Wonkette
One “Washington Insider” and member of a gym that Barack Obama attends in DC told us last night that the candidate is actually kind of a halfhearted “athlete,” and doesn’t even bother running on the treadmill. Instead he walks, like one of the Golden Girls. Anyhow, this morning Barack Obama had another one of his so-called workouts at the Denver Athletic Club, which of course culminated in his sinking multiple three-pointers from Eagleton. [Denver Post]
I think I need to give him some Pilates lessons.
Don’t look at the camera! Didn’t you learn anything from Apocalypse Now?
He so smooth… the only bombs my man Barry drops are rocks from outside the key.
John McCain was on a treadmill for FIVE AND A HALF YEARS. And he still has those jowls! More reality bias.
A basketball playing candidate in a football stadium. This means that MSNBC will not be able to use baseball cliches. This mean he will not be able to hit one out of the park tonight? Will he be:
1. Shooting the lights out
2. Jamming it home
3. Laying it in
I await Keith Olberman’s new sports mixed metaphor.
And WALNUTS! was up early too, hitting the shuffleboard court.
Cindy was up early pre-chewing MCorpse’s breakfast and filling his pill container.
What inattentive reporting — they didn’t even mention whether his perspiration smelled like roses or hyacinths. I think Thursday is hyacinths, but I can’t remember.
StripesAndPlaids: I would say that a good speech would illicit an “Obama takes it to the hole!” metaphore but that would be more appropriate for President Clinton wouldn’t it? Maybe he’ll go with “Slam Dunk” or, if he’s really feeling poetic he’ll say something like “Listening to Barrack Obama’s speech tonight in the face of John McCain’s presidential challenge was like watching the Harlem Globetrotter’s run circles around the tired old Washington Generals.”
That’ll be sure to make everyone in America vomit.
HIROHITO99: I liked your original dropping bombs from outside the key too, but knowing Olberman, I’m going with the Washington Generals gag.
I am also anxious to see if Chris Matthews has another attack of restless leg syndrome after watching Hopey drive the lane and dominate. Maybe back McCain down in the low post.
Barack Obama Plays Basketball, In Denver!
…and Nuggets fans say, “Well, at least somebody does.”
StripesAndPlaids: Perhaps Keith could revive “put the biscuit in the basket?” It would no doubt confuse Tweety to no end.
hopey played one on one and did an interview with Stuart Scott on EXPN the other morning (taped earlier, obvs).
pretty sure Barry’s got the “half-hearted athlete” vote locked up.
………..came through the d00r and said it before:
whitey mainstream press -KEEP OUT- beacuse on the hardwoods, shooting hoops and passing the mic- is no place for whitey to be asking questions.
also FS&Gs- Mitt cannot jump, Mcain needs to change is diaper and the Sen. from CT is all Yoda like in the face……………..
V2peaceAllOver: If Obama says this, at any time during the election, he’ll totally lock up the “He’s a guy I could have a beer with.” vote from at least 98% of fat assholes who do nothing but drink and watch sports. Instead, he always speaks so well. Why can’t homeboy just throw a little jive into his flow?
I’ve said it before but all Barry needs to secure a win is slow motion footage of him dunking a basketball. If he wants a landslide he’ll have to do it from the free throw line Jordan style.
Bah, John McCain gets motion sickness on treadmills.
My money is on “That speech was nothin’ but net” being uttered by someone on CNN tonight.
I believe the three-point cliche is “From way downtown!”
Dude shoots like a lady
Draining buckets from out of state?
The McCain campaign released his workout regimen in response to this story.
30 minutes for a rousing game of checkers.
15 minutes rocking on the front porch.
15 minutes yelling at kids to stay away from his yard.
20 minutes of ab crunches (aka constipation).
McCain then refuels with a mushy bowl of Quaker Oats, wondering if his routine will ever get him looking as good as the guy on the label.