DINGUSES  2:45 pm August 18, 2008

Your Bill Kristol Error Of The Week

by Jim Newell

In the third sentence of his column today, New York Times “lightning rod conservative” Bill Kristol hilariously calls himself “your diligent columnist.” This, perhaps knowingly, wonderfully set up his weekly error and scandalous cover-up.

From today’s print edition of his column:

NBC’s Andrea Mitchell reported on “Meet the Press” that “the Obama people must feel that he didn’t do quite as well as they might have wanted to in that context. … What they’re putting out privately is that McCain may not have been in the cone of silence and may have had some ability to overhear what the questions were to Obama.”

That’s pretty astonishing, since there seems to be absolutely no basis for the charge.

But oh look, there’s an article in “his” very newspaper today, the New York Times, proving that McCain wasn’t in Jesus’ Silence Cone listening to ABBA, as is his usual Saturday night activity.

Oh brother, it’s time to edit the version online, mmhmm yes it is, throw in some ellipses and shit:

NBC’s Andrea Mitchell reported on “Meet the Press” that “the Obama people must feel that he didn’t do quite as well as they might have wanted to in that context. … What they’re putting out privately is that McCain … may have had some ability to overhear what the questions were to Obama.”

There’s no evidence that McCain had any such advantage.

No correction is listed.

We now know, for a fact, that McCain heard every question beforehand and deviously planned his answers and dumb jokes — because Bill Kristol said he didn’t.

Showdown at Saddleback [NYT]
The Revisionist [HuffPo]

 
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{ 42 comments }

grendel August 18, 2008 at 2:48 pm

McCain got the answers on his shoe phone

InsidiousTuna August 18, 2008 at 2:48 pm

I love the “Dinguses” tag.

Liberty August 18, 2008 at 2:50 pm
capitol hillbilly August 18, 2008 at 2:50 pm

i refuse to read anything by this calzone with legs.

Another DC Lawyer (Again) August 18, 2008 at 2:51 pm

It’s the age old question, what came first? The Douche Bag or the Kristol?

ManchuCandidate August 18, 2008 at 2:52 pm

Bill Kristol, another argument against an Ivy League Edumakation.

Darehead August 18, 2008 at 2:55 pm

I like having this here “Bill Kristol Error Of The Week” as a regular thangy, but can we use a photo of the other Billy Crystal? My insurance only pays for one eye exam every two years and well, that mug is a little painful. Thank you.

Spence August 18, 2008 at 2:57 pm

Can we please put a cone of silence around Bill Kristol?

TGY August 18, 2008 at 2:59 pm

Only *one* error? He’s on a roll.

SayItWithWookies August 18, 2008 at 2:59 pm

[re=62173]Darehead[/re]: I know this is an important part of American history, but this is really disturbing. I wish you had chosen another image.

Serolf Divad August 18, 2008 at 3:01 pm

Before it’s all over Kristol’s column will read:

What they’re putting out privately is that Warren was actually a ventriloquist and it was his voice, not McCain’s that was being heard when McCain’s lips were seen to move. Also, that the Bigfoot corpse is real.

Which is absurd.

SuperRounder August 18, 2008 at 3:03 pm

It’s nice to know that Billy occasionally pulls his nose away from his asscrack long enough to try to shit someone else. Not at all suprising that he keeps missing though.

SuperRounder August 18, 2008 at 3:04 pm

It’s nice to know that Billy occasionally pulls his nose away from his asscrack long enough to try to shit on someone else. Not at all suprising that he keeps missing though.

Whiskeybaby August 18, 2008 at 3:06 pm

Rarely has a man so richly deserved a heartfelt punch in the nuts.

InsidiousTuna August 18, 2008 at 3:07 pm

[re=62189]SuperRounder[/re]: Whoa, deja vu.

SuperRounder August 18, 2008 at 3:07 pm

[re=62189]SuperRounder[/re]: [re=62187]SuperRounder[/re]: It’s ok. I like the taste of crow. If you deep fry it and cover it with chocolate, it only kind of tastes like defeat.

AngryBlakGuy August 18, 2008 at 3:08 pm

…does it actually take any effort to be this much of an idiot?!

Servo August 18, 2008 at 3:09 pm

[re=62163]capitol hillbilly[/re]:
Win!

NotUrEvryDayWEzl August 18, 2008 at 3:15 pm

[re=62197]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: Well, if you count the effort of the keystrokes…

obfuscator August 18, 2008 at 3:16 pm

If Walnuts had advance notice of the “What defines ‘rich’?” question and fucked it that hard, he’s got problems.

GlennBecksTaint August 18, 2008 at 3:18 pm

why the Times continues to allow this limp-wristed debutante to smear his chickenhawk feces into their paper is beyond comprehension.

weirdiowasculpture August 18, 2008 at 3:19 pm

[re=62173]Darehead[/re]: If we’re forced to look at his actual photo, the least Wonkette can do is come up with a seething hate-filled mouseover to go with it.

MargeSimpsonsBlackFriend August 18, 2008 at 3:22 pm

[re=62203]obfuscator[/re]: You are misunderstanding Juan. What he was trying to say is, it doesn’t matter if you can buy groceries or fill your gas tank, as long as you have love!

WhatTheHeck August 18, 2008 at 3:27 pm

[re=62176]Spence[/re]:
No can do. That would be cruel. Neocons don’t like living ia a silent world.
They love the sound of bombs exploding, cannons and guns blazing.
They like to blow shit up.
Oh, and they like the sound of lies coming off the newsprint.

Canmon (the Inadequate) August 18, 2008 at 3:29 pm

If Obama would just stop losing debates he would not have to come up with any more excuses.

Scooter August 18, 2008 at 3:38 pm

Spellcheck messed up the line “your diligent journalist”. Dele and replace “diligent” with “dildo gent” to restore meaning.

Advocatus_Diaboli August 18, 2008 at 3:41 pm

oh shit, something Billy Kristol said is wrong?!!

I guess I have to rethink all of my positions.

Mr. Herpes August 18, 2008 at 3:42 pm

Obama won just by showing up. He was never gonna persuade the Bible thumpers to vote for him because he won’t criminalize women who have abortions. So McCain was gonna get the nod by default, because he’d just about say anything now — that he saw Jesus in his waterbucket in the Hanoi Hilton, that God has forgiven him for fucking out on his first wife — whatever. But Obama didn’t dodge the event, made Christian noises, and looked young and earnest. McCain, no matter what, always looks like he’s modeling caskets. And nobody believes anything he says anymore.

Mo MoDo August 18, 2008 at 3:48 pm

We would hate to have his perfect record tainted. Where does he stand on the Georgia invasion so we know what we shouldn’t do?

lawrenceofthedesert August 18, 2008 at 3:48 pm

Obama’s answers were far more Christian and intelligent, but he needs to stop helping McCain sell himself to conservatives. Painting Walnuts as a conservative only helps his cause, blurry as it might be. McCain’s biggest weakness is on the right — successfully question his conservative credentials, and they stay home.

loudmouthredhead August 18, 2008 at 3:56 pm

Of course I ask for this post on Billy and then miss when you guys actually do it :( That will teach me to actually “work” at work.

Why, oh why, must we pander to these religious nutbars?! What’s next, a Hindu forum? A pagan forum? This country is supposed to keep these things out of the public sphere. I hate how Christians act like they own the place and that it’s their way or nothing gets done…

Rev. Fatass and his Blazing Saddle (er, Saddleback) cultists (er, parishioners) need to not take themselves so seriously.

loudmouthredhead August 18, 2008 at 4:00 pm

“Revrund, I can name that foreign policy in two words!”
“OK, here you go: Evil!”
“Is it…..Defeat it?”
*crowd goes wild*

Sorry Barry, nuance be damned!

Garble August 18, 2008 at 4:05 pm

Bill Kristol am bizzaro Cassandra. Him say things that are turn out not so, yet everyone listen him anyway.

Not_So_Much August 18, 2008 at 4:13 pm

[re=62208]weirdiowasculpture[/re]: Agree — especially with the way he’s holding that finger that he clearly just pulled from his(?) ass…

pdiddycornchips August 18, 2008 at 4:13 pm

I wonder why Billy boy chose this subject matter to write about rather than the crisis in Georgia.
One would think with his robust support for war everywhere for nearly everything, he would be beating the drum for bombing somebody. He seems to really enjoy bombing people to make a geopolitical point. Could it be this adventure in Georgia doesn’t interest him because there are no brown skinned people to bomb this time?

HedonismBot August 18, 2008 at 4:15 pm

WALNUTS was not in his cone of silence because he and Darth Cheney were snuggled up together in a hyperbolic chamber built for two, snacking on placental extractions and receiving transfusions from the blood of the innocent. I hear God answers all questions inside the Jebus Box.

Gopherit v2.0 August 18, 2008 at 4:15 pm

[re=62163]capitol hillbilly[/re]: calzone=full of cheese and sausage?
Yeah, that fits.

pdiddycornchips August 18, 2008 at 4:22 pm

[re=62288]loudmouthredhead[/re]:

“Why, oh why, must we pander to these religious nutbars?!”

Rick Warren is the Diet Coke of religion.

gurukalehuru August 18, 2008 at 4:28 pm

I say they should do a do-over and McCain should be visible within the cone of silence, in HD, with scary music, the whole time Barry is speaking, while Cindy fellates overweight, tattooed bikers on Stage B.

RuperttheBear August 18, 2008 at 4:29 pm

Emailed the Public Editor on this.

Yeah. So there’s that.

Borat August 18, 2008 at 5:06 pm

well, mccain has closed the deal for me now. he has to be a superhero, he:
-has ‘special’ or ‘some kind of’ abilities which appear to give him superhuman hearing
-survived 5 1/2 YEARS! with only buttsecks in the ‘Nam
-he occasionally gets taken over by the ghosts of squirells (hense walnuts)

Then again special abilities could be of the special olympics variety

slinkimalinki August 18, 2008 at 10:28 pm

if “lightning rod conservative” means he gets nailed to the top of a building i’m all for it.

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