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Virginia Governor Tim Kaine Cracks Wise About John McCain’s Millions Of Homes

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OK, now that thing Peggy Noonan wrote about Tim Kaine’s hair makes sense. But that is not the point! The point is Tim Kaine made a crack about how John McCain can’t count very high, because John McCain is a rich man who makes his wife’s slaves do his counting for him. [YouTube]

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Sara K. Smith was Wonkette's morning editor from 2008 to 2010, and now contributes a weekly (?!) column to Wonkette, to prove she still loves you all!

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Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • Nikolai Vsevolodovich Stavrogin

    Scary thing is, he’s had more tumours than houses.

  • WhatTheHeck

    Sara, what’s wrong with having a sugar mama, or two or three?

  • Scarab

    Why does he have the haircut of my wood shop teacher?

  • Lorax

    That is one priceless ‘do.

    What’s going on here? Are those actual horns?

  • carerer

    But part of me tugs for Tim Kaine of Virginia, because he has a wonderful American Man haircut, not the cut of the man in first but the guy in coach who may be the air marshal. He looks like he goes once every 10 days to Jimmy Hoffa’s barber and says, “Gimme a full Detroit.” Detroit: that’s a place.
    – Peggy Noonan, from the article cited above

  • NoWireHangers

    If he’s gonna be Veep, he better get a haircut and some hair plugs. I can’t look at that for 8 years.

  • OuterBoroughPrincess

    From the same paragraph as the Detroit haircut quip, “I end with a thought on the upcoming announcements of vice presidential picks. Major props to both campaigns for keeping it tight . . .”

    “Major props to both campaigns for keeping it tight”? Did Jay-Z win a charity auction to write a sentence in Peggy Noonan’s column?

  • StripesAndPlaids

    He does kind of look like Dilbert’s boss.

  • Gopherit v2.0

    I’d jst like to thank the editors for not doing a full post on that retarded Peggy Noonan column. I think she’s been sharing a bong with Maureen Dowd.

  • SayItWithWookies

    I like the attitude — a smooth casual shiv, not some big “hey, I have a quip!” sorta production that is the major capability of the Bush/McCain crew.

  • carerer

    Worms, I hate worms, they drive me crazy. Crazy, I was crazy once. They put me in a home, you know. Then the worms came. Worms, I hate worms, they drive me crazy…
    – Peggy Noonan

  • Darehead

    Just dandy, Kaine.
    But Nooney is loony. Kaine may be Detroit-coiffed but he’s not so “placed” either”: born in Minnesota, grew up in Missouri; those have M’s but they’re not Michigan! And he went to Honduras, then sweet Virginia…

  • V572625694

    [re=64892]carerer[/re]: How the fuck would Peggy Noonan know what the haircut of somebody in coach class looks like? Jeebus, can you feel the contempt for the middle class and middle west dripping off her? What a hateful woman. Let’s not bring any more of her WSJ dreck here in this calm, thoughtful environment.

    I’m glad she’s not an elitist, though.

  • Larry Fine

    The candidate with the nicest hair is that sissy who is the governor of florida.

  • AngryBlakGuy

    …Im not sure why everyone is acting so condescending toward WALNUTS! about his multiple home. Whats wrong with having a vacation villa, weekend estate, holiday mansion and who doesn’t have a winter cabin and summer lodge! Anyone who owns less than 6 homes and makes less than 5 million dollars year is a dumpster trolling, street urchin that doesn’t deserve to clean the windshield of Cindy’s Buggati Veyron!!!

  • Scarab

    On second thought that hair is perfect. It will reassure the part of the voting public that’s afraid the dems are all hippies, gays, and negroes. That haircut is worth at least 36 electoral votes my friends.

  • 4tehlulz

    >>Neither man has or gives a strong sense of place in the sense that American politicians almost always have,

    Like Mr. Bush from Mai…no, Connectic…no, Texas? Yeah, that’s it. Texas.

    Fucking retire, Peggy, you’re wasting Rupert’s money.

  • Outstando

    That haircut would create the illusion that his head is square, if a little battered, if it wasn’t so easy to see right through it to the round.

    Maybe he sleeps in Mickey Mouse ears, and just woke up from a nap. Or he had his Princess Leah danish extensions ripped from his skull by a madman just prior to walking into the TV studio. And maybe I’m that madman, fingering that delicate horsehair while watching the Sorcerer’s Apprentice on one of my 24 analog television screens. Oh, the coming digital apocalypse.

  • 4tehlulz

    >>”Gimme a full Detroit.”

    What about a Cleveland Steamer? Cleveland is a place.

  • Outstando

    [re=64909]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: Yeah. Newsflash. America admires rich people.

  • DoctorCulturae

    I like Kaine, but this isn’t 1992. Having two young guys was great then. Hope Hopey doesn’t have then confused with now.

    The haircut rocks. Could be even more wonderfully goofy. Looks like he could be play offensive tackle for the Green Bay Packers.

  • carerer

    [re=64904]V572625694[/re]: But he’s not some guy in coach, he’s an air marshal. And for some reason she knows what that person would look like.

  • Canuckledragger

    Today, John McCain issued the following terse comment on this non-issue:

    “My friends, what kind of asshole expects me to count my houses when I’m not even in my counting house? When I’m in my counting house, I will count my houses.”


  • Outstando

    Tim Kaine still has his grandfather’s Rivett 608 and knows the cutting oil wholesaler like he’s family. Only a douchebag buys auto parts.

  • MoodProcessor


    alternate reply: “Cindy only lets me use the one. When I’m good.”

  • MoodProcessor

    The hair does have the look of “What the fuck do you mean we’re tied in the polls” type desperation about it. Other than that, solid commentary.

  • Fear of a Black Reagan

    The bitters will think he is Jimmy Hoffa. KEEP THE DAMN HAIRCUT: BOX OFFICE GOLD!!!

  • tonashideska

    [re=64893]NoWireHangers[/re]: We can send him to the dick cheney memorial hidy hole for 8 years.

  • Fear of a Black Reagan

    [re=64916]DoctorCulturae[/re]: “I like Kaine, but this isn’t 1992. Having two young guys was great then. Hope Hopey doesn’t have then confused with now.”

    The Villagers told Clinton the same thing in ’92. D-Rod “The Dean” Broder was Very Concerned that Bubba choose a Serious Person. Sam Nunn was a favorite then as now.

  • smashtheduck

    [re=64910]Scarab[/re]: No shit. Add the beer gut to cancel out topless pics of Hopey and fuck it…we win.

  • TGY

    It makes me proud to be an American to know that even a lawnmower collision victim can serve in high political office, as well as speak truth on a respected international media such as Youtube.

  • sezme

    One look at that hair and I’m in. I don’t care what he has to say, I’d vote for him based solely on that hair. That, amigos mios, is vice-presidential hair.

  • sezme

    Also, McCain only counts the homes with en-suite masterbatoriums.

  • Serolf Divad

    Yeah, well Dubya can’t count high enough either, and he’s only got three homes.

  • scotterl

    That’s some good Jesuit trained snark. Nice job, TIMMY.

  • Guppy06

    [re=64934]MoodProcessor[/re]: Cindy keeps him in a dog crate.

  • RuperttheBear

    [re=64906]Larry Fine[/re]: He looks just like you! Nyuk, nyuk!

  • Miller

    You may be laughing now, but at this moment McCain’s staffers are furiously making John-boy memorize the exact number of states in case some liberal media member cracks wise to him about the exact number. You ever see this man try to count up to 50? You can smell the wood burning.


  • CivicHoliday

    [re=64913]Outstando[/re]: I just spit water. The Leia buns hair extension comment was too much. :)

  • ShortShadey

    James Gandolfini – sans Joisey.

  • Scooter

    I suppose that might be a Hoffa, but to me it looks more like a Butkus.

  • Maus

    [re=64912]4tehlulz[/re]: “>>Neither man has or gives a strong sense of place in the sense that American politicians almost always have, ”

    It’s true! McCain is a liberal, Hopey is a Neg er Boy, er inexperienced and incapable of filling the weighty shoes of Bush.

  • BaxterJones

    Kaine sure has been making the rounds today. I had barely heard of him, and now it really feels like he’s auditioning for a VP nom: http://www.entertonement.com/collections/1520/Tim-Kaine