• May 27, 2012

Who Are All Of These Rotten Democrats?

by Jim Newell  8:33 pm August 28, 2008

Fifteen thousand hours later, and we’re in. You know what would be great right now is a couch.

{ 99 comments }

Squiggyfm August 28, 2008 at 8:36 pm

Stevie just said “I know Barack Obama is going to set this country on fire.”

OH TEH NOES!

ForTheTurnstiles August 28, 2008 at 8:36 pm

We Care A Lot.

Lionel Hutz Esq. August 28, 2008 at 8:36 pm

Jim, let us know when the New Caliphate is declared.

And you, Sarah and Ken know that when the light comes out of the Ark, don’t look at it!

keepinitrealyo August 28, 2008 at 8:37 pm

Don’t give up! As soon as they’re done planting bombs and destroying marriage, they’ll be right on.

jagorev August 28, 2008 at 8:37 pm

Did you get a chance to see Fake Stevie Wonder accusing Barack Obama of being a pyromaniac terrorist?

SayItWithWookies August 28, 2008 at 8:37 pm

Yaaay! I figured you’d have trouble after TPM reported, at 4:07 est, that they got the last two seats in the press room.

Sean O August 28, 2008 at 8:38 pm

Empty seats, Denver? for shame.

itgetter August 28, 2008 at 8:38 pm

[re=73691]Squiggyfm[/re]: ZOMG! Quick! Pray for rain!!

Gopherit v2.0 August 28, 2008 at 8:38 pm

[re=73691]Squiggyfm[/re]: That’s Johnny McNukey’s job. Barack is supposted to cover the country with rainbows and unicorns.

jagorev August 28, 2008 at 8:39 pm

Al Gore is up next. Remember when we thought he was indistinguishable from Bush? Gush-Bore 2000? Those were good times.

choinski August 28, 2008 at 8:40 pm

I think they are unemployed Beijing volunteers.

Walter Sobchak August 28, 2008 at 8:40 pm

hey guys, you’re alive! We tried to burn the site down while you were gone, but no luck.

AngryBlakGuy August 28, 2008 at 8:40 pm

…Jim how was your full cavity search? Did you at least get dinner afterward?

grendel August 28, 2008 at 8:40 pm

You’re drinking in a bar and taking pictures off the TV screen, aren’t you?

Rush August 28, 2008 at 8:41 pm

Gotta run for a minute – getting really warm here – need to blast some AC – oh there’s Al Gore

SayItWithWookies August 28, 2008 at 8:41 pm

Oh goody — is it a slideshow?

AxmxZ August 28, 2008 at 8:42 pm

I’m surprised at the empty nosebleed seats.

SuperRounder August 28, 2008 at 8:42 pm

Damn that blue tie.

jagorev August 28, 2008 at 8:42 pm

[re=73700]Sean O[/re]: There’s empty seats because of the insane security. Welcome to the post 9/11 world, we will never be not paranoid again.

itgetter August 28, 2008 at 8:42 pm

By the way, what is this business with Barry texting us? I replied with VOL + my name + location, but I don’t know why. The text just said, “to get involved locally.” I assume this means that Barry is going to make a shout out to me personally in the middle of his speech.

bitchincamaro August 28, 2008 at 8:42 pm

Al Gore is bigger than Stevie Wonder! Girth-wise.

CivicHoliday August 28, 2008 at 8:42 pm

He always sounds like he’s on Ambien

Delicious August 28, 2008 at 8:43 pm

Allahu Akhbar!

SayItWithWookies August 28, 2008 at 8:43 pm

No Al — thank you. How the hell did you lose to that motherfucker in the first place?

AngryBlakGuy August 28, 2008 at 8:43 pm

…yeah, thank a lot Al! You are only 4 months late on the endorsement!!!

CivicHoliday August 28, 2008 at 8:43 pm

Oh dear. He is saying “fuck you all, by not electing me you fucked yourselves”

SuperRounder August 28, 2008 at 8:43 pm

Did Al just drop an “I told you bitches you should have elected me?”

Cookie Guggelman August 28, 2008 at 8:43 pm

[re=73705]jagorev[/re]: You believed Nader’s Big Lie?

upperleft August 28, 2008 at 8:44 pm

If they aren’t they no longer have my respect.

badco/LoJ August 28, 2008 at 8:44 pm

OK, Al’s recycling joke made me laugh.

bitchincamaro August 28, 2008 at 8:44 pm

Two words, Al: Re Count.

jagorev August 28, 2008 at 8:44 pm

[re=73717]itgetter[/re]: Welcome to the cult! You now have to volunteer for Obama if you want your cat to live!

itgetter August 28, 2008 at 8:44 pm

Al Gore: “Hey bitches! See what happens when you don’t elect me?”

Liquid August 28, 2008 at 8:45 pm

Al Gore: I’d do him.

hatinTheMiddle August 28, 2008 at 8:45 pm

I’m not sure which is worse, watching these people congratulate each other on their speeches or watching them try to dance.

AngryBlakGuy August 28, 2008 at 8:45 pm

…who would have figured that FAUX News would have went on a commercial break during Gores speech?

bitchincamaro August 28, 2008 at 8:45 pm

Oh, oh, Al dissed Bill by propping Biden. Ha, Ha.

jagorev August 28, 2008 at 8:46 pm

[re=73725]Cookie Guggelman[/re]: I… uh… actually thought Bush was preferable because I would have liked to have a beer with him. I am not kidding, and I am not proud.

grendel August 28, 2008 at 8:46 pm

[re=73729]jagorev[/re]: What if I hate cats?

Rush August 28, 2008 at 8:46 pm

which is Gore and which is the Greek column?????@#$??

DizzyLizzy August 28, 2008 at 8:46 pm

al is the lorax, he speaks for the trees

itgetter August 28, 2008 at 8:46 pm

[re=73729]jagorev[/re]: Noooooooo! Mr. Snuffles!!! I thought that Dems worshiped cats’ anuses! (I have never had to pluralize ‘anus’ before)

SayItWithWookies August 28, 2008 at 8:46 pm

This is the most scintillating Al’s bin in zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

bitchincamaro August 28, 2008 at 8:47 pm

Taking odds that Al does not utter the C(linton)word. Any takers?

Rue August 28, 2008 at 8:47 pm

Will he run???

CivicHoliday August 28, 2008 at 8:48 pm

Ack! The end of civilization!

badco/LoJ August 28, 2008 at 8:48 pm

Al, slow down! You’re totally rushing.

onosideboard August 28, 2008 at 8:48 pm

Mmm, Daniel Dae Kim.

El Bombastico August 28, 2008 at 8:49 pm

a 50 year lease on the GOP is actually kind of a good line.

AngryBlakGuy August 28, 2008 at 8:49 pm

…FUKK ME!!! Can they stop reminding people that John McCain, has EVER been a decent person(and he hasn’t). Its like saying “That girl is ugly as hell, but I’d hit it!”. It doesn’t make any sense Geeeeeeeeeez!!!

WhatTheHeck August 28, 2008 at 8:49 pm

So I’m at work as usual and you guys are drinking and having fun, while the number 666 is being microchipped into every one ain Denver.
Remember Gustav is coming!

jagorev August 28, 2008 at 8:49 pm

“They have a 50-year lease on the Republican party, and they’re drilling it for all they’re worth.”

Ha ha, Republicans like gay sex, in the butt.

itgetter August 28, 2008 at 8:49 pm

[re=73746]onosideboard[/re]: Really? He finally made it off the island?!

smellyal8r August 28, 2008 at 8:49 pm

Why is Al turning side to side at the waist? His shoulders move from side to side like the animatronic robot the endeared itself to voters in ’00.

hatinTheMiddle August 28, 2008 at 8:50 pm

blue tie day was yesterday

loudmouthredhead August 28, 2008 at 8:50 pm

blah blah blah, end of civilization, no ice cap, destabilizing nations, zzzzz. Whatevs. Why aren’t you exciting me, Al? Where’s the dramatic language?

smellyal8r August 28, 2008 at 8:51 pm

Daniel Dae Kim is there? What about the other passengers of Oceanic 816?

bitchincamaro August 28, 2008 at 8:51 pm

Showusyertitz, Al!

AngryBlakGuy August 28, 2008 at 8:51 pm

…now FAUX News is showing WALNUTS! Fukking WALNUTS!? Why do I even torture myself by flipping back and forth?

Jukesgrrl August 28, 2008 at 8:52 pm

Are y’all having pizza delivered?

loudmouthredhead August 28, 2008 at 8:53 pm

[re=73730]itgetter[/re]: “Feel pretty stupid for voting for Nader, doncha?! Payback’s been a bitch, eh?”

El Bombastico August 28, 2008 at 8:53 pm

According to Al, Barack better not go to the theatre anytime soon.

AngryBlakGuy August 28, 2008 at 8:53 pm

…why did he loose again?!

smellyal8r August 28, 2008 at 8:53 pm

Perfessor Al tells us what we need to know. Does the Nobel committee give a wallet card in addition to that big decorated plaque? Will he show us?

CivicHoliday August 28, 2008 at 8:53 pm

[re=73758]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: Is he trying to preempt Obama’s speech by announcing his VP choice?

bitchincamaro August 28, 2008 at 8:54 pm

[re=73758]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: …and your fellow Wonketeers, in turn?

onosideboard August 28, 2008 at 8:54 pm

[re=73752]itgetter[/re]: Apparently all the Losties need to do is drink and drive and they’d be home free.

MSNBC showed him in the crowd… he’s the Asian dude in a white shirt.

Delicious August 28, 2008 at 8:54 pm

There is only One True God, and Barack Hussein bin Obama is his prophet.

Wake me up when Abu Malia descends from the mount to speak.

grendel August 28, 2008 at 8:54 pm

Wow… Gore isn’t that exciting, but his speech rocks

AngryBlakGuy August 28, 2008 at 8:54 pm

[re=73760]Jukesgrrl[/re]: …only if Absolut Vodka is a topping!

Rush August 28, 2008 at 8:54 pm

i’m giving myself a root canal at the moment – need to feel alive

Cookie Guggelman August 28, 2008 at 8:54 pm

[re=73758]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: Torture is wrong!

smellyal8r August 28, 2008 at 8:55 pm

I think Barry is going to have the same probs Al is having. I don’t think they can hear the crowd at the DNVR Parthenon. Plus, Al must have hit the Starbucks lounge backstage.

AngryBlakGuy August 28, 2008 at 8:56 pm

[re=73765]CivicHoliday[/re]: …nah, it looks like O’Rielly just being a turd as usual.

loudmouthredhead August 28, 2008 at 8:56 pm

[re=73760]Jukesgrrl[/re]: They’re picking off the weak and the sick amongst the delegates. How they cook, them I have no idea.

Ok, I’m getting really sick with all the prayer-speak. This is nuts. Are they REALLY worth pandering too? GAWD!

onosideboard August 28, 2008 at 8:56 pm

“He looks like he could gore.”

“Heh, he does look like Al Gore!”

CivicHoliday August 28, 2008 at 8:57 pm

new thread!

hatinTheMiddle August 28, 2008 at 8:57 pm

I wonder if the dinosaurs had an Al Gore – asaur and they all ignored him because he was so hard to pay attention to

bitchincamaro August 28, 2008 at 8:57 pm

Tweety’s getting it right on the supremes issue.

AngryBlakGuy August 28, 2008 at 8:57 pm

[re=73766]bitchincamaro[/re]: [re=73773]Cookie Guggelman[/re]: …it like popping a pimple. You know you shouldn’t but you just cant stop yourself!

bitchincamaro August 28, 2008 at 8:59 pm

Knock off the “greatest nation in the history of the world” bullshit, Tweety. Goddammm.

manbearpig August 28, 2008 at 9:00 pm

what about manbearpig?

Godzilla August 28, 2008 at 9:01 pm

“SI SE PUEDE!”

/Cesar Chavez’s ghost leading a chant at Barry’s Parthenon

AngryBlakGuy August 28, 2008 at 9:01 pm

…ok, now that is pretty damn serious! When you start doing the wave at a political rally its the final sign of the apocalypse!

bitchincamaro August 28, 2008 at 9:01 pm

[re=73794]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: You’re a fukkin poet, my man.

bitchincamaro August 28, 2008 at 9:04 pm

Wow, it’s Mark Twain singing and playing. Oh, fuck. It’s Michael McDonald. Erp.

itgetter August 28, 2008 at 9:04 pm

[re=73758]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: Save yourself the trouble of checking in to get their commentary after Obama’s speech. Here is exactly what Bill Kristol will say:

“You know, not to be a curmudgeon, but I just don’t get it. Was that supposed to be impressive? Where were the specifics? He should have laid out a complete point-by-point plan to solve all of our international conflicts, produce a billion dollar surplus, and create oil from puppy tears. Instead all I heard was HOPE this and CHANGE that. Although I barely heard a word since I was so distracted by those pretentious Greek pillars! Who does he think he is?”

bitchincamaro August 28, 2008 at 9:05 pm

OMG, Jesse’s is ready to cut Barry”s trucknutz off. and he said riot. he’s drunk. David Gregory sucks Jesse’s teeny weeny. JJ is one big ass motherfukkin hypocrite. WaddaCunt.

bitchincamaro August 28, 2008 at 9:10 pm

The milf in the red suit is lulling me to sleep. And it is good.

bitchincamaro August 28, 2008 at 9:14 pm

Holy shit! are we going to war with Denver cops??? Gawd bless our dissenting warriors!

KittyKatMan August 28, 2008 at 9:15 pm

CNN (Skeletor Carville) is going to jump on why those 10 seats up the nose bleed section aren’t taken.

bitchincamaro August 28, 2008 at 9:17 pm

I’m in love with the Sgt. Major behind the speaker. She’s the hot dominatrix in the pearl necklace.

loquaciousmusic August 28, 2008 at 9:19 pm

This thread is fun. God bless this thread.

Can we start a new pre-pre-Obama thread, please?

bitchincamaro August 28, 2008 at 9:20 pm

Biden needs to grab the mic stand and smash the hell out of it on the the deck. I needs me some crowd surfing.

bitchincamaro August 28, 2008 at 9:22 pm

[re=73875]loquaciousmusic[/re]: This thread needs a CHANGE!

bitchincamaro August 28, 2008 at 9:24 pm

biden’s wife is so hot.

KittyKatMan August 28, 2008 at 9:55 pm

Steady KO, This is exciting, but don’t pull your jimmy out, babypops.

KittyKatMan August 28, 2008 at 10:01 pm

barry was husky as a kid….like me. That connects.

Jukesgrrl August 29, 2008 at 12:51 am

[re=73817]itgetter[/re]: Good job. I’d try to write one for David Brooks but I want to stay awake for the speech.

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