• February 14, 2012

Hey wait, it isn't Sunday!We are commencing the long terrible journey to Barack Obama’s Athletics Parthenon and Live Pagan Sex Spectacle. It will take approximately one million hours, and we have to stop for lunch besides, so if we do not post for a few hours it is because we are drunk or incarcerated or maybe we have expired in the heat. Wish us luck.

{ 199 comments }

JadedDIssonance August 28, 2008 at 3:45 pm

Make sure you drink your Joint Juice!

grendel August 28, 2008 at 3:46 pm

You can’t fool us, it’s drunkenness or bust!

nyhfrog August 28, 2008 at 3:46 pm

Oooh! Get a picture in front of the raring Bronco. So symbolic.

AnnieGetYourFun August 28, 2008 at 3:46 pm

You know who won’t be there? Bill Clinton.

Wait, is that really true?

SayItWithWookies August 28, 2008 at 3:47 pm

Jesus is going to make it rain — so pack your sunscreen!

jagorev August 28, 2008 at 3:47 pm

McCain’s attempt to steal attention from this speech is pathetic… they’ve even “leaked” the fact that there will be a “leak” of the VP’s name at 6 PM and that they’ll confirm the leak at 8. Jeez, leaks are no fun when you know ahead of time that they are carefully orchestrated tactical maneuvers.

Gopherit v2.0 August 28, 2008 at 3:48 pm

Suckers.

If you see any assassins, stop them, k?

The Incomparable Tiny Valdez August 28, 2008 at 3:48 pm

I hope you have a three Wonkettini lunch, Sara.

Delicious August 28, 2008 at 3:49 pm

In the Obamaverse, everyday is Black Sunday.

JadedDIssonance August 28, 2008 at 3:49 pm

[re=73418]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: “Hillary Clinton is expected to be at Obama’s speech. As one of the most prominent senators in the US government, she would wield tremendous power under an Obama administration.”

“Tremendous Power” eh? More like [insert low-hanging-fruit here]!!

grendel August 28, 2008 at 3:51 pm

[re=73418]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: Well, he knows Hillz has to stay so he’s got a window to go get some tail before she gets home.

grendel August 28, 2008 at 3:52 pm

[re=73421]jagorev[/re]: If I were running McCain’s campaign, I wouldn’t mentioning “leaking” too much… Unless Walnuts! is just shooting for a Depends sponsorship.

Gopherit v2.0 August 28, 2008 at 3:52 pm

This is the kind of weather report we dream of in Tucson in the Summer. Suck on it Religious Right! Suck it hard, Suck it long!

DarkSynergy August 28, 2008 at 3:52 pm

God speed bitches!

AnnieGetYourFun August 28, 2008 at 3:53 pm

[re=73430]grendel[/re]: Now, why didn’t I think of that?

[re=73422]Gopherit v2.0[/re]: Also, people with WHEELS IN THEIR SHOES.

AnnieGetYourFun August 28, 2008 at 3:53 pm

[re=73426]JadedDIssonance[/re]: Tits?

WadISay August 28, 2008 at 3:56 pm

[re=73421]jagorev[/re]: I hope the Dems will disclose who shot JR or release the Brangelina sex tapes during Grumpy McDoofus’s acceptance speech, although America’s watching it would probably be the worst thing that could happen to him.

pdiddycornchips August 28, 2008 at 4:01 pm

The analogy sorta works.

Obama is Socrates. Smart, erudite and oh so superior. Socrates talked alot but didn’t do all that much and his followers were rabidly loyal to him.
The Repubs are the Spartans ’cause they’re angry war-like pedophiles. We’re the citizens of ancient Greece. Over-fed, over-sexed and in decline.

NoWireHangers August 28, 2008 at 4:01 pm

[re=73432]grendel[/re]: Damn, you beat me to the Depends joke. How I love Depends jokes…

Rickish August 28, 2008 at 4:02 pm

Anyone else watching MSNBC right now? Ted Koppel and Tom Brokaw are just sitting around, bullshitting, telling it LIKE IT IS! (Spoiler: They both think the DNC is a HUGE waste of time and money.) Kinda rad.

choinski August 28, 2008 at 4:02 pm

I knew the Paultard Blimp would crash the party.

TGY August 28, 2008 at 4:03 pm

Go boldly or whatevs. Obtain a map of the portapotties along the route should beer be somehow involved.

Canmon (the Inadequate) August 28, 2008 at 4:05 pm

[re=73445]pdiddycornchips[/re]: Actually Socrates was a pedophile too and was executed for it. Maybe it’s best not to use the ancient Greeks in analogies.

SayItWithWookies August 28, 2008 at 4:05 pm

Now what are we going to do if something earth-shattering and important goes on? For instance, if a baby elephant were to be rescued from a well?!

freakishlystrong August 28, 2008 at 4:06 pm

[re=73421]jagorev[/re]: Because of his shrivelled prostrate, WALNUTS! can no longer “leak” per se, and good luck with stealing the rainbow from the Herc!

RuperttheBear August 28, 2008 at 4:06 pm

This is going to be GREAT! YES WE CAN!

I’m looking forward to Obama’s speech

mr.november August 28, 2008 at 4:06 pm

Make Haste! TTYL

NoWireHangers August 28, 2008 at 4:06 pm

That’s great that you and Jim and Ken are going on a death march, Sara. But what about us? What are we supposed to do without constant posts to read? And with no editors? It could turn into a dirty, scary, bloody Battle Royale around here. Or an orgy. What if we turn Republican?!

pdiddycornchips August 28, 2008 at 4:09 pm

[re=73454]Canmon (the Inadequate)[/re]:

Whateves. I’m sure the kid deserved it.

grendel August 28, 2008 at 4:10 pm

[re=73460]NoWireHangers[/re]: You had me at orgy… then you went Republican… I don’t have a wide stance like that (not that there’s anything wrong with wide stances)

grendel August 28, 2008 at 4:11 pm

[re=73454]Canmon (the Inadequate)[/re]: That was just a smear put out by Karl Rove’s ancient ancestor

AxmxZ August 28, 2008 at 4:12 pm

Party at EVERYONE’S house tonight.

TGY August 28, 2008 at 4:13 pm

[re=73445]pdiddycornchips[/re]:

Socrates wants Clytemnestra.
Agamemnon wants Clytemnestra.
Therefore, Socrates wants Agamemnon.

nyhfrog August 28, 2008 at 4:14 pm

[re=73460]NoWireHangers[/re]: Most of that’s scary. But I do like the orgy idea! What’s everybody wearing? Wait! WAIT! Sllllooooower. Gotta get me to the speech.

Doglessliberal August 28, 2008 at 4:16 pm

[re=73454]Canmon (the Inadequate)[/re]: yeah, vanquished and/or failed civilizations of yore don’t lead to good images.

Maus August 28, 2008 at 4:17 pm

[re=73450]choinski[/re]: We’d party down with the Paulistas until they start asking why “those people” are allowed to take the podium.

Then (and only then) we would blacken the sky with Liberty Dollars until their blimp crashes.

and by party down I mean listen to the aftermath of their excursions into Second Life to round up the furries and hentai tentacle monsters there for the cause of the ONLY person interested in the Constitution ever.

el_chupacabra August 28, 2008 at 4:17 pm

From the future:

“Thank you for nominating me for the presidency democrats. My speech is available in book form. Go read it. God bless this and that.”

the end.

JadedDIssonance August 28, 2008 at 4:20 pm

[re=73477]el_chupacabra[/re]: READ MY FIVE AND A HALF BOOK SPEECHES!

el_chupacabra August 28, 2008 at 4:21 pm

[re=73469]TGY[/re]: um.. who wants [a href="
http://www.metalmaidens.com/gwar8_gross.jpg"]Slymenstra? [/a]

el_chupacabra August 28, 2008 at 4:24 pm

dammit

Slymenstra!

NoWireHangers August 28, 2008 at 4:26 pm

I’m going to a Hope-in later tonight. We’re gonna watch the speech and eat O-shaped chocolate cake!

el_chupacabra August 28, 2008 at 4:27 pm

I’m going to be making an O face. i Hope(tm).

gurukalehuru August 28, 2008 at 4:29 pm

What do my High School and the U.S. Capitol have in common?
They both look like Greek temples.

Greek temples are as American as apple pie.

pdiddycornchips August 28, 2008 at 4:29 pm

[re=73469]TGY[/re]:

From Encyclopedia Mythica:

“Clytemnestra and Helen are half sisters because Zeus appeared to Leda in the form of a swan and raped her. On the same night, Tyndareus also had sex with Leda and Leda became pregnant. Leda gave birth to four children or in some versions, laid four eggs. Clytemnestra and Castor was Tyndareus’ children therefore they are mortal. Helen and Polydeuces was Zeus’ therefor they are immortal.”

Fear of a Black Reagan August 28, 2008 at 4:31 pm

[re=73489]el_chupacabra[/re]: Joe Biden’s granddaughter is gonna be making her O face. I mean the one who looks like Brooke Shields at 14.

ALIVE! August 28, 2008 at 4:35 pm

[re=73469]TGY[/re]: Pythagoras was into threesomes.

ALIVE! August 28, 2008 at 4:36 pm

[re=73450]choinski[/re]: Excellent. You are a credit to your avatar.

AngryBlakGuy August 28, 2008 at 4:39 pm

…drink plenty of Booty Juice!

WadISay August 28, 2008 at 4:41 pm

[re=73490]gurukalehuru[/re]: I suppose I will have to work myself into a state of outrage that anyone would give a speech in front of a green backdrop (it was pretty awful).

HIROHITO99 August 28, 2008 at 4:42 pm

Hurry back… you don’t want to make me read Kos man! It’s not pretty when I have to read Kos!

qwerty42 August 28, 2008 at 4:43 pm

[re=73460]NoWireHangers[/re]: argh, it’s happening …. John McCain had to walk too — FOR FIVE AND A HALF YEARS! We need health care LIKE JOHN MCCAIN HAD FOR FIVE AND A HALF YEARS ….
help us Wonkette, you’re our only hope ….
aw what the heck, I’m going to the muslim lesbian marxist sex compound.

grendel August 28, 2008 at 4:46 pm

Are you there yet?

Are you there yet?

Are you there yet?

Are you there yet?

Scott-san August 28, 2008 at 4:51 pm

So much exaggeration. It’s really only gonna take five and a half hours to get there.

S.Luggo August 28, 2008 at 4:53 pm

[re=73434]DarkSynergy[/re]: Is that a command?

whatever_dc August 28, 2008 at 4:57 pm

i said this yesterday or the day before (i forget) but jeebus is sending a huge thunderstorm that all the evangelists were praying for but he got confused cause he’s not very good at geography and it’s gonna hit norlins cept not in time to get all the homos who are there for southern deca-dance! cept bobby jindal the exorcist is threatening to start the evacuation order on saturday thus spoiling all the fun! grrr!

NewAlgier August 28, 2008 at 4:58 pm

The internets tell me that it’s 80 degrees with a 37 degree dew point in Denver. That is, like DC in February, assuming that you’ve had dry air in DC ever. Quicherwhinin and enjoy your vacation.

JadedDIssonance August 28, 2008 at 4:59 pm

[re=73505]grendel[/re]: if you say that FIVE AND A HALF MORE TIMES…I’m goin HinoiHilton on your @$$!

UnreliableNarrator August 28, 2008 at 5:16 pm

Hardball is CHAOS right now… this “9/11 was an inside job” bullhorn guy is apparently on loan from Fox.

AngryBlakGuy August 28, 2008 at 5:17 pm

…HardBall is fukkin HILARIOUS right now! The crowd is trying to shout down Kate Baily-Hutchinson! LoLz!

Cogito Ergo Bibo August 28, 2008 at 5:17 pm

Home page of USAToday just confirmed the orgy. Lead story: Obama, Dems Prep for Mile High Moment.
http://www.usatoday.com/

AngryBlakGuy August 28, 2008 at 5:19 pm

[re=73520]UnreliableNarrator[/re]: …its AWESOME!!!

tunamelt August 28, 2008 at 5:22 pm

[re=73460]NoWireHangers[/re]: Quick, everyone get naked and make sandwiches. That will entertain us.

SuperRounder August 28, 2008 at 5:27 pm

[re=73527]tunamelt[/re]: I’m about to go home and continue my ritual from previous nights. It will rule all.

Platypus August 28, 2008 at 5:30 pm

[re=73454]Canmon (the Inadequate)[/re]: Actually, Socrates was a pederast not a pedophile. Let’s keep our “deviant” sexual behaviors straight here people! No self-respecting Ancient Greek mob would execute Socrates for mere pederasty.

Rush August 28, 2008 at 5:34 pm

[re=73521]AngryBlakGuy[/re]:

Yeah but how awful does Chrissy’s hair look? That is the reporting we crave…

AngryBlakGuy August 28, 2008 at 5:42 pm

[re=73535]Rush[/re]: …you shouldve seen it on Monday! His comb over looked like it was about take off!

KevoTron August 28, 2008 at 5:42 pm

Be right back? That’s what Daddy said when he went out for a pack of cigarettes twenty years ago. And yes he was usually drunk or incarcerated as well.

Nice knowing you Wonkette.

*sniffle*

KevoTron August 28, 2008 at 5:45 pm

[re=73540]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: Huffingtonpost has a great series of posts about the MSNBC “implosion” what’s so exciting about Hardball right now? I’m at work.

mememaw August 28, 2008 at 5:46 pm

Is that a giant titty crashing into the top of the stadium? I must rush to Denver!

AngryBlakGuy August 28, 2008 at 5:54 pm

[re=73544]KevoTron[/re]: …well half the crowd is drunk and the other half is high off their asses! Chris Matthews just had a girl fukk up his hair, which was hilarious.

tunamelt August 28, 2008 at 5:57 pm

[re=73547]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: you hafta pay top dollar for that in some countries and he got it for freeeeeeee

RuperttheBear August 28, 2008 at 6:01 pm

[re=73547]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: It looks like that’s the real issue here: Chris Matthews’s hair.

So, hold him down and shave his head. Problem solved.

KevoTron August 28, 2008 at 6:07 pm

The new McCain ad set to run during the speech tonight is posted here.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A4KIvRTg6KQ

It’s especially douchetastic and fake. McCain looks like he’s about to explode. I wonder how many takes it took to get that right.

Oscar Folsom Cleveland August 28, 2008 at 6:10 pm

Follow the sound of Jennifer Hudson’s voice, Wonka Wonkas!
And don’t step on Pelosi when you arrive – she’s looking hung over and is being carried around by a covey of chariot boys….

http://www.zohardancing.com/images/palanquin.jpg

kellygrrrl August 28, 2008 at 6:13 pm

I lovez me some drunken posts!

btw, was Rachel drunk last night?

Gopherit v2.0 August 28, 2008 at 6:14 pm

[re=73551]KevoTron[/re]: I love how they have him half in shoadow. He’s like a hideously disfigured character in cheesy sci-fi flick. No like must touch the disfigured right jowl, for our protection.

NSRose August 28, 2008 at 6:19 pm

I love how the MSNBC anchors are trying to keep from laughing/killing themselves/killing each other as people are screaming into bullhorns behind them. Someone at MSNBC fucked up bad this time.

S.Luggo August 28, 2008 at 6:19 pm

[re=73551]KevoTron[/re]: Why do they have McAged sitting in a closet? Did he soil himself again?

KevoTron August 28, 2008 at 6:21 pm

[re=73556]Gopherit v2.0[/re]: For realz.

I found the script for the outtakes on snopes.

“Too often we don’t take the time to congratulate or oppo- FUCKING ELITIST UPPITY N…

Okay, okay, OKAY! I’m FINE. let’s try it again…

Too often we don’t take the time to congratulate.. errr.. GODDAMNIT FIVEANDAHALFYEARS!! POW!!

alright… once again…

Too often we don’t take the time to WHERE IS THAT CUNTING TROLLOP WITH MY FUCKING SANDWICH?”

and that’s a wrap folks.

KevoTron August 28, 2008 at 6:21 pm

[re=73559]S.Luggo[/re]: Duh. Republicans = in the closet.

wokka wokka wokka!

NSRose August 28, 2008 at 6:24 pm

lol… Is Bullhorn Guy screaming “9/11 was and inside job!” over and over.

LOOSE CHANGE DID 9/11

tunamelt August 28, 2008 at 6:29 pm

so is everyone drunk already?

HIROHITO99 August 28, 2008 at 6:30 pm

[re=73547]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: It’s moment’s like this, when the system really breaks down and stuff starts going batshit insane, that I wish I still had a TV.

UnreliableNarrator August 28, 2008 at 6:37 pm

[re=73557]NSRose[/re]: I think Gregory’s head is going to explode. Notice how he pauses every couple of minutes, probably to keep from jumping down there and kicking some ass, Stretch-style? PS he should seriously kick some ass stretch-style, now.

Anonymous Office Zombie August 28, 2008 at 6:43 pm

[re=73534]Platypus[/re]: Yeah. Socrates was executed for “subverting traditional Athenian values” (by teaching the youth to reason for themselves) and for not believing in the traditional gods.

Which only goes to show how Conservatives never, ever, ever, ever, e-e-ever change.

NSRose August 28, 2008 at 6:45 pm

[re=73566]UnreliableNarrator[/re]: Ugh… this is almost unwatchable. If Russert were alive he would go down and kick some trufer ass.

bitchincamaro August 28, 2008 at 6:46 pm

Wonkeditors, please keep your heads tonight. Drunkeness and random nudity are acceptable, nay, obligatory, but your readers demand the usual Technicolor reporting we’ve come to expect from you perverts. Party on, Garth.

The Incomparable Tiny Valdez August 28, 2008 at 6:46 pm

Just enjoyed that gratifying crack sound of opening a fresh bottle of Svedka. Let the hope commence! Guess the Wonketeers are in jail, (although I heard the bloggers were having to take turns at the stadium). FYI: PBS is far less yakky in its coverage.

thatonegirlsays August 28, 2008 at 6:50 pm

[re=73445]pdiddycornchips[/re]: Where do I sign up for the over-sexed part?

Wagamuffin August 28, 2008 at 6:50 pm

[re=73491]pdiddycornchips[/re]: Dammit, has NOONE read my Promethius opus posted a few days ago?? It was on the Barry is Building a Greek Amphitheatre thread. A cast of characters that fits every one of the presenters at the DNC. Ok, it was a bit obtuse, but still…*whinge* must everything be just filth and sex here?? (All in favour: say “aye!” All those opposed? None. The AYES carry it!! Filth and degradation and Sodoming and Gomorhhahhing for all!)

As usual, the chick’s voice leads where others follow. But props for classing up the joint. We are not just barbarians at the gate. Except for shortsshortsshorts.

Excedrin Headache #856 Advisory: Please, anyone, within the sound of the turd screaming “9-11 was an inside job!!!” behind the MSNBC set-up n Denver, PLEASE jam that megaphone up his conspiratorial ass. Thank You.

Wagamuffin August 28, 2008 at 6:51 pm

[re=73572]The Incomparable Tiny Valdez[/re]: Yummy. Share, Tiny?

Oscar Folsom Cleveland August 28, 2008 at 6:54 pm

yawn. while we’re dancing to the hits of Motown, let me share that walking talking cadaver “James” Carville, “American U.S. Marine, political consultant, commentator, actor, media personality and pundit”, is sporting PUMAs on his big goofy hillbilly feet:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/08/27/carville-wears-pumas-off_n_121782.html

meh

regisgoat August 28, 2008 at 6:57 pm

I like threesomes, therefore I am Pythagoras.
Anyway. I’m glad someone else is out there roasting in the Colorado sun, surrounded by Hopeoids ripped to the nipples on pure hope-hormone. While you’re out there risking your life, I’ll be here downing IPAs and thanking God it’s not me in that jumbo moshpit.

jagorev August 28, 2008 at 6:57 pm

Apparently all the cool kids are twittering, not blogging, from Invesco because the internet situation is very dicey. Do our brave Wonketteers have the ability to do that?

Senator Boomdog August 28, 2008 at 6:58 pm

God, I fucking love John Lewis.

tunamelt August 28, 2008 at 7:00 pm

[re=73581]jagorev[/re]: There is a Wonkette twitter but it’s very haphazard.

http://twitter.com/wonkette

edgydrifter August 28, 2008 at 7:07 pm

[re=73574]Wagamuffin[/re]: Filthy sex? Shit yeah! Why didn’t you say so? I’m going to do some serious gameralizing tonight.

PS: I think we must all begin to consider that J, K and S are in DHS custody. No way does it take this long to enter Hopey’s Rainbow Temple.

Canmon (the Inadequate) August 28, 2008 at 7:07 pm

Martin Luther King III’s voice sounds like Roseanne Barr’s.

bitchincamaro August 28, 2008 at 7:08 pm

Will Tweety and KO actually strangle each other tonight, or share buttsecks, instead? Or both?

White Nick August 28, 2008 at 7:09 pm

They are so absolutely dead.

smellyal8r August 28, 2008 at 7:10 pm

It is not just “tonight” it is “this night”. Olberman is having a hard time not turning into Dan Rather. He wants to be so melodramatic. And I see the drunken mayor of London is sitting next to him…oh, no, it’s that yellow haired Matthews…”This night” can’t end soon enough.

ForTheTurnstiles August 28, 2008 at 7:12 pm

Both teams played hard.

God bless and good night.

–Pericles’s funeral oration, as recorded by Rasheed “Thucydides” Wallace

smellyal8r August 28, 2008 at 7:15 pm

[re=73585]edgydrifter[/re]: Our Wonkette triumvirate is fine. They are currently in a BHO “re-education” seminar, simply helping them understand that HOPE is a promise, not simply a word, that Barry will heal all that ails and that Michelle is the smartest dresser since Jackie Kennedy. Fear not.

smellyal8r August 28, 2008 at 7:19 pm

Andrea Mitchell is now reporting that Pawlenty has “gone underground” and cancelled his sked. He is the likely VP nominee for WALNUTS. I’m sure Joey B is rubbing his hands in Burns-like glee…excellent.

bitchincamaro August 28, 2008 at 7:22 pm

MSNBC cameramen must have sports coverage experience: focussing on hotties whenever possible; somewhat difficult last night with all the delegates and such. The real people are much less inbred than the Dem insiders. Keep up the peeping, camera-pervs.

Wagamuffin August 28, 2008 at 7:25 pm

I can only surmise the following re: our brave MIA:

1) Ken has found his dream gal “Ms. Right Now” via his lonely hearts ad on CraigsList
2) Sara has discovered the joy of a good spanking from the working end of the truncheon welded by one of Denver’s Finest
3) Jim and the “Plushie Known as Tucker” are hopping a plane for LA right now. They are planning a small tasteful wedding ceremony and ask all to check the registry at Pottery Barn.

I’m tying a yellow ribbon round the old oak tree till they all show up, rumpled, but ready for Investco Action.

iwillsavethispatient August 28, 2008 at 7:26 pm

[re=73599]bitchincamaro[/re]: Haha.. yeah, I spotted in the middle of the Bill Clinton speech, a fairly pretty girl cheering was zoomed in on. Then the middle-aged overweight woman in front of her stood up, blocking the view. Queue immediate switch back to Bill’s face. Comedy gold, I tells ya.

AngryBlakGuy August 28, 2008 at 7:28 pm

…does anyone know how many tickets are left for WALNUTS! FAIL of VP announcement? I know they started out with a “door busting” 10,000 tickets I just wanna know how many homeless hobos they paid to fill the gaps!

SayItWithWookies August 28, 2008 at 7:29 pm

Here comes the video…

iwillsavethispatient August 28, 2008 at 7:30 pm

I see John Legend, but no cactus. Shame.

SayItWithWookies August 28, 2008 at 7:30 pm

Nice — and even though they don’t have to do it with one speaking voice and one singing, they’re doing it anyway, so we can savor the annoyingness of this vocal overlapping. Joy.

tunamelt August 28, 2008 at 7:32 pm

[re=73602]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: How much would you have to be paid to go to that?

SayItWithWookies August 28, 2008 at 7:33 pm

If they’re gonna do two competing voices, I’d really like to hear the Velvet Underground’s “Murder Mystery” next. Just give me a few minutes to make the proper chemical preparations….

tunamelt August 28, 2008 at 7:33 pm

[re=73603]SayItWithWookies[/re]: ?? what am i missing?

SayItWithWookies August 28, 2008 at 7:35 pm

Holy crap — it’s the general secretary of Sigma Pi.

SayItWithWookies August 28, 2008 at 7:37 pm

[re=73608]tunamelt[/re]: It was a live rendering (and I do mean in the butchery sense) of the Yes We Can video.
Now Jimmy Smits is telling everyone to text “DNC” to 62262 (or whatever spells Obama).

SayItWithWookies August 28, 2008 at 7:38 pm

[re=73608]tunamelt[/re]: Go to CNN.com and click on their live feed. It’s refreshingly bitchy-commentator-free. We can handle that part.

tunamelt August 28, 2008 at 7:42 pm

[re=73612]SayItWithWookies[/re]: the hell? I’m leaving the office/and my ability to access internet in fifteen minutes. I will have to watch the speech and pretend I’m making bitchy drunk comments. sadly I shall have to miss out on that surely riveting live feed of live renderings of youtube videos.

SayItWithWookies August 28, 2008 at 7:43 pm

The Ziggy Stardust rendition of Across the Universe — could they pleease hold off until the shrooms kick in? Is that too much to ask?

gradgrind August 28, 2008 at 7:44 pm

teeheehee . . . Joe “got anything for my raging hormones?” Scarborough just almost called Timmy Pawlenty the “Minister of Governota.” He cut himself off halfway through the last syllable and got it right on the second try.

Timmy Boy, there’s yer campaign porn name.

Jobbotch August 28, 2008 at 7:48 pm

[re=73611]SayItWithWookies[/re]: OMG I just realized that 62262 spells
“Obama.” Fuck. I’m stupid.

Canmon (the Inadequate) August 28, 2008 at 7:48 pm

This is slowly turning into Woodstock.

Jingo August 28, 2008 at 7:48 pm

Wow. Will I Am must kick ass at karaoke night. Of course he sucks in the live arena venue, but I’m sure that a bar full of drunk patrons singing along would drown out most of the pauses and missed cues in his singalongs.

tunamelt August 28, 2008 at 7:50 pm

okay i put it on, the sound is off. i am glad of that.

Jonny Lieberman August 28, 2008 at 7:51 pm

What the fuck. Blog something

rocktonsammy August 28, 2008 at 7:51 pm

JUST WATCH C-SPAN, NO BLAGH, BLAGH BLAGH.

THEIR LEAVING FOR THE WEED AND MAYBE SOME SEX. IS WEED BETTER A MILE HIGHER?

tunamelt August 28, 2008 at 7:51 pm

shut up hippies! you’re on mute, but still, shut up!

SayItWithWookies August 28, 2008 at 7:52 pm

[re=73614]tunamelt[/re]: Aw that sucks. I skipped a Yes We Can party ’cause my friend feels sick. That tipped the balance towards staying home and getting tipsy and reading Wonkette.

bitchincamaro August 28, 2008 at 7:52 pm

[re=73619]Jingo[/re]: Agreed, but he beats the shit out of T. Bro. Kow.

El Bombastico August 28, 2008 at 7:52 pm

[re=73617]Jobbotch[/re]: Holy shit, THAT’S what that means?

Was it too much to ask will.I.am to show up not completely blunted?

tunamelt August 28, 2008 at 7:52 pm

[re=73622]rocktonsammy[/re]: if you drink alcohol at that altitude, you might become interesting

SayItWithWookies August 28, 2008 at 7:55 pm

[re=73621]Jonny Lieberman[/re]: I’m putting that on a t-shirt.

edgydrifter August 28, 2008 at 7:55 pm

[re=73593]ForTheTurnstiles[/re]:

CHOPPER!!!

–Pericles’ funeral oration, as recorded by Thundercleese

sweetits August 28, 2008 at 7:56 pm

Barack just texted me….he loves me.

rocktonsammy August 28, 2008 at 7:58 pm

[re=73627]tunamelt[/re]: don’t be hatin tuna

SayItWithWookies August 28, 2008 at 7:59 pm

Well Sheryl Crow, for all her formulaicness, can put a medley together a lot better than Melissa Etheridge could. “America the Beautiful” and “The Times They Are A-Changin’” do NOT segue into each other. I’ll bet Melissa Etheridge has jigsaw puzzles at her house with a whole bunch of mismatched pieces all jammed into each other to make them fit.

loganmo August 28, 2008 at 8:00 pm

hopey texted me tooo…from the skycam, to be honest, it kinda looks like Triumph of the Will (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Triumph_of_the_Will)

loquaciousmusic August 28, 2008 at 8:03 pm

Nice columns.

Guys, you know that I ain’t no student of ancient culture. Before I talk, I should read a book. But there’s one thing that I do know. There’s a lot of ruins…in Denver?!

Liquid August 28, 2008 at 8:03 pm

Oh no, Mark Udall is trying to ride the wave of four days of convention, and just doesn’t have the cajones.

Also, C-SPAN keeps bumping poor Bill Richardson for Al Gore and whatever schmuck happens to be talking in a minute or two.

Liquid August 28, 2008 at 8:04 pm

BTW, Tim Kaine is totally gay.

loquaciousmusic August 28, 2008 at 8:05 pm

I’m watching PBS. It’s nice to see all the speeches without douchebags talking over them.

Did he just say “save their grass on the American dream”? Hmmm.

Liquid August 28, 2008 at 8:06 pm

TOTALLY gay.

SayItWithWookies August 28, 2008 at 8:07 pm

Faith. Drink.

El Bombastico August 28, 2008 at 8:07 pm

Tim Kaine speaks Spanish like Bumblebee Man.

SayItWithWookies August 28, 2008 at 8:08 pm

Faith. Drink.
Faith. Drink.
Faith. Drink.
Oh, shit….

edgydrifter August 28, 2008 at 8:08 pm

[re=73633]loganmo[/re]: It’s still better than Triumph of the Shrill, which is what we’d be watching if the PUMAs had won. I’ll take horrifying and evil over simple-minded and annoying any day.

sweetits August 28, 2008 at 8:08 pm

David Duchovny entered rehab for sex addiction. I am speechless. I hope Barry speaks on this tonight.

Squiggyfm August 28, 2008 at 8:09 pm

Shouldn’t the Wonkette (blog) staff…be…I dunno…blogging?

El Bombastico August 28, 2008 at 8:10 pm

Jesus H. Christ in a bucket. One week ago, we were debating whether Kaine would be the VP pick. That seems laughable now. “Move mountain!” Move your boring ass off my TV, Tim Kaine.

jagorev August 28, 2008 at 8:10 pm

Has Tim Kaine been hitting the shrooms as well?

Walter Sobchak August 28, 2008 at 8:10 pm

What drinking game are we playing, I’m late…

SayItWithWookies August 28, 2008 at 8:10 pm

Jesus Faithing Fuck on a Biscuit, Governor faithing Kaine — Cut faith the fucking faith out of your faithing fuck speech. Holy faithing crap.

Delicious August 28, 2008 at 8:11 pm

I’m glad Hopey didn’t pick Kaine. Phew.

Kaine’s not a bad guy, but he doesn’t have that twinkle of insanity in his eye like Joe B.

SayItWithWookies August 28, 2008 at 8:11 pm

I’m druddenly sunk.

jagorev August 28, 2008 at 8:12 pm

I think I liked Bill Richardson when he was clean shaven better. Now he looks kind of evil

CivicHoliday August 28, 2008 at 8:12 pm

Move mountain! We have highways to build! Oh…wait…is that not what he’s referring to?

SayItWithWookies August 28, 2008 at 8:12 pm

[re=73647]jagorev[/re]: No, his face always looks like that. In fact, his eyebrow is remarkably well-behaved tonight.

Walter Sobchak August 28, 2008 at 8:13 pm

[re=73617]Jobbotch[/re]: I just had to have you explain to me what it spelled. So, you still win.
OH SNAP, shoes/flipflops line was harsh.

jagorev August 28, 2008 at 8:14 pm

Hey, I just realized this is a lot less dreary if you watch pr0n on your computer while they’re speaking.

SayItWithWookies August 28, 2008 at 8:15 pm

[re=73652]jagorev[/re]: Like a record producer who sidles up to 17-year-olds and says he’d like to put out their first CD.

“John McCain may pay hundreds of dollars for his shoes — but we’re the ones who are going to be paying for his flip-flops.” That was cute — and points for the Ferragamo reference.

El Bombastico August 28, 2008 at 8:15 pm

[re=73652]jagorev[/re]: Yes, but now he has a mullet, apparently.

RooseveltFranklin August 28, 2008 at 8:16 pm

[re=73650]Delicious[/re]: Phew is right. Dodged that bullet.

Delicious August 28, 2008 at 8:17 pm

Is this open thread night?

Lionel Hutz Esq. August 28, 2008 at 8:18 pm

Someone just wake me when Obama declares the New Caliphate. I don’t want to miss that historical moment.

SayItWithWookies August 28, 2008 at 8:18 pm

Get it on, Bill!

El Bombastico August 28, 2008 at 8:18 pm

Now THAT’S some good Spanish! Not Tim Kaine’s WASPY-white-guy bullshit.

jagorev August 28, 2008 at 8:18 pm

Okay, he’s a slow starter, but I have to say Richardson’s speech has probably come closest to addressing why this election matters to me. The Democrats really could have spent a little more time playing up civil liberties issues and less time talking about government cheese for the bitters.

loganmo August 28, 2008 at 8:20 pm

It sucks about that Wen Ho Lee think….richardson would have been a great vp. minus his mullet.

CivicHoliday August 28, 2008 at 8:21 pm

Mmm, I am warming to Richardson. He is firey, and obviously he knows what he’s talking about and is willing to hit below the belt.

smellyal8r August 28, 2008 at 8:21 pm

[re=73645]Squiggyfm[/re]: Wonkette editors have been MIA since they left the Great Hall of the Pepsi bound for the Great Field of the Broncos. Several are worried.

smellyal8r August 28, 2008 at 8:24 pm

Richardson’s OK. He’s a good Democrat and hey, he helped get that woman, Miss Lewinsky, a job when he was UN ambassador. But, as Gov of NM, he’s been kind of a disaster. He’s not really a leader. He’s more of a “pronouncer”. He makes pronouncements but doesn’t really follow through. Glad he’s not Veep.

SayItWithWookies August 28, 2008 at 8:24 pm

[re=73666]jagorev[/re]: Right on. What would really make me cream is if Barry talked about war crimes trials tonight — but that’s a pipe dream, I know. But oh, I’d so like to see a promise of putting Bush, Cheney, Wolfowitz, Rumsfeld, Feith, Rice, Yoo and a choice few others away for good.

CivicHoliday August 28, 2008 at 8:25 pm

[re=73669]smellyal8r[/re]: They probably are still in line somewhere a half mile back. If only they hadn’t stopped for a burrito…now we’ll have to entertain ourselves for the next hour…

SayItWithWookies August 28, 2008 at 8:27 pm

[re=73670]smellyal8r[/re]: That’s a shame — he was my fave for the nomination when he was running. He has the experience as an executive, foreign policy experience, seems like a tough negotiator, is multicultural — I really liked him, and thought it was a shame he never grabbed the mic as much as the others.

CivicHoliday August 28, 2008 at 8:28 pm

Oh Jeebus. Stevie W is doing some sort of a Lion King jazz number?? Bad.

Walter Sobchak August 28, 2008 at 8:28 pm

[re=73602]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: dude, mccain is gonna bus me up from florida to go, and give me a big mac. wanna go?

SayItWithWookies August 28, 2008 at 8:28 pm

It looks like Stevie’s backup singers are going to a wedding right after this.

Rush August 28, 2008 at 8:30 pm

[re=73669]smellyal8r[/re]:

Maybe Stevie Wonder has seem them.

El Bombastico August 28, 2008 at 8:31 pm

Is “Superstition” too much to ask for?

Lionel Hutz Esq. August 28, 2008 at 8:31 pm

Jim, Ken, Sarah, we all want the best for you. So, when the light starts coming out of the Ark, don’t look at it. It’s the only way to keep your face from melting!

badco/LoJ August 28, 2008 at 8:31 pm

Didn’t a guy named Stevie Wonder record Innervisions and Talking Book?

That guy was awesome.

jagorev August 28, 2008 at 8:33 pm

[re=73671]SayItWithWookies[/re]: This whole convention has been nothing but a paean to the working class and the veterans and the oldsters. What about us elite hipster intellectual yuppies who live in NYC? We have needs too! God, sometimes I feel like the Democrats just take our votes for granted…

OH HAI BARRY JUST TXTED ME. He wants me to reply with my name and location. I assume he’s going to hook me up with a local post-speech orgy party. He gets me after all!!!

El Bombastico August 28, 2008 at 8:33 pm

[re=73680]badco/LoJ[/re]: This fat guy on my TV must have eaten him.

RooseveltFranklin August 28, 2008 at 8:34 pm

The entire DNC needs a rhythm transplant.

ForTheTurnstiles August 28, 2008 at 8:34 pm

[re=73680]badco/LoJ[/re]: Fulfillingness Final Finale was pretty good too.

The car crash he had before Songs in the Key of Life kind of ruined things… making his voice really nasal and knocking the funky shit out of him. His last good song: “You Haven’t Done Nothing.” Ironic.

Rush August 28, 2008 at 8:34 pm

Stevie Wonder = Honor

SuperRounder August 28, 2008 at 8:35 pm

Rachel Maddow gettin’ her groove on. That was kinda funny.

itgetter August 28, 2008 at 8:35 pm

YES. Please show Rachel Maddow dancing again. Can she dance on her show like Ellen? Is that not PC to wish for?

onosideboard August 28, 2008 at 8:35 pm

No, seriously, what the fuck happened to Stevie?

jagorev August 28, 2008 at 8:36 pm

Stevie Wonder just said Barack Obama is going to set this country on fire. Do we need any more evidence of his terroristic intentions? WAKE UP AMERICA!!!

SayItWithWookies August 28, 2008 at 8:36 pm

New thread!!!!! Oh, and they’re alive!

shevralay August 28, 2008 at 8:36 pm

GPB is arguing over whether or not Stevie Wonder himself performed at the Obama wedding. God bless public broadcasting.

Gopherit v2.0 August 28, 2008 at 8:37 pm

[re=73684]ForTheTurnstiles[/re]: What the hell was Stevie doing driving??!!

(Yes, I know, cheap joke.)

CivicHoliday August 28, 2008 at 8:39 pm

Um. The juxtaposition of the poor daughter who just lost her mom with happy bouncy “movin’ on up” music is, how you say, kind of fucked up?

badco/LoJ August 28, 2008 at 8:41 pm

[re=73684]ForTheTurnstiles[/re]: Who the hell let Stevie Wonder drive?

badco/LoJ August 28, 2008 at 8:41 pm

[re=73697]Gopherit v2.0[/re]: Dammit.

professor.cj August 28, 2008 at 8:45 pm

Ken and Sara are totally gonna rush the stage in the middle of Barry’s Oration/Meditation/Obviation on the State of the Muslim Nation with their lighters lit screaming “Stairway to Heaven, Stairway to Heaven” or Wonkette has failed its (unstated, and obviously, purposefully mission-statement-less-state) state.

P.S. Hey Ken, Does Wonkette have an official purpose? If not, I suggest adopting a porpoise.

P.S.S. Rock On, Al Gore, Bringing on the Gays before the Greens! [The greens have just been getting a lot more face time recently, ya knows......]

DC Spring August 28, 2008 at 10:13 pm

Hey, it’s started, his Barry’s Thank Yous just made triple figures! Plus some Thank You So Muchs in the mere dozens.

OMG, he ACCEPTS! Wow. Couldn’t see that coming. A strange night in politics.

Wagamuffin August 29, 2008 at 12:34 am

Can you feel the love, people!?!?! Group hug!!!

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