• If John McCain were tortured, that would mean opening up a freezing, dark can of sexually humiliated and sleep-deprived worms. [Andrew Sullivan]
  • John McCain is the President of house pets. [The Corner]
  • Howard Dean stress eats M&Ms at an airport Holiday Inn. [Yeas and Nays]
  • Age-inflation victim John McCain is actually middle-aged,
    which is why his chief economic adviser wants everyone to work until
    they are 142, or dead. [Democracy in America]
  • Rev. Wright’s half-real new book will just be about the boring history of Obama’s Muslim Church. [Top of the Ticket]
  • Obama caught a luxurious cold in the resort town of Hawaii and is trying to infect New Mexico. [Ben Smith]
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  1. McCain’s ahead of Obama with pet owners (dogs and cats). It means several things:
    1) Crazee Cat ladies luvs their Walnuts (No shock, see PUMAs.)
    2) Hunters loves their Walnuts (Again, Walnuts has been known to bring down flying things, too.)
    3) Because he’s a Repub, it means that the bestiality vote’s a lock for Walnuts.

  2. Not all of us have longer life expectancies. I, for one, with all the drinking, smoking, and buttsex I have, am slated to die in about, oh, tomorrow. Can I collect social security now?

  3. Andrew Sullivan is ready to “torture” John “Tie Me Up/Tie Me Down!” McCain anytime the latter can make it to the “Sully-Dungeon” located underneath the Altantic’s office.

    (Andy looks really cute in that little People’s Liberation Army uniform he had tailored up.)

  4. Did I miss a photo of our new intern, Juli?

    ‘Coz I missed the first photo of SKS when she signed on, and don’t want to repeat that mistake.

    Wonkette: home of politically conscious feminine pulchritude.

    And horndog guys….

  5. — [T]he idea of indexing [social security eligibility] for longevity—making automatic adjustment in the retirement age to reflect increases in life expectancy—has one important proponent. His name is Douglas Holt-Eakin, a former director of the Congressional Budget Office, and the chief economic adviser to John McCain. —
    I drink, I smoke, I drive with my eyes shut and with live bees in my mouth. Does this mean that I became eligible for SS benefits ten years ago?

    Hey Barnard,
    “Everyone” is a singular pronoun.

  6. [re=63490]GayInMaine[/re]: It’s a Wonkette rule that employees must donate a letter from their given names to the less fortunate. Just ask Ken[t] Layne, Jim[i] Newell or Sara[h] K. Smith.

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