Wonkette
Your Wonkette Hallway Correspondent files this important update from the subartic climes outside the nosebleed ring of seats. Nobody famous is walking around this area, but that doesn’t stop the doorway badge-checkers from fixing this editor with a look of deep suspicion as she blogs very quietly from a modest seated position on the floor and waits for her computer battery to charge. The scent of burnt popcorn is overwhelming. Is that a sign of brain cancer? Senility? The ghost of George Washington Carver? No, that is peanuts.
Yesterday people were just milling around very casually. Today there is a lot of purposeful striding, and the shoes are nicer. Another Hilltard conspiracy? When will an old lady trip over our crossed ankles and sue Wonkette out of existence for breaking her artificial hip? The only warm thing in the whole building is the laptop. Make the freezing go away, sweet laptop.
You must be seeing a lot of cankles tonight from your sitting position.
Sarah, check for nearby trees. A single tree might yield up to 40 barrels of oil that you can burn for warmth.
itgetter: I accidentally corrected the spelling of your name.
Stay strong Sara. St. Paul will be your challenge. They won’t have “blogger lounges”. You will have to wait in line at the Western Union telegraph window.
It’s Janet Napolitanopiscopo!
Meanwhile, Janet Napolitano looks — and sounds — like Mr. Bubble.
Ooooo. Janet Napolitano is speaking now. She’s actually spruced herself up. Personally, I find her pantsuit to be a pink monstrosity, but she’s trying. So, ladies and gentlemen, who wants to be the first to give my Governor a good time. Her heart’s in the right place, and what happens at the convention stays at the convention….
Oooh, commercial for Rachel’s new show! The fangirl in me cannot be contained at this moment.
This is going to prepare you for the icy mist that is going to settle over Denver later this evening when that shrieking harridan opens her maw to call her PUMA army to action.
loquaciousmusic: Officer, Officer, There’s a man in the podium! There’s a man in the podium!!
Don’t worry, it will all heat up when Hillz and her supporters turn up to wrap everyone in their tight, python-like embrace.
wheelie: Fuck all this. I’m watching How Clean Is Your House? until I die.
Good Old Tom can always shoehorn in a Greatest Generation reference with the best of them.
Nice filler post. Are you sticking your feet out enough? Make some news you closet PUMA.
Godless Liberal *: That made Diet Coke shoot out my nose, thank you very much. Let’s see…Lion, Witch or Wardrobe? I guess I’ll pick…uhhh…witch. The PUMA Army will be fully arrayed in black pantsuits and gold earrings and full of progestrin. “Follow me, girls to the promised land…”
Why does CNN hate America? Holding their Hillz pabel while The Honorable Jennifer Granholm – Governor of Michigan is moderating a scintillating, energetic and timely panel on…on….on….The Economy.
Pouring myself round two of rum and fruit juice…
loquaciousmusic: That’s mean. Besides, she looked more like Frankenberry…..but yeah, her voice was all Mr Bubble.
I’m afraid that Janet, like Joe Lieberman, will come back from her convention a virgin.
Sara, Sara, Sara…..we need to send you Pirate Cap’n Morgan with a St. Bernard and keg full o’ rum!!!! Please build a fire of discarded campaign hats! Wonkette operatives, send fresh baked chocolate chip cookies now!
this Obamacan looks scared to death.
Pat Buchanan LOVES being booed. He feeds off it.
steely resolve!! steely resolve!!
MSNBC has live peanuts gallery booing Rev. Dr. Pat Buchanan and cheering thespian Rachel Maddow!
bottoms up
wow this NCer is makin’ it real
Charles Barkley was actually quite eloquent. Why isn’t he a talking head on CNN?
‘…not just the future of our planet….’ ummmmm something more important than that?
“Matthew Modine, calling Matthew Modine…please proceed to the subartic ring, bring blankets and hot toddy for Wonkette princess Sara.”
“Calling Lawrence Fishburne, Lawrence Fishburne…your friend Sara is trapped in the cold zone and needs your warm body NOW!”
“Susan Sarandon and Alan Cumming, please…Alan Cumming and Susan Sarandon…your presence is needed immediately in the beyond-away area. Sara of Wonkette, Inc. needs food, drink and companionship. Thank you.”
This may be a little off topic, but what the fuck is with the shitty soundtrack at the convention? They just introduced the current speaker with “Everyday People” by Sly and the Family Stone. Normally, that’d be fucking awesome, but this wasn’t the Stand version. Oh no. It was some shitty $20 Casio keyboard version.
Boo DNC soundtrack. Boo.
SEBELIUS!!!!!
What time does Hillz come on to bring the curtain down on CankleCon08?
WonkaBee: WORD
why the long face?
There’s some weird Cheney lookalike waving at CNN’s cameras right now.
Don’t worry, Sara, Billary is speaking tonight, so you’ll be able to warm yourself by the soft glow of a thousand hot flashes.
Dude, Chris Matthews is totally withholding sex from Keith tonight. Did anybody else see how pissy he just got?
Well! Sebelius was not that inspiring a speaker
I just thought of a new interrogation method we could use on the detainees at Guantanamo. They could play tapes of this convention for them on an endless loop.
off topic- i heard andrea mitchell was under the weather today (she is talking on my teevee now). anyone on the ground know if she just got really drunk last night and tried to become miss buffalo chip? and are pics available?
Andrea Mithcell would like to hear more about the VP vetting process from Tim Kaine. “Well let’s talk about Obama’s plan fo–” “NO WHAT QUESTIONS DID THEY ASK YOU?!?”
Keram2: This is the second night of bad DNC soundtrack. Last night it was all “Celebrate Good Times” and the like. Awful. Sadly, it’s being played by a live band.
WonkaBee: Was that Sebelius? Good lord, I thought it was the voice when the airplane’s in trouble that tells you to walk calmly to the nearest exit. I was trying to pay attention to her speech, but I kept getting distracted over at paintdrying.com.
Fear not, Sara…..Mark Warner is in makeup and will be out shortly to warm up the Pepsi Thunderdrone…
http://biglizards.net/Graphics/ForegroundPix/MarkWarnerPicManipulatedByBigLizards2.jpg
wheelie: HRC sweeps into the great hall around 10:30 EDT. Her broom has been cleaned and the flying monkeys are out of the cage.
During Frederico Pena’s speech, PBS cut to a shot of the floor in front of him. Folks are milling about, talking on phones and not paying attention. If the Democrats aren’t excited by their own convention, why should I be?
Kathleen Sibelius was bad but F Pena (who I figured had switched parties by now) was worse. Man, it is the parade of retreads. Gotta fill that time.
itgetter: There’s poo coming down at MSNBC. Keith & Scarborough went at it last night and Rachel almost logicized Buchanan into a knot. Strangely, we don’t need any of the “convention” for this. The soap opera is the reality show called MSNBC news.
This “country club economics” thing is making the Dems sound like Republicans with the repetetive talking points.
Wow. Spike Lee looks like hell.
David Brooks and the pink ties, shirts, blah, blah. Tonight’s pancake make-up is a little less brown than last night, but his lips are bubblegum colored. Of course, Shields is the ancient of days.
Spike Lee is wearing a t-shirt featuring Obama dunking on McCain, and this shatters many a stereotype.
Would it be wrong to pray for subtitles? I swear, she’s made some excellent points — especially that McCain has consistently voted against equal pay for women legislation — but her cadence and pronunciation together are a little opaque.
smellyal8r: The music is awful. So difficult. They are politicians not artists!
Purple tie night on MSNBC? D Gregory and Keith apparently didn’t call each other this a.m. (or roll over to compare notes).
Godless Liberal *: The Bitterz love that.
SayItWithWookies: Straight up, I thought she was very good. Like you say, she made some excellent points.
Sebelius is the governor of KANSAS, y’alls. what were you expecting, Liberace? but good lord can she clean some fiscal house.
I do love Bob Casey. He is a mini-me of his Dad, but he’s a really good guy.
Sharif DelMonte: Nobody wanted to go on Hillary’s night because they knew she’d be the big story and nobody would remember anyone else. So it’s Hillary supporters and people low down enough on the totem pole that this potential obscurity still counts as a plus. Anyway, that’s my completely speculative theory.
Robert Casey’s cadence is dreadfully dull, speak of the devil.
Thank you to MSNBC for reminding the nation that Bob Casey hates abortions, because that is all his speech is about.
“Bob” Casey, Jr., Pennsylvania is speaking
Nice lips….botox?….for a str8 senator.
Manly eyebrows, too
Says he *really* know Barack Obama
Oh….knows Hillz, too….bisexual senator?
Soon: The Bitterz-berg Address
btw, has someone stepped on Keith’s tail? I wonder if he’s gotten some internal heat over his performance yesterday.
wheelie: Yeah I don’t mean to sound horribly racist — that has nothing to do with it — I just had a hard time understanding her. But they definitely have squandered the potential for a crescendo.
Oh, that was a good line: “That’s not a maverick — that’s a sidekick.” I would be glad to eat my earlier words.
Okay, five more months, but who’s counting?
‘that’s not maverick! that’s a sidekick!!’ CHOICE!
Casey’s woopin’ ‘em up! ‘4 more months!’
Is there anyone in Denver who has not worked very closely with Barack Obama, for many years, and has not moulded his character and stuff?
smellyal8r: Thanks xx
Man, Lilly Ledwhatever’s lips don’t move. Like, at all.
Watching Crazy and Keith on MSNBC is painful plus Matthews looks like that drunken Mayor of London who claimed the Olympic flag on Sunday.
Ohhh, I remember this woman. Holy crap — if I was Goodyear I would not cross this woman.
this lady’s facial movements remind me of a nutcracker.
go Lilly!!!
Maybe you could burn the contents of your free swag bag to get warm?
SayItWithWookies: Mrs. Ledbetter is going to buy Goodyear and eat the factory brick by brick.
Oh yes it’s ladies night
And the feeling’s right
Oh yes it’s ladies night
Oh what a night (oh what a night)
(*Repeat)
Girls, y’all got one
A night that’s special everywhere
From New York to Hollywood
It’s ladies night and girl
the feeling’s good
(*Repeat 2 times)
Romantic Lady , single baby
Mm sophisticated mama
Come on you disco lady yeah
Stay with me tonight , mama ,yeah
If you hear any noise
It ain’t the boys , it’s ladies night , uh huh
Gonna step out ladies night
Steppin’ out ladies night
Gonna step out ladies night
Steppin’ out ladies night
(Repeat *)
On disco lights your name will be seen
You can fullfill all your dreams
Party here, party there, everywhere
This is your night, baby
You’ve got to be there
This is your night
Tonight , everything is gonna be alright (repeat)
Come on let’s all celebrate(repeat)
Oh ladies night and the feeling’s right
Come on let’s all celebrate
Lovely lady, lady, I love you
Girls, y’all got one (what?)
A night that’s special everywhere
You dance, you smile, the guys go wild
So chic so fine you all looks so divine
Wow — fuck yeah. Hey, the Democrats actually stand for something real, and here she is. I’m going to bring this to mind every time some corporate goon gets on the Republican stage and denounces our “lawsuit mentality” and the evils of regulation.
I’ve said it before and I say it again…Mark Warner’s teeth are too big for his mouth/head.
She was great!
Ladies, start your vibrators. It’s Mark Warner!
Oh new liveblog.
o god i’ve got pressure in my bowelz
Poor Sara. Be of good cheer, as we all do our time in the equivalent of Siberia. One day, all prisoners will be set free! Nearly free. Whatevs.