Wonkette
It’s the night we’ve all been waiting for: The night Bill Clinton will finally get out of the way and let the nominee go ahead and run for president. Bill has his legacy to worry about, because, you know, he squandered it with some of the most boorish, cheap behavior in political history — and we are not even talking about Monica Lewinsky. Let’s let Bill let us remember how wonderful he is and how awesome he will always be, as the DNC Wednesday night showdown begins.
6:12 PM — Denver time, in the Mountains of Humidity and Oppressive Heat. Nobody has “vetted or edited” Bill Clinton’s speech. Obama’s staff finally got a look at it, a few minutes ago. It will “likely run much longer” than it’s supposed to, which is about normal for Ol’ Windbag From Hope.
6:13 PM — Bill will mention Obama about 10 words in, according to CNN.
6:16 PM — Sorry we missed that “nomination by altitude acclimation” or whatever; massive traffic jams around the Pepsi Center this evening, with (again) a completely random set of different streets closed off. Here is maybe the explanation for Hillary doing whatever?
6:17 PM — In other words, it was a very historic and brave perfect thing that Hillary did, letting Barack go ahead and have his nomination without more embarrassing wrestling on the teevee.
6:28 PM — What is this shit noise? Did John Cougar show up? Somebody kill it.
6:29 PM — Oh, it was Melissa Ethridge.
6:44 PM — A motorcade pulled up to the Pepsi Center, and Bill Clinton is maybe inside one of those cars!
6:45 PM — Several other people will bore us first: Bayh, some Nevada delegate, Jack Reed, Tom Daschle, THEN Clinton. This will never be over. Wait, but that’s Jack Reed speaking now, isn’t it?
6:59 PM — “Chain of Fools.”
7:00 PM — It’s happening! Sara is about to take over with the new liveblog.
7:01 PM — Here is your new link, go on over, and drink whenever Clinton talks about himself.
Here’s to hoping the Pantsuit Posse don’t revolt.
Are they gonna play “Gasolina” when Bill walks out?
I’m actually a tad puzzled about the “cheated” feeling that so many Hillz supporters have. Is it jus the two primaries? I mean, not that those weren’t a big deal, but just wondering if there was anything else?
17:26 PST (California) Ooooooo…..such a fine line-up of Congressional beefcake. Let’s play “The Bachelorette”. 130 degrees in Baghdad, you say? Well then, boys, let’s strip down and do some posing!
Whew
Get out of the way, Patrick Murphy, let’s hear from some a’ these hunks.
Is it time for a change?
Is Secretary Albright wearing an Eagle Flag Hat pin? No questioning her patriotism.*
*her taste in accessories is pretty sketchy, though.
Bill needs to just part those hands, open the mouth and take it muthufucka. It ain’t that hard to be a bitch once you had one. Wider mofo.
Spike Lee.
There, I said it.
But the new glasses have got to go.
17:36 PST (California) Hey Madame Secretary Albright!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3w4EnuPMK9Q&feature=related
My tv’s charisma filter must have clicked on while Madeline was speaking.
Nothing will make me happier than seeing PUMAs crying from Hillary crushing their dreams AND copious amounts of pepper spray.
Can PUMAs haz poop ray?
Anyone have chamge for a ten?
Is that the change we need?
Eagle pin says “Don’t I look cute in this hat?”
Can I say again how much better a choice Biden was than Bayh? This guy is almost as boring as Treebeard.
OMG…Michelle and Terezzza Kerry are chatting it up. Mrs. Heinz Kerry looks even more frightening than four years ago when she was just an Exotic Catholic.
Hey, I’ve got two quarters, three nickels, a dime, and something called a ha’penny.
Is that the change we need?
CNN is so bored it cuts away to Michelle in a terrorist cocktail dress.
once again, the wisdom of Biden’s picking explicatd
Nice mouse-over, as always.
You know, I don’t think I’ve ever gone from feeling entirely ambivalent about a public figure to hating with a seething white rage before Bill Clinton.
It’s the parade of failed potential Veep candidates!
Boy those are some fancy pants “reserved” signs on Hillary’s seats. Looks like they were hand lettered by a ninth grader on a sheet of copying paper.
Gopherit v2.0: Agree on that…but if it had been Kucinich, it would be like the VP was Tom Bombadil–that would be cool.
The next time I was kidnapped by terrorists, I could just sing a little Kucinich rhyme & he’d come and rescue me…
It’s Count Chocula !!
Dear God, do all of these Democrats have janitors and turd-miners as their father?
It would have been sweet if Senator Reed was the VP, if only to hear the crazy Rhode Island accent on the news for 4 years. I will now drink some Autocrat to honor Little Rhody, the Ocean State.
Oh, hell. Why are they letting Kerry talk tonight? Might I suggest a 5 min public jeering instead.
Thanks for the last 4 years, you boring asshole.
Is this the parade of not-vice-presidents? That’s tough. Not only do they lose, they have to stand up and praise the winner.
17:44 PST (California) I did not know that butch Jack Reid from Rhodes had thuch a thilly lithp!
So glad he didn’t get picked for Barry’s Veep - teh Republican gayz woulda been climbing over each other to get at ‘im.
Do we have pr0n on Reid? Video?
Sailors, airmen and Marines?! oh nooooooooo
Hey Layne. Fuck you. And shut up.
Reed has a permanent ”Spitzer”
aaaaaaaand the thank-God-for-Biden sentiments roll on, like a shiny democratic tank pressing onward through the flaming ruins of some third-world village or other.
btw, for anyone who is sick of cliche and pablum, here is a very in depth interview with Biden in 2004:
http://tpmelectioncentral.talkingpointsmemo.com/2008/08/biden_interview_2004.php
It’s good to know that the veep will be a man of substance, and not just a political animal.
chaseychasem: yesh, and Kucinich smells even better, too.
Senator Reed, there’s a microphone right in front of you. That means you don’t have to yell. Hillary finally figured that out last night.
“… OUR COUNTRY WILL WIN. TOO.”
I was listening to this amazing Al Jarreau song so I can try to feel more of a connection with my brother Barry. But now I’m liveblogging with all of you so I can try to feel a connection with AngryBlakGuy and jagorev.
Dashle’s glasses are the preferred eyewear of all wise cartoon owls.
Can someone give the cliff’s notes version on why we hate Bubba again? I just want to get caught up.
Wow — David Letterman’s really cutting into Dubya. Oh, wait –
I love that Michelle is wearing a blue dress for Bill’s speech.
OzoneDude: Excuse me?
17:52 PST (California) I did not realize Daschle was still alive. I thought he had been advising Hopey from The Great Beyond, following his voluntary ingestion of anthrax in order to save the lives of three hundred million babies with AIDS.
I am praying that Biden gets up there and nearly pops a vessel in his forehead while he’s pounding the podium to smithereens ripping McCain a new asshole.
Oh wait. This is a carefully choreographed media event. Never mind.
RuperttheBear: Yeah. Biden probably smells like old spice. I imagine Kucinich smells a lot like his wife.
A doggie has a rash after eating some marijuana.
Is this the mangy weed?
[ba-dum-tsssh]
Clinton will probably be 15 minutes late.
Watching PBS… interviewing Walter Mondale. Mondale was the VP over 20 years ago… and he’s looking younger and 10x more with it than Walnuts… pathetic.
obfuscator: I wonder if he’ll tell us how many licks it takes?
I love his outfit and spectacles. also, DNCC 2008 Award for Best Jawline.
“Chain of Fools” as the lead-in for Bubba? Heh.
Did anyone else just see Patrick Dempsey checking out either Chelsea’s or Hillary’s caboose?
BitterDuff: I think that’s literally the whole point of Biden being on the ticket.
Chain of Fools? Really?
does the great muhammed ali even know he’s at the convention?
Gopherit v2.0: I’m surprised they didn’t pull out the Morrissey song for Bill’s entrance, actually.
Gopherit v2.0: you beat me!! Priceless Poetry !!
Hey, everybody, it’s American flag nite! Tomorrow is Islamic flag nite! Hooray!!!
CNN just cut away to Hills talking to JJJ (I think). She leans over and says “Tell your dad I want to cut Barry’s balls off too.”
Oooh, it’s a handsome man in a zoot suit introducing the real first black President!
Bill has to come in wearing an orange pants suit.
loquaciousmusic: Aww, thanks! But be aware that I will mace you if you touch me there again.
The “highest home ownership in U.S. history”?
Yeah, those fuckers must’ve been high if they thought they could buy a home with 0% financing and no money down.
Bill Clinton is the President of Democratic Conventions… and chubby blowjobs.
Take a breath, Rep. Beek. Maybe even one between every sentence. It’s Bill!
Yes. YESTERDAY’S GONE, bitters.
YESTERDAY’S GONE… YESTERDAY’S GONE…
Ya heard, Billiam?
“I want to burn that bridge to the 21st Century. I hate all of you…g’night”
jagorev: Mace me with hope.
…I wonder if Ronald Reagan is going to get this kind of reception at the Republican convention?
why did bill have every part of his face tightened but his eyes? he’s had work but still baggy eyes…i don’t get it.
50 bucks says that the thunderous applause has gotten Bill Fully Erect.
Funny…this is how the Obamas will stop his speech…keep everyone cheering for 20 minutes….
Bill says what I wish every speaker so far this convention would say: “SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP”
OH NO YOU DIDN’T JUST TELL ME TO SIT DOWN, BITCH!
“Oh, stop… really, y’all… all this for li’l ol’ me? Ah’m so touched… shucks… “
How appropriate was the music as WJC came on stage? “Don’t stop thinking about tomorrow”. I wonder if he realised it was aimed at him.
He IS a terrific speaker, that’s for sure. And that global warming crack was cute. But why is he talking about pantsuits?
micapam: “Don’t Stop” was Bill’s campaign song in ‘92. Didn’t Fleetwood Mac reform for the convention, or am I remembering that incorrectly?
look at the lines by his ears. no lines around his mouth at all. face lift sans eyes. that takes a lot of work, to stay that far away from those bags. like if he had an eye job we’d know it, but if he has the rest of face tighter than nancy p. no one will notice. i notice these things. i live in the face lift capital of the universe. all men over 60 here have to shave behind there ears. not a line on there face.
loquaciousmusic: The Mac’s legendary infighting and infucking is so emblematic of the Dems in Disarray story that we’re all tired of.
my spelling/grammer sucks when excited. please forgive me. maybe if i joined scientology i’d be clearer, but for some reason i scare them. maybe it’s my cocktail dress. the black norrell with the spaghetti straps and the rhinestones sort of cascading down the back. i think tommy girl wants it but it’s MINE.
I LOVE seeing the cause of Bill’s cardio problems. Anger baby!
Oh God, I forgot how John Kerry has no sense of timing when speaking. Slow down there, buddy.
Love the picture of Bill in utter despair that he won’t be getting another BJ in the White House for another 4-8 years. Even then, will the interns go back after they’ve gone black?