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HELL BOWL

Who Are All Of These Rotten Democrats?

Fifteen thousand hours later, and we’re in. You know what would be great right now is a couch.


8:33 PM on Thu August 28 2008
By Jim Newell
2046 Views

  1. Squiggyfm says at 8:36 pm, August 28th, 2008

    Stevie just said “I know Barack Obama is going to set this country on fire.”

    OH TEH NOES!

  2. ForTheTurnstiles says at 8:36 pm, August 28th, 2008

    We Care A Lot.

  3. Lionel Hutz Esq. says at 8:36 pm, August 28th, 2008

    Jim, let us know when the New Caliphate is declared.

    And you, Sarah and Ken know that when the light comes out of the Ark, don’t look at it!

  4. keepinitrealyo says at 8:37 pm, August 28th, 2008

    Don’t give up! As soon as they’re done planting bombs and destroying marriage, they’ll be right on.

  5. jagorev says at 8:37 pm, August 28th, 2008

    Did you get a chance to see Fake Stevie Wonder accusing Barack Obama of being a pyromaniac terrorist?

  6. SayItWithWookies says at 8:37 pm, August 28th, 2008

    Yaaay! I figured you’d have trouble after TPM reported, at 4:07 est, that they got the last two seats in the press room.

  7. Empty seats, Denver? for shame.

  8. itgetter says at 8:38 pm, August 28th, 2008

    Squiggyfm: ZOMG! Quick! Pray for rain!!

  9. Gopherit v2.0 says at 8:38 pm, August 28th, 2008

    Squiggyfm: That’s Johnny McNukey’s job. Barack is supposted to cover the country with rainbows and unicorns.

  10. jagorev says at 8:39 pm, August 28th, 2008

    Al Gore is up next. Remember when we thought he was indistinguishable from Bush? Gush-Bore 2000? Those were good times.

  11. choinski says at 8:40 pm, August 28th, 2008

    I think they are unemployed Beijing volunteers.

  12. Walter Sobchak says at 8:40 pm, August 28th, 2008

    hey guys, you’re alive! We tried to burn the site down while you were gone, but no luck.

  13. AngryBlakGuy says at 8:40 pm, August 28th, 2008

    …Jim how was your full cavity search? Did you at least get dinner afterward?

  14. grendel says at 8:40 pm, August 28th, 2008

    You’re drinking in a bar and taking pictures off the TV screen, aren’t you?

  15. Gotta run for a minute - getting really warm here - need to blast some AC - oh there’s Al Gore

  16. SayItWithWookies says at 8:41 pm, August 28th, 2008

    Oh goody — is it a slideshow?

  17. I’m surprised at the empty nosebleed seats.

  18. SuperRounder says at 8:42 pm, August 28th, 2008

    Damn that blue tie.

  19. jagorev says at 8:42 pm, August 28th, 2008

    Sean O: There’s empty seats because of the insane security. Welcome to the post 9/11 world, we will never be not paranoid again.

  20. itgetter says at 8:42 pm, August 28th, 2008

    By the way, what is this business with Barry texting us? I replied with VOL + my name + location, but I don’t know why. The text just said, “to get involved locally.” I assume this means that Barry is going to make a shout out to me personally in the middle of his speech.

  21. bitchincamaro says at 8:42 pm, August 28th, 2008

    Al Gore is bigger than Stevie Wonder! Girth-wise.

  22. CivicHoliday says at 8:42 pm, August 28th, 2008

    He always sounds like he’s on Ambien

  23. Delicious says at 8:43 pm, August 28th, 2008

    Allahu Akhbar!

  24. SayItWithWookies says at 8:43 pm, August 28th, 2008

    No Al — thank you. How the hell did you lose to that motherfucker in the first place?

  25. AngryBlakGuy says at 8:43 pm, August 28th, 2008

    …yeah, thank a lot Al! You are only 4 months late on the endorsement!!!

  26. CivicHoliday says at 8:43 pm, August 28th, 2008

    Oh dear. He is saying “fuck you all, by not electing me you fucked yourselves”

  27. SuperRounder says at 8:43 pm, August 28th, 2008

    Did Al just drop an “I told you bitches you should have elected me?”

  28. Cookie Guggelman says at 8:43 pm, August 28th, 2008

    jagorev: You believed Nader’s Big Lie?

  29. upperleft says at 8:44 pm, August 28th, 2008

    If they aren’t they no longer have my respect.

  30. badco/LoJ says at 8:44 pm, August 28th, 2008

    OK, Al’s recycling joke made me laugh.

  31. bitchincamaro says at 8:44 pm, August 28th, 2008

    Two words, Al: Re Count.

  32. jagorev says at 8:44 pm, August 28th, 2008

    itgetter: Welcome to the cult! You now have to volunteer for Obama if you want your cat to live!

  33. itgetter says at 8:44 pm, August 28th, 2008

    Al Gore: “Hey bitches! See what happens when you don’t elect me?”

  34. Al Gore: I’d do him.

  35. hatinTheMiddle says at 8:45 pm, August 28th, 2008

    I’m not sure which is worse, watching these people congratulate each other on their speeches or watching them try to dance.

  36. AngryBlakGuy says at 8:45 pm, August 28th, 2008

    …who would have figured that FAUX News would have went on a commercial break during Gores speech?

  37. bitchincamaro says at 8:45 pm, August 28th, 2008

    Oh, oh, Al dissed Bill by propping Biden. Ha, Ha.

  38. jagorev says at 8:46 pm, August 28th, 2008

    Cookie Guggelman: I… uh… actually thought Bush was preferable because I would have liked to have a beer with him. I am not kidding, and I am not proud.

  39. grendel says at 8:46 pm, August 28th, 2008

    jagorev: What if I hate cats?

  40. which is Gore and which is the Greek column?????@#$??

  41. DizzyLizzy says at 8:46 pm, August 28th, 2008

    al is the lorax, he speaks for the trees

  42. itgetter says at 8:46 pm, August 28th, 2008

    jagorev: Noooooooo! Mr. Snuffles!!! I thought that Dems worshiped cats’ anuses! (I have never had to pluralize ‘anus’ before)

  43. SayItWithWookies says at 8:46 pm, August 28th, 2008

    This is the most scintillating Al’s bin in zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

  44. bitchincamaro says at 8:47 pm, August 28th, 2008

    Taking odds that Al does not utter the C(linton)word. Any takers?

  45. Will he run???

  46. CivicHoliday says at 8:48 pm, August 28th, 2008

    Ack! The end of civilization!

  47. badco/LoJ says at 8:48 pm, August 28th, 2008

    Al, slow down! You’re totally rushing.

  48. onosideboard says at 8:48 pm, August 28th, 2008

    Mmm, Daniel Dae Kim.

  49. El Bombastico says at 8:49 pm, August 28th, 2008

    a 50 year lease on the GOP is actually kind of a good line.

  50. AngryBlakGuy says at 8:49 pm, August 28th, 2008

    …FUKK ME!!! Can they stop reminding people that John McCain, has EVER been a decent person(and he hasn’t). Its like saying “That girl is ugly as hell, but I’d hit it!”. It doesn’t make any sense Geeeeeeeeeez!!!

  51. WhatTheHeck says at 8:49 pm, August 28th, 2008

    So I’m at work as usual and you guys are drinking and having fun, while the number 666 is being microchipped into every one ain Denver.
    Remember Gustav is coming!

  52. jagorev says at 8:49 pm, August 28th, 2008

    “They have a 50-year lease on the Republican party, and they’re drilling it for all they’re worth.”

    Ha ha, Republicans like gay sex, in the butt.

  53. itgetter says at 8:49 pm, August 28th, 2008

    onosideboard: Really? He finally made it off the island?!

  54. smellyal8r says at 8:49 pm, August 28th, 2008

    Why is Al turning side to side at the waist? His shoulders move from side to side like the animatronic robot the endeared itself to voters in ‘00.

  55. hatinTheMiddle says at 8:50 pm, August 28th, 2008

    blue tie day was yesterday

  56. loudmouthredhead says at 8:50 pm, August 28th, 2008

    blah blah blah, end of civilization, no ice cap, destabilizing nations, zzzzz. Whatevs. Why aren’t you exciting me, Al? Where’s the dramatic language?

  57. smellyal8r says at 8:51 pm, August 28th, 2008

    Daniel Dae Kim is there? What about the other passengers of Oceanic 816?

  58. bitchincamaro says at 8:51 pm, August 28th, 2008

    Showusyertitz, Al!

  59. AngryBlakGuy says at 8:51 pm, August 28th, 2008

    …now FAUX News is showing WALNUTS! Fukking WALNUTS!? Why do I even torture myself by flipping back and forth?

  60. Jukesgrrl says at 8:52 pm, August 28th, 2008

    Are y’all having pizza delivered?

  61. loudmouthredhead says at 8:53 pm, August 28th, 2008

    itgetter: “Feel pretty stupid for voting for Nader, doncha?! Payback’s been a bitch, eh?”

  62. El Bombastico says at 8:53 pm, August 28th, 2008

    According to Al, Barack better not go to the theatre anytime soon.

  63. AngryBlakGuy says at 8:53 pm, August 28th, 2008

    …why did he loose again?!

  64. smellyal8r says at 8:53 pm, August 28th, 2008

    Perfessor Al tells us what we need to know. Does the Nobel committee give a wallet card in addition to that big decorated plaque? Will he show us?

  65. CivicHoliday says at 8:53 pm, August 28th, 2008

    AngryBlakGuy: Is he trying to preempt Obama’s speech by announcing his VP choice?

  66. bitchincamaro says at 8:54 pm, August 28th, 2008

    AngryBlakGuy: …and your fellow Wonketeers, in turn?

  67. onosideboard says at 8:54 pm, August 28th, 2008

    itgetter: Apparently all the Losties need to do is drink and drive and they’d be home free.

    MSNBC showed him in the crowd… he’s the Asian dude in a white shirt.

  68. Delicious says at 8:54 pm, August 28th, 2008

    There is only One True God, and Barack Hussein bin Obama is his prophet.

    Wake me up when Abu Malia descends from the mount to speak.

  69. grendel says at 8:54 pm, August 28th, 2008

    Wow… Gore isn’t that exciting, but his speech rocks

  70. AngryBlakGuy says at 8:54 pm, August 28th, 2008

    Jukesgrrl: …only if Absolut Vodka is a topping!

  71. i’m giving myself a root canal at the moment - need to feel alive

  72. Cookie Guggelman says at 8:54 pm, August 28th, 2008

    AngryBlakGuy: Torture is wrong!

  73. smellyal8r says at 8:55 pm, August 28th, 2008

    I think Barry is going to have the same probs Al is having. I don’t think they can hear the crowd at the DNVR Parthenon. Plus, Al must have hit the Starbucks lounge backstage.

  74. AngryBlakGuy says at 8:56 pm, August 28th, 2008

    CivicHoliday: …nah, it looks like O’Rielly just being a turd as usual.

  75. loudmouthredhead says at 8:56 pm, August 28th, 2008

    Jukesgrrl: They’re picking off the weak and the sick amongst the delegates. How they cook, them I have no idea.

    Ok, I’m getting really sick with all the prayer-speak. This is nuts. Are they REALLY worth pandering too? GAWD!

  76. onosideboard says at 8:56 pm, August 28th, 2008

    “He looks like he could gore.”

    “Heh, he does look like Al Gore!”

  77. CivicHoliday says at 8:57 pm, August 28th, 2008

    new thread!

  78. hatinTheMiddle says at 8:57 pm, August 28th, 2008

    I wonder if the dinosaurs had an Al Gore - asaur and they all ignored him because he was so hard to pay attention to

  79. bitchincamaro says at 8:57 pm, August 28th, 2008

    Tweety’s getting it right on the supremes issue.

  80. AngryBlakGuy says at 8:57 pm, August 28th, 2008

    bitchincamaro: Cookie Guggelman: …it like popping a pimple. You know you shouldn’t but you just cant stop yourself!

  81. bitchincamaro says at 8:59 pm, August 28th, 2008

    Knock off the “greatest nation in the history of the world” bullshit, Tweety. Goddammm.

  82. manbearpig says at 9:00 pm, August 28th, 2008

    what about manbearpig?

  83. Godzilla says at 9:01 pm, August 28th, 2008

    “SI SE PUEDE!”

    /Cesar Chavez’s ghost leading a chant at Barry’s Parthenon

  84. AngryBlakGuy says at 9:01 pm, August 28th, 2008

    …ok, now that is pretty damn serious! When you start doing the wave at a political rally its the final sign of the apocalypse!

  85. bitchincamaro says at 9:01 pm, August 28th, 2008

    AngryBlakGuy: You’re a fukkin poet, my man.

  86. bitchincamaro says at 9:04 pm, August 28th, 2008

    Wow, it’s Mark Twain singing and playing. Oh, fuck. It’s Michael McDonald. Erp.

  87. itgetter says at 9:04 pm, August 28th, 2008

    AngryBlakGuy: Save yourself the trouble of checking in to get their commentary after Obama’s speech. Here is exactly what Bill Kristol will say:

    “You know, not to be a curmudgeon, but I just don’t get it. Was that supposed to be impressive? Where were the specifics? He should have laid out a complete point-by-point plan to solve all of our international conflicts, produce a billion dollar surplus, and create oil from puppy tears. Instead all I heard was HOPE this and CHANGE that. Although I barely heard a word since I was so distracted by those pretentious Greek pillars! Who does he think he is?”

  88. bitchincamaro says at 9:05 pm, August 28th, 2008

    OMG, Jesse’s is ready to cut Barry”s trucknutz off. and he said riot. he’s drunk. David Gregory sucks Jesse’s teeny weeny. JJ is one big ass motherfukkin hypocrite. WaddaCunt.

  89. bitchincamaro says at 9:10 pm, August 28th, 2008

    The milf in the red suit is lulling me to sleep. And it is good.

  90. bitchincamaro says at 9:14 pm, August 28th, 2008

    Holy shit! are we going to war with Denver cops??? Gawd bless our dissenting warriors!

  91. KittyKatMan says at 9:15 pm, August 28th, 2008

    CNN (Skeletor Carville) is going to jump on why those 10 seats up the nose bleed section aren’t taken.

  92. bitchincamaro says at 9:17 pm, August 28th, 2008

    I’m in love with the Sgt. Major behind the speaker. She’s the hot dominatrix in the pearl necklace.

  93. loquaciousmusic says at 9:19 pm, August 28th, 2008

    This thread is fun. God bless this thread.

    Can we start a new pre-pre-Obama thread, please?

  94. bitchincamaro says at 9:20 pm, August 28th, 2008

    Biden needs to grab the mic stand and smash the hell out of it on the the deck. I needs me some crowd surfing.

  95. bitchincamaro says at 9:22 pm, August 28th, 2008

    loquaciousmusic: This thread needs a CHANGE!

  96. bitchincamaro says at 9:24 pm, August 28th, 2008

    biden’s wife is so hot.

  97. KittyKatMan says at 9:55 pm, August 28th, 2008

    Steady KO, This is exciting, but don’t pull your jimmy out, babypops.

  98. KittyKatMan says at 10:01 pm, August 28th, 2008

    barry was husky as a kid….like me. That connects.

  99. Jukesgrrl says at 12:51 am, August 29th, 2008

    itgetter: Good job. I’d try to write one for David Brooks but I want to stay awake for the speech.

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