• May 27, 2012

Convention Season: It’s Springtime In Bob Schieffer’s Pants

by Jim Newell  7:10 pm August 25, 2008

Here is veteran CBS hand Bob Schieffer remembering his favorite convention memories from the past. He treated the 1968 Democratic convention as a sex holiday, because that’s where he impregnated his wife, as was the style of the time. [YouTube]

{ 275 comments }

Gopherit v2.0 August 25, 2008 at 7:15 pm

Look out ladies! Bob Schieffer is lookin’ for some strange!

sanantonerose August 25, 2008 at 7:24 pm

Meh. He’s past my expiration date.

schvitzatura August 25, 2008 at 7:28 pm

Discuss your medical conditions with your doctor, Bob, to ensure LEVITRA is right for you and that you are healthy enough for sexual activity…forty years on.

Meh.

Bimetallism is back in vogue, according to Paultards everywhere…FWIW…

AmericanValues August 25, 2008 at 7:32 pm

Did Schieffer have a shotgun wedding?

HollowBrain August 25, 2008 at 7:38 pm

“…Chicago ’68 wasn’t all fighting in the streets…”

I just puked. I didn’t throw up in my mouth a little. I flat out vomited blackness. Because I am drinking Guinness.

Thanks Bob.

The Incomparable Tiny Valdez August 25, 2008 at 7:39 pm

No comment.

mattbolt August 25, 2008 at 7:39 pm

Of all family traditions, “Having passionate, liberal sex with future spouse at political convention, only to discuss it later with family members” is one that I’d be uncomfortable continuing

The Incomparable Tiny Valdez August 25, 2008 at 7:44 pm

I love the smell of tear gas in the morning.

Mahousu August 25, 2008 at 7:45 pm

There are 13,000 reporters in Denver right now, approximately 12,980 of whom think of Bob Schieffer as a role model. Be careful, Sara. Just … be careful.

Serolf Divad August 25, 2008 at 7:45 pm

I wonder if he’s arranged to have a hooker sent up to his room to commemorate the occasion.

johnbpt August 25, 2008 at 7:47 pm

But being a rebel back then, he kept an onion stuffed in his pants, rather than tied to his belt.

soytrucknutz August 25, 2008 at 7:48 pm

Oh help, there are white people dancing to soulful music sung by little children on CNN’s live feed from the convention floor. I’m waiting for David Gregory to bust a move.

echoman2000 August 25, 2008 at 7:55 pm

white people with NO CLOTHING ALLOWANCE.

Gopherit v2.0 August 25, 2008 at 7:57 pm

[re=68941]soytrucknutz[/re]: Now that the economic panel discussion has started, you’re gonna long for David G’s slick moves.

Or even for a little more awkward time with Bob Schieffer.

echoman2000 August 25, 2008 at 8:00 pm

i wish my spanish was better, but, on cnn en espanol, there’s two latino anchors going at it and one is wearing a hillary button. wtf?

Monsieur Grumpe August 25, 2008 at 8:01 pm

A little while later Bob and his wife are having dinner…

Bob’s Wife: I saw your commentary this evening.
Bob: What did you think?
Bob’s wife: How many times do I need to tell you that she’s not your daughter?
Bob: Stop torturing me.

echoman2000 August 25, 2008 at 8:03 pm

i believe he’s saying that hillary supporters that are latino are going to vote for mc cain. there giving this hillary guy like 10 minutes of time. omg!

SayItWithWookies August 25, 2008 at 8:04 pm

[re=68947]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: That explains why her middle name is “Cronkite.”

echoman2000 August 25, 2008 at 8:06 pm

una maz cervasa par favor, pronto.

Canmon (the Inadequate) August 25, 2008 at 8:09 pm

[re=68949]echoman2000[/re]: Daddy Yankee?

echoman2000 August 25, 2008 at 8:10 pm

my sense here in mexico is that most want obama. but, there are the clitonbots running amok all over the planet it seems. uh oh…our lady of botox has taken the stand. has she had a neck lift? not a wrinkle anywhere. amazing.

echoman2000 August 25, 2008 at 8:14 pm

[re=68954]Canmon (the Inadequate)[/re]: is that code for white?

Destonio August 25, 2008 at 8:15 pm

Pelosi flew in on the Starship Enterprise?

DoctorCulturae August 25, 2008 at 8:15 pm

[re=68956]echoman2000[/re]: So, has Hilbot, B. Boxer, and now Fancy Nancy all gone to the same hair dresser.

And btw, I propose we drink when the Bitterz cheer on too long after Hilz is mentioned.

DoctorCulturae August 25, 2008 at 8:17 pm

Sorry Bob, too much information.

loquaciousmusic August 25, 2008 at 8:17 pm

I’m watching Tim Kaine talk on CNN, but I can’t get past his hair.

Also, has Candy Crowley lost weight? So now she’s only, like, 4,000 pounds?

Whiskeybaby August 25, 2008 at 8:20 pm

Wow, I bet Nancy’s excited to have been busted out of the cryogenic chamber for this special occasion!!

DoctorCulturae August 25, 2008 at 8:23 pm

I think poor Nancy is having trouble keeping her teeth in. They may pop at any moment.

SayItWithWookies August 25, 2008 at 8:24 pm

If I had to guess, without any prior knowledge, I’d say that Nancy Pelosi had never spoken in public before.

Whiskeybaby August 25, 2008 at 8:25 pm

This is like the Oscars without the good looking people.

AnnieGetYourFun August 25, 2008 at 8:26 pm

[re=68974]SayItWithWookies[/re]: OMG, took the words RIGHT out of my mouth. They’re making excused for her now, but jesus, that was painful.

SayItWithWookies August 25, 2008 at 8:27 pm

Jimmy Carter –
President
Humanitarian
Most Spotted Man in America

Whiskeybaby August 25, 2008 at 8:28 pm

[re=68974]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Right? Exactly how bad a public speaker do you have to be to verbally confuse the candidate of your own party, Barack Obama, with the OTHER candidate, John McCain? That’s like getting Jesus and Satan mixed up. In fact, that’s literally what it is!

Gopherit v2.0 August 25, 2008 at 8:29 pm

[re=68973]DoctorCulturae[/re]: She might make a great Convention Hookup for Bob S.

AnnieGetYourFun August 25, 2008 at 8:29 pm

Oh, btw, if anyone is superstitious, you might be interested in the fact that, as I was driving home and sobbing quietly to the sound of Nancy butchering her opening speech, just as she first said “Barack Obama is right and John McCain is WRONG”, lightning struck a nearby telephone pole and the radio totally went out for that sentence.

Lesson? The Republican God, who does not exist, loves John McCain. The end.

The Incomparable Tiny Valdez August 25, 2008 at 8:30 pm

Things like this make me ask why was I born and allowed to own a TV.

SayItWithWookies August 25, 2008 at 8:31 pm

[re=68979]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: [re=68981]Whiskeybaby[/re]: Fortunately that singer (whose name I’ve already forgotten, alas) made up for it in two minutes. Oh, Carter’s on live — hey Hillary, Rosalyn’s got the pantsuit thing down. That actually looks nice.

Whiskeybaby August 25, 2008 at 8:33 pm

Thank god, a montage of my sexy pretend boyfriend Barack Hussein Obama!! I might delay the suicide for a few minutes while teh sexy continues. Oh wait, it’s finished already.

SayItWithWookies August 25, 2008 at 8:33 pm

[re=68983]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: One more reason the Dems shulda left god outta this.

SayItWithWookies August 25, 2008 at 8:34 pm

“A truly hard act to follow…”
Uh, that’s why he’s going on last.

echoman2000 August 25, 2008 at 8:35 pm

go jimmy go. he looks great. they both look great actually. aging gracefully. way to go. keeping it real. how refreshing is that?

Whiskeybaby August 25, 2008 at 8:36 pm

Maya is warming my heart with her lovely skin, genuineness, ability to read a teleprompter and general air of being alive. I wonder if she’s considered a job as speaker of the house?

schvitzatura August 25, 2008 at 8:36 pm

[re=68987]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Billy Crystal would make a great Rosalyn Carter…just throw on his Princess Bride Miracle Max prosthetics!

Have fun storming the DNC!

echoman2000 August 25, 2008 at 8:38 pm

okay…we’re now in the winter of our discontent in Bob Schieffer’s pants. time for a new thread.

SayItWithWookies August 25, 2008 at 8:38 pm

[re=68992]Whiskeybaby[/re]: I’m all for it. Especially if impeachment isn’t off the table.

Gopherit v2.0 August 25, 2008 at 8:40 pm

[re=68993]schvitzatura[/re]: Aww, now was that nice??
Uncannily accurate, though.

AnnieGetYourFun August 25, 2008 at 8:41 pm

[re=68992]Whiskeybaby[/re]: Jessie Jackson Jr. is good.

Oh, shit. Funny name. Can they stop with that shit?

SayItWithWookies August 25, 2008 at 8:43 pm

Who is this Faith woman everyone keeps bringing up — and why is she a value?

soytrucknutz August 25, 2008 at 8:45 pm

When is Jesse Jackson Jr. going to invite his father on stage to take off Barack Obama’s nuts?

WonkaBee August 25, 2008 at 8:46 pm

[re=68979]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: ummmmm… would it be too crass to say ‘megadittos?’

Only thing I can think is that she’s used to the House floor, and not experienced with a teleprompter. Ooooh she could take lessons from JJ Jr!

SayItWithWookies August 25, 2008 at 8:47 pm

That one bit about “we are not without the he and the she” coulda been excised, but so far it’s going well. Oh, he’s gonna keep hitting this MLK speech anniversary thing. Oh no he’s not — he’s done.

schvitzatura August 25, 2008 at 8:47 pm

We rise as one people, one nation…Pumas and Obamatards alike!

anabellum August 25, 2008 at 8:48 pm

Bob Schieffer is younger than John McCain….

Gopherit v2.0 August 25, 2008 at 8:48 pm

Fat, old, white women dancing to a second-rate Kravitz cover. I’m urping a bit.

Oh, crap. Biden’s doing it, too.

soytrucknutz August 25, 2008 at 8:49 pm

The white people are dancing again, this time to a song about butt secks, which makes more sense.

ChernobylSoup August 25, 2008 at 8:49 pm

Pumas are “post-rational.” Best line, best new description of the year.

SayItWithWookies August 25, 2008 at 8:49 pm

Bella Abzug hat sighting in the crowd pan — that’s TWO drinks.

WonkaBee August 25, 2008 at 8:49 pm

oh goodness! Jimmie Carter is looking like this year’s winner of the ugly dog pageant.

AnnieGetYourFun August 25, 2008 at 8:50 pm

[re=69008]SayItWithWookies[/re]: That was fast. I like a guy with more stamina.

SayItWithWookies August 25, 2008 at 8:50 pm

West Virginia for Obama — yaaaay!

itgetter August 25, 2008 at 8:51 pm

I’m sorry, but am I the only one who just saw Joe Biden give a very little girl a hugely creepy kiss on MSNBC’s feed? Oh, and he’s continuing to fondle her face. And now he’s on the teenager! It’s not an endearing family moment, Joe. Stop.

schvitzatura August 25, 2008 at 8:51 pm

Joe, thanks for the great view; pate by Sy Sperling!

echoman2000 August 25, 2008 at 8:51 pm

who’s the woman in green doing the lambada next to biden? i want what she’s on.

soytrucknutz August 25, 2008 at 8:52 pm

[re=69011]anabellum[/re]: John McCain invented the telegraph.

AnnieGetYourFun August 25, 2008 at 8:53 pm

Anyone tired of pundits saying that ‘people feel like they don’t really KNOW Barack Obama’ – like the convention is going to be an honest airing of his proposed policies or a true idea of what he is like? Also, people who say that they don’t know anything about Obama are probably too old or dumb to use the internet.

SayItWithWookies August 25, 2008 at 8:53 pm

[re=69018]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: Maybe he’ll do it again later.
Oh and does someone in Denver need to go bail out Jim Ken and Sara?

MedianHater August 25, 2008 at 8:54 pm

Lisa Left Eye, Batman! What the…

soytrucknutz August 25, 2008 at 8:54 pm

Joe Biden’s wife Jill is a pretty good-looking blonde….he might wanna keep her away from John McCain.

WonkaBee August 25, 2008 at 8:55 pm

that eye!!

my god, the infernal glinting of that diabolical eye!

Gopherit v2.0 August 25, 2008 at 8:56 pm

[re=69029]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Either that, or take the bong away from them. Ending their day at 3…..nice work if you can get it.

echoman2000 August 25, 2008 at 8:56 pm

[re=69016]WonkaBee[/re]: what you see as ugly i see as beauty, grace and wisdom. i will always respect him.

anabellum August 25, 2008 at 8:56 pm

i dont know if my tender ears can handle this…please kill the DJ…

AnnieGetYourFun August 25, 2008 at 8:57 pm

[re=69029]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Oh, good point. Maybe just a Gatorade break?

I think I heard one of the NPR peeps mentioning that Jim is riding around on Kens shoulders and telling the bitters to flash their pendulous tits… nothing on Sara yet.

Gopherit v2.0 August 25, 2008 at 8:59 pm

No more Funky Good Time, I guess.

MedianHater August 25, 2008 at 9:01 pm

Am I the only poor shmuck who has to watch pubtv with Jim “hang loose” Lehrer? What are the spinning gerbils talking about? I’m so jealous.

S.Luggo August 25, 2008 at 9:01 pm

[re=68947]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: “Stop torturing me, Cindy.”
Kudos.

“Holy mudhead, mackerel! Morescience High…it’s dissapeared!!”

echoman2000 August 25, 2008 at 9:01 pm

okay, they’ve finally given airtime to a pro obama spokesperson on cnn en espanol. he’s good. he’s not as creepy as the dark skinned clintonbot. and he’s talking about chavez and cuba. cool.

WonkaBee August 25, 2008 at 9:02 pm

[re=69034]echoman2000[/re]: sorry, i like jimmie muchly. I was really thrown off by the eye..

Destonio August 25, 2008 at 9:03 pm

Just wondering: Does NBC have a F-ING SOUND ENGINEER WORTH A SHIT? What a disaster.

SayItWithWookies August 25, 2008 at 9:03 pm

[re=69033]Gopherit v2.0[/re]: They’re bloggers, dammit — they should know how to work stoned.

anabellum August 25, 2008 at 9:03 pm

in solidarity with those in Denver ive decided to drink a half bottle of wine during every commercial….which means im going to last about another 15 minutes…

The Incomparable Tiny Valdez August 25, 2008 at 9:03 pm

Tried to watch this shit, but no way. Told a trusted friend to call me in only if a real Kennedy or Obama were speaking.

SayItWithWookies August 25, 2008 at 9:05 pm

Mike Fisher, Amtrak Tech, is dancing on the corpse of Nancy Pelosi’s speaking ability.

SayItWithWookies August 25, 2008 at 9:06 pm

[re=69046]anabellum[/re]: C’mon — you’re drinking for two now.

anabellum August 25, 2008 at 9:07 pm

this is by far the worst edition of American Idol ive ever seen…

Cicada August 25, 2008 at 9:08 pm

Well, I am definitely enjoying Chris Matthews calling out the “Obama is a registered Mooslum” whackos. More! More!

He actually used the word “agitprop” more than once. My inner poligeek is swooning.

*slaps self across face*

Okay, I’m getting my bearings back now.

anabellum August 25, 2008 at 9:11 pm

[re=69049]SayItWithWookies[/re]: exactly….thus the two fisted approach…

WonkaBee August 25, 2008 at 9:12 pm

awwwggg Neil Diamond intro!!

Oscar Folsom Cleveland August 25, 2008 at 9:14 pm

Huzzah! Bob Schieffer can still remember dates and fucks, his children and numbers. If next week is his tenth-ever Republicrat cornvention, let’s celebrate by nominating him for Prez. Maybe McExxon will forget to show up, or be indefinitely delayed at Starbucks en route.

As for one hundred years ago and William Jennings Bryan’s Denver nomination, wasn’t Juan Walnuts! the original Scopes monkeyboy? Or was he still locked up in 1925 with his homothexual Viet-Namese Christian bondage master?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Bryan,_Judge_magazine,_1896.jpg

SayItWithWookies August 25, 2008 at 9:14 pm

Hiiiiiiigh Caroline.

AnnieGetYourFun August 25, 2008 at 9:16 pm

[re=69053]Cicada[/re]: Screw bearings, seriously. Who needs ‘em? (agitprop!)

OMG, who the fuck is doing the “Teddy is your senator, too?” thing right now? Fer fuck’s sake, people. Repeat a max of three times. MAX = 3 TIMES.

WonkaBee August 25, 2008 at 9:16 pm

they shoulda used Pere Ubu’s Caroleeeen!!!

DoctorCulturae August 25, 2008 at 9:16 pm

Ms. Caroline, class and lucidity. She’s the real deal. Her momma would be proud.

AnnieGetYourFun August 25, 2008 at 9:17 pm

Oh, jesus. Really? That’s her? I missed the intro.

soytrucknutz August 25, 2008 at 9:17 pm

Wait….it’s all becoming clear now……Ted Kennedy should be president, not Barack Obama! Ted Kennedy 2008!

AnnieGetYourFun August 25, 2008 at 9:17 pm

[re=69061]DoctorCulturae[/re]: Bah.

SayItWithWookies August 25, 2008 at 9:18 pm

Y’know — they’re making a serious pitch for the bitters tonight. And if Hillary has made this convention not take for granted unions, welfare, Medicaid, minimum wage, protecting labor or all of that other working-class stuff that they’ve seemed vaguely embarrassed about for the last eight years, then it’s worth it.

AngryBlakGuy August 25, 2008 at 9:18 pm

…for those of you that didnt see these bat-shit crazy “Clinton” supporters, here you go.

Enjoy!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bBfzk_syFTc

anabellum August 25, 2008 at 9:19 pm

[re=69060]WonkaBee[/re]: points for first Pere Ubu reference ive seen on this site…

WonkaBee August 25, 2008 at 9:19 pm

uncle teddy had a special relationship with all hhis little nieces

echoman2000 August 25, 2008 at 9:20 pm

i’m not sure white people im ralph lauren type sailboats is the united imagery i was hoping for. and while i’m at it, does anyone no his current wife?

Cicada August 25, 2008 at 9:21 pm

Wait- did Teddy die already? This tribute looks eerily like an obituary.

What do you think the odds are that they originally made this thing in case he died before the convention?

anabellum August 25, 2008 at 9:23 pm

[re=69070]echoman2000[/re]: he’s married to All of us….

jagorev August 25, 2008 at 9:23 pm

I’m just tuning in for the first time, and can I just give kudos to the DNC for its online HD streaming? This is the best quality streaming live video I’ve ever seen.

SayItWithWookies August 25, 2008 at 9:23 pm

[re=69070]echoman2000[/re]: It’s Vicky in the tribute. Not sure about bio.

echoman2000 August 25, 2008 at 9:24 pm

[re=69073]anabellum[/re]: cool

jagorev August 25, 2008 at 9:24 pm

Oh, and Caroline is just the epitome of class and beauty. Our next President, whoever he may be, needs to marry her.

The Hispanic Buddy Holly August 25, 2008 at 9:24 pm

[re=69067]anabellum[/re]: I second that.

S.Luggo August 25, 2008 at 9:25 pm

Schieffer is Dan Rather lite before the accretions of old age.
Hypothetically:
Rather: “The DNC convention is like a ho-down with two callers.”
Bob Schieffer: “Negros. As we’ve always asked in West Texas, what do they want?”

jagorev August 25, 2008 at 9:26 pm

AAAGH, it’s KERRY. That was frightening. God, can’t we please just keep him in a crypt until November 5?

echoman2000 August 25, 2008 at 9:26 pm

why can’t the president be single?

Cicada August 25, 2008 at 9:27 pm

Ted-dy! Ted-dy! Ted-dy!

SayItWithWookies August 25, 2008 at 9:28 pm

[re=69081]echoman2000[/re]: I’m sure Laura will let you have him.

SayItWithWookies August 25, 2008 at 9:29 pm

Oh fuck. This is a Lou Gehrig moment.

jagorev August 25, 2008 at 9:29 pm

Holy sh*t, I didn’t know he’d be speaking.

SayItWithWookies August 25, 2008 at 9:31 pm

[re=69085]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Okay nevermind — he promises to come back.

wheelie August 25, 2008 at 9:31 pm

Ted is looking and sounding surprisingly well.

chaseychasem August 25, 2008 at 9:31 pm

o snap!

WonkaBee August 25, 2008 at 9:32 pm

yeah …. snarkless …. temporary, i hope

smellyal8r August 25, 2008 at 9:32 pm

Should a movie about Ted Kennedy start with water? Just wonderin’.

Also, it’s good to see Brian Dennehey can still get work.

And, another thing…if it was such a “secret” that Ted might come to the event; or that he was laid up in his room too tired to come to the great hall, why oh why are there so many Kennedy signs out there on the floor? Caroline? Methinks not.

anabellum August 25, 2008 at 9:33 pm

[re=69085]SayItWithWookies[/re]: success…you made me crack up…well done..

The Hispanic Buddy Holly August 25, 2008 at 9:33 pm

Straight to the moon, Alice!

Cicada August 25, 2008 at 9:35 pm

[re=69092]smellyal8r[/re]: The pundits have been talking about him possibly appearing all day. It wasn’t confirmed until right before the convention coverage. I imagine because it would have been a HUGE downer if he was promised but then couldn’t make it.

echoman2000 August 25, 2008 at 9:36 pm

it got real all of a sudden. teddy is the real thing. i get all weepy when someone with a brain talks about america. wow.

but “still the one” ? ruined the whole moment for me.

anabellum August 25, 2008 at 9:37 pm

the Cuddle party continues…feels like time for more wine…

jagorev August 25, 2008 at 9:37 pm

This pretty much needs to be a campaign slogan: “Remember when went to the motherfucking moon?”

hrhkingfriday August 25, 2008 at 9:38 pm

yeah, i got nothin after that. i kinda feel bad for the old guy!

The Hispanic Buddy Holly August 25, 2008 at 9:39 pm

Kerry just said he is speechless. I don’t believe him.

WonkaBee August 25, 2008 at 9:39 pm

[re=69099]echoman2000[/re]: yes, that was musical travesty …. one in long series ….

wheelie August 25, 2008 at 9:40 pm

I think Teddy has upstaged Michelle. She can say what she likes; Ted will surely be the front page story.

jagorev August 25, 2008 at 9:41 pm

Temporarily snarkless after that.

But, still, this playlist sounds like it was picked by Harry Reid. Even U2 would be better than this.

Gopherit v2.0 August 25, 2008 at 9:42 pm

Is there anything John Kerry can’t fuck up? He is so freakin’ dull.

echoman2000 August 25, 2008 at 9:42 pm

[re=69092]smellyal8r[/re]: dude, don’t make me laugh. i’m out of beer and low peso’s. are UP WITH PEOPLE singing? wtf? it’s like sports bar karaoke for christ sakes. of course drug testing musicians might have taken a toll.

Gopherit v2.0 August 25, 2008 at 9:43 pm

[re=69104]WonkaBee[/re]: Whoever was hired to mix music needs to be shot and burned in the street.

WonkaBee August 25, 2008 at 9:44 pm

mark shields implied that ted took even more of a chance risking his immune system with all these disease-ridden Democrats.

MedianHater August 25, 2008 at 9:45 pm

[re=69103]The Hispanic Buddy Holly[/re]: one could only Hope…..

S.Luggo August 25, 2008 at 9:46 pm

[re=69081]echoman2000[/re]: Because he/she would be accused of:
A. Diddling all the K Street whores, unlike must of Congress, or
b. Being Irish Catholic

WonkaBee August 25, 2008 at 9:47 pm

[re=69108]echoman2000[/re]: Kennedy for you and me, bring back our democracy…

echoman2000 August 25, 2008 at 9:47 pm

and was teddy the first to talk about the geys?

DoctorCulturae August 25, 2008 at 9:49 pm

omg Dodd looks like Bob Eubanks.

jagorev August 25, 2008 at 9:50 pm

[re=69109]Gopherit v2.0[/re]: Hey now, maybe Barack picked the songs, and now the nice gentlemen of the Secret Service will be paying you a friendly visit.

ivenson August 25, 2008 at 9:51 pm

Wife and I are just now recovering from Teddy’s appearance. Amazing to see a person who is a historical bridge between our Hopey and Jack, Bobby, and MLK. Even more amazing to see this moment finish up with a crap cover of an Orleans song.

echoman2000 August 25, 2008 at 9:51 pm

michelle would have to eat nancy pelosi alive while doing a fire dance at this point to grab a headline tomorrow.

SayItWithWookies August 25, 2008 at 9:52 pm

[re=69116]echoman2000[/re]: No, that was Deuteronomy. But Kennedy was one of the first to say they shouldn’t be stoned to death.

Gopherit v2.0 August 25, 2008 at 9:52 pm

[re=69066]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: How did you sit through that?

Gopherit v2.0 August 25, 2008 at 9:53 pm

[re=69118]jagorev[/re]: If obama picked “Sweet Caroline” to introduce Caroine then he doesn’t deserve to win.

smellyal8r August 25, 2008 at 9:54 pm

The Bitterz continue their desperate efforts to get Hillary’s name in nomination and do what they can to wreck the whole coronation. If anyone would have tried this in 1992 they would have had a size 9 stiletto heel stuck in the back of their heads. Lady MacBeth is in her Denver penthouse rolling her pearl earrings in her hand with one eye cocked to the crystal ball that shows Michelle getting ready to speak…

SayItWithWookies August 25, 2008 at 9:54 pm

I take it nothing is getting done in Chicago this week, as the entire city government appears to be here. Or maybe something IS getting done in Chicago this week…

echoman2000 August 25, 2008 at 9:54 pm

WORST. MUSIC. FOR. CONVENTION. EVER.

SayItWithWookies August 25, 2008 at 9:55 pm

Is it wrong to hope they stop mentioning god and faith — so I don’t die of alcohol poisoning?

WonkaBee August 25, 2008 at 9:57 pm

hold the phone!! I just GOT IT !!!!!

This music is not lame …. it’s Hiltarded!! What a stroke of genius to work unity at this subconscious level. If they had cool music the bitters would feel more out of place.

Bring on the schlock!

SayItWithWookies August 25, 2008 at 9:58 pm

Wow — Why is Tom Harkin in drag? Hell, his signer looks better dressed than — oh — sorry.

DoctorCulturae August 25, 2008 at 9:58 pm

Matthews’ hair is about to take to flight.

wheelie August 25, 2008 at 9:59 pm

Worst. Emmys. Ever.

jagorev August 25, 2008 at 10:00 pm

Why is Tom Harkin mocking disabled people?

loquaciousmusic August 25, 2008 at 10:01 pm

Oooh, I’m here. I had to catch up with my “Law & Order: CI.” That Vincent D’Onofrio is quite a catch!

This Republican is KIND OF BORING.

DoctorCulturae August 25, 2008 at 10:01 pm

[re=69131]WonkaBee[/re]: Precisely. Just like Bidens bad hair. If it was too cool it’d be ‘elitist.’ It’s fine with me if it’s the Cheeeze Convention.

jagorev August 25, 2008 at 10:01 pm
SayItWithWookies August 25, 2008 at 10:01 pm

Holy crap — a Republican congressman! Did anyone know this was coming? And apparently he’s the love child of Bill Moyers and Captain Kangaroo. Still, I’m stunned.

WonkaBee August 25, 2008 at 10:03 pm

Michelle, ma belle… done by 101 Strings? Mantovani? thhe Longine Symphonette?

loquaciousmusic August 25, 2008 at 10:03 pm

Is anyone else watching high def CNN with that “Sound from the Floor” graphic equalizer thingy on the left-hand side? Because, apparently, this convention is being run by D.J. Shadow and Q-bert.

DoctorCulturae August 25, 2008 at 10:04 pm

[re=69124]smellyal8r[/re]: Is it possible the real rub is between Michelle & Hilz?

CivicHoliday August 25, 2008 at 10:04 pm

[re=69139]jagorev[/re]: You gotta figure some people will try. But we just have to hope our law enforcement and secret service can get to these nutballs before they do any harm

AngryBlakGuy August 25, 2008 at 10:04 pm

[re=69122]Gopherit v2.0[/re]: …more examples of people who through the advancement in technology are able stay a step ahead of Dawinism.

jagorev August 25, 2008 at 10:05 pm

This is the best Republican we could get? What about Colin Powell, or Susan Eisenhower? Come on!

smellyal8r August 25, 2008 at 10:06 pm

[re=69140]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Yes, CNN just ‘splained it all. “Remember, Zell Miller spoke at the GOP convention in 2004 and Joe Lieberman is expected to speak in St. Paul…” I would have hoped for someone other than Leach, but well…there you go…

SayItWithWookies August 25, 2008 at 10:07 pm

Wow — this is amazing. The Democrats are actually making the argument that they’re more truly conservative than the Republicans. This would be awesome if it peeled away that side of the Republican base. Jim Leach — that’s gonna be an interesting story tomorrow.

smellyal8r August 25, 2008 at 10:08 pm

[re=69143]loquaciousmusic[/re]: Yes and it just seems to bounce in the same range. It’s probably a brain wave monitor for A Cooper.

echoman2000 August 25, 2008 at 10:08 pm

i’m on a mexican radio…

anabellum August 25, 2008 at 10:08 pm

[re=69140]SayItWithWookies[/re]: i expect more of this as the election gets closer…but then im the one who has to report to a mental health facility early tomorrow morning……

Toonces August 25, 2008 at 10:09 pm

Will somebody please back me up that Jim Leach (the repub) guy sounds EXACTLY like Kermit the frog????

WonkaBee August 25, 2008 at 10:10 pm

[re=69138]DoctorCulturae[/re]: hairplugs are your new bicycle

jagorev August 25, 2008 at 10:10 pm

How about Chuck Hagel? We could have had him rip Bush/McCain a new one over the Iraq war, and Hagel, like him or not, has way more juice than this Leach character.

SayItWithWookies August 25, 2008 at 10:11 pm

[re=69139]jagorev[/re]: Oh lordy.

Gopherit v2.0 August 25, 2008 at 10:11 pm

Get ‘em, Rachel! Spank Buchannan like the bad little bitch he is.

echoman2000 August 25, 2008 at 10:12 pm

do i drink the warm beer watching leach, or save it for michelle? i’ve got some $2 tequila that i was saving for a “final exit”. this might be it.

DoctorCulturae August 25, 2008 at 10:12 pm

[re=69139]jagorev[/re]: uuuuhhhh…. I just puked a little. Hopey is such a threat to the wingnuts on so many levels… Wonder when the MSM is going to run with this.

wheelie August 25, 2008 at 10:12 pm

“My sisters like to chat, so text Change to 66262 and get talking to them now.”

JeffGoldblum August 25, 2008 at 10:12 pm

McCaskill’s daughters are good ’nuff fer a poke.

WonkaBee August 25, 2008 at 10:12 pm

It’s Amy Pohlert !!!

and those 3 Aryan Youth were her kids

jagorev August 25, 2008 at 10:14 pm

Why is Claire McCaskill’s son trying to get me to text his mom?

anabellum August 25, 2008 at 10:14 pm

*gags*….how many cliches can McCaskill string together?…

JeffGoldblum August 25, 2008 at 10:15 pm

“That’s Barack Obamas story and its vaguely muslim…”

jagorev August 25, 2008 at 10:15 pm

Missour-eee? Is that how the elitist part of the state pronounces it?

Oscar Folsom Cleveland August 25, 2008 at 10:15 pm

[re=68947]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: 10!

LeopoldBittersStotch August 25, 2008 at 10:16 pm

David Brooks’s tie has teh gay.

smellyal8r August 25, 2008 at 10:16 pm

[re=69160]echoman2000[/re]: You’re gonna want that beer for Michelle…just take a swig each time she says “Barak and the girls” and it’ll be gone in the first 10 mins. Then, hit the hard stuff when her husband teleports in through a satellite feed (like the Brady Bunch opening credits)

jagorev August 25, 2008 at 10:17 pm

This speech was hacked together by her son in about 20 minutes, right? Please tell me she didn’t actually come up with this shit.

I really like McCaskill, I thought she was an awesome advocate for Obama during the primaries, she’s great when she’s spontaneous. But this is shit.

Cicada August 25, 2008 at 10:18 pm

[re=69139]jagorev[/re]: Wow. That Tharin Gatrell is quite the looker. Why is it that motarded wingnuts all look as stupid as they are?

Gah.

CivicHoliday August 25, 2008 at 10:18 pm

[re=69169]jagorev[/re]: Dude! Only bitters call it Missour-uh!

JeffGoldblum August 25, 2008 at 10:18 pm

White women love Barry.

Gopherit v2.0 August 25, 2008 at 10:19 pm

[re=69172]LeopoldBittersStotch[/re]: it’s not the tie.

jagorev August 25, 2008 at 10:19 pm

“In America we come from different places. But we come together for… [something about dreams]. That’s why it’s not my dream or your dream but our dream.”

I wrote better than that in fifth grade.

DoctorCulturae August 25, 2008 at 10:19 pm

[re=69149]smellyal8r[/re]: Here’s the first part of Butt-belch ZellMiller in 04. Everything he said clearly marks him an utter fool, like watching a very old silent movie.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C_t_9d8L70U

The Hispanic Buddy Holly August 25, 2008 at 10:19 pm

[re=69159]Gopherit v2.0[/re]: I saw that! She just crushed him!

AngryBlakGuy August 25, 2008 at 10:20 pm

[re=69158]SayItWithWookies[/re]: [re=69161]DoctorCulturae[/re]: …by the end of this Barry will set a record for the most foiled assassination attempts by a public official(outside of Russia or Zimbabwe).

MrAgro August 25, 2008 at 10:20 pm

Who is this Terrible Crazy Reverend that Olbermann is interviewing on MSNBC right now?

JeffGoldblum August 25, 2008 at 10:20 pm

OH!! SHE SAMPLED THE PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE!!! HIT THAT!!

echoman2000 August 25, 2008 at 10:20 pm

is her brother gay?

SkimLatteModerate August 25, 2008 at 10:22 pm

Can you at least pretend you’re not reading off the teleprompter? Like occasionally glance off into the audience once and awhile?

smellyal8r August 25, 2008 at 10:22 pm

The Michelle video is running…I’ll bet his name was “Barry Obama” and he was out back smoking a cigarette when he first started at Dewey, Cheatam and Howe or where ever she was working.

echoman2000 August 25, 2008 at 10:22 pm

no jerri curls…yet.

JeffGoldblum August 25, 2008 at 10:22 pm

“And it was ’round that time I said to myself… ‘Michelle, you’re gona let him get some’”

jagorev August 25, 2008 at 10:23 pm

Psst… DNC? The “One Nation” signs are a little bit, uh, how do you say this, Nazi-like. It might not help you in Florida, is what I’m saying.

NotNotLickingToads August 25, 2008 at 10:23 pm

Is anyone watching the CNN coverage? Instead of a word of McAskill’s speech, we get 30 minutes of pundits freaking out that the convention hasn’t been 100% consisted mash-up of Republican destruction and unicorns toting rainbows to this point.

Jesus fucking christ, shut your goddamned yappers and quit panning the convention!

echoman2000 August 25, 2008 at 10:23 pm

and they have white non muslim friends. who knew?

chaseychasem August 25, 2008 at 10:23 pm

SOUTH SIDE GIRL, NORTH SIDE SASS!

chaseychasem August 25, 2008 at 10:25 pm

[re=69182]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: seriously, I don’t think I can watch on Thursday. accepting in a stadium? I’m flipping out already.

Sharif DelMonte August 25, 2008 at 10:25 pm

I think its important to remember that Michelle Obama is smarter than her husband. She’s also more charming. I can already picture her and VP Biden discussing policy while Barry does shirtless pushups in the corner.

echoman2000 August 25, 2008 at 10:25 pm

her “movie” is better than teddi’s. very oprah. but there’s that subliminal hillitard music floating oh so gently underneath. creeeeepy. can’t we just stop the muscic?

JeffGoldblum August 25, 2008 at 10:26 pm

“I am a fucking legend.” -Michelle Obama

MrAgro August 25, 2008 at 10:26 pm

Craig is so very gay.

SayItWithWookies August 25, 2008 at 10:27 pm

Aaargh — insulin!

WonkaBee August 25, 2008 at 10:27 pm

the pic of michelle and her bro on their folks’ laps took my snark away for the 2nd time tonight

jagorev August 25, 2008 at 10:28 pm

Okay, Michelle is cute beyond words. I will personally lead the attempt to impeach Barry if he ever cheats on her.

bitchincamaro August 25, 2008 at 10:29 pm

are real people live-bloggin this bitch?

echoman2000 August 25, 2008 at 10:29 pm

again…is he gay…michelle’s brother? just wondering.

chaseychasem August 25, 2008 at 10:29 pm

[re=69200]MrAgro[/re]: agreed.

MrAgro August 25, 2008 at 10:30 pm

What is that dude in the crowd yelling every minute or so?

jagorev August 25, 2008 at 10:30 pm

[re=69200]MrAgro[/re]: He is married with two kids.

SayItWithWookies August 25, 2008 at 10:30 pm

CNN’s streaming the plot announcement.

gliberal August 25, 2008 at 10:30 pm

That was probably the last time Bob got any. If you don’t count the handjob he got from Barbara Walters.

jagorev August 25, 2008 at 10:32 pm

Jesus, it’s like a man can’t even wear a shiny orange tie anymore without someone calling him gay.

bitchincamaro August 25, 2008 at 10:32 pm

Craig’s first love is teaching and coaching. OK, gay he is. But he shouted “go, beavers!” proving he is pro-pussy. I am confused no longer.

Gopherit v2.0 August 25, 2008 at 10:32 pm

Go Beavers! indeed.

echoman2000 August 25, 2008 at 10:32 pm

okay…it’s showtime!

MrAgro August 25, 2008 at 10:33 pm

[re=69210]jagorev[/re]: Married with two kids and gay.

Dear Michelle Nobama please do not screw this up TYIA.

Sharif DelMonte August 25, 2008 at 10:33 pm

Craig just said “go beavers” on television. Everybody do a shot.

DoctorCulturae August 25, 2008 at 10:33 pm

more bad intro music…ugh.

echoman2000 August 25, 2008 at 10:33 pm

white stevie wonder arrangement. priceless.

chaseychasem August 25, 2008 at 10:34 pm

[re=69215]jagorev[/re]: nah. only straight men wear shiny orange ties, generally speaking.

bitchincamaro August 25, 2008 at 10:34 pm

please stop the heaven references. please.

Jingo August 25, 2008 at 10:34 pm

Bob Schieffer gets laid at his first convention. His daughter gets laid at her first convention. How much you wanna bet his grandson takes an immediate interest in politics when he hits puberty?

I’m currently trying to get some liberal tail myself. Being a fan of cougars, I was excited to hear that PUMAS would abound at this convention, thinking that this was the new term for hot, middle-aged, horny women. Imagine my surprise when I found that unlike the animal world, pumas are more closely related to leathery, chain-smoking kimodo dragons than sleek, tawny wildcats. They should call themselves LIZARDs: Like-minded Irate Zealots Against Real Democracy, to avoid confusion.

Gopherit v2.0 August 25, 2008 at 10:34 pm

[re=69215]jagorev[/re]: Hey, Bill clinton pulled it off…..I wish I could find that picture.

echoman2000 August 25, 2008 at 10:34 pm

hmmmm….warm beer.

DoctorCulturae August 25, 2008 at 10:35 pm

rock it michelle.

Cicada August 25, 2008 at 10:35 pm

Thank Gawd they didn’t go with “Michelle, Ma Belle”.

“I Was Made To Love Her” -Yay!

bitchincamaro August 25, 2008 at 10:35 pm

pull out the motherfuckin flamethrowers and get this revolution finally started.

smellyal8r August 25, 2008 at 10:35 pm

Well, thank God we never had to hear any of this from Terezza Heinz Kerry, the Exotic Catholic. She probably would have been lowered from the rafters on a giant cloud of money.

As to her OPRAH movie, maybe the Great One herself should have brought her out: Michelle Obammmmmaaaaa.

Blurg. I know this is going to be painful to watch. Is that a turquoise sun on her turquoise top? Though, I gotta say it: I love her hair.

Gopherit v2.0 August 25, 2008 at 10:35 pm

Goddamn…..Biden looks like he as Tan in a Can.

jagorev August 25, 2008 at 10:36 pm

She is truly beautiful, the first beautiful political wife I can remember.

Cicada August 25, 2008 at 10:36 pm

[re=69223]DoctorCulturae[/re]: What’s your beef with Stevie Wonder? “I Was Made To Love Her” is fricking great!

Gopherit v2.0 August 25, 2008 at 10:37 pm

Damn. She’s going to make me cry.

DoctorCulturae August 25, 2008 at 10:37 pm

Michelle is softer. Narrative’s working for me.

JeffGoldblum August 25, 2008 at 10:37 pm

I thought this convention was supposed to be about politics

bitchincamaro August 25, 2008 at 10:38 pm

she said “shtruggled” just they say it in Brooklyn! But she Chi-town.

echoman2000 August 25, 2008 at 10:38 pm

more warm beer….fuzzy time.

DoctorCulturae August 25, 2008 at 10:38 pm

Thank you M: walk the walk & talk the talk, unlike a certain other former contender who shall remain nameless.

bitchincamaro August 25, 2008 at 10:38 pm

“wall shrtreet”

S.Luggo August 25, 2008 at 10:39 pm

[re=69080]jagorev[/re]:
In Viet Nam, Kerry was awarded 3 Purple Hearts, a Bronze Star and a Silver Star, but was asshole enough to believe that these merited battle awards would be beyond public doubt. Once Swift-boated, he should have hit back hard. He didn’t. (E.g., “On what barstool did GWB serve?”) Obama must learn from this and smack take-no-prisoners back. But alas, I fear that Hopey, too cerebral, can’t. (E.g., “Why does the RNC fear uppity, educated Negros? Big Tent far too small?”)
Four more years.
S.Luggo

Cicada August 25, 2008 at 10:39 pm

[re=69240]Gopherit v2.0[/re]: That would fit with the hair plugz. I can’t wait to see if he gets Botox for the debates.

SayItWithWookies August 25, 2008 at 10:39 pm

“You treat people with respect even if you don’t know them?!”
Honey, that’s un-American. You waterboard them until they confess to something. Sheesh.

The Hispanic Buddy Holly August 25, 2008 at 10:39 pm

[re=69224]echoman2000[/re]: When Michelle Obama came to Las Cruces, NM and I went to hear her speak they used the originals. It was like a party with great, old r’n'b music! Everybody was dancing while waiting for her to come out. These arraingements tonight are the anti-cool.

bitchincamaro August 25, 2008 at 10:39 pm

Sly and family stone reference!

JeffGoldblum August 25, 2008 at 10:40 pm

A little piece of Michelle’s soul dies every time she says “folks”

bitchincamaro August 25, 2008 at 10:40 pm

“shtrength”.

echoman2000 August 25, 2008 at 10:40 pm

she is smarter, and fresher and she’s can’t fight the funk. l love her!

Gopherit v2.0 August 25, 2008 at 10:41 pm

[re=69242]jagorev[/re]: The bitters are going to find you and fuck you up.

smellyal8r August 25, 2008 at 10:42 pm

Bitterz shout out! Cracks! Cleaning up the streets!

bitchincamaro August 25, 2008 at 10:43 pm

oh, oh, she said Clinton and cracks in the same paragraph.

Gopherit v2.0 August 25, 2008 at 10:43 pm

She’s making me believe. Why the hell can’t she be the Veep?

Dammit…..now she’s on to Hillary.

wheelie August 25, 2008 at 10:43 pm
JeffGoldblum August 25, 2008 at 10:43 pm

Oh crap she said it…

SayItWithWookies August 25, 2008 at 10:43 pm

“People like Hillary Clinton”
Did I just feel a disturbance in the force? As though millions of hard working American women just creamed?

echoman2000 August 25, 2008 at 10:44 pm

clintons had fleetwood mac. why can’t obama have gnarls barkley or something?

Gopherit v2.0 August 25, 2008 at 10:45 pm

Let McCain’s plastic-assed cunt-trollop beat this.

Cynics shouldn’t cry. I’ll blame it on the alcohol.

Ken Layne August 25, 2008 at 10:46 pm
bitchincamaro August 25, 2008 at 10:46 pm

[re=69254]S.Luggo[/re]: I, for one, do not welcome 4 more years, but I think Barry is too fucking soft and best cook up some whoop ass before November.

smellyal8r August 25, 2008 at 10:47 pm

She’s a helluva lot better speaker than the incumbent First Lady, who, while well read, sounds like a Stepford wife at an Amway party.

Maybe they’ll play Hopey on with “I Will Survive” tonite…how ’bout that echoman?

anabellum August 25, 2008 at 10:49 pm

dayum….Michelle is good…

CivicHoliday August 25, 2008 at 10:53 pm

She has the cadence of a beat poet. Wonder if she did some open mikes back in her college days?

Sharif DelMonte August 25, 2008 at 10:54 pm

Great speech, semi awkward trainwreck live patch in. Michelle Obama is cool!

The Hispanic Buddy Holly August 25, 2008 at 10:54 pm

Great family or the greatest family?

RuperttheBear August 25, 2008 at 11:08 pm

SCROLL DOWN AND POST ON THE NICE INTERN JULI’S (IF THAT IS HER REAL NAME) POST, YAH BITCHES.

chaseychasem August 25, 2008 at 11:13 pm

[re=69293]Gopherit v2.0[/re]: sources say she’s actually a plastic-cunted ass-trollop.

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