FOTO FUNNIES  5:13 pm August 27, 2008

A Children’s Treasury of DNC Denver Snapshots

by Ken Layne

Little Big Man
It’s Dennis “The Menace” Kucinich thrilling the crowd on Tuesday! He kicked ass and took names! Wild applause! But the insurance companies and oil monsters still run the world — sorry, Denny! Oh look we have some more pictures ….

Aww.
Downtown Denver at sunset, from the Pepsi Center.

Fucking Soviets.
Some of the billion passes you need to get anywhere or see anything — and some need to be renewed every day

Buncha hippies.
Hanging out at the Daily Kos “Big Tent” with our buddy Henry Copeland of BlogAds. Inside, there are smelly liberal bloggers watching a video feed and eating from sketchy catering trays. There are other secrets, too ….

Hell.
Hell Itself: the unassigned-media filing room in the bowels of Pepsi Center. No food, no beer, stale air, dull nobodies typing in the afternoon. There’s an even-worse “Blogger Lounge” behind this room: It’s a dank stinking sweat cave, two rows of tables jammed together, and an angry temp worker who refuses to let you even peep in the airless death chamber unless your cardboard “Blogger Lounge” card is displayed prominently — which identifies you to the rest of the media as a Total Loser. We stay far away from these low-ceilinged dens of vanquished hope.

Just cold hatin' on blogs.
Much better to work up here in the CBS Radio balcony, where nobody bothered us, because your editor looks like he might fucking kill somebody at any moment.

Whatever, Founding Fathers!
Here is your un-American editor laughing through the Pledge of Allegiance or something.

teevee show
It’s a teevee show, sure. So you need a very pretty set. And this is pretty, the end. Also, there really is a live “house band” that plays those award-show intro bits of terribly arranged pop songs of the past. We stumbled into their dressing room by mistake yesterday. They were just doin’ lines off Ted Kennedy’s stomach and humpin’ on Madeleine Albright.

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 22 comments }

NoWireHangers August 27, 2008 at 5:18 pm

First Picture = The Wonderful Wizard of Oz

Ken, you should have gone with a beard of bees. That always keeps the haters away.

Not_So_Much August 27, 2008 at 5:19 pm

Why do you hate ‘Murka, Sara?

AngryBlakGuy August 27, 2008 at 5:20 pm

…Sara totally looks like she is snorting in that pic(7th)!

loudmouthredhead August 27, 2008 at 5:21 pm

Wow, on that Jumbo-Tron our favorite elf-troll halfling looks almost normal-person sized. Wait…was he on hottie Elizabeth’s shoulders?

Blogger lounge, my ass…You nerds were having a crazy WoW LAN-party, weren’t you? Admit it!

Is it eco-friendly to consume one tree to credential-ify a single reporter? That’s not conservation I can believe in!

Oscar Folsom Cleveland August 27, 2008 at 5:21 pm

Wow. I thought Dr Dean would provide better Internets tubes connections, like wall plugs and some push button dial-up modems for free.

Why does the Demopublicans hate the world wild blog?

qwerty42 August 27, 2008 at 5:22 pm

so …. it begins again ….
were there any reports on the wild parties that you went to? Or is the really wild stuff happening in the Cities?

loudmouthredhead August 27, 2008 at 5:22 pm

[re=71893]Not_So_Much[/re]: I betcha that was from last night, when that guy farted right in front of them as Hillz started blinding people with orange radiance. Am I right, Sara?

S.Luggo August 27, 2008 at 5:23 pm

When the Kucinich delegates going to make their motion for a roll call vote? The waiting for this bomb to drop is killing me.

SayItWithWookies August 27, 2008 at 5:24 pm

Is it just me, or do SKS and Ken Layne have matching wedding bands?

S.Luggo August 27, 2008 at 5:25 pm

[re=71901]S.Luggo[/re]: When ARE the Kuchinich blah, blah, blah …

loudmouthredhead August 27, 2008 at 5:25 pm

[re=71898]Oscar Folsom Cleveland[/re]: Now now, don’t sound ignant, son. They’s usin’ parrots that chirp them modem tones into tin cans with string.

GlennBecksTaint August 27, 2008 at 5:25 pm

i want to see more roman columns. sweet sweet columns.

Rickish August 27, 2008 at 5:25 pm

God. This roll call shit is PAINFUL.

Cape Clod August 27, 2008 at 5:26 pm

No pictures allowed in the Big Tent?

loudmouthredhead August 27, 2008 at 5:28 pm

[re=71901]S.Luggo[/re]: Turns out Elizabeth doesn’t count as a pledged delegate, so no one took up the call.

JeffGoldblum August 27, 2008 at 5:34 pm

They gave Kos a fucking tent? And a fucking BIG tent at that? There aren’t enough drugs in Denver to make that scene tolerable.

natoslug August 27, 2008 at 5:37 pm

At least your unassigned media filing room has padded walls so you’ll feel at home.

hockeymom August 27, 2008 at 5:48 pm

Wow.
I am getting a nose bleed just looking at your location in the Pepsi Center.

In your spare time, mosey down to the Denver Press Club, 1330 Glenarm Place. It’s got a great old-timey feel and you’ll probably see local columnist and legend, Dusty Saunders, at the bar. He’s the media critic at the paper, but probably is unfamiliar with the word “blogger”. He’s good for a couple of stories if you buy him a drink.

I believe there is also a strip club next door, should your tastes run more in that direction.

HIROHITO99 August 27, 2008 at 5:49 pm

I don’t think you should type the words “humpin’ on Madeleine Albright.” in that order ever again.

HIROHITO99 August 27, 2008 at 5:51 pm

[re=71920]JeffGoldblum[/re]: HA! I met Kos once and I can tell you that truer words have never been spoken. It takes A LOT of booze to tolerate him for more that 5 minutes.

The Incomparable Tiny Valdez August 27, 2008 at 6:14 pm

When I first saw the set I thought it was for the Miss Telemundo pageant.

Godot August 27, 2008 at 7:35 pm

At a glance, that last shot of the stage looks more like a shot of the set of Friday Night SmackDown.

Actually, I bet the DNC could learn a thing or two about setting up a huge event like this from WWE.

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