Wonkette operative “Basart” just sent iron-clad evidence supporting his completely made-up theory that Lincoln “Rhode Island Red” Chaffee will be Barack’s challenging independent vice president — our new LBJ! The list is sure to surprise/confound you.
1. Independent
2. “Strengthen the economy.” He used to be a blacksmith. When all the oil is gone, and we return to horse-drawn carriages, he will take over the blacksmith/iron industries and the government will reap the rewards.
3. Chaffee is from Rhode Island. So is Sara Smith.
4. “Lincoln,” duh. He’s on the penny! Which is money! IT’S THE ECONOMY, STUPID.
5. Plus he’s a total Democrat.
EARLIER: Lincoln Chaffee Might Vote For Obama!
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Obama/Chaffee sounds too much like it would be cured by a liberal application of ointment.
Oh, now how’s that gonna look: “Obama / Lincoln”? Wait, that looks good. Lincoln freed the slaves; Barry’s running for Prez. Winner!
Nah, I think it’s gonna be Janet Napolitano. Napolitano knows how to push around Republicans, can take Arizona away from John McCain, and could beat Hopey’s ass in an arm-wrestling match. The only problem is, he’ll lose the Bitters because he won’t have picked a woman.
Sounds legit to me.
I’m thinking somebody more sidekicky, like Chewbacca the Wookie.
Lincoln Chafee sounds like a smooth ride, like it’s got really good suspension and de-luxe interiors. Yeah, I’d vote for it.
[re=65594]Ken Layne[/re]: he’s clean, and articulate.
[re=65587]Gopherit v2.0[/re]: I think she’s awesome, but isn’t she, um, you know…?
[re=65595]BobLoblawLawBlog[/re]: Diamond in the back, sunroof top, diggin’ the scene, with a gangsta lean . . .
I see the ad now. Perfect!
[re=65601]Dave J.[/re]: Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
[re=65601]Dave J.[/re]: A catholic? Yeah, I think so.
[re=65590]Voyou Charmant[/re]: Plus, like Barry, Linc enjoys teh Bolivian Marching Powder.
VP? No. But I can see Obama appointing him to be Secretary of Perpetual Sadfaces, or something.
[re=65601]Dave J.[/re]: From a state with few electoral votes? True that. I’d choose a real American hero.
[re=65594]BobLoblawLawBlog[/re]: I can buy that. “Chafee,” from the french verb chauffix, “to racially balance the ticket.”
[re=65601]Dave J.[/re]: Asexuals don’t have sexual preferences, do they? Cuz, if she’d ever had sex in her life, the sleazy Republican Party in AZ would have found out and used it by now.
[re=65594]Ken Layne[/re]: Barak/’Bacca in 2008!
[re=65622]SayItWithWookies[/re]: She let Dubya touch her ass. She’s tainted.
[re=65622]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Not sure I could handle the existential reality of wanting to smack the VP on the bootie.
[re=65626]Gopherit v2.0[/re]: Yeah but he did it wrong, so it doesn’t count.
[re=65628]Dave J.[/re]: We will learn to get used to it. As a nation.
Rhode Island is a Swinger State
[re=65628]Dave J.[/re]: See, there’d be no problem with that with Janet.
[re=65594]Ken Layne[/re]:
Chewbacca was complicit in the destruction of Alderon. He didn’t fix the hyperdrive in time and Vader’s death star destroyed the planet. Or something like that. Whateves. Republican attacks don’t have to make too much sense so long as they blame Democrats for foreign policy debacles.
[re=65625]Hooray For Anything[/re]:
And the immediate counter by the RNC: McCain/Jabba 2008
[re=65642]pdiddycornchips[/re]: Hey, don’t you be Millenium Falconing Chewbacca!
[re=65634]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Again, something only Dubya could screw up.
[re=65648]jimh[/re]: You don’t really think Rove would go for an office do you?
Besides, I heard he was…..you know…
[re=65648]jimh[/re]: Jabba has:
• A successful business background
• Proven leadership experience
• Makes McCain look young, handsome, human
[re=65654]Gopherit v2.0[/re]: Really. Okay, I think I’ve posted this before but it was a while ago, so what the hell:
Do you know why Laura’s always on top when she and the president have sex?
‘Cause Dubya can only fuck up.
[re=65650]Gopherit v2.0[/re]:
He would destroy Lieberman in the Larry King VP debate. Literally if we’re lucky.
[re=65587]Gopherit v2.0[/re]: I like your style, Dude.
He should have picked Suzy Chaffee.
Missing Linc!
[re=65642]pdiddycornchips[/re]: I don’t know how much help Chewy would provide because I don’t think Kashyyyk is a swing state.
Wrong Linc…these young’uns didn’t know Old Abe. Juan McExpress knew the railspitter. He knew Methusala and he dated Lucy, our common ancestor, just a few years before Cindy was borned.
http://www.redorbit.com/news/science/1019044/meet_the_ancestors_lucy_is_going_on_display_outside_africa/index.html
Still, I think it’s gonna be Sibelius. I always did.
John McCain knew Abe Lincoln, Abe Lincoln was a friend of John McCain’s, and Chaffee………………. you know the rest
Either it is Obama/Chaffee which sounds like something McCain got from his diaper (like pattycake said) or it is Barry/Lincoln which they did already back in 1865.
[re=65777]Wee Mousie[/re]: [re=65777]Wee Mousie[/re]: It’s only fair that McFossil got something from his diaper, considering how much he’s put into it.
Jerry w
http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com
Lincoln Chaffee is the son of a moderate Republican New England Senator, he’s dumb, and he likes cocaine. Too familiar, no thanks.
Shit, why not just reanimate Gerald Ford and pick him?
[re=65584]pattycake[/re]: Just so it is liberal…
[re=65637]GlennBecksTaint[/re]: Swinger state? Duly noted.
[re=65814]chaseychasem[/re]: Obama-Deadbody 2008
If you’re going to pick a Rhode islander, it MUST be Buddy Cianci’s wife, Nancy Ann Cianci!
I’m still hoping for Biden… but now I want coffee milk… gah
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