ELITE HOMEOWNERS  11:33 am August 21, 2008

Virginia Governor Tim Kaine Cracks Wise About John McCain’s Millions Of Homes

by Sara K. Smith

OK, now that thing Peggy Noonan wrote about Tim Kaine’s hair makes sense. But that is not the point! The point is Tim Kaine made a crack about how John McCain can’t count very high, because John McCain is a rich man who makes his wife’s slaves do his counting for him. [YouTube]

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Nikolai Vsevolodovich Stavrogin August 21, 2008 at 11:37 am

Scary thing is, he’s had more tumours than houses.

WhatTheHeck August 21, 2008 at 11:38 am

Sara, what’s wrong with having a sugar mama, or two or three?

Scarab August 21, 2008 at 11:44 am

Why does he have the haircut of my wood shop teacher?

Lorax August 21, 2008 at 11:44 am

That is one priceless ‘do.

What’s going on here? Are those actual horns?

carerer August 21, 2008 at 11:45 am

But part of me tugs for Tim Kaine of Virginia, because he has a wonderful American Man haircut, not the cut of the man in first but the guy in coach who may be the air marshal. He looks like he goes once every 10 days to Jimmy Hoffa’s barber and says, “Gimme a full Detroit.” Detroit: that’s a place.
- Peggy Noonan, from the article cited above

NoWireHangers August 21, 2008 at 11:46 am

If he’s gonna be Veep, he better get a haircut and some hair plugs. I can’t look at that for 8 years.

OuterBoroughPrincess August 21, 2008 at 11:47 am

From the same paragraph as the Detroit haircut quip, “I end with a thought on the upcoming announcements of vice presidential picks. Major props to both campaigns for keeping it tight . . .”

“Major props to both campaigns for keeping it tight”? Did Jay-Z win a charity auction to write a sentence in Peggy Noonan’s column?

StripesAndPlaids August 21, 2008 at 11:48 am

He does kind of look like Dilbert’s boss.

Gopherit v2.0 August 21, 2008 at 11:49 am

I’d jst like to thank the editors for not doing a full post on that retarded Peggy Noonan column. I think she’s been sharing a bong with Maureen Dowd.

SayItWithWookies August 21, 2008 at 11:50 am

I like the attitude — a smooth casual shiv, not some big “hey, I have a quip!” sorta production that is the major capability of the Bush/McCain crew.

carerer August 21, 2008 at 11:51 am

Worms, I hate worms, they drive me crazy. Crazy, I was crazy once. They put me in a home, you know. Then the worms came. Worms, I hate worms, they drive me crazy…
- Peggy Noonan

Darehead August 21, 2008 at 11:52 am

Just dandy, Kaine.
But Nooney is loony. Kaine may be Detroit-coiffed but he’s not so “placed” either”: born in Minnesota, grew up in Missouri; those have M’s but they’re not Michigan! And he went to Honduras, then sweet Virginia…

V572625694 August 21, 2008 at 11:52 am

[re=64892]carerer[/re]: How the fuck would Peggy Noonan know what the haircut of somebody in coach class looks like? Jeebus, can you feel the contempt for the middle class and middle west dripping off her? What a hateful woman. Let’s not bring any more of her WSJ dreck here in this calm, thoughtful environment.

I’m glad she’s not an elitist, though.

Larry Fine August 21, 2008 at 11:52 am

The candidate with the nicest hair is that sissy who is the governor of florida.

AngryBlakGuy August 21, 2008 at 11:53 am

…Im not sure why everyone is acting so condescending toward WALNUTS! about his multiple home. Whats wrong with having a vacation villa, weekend estate, holiday mansion and who doesn’t have a winter cabin and summer lodge! Anyone who owns less than 6 homes and makes less than 5 million dollars year is a dumpster trolling, street urchin that doesn’t deserve to clean the windshield of Cindy’s Buggati Veyron!!!

Scarab August 21, 2008 at 11:54 am

On second thought that hair is perfect. It will reassure the part of the voting public that’s afraid the dems are all hippies, gays, and negroes. That haircut is worth at least 36 electoral votes my friends.

4tehlulz August 21, 2008 at 11:56 am

>>Neither man has or gives a strong sense of place in the sense that American politicians almost always have,

Like Mr. Bush from Mai…no, Connectic…no, Texas? Yeah, that’s it. Texas.

Fucking retire, Peggy, you’re wasting Rupert’s money.

Outstando August 21, 2008 at 11:57 am

That haircut would create the illusion that his head is square, if a little battered, if it wasn’t so easy to see right through it to the round.

Maybe he sleeps in Mickey Mouse ears, and just woke up from a nap. Or he had his Princess Leah danish extensions ripped from his skull by a madman just prior to walking into the TV studio. And maybe I’m that madman, fingering that delicate horsehair while watching the Sorcerer’s Apprentice on one of my 24 analog television screens. Oh, the coming digital apocalypse.

4tehlulz August 21, 2008 at 11:57 am

>>”Gimme a full Detroit.”

What about a Cleveland Steamer? Cleveland is a place.

Outstando August 21, 2008 at 11:58 am

[re=64909]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: Yeah. Newsflash. America admires rich people.

DoctorCulturae August 21, 2008 at 11:59 am

I like Kaine, but this isn’t 1992. Having two young guys was great then. Hope Hopey doesn’t have then confused with now.

The haircut rocks. Could be even more wonderfully goofy. Looks like he could be play offensive tackle for the Green Bay Packers.

carerer August 21, 2008 at 12:01 pm

[re=64904]V572625694[/re]: But he’s not some guy in coach, he’s an air marshal. And for some reason she knows what that person would look like.

Canuckledragger August 21, 2008 at 12:02 pm

Today, John McCain issued the following terse comment on this non-issue:

“My friends, what kind of asshole expects me to count my houses when I’m not even in my counting house? When I’m in my counting house, I will count my houses.”


Outstando August 21, 2008 at 12:06 pm

Tim Kaine still has his grandfather’s Rivett 608 and knows the cutting oil wholesaler like he’s family. Only a douchebag buys auto parts.

MoodProcessor August 21, 2008 at 12:08 pm


alternate reply: “Cindy only lets me use the one. When I’m good.”

MoodProcessor August 21, 2008 at 12:10 pm

The hair does have the look of “What the fuck do you mean we’re tied in the polls” type desperation about it. Other than that, solid commentary.

Fear of a Black Reagan August 21, 2008 at 12:11 pm

The bitters will think he is Jimmy Hoffa. KEEP THE DAMN HAIRCUT: BOX OFFICE GOLD!!!

tonashideska August 21, 2008 at 12:12 pm

[re=64893]NoWireHangers[/re]: We can send him to the dick cheney memorial hidy hole for 8 years.

Fear of a Black Reagan August 21, 2008 at 12:16 pm

[re=64916]DoctorCulturae[/re]: “I like Kaine, but this isn’t 1992. Having two young guys was great then. Hope Hopey doesn’t have then confused with now.”

The Villagers told Clinton the same thing in ’92. D-Rod “The Dean” Broder was Very Concerned that Bubba choose a Serious Person. Sam Nunn was a favorite then as now.

smashtheduck August 21, 2008 at 12:19 pm

[re=64910]Scarab[/re]: No shit. Add the beer gut to cancel out topless pics of Hopey and fuck it…we win.

TGY August 21, 2008 at 12:28 pm

It makes me proud to be an American to know that even a lawnmower collision victim can serve in high political office, as well as speak truth on a respected international media such as Youtube.

sezme August 21, 2008 at 12:28 pm

One look at that hair and I’m in. I don’t care what he has to say, I’d vote for him based solely on that hair. That, amigos mios, is vice-presidential hair.

sezme August 21, 2008 at 12:29 pm

Also, McCain only counts the homes with en-suite masterbatoriums.

Serolf Divad August 21, 2008 at 12:32 pm

Yeah, well Dubya can’t count high enough either, and he’s only got three homes.

scotterl August 21, 2008 at 12:34 pm

That’s some good Jesuit trained snark. Nice job, TIMMY.

Guppy06 August 21, 2008 at 12:34 pm

[re=64934]MoodProcessor[/re]: Cindy keeps him in a dog crate.

RuperttheBear August 21, 2008 at 1:40 pm

[re=64906]Larry Fine[/re]: He looks just like you! Nyuk, nyuk!

Miller August 21, 2008 at 1:44 pm

You may be laughing now, but at this moment McCain’s staffers are furiously making John-boy memorize the exact number of states in case some liberal media member cracks wise to him about the exact number. You ever see this man try to count up to 50? You can smell the wood burning.


CivicHoliday August 21, 2008 at 1:59 pm

[re=64913]Outstando[/re]: I just spit water. The Leia buns hair extension comment was too much. :)

ShortShadey August 21, 2008 at 2:41 pm

James Gandolfini – sans Joisey.

Scooter August 21, 2008 at 3:04 pm

I suppose that might be a Hoffa, but to me it looks more like a Butkus.

Maus August 21, 2008 at 3:39 pm

[re=64912]4tehlulz[/re]: “>>Neither man has or gives a strong sense of place in the sense that American politicians almost always have, ”

It’s true! McCain is a liberal, Hopey is a Neg er Boy, er inexperienced and incapable of filling the weighty shoes of Bush.

BaxterJones August 21, 2008 at 3:52 pm

Kaine sure has been making the rounds today. I had barely heard of him, and now it really feels like he’s auditioning for a VP nom: http://www.entertonement.com/collections/1520/Tim-Kaine

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