Wonkette
Way back in 1990, our future president wrote an article for the Harvard Law Review about fetal rights. It asked the very important question of whether a fetus should be allowed to sue its mother for neglect, and answered the question with the long, boring legal equivalent of “Oh, brother.” Or something like that. The article was so boring that we couldn’t even bring ourselves to read the article about the article. [Politico]
I’ll second the boring.
My stepmom’s cats poop in her shower. Good work if you can get it.
I’m not reading that article either but we can talk about cats all day long.
…what is that?! A Trible?
Due to being raised by a television my attention span does not allow me to read it either. Next post please.
Oh, and did you manage to see the new “The One II” McCan’t-find-new-ideas-to-save-his-life AD?
AWKARD
This post: TL;DR
…if fetuses can sue their mother for neglect, then wouldn’t they be able to sue their fathers for sexual assault if they have sex with their mother during the pregnancy?
Wait, didn’t Sara K. Smith go to Harvard? Surely, if any of us can read this mind-numbing legal minutiae, it would be her.
How’d you get a picture of my cat?
Wow, they’re right. Politico is a homer-republican cesspool.
That article was boring as hell. Plus, it completely ignores the critical question of whether fetuses should be able to file preliminary injunctions against manufacturers who infringe upon patents that said fetuses may hold, and so prevent the product at issue from shipping until suitable licensing terms have been negotiated between all applicable parties.
AngryBlakGuy: oooh, nice one.
But while we joke, there is a movement to change the laws so that one could interpret a miscarriage as murder (she went for that hike, and fell, and so she killed her baby) or BC pills or morning after pills as the same. It is deeply scary.
Serolf Divad: what about the right of fetuses to pray in school? To own a handgun?
If fetuses could vote, Obama would win.
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Well, I’m not going to slog through a big-ass document dealing with the soul-crushing detail of whether an organism who can barely communicate and doesn’t understand the implications of Roe v. Wade, nay, doesn’t even understand the English language can sue a young lady who’s just trying to fit into a prom dress.
Bring us real gossip or pictures of awesome things, k thx bai.
I actually fell asleep reading that. Wow.
Back to the Nuri satellite coverage.
I know it’s probably tempting to immediately scroll down to the comments to get a quick gist of the tone of the article…but just don’t. It may take several weeks for my logic circuits to recover.
AngryBlakGuy: The Aristocrats!
So if a fetus deosen’t wear a flag pin, is it a librul?
freakishlystrong: it hates America and wants the terrorists to win
I like this cat. It’s like if Dick C. died & came back as a cat.
http://www.mid-day.com/news/2008/aug/200808-Yoda-four-eared-cat.htm
Doglessliberal:
To own a handgun, to Git-R-Dun…
Fetuses have a lot to do these days. Every sperm is sacred. &c.
Love the picture, SKS. Thanks.
AngryBlakGuy: What type of sex?
Obama said that fetuses can’t do a damn thing. Obama is prejudiced against fetuses.
Doglessliberal: …does this mean a woman who is pregnant can drive in the HOV lane or claim a tax deduction?
Well, as long as we’re waiting, we might as well do This
AngryBlakGuy: well, hell yeah! But, she should also buy two tickets at the movie theater.
Doglessliberal: …lol, I can just imagine how many waiters would get KNOCKED-OUT for offering “Party of two?”.
and if abortion is murder then it is most certainly premeditated and 1st degree
so the death penalty should be imposed on the mother, the doctor and all other accomplices.
That’ll teach em
Doglessliberal: If a pregnant woman goes to a club where there’s a two-drink minimum, does she have to have four? I mean, it’s only fair.
Clever_Sobriquet: So what is miscarriage?
SayItWithWookies: The whole 2 for 1 thing gets very messy.
Doglessliberal: AngryBlakGuy: And also buy two airplane tickets so you don’t have some kicking unborn next to you in coach. That’s the worst.
ForTheTurnstiles: My cat chews electrical appliance cords.
trophy(forparticipation)wife: What the hell are you talking about?
I like cats. They taste like chicken.
It’s not abortion, it’s an eviction. Get the Sheriff in there to escort the bugger out. “Dude, can I borrow your Tonka truck? The landlady tossed me out and I gotta move my placenta before it rains.” Sheesh, damn freeloading fetuses.
Doglessliberal: Oh Jesus Fucking Christ! (Yes, I’ll probably go to Hell for saying that, but I’ve been holding in since reading Jezebel comments early this morning). Can’t we just get the shittiest state in the South and “encourage” them all to move there, and then set up some borders?
Teh stupid and teh crazy is just killing me these days.
SayItWithWookies: Wouldn’t a pregnant woman also have to smoke 2 cigarettes?
Schadenfried: I’ve seen a video of that.
Schadenfried: Check.
http://christianexodus.org
…if we really want to be nit-picky then birth control(i.e. the pill) would count as murder because those medications prevent fertilized eggs from attaching to the wall of the uterus. I guess that means they would creating a new branch of law enforcement: The Period Police. Once every 30 days all women must bring their used tampons and pads to their office for inspection! Ok, now I’m going to stop typing because my stomach is beginning to turn!!!
trophy(forparticipation)wife:
Did you do Drew Carey’s little arm gesture?
Reading that article is way beyond my pay scale.
V572625694: Doglessliberal: …many time babies were actually twins, but at some point early in the pregnancy the stronger twin actually kills off and absorbs the other fetus. Does this mean we can arrest babies when they are born?
AngryBlakGuy: Or you could pop an RU486 on Monday and be painting by Tuesday.
But what if a fetus is murdered by it’s mother’s steady diet of Dinty Moore, ramen noodles, and processed cheese products? I’ll bet the Eucharist has some undisclosed toxicity. Look what it’s doing to their brains.
trophy(forparticipation)wife: *Threw-up in his MOUTH*
But what of the fetal position?
WAKE UP, PEOPLE! I mean, coffee or something.
trophy(forparticipation)wife: If you mean preggers w/ ciggies, I almost saw that in real life. This woman on the El train had one in her hand in the “ready to light up as soon as I get off” position. I didn’t even know if she was pregnant until she got into a fight with her boyfriend and he got off at another stop, and her friend says “I don’ care about them other fawkin’ six kids he’s got out there, I just care about the one in ‘ere!” pointing to her stomach.
Gotta love those PA bitters, even the Philly kind.
AngryBlakGuy: You never have understood feminist art or women’s rights, for that matter.
Schadenfried: I mean smokin’ cooch.
Schadenfried: Philly! I love that jawn.
AngryBlakGuy: a lot of people believe that. And this is the greatly watered-down version of this:
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/08/21/AR2008082102818.html?hpid=moreheadlines
Schadenfried: Not for long.
My cat marked a wall socket. That made for quite a light show,
and required a trip to the vet for the poor boy’s burnt bits. Our
vet almost passed out laughing.
Doglessliberal: Christ, I’m tired of these fuckers. I keep saying to myself what else they can’t possibly add to the awfulness of their tenure in the White House but they keep finding new ways to surprise me.
BayhSexual: yes, it is sort of like renters destroying the apartment right before they leave. They want to leave this country in shambles. This lovely item is another example:
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/08/21/AR2008082103607.html
Gopherit v2.0: WOW! Ow! Does your cat have litigious rights?
How’s a fetus supposed to get a phone to call up a lawyer? Did Obama think of that? Sue happy liberals, can’t trust ‘em.
http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/
Doglessliberal:
The right of fetuses to own a handgun was established in: God v. Liberals, 410 U.S. 167 (1988).
Doglessliberal:
http://boskolives.wordpress.com/2008/07/20/men-with-glasses-will-go-to-prison-or-to-hell/