Wonkette
John McCain visited an oil rig today, now that the weather’s cleared up. On this oil rig he talked about, well we don’t know, maybe how he refuses to endorse Congress’ energy bill compromise? And then some DNC mole started handing out this “kit” to reporters on the scene. As you can see, the kit can be arranged into a cock-and-balls sort of arrangement. The black oil barrel in the middle is actually a stress toy. So when you are angry you can squeeze it as you would John McCain’s stubby black cock. [Political Wire, The Trail]
JOHN MCCAIN IS AN INADEQUATE BLACK MAN.
So this is how WALNUTS! gets his jollies when that trollop is being frigid.
I found McCain’s cock to be more of a purple, even fuchsia-ish.
I’d prefer a WALNUTS! stress toy featuring a fun-sized WALNUTS!; his cheeks puff up when you squeeze too hard.
McCain was supposed to land his plane on the oil rig for the news cameras. Unfortunately he crashed and was captured by the Mexicans.
I see the thing’s ribbed.
The oil companies get ALL the pleasure.
Only a very perverse mind would see ‘cock and balls’ in that arrangement, which is no doubt why Jim remains a valuable Wonkette employee.
Wait for it…
What would squirt out of it?
Was the illegitimate black child the Bush kept bringing up in 2000 really just a metaphor for McCain’s trouser snake? More at 11
Dear South Carolina Voter:
Would you be more or less likely to vote for Senator McCain if you discovered that he was the illegitimate owner of a small black cock?
Regards,
Karl Rove
RACHEL MADDOW GETS HER OWN FRIGGIN SHOW!!!!
http://tvdecoder.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/08/19/rachel-maddow-to-replace-dan-abrams-on-msnbc/#comment-12353
Well, it goes nicely with the ’smattering of light brown freckles’ on his buttocks (according to his medical records). I’m sure that dr. is now trying to gouge out his mind’s eye.
Well, I guess we know how the main republican sex toy maker intends to expand their market. Kudos for their business savvy. Playin’ both sides, eh, fellas?
McCain has only one request: if you’re gay, don’t be gay towards him. With his fun little sex toys.
The Real JR Revisted: A ebony black stream of flammable anti-hope?
The Real JR Revisted: Thanks for the tip. You just made my hurricane alcohol fueled day.
He could rename his bus The Light Sweet Crude Express.
“I would take 50 thousand barrels of sweeeet crudez any day.”
…you know what!? Im drunk and I got nothing! Normally alcohol compliments my snarkiness, but not right now my friends!
SayItWithWookies: …”Light Sweet LUBE” Express?
This also explains why I experience pain at the pump.
http://img520.imageshack.us/img520/2127/exxonmccainwr8.png
4tehlulz: That’s not what his former Vietnamese captors have been saying, but who can say for sure?
Remarkable. ‘The oil barrel in the middle is actually a stress toy’ is my third most productive pick up line for threesomes.
Well, it’s a tie for third, actually. 17,819 threesome pick up lines are tied for third, with zero threesomes produced.
Exxon threw away their Condi-love like yesterday’s spilled crude oil. Bitches!
Hey, Jim Newell, I squeezed my new McCain Valdez toy like you said, and now I can’t get it off my hands! Plus it’s dribbled all over my nice blue dress…..damn!
http://www.jewcy.com/files/images/mccain-whaaa.jpg
So,
If I take it in the pool with me should i worry about shrinkagz?
Mother Nature is a liberal c*nt! First she lets the sun beat down on poor John McCain so he gets cancer and tons of age spots. Then she sends a hurricane to mess up his speech from an oil rig. The only problem was her timing, since Hurricane Edouard made landfall in Texas, 500 miles past Louisiana, 2 days before McCain’s rigged photo-op. So instead, she sent a group of dolphins (one of nature’s most social, or should I say “socialist” animals) to push a barge into an oil tanker causing a huge spill on the Mississippi.
I cannot wait until McCain becomes president so we can start burning all of our fossil fuels at the same time and block out that awful sun. The sun causes cancer people! But you won’t hear that from the liberal media… except when summer starts. Then, when we can’t grow food anymore we finally be allowed to hunt all that useless wildlife like dolphins and koala bears. What the liberal media also won’t tell you is that koala’s are delicious…. and easy to catch.
I’m pretty sure oily stool is a sign of a serious medical condition. John McCain ought to consult with his physician. Like the one at his elbow.
Speaking of Republicans and oil, here’s a moronic video by interns working for NJ/5 candidate Dennis Shullman, posing as Exxon “executives” or something and nominating Rep. Scott Garrett as their employee of the month. My recommendation to Shullman is to make sure these assholes are stuffing envelopes until they go back to (what looks like) middle school - and stop messing around with the campaign’s camcorder:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r8NsVJi7Qdo
GlennBecksTaint: And gnarled. Horribly gnarled.
Hey, anyone: I will gladly pay $10 for one of these kits–the barrel, the two buttons and the bumper sticker. Let me know if you have one.
–thefrontpage.