”), and the Republican First Ladies (prim, conservative, “family first”). As such, I don’t know that the woman hater GOP men will hate hate Palin. She’s hot, so I don’t think they take her seriously intellectually anyway. They’re clearly using her for her vag.

kellygrrrl August 29, 2008 at 11:19 am

“Hi. I’m John MkKain and this is my new Cvnt”

NoWireHangers August 29, 2008 at 11:20 am

[re=75019]RooseveltFranklin[/re]: That’s right on.

masterdebater August 29, 2008 at 11:20 am

[re=74995]Scarab[/re]: “It’s not the first time McCain has chosen to go with a younger woman.”
Winner!

MountainMama August 29, 2008 at 11:20 am

Damn smug eskimos

shoeho August 29, 2008 at 11:20 am

Cindyloohoo let him pick a younger woman? Hmm, maybe that $100mill isn’t looking as good as it did when you stack it up against the NRA and mooseburgers!

qwerty42 August 29, 2008 at 11:20 am

This takes the “experience” stuff away. I wonder when the decision was made to ask her. While it pretty much has to be a play to divide the women’s vote, and especially bring PUMAs on, will it keep the wingnuts involved? I know she is pro-life and regarded as conservative (and seems to be doing well as a reformist governor), but will that bring out the votes in November? It’s a clever choice, but I think it is aimed more at a long-term future, not this election. Of course, if she is attacked in any way that can be regarded as misognystic, expect it to get big play from a deeply, deeply concerned Republican party.

marykick August 29, 2008 at 11:20 am

[re=74972]Doglessliberal[/re]: I’m not so sure. They’re clearly pandering with this choice. And anyway some of the diehards wouldn’t have voted for Obama regardless of a McCain choice. The VP debate this year is going to a repeat of Benson-Quayle and then some.

Platypus August 29, 2008 at 11:20 am

[re=74956]Doglessliberal[/re]: But she likes teh gays which makes her a nonstarter with the Jeebus Freaks. And she’s definitely a woman which is a very very bad thing in their eyes.

Fear of a Black Reagan August 29, 2008 at 11:22 am

POWMG! Palin is such a maverick she is abandoning her retarded baby to be The Next Vice President of the United States! Women will love that!

Skip2theEnd August 29, 2008 at 11:24 am

Wait…so McCain goes on and on about Obama not being experienced enough to run the country yet he chooses a running mate (the person who is supposed to be ready to take over in the likely event he drops dead) whose most impressive resume point is “runner up in the 1984 Miss Alaska contest” and expects us females to fall for it? It’s not like there are 18 million angry women voters out there who feel bitter enough to ignore their own political beliefs and vote Republican and oh crap, this may just work. WALNUTS! is either the dumbest person ever to run for public office or he is an evil genius in adult diapers.

jagorev August 29, 2008 at 11:24 am

[re=75028]marykick[/re]: Yes, it will be a repeat of Bentsen-Quayle, and just look how well that worked out for the Dems.

Mo MoDo August 29, 2008 at 11:25 am

[re=74991]Moleman[/re]: Got to lock those down to counter Biden taking Delaware to the Demo side. Only the Montana Attorney General would have been a less electoral college affecting pick.

AngryBlakGuy August 29, 2008 at 11:25 am

[re=74976]jagorev[/re]: …I’m going to have to disagree with you on that. As a minority I can say that oppressed minorities are some of the most cynical voters you can imagine. We can sense when someone isn’t authentic and is pandering; and this my friend is flat out pandering. Women in the Democratic party may be emotional but they sure as hell aren’t dumb; which is what you would need to be to not see this as pandering. If there is any such thing as a PUMA(and I don’t think there is) they would be insulted at the thought that they would vote for anything with ovaries!

InsidiousTuna August 29, 2008 at 11:25 am

I like how Kay Bailey Hutchison was just interviewed and said something along the lines of “I hadn’t even heard of Governor Palin before today.”

Strictly for the Tardcore August 29, 2008 at 11:25 am

[re=75014]grendel[/re]: Agreed.

Man, this is gonna keep Biden from breaking out his verbal kung fu on debate night; if he goes after her too hard, it’s gonna play like he’s beating up on a young girl.

The last hope I have for America is that this whole thing backfires, badly.

jagorev August 29, 2008 at 11:26 am

The Great Orange Satan reports that Palin is in favor of teaching creationism: http://www.dailykos.com/story/2008/8/29/111428/917/148/578527

DoctorCulturae August 29, 2008 at 11:26 am

So… how long before the trollop/c-word meme is further viralized? Srsly.

cantabrigia August 29, 2008 at 11:26 am

Dude. How many pairs of glasses does the woman own? Seriously. Run a google images search. And they’re all Euro-elite, too.

CthuNHu August 29, 2008 at 11:26 am

It’s all about balance.

Just as Joe Biden balanced Obama’s lack of hands-on foreign policy experience, Palin balances out McCain’s total dearth of hotness. And unlike McCain, she voted for neither the invasion of Iraq nor the War of 1812.

Also, I believe she didn’t ditch husband #1 after he got too old and fugly for her, and she doesn’t call him a prick in public, so that balances too.

KittyKatMan August 29, 2008 at 11:26 am

Smart move. Normal and non-insane candidates would stay away from republicans out of Alaska. touche’ touche’

Gopherit v2.0 August 29, 2008 at 11:26 am

Now that someone outside of Alaska and Wonkette will be looking at her, I wonder how long it will be before her first scandal comess up. I mean, she’s a republican from Alaska. By definition, she has to be corrupt. Hot, but corrupt.

Dientes August 29, 2008 at 11:28 am

[re=74914]StripesAndPlaids[/re]: just be careful you don’t get her preggers because she’ll want to keep it and then you’ll have to pay child support

ManchuCandidate August 29, 2008 at 11:28 am

Hawaii and Alaska represent!

It’s one of the few politically astute things Walnuts has done this election. Only problem is that if Palin gets put in the “airhead” meme (and it is possible as no one really knows her) then this thing will seriously backfire on him.

Doglessliberal August 29, 2008 at 11:28 am

[re=75011]masterdebater[/re]: apparently she is anti-birth control, too. Or just likes collecting children.

[re=75029]Platypus[/re]: but she is against civil unions, no?

[re=74999]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: my husband agrees with you and says it smells of desperation.

BigDupa August 29, 2008 at 11:28 am

MSNBC showing “Country First” banner… all I see is “First C)#(*!” damn you Wonkette

sezme August 29, 2008 at 11:28 am

[re=74999]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: This isn’t a Hail-Mary pass; it’s just that she was the only one who could pass John McCain’s ‘audition’. Also, just because she’s the governor from Alaska doesn’t make her unqualified for the office of vice president. Go ahead: ask her anything about salmon streams, or …um… halibut.

illnoise August 29, 2008 at 11:28 am

She’s a Creationist. That’s all I need to know.

bmannes August 29, 2008 at 11:29 am

So, I’m not going to get to see anymore hot, hot Romney cock?!?! This is bullshit.

Fear of a Black Reagan August 29, 2008 at 11:29 am

[re=75034]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: True that. You white people think we hate you? Maybe. But not nearly as much as we hate shuck and jive artists like Uncle Tom Keyes.

My wife (PUMA) is livid about SP having a retarded baby and then running for office far away from home. And that’s even before the abortion and equal pay things come up.

Lionel Hutz Esq. August 29, 2008 at 11:29 am

Well, like most good Republicans, she apparently knows how to abuse power: http://online.wsj.com/article/SB121746477267499109.html?mod=googlenews_wsj

qwerty42 August 29, 2008 at 11:29 am

[re=75029]Platypus[/re]: “But she likes teh gays …” what! well, clearly the Cities can expect to be hit by Gustav.

MISTAHCOUGHDROP August 29, 2008 at 11:29 am

Lots of Republican women want the McEmbrace: http://storefrontwindows.blogspot.com/2008/08/ob.html

NoWireHangers August 29, 2008 at 11:30 am

God, and to top it off Our Wonkettes is being all broken and shady to me. I keep have to refresh refresh refresh.

Fear of a Black Reagan August 29, 2008 at 11:31 am

POWMG! Wonkette crashes due to snark overlaod.

Eskimo lady-governeress FTW!

Oscar Folsom Cleveland August 29, 2008 at 11:31 am

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HOhoKFZYaI0

Everybody knows that this Palin lady has extensive leadership and diplomatic skills, but is she really willing to settle for second place?!!

jagorev August 29, 2008 at 11:31 am

This, from the Sarah Palin page at On The Issues, made me giggle:

Foreign Policy – No issue stance yet recorded by OnTheIssues.org.
Free Trade – No issue stance yet recorded by OnTheIssues.org.
Corporations – No issue stance yet recorded by OnTheIssues.org.
Government Reform – No issue stance yet recorded by OnTheIssues.org.
Immigration – No issue stance yet recorded by OnTheIssues.org.
Jobs – No issue stance yet recorded by OnTheIssues.org.
Principles & Values – No issue stance yet recorded by OnTheIssues.org.
Technology – No issue stance yet recorded by OnTheIssues.org.
War & Peace – No issue stance yet recorded by OnTheIssues.org.
Welfare & Poverty – No issue stance yet recorded by OnTheIssues.org.

CthuNHu August 29, 2008 at 11:31 am

Sarah Palin:Hillary Clinton::Clarence Thomas:Barack Obama

Attention, GOP Affirmative Action squad: UR DOIN IT RONG!

JamesMichaelCurley August 29, 2008 at 11:31 am

She exclaims she is a ‘Hockey Mom’. Does that mean she will get us all dental insurance, or beat the hell out of guy wearing vertical black and white stripes?

Strictly for the Tardcore August 29, 2008 at 11:32 am

[re=75032]jagorev[/re]: The main difference is that the Presidential debates in this election are gonna look like Benson-Quayle, too.

I hope Barry keeps on this righteous indignation thing he’s got going. It won’t take much needling for McCain to reveal his true nature: that of a bitter, whiney old bastard in the first stages of Alzheimer’s.

Cogito Ergo Bibo August 29, 2008 at 11:33 am

She named the Down’s Syndrome kid “Trig”? Um, not to be totally insensitive or anything, but isn’t that setting the math bar a little high for the poor kid?

DoctorCulturae August 29, 2008 at 11:33 am

[re=75031]Skip2theEnd[/re]: Agreed. But Hopey should ask Hilary to speak to this directly on the campaign trail. Personally I imagine Hilz rearing back with an enormous belly laugh at hearing the name Palin. But also thinking, that should could stomach letting Hopey win and having to eat crow, but the universe would have to implode before she’d even tacitly let some bimbo get in before her.

larz August 29, 2008 at 11:33 am

Does anyone south of the Arctic Circle have any idea who the chick serving mooseburgers is?

Gopherit v2.0 August 29, 2008 at 11:33 am

The crazy PUMAs on the Hillary Board are all excited over the Palin pick. Given their track record so far, I’d say automatic fail.

masterdebater August 29, 2008 at 11:33 am

[re=75027]qwerty42[/re]: Just to be 100% serious for a second, I really do not believe that any wingnut (Rush, O’Really, &c) is going to be on board with a woman being one incredibly creaky heart beat away from selling out, I mean running, this great nation that they have paid so much for. It is THEIR country damn it, and the way they see it the rest of us are lucky they let us live here! No woman is going to be telling the Viagra crowd what to do…not on their watch!

sanantonerose August 29, 2008 at 11:33 am

[re=74926]Donkey Sauce[/re]: WIN

[re=74956]Doglessliberal[/re]: Don’t forget all that huntin’ and fishin’ she does. The hot gun-totin’ fly rod holdin’ camoflauge bikini shots ain’t far behind.

Scarab August 29, 2008 at 11:34 am

I can’t wait fro the moment when she takes off her glass, shakes out her hair, and struts down the aisle as ZZ Top begins to play.

forgracie August 29, 2008 at 11:34 am

McCain/Palin–a bridge to nowhere.

Seriously folks–you may be forgetting how extremely critical women are of other women. This will be seen for what it is–pandering.
3…2…1 Of course I’d hit it though.

NoWireHangers August 29, 2008 at 11:34 am

[re=75034]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: But the thing is that Hillary and all the Democrats bent over backwards to appease the PUMA contingent (however small) at the Convention. If any PUMA votes for WALNUTS! now it will be for their own senile reasons that have nothing to do with Hillary. That said, that senile contingent will glom onto Palin and use “womens rights” or some shit as their excuse. Intelligent women, won’t fall for that shit, but we’re not talking about intelligent women. We’re talking about people that vote for BUSH. TWICE.

obfuscator August 29, 2008 at 11:34 am

From the “mccainpalin.com” website:

“Sarah Heath Palin is currently the Governor of Alaska and assumed office in 2006. In addition to being the first female Governor of Alaska, she has made history again as the first female Republican Vice Presidential running mate.”

Good for you, Republicans. You’re only 24 years behind the rest of America on this one.

Strictly for the Tardcore August 29, 2008 at 11:34 am

[re=75047]sezme[/re]: And crabs.

/easy joke

Poindextrous August 29, 2008 at 11:35 am

[re=74945]4tehlulz[/re]: I bet CMC is relieved — now her husband has someone else to whore out at biker rallies…

Gopherit v2.0 August 29, 2008 at 11:36 am

[re=74981]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: Even worse, he’s spent the last 3 months saying he’d pick someone ready on Day One, because there’s no “on the job training” for president. Palin? She’s ready from Day One, huh? Nice going, Walnuts!

jagorev August 29, 2008 at 11:36 am

[re=75064]larz[/re]: I am pretty sure that Palin owes the entirety of her name recognition in the lower 48 to Wonkette.

Vanity Smurf August 29, 2008 at 11:36 am

Who would have thought that it would only take 24 years for the GOP to catch up with where the Democrats were in 1984?

Oh, and she’s a Creationist!!! Those Dominionist “Christians” are gonna be so torn!

NoWireHangers August 29, 2008 at 11:38 am

[re=75071]obfuscator[/re]: And we can’t go after her on the experience angle can we? Oooh, those fuckers played this good.

RuperttheBear August 29, 2008 at 11:38 am

[re=75044]ManchuCandidate[/re]: That and the “heart beat away from the presidency” ad Obama’s probably firing up right now.

PrairiePossum August 29, 2008 at 11:39 am

I’m not worried about the PUMAs. Hillary and Oprah will set them straight.

Strictly for the Tardcore August 29, 2008 at 11:39 am

[re=75076]Vanity Smurf[/re]: Great, so she’s stupid, too. Can we get the candidates to take a standardized IQ test prior to the election?

Oh, wait, I forgot, intelligence is a bad thing in this country…

NavinJohnson August 29, 2008 at 11:39 am

“Governor, I served with Hillary Clinton. I know Hillary Clinton. Hillary Clinton is a friend of mine. Governor, you’re no Hillary Clinton.”

Wee Mousie August 29, 2008 at 11:40 am

I don’t see many of those Bible Thumper Ladies lining up to support any woman seeking a title that involves vice, but just is case McCain does win, is Cindy his second First Lady or his first Second Lady?

Just so I know how to label the place cards.

scottypants August 29, 2008 at 11:40 am

Hockey Mom – isnt that sorta like a soccer mom only more violent? Mmmmmmm!

I keep reading comments about secret movies and binkini shots. please add me to whatever spam list and email me when they emerge.

Just goes to show that hotness is truly bipartisan. :)

tunamelt August 29, 2008 at 11:40 am

How long before he slips up and calls her a trollopy cunt?

NoWireHangers August 29, 2008 at 11:40 am

[re=75075]jagorev[/re]: Oh the irony. The painful PAINFUL irony. This is all Jim’s fault!

Gopherit v2.0 August 29, 2008 at 11:41 am

Of course, if it’s 3am, and you’re a semi-senile, crotchety, depends-wearing typ Pres, it’s nice to have a hawt VPILF reaching over you to answer the phone.

dearcatastrophecarlos August 29, 2008 at 11:41 am

Can’t wait for the VP debate’s swimsuit competition- GO Biden!

Rush August 29, 2008 at 11:41 am

Can you imagine if Hilz was VP during the debate with AK poon.

She’d be talking about Bosnia and her hubby, former President CumStein would be backstage singing “Devil with a Blue Dress On”

Doglessliberal August 29, 2008 at 11:41 am

[re=75035]InsidiousTuna[/re]: she’s pissed he didn’t pick her, which would have been the genius pick. Experience, woman, Texas, conservative.

cognitive dissident August 29, 2008 at 11:42 am
Elitist Republican Tard August 29, 2008 at 11:42 am

I’m going to keep posting this till it enters the ‘merican public’s mind.

Here’s a photo from Sarah Palin’s visit to a fudge factory!

http://img247.imageshack.us/img247/2254/palinfudgebr3.jpg

AngryBlakGuy August 29, 2008 at 11:43 am

…you wanna know what is a good measure of how much of an EPIC FAIL this is going to turn out to be? Look at how much money PUMA raised. I’ll give you a hint: Its enough to give every state in the Union a thousand dollars apiece! ANSWER: $50,000!!!!!! Yeah, it definitely sounds like there are whole lot of PUMA votes to be won doesn’t it?!?!?! Congratulations WALNUTS! you FAIL!!!

Poindextrous August 29, 2008 at 11:44 am

[re=75043]Dientes[/re]: And then she’ll run for national office, leaving all 5 kids with variations of special names/special needs behind in the snowy dark winter, fighting for food with the dogs.

Let’s note that I’m totally in favor of women leaving kids behind fighting for food to run for national office…I am against self-righteous, ‘i’m a better mommy than you’ women and will take them out with hockey sticks.

NoWireHangers August 29, 2008 at 11:45 am

Hillz needs to get out there and campaign HARD for Barry. She needs to Rip Palin a new vagina. She needs to go Clinton on her ass, and show the world what a REAL WOMAN IS!

Scarab August 29, 2008 at 11:45 am

[re=75092]Elitist Republican Tard[/re]: Bless you.

jagorev August 29, 2008 at 11:46 am

Hot daughter alert (no, I don’t want to know how old she is):

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=1181323&id=28784546395

jagorev August 29, 2008 at 11:47 am

Would it be wrong to point out that one of her daughters has a nice rack?

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=1181323&id=28784546395

Strictly for the Tardcore August 29, 2008 at 11:48 am

[re=75095]NoWireHangers[/re]: Awesomeness Factor if that happened: over 9000. Chances of it happening: Less than the chances of Fixed Noise Network reporting this as a dangerous pick or a bad thing.

AngryBlakGuy August 29, 2008 at 11:50 am

[re=75095]NoWireHangers[/re]: …if Hillary attacks Palin then its game over!

tonashideska August 29, 2008 at 11:50 am

[re=75085]tunamelt[/re]: I thought she was his Vice-Cunt?

grendel August 29, 2008 at 11:51 am

http://www.vpilf.com/

hahahahahahaha

Strictly for the Tardcore August 29, 2008 at 11:52 am

[re=75098]jagorev[/re]: Hm. Hot mom, nice rack, cute girl smile, belongs to a right-wing, creationist Xtian family…

Yup, she’s a slut. WalNUTS! wins the election, I give ’til May before she’s involved in a sex/drugs/rock ‘n’ roll scandal.

DoctorCulturae August 29, 2008 at 11:52 am

[re=75044]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Agreed, bring on the airhead meme Thing is this choice is about picking up (so to speak) Dubya Bitters, not necessarily Demo-PUMA Bitterz.

Doglessliberal August 29, 2008 at 11:53 am

Teh Wonkette Is Brokenz

dutchie August 29, 2008 at 11:53 am

I’m just worried about the VP debates. Remember that whole shebang about some white guy “standing over” Clinton in a debate during her senate race? Imagine what will happen if the girl involved is actually hot…

tunamelt August 29, 2008 at 11:53 am

[re=75098]jagorev[/re]: Or that one of them is orange?

jagorev August 29, 2008 at 11:53 am

The first line from this AP article is priceless: “John McCain tapped little-known Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin”

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080829/ap_on_el_pr/cvn_veepstakes

I am the Liquor August 29, 2008 at 11:54 am

While I agree and certainly hope that Biden crushes her in a debate, remember what happened in 2000. Like Bush the expectations for her in that debate will be sooooo low that just the mere act of speaking in complete sentences will be enough. The bar will be so low for her she just has to stand there and let Biden talk himself into the ground, like Bush did with Gore.

tunamelt August 29, 2008 at 11:54 am

I’m so excited to vote for someone who has ovaries. JUST LIKE ME!

grendel August 29, 2008 at 11:54 am

[re=75095]NoWireHangers[/re]: If she did that I might learn to love Hillz again

DoctorCulturae August 29, 2008 at 11:54 am

[re=75102]grendel[/re]: rotfl…!!!!1!!

PentagonBookkeeper August 29, 2008 at 11:54 am

OK, so her husband works for BP, seperating oil from water or whatever. And McC’s mother came from a huge oil company…FUCK! She wants JohnnyMac to drill more holes in her backyard.

Does this mean the Bitters will don her B52′s beehive in droves, or hives?

NoWireHangers August 29, 2008 at 11:55 am

[re=75099]Strictly for the Tardcore[/re]: We need to MAKE Hillz do it. She owes it to us.

Someone find the GOP playbook on Geraldine and dust it off for tips. I wonder if Ferrero is still gonna vote WALNUTS! or what she has to say about this.

Also WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON WITH THE WONKETTE WEBSITE?

AppalachianWino August 29, 2008 at 11:55 am

she looks like every cheap realtor in the real estate guide.

tunamelt August 29, 2008 at 12:17 pm

[re=75114]NoWireHangers[/re]: OMG I’M SO GLAD IT’S NOT JUST ME.

Doglessliberal August 29, 2008 at 12:17 pm

[re=75115]AppalachianWino[/re]: oh, exactly!!!!

dutchie August 29, 2008 at 12:18 pm

[re=75114]NoWireHangers[/re]: I was having trouble too, but I thought it might be my atheist antichrist-loving European connection. Maybe I’m wrong?

Doglessliberal August 29, 2008 at 12:18 pm

[re=75114]NoWireHangers[/re]: it is broked.

apocalypsethen August 29, 2008 at 12:18 pm

the site is all broken and stuff.

Vanity Smurf August 29, 2008 at 12:18 pm

Cuntry First!

The Incomparable Tiny Valdez August 29, 2008 at 12:20 pm

No way she was vetted. A cursory Google search leads to charges of nepotism, child custody battles, tasering 11-year olds, bootlegging and violating game laws. Yeeha! Sounds like my kind of trailer trash, Northern Exposure style.

jagorev August 29, 2008 at 12:20 pm

Oh hooray Wonkette is back.

This McCain-Palin logo looks like cleavage:

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=1181322&id=28784546395

AnnieGetYourFun August 29, 2008 at 12:20 pm

[re=74964]MargeSimpsonsBlackFriend[/re]: Nope. This officially neuters Biden during the debates, because she can get all weepy and Repubs will be like “He was unprofessional”.

I can’t wait for accusations of sexism and “Good Ol Boy”ism to be leveled againt Obama-Biden. The PUMAs are probs creaming themselves right now.

AngryBlakGuy August 29, 2008 at 12:20 pm

…I want to see if Geraldine Ferraro is going to comeback on the reservation?! She was leading the charge on how much of an insult it would be if Obama chose a woman, so I wonder what she has to say now?!

Fear of a Black Reagan August 29, 2008 at 12:21 pm

[re=75098]jagorev[/re]: Still nothing on Joe Biden’s granddaughter/stem-cell researched 14 year old Brooke Shields clone.

Destonio August 29, 2008 at 12:21 pm

Press accounts confirm that she has a vagina.

OffTheRecord August 29, 2008 at 12:21 pm

Oh good. We’re back. Please for the love of god tell me someone else saw the cheerleader trollop on MSNBC? She was so proud of herself for being on the television.

masterdebater August 29, 2008 at 12:21 pm

[re=75065]Gopherit v2.0[/re]: That may be the craziest shit I have ever read. How DID you find that site?

AfghanVet August 29, 2008 at 12:21 pm

Two things:

- How bad of a pick is it that the GOP openly admits that the main reason for the choice is to pander to Clinton Bitters (TM) in order to scrounge for votes.

- Bill is SOOOOO jealous.

I would DEFINTELY hit that, glasses on, but I certainly will not vote for her.

Q2 August 29, 2008 at 12:22 pm

This choice is a huge disappointment. Is this person qualified to lead our nation? Clearly this was a choice driven by politics to garner dis-satisfied HillTards. This is a huge disappointment and a cynical pick. I am heartbroken that McCain would stoop so low as to choose an unqualified person solely to win. Like I said the other day: they are all rat-weasels and McCain has proven to me that he is a rat-weasel without peer.

That said…I’d fuck her in a heartbeat. :-)

Strictly for the Tardcore August 29, 2008 at 12:22 pm

[re=75114]NoWireHangers[/re]: Any ideas on how to twist her arm and get her to give a major campaign speech where she just shreds this little trollop? ‘Cause I think AngryBlakGuy is right, if Hilz does that, she basically hands Barry the presidency gift-wrapped.

Wagamuffin August 29, 2008 at 12:22 pm

Well, at least it wasn’t possum…

http://www.cbsnews.com/blogs/2008/08/29/politics/horserace/entry4395877.shtml

Sara, nice economical use of the headline, BTW. Al Gore would be proud of your efforts.

WadISay August 29, 2008 at 12:23 pm

This pick makes sense if you think like a conservative. You can nominate any halfway personable empty vessel or sack of turnips, and, as long as you can surround him/her with evil advisors and spoutable talking points, you’ve got an electable candidate. In this sense, having no background is kind of a virtue. Exhibit A: the current Leader of the Free World (TM).

SpecialHorse August 29, 2008 at 12:24 pm

Now they can act indignant and cry “sexism”! What is happening with the world. That’s ours!

sezme August 29, 2008 at 12:25 pm

[re=75087]Gopherit v2.0[/re]: Yeah, I think McCain completely misunderstands the duties of a vice-president.

jagorev August 29, 2008 at 12:26 pm

One suggestion: let’s tone back the slut/trollop/cunt language when discussing her, because every time we use sexist language against Palin, Obama loses a woman voter.

masterdebater August 29, 2008 at 12:26 pm

[re=75128]Destonio[/re]: ***Update*** Not only does she have one, but reliable sources indicate it is a working one…More as the story developes.

The Incomparable Tiny Valdez August 29, 2008 at 12:26 pm

That “Homing in on Halibut” article sounds interesting

MoodProcessor August 29, 2008 at 12:27 pm

Well….at least we’ll be able to use the word Palindrones for her supporters.

Delicious August 29, 2008 at 12:27 pm

She eats moose burgers!

larz August 29, 2008 at 12:27 pm

Is the new campaign slogan “Beer and Mooseburgers for everyone?”

NoWireHangers August 29, 2008 at 12:28 pm

[re=75133]Strictly for the Tardcore[/re]: If Hillz gives some crazy Kill-Palin rally, I’ll send her a few buck to pay down her debt. Maybe I’ll get on her website and write her a letter or something. Desperate times, etc.

Remember last night, when we all saw how FUCKING AWESOME Barry was, and we were all like, what in gods name could WALNUTS! do to get attention since he’s a crusty old turd? Well, know we know. FUCK!

Strictly for the Tardcore August 29, 2008 at 12:28 pm

[re=75135]WadISay[/re]: Yeah, but her emptiness works against her, completely. see [re=75057]jagorev[/re]‘s post. All Barry has to do in the debates is go up to the podium and say, “either my distinguished opponent is a liar and experience is less important than judgement, or he’s demolished his credibility by picking someone with no experience whatsoever. Your pick, Johnny.”

Cape Clod August 29, 2008 at 12:28 pm

OK, McCain just took the experience arguement off the table and squarely put his age and health status in focus. Anytime he starts looking tired and out of it during the rest of the campaign, this is going to come up. I really can’t believe he did this.

tunamelt August 29, 2008 at 12:29 pm

[re=75123]The Incomparable Tiny Valdez[/re]: Because we’re not supposed to be examining her as a serious candidate. We’re just supposed to be like, “Woman! I’m a woman, too. I’ll vote for you!”

AngryBlakGuy August 29, 2008 at 12:29 pm

…OH,SHIT! I managed to get my hands on a copy of acceptance speech:

I personally believe, that U.S. Americans,
are unable to do so,
because uh,
some, people out there, in our nation don’t have maps.
and uh…
I believe that our education like such as in South Africa,
and the Iraq,
everywhere like such as…
and, I believe they should uh,
our education over here,
in the U.S. should help the U.S.
or should help South Africa,
and should help the Iraq and Asian countries so we will be able to build up our future,
for us.

NoWireHangers August 29, 2008 at 12:29 pm

Our Wonkette is still being shady. FIX EEEETTT. I need my Wonkette during a crisis.

Miller August 29, 2008 at 12:29 pm

Fiscal conservatism is back baby! Just think of how much McCain will save the government only paying Palin 80% of what men VP’s make.

http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/

OffTheRecord August 29, 2008 at 12:29 pm

I think the woman behind McCain just came.

Also, this music makes me feel like I should be on a Conestoga wagon.

jasonelias August 29, 2008 at 12:29 pm

McCain and Palin look preposterous together.

CthuNHu August 29, 2008 at 12:30 pm

“Thank you for reminding me that I am 112 years old, and am likely to die in my sleep during my third Presidential afternoon nap!

Now please meet your next, next President, who has exactly as much experience in state and federal government as Barack Obama had ten years ago. It will be her delicately sculpted hands that will crush Al-Qaeda in Iran, defeat Shiite extremism across the Arab world, from Pakistan to Malaysia, and retrace Sherman’s march to the sea, only backwards, driving the Russians out of Georgia this time.”

grendel August 29, 2008 at 12:30 pm

[re=75123]The Incomparable Tiny Valdez[/re]: Links? This information needs to be spread…

Vanity Smurf August 29, 2008 at 12:31 pm

[re=75142]MoodProcessor[/re]: Score!

AppalachianWino August 29, 2008 at 12:31 pm

[re=75132]Q2[/re]: after all those youngins, a fisting might be in order.

The Incomparable Tiny Valdez August 29, 2008 at 12:31 pm

[re=75142]MoodProcessor[/re]: WIN

jagorev August 29, 2008 at 12:31 pm

[re=75149]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: What you just posted is about as bad as this:

http://www.worldnetdaily.com/index.php?fa=PAGE.view&pageId=73276

dutchie August 29, 2008 at 12:31 pm

[re=75142]MoodProcessor[/re]: Well done sir! The space brownies are on me!

Rush August 29, 2008 at 12:31 pm

fuckin’g Al Gore – broke my internets

MargeSimpsonsBlackFriend August 29, 2008 at 12:32 pm

[re=75125]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: But…she can’t get all weepy because the haters (like me) will scream at her that big girls don’t fucking cry and then will go on and on about how she is setting women back 10 million bajillion years. When Putin calls her up after McCain gets skin cancer for the 8 zillionth time or hits his head on another automobile, she’s going to have to “man up” as the saying goes.

I hope Biden doesn’t pull his punches. He needs to go after her with the same vigor he would if she had a penis.

S.Luggo August 29, 2008 at 12:32 pm

“Sarah, it’s 3 a.m. and your children are safe and asleep. Who do you want answering the phone?” http://blogs.citypages.com/gop/mccain.jpg

Vanity Smurf August 29, 2008 at 12:32 pm

A voice like Shirley Temple.

Inadequate Blackmail August 29, 2008 at 12:33 pm

What the hell is a Snow Machine Racer?

Sean O August 29, 2008 at 12:33 pm

[re=75139]jagorev[/re]: How many undecided voters do we really think Wonkette has?

WindbagCity August 29, 2008 at 12:33 pm

Todd’s a snow machine racer!!!!!!

Squiggyfm August 29, 2008 at 12:33 pm

I will hand it to Palin, she DOES have the largest flag pin. She’s obviously the most qualified.

9/11!

DoctorCulturae August 29, 2008 at 12:33 pm

[re=75145]NoWireHangers[/re]: Sign me on too. Great idea.

Spiro Agnew August 29, 2008 at 12:34 pm

She really hit the UNITED STATES ARMY part pretty hard

thefrontpage August 29, 2008 at 12:34 pm

STUPID! This is absolutely one of the most STUPID moves in ages in politics. STUPID! Does the McCain campaign not know that the Alaska State Legislature just voted to investigate Palin and her cronies for alleged ethical violations in regards to the STUPID, unethical firing of the state’s solid Public Safety Commissioner? Well, that’s true–Palin is currently under investigation by her State Legislature. She is widely hated in Alaska. She is not proving to be a good Governor. She has no national political experience. She has no foreign political experience. She has no experience governing or crafting legislation on a national level. She knows nothing about foreign policy. There is a backlash against her in Alaska. No one knows about her. She is certainly not as good as Pawlenty, Romney or Ridge–all of whom would have made sense. Palin is a horrible, sad, terrible choice for the Republicans and for McCain–this will completely blow the election for them. There’s just one word: STUPID. Bye, McCain–enjoy your retirement from national politics.

AnnieGetYourFun August 29, 2008 at 12:35 pm

[re=75139]jagorev[/re]: THANK YOU. Not because of the voting thing, but if the best you guys can do is call her a slut… well, that’s just fucking lazy.

Teh snark… ur doing it rong.

dball213 August 29, 2008 at 12:35 pm

The Bidens didn’t use Beau’s deployment as a campaign gimmick. Bad form Ms. Palin.

RooseveltFranklin August 29, 2008 at 12:35 pm

She is wearing a Banana Clip!

itgetter August 29, 2008 at 12:35 pm

[re=75170]Squiggyfm[/re]: THAT is a flag pin. She is obviously compensating for a small penis.

The Incomparable Tiny Valdez August 29, 2008 at 12:36 pm

She is a DISASTER! I’m so happy. Biden will mop the floor with her.

Cogito Ergo Bibo August 29, 2008 at 12:36 pm

BUT HOW MANY HOUSESE DOES SHE OWN?!

Sorry. Had to ask.

capt. tim August 29, 2008 at 12:36 pm

you can’t get more in touch with the heartland of america than the steward of a freezing wilderness that has less constituents than a mayor of any reasonably sized city elsewhere in the country.

Strictly for the Tardcore August 29, 2008 at 12:36 pm

[re=75145]NoWireHangers[/re]: I disagree. It’s an attention grabber, but by WalNUTS!’s logic, where nothing Barry’s said has any substance whatsoever, this is the most shallow, cynical thing any candidate has ever done in the history of ever. Hell, by that rubric, Caligula getting his horse a Senate appointment was a less empty gesture.

Count me in for a healthy campaign-debt donation if the Kill-Palin rally goes through.

[re=75139]jagorev[/re]: Fair enough. My apologies to anyone I offended.

Having said that, Palin needs a funny nickname. I move for “Glasses!”.

tunamelt August 29, 2008 at 12:36 pm

[re=75153]jasonelias[/re]: It’s like some really decrepit millionaire and his gold-digger stripper wife.

Tybalt August 29, 2008 at 12:37 pm

T3H H0TN355 I5 D357R0Y1NG W0NK3773!!!! OH NOEZ!

[re=75143]Delicious[/re]: Yes, if by “moose burgers” you mean “my whanger”, and if by “does” you mean “I CAN HAZ?”.

NoWireHangers August 29, 2008 at 12:37 pm

[re=75160]jagorev[/re]: AHHHHH!

HeyHey August 29, 2008 at 12:37 pm

I live in the South among the kinds of conservatives who would support Palin’s political views, and I find myself asking on their behalf, Who’s going to raise her 5 kids now? A lot of conservative “hockey moms”will think she has no business accepting a job like this when she has 5 kids, one of which has special needs. It may seem like she’s found an excuse to get away from her kids.

Tybalt August 29, 2008 at 12:38 pm

[re=75174]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: I can still horndog her all the way back to Fairbanks though, right?

BigDupa August 29, 2008 at 12:38 pm

close your eyes, sounds like Tracy Flick

jasonelias August 29, 2008 at 12:38 pm

Well I was worried, until I heard her speak, ha!

Strictly for the Tardcore August 29, 2008 at 12:39 pm

[re=75151]Miller[/re]: WIN

[re=75142]MoodProcessor[/re]: EPIC WIN!!!

Tybalt August 29, 2008 at 12:40 pm

[re=75128]Destonio[/re]: Not good enough. I want pictures.

MoodProcessor August 29, 2008 at 12:40 pm

McCain taps Alaska Gov. Palin…..huh, huh, yeah….heh…

RooseveltFranklin August 29, 2008 at 12:40 pm

Magic Underpants don’t seem so crazy to me anymore.

itgetter August 29, 2008 at 12:41 pm

She says “nuke-u-ler.” Yay!

Big Al1317 August 29, 2008 at 12:42 pm

[re=75129]OffTheRecord[/re]: I did see that too. She was hot in a transgender sort of way.

0ldsteel211 August 29, 2008 at 12:42 pm

Gosh (if elected) straight males for the first time in history could…
I’ll be walnuts had the “happypants” when he made the call
And FLASH, this just in Sen Kay Hutchinson, live on CNN just before her acceptance speech,
confirmed reports, that Sara Palin was an ADEPTDEBATER, got to get out my sex dictionary
G

Rush August 29, 2008 at 12:43 pm

VP Debate

B. Hume
Mr. Biden, what is the largest crisis facing the U.S.?

Biden
I’m from Scranton

CASE CLOSED

Tybalt August 29, 2008 at 12:43 pm

[re=75110]tunamelt[/re]: You weren’t this excited when “Uterus Al” Gore was making his case, though, were you?

AnnieGetYourFun August 29, 2008 at 12:43 pm

[re=75196]Tybalt[/re]: Yes. I’m right there with you.

Spiro Agnew August 29, 2008 at 12:43 pm

AH DID ANYONE SEE THE LAND MONSTER IN THE AUDIENCE!!! WATCH OUT!

Strictly for the Tardcore August 29, 2008 at 12:43 pm

[re=75192]HeyHey[/re]: Oh, it’s cool. She has a stay-at-home dad, who reminds me of Dante Hicks from Clerks and looks about as lost. I’m sure they won’t electrocute themselves playing with hair dryers or anything.

itgetter August 29, 2008 at 12:44 pm

OH HELL NOES!! She is NOT fucking talking about Ferraro and Hillz!!*U%#*TU*#!))#(%*

Hillary needs to come out one of the Sunday shows and destroy this woman.

Big Al1317 August 29, 2008 at 12:45 pm

Oh Jeebus she just invoked Hillary’s name as a saint. The disenchanted hilbots just crossed over.

tunamelt August 29, 2008 at 12:45 pm

She doesn’t even know what the vice-president does. I mean, fuck if I know what the veep does, but if she’s going to be veep, she should know, right?

tunamelt August 29, 2008 at 12:48 pm

[re=75256]Big Al1317[/re]: [re=75254]itgetter[/re]: Well, it’s not like they’re hiding exactly what they’re trying to do by having a woman as veep.

Inadequate Blackmail August 29, 2008 at 12:48 pm

I’m going to start calling her “Bizarro Ann Richards”.

Big Al1317 August 29, 2008 at 12:49 pm

[re=74938]Blue Myself[/re]: She was confused, dogs or kids. Oops!

Strictly for the Tardcore August 29, 2008 at 12:49 pm

[re=75254]itgetter[/re]: If she would say the words, “How dare this insolent little schoolgirl namedrop me like I’m endorsing her? Tell you what, have another term in Alaska WITHOUT being under investigation for corruption, and get back to me,” I would sell my car and give the proceeds to her campaign.

shoeho August 29, 2008 at 12:50 pm

In spite of what many may think, many HRC supporters did not support her just because she didn’t have a dick. Some of us actually liked her stance on things. I think it’s a little insulting to think we’d ALL go over to Walnuts and the GILF*.

Talk about anti-feminist. As far as I’m concerned, any woman pol who doesn’t think other woman are smart enough to control their own bodies is a traitor. And that’s before we get into the robo-Repub who has invaded the body of the former “maverick.” I’d be about as likely to vote for Jesse Helms, and he’s dead, isn’t he? Or was that Strom? I get my southern diosaures mixed up.

*Using this because the beloved Wonkette does, I don’t swing that way, although some of my best friends do.

CthuNHu August 29, 2008 at 12:51 pm

Hey, Mrs. Cheating Snowmobile Racer!

This is from a comment on a February 2008 news story, so it’s guaranteed to be true:

http://community.adn.com/adn/adn_pubstory_316352#comment-151613

February 15, 2008 – 9:09pm | Skeptical1

Crash is news but nothing last year re penalty for cheating?

Why is this minor injury crash (among many in the Irondog this year) newsworthy when you failed to even mention in ADN coverage of the race last year that Palin/Davis were caught cheating in Nome, working off the clock on their machines, and given a controversial slap-on-the-wrist 10 minute penalty for the cheating when many Irondog fans thought the penalty should have been 1-10 hours. That incident was newsworthy– race followers are still talking about it this year.

login or register to post comments | flag this »

February 17, 2008 – 12:10pm | cjdraveling1

Cheating

Oh, Plllleeeezzzz….his wifey is the governor and at that time high up with the politicians. They wouldn’t want the governor’s skeletons to be let out of the closet….she was quite the snowmachine drunk on their weekends at the Forks Roadhouse in Peters Creek too. Guess that makes a good choice for election of officer of some sort in the political realm! There is sooooo much publicity and advertisements on the name Palin, it makes me want to barf!!! There are others in this world too besides Sara and Todd!!!

More fun here! http://community.adn.com/adn/node/127769

Also, gays? If you wanted to be equal, you should have thought about that before you decided to be gay:
http://dwb.adn.com/news/politics/elections/governor06/story/8049298p-7942233c.html

“Palin said she’s not out to judge anyone and has good friends who are gay, but that she supported the 1998 constitutional amendment (to reverse an Alaska Supreme Court ruling that same-sex partners of public employees couldn’t be denied spousal benefits (e.g. health insurance)).

Elected officials can’t defy the court when it comes to how rights are applied, she said, but she would support a ballot question that would deny benefits to homosexual couples.

“I believe that honoring the family structure is that important,” Palin said.

She said she doesn’t know if people choose to be gay.”

NoWireHangers August 29, 2008 at 12:51 pm

AH! I’m at work, no TV, etc. A friend just emailed me that Palin said something about the Glass Ceiling?! WHAT? What is going on people?!?! Details!

THOSE GOP MOTHERFUCKERS INVENTED THE GODDAMN GLASS CEILING! It’s ON Bitches. If they want to go there, we’ll fucking go there. The GOP calling US SEXIST? The GOP trying to be a party of diversity and progess? OH. NO. YOU. DIIIII’NT!

itgetter August 29, 2008 at 12:54 pm

[re=75285]Strictly for the Tardcore[/re]: Oh my god. Do you think the second half of that statement would fit on a bumper sticker? Because WIN.

[re=75276]tunamelt[/re]: I know, you’re right. I just already have rage when I hear Geraldine Ferraro’s name, and combined with the circumstances I lost it like I was John McCain being told he’s getting a little thin on top.

disgustedcitizen August 29, 2008 at 12:54 pm

Wait! Inquiring minds want to know: Is WALNUTS! throwing over Cindy for Sarah? Sarah looks younger then Cindy Cunt, so that’s a plus for her, but does Sarah have enough money to support Johnny in the manner he has become accustom to?

btwbfdimho August 29, 2008 at 12:56 pm

[re=75006]jagorev[/re]:
Biden on the debate:
“Governor, I served with Sara K,. I know Sara K., Sara K. is a friend of mine. Governor, you’re no Sara K.

NoWireHangers August 29, 2008 at 12:57 pm

[re=75289]shoeho[/re]: Yes, intelligent people will see through this ploy. But we’re talking about the American people. People who voted for Bush. TWICE. I’m a little concerned.

Norbert August 29, 2008 at 12:57 pm

now, I can be as shallow and objectifying as the next man, but sheesh, wonketteers. let me be the first and only to say that I would not ‘tap that’. something about the fact that she is a Republican — that one word — just gives me a massive soft-on. unusual I know, but true. for example: Sara K Smith = eminently nubile; Sarah Palin = are you kidding me?

Strictly for the Tardcore August 29, 2008 at 12:57 pm

I’ll say this: this is probably the single ballsiest move I’ve ever seen WalNUTS! make. He may have either just won or lost this election for himself.

But, wow, this does just smack of flopsweat and desperation, doesn’t it?

itgetter August 29, 2008 at 12:58 pm

[re=75293]NoWireHangers[/re]: Splainy–

Palin said that she would be remiss if she didn’t mention two women who helped crack the glass ceiling (or somethin’) and then she proudly thanked Hillary and Geraldine Ferraro for being strong women, etc… And I lost my mind.

itgetter August 29, 2008 at 1:00 pm

[re=75293]NoWireHangers[/re]: Gist–

“88 years almost to the day since women got the right to vote. I think as well today of two other women who came before me… must honor the achievements of Geraldine Ferraro… and Senator Clinton who showed such determination and grace… Hillary left 18 million cracks in that glass ceiling… we can shatter that glass ceiling once and for all!”

AnnieGetYourFun August 29, 2008 at 1:01 pm

[re=75289]shoeho[/re]: I agree – if you actually support Hillary for her platform, then McCain would be a terribly choice, and yet all I hear about on the news is how all these former Hillary supporters can’t POSSIBLY bring themselves to vote for Obama, and will vote for McCain out of spite.

Is that the MSM exaggerating? Or are there actually people dumb enough to do that? I’m thinking a combination of the two, because I see evidence of both.

artbot2000 August 29, 2008 at 1:04 pm

[re=75075]jagorev[/re]:

Exactly! This nomination is like an early extra-secular christmas Present for Wonkette! The second I heard of this Ithought two things: second, that the Onion had scored some kind of media coup, and first, that this is a triumph and a guarantee of fun for Wonkette. So relax and enjoy, and leave the handicapping to the idiots at Slate.

I figured it was gonna be Thune and a campaign of endless darkness and pain. Instead, apparently, they’re going for the perky version of that. This won’t be fun, exactly, but it will for dqmn sure be bizarre, and that’s Wonkette with Wonkette sauce on top.

grendel August 29, 2008 at 1:04 pm

[re=75280]Inadequate Blackmail[/re]: That’s disrespectful to the awesomeness that was Ann Richards

shoeho August 29, 2008 at 1:05 pm

[re=75311]NoWireHangers[/re]: Well, yeah, that Bush thing has had me confuzzed for the last few years too. That and Absolut, for the pain.

I seriously doubt hardcore Bushies were going for Bar and Joe anyway. The countryclubRepubs are worried about their tax breaks and the so called “hardwurkin’ ‘Mericans” are worried about their, ah, well, you know.

I don’t see the “middle” middle being this stupid. But then, I thought Gore won in 2000.

Wagamuffin August 29, 2008 at 1:09 pm

[re=75142]MoodProcessor[/re]: Win!

Gopherit v2.0 August 29, 2008 at 1:11 pm

[re=75130]masterdebater[/re]: You’ll have to thank itgetter and JadedDissonance. They sent me that link and the
http://www.hillaryis44.org site when the liveblog of the roll call vote was happening and the PUMAs are screaming for blood.

NoWireHangers August 29, 2008 at 1:14 pm

[re=75329]itgetter[/re]: I WANT A KNIFE FIGHT. NOW. KILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!
[re=75345]shoeho[/re]: Gore did win. But winning isn’t enough these days. The GOP is full of tricksy devils. This is pure pander shit. And it may fly. Rove is laughing, somewhere. Too bad it isn’t hell.

tunamelt August 29, 2008 at 1:17 pm

[re=75351]Gopherit v2.0[/re]: A little further down on that site, but Michelle Obama broke out another cocktail dress from her Chicago supply house of cocktail dresses and joined her husband to preside at the unDemocratic funeral in Denver. …the hell?

Mo MoDo August 29, 2008 at 1:31 pm

As a mother of five she just seemed like the least likely prospect to result in a Larry Craig level scandal. Yeah, I’m looking at you, Crist.

Cogito Ergo Bibo August 29, 2008 at 1:33 pm

“[Palin] admits that she used marijuana when it was legal in Alaska, but says that she did not like it.”

There goes the dirty hippie vote.

Lionel Hutz Esq. August 29, 2008 at 1:39 pm

I’m starting to think that all those clips of Paris Hilton convinced McCain that Hotness was the first requirement for Vice President.

[re=75032]jagorev[/re]: Barry Husein is no Dukakis. It is just a shame that Bernie Shaw raped Kitty Dukakis.

velvet_turnip August 29, 2008 at 1:41 pm

Ahahahaha ,her nickname is “Sarah Barracuda”.That’s all I need to know.Next to the stupid names of her kids, which she is abandoning.
Although,… if she had named her kid Tris instead of Trig- THAT would have been cruel.

velvet_turnip August 29, 2008 at 1:50 pm

[re=75351]Gopherit v2.0[/re]: I seriously almost vomited reading that shit.
hillary, please kill her-or I will.

crankybureaucrat August 29, 2008 at 2:15 pm

[re=74957]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: Yes, Alaska is totally corrupt. However, Palin made her name and won in 2006 on her “No more corruption, ever” platform. She has proven to be petty and vindictive (forcing the firing of a trooper married to her sister). Not impressed with that.

AngryBlakGuy August 29, 2008 at 2:39 pm

[re=75160]jagorev[/re]: …Um no. The difference between the garbage I post is, I’m being snarky and satirical also I’m not trying to pass myself off as a journalist. Now as far as that site goes their sole purpose is to purposely spread mis-information to the public. Now anyone who thinks that me comparing the former Miss Wassila 1984 to Miss Teen S.Carolina is spreading scurrilous rumors then they may need to turn their snark level up a notch or 5.

DoctorCulturae August 29, 2008 at 2:47 pm

[re=75351]Gopherit v2.0[/re]: ugh. My blood pressure just went up 10 pts from teh stoopid over @ hilz44.

The “logic” floating around is beyond post-rational.

“If you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce it takes much more like prunes than rhubarb does.”

moviechick August 29, 2008 at 3:10 pm

Oh great. A Poor man’s Hillary. At first I thought she was Karen from Will and Grace.

Mr. Spanky August 29, 2008 at 3:11 pm

Wait a minute! Does this mean that Charlie Crist will be calling off his arranged marriage?

And I just got my invite to the wedding it in the mail!

I guess McCain has decided to pass on the gay vote.

Inadequate Blackmail August 29, 2008 at 3:45 pm

[re=75343]grendel[/re]: Well, Bizarro was a retarded version of Superman and I’m calling Palin a retarded version of Ann Richards: She’s rugged, she hunts, she’s western and, in this case, she’s retarded. I live in Texas. I know the what what about Ms. Richards, thank you.

bloodsprite August 29, 2008 at 4:30 pm

So McCain, Do you really beleve that you need experience to be president?

Or does experience not matter if their hot?

edgydrifter August 29, 2008 at 5:52 pm

[re=75146]Strictly for the Tardcore[/re]: Oh, but here is where you are tragically wrong. I was just over on a certain motorcycle forum that shall go unnamed. You would be astounded to the point of sui/homicide if you read 98% of the posts there. Consensus is that Palin has vast wealth of sexecutive sexperience, because she A) was the mayor of Tundrafuck, B) ran “many small businesses” before that though nobody can remember their names, C) has defended Alaska against ravaging hordes of starving polar bears by personally shooting or drowning every last one of them, and D) looks a bit like Mary Ann from Gilligan’s Island.

NebraskashireGentry August 29, 2008 at 6:56 pm

am I the only one who thinks this choice oddly inspired? that, through their selection of Palin, the McCain campaign reveals an uncharacteristic thoughtfulness, originality and desire to win?

sure, she’s “unqualified to be President” should occur the, very likely, possibility that John McCain die in office.

BUT I think she’ll prove one hell of a vote-getter in the actual campaign. and by that I mean: Glenn Beck is pleased. isn’t that really the only rubric that matters?

well, either all of that OR she’s the only person who agreed to board this future train wreck.

masterdebater August 29, 2008 at 7:21 pm

[re=75391]Cogito Ergo Bibo[/re]: Well, now she’s just lying! I’ve had the weed in Alaska, and it is top drawer. I don’t think I can trust her. But while we’re on the subject, I am still waiting for just ONE politician to admit that they smoked the hell out of the stuff, quit for their own reasons, and are only admitting it now because too many people saw they wasted, for it to be covered up…well, you know, at least that’s MY story, and I think it’s as American as apple pie!

YellowScientist August 30, 2008 at 9:31 am

[re=75007]NoWireHangers[/re]: Um, yeah, but the rest of us don’t want to share it with you.

jack August 30, 2008 at 11:03 am

She’s a lumberjack, and she’s OK,
She sleeps all night and she works all day!

…oops. Wrong Palin.

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