Wonkette
Hello, friends! We have completed our four-mile 2008 iteration of “Sherman’s March To The Sea” and, appropriately, burned down all of once-happy Denver in the process. Again, we have walked back from Invesco Field and destroyed Denver; it’s probably on Drudge or Yahoo News or something. As we were going to Hope Field at -20,000 o’clock this afternoon, who did we find on our Shuttle but lovable Connecticut failure Ned Lamont, the 2006 Democratic candidate for Senate who lost to Joe Lieberman, an independent shit-rat. What a guy that Lamont is! He was entering the stadium just like everyone else: in agony.
While we cretins waited in line for nothing, these Fat Cat businessmen were playing golf, in the parking lot.
Did you know it’s Sara’s birthday today, or rather yesterday? She turns 84 years old, just like John McCain! Oh and there’s Ned Lamont just stone cold standin’ in line. He also turned 87 today!
We asked the Official Obama Vendors, “How much are those plastic molds of Obama’s torso?” They were not for sale, replied the dinguses.
Finally, the eternal Resting Place of Ass. Until the Secret Service came and stole our shit while we were getting lemonade, wtf. This would’ve never happened in Ned Lamont’s Connecticut.
Newell, your beard… What do you feed it?
Many happy returns of the day(s) Sara(h). Should have had Wolf hold yer stuff while getting said lemo–between his knees. Would have been safe there.
are those torso shirts bulletproof explaining why the SS sole them from you?
InsidiousTuna: That is Layne. Newell cannot appear on camera in the daylight, on account of his pasty albino complexion.
…Jim I’m surprised the Secret Service didn’t declare you an “Enemy Combatant” and disappear you. That beard should have at least earned you a extra hard and deep reaming anytime you got up to use the restroom by security.
…oh yeah and how were the Decemberist?!
AngryBlakGuy: …and when I say Jim I’m referring to its Aramaic pronunciation which sounds like Ken Layne.
Honestly, are you guys from Mayberry? You just left your stuff on your chair and strolled away for a refreshing lemonade?
Love ya, but I knew better than that when I was in elementary school.
going for a lemondade??? you fuckin’ elitist!#!#
hopefully it did not taste too “bitter”
I’m glad you included that photo of Ned Lamont. It’s good to see that he finally got the lips of some of those Firedoglake’ers surgically removed from his arse.
Sara looks like the Wonkette logo girl in that picture.
As a nutmegger (loser from CT) myself, I can assure you that in Ned Lamont’s Connecticut laptops never would be stolen. And no one would be worried about security. Because Lamont would have just deported all the poor people and used their empty slum apartments to store his mountains of cold, hard cash.
I saw Ned Lamont stabbing a giant knife into a pumpkin with Joe Lieberman’s face on it. I don’t think he’s gotten over the loss yet.
http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/
Are you sure it was the secret service??? Maybe some stalker took your stuff to add to their large altar they have to you!
Right now, some fruitcake is wearing his magic undies, bowing before a wall covered with printouts of this blog, surrounded by candles as he (she??) genuflects before his booty snagged from your unattended seats.