Wonkette
“Neoconservatism’s problem, and electoral advantage, is one and the same: By escalating international problems into monumental crises and impending threats, interventionists such as John McCain have been able to appear knowledgeable, ’serious,’ and presidentially tough, all at once. Any competitor preaching policy restraint and rhetorical prudence looks like a wuss in comparison.” This is why John McCain will win the presidency and we will be plunged into another decade of war and bankruptcy, concurrent with a precipitous decline into global irrelevance, loss of empire, roving zombie hordes, etc. [Reason]
hooooray!
Chicken Little and Peter (of Peter and the Wolf fame) say nyet.
Well, duh.
Hit that nail right on the head. Shit.
A vote for McCorpse is a vote for roving zombie hordes? I think I smell the next Obama commercial!
With McCain, we’ll be lucky if we make it past January 0f ‘09 without being consumed in a nuclear holocaust.
No, no, Jamacaine! We may all be Georgians now, but soon we will all be Zimbabweans with more zeroes on our money than the Nationals put on the scoreboard.
To some extent, this simplifies things for the next President. Zimbabwean foreign policy is simple: if you can make it to the border, you can be a foreigner! Yay!
Clearly, in order to get the votes of people who will never, ever, ever vote for a Democrat, Obama needs to threaten that if elected, he will immediately launch a nuclear war with anyone who even looks at us funny.
Can we get the roving zombie hordes to take out the three butt buddies on the left?
“This is why John McCain will win the presidency and we will be plunged into another decade of war and bankruptcy, concurrent with a precipitous decline into global irrelevance, loss of empire, roving zombie hordes, etc.”
I so hope this happens so I can say “Told ya so!” then pop more prozak and go to Osama Bin Laden’s yoga retreat.
We would never go to war with Zimbabwe, there’s actually a reason to.
The problem is that our military is exhausted and we’ve run out of punk ass countries we can invade without incurring a thermonuclear exchange. I see McSame invading Mexico.
…which explains why a country the size of S.Carolina that was formerly part of Russia and provokes the wrath of hell by purposely pissing on their shoes constitutes WWIII! I mean can someone please tell me why I/ME/YOU should give a flying rats azz as to whether or not Russia takes back Georgia or not? No one can! Which is why this retarded dip-shit of a plan will go down in a napalm fueled ball flames that will make WALNUTS! career as a “fighter pilot” look stellar by comparison.
villageatrois: As a native Washingtonian…that just hurts. True, but it hurts. Yes, we’ll know it’s bad when Mexican politicians win elections by pandering to the anti-american imigrant crowd. Of course, they will complain that we come and DON’T work.
pondscum: My God! Maybe that’s what happened to Purple Butt Girl! Oh, why did she have to go away! Why! WHY!!!
Unmentioned is the NeoCon’s other major problem, being piss weak pansies who find it much easier to start wars than fight in them.
weirdiowasculpture: I’m hoping she’s at the salon getting something done with that rasty hair.
But what about the unborn fetuses? If we go to war, we’ll kill all the fetuses. Jeebus will retreat to the cone of silence and never speak to us again.
Five and a half years?
What’s that, a thirtieth of his life (so far)?
My first marriage was six years, I laugh at five and a half……
Jerry w
http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com
John McCain For President!
Actually, with the handgun ban lifted, I’m kind of looking forward to the roving bands of zombies. Or is that zombie bands of roves. I’m confused.
pondscum: I will have you know, Pondscum, that you are talking about the woman I love.
…dont you guys long for the nostalgic days of brinkmanship?! When once a week you would practice ducking underneath your lead-lined, EM shielded, fall out proof, desk in an effort to protect you from a radioactive pulse caused by a 10 kiloton Soviet ICBM.
nietzscheprojectile: what kind of ammo do you use on zombies?
I for one welcome our new zombie overlords
Actually, just what IS McCain’s plan to protect us from roving bands of zombies? There’s nothing on his website about it. Talk about a policy gaffe . . .
AngryBlakGuy: Sounds like the hurricane’s getting closer. Quick someone! Get this man another mojito!
pondscum: Dum-dums.
What we need is a retirement home with a 1970’s simulator and a big War Room complete with a plexiglass map and banks of computers with blinking lights where we can put all these folks who desperately want to get their monolithic enemy fix on. Then they can play Defeat Communism/Islamofascism/Neo-Trotskyism/The Spanish Armada/Whatever to their hearts’ content and leave the actual adults to figure out how to deal with the real problems we have.
AngryBlakGuy:
The worst part is that a certain Fendi-loving SparklePrincess Secretary of State spent the past two years promising Georgia a hand job if it applied for Nato, even though Miss Cold War Expert should have known that would piss Russia off.
AngryBlakGuy: And that was before iPods and cell phones! Can you imagine what EMP would do to you while you’re on the phone? Probably melt the thing into molten copper and plastic slicing through your face. Nice!
Oh, come one, W looked into Putins eyes and saw a very nice man. When has W ever steered us wrong?
SayItWithWookies:
Starring Ferris Bueller, Ally Sheedy & Maurice from Northern Exposure.
Would-you-like-to-play-a-game-Senator-McCain?
McCain would do WW I all over again, except with less point and a greater number of deaths.
Botswana Meat Commission FC: Our consolation with Bush being elected was at least an oil guy would know what to do with oil prices; our consolation with Condi being StateSec is at least she’d know her way around Russia.
0-fer-2
Botswana Meat Commission FC: …watching this administration bumble, fumble and stumble the last few feet to the finish line is utterly frustrating. Condileeza Rice wouldnt be qualified to supervise the drive-thru window at the local What-a-Burger. And the fact that president of Georgia is such a fukk up that he actually believes the U.S. has absolutely any clout in that region of the world right now is tragically funny. The president Georgia deserves to be deposed just for that alone.
Oh yeah and I think Condi would have offered him a Blow-Job and not a Hand-Job. Hand-Jobs are for circumventing your countries constitution not starting wars!
pondscum: Hmmm. Good question. I know! Let’s ask Dick “Buckshot” Cheney…. (but more likely hollow point silver….)
SayItWithWookies: And, and Dr. Strangelove and antidotes to flouridation! Where is Slim Pickens when you need him?
weirdiowasculpture: I hope you and your purple butted children will be very happy…and have better hair!
pondscum: Not hangun rounds… Shotgun with buckshot or slugs, high powered hunting rifles (leave the .22 on the shelf), or automatic weapons. Of course lasers are preferable, but try getting a permit for a mobile laser cannon capable of incinerating flesh at 100 yards with all these damn hippy liberals around!
Could we work on the distinction between mindless zombie hordes and the general voting public? I’m slightly lost here…
Shouldn’t that be roving bands of hobos? Oh, wait. That’s the current crop of Hooverites. Bindlestiffs 4 McCain!
Botswana Meat Commission FC: Sussemilch: We had to read one of Condi’s books back when I was doing my MA, and there was nothing in it that suggested that she knew all that much about Russia. It hasn’t surprised me all that much how wrong she’s been about Russia and its Near Abroad.
Is it just me or is that American Apparel add to the left make the little boy/girl inside you feel violated? Speaking of roving zombie hordes…
TThe kind of war I see a Prez McWalnutz! getting us into will be hard- pressed to last a few hours…..we’ll just be sorting through the ashes for the next decade or so.
Grimnir: Do we really need to make a distinction? I’m just sayin…
Frankly, I think the title of this post sums up about 60% of the country. Jingoistic slogans exhorting the “troops” to kill them brown Furriners is about the height of discourse in this country. We have met the Morans and they is Us. Well, not us Wonketeers but …
Seek: WHO YOU NOT CALLIN’ A MORAN?
I speak for us all.
shortsshortsshorts: Well, most of us spell quite proficiently if nothing else.
I’m thinking a song parodying ‘Betty Davis Eyes’ only with ‘Vladi Putin Eyes’ would be suitable, but that takes..too much..energy ZzzzZZzzz.
Botswana Meat Commission FC: Miss Cold War Expert should have known that would piss Russia off
Hey, that’s not fair, they said everything after the Commonwealth of Independent States wouldn’t be on the final.
Street Organizer, Seek: I like to think that the reason that John McCain will win is because half of our nation is mentally retarded, and unfortunately, prone to voting.
SayItWithWookies: Pipe this into the Straight Talk Express and McThusela would shit an O-darkhundred, Ambien-filled brick.