DNC Hotel Shocker: Wooden Key Cards Suck

The downtown Sheraton in Denver was handing out WOODEN key cards, made of WOOD, as part of the Democrats' secret plan to embarrass themselves in front of the nation with their deliriously impractical solutions to such urgent problems as America's overreliance on plastic hotel key cards. Of course these wooden key cards did not work right and clerks had to give people plastic cards so that they could actually get into their rooms. Next thing you know, we will be hearing that the DNC-endorsed woven hemp condoms for local courtesans weren't such a hot idea either. [ New York Sun ]