These People Do Not Like War, In Denver

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On our 17-mile march from downtown Denver to “The Perimeter,” which is a police blockade at least another 17 miles from the actual Pepsi Center, we ran into these friends. Thousands of riot cops, thousands of hippies, thousands of blocked crossways and pedestrian routes to The Perimeter. They are protesting Barack Obama’s War in Iraq, as well as the fact that anyone is dying anywhere in the world. Let’s immanentize their eschaton, after the jump.

Riot cops guard Denver’s most valuable institution: a filthy, exhaust-reeking parking garage overridden by jungle hobos fighting over raw steaks.

They had billy clubs, but also guns. They gave guns to the lady cops in honor of Hillary Clinton, the first woman to ever hold a job.

PINKY GREENBUTTS AND GRANNY GUEE-TAR HAVE OLD PEOPLE SEX ON THE STREET.

Swear to god, it’s not a green screen! It’s just Howard Wolfson in police gear, on a bike, staring daggers at the pinks.

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Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

View all articles by Jim Newell

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35 comments

  1. SayItWithWookies

    “Oh you with the sniper rifle? You can go through. We’re just keeping an eye on these here dangerous hippies.”

  2. Keram2

    Every time I feel sympathy for the poor idealistic protesters getting sprayed with mace and tear gas, Code Pink comes along and makes me want to work out my clubbing arm.

  3. AnnieGetYourFun

    Ha. You said ‘pinks’. Doesn’t that mean something dirty?

    Wow, I wish the speeches could be as interesting as Bill’s. These other guys are so lame.

  4. Rickish

    An idea anyone can run with: “No Blood for Mohel”, a romantic comedy about a vampire rabbi.

  5. Delicious

    I was at one of the convention a few years back when these ‘tards arrived. I kind admired the spirit…till I got stuck in a room with about 100 of them. The BO made me hallucinate.

    Stoopid smelly hippies.

  6. Oscar Folsom Cleveland

    So many homeless, jobless, meth phreaks in Mile High City. Sad.
    When Juan is prez, we will have a final solution at last.

    Can somebody point out the 5’11″ dude who wants to come bunk with me in Englewood? I wanna find out if he’s cool with a group scene.

  7. Keram2

    [re=72629]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: Bill fucking killed. Kerry — despite PBS’ crazy claims — gave a sorta-kinda “meh” speech. Exactly the quality I want in a Secretary of State.

  8. tsunami

    [re=72629]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]:

    ah yes…the search for pinker pastures.

    yeah…bill’s still got it, doesn’t he? let’s hope the man from
    hope works hard for hopey.

  9. itgetter

    “You guys are so in the tank we should be in a submarine!” says some Republican strategist (Mike Whatshisname?) being interviewed on MSNBC as the crowd tries to kill him with the power of their disapproving screams. What did he expect to find at the DEMOCRATIC national convention if not people in the tank for Obama?

  10. Monsieur Grumpe

    Judging by the amount of padding on those pink bike seats I have a feeling that there has been a serious hemorrhoid outbreak among the Code Pink crowd.

  11. AnnieGetYourFun

    [re=72643]itgetter[/re]: Oooh! Maybe Griff can wade up to the stage and ask what people stand for.

  12. tsunami

    [re=72643]itgetter[/re]:

    Republican strategist?

    didn’t you mean republican asshole?…i think that’s the
    correct scientific term.

  13. SayItWithWookies

    [re=72656]Scooter[/re]: What are they all flying in from Baghdad? Hahahahaha, oh I amuse myself.

  14. SayItWithWookies

    What? Biden’s gotta give a speech? Why two minutes ago, he had no idea he’d be nominated as the vp candidate — give him a few minutes to prepare, at least!

  15. itgetter

    [re=72654]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: DON’T YOU BELIEVE IN FREE SPEECH?!!
    [re=72655]tsunami[/re]: Oh fiddlesticks. I am SO embarrassed. Thank you for your correction!

  16. Delicious

    My fave story about these ‘tards is when they got lucked up at the convention I was at, a lawyer told me they had to stay true to their collective beliefs. They would chant from their jail cells, but they had to agree on the chant, and at one point they had a 30-minute argument about what to chant next.

    Fucking Mumia anarchist WTO fucktards.

  17. gliberal

    Ahh, democracy in action! Or as Bush would tell you, liberdy. Freedumb. Our citizens choosing their elected representatives, never more than 5 feet away from jack-booted heavily armed mercenaries ready to crush their skulls just for fun. This makes Tiennamen Square look like Disney World. Lets export this kind of liberdy to the mid east where they don’t have personal freedumbz. Like us do.

  18. Jingo

    What’s with the guy in the neon green biker shorts. I guess with the pink shirt, pink hat and pink ladies bike with the pink fuzzy seat, he felt compelled to wear something that expressed his sexuality. I bet granny guitar can’t wait to get home to tell her canasta club how she touched a real live gay person.

  19. Borat

    Those cops really look like they want to use those clubs, I mean batons. I mean batons to club people with

  20. Botswana Meat Commission FC

    I’m seriously rooting for the cops to just mow these people down and ship them to a gulag outside Durango. Do they have any idea who started this war or who’s to blame for it?

  21. Lazy Media

    [re=72920]gliberal[/re]: Really? So, they’re actually running over people with tanks and hauling them out and shooting them out of hand by the dozens in Denver? ‘Cause that’s what happened in Tiananmen Square.

  22. Botswana Meat Commission FC

    [re=72920]gliberal[/re]:
    This has to be the stupidest thing I’ve ever read on Wonkette. And I was here for the great Paultard Invasion of 2007, so I’ve seen some really stupid shit.

  23. Poindextrous

    I was in New York four years ago at the Rep. convention, and I must say the police sticks were nowhere near this large or prominently displayed…hott.

  24. Miller

    I was for peace, but only in some nebulous, far off, future. After seeing that sign, I want peace….NOW! Also I’m preferring bikes to bombs, but I could be swayed back if the CEO of Lockheed were to don sassy neon bicycle shorts.

    http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/

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