Wonkette
BACK TO HELL DOME: We’re off to Pepsi Center for another long day of indignities and dull horror. If you are a pal, send us a message and we’ll meet up at some media tent or “blogger lounge” before Hillary incites a housewife riot. Also, anything going on tonight? All of our big parties were last night, so we basically didn’t go to any of them.
I expect full coverage of tonight’s drama, y’all. Full, well-rounded, and supple.
Go with JEEBUS. Perhaps you could wear this shirt? Sorta like that cloak that Frodo got from the elves.
I hear that the entire Fox News contingent is sneaking back to O’Reilly’s room to have teh secks. But that’s every night, right?
Cogito Ergo Bibo: ghey orgies for everyone!
Go. To. Gabor’s.
Cogito Ergo Bibo: I wonder if his room smells like hummus.
Cogito Ergo Bibo: Yes. Loud, angry sex. With luffas.
(I’ve heard) mingle with the delegations. Maybe CA (should be some good parties) or IL (hey, Hopey’s their guy). And what about news organizations? Since you’re there in force, I’d spread out. We’ll expect full reports at zero-800 tomorrow. as always, should you or any of your Wonkette team be caught or captured, the commenters will disavow any knowledge of your activities. good luck, Ken.
shadenhausfrau
I thought you guys were saving your subtle Replacements references until you guys got to the Twin Cities. I guess there’s always Husker Du jokes…
Carry a baseball bat to fend of any rabid Pumas you may encounter.
4tehlulz: Falafel. Noththatidknowanythingaboutthat.
Back in the old days we traded Pepsi for Stolichnaya. I think the Stoli Center has a nicer ring to it.
ABCnews.com is reporting Indiana House Speaker B. Patrick Bauer assured reporters today that “The red meat’s coming”, which I think we all know means something very, very dirty.
SRSLY WALL TO WALL COVERAGE PLZ
Last night’s liveblogging was lame. Get it together, guys. At LEAST a bottle of wine each before you set up your laptops in the Blogger’s chatroom, and we don’t want to miss stuff this time, so you should start drinking…about an hour ago.
GlennBecksTaint: FTW!
The guy from Fishbowl DC is being interviewed on the CNN livestream right now. He sounds like he’s the hookup to over “400 parties.” Be shameless. Get blasted.
So, I’m visitin’ yer country of these United States now. And the teevee talking heads keep sayin’ the same unoriginal thangs over n’ over. Wonkette is so much better! Blog on.
Somewhere Eliot Spitzer sits in the dark watching C-Span.
Godspeed oh great and mighty representatives of United Republic of Wonketteria. Make sure to remember to wear your catharsis protection gear.
dedalus: with a 5 whore diamond call girl
Try a PUMA for guilty, angry sex with crying and resentment afterwards.
When you blog through a storm
Hold your laptop up high,
And don’t be afraid of Rove’s bark.
At the end of a storm is a cold Mai Tai,
And the sweet silver song of some snark.
Blog on through the wind,
Blog on through the rain,
Tho’ your memes be tossed and blown.
Blog on, blog on with Hopey in your heart
And you’ll never blog alone,
You’ll never, ever blog alone.
Blog on, blog on with Hopey in your heart
And you’ll never blog alone,
You’ll never, ever blog alone.
While listing to the NPR story on PUMA this morning, I thought about how stunningly simplistic the MSM’s journalistic biases are and how ridiculously easy they are to exploit.
PUMA – everything from its naughty-acronym and catchy brand name, to its inarticulate and faggoty made-for-Bravo-TV characters, er, members; it couldn’t have been more asinine if Wolf Blitzer or Danny-Boy Abrams conceived it for a cable news show. Here it is - the story the MSM desperately wants to cover, all in a nice neat package, complete with angry sound bites and catered parties with satellite hookups.
If there any TV studio heads (or George Clooney) are listening, I have the perfect idea for a new reality show. Everyday, contestants come up with the perfect Made for Cable News story, something that is the perfect wet dream of cable news TV producers. The winner will be the person that can get their obnoxious group of assholes and fake umbrage in heavy rotation in at least one 24-hour news cycle.
For the Republican Convention, I envision the winner being auspiciously some anti-GOP-unity group (made up of entirely of registered Democrats) representing Evangelicals Against Wife-Beating Senile Assholes. Of course to Become America’s Next Top Useless Cable News Story, you would have to make an acronym that spells out DADDY YANKEE or HEIDI MONTAG or something.
Just keep in mind that John McCain endured five and a half years of indignities and dull horror when he was a prisoner of war. Chew on that while you’re smelling the nerd-stink from the dank confines of the “blogger’s lounge”.
HIROHITO99: And then he came back to the US and took it out on his wife. Peace at hand indeed.
Again I’m going to ask that they wait for me to get home and de-pants before they start.
DoctorCulturae: Would that be his car crash old and busted wife or his rich cougar pill popping c*nt wife who has more houses than anyone can count?
Would someone in Denver please find that paultard screaming behind Chris Matthews and punch him in the throat.
You cannot go wrong with any of these places:
Larmier Lounge
Goosetown Tavern
Lion’s Lair Lounge
HIROHITO99: Choose one from column A or two from column B.
So who is dynamic go-getter that is speaking at the Convention right now?
wheelie: the dynamic go-getter . . . No matter . . .
wheelie: You idiot, you are the only person watching the convention live. There you are at your laptop, in Dublin, Ireland, drinking in every word of every random imbecile they allow on stage in Denver, while nobody but nobody in the US gives a cat’s asshole about what is going on, for the ‘random imbecile’ reason already noted.
I think the crashed five planes meme should be put into heavier rotation to counter the FIVE AND A HALF YEARS! meme. I mean, how much did is recklessness cost the US taxpayers?
wheelie: lol…im watching too…a lot of folks in the US are on their way home…
I am hoping for more “celebration,” no rhythm, white folk dancing myself.
wheelie: What’s a Dubliner care about US politics anyways?
P.S. Send more Jamiesons. This Irish-American is drinking more than his share.
The Incomparable Tiny Valdez: you are on to something. one year in the bamboo box for each plane jonnie crashed (and six months to process the paperwork)
Can you liveblog the parties? That would be awesome…must be some rampant post-Olympic DNC sex talk around Denver somewhere.
anabellum: Oh thank gawd. I can only imagine there are huge traffic jams caused by people rushing home to tape the convention music for their next mix tape.
KevoTron: I’m an election junkie, and this here US election is currently the greatest show on earth. PS Will send Jamesons, Bushmills and Baileys Liqueurs as part of emergency relief for convention-watchers.
wheelie: I just moved into a new apartment and don’t have cable or internet set up. And since I can’t watch it at work, I have to rely on the ABC Convention Highlight Reel. But four years ago I watched it all on C-SPAN because I am insane.
The Incomparable Tiny Valdez:
And he graduated 5TH FROM THE BOTTOM OF HIS CLASS!
Also the KEATING FIVE!!!!
He crashed FIVE PLANES!!!
FIVE AND A HALF YEARS!!!!
This is cosmic stuff peoples!
The number five is not lucky for the Senator.
sweetits: It should be pursued. I made two typos in two comments. I am slapping my own wrist with a ruler.
The Incomparable Tiny Valdez: just remember to go across the street and not up the highway….could get messy otherwise.
wheelie: Sensational! For your efforts we (the US) shall forgive Ireland for the following: Riverdance (and Michael Flatley in general) and The Cors.
Another P.S. I’ve been introduced to Red Breast and Middleton’s in the last year. Yum!
tunamelt: I feel for you. Re: four years ago, that was the only election in the world that ever made me cry for sadness at the result. You knew it was coming but still, it was painful. Hopey O’Change better come through this time.
hockeymom: And why isn’t anyone pursuing the Keating Five? I mean, shouldn’t the DNC have a whole team of PR reps just hammering away at all the major news organizations to pick that story up? If the republotards can build a tempest in a teapot over non issues like Obama’s crazy preacher and the fact that he bought his house from a swindler we should at least be able to drum up some reminders about the Keating Five right??? or is that story not “sexy” enough?
Kucinich speaking now….6:48 ET.
Still small.
But on fire.
Started out by saying “This one’s for you, Stephanie.”
WTF?
Anyway, he’s right about everything.
As usual.
Kucinich is whipping the crown into a frenzy…they’re on their feet. Why isn’t he on prime-time?
Enough with the inspiring political rhetoric, Dennis - bring out Elizabeth!
@Ken Layne, I can’t believe you all are in the Real Blogging Room while I am in the Big Tent near DailyKos. But we have smoothies, and don’t have to actually pay attention to things, and massages, and Arianna Huffington is personally giving facials or some shit in the Alliance Center. None of this assuages my bitterness.
hockeymom:
uh. whipping the CROWD, I mean.
Also, he’s talking about tapping things.
And the color orange.
Ooh Dennis Kucinich is raising the roof.
Up With People, Dennis…just scream it!
Hey, is anyone here attending grad school or considering attending grad school, and is there a reason to actually do so, or is it just for the criminally insane?
KevoTron: Don’t bother, we haven’t even forgiven ourselves for that sh*t yet.
hockeymom: because he directly refers to workers and makes David Brooks cry.
tunamelt: It is for the criminally insane. It makes me regret not going into public relations, and I really hated public relations. Today wasn’t so bad though. I was “researching” from home because my office mate is a sociopath and have been drinking since ten this morning and yelling at Chris Matthews who I feel has been on the television for very many hours.
crossapply: The blogging room (in the filing center) sucks ass. We spent about four seconds there. Now we’re up in the balcony where it’s nice and airy and we can look scornfully at the delegates and speakers.
But the Media Tents … er, “Pavilions” … are the way to go. Newell is just drinking at Capt. Morgan’s tent. Soon I will join him. Fuck this convention.
Northern California logging in here….4:30 PST, time to get up, I guess…..exhale…..inhale….cough cough
WHY are all these Democratic wenches on stage all at once?
WHY is John King soooo in love with his magickal CNN electoral vote board?
HOW do I ain access to that exciting Pirate Alcohol Party, puh-leeze?
Whatever
Rum and fruit juice here, starting the day. Fired up, too, ready to….laugh
Oscar Folsom Cleveland: goddamn hippie
tunamelt: grad school is where i learned to writes so good and everything…
anabellum: it’s been like 3 months since graduation and all my friends from college are off to grad school and everyone i know from high school is preggers. so i’m having a crisis–go to grad school or get pregnant?
anabellum: oh gawd….then its a def….get thee to an institute of higher learning…
truthfully, i like grad school…it suits me…
tunamelt: oops…comment above was meant for you…
tunamelt: when i started my first masters degree it was prompted by a fear of having children. my second because i finally figured out what i wanted to be. go to school.
wheelie: can you get any of those single malt irish that we are seeing? send any you can find. i’ll sing Danny Boy. If you send enough, I won’t sing it.
(a href=”http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AcDAPjRvjAE”>Millers Crossing