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SUSPENSE

Well it's a bloody mary morning ...HMMM: “Type http://www.obamanelson.com into your browser and see what happens.” Sen. Ben Nelson of Nebraska? Willie Nelson of Austin? Hair-metal twins Nelson? Or maybe something semi-logical, like Sen. Bill Nelson of Florida?


2:21 PM on Fri August 22 2008
By Ken Layne
5724 Views

  1. paolaccio says at 2:24 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    I’m still pulling for Gunnar and Matthew.

  2. Canmon (the Inadequate) says at 2:25 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    Judd.

  3. Walter Sobchak says at 2:25 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    Fuck yeah! Willie could totally kick Biden’s ass.

  4. AngryBlakGuy says at 2:25 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    …Bill Nelson from Florida?

  5. Major Anthony Nelson?

  6. Doglessliberal says at 2:26 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    Maybe Sen. Ben Nelson? And how did you come to type that into your broswer, hm?

  7. BayhSexual says at 2:26 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    Yay!

  8. loquaciousmusic says at 2:27 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    Oh shit. Sen. Ben Nelson is da bomb.

  9. shortsshortsshorts says at 2:28 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    Type in google.co instead of .com and you get a very similar website persuading you to purchase cialis and other useless item things.

  10. That would make me happy.

  11. freakishlystrong says at 2:29 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    Nelson Mandela?

  12. Doglessliberal says at 2:29 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    AngryBlakGuy: holy cow, that would be a left-field pick. Very interesting. He is liberalish, whereas Ben Nelson is conservative and pro-life (and Nebraska not that big a prize).

  13. Lascauxcaveman says at 2:29 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    OMG! OMFG! Must credit Caveman! Look what you get with http://www.obamabiden.com/ !

  14. FalconerHK says at 2:29 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    Charles Nelson Riley.

  15. SayItWithWookies says at 2:30 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    Whereas typing ObamaHorse-in-ditch.com yields nothing. Dang.

  16. The Incomparable Tiny Valdez says at 2:30 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    Ozzie Nelson?

  17. Deepthroat says at 2:30 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    Muntz?

  18. freakishlystrong says at 2:30 pm, August 22nd, 2008
  19. tunamelt says at 2:31 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    Lascauxcaveman: Look what happens when you type:
    http://obamamccain.com/

  20. BigBrainOnBrad says at 2:31 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    Nelson from the Simpsons? “Ha-ha”.

  21. seekingamid says at 2:32 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    whois information on obamanelson.com:

    Registrant:
    joe chan
    1156 commonwealth ave
    apt 47
    allston, Massachusetts 02134
    United States

    Registered through: GoDaddy.com, Inc. (http://www.godaddy.com)
    Domain Name: OBAMANELSON.COM
    Created on: 13-Jul-07
    Expires on: 13-Jul-09
    Last Updated on: 07-May-08

    Administrative Contact:
    chan, joe joechan24@yahoo.com
    1156 commonwealth ave
    apt 47
    allston, Massachusetts 02134
    United States
    (617) 271-6092

    Technical Contact:
    chan, joe joechan24@yahoo.com
    1156 commonwealth ave
    apt 47
    allston, Massachusetts 02134
    United States
    (617) 271-6092

  22. tunamelt says at 2:32 pm, August 22nd, 2008
  23. AngryBlakGuy says at 2:32 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    …anyone with last name Nelson is a FAIL! Don’t make me angry Barry, you wont like me when I’m ANGRY!!!

  24. Lascauxcaveman says at 2:32 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    Which brings up an interesting point, if they were ‘the guy,’ you don’t think you’d find the domains obamabiden, obamasebelius, obamabayh, obamanapolitano, obamaguiliani, etc, still floating around up for grabs on the net.

  25. freakishlystrong says at 2:32 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    This is like being Rickrolled…

  26. Doglessliberal says at 2:33 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    Lascauxcaveman: have you tried the others? Obamaedwards, ObamaKaine, etc?

  27. Strictly for the Tardcore says at 2:33 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    Artist Nelson DeCastro?

  28. Darehead says at 2:33 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    Willie or Willie not?

    Toby or not Toby?

    Chet, or Notchet?

    Joe, or Nojoe?

  29. CrunchyKnee says at 2:33 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    Nelson Muntz? Ha-hah.

  30. Serolf Divad says at 2:34 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    You want to see a landslide? Run an Obama / (Willie) Nelson ticket and watch 1/2 of the South’s pot smocking rednecks vote for the ticket that promises to legalize weed. John McCain would be lucky to get Arizona.

  31. Doglessliberal says at 2:34 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    AngryBlakGuy: You don’t like your Senator?

  32. itgetter says at 2:34 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    From Wikipedia: “[Bill] Nelson was reelected as Senator on November 7, 2006 with 60 percent of the vote. His victory is the largest margin by a Democratic candidate in the state in many years.”

    Putting FL in play seems smart.

  33. edgydrifter says at 2:35 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    Interesting–no such redirect happens with Richardson, Edwards, Clark, Kaine, Clinton or even Paul. Methinks you have stumbled onto something you were not meant to see, Mr. Layne.

  34. AngryBlakGuy says at 2:35 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    …Nelson the bully from the “Simpson’s”?

  35. Obama - Kaine = O.K.
    Obama - Nelson = O.N.
    As a bumper sticker manufacturer I approve either of these choices.

  36. tunamelt says at 2:36 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    Okay, but look what happens when you type this in, people:

    http://www.obamajesus.com

  37. anabellum says at 2:37 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    from the Orlando Sentinel a few days ago….”One loyal reader noted that the website http://www.ObamaNelson.com actually takes you directly to the Obama campaign website — whereas adding the names of other rumored VP contenders to Obama’s name (ObamaRichardson, ObamaBiden, etc.) takes you to squatter sites.

    The Obama campaign isn’t talking — about the site or any aspect of the running-mate selection process — but said I wasn’t the first to ask about it. And the man to whom the ObamaNelson site is registered told the Delaware News Journal that he was simply hoping to make some money out of it and doesn’t work for any campaign or party.”

    http://blogs.orlandosentinel.com/news_local_namesblog/2008/08/obama–nelson.html

  38. obfuscator says at 2:37 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    paolaccio: I prefer their sister Tracy. Mmmm… The Father Dowling Mysteries… sexy nuns.

  39. tunamelt says at 2:37 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    Horatio Nelson!

  40. MargeSimpsonsBlackFriend says at 2:38 pm, August 22nd, 2008
  41. Lascauxcaveman says at 2:38 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    tunamelt: Doglessliberal: I have to say, the Obama veepstakes are turning out to be a lot funner than I ever would have imagined possible. It’s going to be a letdown no matter who he picks after trading japes, yuks and mindless speculation with the Wonkette gang.

    I hearts me some Wonkette commenters.

    Group hug, everybody!

  42. Serolf Divad says at 2:38 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    meanwhile http://www.obamabiden.com is parked.

  43. rev_matt_y says at 2:39 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    It’s clearly Nelson Rockefeller.

  44. AngryBlakGuy says at 2:39 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    Doglessliberal: …no, I actually like the guy! But after floating Biden’s name around for 3 weeks it kinda anti-climatic don’t you think? If he is going to pick someone other than Biden it better be a fukkin blockbuster Democratic super-star!!!

  45. Doglessliberal says at 2:39 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    Lascauxcaveman: back at you, totally.

  46. Cogito Ergo Bibo says at 2:40 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    Doglessliberal: There’s some serious domain squatting going on. Look at the list of what’s been taken out of the running, here. http://www.politics2008.com/

  47. tunamelt says at 2:40 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    Lascauxcaveman: He’s picking Jesus, yo. Seriously.

  48. “Bill Nelson, as a pilot HE Didn’t crash”
    I love it!!!

  49. edgydrifter says at 2:41 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    AngryBlakGuy: Or maybe Admiral Lord Nelson who crushed the Islamofascists at the Battle of Gallipoli. Hopey needs a solid war hero on his ticket to pull the flag-wavers.

  50. The Real JR Revisted says at 2:41 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    <img src=”http://i67.photobucket.com/albums/h302/Bupptized/NelsonTwins.jpg”

  51. jagorev says at 2:42 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    Admiral Horatio Nelson? Why, McCain has had a grudge against him ever since Nelson took his girlfriend, back when they were in college together.

  52. paolaccio says at 2:42 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    tunamelt: Holy crap.

  53. shortsshortsshorts says at 2:43 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    Gaylord Nelson would be awesome. He was pretty damn cool, and dead.

    Lascauxcaveman: I have SARS.

  54. itgetter says at 2:43 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    Hmmm… I just looked into this Ben Nelson fellow and he seems to fit the parts of Obama’s description. Nelson was able to cut Nebraska’s spending, balance the budget, and leave the governorship with a huge surplus. Also, he’s insanely popular in his state, he’s been both a senator and a governor.

    AND he beat out the lady governor during his first run, which Hopey’s got to relate to.

  55. Doglessliberal says at 2:44 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    AngryBlakGuy: but it would get him FL, and Nelson is pretty liberal (whatever that means these days), thus he could calm down some of those who think Barry is a traitor for taking compromise positions to get things done.

    But who the hell knows?!

  56. tunamelt says at 2:46 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    paolaccio: No, seriously, what the eff is that?

  57. I just looked into this Ben Nelson fellow and he seems to fit the parts of Obama’s description. Nelson was able to cut Nebraska’s spending, balance the budget, and leave the governorship with a huge surplus. Also, he’s insanely popular in his state, he’s been both a senator and a governor.

    But it’s Nebraska. Junior Samples is insanely popular in Nebraska.

  58. jagorev says at 2:48 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    itgetter: John McCain also has lots of experience of beating ladies.

  59. ericipedia says at 2:48 pm, August 22nd, 2008
  60. MargeSimpsonsBlackFriend says at 2:49 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    The longer he waits and the more hype that builds, the more it makes me think he’s going to pick Clinton. Blech.

  61. AngryBlakGuy says at 2:49 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    …just to cover all my bases!

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nelson_(surname)

  62. AnnieGetYourFun says at 2:50 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    tunamelt: The fuck?

  63. Dairy Queen says at 2:50 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    Lascauxcaveman: what is your problem? you need a life

  64. DoctorCulturae says at 2:52 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    You mean Major Tony Nelson from Cocoa Beach FL with the rockin’ blond partner?

    http://www.imdb.com/media/rm1719375872/tt0058815

  65. Deepthroat says at 2:52 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    itgetter: I was just thinking that too. Doesn’t he kinda look like a hybrid of Bob Eubanks, Bob Barker, and Gene Rayburn… he’s like the Super game show host mutation! But seriously, he’s kinda a nobody but it could be a smart move. He took down Tits McGee in FL too!

  66. greatgooglymoogly says at 2:53 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    Uhhh …

    Nelson Bunker Hunt?
    A. Full Nelson?
    The Flying Nelsons http://www.libcoop.net/mountclemens/nelsons.htm (all of them)?
    Lord Admiral Horatio Nelson?
    Byron Nelson?
    Judd Nelson?

    I’m out.

  67. AngryBlakGuy says at 2:54 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    Doglessliberal: …dont believe the hype about Florida,Im fairly sure that this state is going blue this year.

  68. I’m just amazed that he had the foresight to register barebackobama.com

  69. Darehead says at 2:58 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    shortsshortsshorts: Gaylord? Obama-Deadbody 2008!

  70. shortsshortsshorts says at 2:58 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    AngryBlakGuy: And still, John McCain will win it.

  71. freakishlystrong says at 3:00 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    AngryBlakGuy: I have YET to see a McCain bumper sticker, seen a few Obama’s, on like, hippie vans and shit, but I’m with you, mebbe FL. is done with thinning the herd?

  72. Outstando says at 3:04 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    Roger Clemens. The strategy is to continually bean Lieberman during the debates.

  73. Buffy and Hildegard says at 3:05 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    freakishlystrong: I hadn’t seen a McCain sticker either — until yesterday — in Dallas. It was a black sticker on a black car. What kind of idiot ruins the paint job on his bumper with a sticker you cannot even see?

  74. MoonshineJoe says at 3:06 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    Obama-Bismark v. Mccain-Lord Adm. Nelson?

    Okay, I’ll admit I just like Bismark…

  75. AfghanVet says at 3:06 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    Charles NELSON Reilly

    Also dead…but nutty!

  76. Canmon (the Inadequate) says at 3:07 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    Craig T.

    Why not? If Fred Thompson can be taken seriously then he can be. Plus, he was able to survive the Poltergeist curse.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Poltergeist_Curse

  77. MoonshineJoe says at 3:08 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    MoonshineJoe: Bismarck I should say.

  78. Darehead: Dead guys are perfect as vice president. Nobody can STFU better.

  79. tunamelt says at 3:08 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    AnnieGetYourFun: Yeah, but nothing happens if you use Allah. So obviously….

  80. Darehead says at 3:08 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    News about the Wonkette fake TXT MSG is going all around the world.

  81. superfecta says at 3:08 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    Really? No one has done this?

    http://who.godaddy.com/WhoIs.aspx?domain=obamanelson.com&prog_id=godaddy

    Registrant:
    joe chan
    1156 commonwealth ave
    apt 47
    allston, Massachusetts 02134
    United States

    Registered through: GoDaddy.com, Inc. (http://www.godaddy.com)
    Domain Name: OBAMANELSON.COM
    Created on: 13-Jul-07
    Expires on: 13-Jul-09
    Last Updated on: 07-May-08

    Administrative Contact:
    chan, joe joechan24@yahoo.com
    1156 commonwealth ave
    apt 47
    allston, Massachusetts 02134
    United States
    (617) 271-6092

  82. AfghanVet says at 3:08 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    Half NELSON?

    or the more provocative and hard to achieve…

    Full NELSON?

  83. AngryBlakGuy says at 3:09 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    shortsshortsshorts: …nah, we managed to teach the corpses in Palm Beach how to use a voting machine.

    freakishlystrong: …down hear in south Florida I have seen plenty of Obama stickers and maybe 1 or 2 WALNUTS! stickers. Im really waiting until the yard signs come out, I think that would give me a better (unscientific)barometer.

  84. DoctorCulturae says at 3:09 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    There is no rush, except for the MSM to fill their quotas. The longer he waits the more attention he’ll get anyway through the weekend, the less time the RNC has to prep a smear campaign before the Dem convention. In fact, the more attention he’ll get to talk about the Houses that Jack Built & anything else he wants to highlight. At this point, why not wait? Everyone is eating out of his hand. Hopey is the man and we’re not!

  85. Cogito Ergo Bibo says at 3:09 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    I”m fine with Judd Nelson, if we can have the 1980’s “Breakfast Club”/”St. Elmo’s Fire” Nelson. At least there would be an awesome soundtrack.

  86. grendel says at 3:09 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    AnnieGetYourFun: That’s Google Apps… they just have the domain parked, basically

  87. liquiddaddy says at 3:11 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    Admiral Lord Nelson is a great choice for Denver because his corpse is packed in a brandy barrel. ARRGH! BTW, I think he beat the islamofacists at Trafalgar.

  88. Walter Sobchak: While feeding beer to his horses, even.

  89. itgetter says at 3:12 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    superfecta: Well dammit all to heck.

  90. Lascauxcaveman says at 3:12 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    Dairy Queen: HA! That is the last think I need.

    shortsshortsshorts: And I have fleas + halitosis. Nobody’s perfect.

  91. superfecta: Well, no one but seekingamid and, oh, about a million other people who didn’t feel the need to after that.

  92. magic titty says at 3:14 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    tunamelt: awesome.

  93. paolaccio says at 3:15 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    superfecta: I’m right down the street from there, I’ll go knock on his door and ask him what the fuck.

  94. grendel says at 3:15 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    DoctorCulturae: liquiddaddy: I think that was the French…

  95. Whiskeybaby says at 3:15 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    tunamelt: I seem to have lost my Obamajesus username and password…could you kindly send me a reminder email? Thx.
    Someone smart with the internets totally has to get into that thing!!

  96. freakishlystrong says at 3:17 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    Buffy and Hildegard: Ummm..anyone voting for WALNUTS!?

  97. pdiddycornchips says at 3:19 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    Hopey is going to lose his core constituency soon. Taunting your sycophantic friends in the press with this shit will eventually piss them off. Everyone except Maddow and Olbermann that is. If he does pick Hilz, my thoughts turn to Bill Richardson. He was angling to be Secretary of State but if Hilz is the VP, he’ll end up Ambassador to Papua New Guinea.

  98. AngryBlakGuy says at 3:21 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    …Nell(Carters)son?

  99. obfuscator says at 3:23 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    MANDELA

  100. Voyou Charmant says at 3:24 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    I do not, at all, like Bill Nelson.

    That being said, if this is his choice, it is a very smart one.

  101. tunamelt says at 3:24 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    Whiskeybaby: # Sign in with a different account
    If you don’t have a Obamajesus.com account, no problem.

    * You may be able to sign in with an account outside Obamajesus.com.
    * You can create a Google Account.

  102. tunamelt says at 3:25 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    Whois Record

    Registrant:
    Domains by Proxy, Inc.
    DomainsByProxy.com
    15111 N. Hayden Rd., Ste 160, PMB 353
    Scottsdale, Arizona 85260
    United States

    Domain Name: OBAMAJESUS.COM
    Created on: 05-Aug-08
    Expires on: 05-Aug-09
    Last Updated on: 05-Aug-08

    Administrative Contact:
    Private, Registration
    Domains by Proxy, Inc.
    DomainsByProxy.com
    15111 N. Hayden Rd., Ste 160, PMB 353
    Scottsdale, Arizona 85260
    United States
    (480) 624-2599 Fax — (480) 624-2598

    Technical Contact:
    Private, Registration
    Domains by Proxy, Inc.
    DomainsByProxy.com
    15111 N. Hayden Rd., Ste 160, PMB 353
    Scottsdale, Arizona 85260
    United States
    (480) 624-2599 Fax — (480) 624-2598

    Domain servers in listed order:
    NS47.DOMAINCONTROL.COM
    NS48.DOMAINCONTROL.COM

  103. trophy(forparticipation)wife says at 3:26 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    The identical fair-haired musical genius Celebrity Fit Club 3 celebrity beauties, Matthew and Gunnar TheNelsons?

  104. Delicious says at 3:28 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    All these stupid short-listers waiting by the phone hoping their “boyfriend” picks them.

  105. AnnieGetYourFun says at 3:28 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    But I HAVE a Google account and it doesnt work. Shit, now he has my password.

    Also, I JUST GOT AN EMAIL FROM OBAMA’S CAMPAIGN!!!!1

    Apparently, John McCain doesn’t know how many houses he owns? Well, that was fucking news to me.

  106. paolaccio says at 3:29 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    trophy(forparticipation)wife: I can’t live (without your love and affection)!

  107. superfecta says at 3:29 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    MattW: Wrong! Tunamelt did!

    Clearly neither of us does more than skim. We must be elitists.

  108. Texan Bulldoggette says at 3:30 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    Canmon (the Inadequate): Err…actually Craig T. is one of the ‘A-list Hollwooders’ going to Walnuts fundraiser during the Democratic convention. (Along with Robert Duvall, Jon ‘I’m insane’ Voight, & some other lamo’s I can’t remember. Heck, I don’t even think Chuckles Norris has peeled himself away from the Huckster yet.)

  109. tunamelt says at 3:33 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    superfecta: I did the whois for obamajesus.com

  110. Whiskeybaby says at 3:34 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    tunamelt: What if the host turns out to be…GOD!!!!

  111. jagorev says at 3:34 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    AngryBlakGuy: Going by yard signs, Ron Paul should be chief Jesus commander of the United States by now.

  112. DoctorCulturae says at 3:35 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    I’m still wondering if the RNC or someone else is planning a news dump for this afternoon in anticipation of it covered in VP.

  113. grendel says at 3:35 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    I’m getting all jittery at this point… just announce already before I have an ulcer!

  114. iwillsavethispatient says at 3:35 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    Lets face it, it’s after lunchtime (even on the West coaat) and it’s Friday. We won’t be hearing an announcement until Monday now: everybody’s too drunk to watch the news until then.

  115. Voyou Charmant says at 3:37 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    http://www.obamaisblack.com totally works. So. We’ve confirmed that much.

  116. AnnieGetYourFun says at 3:38 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    tunamelt: Dude, Scottsdale? Yeah, that’s not suspicious AT ALL. I can’t wait to see how this unfolds.

  117. Clittle says at 3:38 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    For “fun” type in http://www.obamabiden.org (not com). Sorry, no porn, but I am dizzy from confusion so that’s a plus.

  118. SayItWithWookies says at 3:38 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    O/T but since our beloved editors are on their way to Idiot National, has anyone seen this exchange of letters between Hopey and McNasty? It’s a little — um — mean on one person’s part:
    http://obama.senate.gov/letter/060206-sen_obama_and_sen_mccain_exchange_letters_on_ethics_reform/

  119. freakishlystrong: I gotta go with FS here, Nelson Mandela’s 27 years in prison makes McWingnut’s 5.5 seem like a warm up act.
    Hey, can a brother get a hookup sure takes on a new meaning with this ticket.

    But, for sheer sound of the ticket I’d go for the Dahli Lama…..
    Obama/Lama anyone?
    Jerry w
    http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com

  120. The Brothman Prophecy says at 3:40 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    Prince’s last name is Nelson. Minnesota’s a lock.

  121. DoctorCulturae says at 3:40 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    Sludgyreport is running the story he probably would have run had Hopey named a VP saying Hilz was dissed. Guess he chose to run it even though she might still get the pick: pwned.

  122. tunamelt says at 3:41 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    AnnieGetYourFun: Yeah, I saw Scottsdale and was like… I wonder if I inadvertently will uncover some vast conspiracy, all because I felt like typing in some snarky remark on Wonkette.

  123. Darehead says at 3:41 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    Look at this stupid article; they actually take us seee-weee-uss-ly*

    The Wonkette blog says that Barack Obama’s vice presidential running mate is going to be Senator Hillary Clinton. Wonkette offered a possible conversation between Obama and those on the other end of one of those phone calls made on Thursday. “‘Sorry bro you are not the one.”‘(He says “bro” every time because his running mate will be Hillary Clinton.)”
    http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/975600/obamas_vice_president_media_frenzy.html

  124. tunamelt says at 3:42 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    SayItWithWookies: Someone should repost those here.

  125. AnnieGetYourFun says at 3:43 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    SayItWithWookies: Is that… is that thing real?

  126. ugh…can we please have another news story already? It’s been what, 86 minutes?????

  127. AnnieGetYourFun says at 3:48 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    tunamelt: That would be the best thing ever. Also, since it seems like the whole world is starting to believe that Wonkette posts actual information, it would be timely. I hate to think of what will happen once the editors quit eating whiskey for breakfast and end up covering REAL news, but, thems the breaks, I guess.

  128. greatgooglymoogly says at 3:48 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    AnnieGetYourFun: I hope so. That is some funny stuff.

  129. Blow Up Speaker Doll says at 3:49 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    As much as I would appreciate Nelson (Bill, Ricky, whatever), it’s crap. Now it’s redirecting to MSNBC. All you’re doing is getting Joe Chan some bucks from google ads.

  130. KevoTron says at 3:50 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    Okay, the 12 o’clock PST lunch hour is now unwinding. I think that means no veep announcement until at least 6 o’clock EST today or tomorrow mid-day at the latest.

    God this week’s news is fucking strange. I’m waiting patiently to see if my BFF Barry texts me who he has a crush on and reading innumerable stories about some crotchety old guy who forgot where he lives.

  131. Cogito Ergo Bibo says at 3:50 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    I think I’m going to go over and watch the JibJab vid again. At least it has a unicorn.

  132. KevoTron says at 3:51 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    N8Ma: This thread needs a fork stuck in it real soon. I’m about to take a walk around the block and stop in the bar for a quickie.

  133. trophy(forparticipation)wife says at 3:51 pm, August 22nd, 2008
  134. Darehead says at 3:53 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    N8Ma: We ARE the news story. Waiting for Obama is #1 on GoogleNews.

  135. tunamelt says at 3:53 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    But I understand how important the opportunity to lead your party’s effort to exploit this issue must seem to a freshman Senator, and I hold no hard feelings over your earlier disingenuousness. Again, I have been around long enough to appreciate that in politics the public interest isn’t always a priority for every one of us.

    Ooh, burn.

    AnnieGetYourFun: Wonkette Investigative Journalism division.

  136. Strictly for the Tardcore says at 3:56 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    SayItWithWookies: Um… holy shit. WALNUTS! is a fucking douchebag.

    Walnuts! seems to use many, many words when just a few would do. In this instance, he could have just said, “You aren’t doing what I say, so you’re a partisan hack and should go eat a dick.” There! All the information he wanted to convey, but now it’s EFFICIENT!

  137. AnnieGetYourFun says at 3:59 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    trophy(forparticipation)wife: SIGH.

    “Americans are making it sound as if being a Muslim is a crime. Most Americans do even know ANYTHING about Muslims or Islam, the religion Muslims follow.”

    How can we expect Americans to choose a President when they do even know anything?

  138. trophy(forparticipation)wife says at 3:59 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    Can we have a contest, time of announcement and veep?

  139. Platypus says at 4:00 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    Lord Nelson as VEEP would not hesitate to crush McCain and his zombie followers through the vigorous application of grape shot across the stern. Of course the citizenship thing could be a complication.

  140. S.Luggo says at 4:02 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    AngryBlakGuy: My vote: Nelson’s Syndrome.

    Or Nelson Riddle.

  141. SayItWithWookies says at 4:03 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    AnnieGetYourFun: Yep — Hopey attended McCain’s private brainstorming meeting and the next day Obama decided to support the official Democratic bill. To give McCain more credit than he probably deserves, he was probably stung by the insinuation that going outside official Senate channels was just a delaying tactic. But that would be reading a lot into the subtext. I think it’s just McCain being his normal bitchy self.

    Credit where credit is due, I got the ref from this Timothy Noah piece in Slate yesterday.

  142. However, it appears the domain is privately owned by a Joe Chan of Allston, MA.

    http://www.networksolutions.com/whois/results.jsp?domain=obamanelson.com

    Now it links to MSNBC

  143. Larry Fine says at 4:04 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    Platypus: and imagine the parties they would have, with all the nancy-boys in their cute sailor outfits.

  144. Delicious says at 4:04 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    Just announce the old bag - the old bag being Hillary, as if - and be done with it.

  145. freakishlystrong says at 4:04 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    SayItWithWookies: McMean is Voldermort to Obama’s Harry…

  146. Sussemilch says at 4:06 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    I love the unsolicited sites like obamacarter.com and obamaclark.com. My favorite one so far is obamacheney.com.

  147. freakishlystrong says at 4:07 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    jerryw: Or should he pick his wife it could be:
    Obama/BabyMama ‘08…

  148. Voyou Charmant says at 4:08 pm, August 22nd, 2008
  149. AnnieGetYourFun says at 4:10 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    freakishlystrong: Obama’s hairy what?

  150. mookworthjwilson says at 4:11 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    Obama/Borgnine ‘08

  151. itgetter says at 4:11 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    trophy(forparticipation)wife: Tomorrow, 11:03 am. Do we win TruckNutz?

  152. BobLoblawLawBlog says at 4:12 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    Dairy Queen: If there’s life outside Wonkette commenting, I don’t want to know about it. Unless there’s ice cream.

  153. mr.november says at 4:13 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    What is this tantric veep watch?

  154. mookworthjwilson says at 4:13 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    Voyou Charmant: How does one go about getting those “priviledges”?

  155. freakishlystrong says at 4:13 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    Why, his hairy potter of course!

  156. SayItWithWookies says at 4:16 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    Strictly for the Tardcore: The whole first paragraph is a beautiful example of why you should never send a letter that you’ve written while angry — but the concluding two sentences are a beautiful combo of convolution and passive-aggression:

    I’m embarrassed to admit that after all these years in politics I failed to interpret your previous assurances as typical rhetorical gloss routinely used in politics to make self-interested partisan posturing appear more noble. Again, sorry for the confusion, but please be assured I won’t make the same mistake again.

  157. loquaciousmusic says at 4:18 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    I left my Blackberry at home and went out for an hour — ONE WHOLE HOUR WITHOUT MY CRACKBERRY — and still nothing?!

    Fuck you, Barry! I’m voting McCain.

  158. Lionel Hutz Esq. says at 4:19 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    I’m all in favor of Mike Nelson, but only if Crow can be Secretary of Defense and Servo Secretary of State.

    S.Luggo: I don’t know. I always thought the Obama Presidency would have a smokey Jazz soundtrack, not big band/standards.

  159. SayItWithWookies says at 4:20 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    freakishlystrong: He kinda reminds me of the monk who eats the poisoned book in The Name of the Rose.

  160. Cogito Ergo Bibo says at 4:20 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    SayItWithWookies: That. Is. AWESOME. “I’m sorry I didn’t realize that you’re such an idiot. My bad!” Jeeze. WALNUTS! really does take passive-aggressive to lofty new heights.

  161. Rickish says at 4:22 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    trophy(forparticipation)wife: Sunday, 12pm Eastern, Biden. Book it, done.

  162. whiteasasheet says at 4:22 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    Ok, I slept for an hour and a half and not only has NOTHING HAPPENED IN WHOLE FUCKING WORLD, our editors are obviously out drinking as there have been no new posts is over TWO HOURS. Thank god it’s Friday and I can go play now.

  163. freakishlystrong says at 4:26 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    SayItWithWookies: He kinda reminds me of an old, rabid dog, but the Name of the Rose is a lofty reference indeed!

  164. pattycake says at 4:27 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    AnnieGetYourFun: tunamelt: guys, guys, I hate to burst your conspiracy theories, truly I do because they’ve been so much fun. But Domains by Proxy is a company that allows you to host your website anonymously so that people can’t search the whois database and find out what sicko would even think of hosting McCainLovesBlackCock.com .

    Oo! oo! I just thought of a great business opportunity.

  165. 120 MINUTES since the last Wonkette update?!?!?!?!

    If I have to continue to work ’til 5pm this Friday, so do you.

    Can’t you do a story about the Gary Coleman VP rumors? They exist, you know…

  166. Cogito Ergo Bibo says at 4:28 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    Okay, if he doesn’t announce soon, how am I going to know who my fellow Dems in the office are? I need to find my people, dammit!

  167. voidifaltered says at 4:30 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    I’ve passed the time waiting for Barry’s txt designing bumper stickers that say “Obama: One House, One Spouse!”

  168. AnnieGetYourFun says at 4:33 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    pattycake: Yeah, I know, I’ve used them before. McCainSucksBlackCock is MY site. I just liked the idea of starting some shit.

  169. SayItWithWookies says at 4:34 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    whiteasasheet: N8Ma: Relax. They’re on their way to Denver. Or getting wasted beforehand, for which I would not disparage them. Have you priced drinks on a plane recently?

  170. spraklepeapooh says at 4:35 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    arghh! The tension has been building for me ever since Tuesday evening when I heard that he might announce as early as Wednesday morning. And when I woke up this morning I was sure that there would be a special text for me. AND THERE WASN’T! Christmas has failed to come once again.

  171. Darehead says at 4:36 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    So, it’s true then? Russia pulled out of Georgia before Obama announced the veep? Or are these stories related? Maybe Putin and Barry were doing some hanky panky and made a deal?
    voidifaltered: I’d get one! But I already sold my car to pay for my corn.

  172. Darehead says at 4:41 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    spraklepeapooh: Yeah, the sun just came up where I live. And I think the original announcement was to be as early as TUESDAY morning which was postponed cuzza whatserface dyin’ and all but I mean this is too much (tune up the Carly Simon) anticipation…. or is it constipation?

  173. hatlesshead says at 4:48 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    Major Nelson from I Dream of Jeannie. He could rock Nasa so we can Wonk on Mars.

  174. SayItWithWookies says at 4:48 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    SayItWithWookies: Oops. Nevermind.

  175. spraklepeapooh says at 4:52 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    Darehead: well of course The Chosen One makes the sun come up. But I expect a lot more of him– like announcing his VP choice BEFORE they’re supposed to campaign together tomorrow.

    I may just drive to Wherever, IL for his speech tomorrow. Although it would be a day’s drive and I can’t afford the gas. Wait . . . does that mean that McCain is keeping me from my beloved? That’s it! Years ago McCain and Dubya started to orchestrate this whole gas price thing not to get richer (that part was just a bonus) but to prevent all of america from seeing and touching Barry. Aha! It all makes sense now.

  176. Cogito Ergo Bibo says at 4:55 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    That’s it. It’s drink-o’clock on a Friday afternoon. Now, if I do get the text, how will I ever remember?

  177. Outstando says at 4:55 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    grendel: Al Jittery? That’s one guy who’s definitely on the TSA body cavity search list.

  178. freakishlystrong says at 4:57 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    We’re like a bunch of kids in the backseat; “Are we there yet?”,”Are we there yet?”,”Are we there yet?”,”Are we there yet?”,”Are we there yet?”,”Are we there yet?”,”Are we there yet?”,

  179. spraklepeapooh says at 5:01 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    freakishlystrong: well . . . are we?

  180. tunamelt says at 5:04 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    pattycake: See, that just makes me even more convinced it’s all a big conspiracy.

  181. freakishlystrong says at 5:07 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    spraklepeapooh: No, Goddamit! This is cutting in to my box a wine time..

  182. edgydrifter says at 5:14 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    Lionel Hutz Esq.: AND only if they bring MST3K back into full weekly production. This Rifftrax and Cinematic Titanic bullcrap just makes me sad and sentimental for the real deal.

  183. hatlesshead says at 5:19 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    CNN wanker told big girl’s blouse Wolf Blitznoid he though Veep might be Gore. Obama/Gore?

  184. freakishlystrong says at 5:26 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    hatlesshead: “big girls blouse” is fucking brilliant, but as for Gore, no fucking way.

  185. sanantonerose says at 5:54 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    I’m gonna see Willie again this year. For my birthday! Wooooo!

    The msnbc article is floating our very own Chet Edwards. I would be in favor of that.

  186. tunamelt says at 6:02 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    freakishlystrong: I have to ask, do you slap the bag?

  187. Oscar Folsom Cleveland says at 6:07 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    Associated Press is reporting that Texas “Chet” Edwards is a “dark horse” candidate. Is this racism? Can we now retire that tired old nag of an outworn phrase, consign it to a compassionate demise?

    I think neither of the Edwards are in the running, so to speak. Rather, I think Barry is really going to surprise us with someone who will, in his words, fight him tooth and nail on every goddamn issue, questioning Barry’s judgment, patriotism, memory, fiduciary morals and even his gender identification, day after endless dayz.

    Yes, my friends, I speak of that great Merkin, a stout New Englander and Republican, and vociferous opponent of the spread of slavery, Hannibal Hamlin.

    If he was good enough for POTUS Lincoln the First, then why not Hopey POUTUS Secondus Effetus Arugula?!
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Hannibal_Hamlin,_photo_portrait_seated,_c1860-65.jpg

  188. Lascauxcaveman says at 6:55 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    sanantonerose: I’m gonna see Willie again this year. For my birthday! Wooooo!

    Geez, Rose. If you told me it was your birthday, I would have offered to show you my willie.

  189. Lascauxcaveman says at 6:56 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    sanantonerose: I guess I meant to say every good girl should get to see some willie on her b-day.

  190. kushboy says at 7:27 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    Joe Chan (registrant) takes pictures for Reuters, many of which are featured on MSNBC.com. Conspiracy deepens.

  191. tunamelt says at 7:32 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    Lascauxcaveman: Wonkette always turns into Craigslist casual encounters after a certain period of time has passed.

  192. neef2606 says at 10:38 pm, August 22nd, 2008

    so it links to msnbc, but how did Chan get it linking to Obama’s sign-up form?

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