DINGUSES  1:39 pm August 22, 2008

Mark Halperin Hasn’t Gotten Veep Scoop Yet Because He’s Too Busy Being Annoying

by Jim Newell

Hey you know who has been douchier than usual in the last couple of days is that Mark Halperin, the famous political reporter who thinks he knows everything but is always wrong. His website has all sorts of useful information — campaign press releases, teevee schedules, etc. — but also a constantly updated cycle of crap predictions. This edition of “Halperin’s Take” is the worst thing anyone has ever written about politics. And yesterday he predicted that billion-year-old Republican Sen. Dick Lugar would be Obama’s pick. WTF? And don’t forget this gay little stunt too, in which he mocks political reporters who like to spread the shit without any factual basis. Projecting much? God he is a twit. Why are we even writing about this twit? Who? [The Page, HuffPo]

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loquaciousmusic August 22, 2008 at 1:41 pm

Hehe. I just texted shortsshortsshorts that *I* was the VP nominee. So funny, still! TRUCK NUTZ FOR ALLZ!!!11!!!1

Scarab August 22, 2008 at 1:46 pm

Dear Wonkette,
Please hire an intern that knows PhotoShop. These latest images are so dark I thought they were about Al Jolson.
Thank you.

Jim Newell August 22, 2008 at 1:47 pm

[re=66513]Scarab[/re]: it’s “ambient” lighting for naked mark halperin.

irisheyes August 22, 2008 at 1:48 pm

A little something to pass 5- 6 minutes:


enjoy the hope

magic titty August 22, 2008 at 1:48 pm

What’s the point of Halperin being a fucking loser if he can’t reinforce that fact all the time? He’s just being what he’s supposed to be and nothing more.

Texan Bulldoggette August 22, 2008 at 1:48 pm

Halperin is *almost* as annoying as Tapper. Jakey Poo is an annoying asshat. He also thinks he’s hot because he diddled with Monica. At least Halperin knows he’s not getting laid by anyone the bible says doesn’t have to.

AngryBlakGuy August 22, 2008 at 1:50 pm

…he looks like the guy from “Harold and Kumar”!

Miller August 22, 2008 at 1:51 pm

He said it was probably definitely Romney, unless it was Petraeus. What more do you vultures want? Accuracy?

It’s Krang, no wait Mitt Romney. Now it’s a baseball mitt. Krang again. The German gun Lugar. KEEP REFRESHING!!


Advocatus_Diaboli August 22, 2008 at 1:57 pm

I’m pretty sure my dog Apollo could write a better blog. And wouldn’t that be sweet, Apollo hauls down the big $$ from Time, and I drink all day.

Sussemilch August 22, 2008 at 1:59 pm

He puts the ‘dic’ in ‘prediction’.

edgydrifter August 22, 2008 at 1:59 pm

“Halperin” is Portuguese for “Ferengi”

Outstando August 22, 2008 at 2:04 pm

The Note. The Page. The Douche.

SayItWithWookies August 22, 2008 at 2:04 pm

I read that fictitious VP rollout schedule and got sucked into such a void of pointlessness that four about five minutes there I thought I was Jean-Paul Sartre. Does he do fictional grocery lists too?

Scarab August 22, 2008 at 2:08 pm

All this waiting is annoying and for once the American Apparel ad isn’t masturbation-worthy. [ SIGH ]

Komando August 22, 2008 at 2:08 pm

Ummm…is Halperin wearing a karate outfit in that picture?

magic titty August 22, 2008 at 2:15 pm

[re=66558]Scarab[/re]: Well, there are feet in the 3trd photo, if you’re into that sort of thing. And you are, because it’s elitist.

SayItWithWookies August 22, 2008 at 2:22 pm

[re=66558]Scarab[/re]: I guess it takes all kinds. But whatever kind it is that prefers pale musatchioed ectomorph sandwich to the beauty that is Unisex Pinpoint Oxford Shirt gal, I don’t want to know.

twitterpaters August 22, 2008 at 2:23 pm

I’m the last twit that wants to believe it, but that Halperin twit is wrong, because there’s plenty to work with when speculating that Hillary will be our Vice Overlord nominee:


Strictly for the Tardcore August 22, 2008 at 2:24 pm

I almost thought this post was gag, or a completely overblown exaggeration, only to find out it was neither.

Halperin’s pick for WALNUTS!’s VP is probably John Edwards.

SkimLatteModerate August 22, 2008 at 3:09 pm

Meh. It’s getting late. Only reason they’d wait ’til late Friday afternoon to announce the pick is if it’s this embarassing. Halpy could be right!

BobLoblawLawBlog August 22, 2008 at 4:20 pm

God, between that fictional rollout raping my eyes and the photo of Halperin looking like he might be in a hotel bathrobe, I am just irrationally angry. Must. Not. Sodomize. Halperin. It’s. Too. Much.

pdiddycornchips August 22, 2008 at 4:30 pm

Question. What do Anne Marie Cox and Mark Halprin have in common?

They both owe their careers to ass fucking!

KittyKatMan August 22, 2008 at 6:22 pm

Only douchiest of douche bags wear robes with their names embroidered on it.

natoslug August 22, 2008 at 6:36 pm

[re=66579]SayItWithWookies[/re]: I’m just happy to see a purple ass again, even if she isn’t bending over invitingly. And no, my parents weren’t baboons.

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