Wonkette
Hey, HERE’S A HINT: when you go to get a lemonade at Invesco Field, don’t leave your bag in your seat, because the SECRET SERVICE will take it. LIVEBLOG. OBAMA. NOW.
10:30 — Oh you don’t even care anymore, with your precious Al Gore liveblog.
10:34 — What’s been going on in this 950-minute speech? Guess what… we think he’s about halfway through. Snooze.
10:35 — Oh look, we made it for the standard “5 million green collar jobs” line that has been in every speech of this terrible Democratic convention.
10:37 — God, he is constantly talking about his mother with cancer tonight. The question is, did she have it for FIVE AND A HALF YEARS? Otherwise, John McCain is more of a maverick.
10:38 — Protect bankruptcy laws! Which Joe Biden shat all over a few years ago!
10:39 — He wants his fathers… to have the same opportunities… as your sons. How about this: Just Say No to old people.
10:40 — You heard him, folks: turn off your teevees, or he’ll bat you with his hopecock.
10:41 — “Temperament” should be used in every speech against McCain. Nice that people are learning this.
10:42 — “The president must not keep grasping the ideas of the past.” Meaning Barack Obama was against the Iraq war before it started, in the future.
10:43 — “We are the party of Kennedy. Don’t tell me that Democrats won’t protect this country.” But doesn’t he know that Democrats became gay and black in 1968 or so?
10:44 — He will start new friendships or something, around the world. Slut. But really, who are these new friends?
10:45 — Line about how candidates should not challenge each other’s patriotism, and a reporter in this media filing room clapped. It is a terribly liberal media, this. Oh wait, he’s just some asshole in a tee shirt and Nikes. Huh. How did this asshole get in the filing room? How did we get in here while we’re targets of the Secret Service? These questions, and more. Obama! He is talking like what.
10:47 — “Don’t tell me we can’t stop people from holding AK-47s.” We can’t stop people from holding AK-47s.
10:49 — He wants gays to be allowed entry into hospitals. Whoa whoa whoa… one thing at time there, changebot.
10:50 — “This election has never been about me — it’s about you.” Ooh, so if he wins, then we get to press the special red nuking button. I call first MOTHAFUCKA, and I’m nuking like Greenland or Spain or what the fuck.
10:51 — Change means new politics. This must be a last minute thought, just thrown in before he walked onto the stage, because it’s JUST THAT FRESH.
10:53 — He is just repeating shit. And yes, it is “the American spirit” that keeps foreigners “coming to our shores.” Coming to our shores and 9/11ing us!
10:55 — He’s talking about a famous preacher from the past, Jeremiah Wright.
10:56 — That was kind of an anticlimactic end. But uh, it sounded nice, if people paid attention to the whole thing, which they didn’t. God this is seriously the biggest stadium of all time. Now Ken and Sara and I will take the 3-hour commute back to our car that is 2.4 miles away.
God bless YOU, Wonkette readers. With your help, Wonkette will bring America *six* million new green collar jobs.
I’m here! I’m here!
Oh. It’s just me.
AW, we’re here for you, Jim.
bush sucks and no more oil in 10 years and americans aren’t whiners.
I care!
And by “here for you”, I mean, DUDE WHAT THE FUCK? You had one job to do and you left your bag lying around? And aren’t there three of you?
I just want Obama to pay for my GTI. That would be awesome.
Cars made in America? Sounds like communism to me
Glad to hear the nuclear mention… that’ll get the energy nuts creaming their pants
He’s going to /tap/ natural gas reserves… that’s a very different turn from Pres. Clinton…
Sorry your laptop was detonated. And it’s taking time to refresh.
Wow: he actually knows how to pronounce “nuclear.”
OMG. Wait. How? I’m all about college eductation, but how?
wow, you guys really dropped the ball on this.
So, what are the rules again?
Every time he quotes Marx, 1 drink
Every time he says “Allah” 1 drink
Every time he says “I am that I am,” chug?
iwillsavethispatient: Hey, I’d tap that.
iwillsavethispatient: I would let him tap me, too, though. Clinton, not so much.
Little Sasha has no idea what she’s clapping for.
AnnieGetYourFun: fuck Kerry. Jim Newell in Your Corner.
AnnieGetYourFun: Some “G.I. Bill” or “G.I. Joe” or “Barbie Ferrari” or something.
Jim, lemonade? you elitist
He’s going to personally pay for my health care. I WUV him.
Sounds like Jim has had an intimate encounter with the latexed hand of a Secret Service agent. I hope he was gentle.
Plans that cost money, there’s the catch.
Does he know how long the budget is? There goes the first term…
iwillsavethispatient: He’s pledging to tap that gas.
But Meghan gets equal pay being an unemployed trollop blogger right now.
Woah, bureaucracy is bad? Uh, hi. Steve Forbes called, and…
AnnieGetYourFun: Didn’t you hear, Ken is off spreading venereal diseases over at the McCain rapid response center.
And I assume that now that she is in the presence of Obama, Sarah is to overcome to blog.
So Jim is it, I suppose.
Government can’t do it all?! Shit, now he wants us to actually do the work.
nevermind
Cool! Barry’s gonna give me a ladder!
he just told all the deadbeat black baby-daddies they need to be responsible. chug one shot of hot sauce with a chicken wing chaser.
Jesus, Barack’s penis is, like, dragging on the freakin’ ground here.
I’m surprised McCain hasn’t conceded yet
Responsibility, what? Did he turn into a Repube? I think he just smacked McCain in the face and said “pistols or swords?”
The RNC is going to be working late nights trying to outdo this.
loquaciousmusic: But he said something about “serving you community”, too.
Lionel Hutz Esq.: That’s genital transcendence that I can believe in.
obfuscator: He’s a fine motherfucker, and he’s going to tap that gas up.
Was that a thinly veiled riff on Bill Cosby’s deadbeat dad responsibility speech?
Oh snap! I don’t blame Walnuts for not wanting to go to OBL’s cave… I guess when you grew up in one you’re reluctant to go home again.
…the first debate is going to look like a grandmother being mugged!
Saber rattle, saber rattle…
yes, kill that muslim feller. very good
Olbermann totally spoiler’d that “gates of hell.. ” line.
…follow and find OBL and fuck him in his deep dark cave.
What if bin Laden lives in one of McCain’s houses? Hmmmmmm?
Turn off the teevee? What about ‘Eight is Enough?’
Hypocrite.
So McCain hasn’t shown up at Obama’s cave?
Living in a cave is less elitist than seven houses - is that the hidden message here?
A couple of nice, powerful hits scored on the failure to capture Bin Laden.
I thought Obama was going to be delivering this speech from the Parthenon. Where are the naked dancing Greek homosexuals?
…talk about bringing a knife to gun fight! You’re killing him Hopey!
we thought you people died and were v v sad.
AnnieGetYourFun: You say that, but then he draws you in with those puppy dog eyes, and the next thing you know, you are on your back playing hide the cigar.
Rush: They were probably using child labor too.
grendel: He always pisses off a bunch of people with his personal responsibility thing - but it brings the independents over.
“Pistols or penises, beyotch?”
Mc Crancky is really gettin an ass whoppin here!
…I think Hillary was lucky that Barry didn’t go bare-knuckle on her ass!
loquaciousmusic: …he is jumping rope with it!
He needs to say “Evil Doers”
micapam: Don’t worry, Romney’s REIT firm will buy several million acres in Afghanistan, as an investment property. Bin Laden’s bound to turn up in there somewhere.
loquaciousmusic: Oh, fuck. WIN.
Lionel Hutz Esq.: Bills? Bleh. No, seriously. He smells like Cheetos and Jack Daniel’s. I can tell from here.
“Don’t tell me that the Democrats won’t defend this nation.”
Ooooh, Barry, you brought the a-game.
Doesn’t Mrs. Biden look like one of the hottt waitresses on It’s a Living?
MLK, very nice
goosebumps are back… fuck…
Nice. “Last best hope.” That’s MLK’s line.
No more poverty? How am I gonna know I’m rich?
…and illegal music downloads.
newell, do you just hate everything and everyone, or what?
Talley Bonn, an unmarried 37 year old who lives alone with her two cats, looked up surprised from her bowl of Crispix. Did Barack Obama just say her name? She couldn’t be sure, and Mr. Whiskers sure wouldn’t back her up.
AnnieGetYourFun: Ironically, what he’s asking for in terms of personal responsibility is like, the bare minimum that we should expect of someone.
…now he is trying to be nice? That like Ike Turner beating the hell out of Tina and then apologizing! LoLz
I swear that woman two rows behind Biden to the left looks like Lynne Cheney
“The bottom line is patriots wear lapel pins, and I’m wearing one. See”
Oh, FUCK. Goosebumps. Somebody get over here and do me.
Getting good now!
Dramatist: They are all already up in St. Paul limbering up for the Republican convention.
…And now the real tears come. He’s back to the not red, not blue theme. That’s why I fell in gay terrorist fist jabbing love with him in the first place.
Slap down!
“We all put country first… you ancient jagoff!”
…c’mon gimme one more smackdown before you leave!!!
Democrats chanting “USA USA USA”. Up is now down.
“I got news for you John McCain, we all put our country first.”
Oooh burn. Barry’s getting me excited.
AnnieGetYourFun: If you live in Fairfield like Rush, I’m totally there!
AnnieGetYourFun: K
“We all put our country first.” Hahaha — there goes the Republican convention theme. Maybe they can do a Happy Days theme instead. They’ve got a few days, if they don’t focus on that hurricane thingy.
d4g33z: I laughed so hard at that. At first I thought Barry didn’t get it and I was like “awww” but then he laughed and I knew it was SO intentional.
Yay- St. Barry just abolished poverty, disease and violence!
Hmmm… I guess that just leaves drugs, secs and rock’n'roll for entertainment.
I guess it’ll do. For now, as long as it buttsecs.
here comes the soaring rhetoric
McCain’s ass is sooooooooooooo kicked
OMG, my radio just went out. Right at the gay part.
Did Fox buy NPR without anyone telling me?
Gay and lesbian brothers and sisters!
He has gay siblings!
Wait… isn’t unwanted pregnancy a trollop’s punishment for running loose? Next Barry will call for relcommuting the sentences of all violent prisoners, too.
…wow, he just hit the 3 G’s in rapid succession. Talk about confidence!
He knows you all want something larger and firmer.
McCain doesn’t take political positions for political reasons?
Mack Daddy
We’re getting to the hopey stuff now. This is fine, but I was really enjoying the smack downs.
Oh… fuck… snark is dying away. I can’t believe we’re nominating this wise, sensible, intelligent leader for president.
75,000 gay-sexin’ abortion-lovin’ gun-hatin’ maniacs!
He said “firmer” and Trojan in the same sentence! Heh, heh…
He’s looking right into the camera now, have you noticed?
AnnieGetYourFun: I’ll be right over. As soon as he’s done.
“if you don’t have a record to run on, you paint your opponent as someone to run from”
hehehe, smack down is back, baby.
This guy’s got some balls.
My hopecock is engorged.
Cindy will be putting her country first after she moves to Dubai!
Something is stirring… in my pants.
jagorev: I know. I’m lovin’ it.
It’s not the Abstinence States of America, or the Abortion States of America, it’s the Unwanted Pregnancy States of America.
Something is stirring… in my pants!
And yes! it’s about me… won’t someone give a hand?
Barry: “All across America, something is stirring.”
Yes. Millions of erections and clitori. *pant pant pant*
I like Barry angry and snarly.
not typical pedigree = uppity negro
Me? Really? It’s about me, Barry? Just stroke me more with your velvety gay-siblinged voice.
What’s it look like when 80,000 people simultaneously cream their pants and start crying on TV?
AnnieGetYourFun: Pedal faster!
…did he just call McCain old?!
He should turn the “ownership society” idea on its head and talk about our ownership of his campaign.
Somewhere in Provincetown (if he’s still on vacation), Andrew Sullivan has ejaculated on a MacBook Pro.
jarsilver: No McCain is made of honoride and fortiduium you communist.
grendel: Shall I fire up my webcam?
Oh, wait. That’s just one.
“Change happens”
I think I just found a new bumper sticker.
Quasi legal downloads?
jagorev: Knock on wood, Dammit, knock on wood! Before it’s too late!
something is definitely stirring…in my pants.
I wonder what animal he is going to sacrifice at the end. That’s what the Merslums do right?
“Change doesn’t come from Washington, it comes to Washington”
Ok, speaking as someone born in DC, the PROBLEMS tend to come TO Washington with those folks on the 2 and 4 year employment cycles.
MrAgro: Yeah, I’m waiting for the next brilliant teevee allegory. Welcome Barack Kadr?
Is he talking about ghosts?
Obama smokes American Spirits?
AngryBlakGuy: haha..i was thinking the same thing, but you worded it perfectly. SLAP!!! …sorry baby!
BREAK OUT THE MLK FUCK YES DO IT DO IT DO IT.
Finally, an MLK shoutout!!
oh shit.. oh shit… killing us here… wow…
Goosebumps again.
I think this guy looks French.
If he ends with MLK, I’m going to die.
I know this happened a while ago, but does anyone else think it was suspicious that he said that we need to ‘go after Bin Laden in the cave that he lives in’? Are we to understand that he KNOWS where Bin Laden is? When is the last time Obama was hanging out with Osama? Who done did 9/11?
I’m just saying is all…
barack obama just dealt the martin luther kind jr card, and he dealt it from the bottom of the deck.
Do you think the RNC folks noticed the significance of this day when the DNC picked their convention dates?
…WALNUTS! just got Unicorned!!!
I SWORE I wouldn’t cry. Won’t cry. Won’t cry. Won’t cry… Shit.
If I see Rachel after this I’m going to get that funny feeling down there.
Now, now, before we all get to wrapped up in this, do remember that he is a commie, gay, Muslim, hippie crack head friend of Paris Hilton who hates America.
Get me some fucking Puffs Plus!
BARRY WINS THE WORLD
And he takes MLK’s mantle in 5, 4, 3, …
…Barry just blew a hot, thick and sticky load of hope all over everyone in that stadium! I hope your eyes were closed cuz that shit stings!
A++++++ squeeeee
I don’t know if anyone noticed this, but I think he just totally plagiarized MLK. What a plagiarizing plagiarist.
JeffGoldblum: or play Rugby on horseback with a sheep carcass. That’s what Rambo III taught me anyway.
All those flags….RNC is going to have to out-do it. Everyone will be wearing Uncle Sam outfits next week.
Oh, he cut the “Kill Whitey.” I think that’s a good move.
Not even Brooks & Dunn can kill my HopeBoner.
OK bitches - Rush poll time
Scale of 1-10 please. (10 = multiple o’s)
Country music?!?!
What is this song, “Beer for my Horses”?
What is this country music bullshit? PLAY THE BOSS MOTHERFUCKER!!!
What is this country music shit?
MrAgro:
What does that make Obama? Changide hopicitate?
Damn, I’m feeling all hopey.
Closing with country music! LOL Take that Republicans!
Is that Toby Keith music?
AngryBlakGuy: …in the ass
Country music? No Snoop?
Rush: I’d give it a “FAIRFIELD COUNTY 10,” which is like 4,000 whore diamonds in Kansas.
…oh-god not more Sasha & Malia! I was just trying to quit!
I just hoped in my pants.
Uh, excuse me … I think I’ve got something in my eye …
Terry: “Hm. Well, this doesn’t fall on the day that that uppity negro was shot, so… well, I guess it’s OK. Tell them we’re good with it. And we’ve still got the anniversary of the founding of the KKK for our convention? Good.”
Oh, someone is going to loose an eye from those fireworks.
COUNTRY MUSIC! I think I lost my wood.
He matched his tie to his whole family… Ugh… Where is Jay-Z?
jarsilver:
ok that was awful. I apologize for that.
It’s the all-embracing spirit. Hell, I’ll even do a hippie right now!
those daughters are SOOOOOOO cute!
Rush:
8
Would have been a 10 if he’d ended with some form of “I have a dream”
OK, the sound of those fireworks just scared the living fucking shit out of me. Fuck. This had me really on edge.
country music closer. holy shit. swinging for the fences.
He is just rehashing everything he’s said during the campaign.
Brit Hume called him Barack Hussein Obama… what a dick
Country music followed by… uh… Copland, maybe? Weird segue.
snark free. I am crying. He hit this one pitch perfect.
Fellow commentators, you are all witty but Newell just _kills_ me…
“Remember the dream…don’t turn back America”
queue country music
Um, I SAID I just hoped in my pants. Damn, tubes, catch up.
jagorev:
Now that’s change you can xerox.
AnnieGetYourFun: Too late.
Rush: 8, only because the boring parts were SO lame.
KittyKatMan: on stilts
AHHHH the Dems are playing COUNTRY music!! oh you are REALLY trying to piss the republicans off
AnnieGetYourFun: oh my god, me, too!!
It’s Star Wars all ovee again!!
The most vacuous speech Barry has given in his life. Pour more vodka and put me to bed. Sorry.
I didn’t think it would be, but it ended up just a hair less gay than the opening ceremonies of the Olympics. Good on you, Democrats! But let’s fag it up in the debates, kay?
I can’t wait until next week when McCain spends an hour talking about who took his strawberries.
DieOnTheTurnpike: Can’t be wrong.
Political Addict:
Damn, no flip floppin!
GOP response: “Ooooooooh heeeeeee’s GOOD.”
I have to go. Rachel might be on and I can’t type with one hand.
Keith Olbermann just came all over Chuck Todd.
WOW. IZ AMZN. TH T00BS IZ PACKD WITH PTATO SALAD.
They should have ended with “America, Fuck Yeah!” Or maybe that are saving that for the GOP.
Whew! I was going to stab a bitch if we were deprived of a confetti cannon or ten.
…rub that hope in, its good for you!
Political Addict: yes, a serious tactical blunder for a huge campaign appearance.
sarcasm emoticon.
Political Addict: Yep. That’s the point. This is his longest infomercial!
Keith Olbermann also thinks that Michael Douglas should play Barack Obama in a film. That film? Manding-POTUS.
GO AMERKA!
I really should have dated the guy who ran the projector in high school. I might have been the wife of a software billionaire or a potential first lady. Damn Damn Damn.
…uh-oh Chris Matthews has another man crush!
loquaciousmusic:
driving my lexus straight to denver
I mean, I get why they chose a country song, but it’s all a little too obvious.
All right, guys. I’m going to bed. I’ll talk to you all later. And see you at Ash Creek on the 3rd!
BigDupa: The NYTimes used Barack Hussein Obama to announce his official nomination. It is no longer racist to use his middle name.
Jeez, what’s with the creepy orchestra music? I keep expecting Voldemort and/or Dick Cheney to appear in a cloud of smoke and kidnap a princess.
Did he bring a family member from Indonesia? What’s Sulu doing on stage? Or is that his laundry guy?
…is Joe Bidens wife crying?
grendel: I think it’d detract points for the direct link. Only Retch-uglicans like to be hit over the head.
(Actually, I’ve got some kinks, too, but none that… self-destructive.)
Biden’s wife is crying. That, or she has starfetti in her eye.
WTF?
…now Chris Matthews is talking military strategy!
Goddamn it, Hopey. How the hell can I remain a cynic now.
Rainbows and Unicorns for everyone!!!
Franklin Pierce & Pierce: Perfect!
As far as the fireworks go, I’d say they were powned by the Chinese. Just sayin’.
I thought for a second that Barry was going to smooch Biden. Let’s hope other folks prone to slash fiction didn’t notice the same thing.
If we don’t FUCKING win this thing…
WTF is with this music? Is this Lord of the Rings 4: the search for hope?
Chris Matthews is losing his mind. he will be fired tomorrow. But hey, what the hell?
JeffGoldblum: Born in the USA would have been perfect except for that whole “kill the yellow man” line. Maybe they could have played “Something to Believe”?
The great part about Obama’s speech is that he disarmed all the potential lines of attack that are coming next week. All he has to do is say, “see, they are doing what I said they would because they have nothing else to offer.” This is what Democrats never do.
What’s with the crappy music? It sounds like music rejected for the Olympics. He should have played a Wagner overture.
Oh, the Chinese do better fireworks than the DNC.
Wow.
Well now I’m all drunk and anti-climactic-i-cized.
Political Addict: I look forward to the fresh new ideas that McCain will offer up in response to Barry’s rehash. I expect to be inspired and uplifted.
i have starfetti in my eye
i plan to leave it there
MSNBC is totally just going to show hot white girls crying for the rest of the night.
Chris Matthews’ crazy spittle yelling backed by the epic Obama orchestration was infallibly perfect.
Later it will be revealed that Malia and Sasha were computer generated in China.
This is the most beautiful political event of my lifetime. That is, until he’s sworn in.
Tobywankenobe: …well being that the Chinese don’t give a fukk if they give everyone in the first 12 rows 2nd and 3rd degree burns I guess you are right!
It’s like the END OF A FUCKING MOVIE!
Lionel Hutz Esq.: Is the “kill the yellow man” line meant to be… NOT racist? Like, calls out the racism that arises during warfare?
Plus, they played it earlier.
NoWireHangers:…ATTICA!!! ATTICA!!! ATTICA!!!
why are tweety and olbertroll talking over the closing prayer? why do they hate our christian nation?
The little girls playing in the confetti…Oh god. My womb is falling out!
Oh, and, Born in the USA is not exactly a PROUD song, right? I mean, it’s calling out what’s wrong with the country. But it might be good to play it just to remind everyone that McCain was born in Panama.
I just kicked off, as Chris Matthews mentioned, the “coming century.”
NoWireHangers: It’s like Aaron Sorkin on ecstasy!
Oh, right…
for some real excitement, be sure to wait for CNN to ask David Gergen what he thought - hrumph
Is Nancy dressed like an Austin Powers villain?
Pelsosi sucks at Go-Go.
NoWireHangers: …the only movie I have ever watched that I didn’t want a body count!
oh fuck - you changed threads
sort of
i’m so in the past
*weeping*
Is Born in the USA going to be our next national anthem? This might be the biggest downside of a Democratic Presidency.
ok seriously people. we are w/out our fearless leaders and if we get all SOFT and WEEPY, they will CLOSE US DOWN.
snark snark snark back to it snap snap IMMEDIATE ORDERS
…I wonder what Bill Kristol thinks?
OMFG, Matthews is going to cry. Let it out, man. KO’s got big shoulders
Uhh… He kind of just kicked ass. Hard.
God. I’ve gotta pull myself together and go frost the Obama “O” cake. It’s been quite a night. If we’re not up by like 10 points after this, I’m gonna start poppin’ caps.
greatest speech I’ve ever heard…and I’m only 5. Can’t wait to vote for him in 2017 or something…
I was wondering who TP’d the stage, but then I saw Joe Biden coming out. What a cad!
AngryBlakGuy: inadequate?
AngryBlakGuy: Flat, nothing new.
AngryBlakGuy: Bill actually understood the “we ALL put country first” line. I’ll be dipped.
/fuck bill kristols
AnnieGetYourFun: Republicans take it at face value, which is stupid. Democrats take it with irony, which is okay, because it is super-cool and elitist.
I want to know how they licensed that song from Brooks and Dunn. (Yes, I’m from Arizona, I know some country music) Those fuckers gave that song to Dubya in 2004.’s eat some rotten
Let’s eat some purtid, Republican souls Hopey.
AngryBlakGuy: kristol already wrote his review of tonight’s speech like, monday or something.
NoWireHangers: New Gallup is Barry +6, according to NPR.
MSNBC is literally just showing shots of hot chicks. I think it helps Olbermann and Matthews spank it to the speech.
I’m sorry, but I got all wet when Big Elvis spoke last night, and this wasn’t the same
Uh-oh, Chris Wallace on Fox NEws liked the speech. He is going to get shit canned.
*sobbing* that was soooo good.
I felt like that black dude in Coming to America watching Sexual Chocolate, clapping and saying, “That boy was good! that boy was good!”
I’m going to wear a flag lapel pin everyday now.
I’m booking an Amtrak train to DC for Jan. 20. I MUST BE THERE.
AngryBlakGuy: Bill Kristol is just mopping up right now, he’ll be back momentarily to continue being a giant secret liberal douche.
Signing off, drunk.
AngryBlakGuy:
Amy Holmes is a stupid cow. Pie eyed apologist for the right.
I feel better for saying that.
The Neoskeptic: It’s heroich how he can type with McCain’s cock buried to the hilt in his mouth.
Even all stuffed up wid da code id hiz dose, the man can talk. I’d better stock up on video tapes to record the debates for laffs.
144 days, 4 hours, 39 min and 20 seconds.
Twinkle Twinkle Lil Star: Barry should totes appropriate “Sexual Chocolate” as his new nickname.
damn, i was going to buy a Barack Obama baseball cap and his stupid online store is down. DAMN IT, John Mccain figured out how to use the interwebs and crashed Barry’s site!
Seriously, what the fuck can McCain do next week to even counter, never mind top, this? Put himself in a bamboo cage and waterboard himself for an hour?
Fuck you Brian Williams!!! Stop fucking talking about Russert!!!
MSNBC has done two Sorkin shoutouts now. Williams & Olberperson.
obfuscator: I was watching the speech with my dad and i was like, “Damn, that is a sexy, sexy man,” and my dad’s like, “YOU CAN’T THINK YOUR PRESIDENT IS SEXY, that’s just wrong!”
(I think my dad secretly thinks Barry is sexy too)
Aussies do better fireworks than gunpowder-inventors. Therefore, Pyro King Award goes to Aus. Not Dems. They’re different, as far as I know…
How come so little financy and are well not all kinda fkd by Wall St? Big target, shots wide.
Why can’t the internet hope-fairies fix Barry’s store? I want my Obama baseball cap now!
Gopherit v2.0: I would vote for McCain if he waterboarded himself.
Twinkle Twinkle Lil Star: Barry is definitely DILF material.
AnnieGetYourFun: I would vote for McCain if he recreated his crash and subsequent recapture by the Vietcong… and had it directed by John Landis.
I really can’t figure out something funny or even snarky to say…Oh! I got it!
I take my coffee black. Like my first families.
No balloons?! He really is a different kind of politician.
Twinkle Twinkle Lil Star: *err… capture.
Unless the Vietcong captured him twice?
What’d I miss?
NPR is doing stupid coverage of people at DNC watch parties, blabbing on the cell phones from really loud rooms full of drunken Dem orgies. I am SO JEALOUS that I’m not at one.
AnnieGetYourFun: …I’d vote for McCain if he let Joe Lieberman anally fist him in Time Square at rush hour while dressed as 2 dollar crack whore with jumper cables attached to his nipples testicles. Too much?
Expect Daffy Duck and Yosemite Sam at the RNC next week. Should be a serious cartoon.
Godless Liberal *: …oh nothing, Hopey just ascended to god hood thats it.
Twinkle Twinkle Lil Star: I’m slowly breaking down my lifelong GOP parents with my incessant Barry love. I’ll have a sign in their yard by the end of September.
Hmmmmm clear and starry night. Mild breeze. 70 degrees 34% humidity??? I hope those Focus on the Family nutjobs knees are bleeding!
nyhfrog: I take my president like I take my coffee…
MOCHA CHOCO-LATTE YA YA!
Chris Matthews had him a hopegasm.
AngryBlakGuy: That was tonight? Crap, nobody told me!
I did see it, and I might have gotten a little misty-eyed (and no one should EVER get misty-eyed watching CSPAN) but don’t ever tell anyone that.
So am I the only one who thought it dragged in bits after the first 20 minutes of goodness? Go ahead and throw yer bad produce.
Anyone count the thank-yous at the beginning? United States of Gratitude? Mmm, no.
AngryBlakGuy: She’s been crying the whole convention. We’ve been drinking to it in these parts.
I was actually sobbing. I called my black BFFFFF and I was like, “OMG, I think I totally became black tonight,” to which he replied, “You’re an idiot. We are ALL black already.”
P Drizzle: Opposites. I thought it got better as it went on.
Rush: I really hate that whispering old bastard!
That was pretty fucking amazing. He had huge hype coming in, and he exceeded every possible expectation. I cried like a motherfucker when Michelle and the kids came out at the end. Wow.
Dave J.: It would be so… strange to have a president who actually lived up to expectations.
I’m sorry but you got it right at the beginning. It was the most important speech ever.
AnnieGetYourFun: You are right, but hell, John Kerry got shot three times in Viet Nam, and the Republicans made that out to be a sign that he was a commie.
Tobywankenobe: That just makes him sound elitist again.
Dave J.: I’m so glad I wasn’t the only one; he cheats with his beautiful family…
NoWireHangers: Dude, he’s ALREADY up by like 10 points. Tru fax. Check RCP.
HAH! the crowd was losing its mind for the random other chick on MSNBC, then went QUIET when Rachel started speaking.
Men and women want her.
heh. My mom just got home from work and is watching the speech for the 1st time. She is losing her shit in the living room.
Man, I have never seen my mother so excited about anything. We’re Asian. We’re supposed to be inscrutable!
LOLZ, the Republicans are now talking about postponing their convention because of the hurricane. They got utterly and thoroughly pwn3d tonite.
Oh, man. Sharpton and Jesse Jackson coming up on MSNBC…
*covers eyes*
Tucker Bounds is the whitest, douchiest man ever
Forecast: Bereft of substance & new ideas, the GOP will respond to tonight by getting uglier and uglier with their ads and columns and tv punditry.
This live blog *really* sucked.
obfuscator: Problem must have been that I stopped drinking.
I don’t even know what to say. It was a thing of beauty. I cried.
majortominor: Yeas, Mr. Newell. Barry’s the one wid da code. Whudz yer eggscuze?
majortominor: You must be a lonely, lonely person.
Away bitter.
Whitiest douchiest ever? How about McCauliffe?
There are some Hilltards in my neighborhood who mist up about the colossal unfairyness of it all, but thyr a bit short on what happens next. More crap message management. If there was a game-plan, if should have involved some spin on the concession for local readerships. It didn’t. Not competent.
Wow. He got home in time to send me an e-mail!
that’s it, I’m voting for Al Gore….damn it, I told myself I wouldn’t cry….
Well, the upside is we can now go do alcohol and party drugs and skip the McCain speech. After 12 hours of Barry, what could McCain find to say?
David Brooks expressed disappointment in the speech. Though he didn’t say why, but I think it’s cause “Everyone Loves Raymond” reruns were pre-empted.
Rule of Thumb: every fifteen minutes over an hour in your speech means a drop of 2% in the polls. Barry is close to Nader ratings now.
I got a little misty when he was talking about his Grandma watching this from home.
AnnieGetYourFun: I, for one, will NOT welcome our new Panamanian Overlords.
Favorite word, “ENOUGH!!!!”
He is definitely bringin’ sexy back, especially with the hot Biden family, and that kiss Barry laid on Jill. Before Reagan, I thought the Dems were the party for sexy people, and then something happened to the gene pool. Now look at these beautiful people, inside and out. I need a big hug from Beau, Jill, Michelle, Joe, the veteran Uncle, Michelle’s mom, Joe’s mom, and Barry from a lingering hug with an “accidental” kiss.
Pat Buchanan was overwhelmed, reading the text of the speech with it held up close to his eyes. Chris actually had to cut him short…poor Pat, just when the crowd was rooting for you.
The AP review was crap!!!!!!!!!!
GOP will delay their convention to pick another candidate (hmmm or some hurricane fear cover story.)
Would it be wrong to pray for rain next week?
The “Only in America” song has been played throughout Barry’s primary, and it always puzzled me in a way like you don’t want to google it. So here are the words:
Sun coming up over New York City
School bus driver in a traffic jam
Starin’ at the faces in her rearview mirror
Looking at the promise of the Promised Land
One kid dreams of fame and fortune
One kid helps pay the rent
One could end up going to prison
One just might be president
Only in America
Dreaming in red, white and blue
Only in America
Where we dream as big as we want to
We all get a chance
Everybody gets to dance
Only in America
Sun going down on an La. freeway
Newlyweds in the back of a limousine
A welder’s son and a banker’s daughter
All they want is everything
She came out here to be an actress
He was the singer in a band
They just might go back to Oklahoma
And talk about the stars they could have been
Only in America
Where we dream in red, white and blue
Only in America
Where we dream as big as we want to
We all get a chance
Everybody gets to dance
Only in America
Yeah only in America
Where we dream in red, white and blue
Yeah we dream as big as we want to
Brooks and Dunn
So why didn’t they televise the undercard bout where they threw James Dobson and Ted Haggard to the lions?
On to Minnesota! $10 to anyone who dresses up like either (1) A Viet Cong general, (2) Angela Lansbury, or (3) the Queen of Diamonds during WALNUTS’ acceptance speech.
bigpfeifinphilly: They prayed for rain on the Dems’ convention. I’m praying for meteors or Skrulls.
I wish I’d been able to see the whole speech. For what I saw, it was probably the best pure political speech ever given in the history of ever. Fuck, the best speeches Bill ever gave left people cheering. Barry left a stadium of 80,000 people CRYING.
It makes me smile that the Rebuttlickins immediate response amounts to a bunch of vacuous arm waving and going, “But IS HE READY????
Like, seriously, he can’t be ready, right?”
Now that I’m thinking of it, is it too much to hope for a ridiculous uber-gaff from WALNUTS!’s acceptance speech? Like dropping the “n-bomb” on Barry or something? Is that even possible?
Can you say “Hawaiian foursome” after all this hard work? I’m dialing up an upgrade for Google Earth for that one….mmmm….forBiden love….
The hidden bonus of the end of the Bush administration: The twins are fair game for the tabloids. This could cause reaaaaaal global warming…
Obama is “the son of a black man from Kenya and a white man from Kansas”
http://newsbusters.org/blogs/seton-motley/2008/08/28/abcs-moran-obamas-parents-are-both-men
lolz.
I KNEW HE WAS TEH GEY!
Gustav will overpower the RNC
http://www.latimes.com/news/politics/la-na-gopstorm29-2008aug29,0,1057901.story
OHMIGOD I HAVE THE SAME TIE BARRY WORE TONIGHT