Wonkette
We sort of already mentioned this, but apparently not enough, as every single email tip to Wonkette today is about the Invincible Cone of Silence and how John McCain was in his “straight talk” limo watching porn instead of humbly contemplating the Terrible Mystery of Jebus within Rick Warren’s meth-massage Silence Cone. But how is this Barack Obama’s fault?
Simple: A game of chance was involved, called a “coin toss.” This result of this gambling was that Barack Obama, a known poker player and favorite candidate of God/Fate, won the coin toss. So he got to go first at the Saddleback Church non-debate about who loves Jesus the most. What was lonesome John McCain supposed to do, follow the rules and stay in the Silence Cone? Fuck that shit. John McCain is a billionaire maverick and the only thing he hates more than Jesus or common people is following rules.
So he just cold hung out in his limo or bus or whatever, and then he got caught, and his campaign sent an angry letter to NBC for somehow also causing McCain to get caught breaking the basic rules of Christianity.
Despite Assurances, McCain Wasn’t in a ‘Cone of Silence’ [NYT]
Rules are for little people, and Negroes.
He was just chilling in the Straight Talk Bus’s Masturbatorium.
They both read Rick Warren’s book and answered accordingly. They both completely kissed ass. Everyone needs to get over it. It was laughable.
Gee, it’s not like his answers weren’t polished or anything and the audience didn’t LOVE his newly found evangelical faith….
You forgot to mention that he is a FORMER PRISONER OF WAR.
Walnuts was living the “fighter” pilot’s maxim:
“If you ain’t cheatin, you ain’t trying.”
The insinuation that John McCain, a former prisoner of war, was running late, is outrageous.
I like his spokeswoman’s response, ‘bluster, bluster, HE WAS A POW. How DARE they question him.” Pretty soon they’ll be asking for donations of $5.50 (FIVE AND A HALF YEARS, ALAN!).
Prediction: by sometime next week, McCain will have to admit that, well, yes, actually he sorta did overhear some of the questions beforehand because his limmo driver was listening to the debate on the way there. But he made a solemn vow on the tombs of his fallen POW comrades that he would answer the questions exactly the same way he would have answered them if he hadn’t overheard, so it’s all OK.
And the press, of course, will totally buy it.
There was furor that a Former POW would be accused of cheating at something. He used that line on his first wife about his innocent friendships with other ladies, and also with the FBI during the Keating Five investigation. He probably gets out of speeding tickets too. Though in McCain’s defense, he’s old enough to remember when there weren’t radios or cell phones in cars, so he might have thought that since he wasn’t near a telegraph office, he was going to be incommunicado.
defeatism: Cone of Silence = SADDLEBACK HILTON.
The outright lie about the cone of silence now makes me wonder when and where Hopey and Dopey got together for this alleged “coin toss.”
Thou shalt get thine ass kicked around the House of the Lord.
Spokeswhore Nicollle Wallllace, feigning indignation, sputtered “The insinuation from the Obama campaign that John McCain, a former prisoner of war, cheated is outrageous.”
FIVE AND A HALF YEARS, YOU UNGRATEFUL MONGRELS! FIVE AND A HALF YEARS!
defeatism: johnbpt: Texan Bulldoggette: Ditto, ditto and ditto.
THEY’RE the ones that have been calling it the “librul media” for decades, and then an inkling of truth is said and the right wing gets “Outraged” again…
NBC should quote the Great Dick, So?
He wasn’t technically in the ‘House of the Lord’ at the time, so lying is totally acceptable.
This is why veterans benefits for POWs are so easy to administer- you just put a buch of cash in a warehouse and they come by and take as much as they need.
POW’s never sneak money out of the bank when they are playing monopoly.
You can’t play pickup basketball with a POW because they are constantly calling fouls on themselves.
POW gymnasts are always the correct age.
This is embarassing. Hopey and the unicorns should shut up.
edgydrifter: Assume for the moment McCain gets elected, and sometime in February decides to confront Putin, who by then is consolidating Russian control in Hungary and Poland. McCain calls Putin and tells him, “Listen, Vlad, I spend FIVE AND A HALF YEARS in the Hanoi Hilton, and I’m not scared of anything you can do!”
And Putin says, “Listen, Juan…I knew you were there. Who do you think was bankrolling the North Vietnamese–Ross Perot? Don’t do anything rash, because I’ve got 8 x 10 stills of you groveling and weeping for mercy, and ratting out your fellow prisoners.”
Someone here needs to bring in the POW angle.
edgydrifter: McCain was a former prisoner of war? I coulda sworn the Spartans took no prisoners.
And great for Rick Warren to say he had no idea that McCain wasn’t even in the building while he was saying he had been placed in a cone of silence. Far be it from a guy who believes that death was conferred on us because a talking snake convinced a girl to eat a fig 6,000 years ago to utter a statement without evidence to back it up.
Ooooh, cone of silence. Could McCain just stay there for, uhh, like five and a half years, or so?
John has no fear of incarceration from human authority figures. He merely told Pastor Rick to terminate Obama’s life functions by throwing him into the lion’s den.
Dear God, apply sufficient pressure to McCain’s blunt, pointed mangy skull and Pastor Rick’s abundant abdominal mass.
I wouldn’t use the cone of silence either.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uqcSWI6Ppks&feature=related
If God had meant for WALNUTS! to be in a cone of silence, he wouldn’t have invented tv/radio.
Oh, yeah. 5 AND A HALF YEARS!!!!
From the NYT article: Mr. McCain had not heard the broadcast of the event while in his motorcade and heard none of the questions.
Sounds like a non-denial denial if I ever heard one. Doesn’t mean someone else didn’t hear the questions and give Walnuts the answers.
STFU, you trollop cone!
Oh and 5 and a half years of torture probably means you ain’t mentally fit to lead, doesn’t it Walnuts? Seriously. 5 and a half years of being tied up, beaten, incarcerated and alone. We used to do that at Alcatraz and the fucking inmates would kill people when they got out because they weren’t fit to live in society anymore, much less be POTUS.
He was reading Warren’s new book The Limo Driven Life
Servo: WhatTheHeck: If he’s in the House of Lords, where’s his damn wig? What? Oh, sorry…my bad.
The Soldiers of Christianity are infallible. To question their character is to condemn your soul to reincarnate as a foreigner.
Monsieur Grumpe: Hee hee! I’d love to see Walnuts in THAT cone.
shortsshortsshorts: My boyfriend likes that stuff and he’s a CEO.
Rick Warren should go back to making those super cool snowboard crash movies.
Pastor Rick was caught in a Purpose-Driven Lie.
Yeah, I know I posted that before, but it’s back by popular demand. [Me.]
As for McCain, why are y’all so surprised? Like a deadbeat who graduated at the bottom of his class wouldn’t cheat?
I scored the match as a win for Obama. He got to do his Christian thing in front of all the people who are busy blogging about him being a secret Jihadist. Ain’t no Muslims that are pro-choice. McCain was so totally believable, right? It was like he was trying to remember his cover story under interrogation. Oh yeah. That’s my real name. Joe Christian.
A limo? Is the Straight-Talk Express still in the shop after it crushed that disabled veteran in Florida?
Pastor Ick got Cindy to play horsey in exchange for the cone lie. Cindy knows what to do in the Saddleback, you know.
…has the whole POW thing become the new “race card”? Anytime someone accuses you of something, simply say “are you asking me that because I’m black”? Its become apparent that anytime they get a little bit of push back the first thing they are going to refer to is him being a POW. Honestly with all the gaffs that he has committed, they are going to completely burn that narrative out if they continue to use it as a shield. He is running the risk of being turned into a 9u11iani like character that is seen as a 1 trick pony.
P.S.
I refer to the race card in
the context of people are
abusing it for personal
gain.
shortsshortsshorts:
I’m willing to bet that the men in his division got pretty comfy with their boss’ absence. They probably through a “Good riddance, Dirtbag” party on their next port call to Olongapo.
Ohh, you wanted *fairness*. You should’ve said.
I don’t think it really matters, either. Hopey’s pandering too much anyway. I’d rather see a black muslim, anyway.
TGY: I’d rather see Michael Phelps, author of “A Porpoise Driven Life.”
But, compromises must be made in these United States.
Two questions:
Who the fuck is Rick Warren?
Why does Barry get blamed for everything now? In Chicago he’s being blamed for everyone being shot around here.
The limo had to drive around the block a few times so McCorpse could memorize the cross in the dirt story.
weirdiowasculpture: Win.
Makeithurt: Your boyfriend is into torture? That I can believe.
From NYT: “The insinuation from the Obama campaign that John McCain, a former prisoner of war, cheated is outrageous,” Ms. Wallace said.”
Wha? I really don’t see the connection. Seriously. I mean… yeah… POW … awesome, but what the fu** are you talking about?
Question to Pastor Rick Warren: What is your greatest moral failure?
“I supported George W. Bush in the last elections, and called ever pastor and VIP in the nation, cuz I got all their personal phone numbers ya know, and told them they would BURN IN HELL if they didn’t support Bush.”
Question to Pastor Rick Warren: What is America’s greatest moral failure?
“America listened to me. All the sins of these 8 years, they are my fault.”
(Well hey, we can dream can’t we?”)
Darehead: Hopey’s greatest moral failure was smoking weed. He is so close to perfect. That’s bad news for the legalize-its.
I didn’t see it so what did Barry say to the “what’s your greatest moral failure” question? What did McCain say? Did the answer involve a vietcong transvestite hooker for either of them?
He must have smoked a massive amount of weed for it to have such gravity. Or perhaps he thought, what do these folks object to in my past? Let me make my moral failure that. Same with McTwotimer.
shortsshortsshorts: Didn’t know you were an ex-con, Shorts3. Or are you still in the pen now?
V572625694: No, but I frequently attend for conjugal visits. Nothing like taken it from a 45 year-old 300 pound rapist-murderer.
pdiddycornchips: Barry said drugs when young, McCain said first marriage. But nobody asked Pastor Rick.
http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/opinion/375160_grahamonline16.html
V572625694: And why doesn’t the superscript HTML tag work on this site?
I prefer Marble Slab’s ice cream cone of silence.
shortsshortsshorts: I’ll bet! I wonder how many convicts have internet access, and for how long, or for how many Pall Malls per minute. Maybe you can fill me in. Maybe Ken Layne managing edits this blog from the Supermax in Florence, CO.
As a former child (eighteen and a half years, people!), I say “Liar liar, pants on fire!” to to the McCain camp. As a former annoying asshole, I continue with “STFU with the tired references to McCain’s POW status if you want us to shut up about his being an adulterous prick.” And, just in case nobody’s noticed this before: He’s old.
McCain’s looking like Maxwell Smart (same skill/intelligence/guile) because he talks into his shoe, but about as successful as KAOS. Too bad that McCain’s Agent 99 is an in the closet Rove disciple and not Barbara Feldman.
natoslug: On behalf of the Olds, let me reply: uhh, what was the question? And another thing: no wonder he wouldn’t get into the Tiger Cage of Silence. And another ‘nother thing: being an an adulterous prick is not even in my top ten moral failings. So there!
I remember the movie where Richard Pryor was a prisoner of war, and said his name was:
Miehoff, Jack Miehoff…
Did McOldfart use “Dick Gazinya” or “Ben Dover” as his prison name?
Jerry w
http://www. boskolives.wordpress.com
Darehead:
Thanks. Drug use as an adolescent and cheating on the spouse don’t even make my top 100.
TGY: I can’t prose worth shit. Good thing I can math.
When I was in the Air Force and working as a flight line mechanic on F-4 Phantoms (aka babyburners), I had to deal with short ego driven pilots like McFiveandahalfyears on a daily basis.
90% of them were total assholes that were sure that their shit didn’t stink.
If you follow a google search on these words: “Air force academy - evangelical Christian” you will see why that ratio is so high.
By the way, the hero of the Vietnamese military with the most American aircraft destroyed is John McCain
I’m just sayin…….
Jerry w
http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com
jerryw: Can we count Arizona as government property McCain’s wrecked?
FIVE AND A HALF YEARS, ALAN!!!
pdiddycornchips: Word.
ARE YOU QUESTIONING JOHN MCCAIN’S INTEGRITY?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n83M-jgOaJQ
defeatism: Strictly for the Tardcore: for FIVE and a HALF YEARS.
Beaten everyday. EVERY DAY.
ps. I don’t like Christians. Rick Warren is Christian. I don’t like Rick Warren.
RuperttheBear: Sounds like my catholic grade school experience.
pdiddycornchips: You’re a lawyer, then?
shortsshortsshorts: Second the motion.
Wait, did WALNUTS! even answer? He Said “My First Marriage tanked. But America’s Moral Failure is blah blah blah.”
All he said was “It didn’t work out.” He didn’t say “I fucked this ho,” or “I gave that ex-bitch a little slappin’ around,” or whatever he did.
WALNUTS! just turned and started yapping “my friends, you ‘merican people have fucked everything up royally, and it’s going to take King ‘NUTS! to stomp some towel-head guts out. 5.5 my friends!!!”
Friggin’ old coot. Go practice your “bunker shot.” GOD!
confusionanddelay<: Question J. Sidney McCain’s integrity? No, sir, never. He has never had a smidgeon of integrity. I never meant to imply that he did, sir! I would never questioned his unblemished record, sir!
It doesn’t matter where McCain was during Obama’s segment. Pastor Rick Warren assures us that he did not hear any of Barack’s answers. How does he know? He removed the batteries from McCain’s hearing aids the day before. Why didn’t McCain just replace them you ask? An unnamed source paraphrased John saying he was happy not to have to listen to that “c-word” Cindy for a day.
V572625694: Probably there are videos of him telling everything he knews and more.
pdiddycornchips: Probably triple headers in Olongapo.
As usual this is all mixed up, you dummies are on a Third grade reading level.
This is actually a picture of Joe Biden at Michele and my Wedding, I have another cute pic of Michele sitting on Joes’ head, he had the cutiest little black mustache.
Joe and I will Rape Americas’ sons & daughters.