Wonkette
The McCain people are pretty hopped up on steroids today and are issuing some tuff talk after this morning’s delightful housing kerfuffle. They’re putting the finishing touches on an ad about Obama’s “slum landlord” friend Tony Rezko, a topic they claim to have avoided before today, when Obama supposedly “opened the door” to this sort of nasty attack. To most people this logic would be a non sequitur — but most people do not understand logic quite like the McCain Rapid Response Team!
According to a McCain official, McCain’s previous attacks about Obama “[reflect] an existential reality,” whereas Obama’s attack this morning was a PERSONAL AFFRONT TO CINDY: “She owns the homes. I thought he said the wives were off-limits.” See? Whenever McCain civilly offers voters his intellectually nuanced take on Obama’s existential placement in a world-historical hierarchy per se, dirty old Barry responds by lungin’ for two handfuls of sweet, supple Cougar goodness.
Obama would never hit a lady. But Miss Buffalo Chip? Well….
McCain’s new name needs to be McMansion.
No, Barry’d not hit it.
That Seven Houses of WALNUTS! thing must have really caught them off guard. They’re starting to resemble R. Kelly’s defense team with all of these “explanations” and counter-attacks.
Vote Cindy McCain’s Houseboy ‘08!
Also, time for John to retaliate by calling Michelle a C-word.
cal: “McCain’s new name needs to be McMansion.”
SWEET!
AxmxZ: Win.
So the homes don’t reflect existential reality? Are they in some kind of Schroedinger super-position and we won’t know if they exist until they actually use one?
Well if he doesn’t own any houses, then why didn’t he say “none?” I mean, he can count that high, can’t he?
SuperRounder: I must concur. Perhaps Obama’s rope-a-dope method is paying off. He always seemed like a nice guy….
Or perhaps more appropriately, The houses aren’t so much in Schroedinger’s box, as they are in McCain’s cunt.
Describing your campaign rhetoric as existential seems pretty damn elitist to me.
SayItWithWookies: +1
sezme: If you’re thinkin’ anything worse than “capable”, I believe that would escalate this from campaign kerfuffle to cage match in a nanosecond.
SuperRounder: I don’t know that that’s a good metaphor, because R. Kelly’s team won. …I really hope that’s not a good metaphor, anyway.
cal: Inspired!
bago: Maybe she just owns them in Second Life.
Q: “So senator, are you aware that Czechoslovakia no longer exists?”
A: “How dare you — I thought our wives were out of bounds. And yet you’ve insinuated that Cindy would have conjugal relations with someone who was completely out of touch. Shame, sir. Shame, shame, shame.”
SayItWithWookies: Cause then he would be a homeless veteran, which would be counter to O’reilly’s faux news memo of the day that there are no homeless veterans. He’s just staying on message.
“She owns the homes”? What, did McCain sign a prenup with Cindy before they wed? I hope he was at least allowed to keep his balls.
SayItWithWookies: Yeah…..you have to wonder if part of this has more than a little bit to do with Cindy mentioning something like, “Hello, it’s not like you own any houses. Thank you, pre-nup! Who’s the trollopy-cunt now, John, huh?”
Cindy is renting one her condo’s to Mother Teresa. For free. So back off, bitches.
Gopherit v2.0: Prenup jinx!
McMansion*Virgin ‘08
“Damn you Obama,
I see your logic and raise you 10 completely illogical smearmonging diamonds.”
They shouldn’t forget to mention that Elijah Mohammed’s son was Rezko’s partner.
Gopherit v2.0: Well sure, but taken off-guard, you never know: the old fart with the temper might just let it fly.
…there is nothing more satisfying than watching WALNUTS! campaign slides around like a confused dog in the back of pickup truck at 60mph!
Nonononono, silly McNasty: FIRST wives are off limits. Trollop cunts are fair game.
cal: Or McCondo
BillyClubb: Yeah, I want to hear more about McCain’s pre-nup. And about how she isn’t availing her time, connections or money to help her husband’s campaign, obviously.
If it’s true that behind every successful man is a good woman, then this means that McCain’s got a mistress, because Cindy obviously isn’t giving her husband a single dime or housekey.
You know, it seems like everytime the McCain team goes on the attack, they go completely nuts and over the top. Like they have a short fuse and just a little slight makes them go nuclear. I wonder where that comes from?
Well, so much for “the buck stops here”.
Obama should do an ad with him checking out all seven homes, asking “Ms. Cindy, can Johnny come out and play?”
Pussy-whipped old codger.
Obama’s new talking points should be - wow, do you hear what Old Man McCain is saying today? He is clearly incoherent, unable to follow a normal pattern of thought and logic without nonsequiturs, and way too feeble-minded to be anywhere near the White House.
Why isn’t the photo of the first Mrs McCain — YOU KNOW, THE ONE WHO WAITED FIVE PLUS YEARS FOR HER HERO TO COME HOME AND DITCH HER — all over the Internet. I’d love to get a t-shirt made.
Cindy’s bouquet appears to be made of eggs over easy. Metaphor?
Mr. Herpes: When Cindy kicks his toothless and incontinent ass to the curb, he’s going back to the non-cunty-trollopy one. You know, necause he won’t have anywhere else to live with NO HOUSES OF HIS OWN.
And because she’s stupid and still loves him to this day.
The “but they are all my wife’s homes” defense will not play in Peoria.
Hooray For Anything: This is why Obama must provoke McCain’s rapid response team as much as possible.
AngryBlakGuy: or on top of Romball’s car pessing and shatting himself.
McCains going to have a tough time when the cops find him wandering in the streets in his bathrobe and they ask him where he lives.
itgetter: yeah, what gives with the “existential reality”? is this some kind of reference to Sartre?
Ah, so McInsane’s attacks reflect his deep existential understanding of the situation. No wonder listening to him gives me nausea.
bago: Perhaps Heisenberg’s uncertainty principle is at work. Knowing Cindy owns the mansions means Walnuts! can’t know where they are. Its pretty basic quantum mechanics if you think about it, or he’s lying. He’s probably lying.
Hee, I am having schadenfreude-ish glee seeing this McCain House-gate thing go batshit all over the internets…Barry’s peeps really hit a nerve it seems. The comments on this story on HuffPo for instance are tiny little gems of gloriousness.
sike101: I dunno. I’m beginning t be fond of the image of McCain as a modern day hobo, carrying his bindle from condo to condo.
Cindy’s doing John like the Viet Cong did him. Boy-o is whipped.
On the plus side: Kanye — black, from Chicago — is prolly going to switch to JMC, since KW & Pillsy are of one mind. They want pre-nup, they want pre-nup.
Rodney Badger: Agreed. McCain needs to start getting so dirty his rhetoric turns from existential reflection to 2Girls1cup ruminations.
Rodney Badger: Yeah, if I were on Hopey’s campaign team, I’d be throwing the proverbial spitball after spitball just to goad them on because it’s only a matter of time before McCain goes postal. In fact, I’d prepare a few zingers just for the debate and just sit back and watch McCain’s face turn bright red and the spittle fly.
Hooray For Anything: Hopey should twirl McCrotchety’s hair. That pushes him over the edge.
Yr intern, Marc Ambruster, got it wrong. It’s not the “McCain Rapid Response Team”. It’s “McCain Rapid Action Team”.
I remember it because it sounds like Juan: McRAT. Smells like Juan, too!1!2
non sequitur. Does that mean “two in a row” or “two at the same time”?
And why is Barry carrying an existential per se? Is that something he brought back from Deutchland? I heard the Euromen carry them.
Weird.
I think the best way to keep the McCain-maddening wank going is to consistently keep mentioning that it’s his wife who is funding his lifestyle. That he’s basically a kept man. A couple of good “woa-psh!” whipped sounds around him during his town halls would send him over the edge.
Operation K-Fed is officially in effect.
What I want to know is why would the Obama campaign leave Cindy out of things now that John has admitted he’s her hobo-bitch?
Seriously, how many Americans will keep buying into their Average American Family bit when she says stuff like this(in Vogue in June):
“When I bought the first one(Condo in Coronado), my husband, who is not a beach person, said, ‘Oh this is such a waste of money; the kids will never go.’ Then it got to the point where they used it so much I couldn’t get in the place. So I bought another one.”
Until Barry calls Cindi a cunt and a trollop he hasn’t laid one finger on Mrs. Lizardface. This is almost as hypocritical as Bill being pissed about his wife being “disrespected”. I guess men think only they are entitled to embarass, insult and humiliate their wives.
I’d think twice about getting into conflict with Cindy McCain.
She’s not much of a wrestler, but you ought to see her box.
Jerry w
http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com
Gopherit v2.0: Love the implication that she can’t stand being around her family… Obama’s campaign needs to bring up prescription drug abuse as a cancer on our society… 2 for 1 slam
So, if I have this straight, Team McCain’s response to the 7 houses kerfuffle is:
1) They’re totally not houses, they’re CONDOS, which are really like apartments. Walk in closets, practically.
2) It doesn’t even matter that they’re really just teeny tiny storage units, because actually, they belong to my lovely wife who uses them to store her yarn and kittens and stuff. You know how the ladies love their knick knacks…don’t we fellas? Heh heh heh.
3) Enough of this nonsense about my 7 homes…Barack Obama totally has a home too…which he OWNS. Barack Obama is a black African American Muslim person of color who owns his own home…that ain’t right y’all.
4) Plus, he probably wouldn’t even OWN it if it hadn’t been given to him by the Tony Rezko Muslim mafia.
So nyah!
Cindy Lou Ho wore *white*?
BWAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!
Five and a half years people! Surely John McCain has earned the privilege to both cheat on his wife and become a kept man!
Fear of a Black Reagan: Yeah, but they don’t show the rest of the picture, cause the dress only goes that far. Below that she’s just wearing hotpants.
snig: The kids nowadays call those booty shorts.
Just pointing out a typo. Its “McCain Vapid Response Team”
I like McCain in the wedding picture with his child-heiress bride; he kind of looks like obese crazy People’s Republic of Austin local legend Daniel Johnston.
snig: I seriously love you for that.
Jim - I don’t know where to put this, so sorry for the random hijack. I would like to propose “Total Medal Cunt” as either the greatest intertubes meme ever or Walnuts’ hip new campaign slogan. Check it out (apologies for the shitty video quality):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9o0N9m-jv84&NR=1