Wonkette
This is really shaping up as the (only) musical stadium show of the week! Unofficial sources say Stevie “Used To Be So Awesome” Wonder, that annoying Wilheim-Am! and Sheryl Crow will play music at the Invesco High-Times Field at Mile High Stadium tomorrow evening. What a lineup! Also: The previously mentioned Bruce Springsteen and John Francis Bongiovi, Jr., may or may not perform their “New Jersey Trilogy” ballet for the middle aged. There is someone else we’ve literally never heard of, called “John Legend,” who will masturbate with a cactus. [Denver Post/Politico]
That last line made me laugh out loud, as the kids say.
Never heard of John Legend? And I thought you were hip Ken. Legend’s an interesting choice as lots of his songs are about cheating on your partner or getting naked and fucking in public places. Well, I guess those are pretty Democratic beliefs after all.
Legend is pretty famous.
Ha! Guam is too small to be heard at the convention. And the liveblog done been broke.
i just pray to sweet potato pie jesus he’s not still not featuring bo derecks hair.
RuperttheBear: Wow. My thighs just permanently snapped shut.
Livebloggin the bitter floor fight? This thing is fascinatin! Guam is Voting now!!
John Legend was the only reason I actually caved in and watched that “Yes We Can” crap.
Go download his album off Waffles! It should be required listening.
KevoTron: Totes. Even my friends who shop at JC Penney know who John Legend is. I don’t recall most of the songs being about cheating, though - sure you’re not thinking of Shaggy?
I haven’t even read what the hell this is about but I just have to say THANK YOU WONKETTE!!!
You are the best web site homepage EV’A! you get the real important news I need (ie keeps me alive) down to like 1-2 paragraphs and no hassle!
Maybe its the 2 bottles of Chateau Musar 2000 (Lebanese, ya know, muzzie wines really get my lips loose and as McJerk says from his kombat dayz “loose lips sink ships” WTF)
GO WONKETTE!!! Have a blast in Denver and don’t let those Hilltards assimilate or pepped up hillzbilliz assassinate you. All of you look great in the photoz!
as per usual, in the iron rich mountains of denver, there is a huge lack of irony among it’s inhabitants. go figure. is there a hilltard=legend connection in the works?
Sweet Jeebus on a crossbow, didn’t y’all catch J. Legend the other night kicking off proceedings with his rousingly anthemic “If You’re Out There?”
It was so chock full of Dem talking points/sloganeering/Hopeyisms that I will insist that my band covers it.
Then again, we’re called Jesus Hitler & The Third Nipple Band, so that might undercut the point somewhat….
Well if you can’t book Daddy Yankee, you might as well call it a day.
Why do they want to suck it all out of Barry O with all these real celebrities?
PS. If Barry borrowed that outfit from Stevie for the speech I would cream in my pants.
The Incomparable Tiny Valdez: If Barry won’t do that for ya, I will.
AND I’ll sing Fingertips, then use ‘em. To unbunch your inevitable lady-wedgie.
Teh end.
AnnieGetYourFun:
The first time we ever got a chance to be alone we knew,
That it was wrong to do,
I guess that’s why I was drawn to you,
The 2nd time leads to the 3rd, the 4th, the 7th time,
I feel so alive, it won’t last but it’s alright,
Pleading joy and fading ecstasy, here it goes again oh,
Sneaking fruit from the forbidden tree, Sweet taste of sin,
For my money, you can’t beat John Legend on the Colbert Report fight-signing “The Girl is Mine” with Stephen about the Statue of Liberty.
Canuckledragger: Just watched it on YouTube. Good stuff. If you’re not real familiar with his work I’d suggest buying “Once Again.” The song Slow Dance is on my top ten list of all-time favorites.
AnnieGetYourFun: What do you have against people who shop at JC Penney hmmm? Next you’re gonna tell me that I’m ghetto for shopping at the Ross on Third Ave. It’s right down the street from my crack den and that’s super convenient. We’re not all Capitol Hill chic with our boutique clothing and heroin you know.
I shop at JC Penney. I do. They sell decent Levis at a pretty respectable price. But I’ve never heard of John Legend. Or understand how a cactus might be involved in masturbation.
KevoTron: Holy crap, were you that guy smoking weed at the bus stop at 4th and Pine yesterday morning?
iwillsavethispatient: No, but I will be the guy pounding beers at Second and Bell in about twenty minutes. Christ that’s a sketchy fucking block though.
I thought that was the Seattle skyline in your avatar. If you’re on Facebook join the wonkette group. I’m trying to get a group together to watch the debates in a bar in Seattle. Not sure where.
Still think Little Stevie could be the set up man for Barry doing a rendition of Mr Bojangles.
—-
I knew a man, Bojangles, and he danced for you
In worn out shoes.
With silver hair, a ragged shirt and baggy pants,
The old soft shoe.
—-
Fuck me, if that’s not a transition to bring Joe Biden on stage!
i can’t find Colbert and Legend sing/fight on youtube. Any chance for a link?
Oh, John Legend… he makes me moist.
and I’m convinced that song “Save Room for My Love” is about anal sex.
On the music front, didya notice what song they played when Hopey was finally officially nominated? LOVE TRAIN! Ohmigawd, the soul patrol HAS taken over. No more Happy Days Are Here Again; the Dems made it into the SECOND half of the 20th century, AND you can dance to it, so I’d give it a 10. Let’s see what the Repukes have. Probably flappers and raccoon coats. 23-skidoo, Twin Cities.
Hey, if the Hopeys arrest ABC News reporters, how will the Repugnicrats top them? Sulphuric-acid cannons? Chain-saw troops? Total Nuclear War? Ain’t gonna be pretty in the twin-cetty.
I think “Barackstock” sounds better than Woodstock. Anyone tried to get the exact time of the event from Google? It’s like a closely guarded state secret.
“…who will masturbate with a cactus…”
Well, jerk me off with a barb-wire glove…
Masturbate with a cactus! Ha, and then ha a second time.