• May 25, 2012

Lame Bumper Sticker Means Evan Bayh Is Vice President Now

by Jim Newell  

Today has been so fun! In the last however many hours, Tim Kaine, Chet Edwards and Bill Nelson have all been named Barack Obama’s vice president! And now Evan Bayh will DEFINITELY UNDOUBTEDLY get his turn as vice president, because of a PRESCIENT BUMPER STICKER: “KMBC’s Micheal Mahoney reported that the company, which specializes in political literature, has been printing Obama-Bayh material. That’s Bayh as in U.S. Sen. Evan Bayh of Indiana. Word leaked out about the material as it was being printed up by Gill Studios of Lenexa. The Obama campaign had said it would make the announcement by text message on Friday.” And Gill Studios wouldn’t deny it, so, well, you know! But this sticker doesn’t look very Barry-ish. For one, his name is in a RED background, and more importantly, stylish Barry would never stoop to the uncouth level of a serif font. Look at those ugly serifs! Evan Bayh is nothing. UPDATE: Oh no nevermind, he does use that serif font. Evan Bayh is the second black vice president of the United States. [KMBC]

{ 98 comments }

cal August 22, 2008 at 6:27 pm

Bayh sucks, but he’s kinda attractive, so that’s probably all that matters.

In fact, he’s the Mitt Romney of the left.

Gregory_of_Nazianzus August 22, 2008 at 6:28 pm

BOOOOO

Gregory_of_Nazianzus August 22, 2008 at 6:28 pm

[re=66984]cal[/re]: He’s nothing of the left.

Dave J. August 22, 2008 at 6:29 pm

It looks lame, but when you’ve got like 2 hours to design a bumper sticker that MUST be on-hand tomorrow when he does the appearance with the VP thing, you just slap some ugly shit together and then bust out the better stuff next week. This is “bumper sticker on a deadline” design.

tunamelt August 22, 2008 at 6:29 pm

I refuse to believe this is an authentic bumper sticker. It’s too ugly.

PeteJayhawk v2.0 August 22, 2008 at 6:29 pm

Kansas, motherfuckers. Kansas.

Thassright.

Delicious August 22, 2008 at 6:30 pm

If it is Bayh, Obama has FAILED on his text message scheme and he is not ready to lead.

NotUrEvryDayWEzl August 22, 2008 at 6:30 pm

It sounds like the name of a new TV show like “The O.C.” or “Dawson’s Creek”… “Obama Bayh”on the CW

tunamelt August 22, 2008 at 6:30 pm

Look at this. The colors are all wrong and everything.

NotUrEvryDayWEzl August 22, 2008 at 6:30 pm

[re=66989]tunamelt[/re]: Facebook has better.

Dave J. August 22, 2008 at 6:31 pm

However, it would be a perfect metaphor if the very first thing the Obama campaign produced after choosing Bayh looked like shit and repulsed a huge number of supporters.

shortsshortsshorts August 22, 2008 at 6:32 pm

ES WONKETTE BROKED?

The formatting is all cRAZy!

tunamelt August 22, 2008 at 6:33 pm

[re=66995]NotUrEvryDayWEzl[/re]: You looked hotter online.

defeatism August 22, 2008 at 6:34 pm

Obama/Bayh? So ghey.

trophy(forparticipation)wife August 22, 2008 at 6:35 pm

I’m a skeptic. I think that it’s like the Super Bowl. They print championship t-shirts for each team before the game. Someone is trying to be the quickdraw.

I hope.

cal August 22, 2008 at 6:35 pm

Actually that little star in the “08″ really bugs me.

Hopey wouldn’t do that to us.

tunamelt August 22, 2008 at 6:35 pm

Where is the little apostrophe before the “0?”

mitchmurphy August 22, 2008 at 6:35 pm

dear god of all things boring, don’t let it be evan bayh

tunamelt August 22, 2008 at 6:36 pm

…and does anyone think they couldn’t figure out a way to stick the website on there? Because they put the website on everything, goddammit.

Outstando August 22, 2008 at 6:37 pm

I think it’s the printer getting his fifteen minutes.

joezoo August 22, 2008 at 6:38 pm

Turns out that ‘bumper sticker’ is just a frozen rubber gorilla suit.

Dave J. August 22, 2008 at 6:38 pm

[re=67003]trophy(forparticipation)wife[/re]: Next year the only place you’ll be able to find Obama/Bayh stickers is on taxis in Nigeria or something, just like those “19-0″ Patriots shirts.

Larry Fine August 22, 2008 at 6:38 pm

Bayh attends a Mosque in Indiannapolis.

trophy(forparticipation)wife August 22, 2008 at 6:38 pm

Obama / Bayh stuff has been around for a while. Apparently some people like the idea.

http://buttons.cafepress.com/item/obama-bayh-president-vp-225quot-button/295859988

Whiskeybaby August 22, 2008 at 6:39 pm

I can imagine the lame Bye-Bye Obama jokes now. (Wiki tells me Bayh’s name is pronounced like that).

Dave J. August 22, 2008 at 6:40 pm

[re=67009]Outstando[/re]: I’m starting to think that as well. Hopey’s stuff sells really well, my local paper had a huge story about how unauthorized Obama merchandise sells out of stores and whatnot, so I’m hoping this printer is just trying to jump the gun on this stuff.

Delicious August 22, 2008 at 6:40 pm

[re=67009]Outstando[/re]: Yeah, the more I think about, the more idiotic it seems. Your campaign wants something so airtight that nobody knows, except for the workforce of an entire factory in Republican Kansas?

Texan Bulldoggette August 22, 2008 at 6:40 pm

Boo frickin’ who if it’s Bayh….I’d almost rather see crazy lady Harriet Christian–at least she’s got passion. And maybe she’d find out that Barry is probably more than ‘adequate’.

trophy(forparticipation)wife August 22, 2008 at 6:41 pm
Canmon (the Inadequate) August 22, 2008 at 6:41 pm

Very safe pick. It tells me that he thinks the election is his to lose, which it should be given Bush’s unpopularity.

BayhSexual August 22, 2008 at 6:41 pm

[re=66984]cal[/re]: can’t be byah. only one attractive person per ticket otherwise it gets just too confusing.

and that bumper sticker is so insanely ugly there is no way.

FunkyPalmettoBug August 22, 2008 at 6:42 pm

There was reports of this company doing Obama/Sebalius stuff also. Ambinder made me chuckle about it with: “That Obama-Bayh bumper sticker is (a) too ugly and (b) doesn’t have a union label. It ain’t real guys”

trophy(forparticipation)wife August 22, 2008 at 6:42 pm

I call total bullshit. They have great looking stickers at Cafe Press for Obama / everyone.

El Bombastico August 22, 2008 at 6:43 pm

Ambinder’s other goofy notion is more persuasive. This executive NetJets charter currently on its way from Chicago to Delaware:

http://flightaware.com/live/flight/EJA863

TGY August 22, 2008 at 6:43 pm

This is like the Dance of the Seven Veils, only there’s really only one veil and it takes FOREVER to get it off.

tunamelt August 22, 2008 at 6:43 pm

[re=67019]trophy(forparticipation)wife[/re]: Holy fuck, that is one star-happy sticker.

Voyou Charmant August 22, 2008 at 6:43 pm

My Source, CafePress, confirms that every imaginable choice has been chosen. All with equally ugly bumper stickers.

Larry Fine August 22, 2008 at 6:45 pm

The bumper sticker can be interperted as Bye-bye Obama, or bah! Obama

SayItWithWookies August 22, 2008 at 6:45 pm

[re=67019]trophy(forparticipation)wife[/re]: Well in that case, the veep is…everybody. And check out the one in the veeery bottom right.

Texan Bulldoggette August 22, 2008 at 6:45 pm

[re=67021]BayhSexual[/re]: Yeah, that’s what Ambinder at the Atlantic says, too. One thing BO has is discipline; no way he’d let that ugly font car wreck be his official bumper sticker.

http://marcambinder.theatlantic.com/archives/2008/08/fun_with_local_tv_news_station.php

Delicious August 22, 2008 at 6:46 pm

[re=67028]Voyou Charmant[/re]: Yep. Check them all out.

http://www.cafepress.com/worldsfair/5537324

tunamelt August 22, 2008 at 6:48 pm

[re=67030]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Hahahaha. No.

Delicious August 22, 2008 at 6:48 pm

Come on, Hopey! The Unisex Pinpoint Oxford Shirt Girl is waiting for your text…

tunamelt August 22, 2008 at 6:48 pm

Well, like I said before, we’re all going to be mighty shocked when we find out it’s Jesus.

NotUrEvryDayWEzl August 22, 2008 at 6:48 pm

[re=67027]tunamelt[/re]: I count seven whore-stars.

[re=67026]TGY[/re]: Does this mean Obama is demanding John McCain’s head on a silver platter? Because that is mildly sexy/badass.

Canmon (the Inadequate) August 22, 2008 at 6:49 pm

[re=67028]Voyou Charmant[/re]: This one is my favourite: http://bumperstickers.cafepress.com/item/obama-bayh-2008-bumper-sticker/296125399

NotUrEvryDayWEzl August 22, 2008 at 6:50 pm

[re=67030]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Nice bait and switch.

Delicious August 22, 2008 at 6:51 pm

[re=67030]SayItWithWookies[/re]: That’s what I’m talking ’bout!

http://www.cafepress.com/worldsfair/4780376

tunamelt August 22, 2008 at 6:52 pm

[re=67038]Canmon (the Inadequate)[/re]: The fist-bump sticker. Hells yes.

trophy(forparticipation)wife August 22, 2008 at 6:54 pm

This is worse than a college boy’s tongue.

Not_So_Much August 22, 2008 at 6:54 pm

Smells like a red herring.

I hope he doesn’t pick another senator. A Gov would lend a little more oomph to the ticket. All senators all the time opens him up to ‘insider bizness as usual’ bullshit that he needs to spray towards the crotchety old man…

Gregory_of_Nazianzus August 22, 2008 at 6:54 pm

[re=67023]FunkyPalmettoBug[/re]: I have no idea if it’s real, but that’s a union bug in the lower right.

Delicious August 22, 2008 at 6:55 pm

[re=67038]Canmon (the Inadequate)[/re]: If I had a car, I’d get that one.

That bumper sticker has me psyched for Bayh!

trophy(forparticipation)wife August 22, 2008 at 6:55 pm

Enough already!

bmannes August 22, 2008 at 6:59 pm

The Obama campaign would never allow this bumper sticker to be released without his precious pms blue 7977 and O logo. It’s not branded right I tells ya!

FunkyPalmettoBug August 22, 2008 at 7:01 pm

[re=67045]Gregory_of_Nazianzus[/re]: Good point, but it still looks weak.

For what its worth, there’s a charter flight going from Chicago to Delaware also, and its my understanding that the word in Austin is that Chet Edwards is the choice.

Delicious August 22, 2008 at 7:02 pm

It’s official, Fox News says that bumper sticker is too ugly for Hopey. And Ambinder is tracking a charter jet from Chicago to Delaware.

http://flightaware.com/live/flight/EJA863

bup August 22, 2008 at 7:04 pm

How the hell does a WASP from Indiana get a last name like ‘Bayh’ pronounced ‘Bye’? That last name alone makes him too elitist.

Voyou Charmant August 22, 2008 at 7:09 pm

Breaking: According to CafePresstards Obama is also several peoples VeePee. OMG!

dave666 August 22, 2008 at 7:13 pm

BUMPER STICKERS NEVER LIE

dave666 August 22, 2008 at 7:14 pm

I brake for unicorns

Gopherit v2.0 August 22, 2008 at 7:17 pm

[re=67053]Delicious[/re]: Ooooo…..Biden, perchance?

Oscar Folsom Cleveland August 22, 2008 at 7:17 pm

Yawn. Duuuuude, just waking up here on the Left Coast. What’s the good news, is Barry prez yet? McCain, did he finally keel over in paroxysms of anger and memory loss?

Whew…time for some Java and a toke before diving into Wonkette. Peace.

cal August 22, 2008 at 7:18 pm

[re=67052]FunkyPalmettoBug[/re]: Chet Whonow?

trophy(forparticipation)wife August 22, 2008 at 7:20 pm

Even the hope-notized BarackObama.com bloggers are getting pissy about the wait.

trophy(forparticipation)wife August 22, 2008 at 7:22 pm

Bi-den! Bi-den!

FunkyPalmettoBug August 22, 2008 at 7:28 pm

[re=67061]cal[/re]: Congressman for Waco, midland and Crawford Texas.

Delicious August 22, 2008 at 7:34 pm

[re=67063]trophy(forparticipation)wife[/re]: Touchdown in New Castle.

Gregory_of_Nazianzus August 22, 2008 at 7:38 pm

[re=67052]FunkyPalmettoBug[/re]: Yeah, I’m in my home state of Texas right now and we’re pretty excited about the Edwards possibility. Anyone who can one-up Tom Delay in Bush’s backyard deserves to be on our national ticket.

irisheyes August 22, 2008 at 7:38 pm

I’m feeling an 8 o’clock text. East coasters are in prime time and West coasters are just cracking open a cold one.

tunamelt August 22, 2008 at 7:39 pm

[re=67070]Delicious[/re]: This is getting so ridiculous.

tunamelt August 22, 2008 at 7:45 pm
Voyou Charmant August 22, 2008 at 7:45 pm

It’s like the night before Christmas, only with no presents and the general sense that once the surprise is revealed it’ll sort of be a let down.

tunamelt August 22, 2008 at 7:46 pm

[re=67076]Voyou Charmant[/re]: So it’s like Christmas with an alcoholic parent?

Delicious August 22, 2008 at 7:47 pm

[re=67075]tunamelt[/re]: I’ve been Barackrolled!

Yeah, this is ridiculous. This is way too much buildup for anyone but Hillz.

irisheyes August 22, 2008 at 7:48 pm

I never expected that spending a day online with complete strangers could be such fun!

tunamelt August 22, 2008 at 7:48 pm

every time I get a text I jump

Gopherit v2.0 August 22, 2008 at 7:50 pm

I usually hate the guys at Somthing Awful, but they sent a pizza to Biden’s house to make the lame web coverage there less boring. It almost worked.

tunamelt August 22, 2008 at 7:50 pm

my F5 key is going to break

Delicious August 22, 2008 at 7:52 pm

Maybe the text will come at 3 a.m.

And it will be from Hillary announcing that Obama has been disappeared…uh, she meant disappeared.

iwillsavethispatient August 22, 2008 at 7:53 pm

He’s picking Time Magazine’s Man of the Year – “You”. There’s going to be a huge scandal when he realises that I’m not allowed to be Veep on two constitutional reasons.

tunamelt August 22, 2008 at 7:53 pm

[re=67081]Gopherit v2.0[/re]: was it sausage?

FunkyPalmettoBug August 22, 2008 at 7:54 pm

[re=67071]Gregory_of_Nazianzus[/re]: I’ve heard from 3 people in Austin that Edwards is the pick. I’m waiting for the text however.

Voyou Charmant August 22, 2008 at 7:54 pm

[re=67081]Gopherit v2.0[/re]: psh, SA is my jam — next to Wonkette, obvs.

JeffGoldblum August 22, 2008 at 7:55 pm

He’s waiting until rush hour on the west coast so he can kill us all when we got to read the text while driving. Asshole.

tunamelt August 22, 2008 at 7:57 pm
tunamelt August 22, 2008 at 7:58 pm

Apparently it will be a 3 am text.

Gopherit v2.0 August 22, 2008 at 7:59 pm

[re=67088]Voyou Charmant[/re]: I would say it’s too juvenile at SA for me……but I post here. Maybe it’s just easier to keep up here.

Anyway, my hat is off to the pizza guy.
[re=67086]tunamelt[/re]:

You know, they never said. One commenter said it was probably topped with Hope.

El Bombastico August 22, 2008 at 7:59 pm

They’ll wait for Slick Joe to be in the air (or at least on the way to the airport) before the text.

JeffGoldblum August 22, 2008 at 8:00 pm

Fuck this, I’m leaving work.

$5 on Lieberman.

Chuck Fildren August 22, 2008 at 8:03 pm

Bayh and Kaine have been told its not them.

It’s totally going to be alexandra dupre

tunamelt August 22, 2008 at 8:03 pm

I’ve been clicking this because my phone is slow to receive texts.

jerryw August 22, 2008 at 8:09 pm

Dahli Lama for Veep.

Bumper sticker: Obama/Lama/O8
Can’t get a smoother read than that!

Jerry w
http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com

sweetits August 22, 2008 at 8:13 pm

as if anyone cares… word os Walnutz! will pick Mittens. I wonder if http://www.walnutzmittens.com is parked?

jagorev August 22, 2008 at 8:30 pm

[re=67118]sweetits[/re]: I just grabbed http://www.walnutsmittens.com

Thanks for the idea!

Chuck Fildren August 22, 2008 at 8:38 pm

[re=67139]jagorev[/re]: You use that site! and use that well. Make it something nice. Maybe a nice photo of walnuts and mittens hooking up to have hot gay sex all over a pile of truck nutz and whore diamonds. classy.

ReverendGreen August 22, 2008 at 8:42 pm

My guess – if word leaked about who his VP was, they’d send the texts so that us Internet nerds don’t all read about it beforehand.

Larry McAwful August 22, 2008 at 9:44 pm

Looks like McCain is going with Condi Rice as his vice president:

http://bumperstickers.cafepress.com/item/mccain-rice-2008-sticker-bumper/251266862

You sure can learn a lot from bumper stickers that are on sale!

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