CONVENTION LOVERS  11:06 pm August 28, 2008

Barack Obama Causing Marriage Everywhere

by Jim Newell

As you listen to this HORRIFYING thriller soundtrack playing in Invesco Field while Obama walks off, here’s something cool that happened before the Secret Service apprehended us: a proposal, immediately in front. As soon as the would-be groom got on his knee, Al Gore walked on stage, and it almost seemed like the crowd’s eruption was responding to this Hope Couple. Maybe it was. She said yes, and we obnoxiously took a photo.

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Hola wonkerados.

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AnnieGetYourFun August 28, 2008 at 11:07 pm

AND now they ARE playing Born in the USA again.

Um, those aren’t teh gayz.

AnnieGetYourFun August 28, 2008 at 11:08 pm

Call me when you get a picture of the consumation. But only if Barry is there.

bago August 28, 2008 at 11:09 pm

Totally ruining my dubstep soundtrack to the convention.

artful abortions August 28, 2008 at 11:10 pm


What’s next?

apocalypsethen August 28, 2008 at 11:10 pm

so newell DOESN’T hate everything. my heart’s cockles are warmed.

El Bombastico August 28, 2008 at 11:11 pm

If Obama loses, it’s not legal and they can get a quickie annulment.

AngryBlakGuy August 28, 2008 at 11:11 pm

…its not fair to ask a woman a question like that when she is clearly having a Hopegasm!

Rush August 28, 2008 at 11:11 pm

is that Chuck Todd proposing??

AnnieGetYourFun August 28, 2008 at 11:12 pm

[re=74523]artful abortions[/re]: Well, at least we’ve got that over the Repubs, who support secret gay child molesting.

d4g33z August 28, 2008 at 11:12 pm

Mysteriously, the CNN logo emerged from the supplicant’s forehead…

AnnieGetYourFun August 28, 2008 at 11:13 pm

[re=74529]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: YES! YES! OH, GOD, YES!

Where the fuck did this ring come from?

Political Addict August 28, 2008 at 11:13 pm

Terrific comment from someone at Political Punch:

The good thing about the stage – I think those columns will look nice on the front of the Obama household in Chicago. Maybe turn part of the stage into a porch for that extension of his yard. Have the Rezkos over for a barbeque.


scott_dog August 28, 2008 at 11:16 pm

Clearly an Obamatard, as you can tell by the way he proposed. A McCain supporter would have just called her a cunt and smacked her upside her makeup-caked face

KittyKatMan August 28, 2008 at 11:16 pm

Too bad Barry’s speech was way past McPowPow’s bedtime. He missed something fierce.

jimh August 28, 2008 at 11:17 pm

Awww… she’s crying because she WANTS to say yes, but he just refuses to shave off that obnoxious goatee.

Rush August 28, 2008 at 11:17 pm

I once banged a cheerleader under the bleachers – never asked her to marry me though

masterdebater August 28, 2008 at 11:17 pm

Great! Next they’ll be want to have kids!

gliberal August 28, 2008 at 11:17 pm

She thought he said “Will you Barry me?”

professor.cj August 28, 2008 at 11:18 pm

Does Hope have a pre-nup?

graceless August 28, 2008 at 11:18 pm

[re=74529]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: Considering his facial hair, I think he realized he needed all the help he could get.

I think it’s sweet! And Newell, it wasn’t obnoxious to take a picture of this special and intimate moment. It of course is obnoxious to post it here. It’s also of course, why we love you!

AnnieGetYourFun August 28, 2008 at 11:20 pm

And in case the couple sees this picture, what scott_dog means is that Cindy wears a lot of makeup, not this particular young lady.

[re=74540]Political Addict[/re]: Run along now. You bore me to tears.

Rush August 28, 2008 at 11:21 pm


send the photo to Drudge – maybe we’ll be famous for 13 minutes

jimh August 28, 2008 at 11:25 pm

[re=74558]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: Yes. In case they see this post, I hope they understand that snark is not to be taken personally. The facial hair totally works dude, congratulations on your engagement.

graceless August 28, 2008 at 11:25 pm

[re=74540]Political Addict[/re]: Beyond the pale. I’m plenty white enough to know what you’re saying, Anniegetyourfun’s right. Run along.

Godless Liberal * August 28, 2008 at 11:28 pm

Yeah, well, they still won’t be having the same kind of epic fucking the Obamas and Bidens (all ninety-three of them) are going to have tonight, to consummate the nomination.

Tybalt August 28, 2008 at 11:28 pm

[re=74540]Political Addict[/re]: That joke was more leaden than President Garfield. Here’s a clue… the brochure lies, if you get 1,000,000 McCain Points you don’t actually get a handjob from Barbara Bush.

jerryw August 28, 2008 at 11:31 pm

Did they issue her that maternity gown at the door?
Or is she going to use the belt as a necklace?
So many questions, so few heterosexuals these days.
Jerry w

Rush August 28, 2008 at 11:32 pm

night night bitches – need to count orange pant suits as I go nitey night.

NoWireHangers August 28, 2008 at 11:32 pm

I hope this means you’re getting laid tonight, Jim. Hell, there’s gonna be a lot of mile-high lovin’ tonight. It’s like shooting fish in a barrel!

schvitzatura August 28, 2008 at 11:34 pm

His wandering eyes are already lusting after the Unisex Pinpoint Oxford
Button-Up Shirt Girl, with the Brooke Shields beetle brows.

Gentlemen prefer heart-broken PUMAs…

HomoPolitico August 28, 2008 at 11:36 pm

They’re going to DailyKonvention for their Honeymoon, I bet

jimh August 28, 2008 at 11:40 pm

[re=74587]schvitzatura[/re]: I prefer my American Apparel models nakeder. But then, I’m no gentleman.

Lionel Hutz Esq. August 28, 2008 at 11:41 pm

[re=74512]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: The engagement was consummated in the bathroom during the speech, and Jim bravely stayed and covered the speech for us.

ex-patate August 28, 2008 at 11:44 pm

I stayed up til 5 am in the land of the frog-munchers to watch this thing, and I have to ask: Did I miss the shots of them, or did Bill and Hillary blow it off?

Cuz if so, wow. Wow, wow, wow.

AnnieGetYourFun August 28, 2008 at 11:44 pm

[re=74595]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: Well, can’t afford to have his bag confiscated again.

Hey, JimSaraKen, have you guys been witnessing any Daily Show shenanigans?

CrunchyKnee August 28, 2008 at 11:46 pm

Teh Clintons left the building before it ever happened.

I’m sure Chelsea hung out though.

Lionel Hutz Esq. August 28, 2008 at 11:49 pm

So, is anyone not getting laid in Denver tonight? I mean other than Sean Hannity and Karl Rove.

Lionel Hutz Esq. August 28, 2008 at 11:50 pm

[re=74598]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: Thank god he remembered to leave his stash at the rental.

mush August 28, 2008 at 11:51 pm

he must be some kind of hero to kneel during the torrential rainstorm that was prayed for & delivered upon the heathen horde, as the rain proves that God is on the side of the conservatives….hey, wait, where’s the rain?

102415 August 28, 2008 at 11:52 pm

Meanwhile the rain prayers are working, sort of. The republicans are afraid of the hurricanes and water of any kind and are thinking of putting off the convention. Or they are afraid to follow that act because Hopey was goodverygood.Since the whole point of the neo con party is fear based I would say they are chicken shit to follow that act or get rained on or give the nomination to a man unfit to be president. America hates them and Gustav hates them too.
Don’t worry there will be room for the internetz bloggers at the republican convention just book open tickets.

CrunchyKnee August 28, 2008 at 11:53 pm

[re=74605]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: I’m working on it, but we both have our noses buried in computers.

choinski August 28, 2008 at 11:54 pm

Jim Newell, will you marry me? Or is it Ken? Which one of you has the beard? That one! xoxoxox

AngryBlakGuy August 28, 2008 at 11:55 pm

[re=74605]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: …the amount of ass that has been flashing across my screen for the past 4 days is ridiculous. If I was there I would be getting girls pregnant left and right!

Lionel Hutz Esq. August 28, 2008 at 11:59 pm

I’m watching FOX’s coverage on TIVO, and Brit Hume had to cut off Carl Cameron giving the canned McCain response. Perhaps the gods are with the Democrats for once.

[re=74611]CrunchyKnee[/re]: That is how I usually get laid…, well, have sex.

graceless August 29, 2008 at 12:01 am

[re=74597]ex-patate[/re]: Yeah, they blew it off. So did Terry McAuliffe. Not sure if Obama told them to go, or if they just went.

AnnieGetYourFun August 29, 2008 at 12:05 am

[re=74597]ex-patate[/re]: Don’t know about Hillz, but Bill did not plan to be there.

scott_dog August 29, 2008 at 12:07 am

[re=74558]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: Yes, of course. No offense was meant to the lovely lady. Sometimes I forget that there are still a few people left in the world wow might take anything I say seriously.

If you are reading this, congrats to the couple, but I hope you two are finding much better things to do right now than browse the interweb.

AnnieGetYourFun August 29, 2008 at 12:12 am

[re=74625]scott_dog[/re]: Hey. I’m not just browsing the interweb. I’m also blogging and trying to figure out what porn to masturbate to.

Smoke Filled Roommate August 29, 2008 at 12:18 am

Yay Everything! I’m happy ! *gasp*
Prolly the booze, but it’s definitely a different happy. Is it the actual ‘happy’ that so many people talk about? I think I feel it!

snig August 29, 2008 at 12:19 am

I just hope if they have a daughter, they don’t name her Al Gore.

iwillsavethispatient August 29, 2008 at 12:21 am

[re=74628]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: Has CNN got the Obama speech to stream yet? If so, your problems are solved.

Jingo August 29, 2008 at 12:26 am

Dude. The last night of a convention is not like last call at a bar. We all get desperate for that last minute hook up with whoever’s still around. But if you’re lucky, you’re driving home before you sober up and see your date in natural light. Here there ain’t no sneaking out before dawn. When you sober up, you’ll still be engaged. On the up side, you can tell your kids that you proposed in front of 80,000 cheering fans… the down side is that not a single one of them was cheering for you.

Oscar Folsom Cleveland August 29, 2008 at 12:27 am

It’s official….now on to Minnesota. Get on board the Wonkettes party bus now, we leave in 20 minutes!!!

Wagamuffin August 29, 2008 at 12:29 am

Hey, I was washing my hair.

Did something big happen tonight?

iwillsavethispatient August 29, 2008 at 12:32 am

[re=74642]Wagamuffin[/re]: Some dude’s got engaged. People cheered.

snig August 29, 2008 at 12:38 am

[re=74610]102415[/re]: It’d be cool if they had a different biblical plague for each of their big speeches. Locusts would be the appropriate one for Mitts.

Jukesgrrl August 29, 2008 at 12:43 am

The hope couple looks really hopey. Hope they can get married on Inauguration Day. Mazel tov.

ms_mcgee August 29, 2008 at 1:11 am

People, she’s sobbing because she wore such a cute dress and he wore that shirt in public.

Ok, ok, it’s romantic.

Norbert August 29, 2008 at 1:12 am

ha, this is nothing. there are going to be more happy betrothals at Walnuts’ party in Minnesota than couples at a Moonie mass wedding at MSG.

Slutty_Chola_Cobbler August 29, 2008 at 1:23 am

Obama is definitely getting some puss tonight!

I see baby Barack on the way..

regisgoat August 29, 2008 at 3:20 am

I suspect they’ll give their first-born a name no one can pronounce. I mean, they have to.

Advn2rgirl August 29, 2008 at 8:19 am

@regisgoat- Nah, you heard Michelle: “I mean, who names their kid ‘Barack Obama’?”

Big McLarge Huge August 29, 2008 at 9:01 am

[re=74555]graceless[/re]: Well this story was just shown on CNN… so I hope she doesn’t have second thoughts now that Barry is gone.

TGY August 29, 2008 at 9:43 am

Awwww, twu wuve. *sniff*


edgydrifter August 29, 2008 at 11:39 am

[pausesnark] That’s really fuckin’ nice–good for them. [resumesnark]

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