• May 27, 2012

Freepers Find Secret Obama VP Leak Article, Maybe!

by Sara K. Smith  9:12 am August 19, 2008

Evan Bayh is vice president of nothing.Someone supposedly got a “screen shot” of some CNN article that was “taken down” before anyone could read it. The article relates in terrible, misspelled prose the curious tale of how an aide accidentally pressed the send button rather than the save button on an email announcing Barack Obama’s vice presidential pick. And then that aide put the turkey to bed and put the baby in the oven, and when she woke up a bloody hook was hanging right outside the window. The aide was then murdered for spamming 2 million Obama supporters with her crap. [Free Republic]

{ 77 comments }

4tehlulz August 19, 2008 at 9:17 am

Daily Kos crashes from the weight of the BREAKING and ZOMGWTFOTL NOOOOO diaries.

Noodle Salad August 19, 2008 at 9:23 am

“In a move to increase it’s mailing list”

Implied librul conspiracy? Check.

Misuse of apostrophe? Check.

Houston, we have wingnut.

Texan Bulldoggette August 19, 2008 at 9:24 am

Boy, is that one of the top 3 most boring choices he could have made? If this is true, blehh….

jinmoom August 19, 2008 at 9:26 am

Well now he CAN’T pick Bayh because that would be admitting that the story was true!

Darehead August 19, 2008 at 9:26 am

Jeepers freepers, where’d ya get those veeper leakers?
Maybe from Wonkette, 2 months ago? (first fist up yonder)

confusionanddelay< August 19, 2008 at 9:28 am

I know this is bullshit because the NYTimes told me that Obama doesn’t like mayonnaise and Evan Bayh is comprised almost entirely of the white goopiness.

sanantonerose August 19, 2008 at 9:31 am

O BAYH

That’ll make a fabulous bumper sticker.

AngryBlakGuy August 19, 2008 at 9:35 am

…geez, never have I wished more that the librul media was wrong than now. I was hoping that an Obama presidency would be accentuated by random tourettes syndrome outburst from VP Joe Biden!

Darehead August 19, 2008 at 9:35 am

[re=62752]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: Isn’t it the job of the veep to be boring, smile pretty, always make the boss look better and not stick a Phelps-sized foot in the mouth? And then when it’s all over, win the Nobel Peace Prize?

tiny mexican August 19, 2008 at 9:35 am

I like how they didn’t bother to change the Story Highlights either.

Oh Freepers….

ReverendGreen August 19, 2008 at 9:37 am

I sense this is a major SWERVE by Team Obama, and his VP is none of the three guys mentioned… Hillary?

HollowBrain August 19, 2008 at 9:38 am

This guy seems pretty vanilla to me. And I don’t mean that racially. I just mean that he seems bland. And white.

jagorev August 19, 2008 at 9:39 am

I don’t believe it’s true, but the error-filled prose give me pause for thought. That article is about as well written as anything CNN ahs ever put up.

econdave August 19, 2008 at 9:41 am

When Bill Kristol starts saying that Hopey picked Bayh, that’s when we know it’s really Biden.

Servo August 19, 2008 at 9:42 am

Just a media feed to shut ‘em up.

Gregory_of_Nazianzus August 19, 2008 at 9:43 am

http://pikecountytimes.files.wordpress.com/2008/08/cnn_screenshot_obama_bayh.jpg

Wow, bayh.vp. Obama has invented a new file extension!

Scrodd August 19, 2008 at 9:45 am

Obama has aides?

mackensie August 19, 2008 at 9:46 am

I took a quick look at Free Republic. I really feel dirty. Who knew those mouthbreathing knuckle draggers had computers and can type!

Naked Bunny with a Whip August 19, 2008 at 9:46 am

I just hope to God nobody starts talking about McCain’s various leaks.

Texan Bulldoggette August 19, 2008 at 9:47 am

[re=62760]Darehead[/re]: Yes and no. (Dick must not have gotten the memo about being boring or smiling pretty.) The Veep also needs to be a prick; someone to take it to McCain & his Veep ala Biden or Clark. Bayh strikes me as a less accented Edwards; nice hair & nice to look at.

4tehlulz August 19, 2008 at 9:48 am

[re=62772]mackensie[/re]: I assume you’re using the term “type” loosely.

HollowBrain August 19, 2008 at 9:48 am

[re=62758]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: Also with Biden as VP, he’ll never be in an undisclosed location. He’ll be in North Korea telling Kim Yong-il to “Cut the shit already” whilst sipping Makers Mark. Then he’ll throw the glass against the wall and get him in a stranglehold until Kim screams “uncle”.

chitownlib August 19, 2008 at 9:50 am

Would they really have given that job to an intern? And why would CNN be the only source to report it? AND THAT MEANS THE WE-TEXT-YOU-FIRST WOULD BE A LIE!

loquaciousmusic August 19, 2008 at 9:57 am

IT’S NOT A SIREN ON DRUDGE. IT CAN’T BE TRUE.

Quietly August 19, 2008 at 9:58 am

Without my glasses on the photo attached to the CNN article looked like John Edwards. I started to mourn, thinking that Barry had committed political sepuku by picking Mr. Popular after the humiliation and painful memories of the Jesus Non-Debate Debate became too much for him to stand.

Is this Bayh guy even a better choice?

Not Gay, Just Thirsty August 19, 2008 at 10:01 am

Obvious fake.

Canuckledragger August 19, 2008 at 10:02 am

This story is all wrong. It says an “intern” was responsible for the premature VEEP ejaculation. Interns don’t ejaculate prematurely; they just clean up for those who do.

[re=62772]mackensie[/re]: Easy on the “knuckle dragger” jokes there, Mac’n'cheeze.

JadedDIssonance August 19, 2008 at 10:02 am

I don’t know where I’ve been, but I had been happily ignorant to the existence of the FReepers and their digital landfill. I hope someone shoots the hamsters running their generators. Too….much….stupid….urge..to..troll..rising…

georgia_peach August 19, 2008 at 10:03 am

[re=62781]Quietly[/re]: Yes, exactly. Every time I see a pic of Evan Bayh I think “John Edwards? Haven’t you been shamed out of existence yet?”

Given that Hopey is probably not interested in working an adultery/love child aspect into his campaign, he CAN’T pick Bayh. If the Wonketteers can’t tell him apart from Edwards, what will the people who only scan the photos in the newspaper think?

4tehlulz August 19, 2008 at 10:05 am

[re=62786]JadedDIssonance[/re]: You won’t get far; they’re very ban happy over there and they scrub posts.

Darehead August 19, 2008 at 10:06 am

If Biden is to be anything, might as well be veep. Less danger with his foot-in-mouth disease and plagiarizin’ past than if he were Secretary of State or something.

trophy(forparticipation)wife August 19, 2008 at 10:06 am

I am not a believer and unicorns do not lie.

badco/LoJ August 19, 2008 at 10:07 am

I call shenanigans.

The Real JR Revisted August 19, 2008 at 10:09 am

Is it me or doesn’t he look like Kevin Klein’s Dave?

Cape Clod August 19, 2008 at 10:10 am

I’m not Bayhing it. (Sorry)

mothermaven August 19, 2008 at 10:11 am

[re=62776]HollowBrain[/re]: That is why Biden must be VP. Sure he has the experience, but the comedic manna that would flow out of his shoot-from-the-hip mouth would be ecstatic. Obama-Biden has verve.

The only problem is that having another senator may not be quite the vision of newness and reform of Washington Obama has been going for.

ReelectTilden August 19, 2008 at 10:13 am

[re=62760]Darehead[/re]: I don’t know, I can’t picture Bayh shooting anyone in the face. Biden: definitely.

loudmouthredhead August 19, 2008 at 10:17 am

[re=62756]sanantonerose[/re]: How about “B. O.”? Of course, if he eventually picks Biden, you could have the slogan “Plugs for Hope”
[re=62760]Darehead[/re]: You forgot the intervening growing season of beard, gut, and personality.

DoctorCulturae August 19, 2008 at 10:18 am

[re=62762]ReverendGreen[/re]: Agreed. Team O has used SWERVE to great advantage: with Hilz, MSM, Preznit Bill. To pick someone away from the contenders list will likely burn some bridges somewhere. But Barry has been very quiet generally for a while, even with Rev. New Age Falwell. What does this mean? …. [gulp] Hilz?

Darehead August 19, 2008 at 10:19 am

[re=62752]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: [re=62805]ReelectTilden[/re]: Hey, kin y’allz read or what? My comment said, “…and then get the Nobel peace prize,” so I was describin’ the formula for bein’ a good veep, a popular veep, the king of the universe gore-geous veep, not his successor, the personification of Great Satan.

DoctorCulturae August 19, 2008 at 10:19 am

[re=62808]loudmouthredhead[/re]: Agreed. Biden is not the choice of the Angry Bitters.

loudmouthredhead August 19, 2008 at 10:20 am

[re=62797]The Real JR Revisted[/re]: Very good.
[re=62798]Cape Clod[/re]: Very bad.
[re=62776]HollowBrain[/re]: Could we please make him sing “I’m so Rone-ry” from his film likeness instead?

ReelectTilden August 19, 2008 at 10:23 am

[re=62812]Darehead[/re]: Sure, but without an evil VP, who are LaRouchites going to blame for the world’s problems?

HollowBrain August 19, 2008 at 10:26 am

[re=62801]mothermaven[/re]: Biden is the Martin Riggs to Obama’s Roger Murtaugh.

Someone photoshop a Lethal Weapon poster, stat.

Canuckledragger August 19, 2008 at 10:28 am

[re=62819]ReelectTilden[/re]: The Queen of England?

ReelectTilden August 19, 2008 at 10:31 am

[re=62825]Canuckledragger[/re]: Well, she’s my go-to choice for international conspiracy.

Whiskeybaby August 19, 2008 at 10:32 am

has anyone else looked at the NYTimes’ rundown of potential VP picks for each of the candidates? There are pictures of each one and all I can say is, McCain really is keen to sew up the oompa-loompa vote, isn’t he? I have never seen so many permatanned gay men in my life, and I live in greenwich village…

Canuckledragger August 19, 2008 at 10:36 am

[re=62831]ReelectTilden[/re]: Are you an Executive Intelligence Review subscriber? Or its Editor?

4tehlulz August 19, 2008 at 10:41 am

[re=62831]ReelectTilden[/re]: Why not the Jews? Or is that considered mailing it in among the conspiracy theorists?

Darehead August 19, 2008 at 10:45 am

[re=62819]ReelectTilden[/re]: They blame anyone and everyone who uses these words: peace, democracy, global, world, international, sisterhood, peace, brotherhood, global, world, democracy. peace ….

Godot August 19, 2008 at 10:50 am

[re=62760]Darehead[/re]: That’s it! Obama should pick Michael Phelps for his VP, he always wins!

WINGNUT August 19, 2008 at 10:53 am

Just A push of the button and sorry pakistani…..all Send buttonare being removed from all inter computers as we read.

Godot August 19, 2008 at 10:55 am

[re=62853]WINGNUT[/re]: “Oh no, I meant to SAVE the nuclear strike!!”

Darehead August 19, 2008 at 11:06 am

[re=62850]Godot[/re]: They can both swim, and McCain can’t, and think of the fab-abs! And, my friend, [re=62850]Godot[/re]: , Phelps is not waiting for you…because we are all waiting for Him.

Larry McAwful August 19, 2008 at 11:19 am

In a related story, a 21-year-old White House intern accidentally obliterated a third of Asia today when President Bush asked this unnamed person to order lunch. This anonymous, hapless 21-year-old intern instead pressed the “launch” button, reducing much of China, Korea and Russia to a sheet of radioactive glass.

Civilization as we know it is expected to end later this afternoon.

DoctorCulturae August 19, 2008 at 11:24 am

Methinks Joe B. is auditioning for Secr. O’State. No cache for all the prep (cell calls, etc.) if Bear-bear goes for the guy the MSM is anointing. I think we should look where they aren’t looking…., for the one person to keep Hilz-Billz out of WH…. and it is too early in the morning to start the mint juleps, but….. Gore?

sanantonerose August 19, 2008 at 11:26 am

[re=62776]HollowBrain[/re]: Yes, Biden and his loud mouth will definitely get him assassinated first.

Mahousu August 19, 2008 at 11:36 am

[re=62884]Larry McAwful[/re]: Far Out Space Nuts Forever!

StewPie August 19, 2008 at 11:44 am

I don’t Bayh it.

Those Freepers are darn scary though.

4tehlulz August 19, 2008 at 11:49 am
trondant August 19, 2008 at 11:52 am

The average freeper couldn’t find his asshole with a map of DC and directions to the White House.

thefrontpage August 19, 2008 at 11:59 am

Doesn’t this Obamba guy who’s running for the president realize that if he’s just pick TED NUGENT as his running mate, this thing would be wrapped up?! Geez gawd almighty!

TED NUGENT FOR VICE PRESIDENT IN 2008!

StewPie August 19, 2008 at 12:00 pm

As an ex-Virginian, living in NC, with a daughter working for the campaign in Indiana where this alleged VP p(r)ick is Senator, and who it seems attended law school at UVA, well…

I’m for Kaine, because he supports the Metro Silver Line which will solve all traffic problems around Tysons Corner and West Falls Church, where I once wandered about as a lad. If it were there back in the day, we’d have taken it to sneak into Woodside Lake.

Yep..a moderate Southern Governor.

That would be the wise choice.

Garble August 19, 2008 at 12:02 pm

If Hopey picks Biden and Walnuts picks Mittens we’ll have the entire hair spectrum represented with natural hair, plugs, combover, and wig.

Oscar Folsom Cleveland August 19, 2008 at 12:15 pm

Billary will do anything to fuck up Barry’s chances, even by buying CNN and running false flag “news”.

Where is Billo the Clown (O’Reilly, that is) when we need him?

DoctorCulturae August 19, 2008 at 12:17 pm

[re=62903]StewPie[/re]: Buh-bye Bayh. Sorry, someone had to say it.

S.Luggo August 19, 2008 at 12:20 pm

[re=62752]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: Maybe not so boring. Can you say, “Mark Foley”? http://farm1.static.flickr.com/40/118505449_c3626603bf.jpg

Oscar Folsom Cleveland August 19, 2008 at 12:26 pm

[re=62940]Oscar Folsom Cleveland[/re]: “Where is Billo the Clown (O’Reilly, that is) when we need him?”

Sorry, too much coffee….I meant Billo the Clown Kristol! Is he reporting that Lieberman is Barry’s Veep yet?

Godless Liberal * August 19, 2008 at 12:48 pm

I am sad that that is such a fake image. I was all set to sport my O HAI BAYH shirt.

CivicHoliday August 19, 2008 at 1:15 pm

Wow. Spooky. I actually had a nightmare last night that I was working for the Obama campaign and found out Bayh was going to be Veep and couldn’t get anybody to change their minds about it. (I have obviously been reading Wonkette too much – my brain is infested, and sleepytime is overrun with politics)

But seriously, we can’t have either Bayh or Biden. Because then the team would be OB – a brand of tampons. Nothing says lets-gross-out-white-dudes more than a tampon with no applicator.

lawrenceofthedesert August 19, 2008 at 1:26 pm

Obama from IL; Bayh from IN. Sec. of State will be from WI, Defense from MI, Agriculture from MO.

Secession once again rears its ugly head!

Hooray For Anything August 19, 2008 at 1:40 pm

[re=63040]lawrenceofthedesert[/re]: Still much better than a bunch of people from Texas, Regent University, and Mordor

KittyKatMan August 19, 2008 at 2:01 pm

Drudge has a gey siren, I think freepers should just have a rotating neuse.

I love Biden and I’m offended that some say Biden has hair plugs. They’re not plugs! They’re just husky follicles.

Darehead August 19, 2008 at 2:21 pm

[re=63019]CivicHoliday[/re]: Agreed, we don’t even have homosexuals in high pubic office, let alone bi’s and both are bi!

mlee1 August 19, 2008 at 2:52 pm

Quick rundown of various pointers to fakeness:

http://kitsch-posh.com/2008/08/19/evan-bayh/

Jingo August 20, 2008 at 12:50 am

Hearing the rumor that Obama released his VP choice via text, McCain jumped on the bandwagon and had his aides send out his veep choice via email. Unfortunately, his supporters still will not find out until the end of the month because they are busy wading through their inboxes, comparing prices for the cheapest viägrä and trying to contact lonely, hörny houséwivés whose husbands are always out of town. McCain would have emailed it himself, but computers scare him. They run on electricity and everyone knows electricity is the ejaculate of the Devil.

shitney August 21, 2008 at 10:56 am

was it just assumed this idiot intern is a woman? lame.

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