Wonkette
Kathleen Portalksi is no Cooter Obama, but she’ll do! This lady is 11 years older than her more famous half-sister, Cindy McCain. And when their father (Jim Hensley) died, he left just $10,000 to Kathleen and bequeathed his entire massive beer fortune to Cindy. That is pretty fucking harsh.
And now Cindy is only making things worse by telling people she was “an only child,” which is technically true, if you don’t count the kids her parents had with other people before they were married.
Oh and also Cindy and Kathleen are virtually neighbors, in that Kathleen and her impoverished retired husband live in a “modest home” in Phoenix, while Cindy and her massively wealthy Ferragamo-loving husband live in a dozen-ish baronial estates including one in Phoenix.
Cindy McCain’s half-sister: ‘I’m angry’ [The Swamp]
Cindy McCain’s Half Sister ‘Angry’ She’s Hidden [NPR]
Oww. Older, homely and poor? Tough luck, alpha child.
The insinuation that John McCain, a former prisoner of war, would marry a rich trollopy cunt is outrageous.
Darn, I forget to look at the Onion half the time and I missed the Cootergate scandal. Is there any Cooter Beer left?
OMG. Are you kidding? This may not be the most flattering pic, but she is certainly more attractive than Cindy-trollop with her hyper-tight face, makeup, scary eyes, and plastered hair. She is 11 year older than Cindy and I think she looks better without any work done.
Who the hell wouldn’t be angry? Half sis gets the ponies, the airplanes, the fame, the half witted tomcatting airdale husband and the money while she gets the fiscal equivalent of a T-shirt.
Yet shockingly, the older sis doesn’t look like the Cryptkeeper.
I wonder if Cindy is intending to invite the Portalksis to the inauguration.
mothermaven: Yeah, Cindy looks like a 72-year old trying to look 54, but oh wait, she is 54.
Cape Clod: On the bright side, she has never had to sleep with John McCain.
jagorev: FIVE AND A HALF YEARS!!! 5 1/2 YEARS!
The insinuation that Cindy McCain, married to a former prisoner of war, would have a half sister is outrageous.
…who would have figured that a ice cold, home wrecking, oxycontin snorting, self absorbed, snow bitch wouldn’t care about her own sister?! Not me!
AngryBlakGuy: And who would have figured that she came from such an illustrious homewrecking lineage!
Darehead: That’s what is so freaky looking about Cindy! She has that undernourished rich old lady look without actually being really really old.
O and I’m shocked that Cindy McCain’s dad was a coldhearted asshole. Daddy issues much?
“And when their father (Jim Hensley) died, he left just $10,000 to Kathleen and bequeathed his entire massive beer fortune to Cindy.”
Well, of course. Hensley knew that Kathleen would just spend her inheritance on pills…
Only $10k? Damn Kathleen, what did you do? Marry a black dude?
It’s the old McCain family motto: First wives are just for practice.
That means she is John’s half-cunt.
Clearly Cindy inherited her Cruella De Vil-ness from her mother. This lady looks like my Aunt Nancy. Her smile radiates true joy while Cindy’s smile radiates… uhhh, radiation.
…Kathleen Portalksi looks like that PTA mom that is always offering kids rides home and feeding them extremely high calorie/fatty foods. While Cindy reminds me of that self-absorbed stepmother who goes to her step kids soccer games with BAL of .22 and only really goes because the family counselor forced her to.
Yeah, well, as Cindy will tell you, the trick is to be the second wife (or child thereof) and “family values” by d—-d!
Servo: half-cunt-in-law
/fixed
Read the article. Hensley was a WWII pilot and was recovering in a hospital when he met Cindy’s mom and left his current wife and child
I think Cindy inherited a pilot/unfaithful husband fetish.
I guess she’s living in a cone of silence.
SuperRounder: Nah, prolly just smiled at one once…
And agian, I point out, if this kind of revelation were to come to light with say, Michelle, it would be a 24/7 loop on the Teevee for two weeks with blaring headlines about “Family Values” and Musilim terrorists and shit.
itgetter:
Danke.
Wait… what’s this about Cindy McCain having a fortune? I thought the McCain’s were ordinary folk like you and me. Obama’s the elite one.
freakishlystrong: but Michelle is a black Negro person, so it is more important.
Gotta love the way the Portalski’s found out they weren’t in the will…..the day after Gramps dies, Cindy cut their credit lines the fuck off! That’s the kind of fiscal responsibility we need in the White House.
@Proghead777: what smile? she hasn’t been able to use her face muscles in years.
freakishlystrong: Doglessliberal: …if it was Michelle, Sean Insanity would be going door to door with a monster hard-on shouting “5 and 1/2 years Alan!!!”
AngryBlakGuy: if by “because the family counselor forced her to”, you mean “because she is boning the soccer coach”, then I totally agree.
Kathleen Portalksi, welcome to the bitter side.
AngryBlakGuy: Sean Asshannity is a monster hard-on..Doglessliberal: Ahhh..racial transcendence
Daddy always said Cindy was a way better kisser.
georgia_peach: …that too, thanks for the assist!
freakishlystrong: True words, those, and he is slavering for the slightest sex-related rumor he can find about Hopey Obama because he is sure those people are all sexy sexed up and Obama must be off ravishing innocent white women somewhere.
True story: I have a wealthy aunt who one day thought she recognized her mailman. It turned out her semi-estranged brother (my Uncle) is now working the route through her neighborhood.
So I guess I can’t bust on the Cougar and her pride.
” Jim Hensley, who founded one of the nation’s largest beer distributorships in Phoenix, provided credit cards and college tuition to his grandchildren, and $10,000 gifts to Portalski and her husband, NPR reports. When Jim Hensley died in 2000, Portalski was named in his will, and she was left $10,000. Cindy McCain inherited his fortune and is chairman of the board of Hensley and Co.
So Cindy got the beer distributorship, and Kathleen just got food, clothes, college tuition for herself and her kids, the occasional $10k gift and a $10k inheritance.
Yep. Life is so unfair.
But she’s building, er, character.
I guess her limo turned into a pumpkin long ago.
Doglessliberal: “Obama must be off ravishing innocent white women somewhere.”
Hey, that “ravishing innocent white women” thingie sounds way-fun. Where do I sign up?
I’ve ravished lots of white women, but I can’t find any “innocent” ones. Then again, not being a Republican, I don’t bone twelve year olds, so maybe that’s my problem?
I once dated a girl just for beer money, but McCain took it to an entirely different level.
georgia_peach: Stranger than fiction - my buddy’s 16-year old son moved out of his mom’s house and in with him after the son found out his alcoholic Mom was attending his football practice because she was boning the (married) coach.
Canuckledragger: I think for them to be innocent these days, you need to go even younger, but unless you are a priest, coach, or Scout leader, that might be tough.
Doglessliberal: Good point. But not one that I care to think to deeply about at lunch time.
I love Republican family values. McCain’s first wife wasn’t good enough for him (she had been in a car wreck after all), so he marries the daughter of a guy whose first wife wasn’t good enough for him. Like Sussemilch said, first wives are just for practice….and for producing off-spring who will bitch and moan fifty years later, thus ensuring presidential victory. I mean, what presidential candidate without a screwed up sibling has ever won the White House? Barry better dig up that half-sister of his, stat.
— The Portalski family is accustomed to hearing Cindy McCain described as Hensley’s only child. She’s been described that way by news organizations from The New Yorker and The New York Times to Newsweek and ABC. McCain herself routinely uses the phrase “only child,” as she did on CNN last month. “I grew up with my dad,” she said then. “I’m an only child. …” — Weep.
Oxy, it works magic on the memory. Compared to Cindy Lou, John is Marilyn Vos Savant.
Kos: ‘Read the article. Hensley was a WWII pilot and was recovering in a hospital when he met Cindy’s mom and left his current wife and child.
I think Cindy inherited a pilot/unfaithful husband fetish.’
Or, Cindy knew the way to claim the lion’s share of the inheritance by validating her father’s behavior.
I did not know that Jim Hensley had spawned human children in addition to the one borne by an alien space lizardess.
There is a God after all, thank you Jeebus. Pass me a Bud, wontcha?
WadISay: Win.
Loved the Cooter story, as for Kathleen, she looks a bit, just a biy yoiu understand like puppy cloner Brennan McKinney who turned out to be Joyce McKinney the ex - beauty Queen who manacled a Mormon missionary to a bed and forced him to have sex with her back in 1977.
is there nothing this woman will not do to get in the papers?
http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.jsp?memberId=23350&articleId=281474977416829&nav=MyGather
Kos: Cre e e e py. “I want to grow up to be the other woman. JUST LIKE MOMMY.”
“some of the richest people I’ve known in my life are the most unhappy”-John McCain
itgetter: Half step cunt.
Cunt.
She looks like good people in the picture. I’m guessing her dad gave one sister the money, to the other he bequeathed the humanity. I doubt there was anything malicious in her stretching the truth, it’s probably just the “only child” phrase tested better than “favored sister who has 8 mansions to her name while not speaking to her half-sister Cinderella who votes Democrat and manages to make do with one house like 99% of regular Americans.” Though now that it’s out, I’m sure McCain’s people will amend the campaign websites to reflect that.
I used to feel sort of sorry for Cindy with the husband who married her for her money and offered her up as Miss Buffalo Chip and being so lonely she had to buy an orphan for company. But going around claiming to be an only child is just cold.
ph7: Yowza! Aren’t people wonderful? Makes me want to become a hermit/misanthrope.
Darehead: Well yeah, but its not beer, its malt liquor
I’m so jealous of France; we get Kathleen Portalkski interviews and Saddleback, they get naked Carla Bruni photos. I’ll learn to like horsemeat, and off I’ll go. Oh, wait, maybe after the conventions there will be some real news. And the Cubs are in first place; I can’t leave now. And the dollar is worthless; I can’t afford horsemeat or a trip to Paris.
Darehead: Wait, she’s not 46?
Well, now we know what Cindy would look like without Botox and Walnut spittle.
4tehlulz: 4tehlulz, yuk of the day for me… it does seem like “team johnny” is channeling lenny bruce.
Doglessliberal: please be fair, she is not an “admitted negro” so as far as modern science has been able to determine, your assertion is a known unknowable.
In a just world, SHE would be the swing vote and we can all forget about that awful Kevin Costner movie.
The Almost-Second Mrs. John-Boy “Cunt” McCain, if only Papa Hensley had believe in primogeniture.
Katheen Hensley actually got off easy. Jim Hensley’s 2nd wife, Marguerite, had a daughter from her previous marriage. So forget the half-sister who grew up with her mother. Why don’t we hear about the adopted sister who should have been growing up in the same house as Cindy? Because like hyenas in the wild, Cindy ate her rival sibling. Survival of the fittest = pure republican values… as long as it doesn’t imply that satanic concept of evolution.
Ah, Family Values.
Can The Gays please start marrying? Because clearly The Straights have screwed it up beyond saving.
HER HUSBAND WAS BEATEN EVERY DAY FOR FIVE AND A HALF YEARS
FIVE AND A HALF YEARS
FIVE AND A HALF YEARS