Wonkette
Tree-destroying imperial corporation Hallmark recently decided to start selling same-sex wedding cards, because that’s something you can do in all of two (2) states now. In other words, the Hallmark company has just literally taken a piss on Jesus Christ’s tomb thingy. And guess who’s upset, yes, that’s correct, the mouth-breathing Fundies at the American Family Association, whose recent “Boycott McDonald’s” initiative produced some of the finest comedy in the history of the Internet. They have a petition site up now directed at Hallmark. “BoycottHallmark.com” doesn’t currently exist, but the AFA has bought the domain name and when it launches, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE GOD let there be a comments section. [AFA, Examiner, Think Progress]
This boycott brought to you by Manhunt.com.
http://www.BoycottTheAFA.com taken?
I always knew the McRib was a homosexual gay plot.
So, fat people won’t be sending cheesy get well cards for the cardiac arrests then?
Gewd fer dem. I all ways knuu those Hallmark cards wer totolie gay!
I don’t eat at McDonald’s or shop at Hallmark - does this mean I have to start? I don’t like burgers or Precious Moments figurines, but if I can help promote the homosexual gay agenda by making out with 16-year old McDonald’s employees, then, I feel I will have done my part.
AhAHAHahahA, Hallmark. BWahahAHahAHahaaa. I tell you, once corporate America understands how much money there is to be made out of this, same-sex marriage legislation with go through lickety-split (or whatever) in all states.
And then there’s divorce.
“when you care enough to send the very best.” But promoting same-sex marriage for profit is not the very best for families or our nation.
Larry Craig will be so disappointed, as will Ted Haggard, and so many other Republicans.
The reception for the
LIEBERMAN/GRAHAM
wedding
is in the Tiki Room.
Oh my God, but how can they boycott these cards. I feel like they are the key demo for this.
In those same sex marrigae things, isn’t one person the man and one the woman anyway?
Please, PLEASE let someone on the site leave their real address again so we can send them a few of these cards.
AnnieGetYourFun: Did you see Hallmark’s new Precious Moments line, including the classic “First Reach-Around”?
AnnieGetYourFun: Or perhaps, have a precious moment with a hallmark lady person…
…just like the Christian right; homosexuality should never be presented, spoken of or addressed in modern society! Instead it should be ignored until your pastor is caught having sex with 3 men while snorting meth out of the butt crack of your 13 year choir boy son!
tunamelt: They only start the “flopping” once you’ve been fat AND lost it…most of the boycotters haven’t reached that crucial second stage.
Next up, they will boycott the Unisex Pinpoint Oxford Shirt, for making them feel confused about things.
Does Hallmark make any cards for commitment-free same-sex rendezvous in airport bathrooms?
AngryBlakGuy: Imagine the condolence card made for THAT…
“But promoting same-sex marriage for profit is not the very best for families or our nation.”
By this logic Hallmark also promotes illness, death and miscellaneous sad times. Fucking sick perverts.
TGY: Didn’t you hear? This whole gay agenda same-sex marriage thing is really just a trumped up way for divorce lawyers to make a buck. Conservative blog commenters told me and it is true.
Obama names Va. Gov. Kaine as running mate - WSJ
Bloomberg says WSJ says Tim Kaine is Barack Obama’s VP.
trophy(forparticipation)wife: Link?
AnnieGetYourFun: I can’t wait for all the sexy new valentine’s day cards. Why go on one date when you can send a nice greeting card invite to a good ol’ buttsex party?
hoax email, I think. I give up.
trophy(forparticipation)wife: Don’t DO that.
trophy(forparticipation)wife: Obama names Tim Kaine as new mate - gay card I just received.
If you go to the homepage of American Family Association, sponsoring this boycott, and follow the links to “healing from sexual sin and homosexuality,” you’ll find links such orgs as “Americans for Truth.” Once you pass page 2, you can almost feel the fundies beating off. So graphic, I can’t give link.
Dave J.: They should also boycott rainbows because rainbows were put here by Satan to deceive us.
http://www.politico.com/blogs/bensmith/0808/A_Kaine_ripple.html?showall
AngryBlakGuy: Dear ____________, please accept this McDonald’s gift certificate in sincere apologies for what you thought you saw, when in fact it was just nude wrestling practice with your son serving as referee, we do not have the buttsecks because we are republicans.
Sincerely,
Cletus.
AnnieGetYourFun: Sorry mami.
Next up, they will boycott teddy bears, because, just think about it, America. Teddy=Kennedy, and bears=Andrew Sullivan.
And the work never ceases. This is sad/hilarious: http://www.businessreform.com/article.php?articleID=11076&ofid=2. Apparently, Exxon, Radio Shack and Perot Systems (among others) still hate the gays, thank goodness.
It’s so un-American to boycott gay-loving McDonald’s and Hallmark. What are they going to boycott next, porn? Moving to fucking Russia you freaks.
TGY: ‘lickety-split’ would be the lesbian marriages. ‘fast as greased lightning’ would be the male version.
shortsshortsshorts: Goddammit, I always knew there was something funny about Skittles, and that Lucky Charms leprechaun, too.
Outstando: They should probably boycott their churches….. *hint hint*
Outstando: They definitely boycott gay porn. They usually have to watch the DVDs 15-20 times each to make sure they are as bad as they had heard.
NotUrEvryDayWEzl: ooooh buttsex parties! but we have to go get sum mcnuggits furst.
BayhSexual: Get me some honey mustard would ya sweetie?
When will these fine Americans understand that COMMERCE trumps MORALS any day of the week?
Welcome to consumer nation. Get in line.
I’ll bet the same-sex cards are funnier and sport better designs. The gays get all the good stuff!
(A)ME(rica)N (Family) ASS(ociation)
BOY(cott)
I’m seeing a pattern.
sanantonerose: They are much better shoppers.
They should also boycott John McCain. AbbA is the gayest band ever.
freakishlystrong: …hehe, P.S. May I suggest the Big Mac, that special sauce is finger licking good!
loudmouthredhead: …maybe you can bring their son a gift instead?
http://i166.photobucket.com/albums/u83/jst8761/gy/g0310.jpg
So, they are also promoting all of these candidates: http://www.hallmark.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/article|10001|10051|/HallmarkSite/Humor/GCS_HUMOR_PARTY
greatgooglymoogly: That list of the anti-gay companies is so funny. My favorite is:
“6. Shaw Industries Inc. (a subsidiary of Berkshire Hathaway Inc.)
Industry: Textile manufacturing
Why We Picked Them: They’ve done nothing, to the best of our knowledge, to support the GLBT cause in any significant way.”
Ooooooh, but what is Shaw Industries Inc. doing secretly that they aren’t telling you? Don’t ask, don’t tell.
So that’s why tropical storm Fay is hanging around Florida.
God is upset with Hallmark and wants to drown some people in Florida..
I hear when the authorities checked the Madrid airline crash, they found
a Hallmark same-sex card amongst the charred remains.
Now it makes sense to me. Gay people get god so pissed off all the time
that he mobilizes his minions to boycotting action.
I can’t wait for the ads on the Hallmark Channel.
The boy named Joyce started the empire.
Joyce C. Hall was a preacher’s son, named for a bishop in his father’s church, one Isaac Joyce.
trophy(forparticipation)wife: Oh no! McDonalds ad’s on the Hallmark Channel? Just thinking about it makes me want to have the buttsecks.
“To Our Beloved Grandson, We’re Sorry to Hear About Your State’s Lack of Values, And Your Rejection of the Teachings of the Lord, But We Love You Anyway. We Guess.”
I BELONG TO A CHURCH OF THIRTY MILLION SOULS WITH A FAMED PASTOR AND HIS LOVELY WIFE. WE USED TO STOP AT MICKEY DEE’S AFTER SERVICES - EVER’ SINGLE DAY - BUT SADLY DO NOT DARKEN THAT DOOR NO MORE. NOW WE AND OUR CONGEGATION WILL NO MORE BIRTHDAY CARDS AND CHRISTENING AND WEDDIN’ CARDS A’SEND. INSTEAD WE WILL BOYCOTT HALLMERCK AND SEND OUR MESSAGES BY WESTERN ONIION. TO HEL,L WITH TEH GAYZ AND THE OSAMA PLATFORM OF HEQUAL RIGHTS FOR LESBOS ABD PREVERTS. HELLO NO!
praise jeebus n’ pass the maynonaisse
http://saddleback.com/flash/believe.html
You may now fist the bride.
Larry Fine: It depends on the day of the week. Good couples alternate. Sundays are, of course, the Day of Rest, generally spent feasting on the McEucharist under the Smiling Visage of the Clown and Pearly Ga — um, Golden Arches.
tonashideska: Don’t you think that should be Crist/Graham? I mean Joey does have a Mrs., but in Lyndsey & Charlie, you have two free-wheeling bachelors who’ve been looking for Mrs. Right for about 30 years now. And seriously, if Joe can get a woman to look at him naked, I’m sure Lyndsey & Charlie could have if they really tried.
Aren’t McDonalds burgers made of 100% analangus beef?
greatgooglymoogly: Teh gays would never shop at Radio Shack.
I was waiting for Wonkette to post this. Does that mean that Chuck Norris will take Walker, Texas Ranger off the Hallmark Channel?
AmericanValues: It is now!
pinko-commie: Yes. It’s the toe-toe, cheek-to-cheek, double reach-around series designed by GWB’s personal pastor Ted Haggard, with help from Beelzebub and the RNC “Big Tent” committee (Bob Allen, Chairman, so to speak).
These will go on the card rack right next to “Good luck with your colonoscopy” and “Heard you’re a hooker!”
Oscar Folsom Cleveland: “WE USED TO STOP AT MICKEY DEE’S AFTER SERVICES.”
First mistake. The grease on your both hands from the Super=Sized fries is substitute for K-Y. Yeoouch. The wife must love it rough in a very Christian sorta way.
Boycott is the twink version of Manhunt.
The Incomparable Tiny Valdez: I love it. LOL!
This is all greek to me.
Clerical point of order! To the fundies, it’s OK to piss on Jesus’ grave. After a three-day waiting period under Roman Law, Jesus is no longer there.