Wonkette
Some mega-suburban evangelical church in Southern California will be the scene of the most epic political battle since Jesus took on the Romans: Saturday at 5 p.m. (8 p.m. Eastern), Obama and McCain will be locked in soundproof glass torture chambers while a goateed “powerful evangelical” hobbit will chillingly ask them questions about religions and whatnot.
Saddleback Church is in Lake Forest, which is one of those mysterious housing developments somewhere between Los Angeles and the Mexican border. There are 22,000 people in this suburb and they all go to Saddleback Church every day. Because of this, whenever famous Saddleback evangelical pastor Rick Warren telephones the presidential candidates, they have to take his call, or he’ll send his army of 22,000 orcs to take unholy revenge.
(As the good reverends Jimmy Swaggart, Jim Bakker, Henry Lyons, Jim Jones and Ted Haggard can attest, being the Top Evangelical Leader in America usually doesn’t last that long, so we hope Pastor Warren will make the best of his big day.)
This is a major news event, this McCain-Obama non-debate, in a church, because Obama’s back from vacation and John McCain is around, as well. Look how terrible this will be:
Warren will separately question McCain and Obama for about an hour. A coin toss determined that Obama, the presumptive Democratic presidential nominee, will answer questions first. Warren will then ask McCain, the presumptive Republican presidential nominee, the same questions. McCain will not be able to hear Obama’s responses, Warren told the Fox News Channel.
The loser will be locked in a coffin full of live rats.
Also: Bob Barr is now suing the church so he, too, can be locked in an underwater torture booth and be electrocuted until he says how much he love the Baby Jesus.
(We may or may not live-blog this thing tomorrow. It sounds pretty … lame. So if we don’t live-blog it — and instead try to enjoy our last weekend before the convention/convention Denver/St. Paul massacre that will utterly consume our lives — go ahead and talk about it here.)
Obama, McCain to court evangelical voters at mega-church [Canada.com]
Ha… Barack Obama in a Christian church? That’s like a Muslim not killing infidels. Baffling.
Why doesn’t this all end? Why must we wait until Nov? Why do people from such an obviously uber-homo church have anything to say (honestly, Saddleback)?
I wish I could vote for soomeone who doesn’t believe in MagicSexyJeebus.
Baffling!
One night-night-night-night-only-only-only!!!!
The Agey vs Hopey in an Epic Battle of the Christian Candidates-dates-dates-dates!!!!!!
See Rev Rick help find God’s Pick.
It’s the Prez Smack at the Saddleback!!
Who will be the MIGHTIEST CHRISTIAN of the bunch? You have to show up to find out-out-out-out!!!
Bob Fucking Barr wants in, Oh my Jeebus God, there goes the last refuge for the non-fundie libertarian. Look at the comments starting up:
Barr SHOULD’VE taken this opportunity to announce his opposition to such rediculous laws.
Totally unlibertarian….Bob Barr is a disgrace to the LP, to libertarianism, and anyone who can still support his candidacy after this… I’ll hold my tongue.
Isn’t Saddleback Church a gay bar?
Isn’t “saddlebacking” part of pony play? I can’t wait ’till the good Revrund Warren busts out the horsetail buttplugs.
Cicada:
Actually, the only thing more likely to make McCain more uncomfortable than horsetail buttplugs is questions about his faith. Hmmmm…this might be worth watching after all.
This is so wacky! They’re gonna put Obama in a soundproof booth, and ask McCain “What’s Obama’s WORST habits!” or “If Obama was a car, what would he be?” or “Be honest: What’s the WACKIEST place you think Obama’s ever ‘made whoopie?’”, and after writing it on a sheet of paper, Obama will be led into the studio where they’ll compare answers by holding up what they wrote down and I’m sure hilarity will ensue!
Who knew Comic Book Guy had his own church? Yo, Priest of Porkchops, look up the “Sin of Gluttony” sometime
the most epic political battle since Jesus took on the Romans
Actually, not. The battle will be continued the next day by Shadow Values Summit on rEVOLution Broadcasting.
http://www.chuckbaldwinforum.com/revolution-broadcasting-all-day-sunday-wait-until-see-t-543.html
The Chuck-a-thon raises funds for “Constitution Party” Candy-dude Pastor/Doctor/RonPaul Rubbered-Stamped Buttboy Baldwin, and stars your favorite fundie Paultards such as
Swiftboating Jerome Corsi and whiney-shminey Thomas E. Woods, Jr. etc.
They think McCain, Obama and Warren are ALL the big Anti-Christ because they are ALL Illuminati New World Order Globalists.
Here is the beginning of the Constitution Party preamble (on its main homepage), and it gets worse. Saddleback Church looks normal by comparison:
The Constitution Party gratefully acknowledges the blessing of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ as Creator, Preserver and Ruler of the Universe and of these United States. We hereby appeal to Him for mercy, aid, comfort, guidance and the protection of His Providence as we work to restore and preserve these United States.
We like to think of Lake Forest in terms of the “Rancid Truth Housing Blog,” which somehow lives there…
http://rancid-truth.blogspot.com/2008/08/how-to-sell-800000-home-in-lake-forest.html
Darehead:
I welcome our Constitution Party Overlords. Lord knows, the overlords we have now never heard of the constitution. The ruler of the universe part does seem a bit beyond the scope of the constitution, though, so….
I take it back. No welcome party here….. Just a friendly nod as I’m led off to debtor’s prison.
Rick Warren is also a Big Fruit, apparently…
http://boss.streamos.com/wmedia/svcc/followchrist/salvation_low.wvx
When did someone’s personal faith become a requirement for the office of president of the USA? I missed that memo. I thought your choice/nonchoice of a religious preference was part of the freedom granted an American, sorta like nobody has to know who you voted for (or by god, they shouldn’t unless you open your big stupid yap) .
And, why is there no fallout @ these 2 candidates being questioned @ their personal religious beliefs? Who cares, as long as neither of the candidates try to enforce their said beliefs on all the rest of us as a requirement for life.
And finally, you can get your candidate to say or do anything @ religion (regarding Christianity anyway) because these twits want to get elected no matter what they have to do. This precedent is evil, and sucks big-time… They’re all whores!! Amen and goodnight!
Ok, wait a minute….. this IS the USA, right? Continent to west of Eastern Europe and north of Brazil?
ManchuCandidate: Sabado! Sabado! Sabado!
The idea of live blogging this crapfest makes McCain’s Vietnam vacation look damn appealing. I assume the potential event will involve plenty of wonkettinis and maybe some possible divine interventions as coping mechanisms?
O now u atak my hoam town? (yes north of Chicago you arugala eating elitist.)
Advantage: Obama. He has spoken at Warren’s church before, and if memory serves me correctly, was well received. And Obama’s actually a religious dude, unlike McCain, who just plays one on TV.
Words: Nobody expects the American Inquisition.
Even a copy machine deserves more love.
I luvs me some brokeback churchin’.
tunamelt:
I blame the liberal American press for this!!! Plus, The American Inquisition is not as sneaky or experienced as . . . . THE SPANISH INQUISITION!! But they’re double-booked: Russia trying to get them to Georgia and there’s a dispute about a contract the US had w/them in Iraq that we failed to deliver on…… And so it goes.
@Ken Layne:
When I find you tomorrow morning, there will be much Vacation Layne action. Share.
I can’t wait!! The evangelicals will watch the teevee, they will watch the radio, there will be pork rinds, and then there will be a Lottery.
Everybody must get stoned.
Smoke Filled Roommate: The harvest will be excellent this year.
Smoke Filled Roommate: Ah yes, Stoned, That Lottery. It used to be in June.
“Although the villagers had forgotten the ritual and lost the original black box, they still remembered to use stones.
http://www.americanliterature.com/Jackson/SS/TheLottery.html
Is Rick Warren going to eat that dove?
Darehead: The Constitution Party gratefully acknowledges the blessing of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ as Creator, Preserver and Ruler of the Universe and of these United States. We hereby appeal to Him for mercy, aid, comfort, guidance and the protection of His Providence as we work to restore and preserve these United States.
Jebus > God?
TJBeck: Probably! But it doesn’t matter, God vs. Jeebus, since they attract followers by their appeal to end-times/Anti-Christ/anti-NWO. It’s one of the ways they unify the atheist Paultards and über-fundie Paultards.
graceless: No, he burped it out. He needs to chew his food better.
McCain probably won’t be phased by spending an hour in a sound-proofed booth. After all he did spend FIVE AND A HALF YEARS in a Vietnamese POW camp.
I beseech thee, Lucifer, to make your way over to Lake Forest (btw, which is it?) and smite these dunderheads for helping to continue the gutting of the separation of church+state; and if you’re too busy elsewhere, please send your dogged deputy, Dick Cheney.
Keep up the good work.
So, we have a political version of “The Newlywed Game,” hosted by a semi-fundy who’ll apply a religious means test to see who wins? And the winning candydate is the one who displays greatest fealty to Heebus-Jeebus?
And the consolation prize for the runner-up is what? Samsonite luggage and TRUCK NUTZ?
Fuck that nonsense. If Pastor Rick wants to give us a true glimpse into the candydates’ souls, he should preside over a “Newlywed Game,” in which Hopey, Michey, Dopey and Cunty are asked to predict their spouses’ responses to a series of questions. That would display for all to see who these people really are…. much hilarity ensues.
Nobody can strip a person bare and leave them hoist by their own petard like Bob Eubanks.
Nobody expects the Saddleback Inquisition!!!
Canuckledragger: Young ‘uns might not remember, so:
1. What candy bar would your spouse choose to describe your style of making love? (Snickers, Zero, Payday, $100,000 bar, Mounds, Big Hunk, etc)?
2. Which song best describes your first date? (Sea of Love, Maneater, Separate Ways, Our Lips are Sealed, or Cold as Ice)
3. When it comes to home improvement your wife considers you to be?
A. Tim the tool man, (makes the job worse) B. Bob the builder, (forever starting new projects without completing the old)
C. Al, (does it right the first time) D. Clueless
4. Ladies, who initiated your first kiss?
5. How does your husband like his coffee?
6. If your husband died and came back as a dog, what breed would he be?
And when the husband gets the answer wrong, the wife playfully bops him on the head with her answer card.
I hope Rick doesn’t ask the contestents “Where is the strangest place you made Whoopie?”
Words: “When did someone’s personal faith become a requirement for the office of president of the USA?”
I know you’re busy putting away your time machine right now, but what was life like back in the late 18th century?
mattbolt: In the butt Bob!
mattbolt: Mea culpa. You’re idea first.
Uh oh, I see some problems already with Obama and Warren’s pro-”Bacon Double Cheeseburger” stance. Apparently, Warren has some sin exemptions.
But CNN is so excited about this! Campbell squirted all over the situation room floor.
Agony booth?
o’ says at 12:53 am, August 16th, 2008:
I wish I could vote for soomeone who doesn’t believe in MagicSexyJeebus.
Hey o’, I’m over here in the cheap seats. Write me in, Dude.
I not only can’t walk on water or make wine out of anything but grapes,
but when I’m dead, I’ll stay dead. None of that 3 day bounceback crap.
Jerry w
http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com
mattbolt: ooops, mea culpa me too. Now I have to go to mega-church to repent.
Fox News will bug Hussein’s booth so WALNUTS! and his chums can hear his answers.
I was going to start my own church and call it the Church of Good Eating. Looks like the Pastor Rick Warren beat me to it.
Speaking of repenting, Dobson may or may not be sorry about the “rain” video, and tried to get all the YouTubes of it pulled:
http://www.thecarpetbaggerreport.com/archives/16578.html
I thought that according to the media narrative, John McCain was Jesus up until the 2008 campaign when he began sinning and hanging out with Karl Rove.
Let’s all pray for torrential rain in Lake Forrest.
I will be happier when people actually understand what the evangelical movement is really about. It’s got a lot to do with that “one world religion” the AntiChrist is supposed to herald. It’s more of a eschatological concept than a political movement.
GET IT RIGHT, DAMMIT!
tunamelt: Win!
EnBuenOra: McCain was the cool dude’s Jeebus cuz he openly expressed his hatred of them.
http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/0002/28/se.01.html
Then when he decided to run for prez he started getting in bed with the fundies one by one to kiss and make up.
But it didn’t work so well; fundies were not convinced.
So finally the McCain camp’s anti-Christening of Obama has started to bring the fundies back to him. There’s nothing McCain could do to promote himself for the fundies but many agree on the need to prevent the dark, self-anointed, falsely worshipped one from taking over these United States and the universe.
cal: Amen. I’m in, cuz Barry surfs.
It’s going to be painful looking at the fat guys after a week of shirtless Barry and Phelps & co.
Darehead: “them” = Robertson, Falwell etc.
Q: So Senator, when the Lord comes back and lifts his chosen ones into heaven and the years of torment and damnation rip the world asunder, and famine stalks the world and aborted fetuses litter the streets and the Whore of Babylon suckles the dogs of war — will you regret having voted to let the tax cuts for the rich, which George Bush used to SAVE AMERICA, expire?
A: Uh…
mattbolt: uh oh.. I hope that when Comic Book Guy asks Hopey “What part of Agey’s body would you change if you could?” Hopey says “Nothing.” and not “His walnuts.” otherwise it will be a long, cold night on the couch!
graceless: From looking at his picture, I would say, yes. He will eat that dove, along with a side of ribs, a whole fried chicken, two hams (one smoked, the other sugar cured), a cow, two chocolate cakes and a diet coke.
When I first read this post I thought it said “an army of orcas” rather than “army of orcs”. That picture doesn’t help matters and neither does my assumption that megachurch members are all overweight suburbanites in need of cushy stadium style seating instead of a good ol’ fashioned hard pew with kneelers.
springfield_meltdown: The fat people don’t need the cushy stadium seating. My bony white ass, on the other hand, would definitely prefer a church that had soft seats. And one that didn’t do any of that God stuff. And that served scrambled eggs and mimosas and had cute waitresses. Yeah, that’s my kinda church.
StripesAndPlaids: But hey, at least the coke is diet.
Darehead: Friendly reminder: Falwell’s dead now, by which I mean he is sitting comfortably on Jebus’s lap, whispering sweet nothings into his ear about The Gay Plague, and making last-minute arrangements for flash floods in Denver.
Praise Jebus.
Garyosu: Yeah, but pastor Rick would no doubt respond, “What’s strange about that?”
HedonismBot: Also, Falwell’s on the phone, inviting Jesse Helms over for tea and a game of “Hide the Cross.”
They’re putting the homoerotic “fun” back into “fundamentalism!” Tinky Winky will be there soon enough.
..so this will be on the teevee? Is anyone watching it/what channel?
Q. Why are you in favor of killing babies?
A. Well, I take exception to you phrasing it that way. In my mind, being “pro-life” means taking care of people, people who can’t take care of themselves, not just up to birth, but afterwards as well. We need health care and increased funding for education to make sure our children are taken care of. We need to fix social security and welfare to make sure the sick and infirm are cared for. Those are christian principles.
Q. Don’t change the subject. Satan!
tunamelt: 5-7pm on CNN, central time
CivicHoliday: Thanks.
Is anyone going to watch this puppy, in case it’s not live-blogged? I can’t from where I am, but I am fecking DYING to know how red Cindy gets when McCain gives all his answers about his first wife.
you guys are so cynical
OMG OMG OMG CHURCHAPALOOZA IS ABOUT TO START.
I’ve got Jergens lotion, hand towels, wet wipes, Maker’s Mark bourbon, popcorn, and peanut butter. The C-SPAN live stream seems to be working. Let’s get this show on the road.
Wow, jumped the gun there, didn’t I? Not for another three hours, I see.
Okay, I’ll just sit here drinking bourbon until then.
jagorev: Premature rapture…?
springfield_meltdown: Ha, “an army of orcas.” Like everybody else from the Pacific Northwest, I know that would actually be a “navy of orcas.”
tunamelt: Hey, it could happen to any guy! It’s a very common condition.
I bet McCain is sweating bullets. Preachers have not been his strong suit lately, and the infidelity issue is finally seeping through the MSM firewall.
Barry, on the other hand, is probably looking faithful, fit and radiantly sunkist.
Saddleback Church is in Lake Forest, which is one of those mysterious housing developments somewhere between Los Angeles and the Mexican border.
According to Wikipedia, it’s in the OC and became a city in 1991. I feel like it’s just actually at the housing development from Weeds.
If Dobson and the fundies can pray that Obama gets rained out, then it’s only fair that we can pray that McCain suffers a stroke in mid-sentence tonight, or at least an embarrassing senior moment that all the king’s horses, Hannity, and O’Reilly could never put back together again.
Pray like you’ve never prayed before. The United States of America is on the line here. Whenever two or more are gathered in his name……
mattbolt: I thought Warren looked like John Candy, Comic Book Guy works too.
accidental_tourist: Let us pray:
God, please have Pastor Rick ask McCain why it took him soooo long to return MANHUNT’s santorum soiled money.
sati demise: Santorum
Santorum 1. The frothy mix of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the byproduct of anal sex. 2. Senator Rick Santorum.
It was “tainted” money, not soiled.
Taint is a slang term used to refer to the perineum (the region of the human body between the testicles or vulva and the anus). It is a portmanteau of “it …
I believe that my good man Barry Half White, as I fondly refer to him, will do real well. He’s speaking in a church. The man was born to speak in church. If he weren’t a law professor and a presidential candidate, he could have been a preacher, easy. He’s got that gospel rhythm, the repetitive phrases, the innate knowledge of when to stop and wait for a “Hallelujah!”, the ability to start slow and smooth and work gradually, slowly increasing the volume and the pace, in stairsteps, to end in a crescendo that brings the audience to their feet and tears simultaneously to millions of TV watching eyes. McCain ain’t got that.
You watch, tonight Barry’s going to make a plexiglass booth look good.
lazynamepicker: As to Obama’s reception at Saddleback last time, please, allow me to help! http://www.ocweekly.com/columns/commie-girl/commie-girl/26342/
Yeah, I wrote that, fuckers, and now I’m Layne’s overlord, which is just as it should be.
gurukalehuru: I’m with you, bro. I bet Barry is flexing the cadences as his motorcade approaches the Brokeback Chapel. In less than two weeks my man is going to knock “I Have a Dream” out of the ballpark.
rocktonsammy: OMG he DOES look like John Candy wearing bronze contour and auburn eyebrow pencil!?
…are we gonna have a live blog section?
Really horrible idea why don’t they just join hands and pray together that the world has the rapture before the election. If they wanted the votes from this community couldn’t they both help build a house or something to help out the poor(Johnny boy Edwards is under house arrest). Other than mutual fear why can’t they just have a serious sit down and discuss potential plans for their administrations.
The Swiftboat guys have the icons rigged to bleed when Hopey walks in.
And they’re off! Standing ovation for Barry.
“They both care deeply about America — they’re both patriots”
Goodness…
…what no plexi-glass magneto prison?! I’m disappointed!!!
SayItWithWookies: Oops. …and there goes the McCain camp’s entire ammunition store, is what I was gonna say.
HedonismBot: *I am aware of all fundamentalist traditions!*
The “them” was in reference to the link I provided, here, again, and it’s a gosh darned good one, of McCain’s famous denouncement of fundies in 2000 — when Falwell was very much alive and kickin’ the sinners butts:
http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/0002/28/se.01.html
…what, Barry didnt spontaneously combust upon entering the church?! I thought he was the “Anti-Christ”!!!
Oh God it’s a Dr. Phil question. I hope this isn’t mostly the tone. On the other hand, I can see McCain getting visibly annoyed with this.
… Barry quoting the gospel of Matthew … knows the crowd he’s working there.
So. O.C. Evangels = Saccharine — fake, empty, toxic
Purpose-Driven-Life dude is obviously fond of those All-Cretans-Are-Liars puzzles.
SayItWithWookies: …I’m not even watching this because of Barry, I’m watching this to see WALNUTS! stumble, fumble and bumble all the way to the finish line(and hopefully drop a “F” bomb).
Barry’s head is tilted so far to the right it’s going to fall off any second. Subliminal visuals or a body-surfing booboo?
…*opening 2nd container of box wine*
*snore* They’re just lucky there’s no mens gym”nasty”ics on right now.
Barry’s gonna make Beltaine a national holiday. I read it on the intertubes.
AngryBlakGuy: Hopey sounded articulate, intelligent, nuanced, sophisticated, genuine, and appealed to his audience and quoted a verse from Matthew. And if McCain speaks mostly in complete sentences and doesn’t say Czechoslovakia, tomorrow they’re gonna say that he knocked it out of the park. It’s the soft bigotry of low expectations.
Nevertheless, if McCain screws this up, I’m gonna enjoy it.
AngryBlakGuy: slap the bag.
kellygrrrl: like orange county anything.
I’m interested to see if Cindy is one of the three wisest people McCain knows. Maybe she utters prophicies in her drug stupors.
“I know this is a very cunt–complex issue”
Did I really hear that?
it’s the baby killing question!
SayItWithWookies: …my money is on WALNUTS! finding every way possible to slip in “Maverick”, “Georgia” and “C%NT”!
22 minutes til the first abortion question. Who won the pool?
“At what point does a baby get human rights — in your view?”
How ’bout at baby?
this is wayyyyy too much jesus for before i’m drunk
I think his answer regarding worldview as a Christian will be misrepresented and misused later.
read: not considered Christian enough.
tunamelt: …hey, I thought you only commented when you were on the clock?!
Holy shit the marriage question.
RE: Marriage
FUCK YOU BARRY!!!! FUCK YOU!!!!
Wait, they just clapped at him opposing the amendment? Although it was kind of muffled. Not the sharpest bunch I gather.
At first I assumed this event would be biased toward McCain because he is old enough to have known Jesus personally. Then I realized that McCain would have been one of the Roman soldiers mocking Christ (means the anointed one) at the foot of the cross. Times may change but some people stay the same.
I was also worried about Rick Warren’s cheesy goatee. Everyone who’s watched Star Trek knows that people with goatees are evil opposites. But since most evangelists seem to be evil, money-grubbing adulterers, maybe he’s not such a bad guy.
WHERE IS MY LIVEBLOG?!! Just because Layne has something to do on Saturday night, he thinks the rest of us do. Shows what he knows!!
Ok, now how about this, how big of a bigot are you, and would you support a pro-bigot constitutional amendment
Okay, this position on the definition of marriage is treading a ridiculously fine line. He pisses me off with the “one man and one woman” and then teases me with this civil unions thing. Hmmph.
HomoPolitico: …WALNUTS! wisest people = the guy who passed him in flight school, Paris Hilton and “W”!
I like my religious nuts to be irrational bigots. What’s with this tempered applause for Barry being against the marriage amendment?
HomoPolitico: He totally tiptoed all over that answer. But oddly I respect it.
What he believes as opposed to how he would legislate. Two different things, i guess.
HomoPolitico: yeh, that was shit.
hrhkingfriday: …slow poke!!!
I’m with hrhkingfriday. I gotta get a drink…
“Does evil exist?” Are you serious? Is he serious??
How long until, “Boy, let’s go destroy some embryos” gets used out of context in some Christian 527 ad?
Why’s Richard Karn interviewing Barack Obama?
SayItWithWookies: I agree. Feel the same way. STATE ISSUE. lol massive dodge.
Whiskeybaby: …ATTICA, ATTICA, ATTICA!!!
SayItWithWookies: So… 5 months? They are viable earlier and earlier these days.
wow, that’s a wonky question
go with the negro, barry, go with the negro!!
Can there be any other country in the world that asks a candidate if there is EViL?
OOOoo, Barry goes after Uncle Tom!
Clarence Thomas! Sweet!
hrhkingfriday: where the hell have you been? thought we lost you in the grea megtard war. glad ur back.
…BARRY JUST WENT AFTER CLARENCE THOMAS!!!!!!!!!!!! He just got a Platinum Negro-Card upgrade!!!
i really don’t think the crowd knows what this question is about
Rev. Peter Lemonjello: Great Megtard War.
So now I’ve utterly complicated and fucked up your relationship with three sitting supreme court justices. Enjoy.
Rev. Peter Lemonjello: sadly, i’m employed now. contributing to Our Great Economy!
…the more I listen to these questions the more I wish I could hear WALNUTS! Damn it Barry wrap it up man!!!
Faith-based orgs. More bullshit. More excuses for discrimination, close-mindedness and lack of competition.
Oh, good — fair hiring. And how ’bout the fact that no non-Christian group got money in any of Bush’s programs, huh?
HomoPolitico: I’m betting McCrone says Ginsburg.
AngryBlakGuy: Srsly. Lets wrap up the lecture, Prof. Barry, and move on the sat night raw with WALNUTS!
Zing the host — hilarious!
…would the “Anti-Christ” joke about income? I think not!!!
Barry makes a funny! Zing with the 25 million in book sales.
Clapping for higher taxes! Yay!
SayItWithWookies: Does McCain know who Ginsburg is?
AxmxZ: When it’s born works for me. And from there, right up until age 14 or so when it can be tried as an adult and executed.
AngryBlakGuy:
I missed the question..what was it? Please, please let it have been “Which Supreme is the biggest waste of flesh?” and Thomas was the answer.
Darehead: Yeah really — he knows Roberts, Scalia, Thomas and Alito — and then those other guys.
Did he just say “Punchbowl National Cemetery?!”
hrhkingfriday: elitist.
WALNUTS! is sooooo gonna knock that “adopt black babies” question out of the park.
SayItWithWookies: Hee. Abortions for some, teenage executions for others!
148 million orphans?! And we have power problems in this country? Why aren’t they hitched up to turbines and experiencing the dignity of work?
Mommies?
Barry is against orphans.
Who is actually FOR orphans?
Bush iz the best AIDS president ever. I aint buying it.
…damn it Barry! How could you pass up the obvious Angelina Jolie joke on the orphan question?!
I have a modest proposal…
SayItWithWookies: 148 million orphans + 148 million “welfare” queens. Oh man, just think of how many walmarts that could power!
HomoPolitico: WIN
I want to bear witness to the First Church of the Holy Unicorn of Hope.
hockeymom: …close! Which justice would you have not elected. But then again couldn’t that have been interchanged with, what supreme court justice do wish would get hit by a car or fall into an industrial meat grinder.
Lots of global questions! Baldwin or Barr would just say ‘fuck em all.’
And now, a bit of hysteria over my pet issue, sex trafficking.
This was no conversation. It was a bunch of ridiculous questions.
Darehead: And Ron Paul would say, what world?
I hate sex traffic. Bisexuals never signal before they change lanes.
What questions were skipped? Censorship!
Bring on the wrinkled old white guy…
Hopey is good tonight. Boy is he good.
They like him, they really like him. Standing O for Barack
Real standing ovation or not?
WALNUTS! totally stole Barry’s look.
Okay, McCain is on stage. NOW I’m gonna spark one up.
Nice closer. If [the previous generation] could make sacrifices on our behalf, then we can make sacrifices for the next generation. I’d forgotten politicians could talk like that.
Please, noone tell Walnuts his mic is still on, I want to catch “cunt” in action
…is it me or is hopey looking kind of short?!
Look at Jamakane and his little T-rex arms.
I bet he’s just angry ’cause he can’t reach his dick and hasn’t masturbated for forty years.
And heeeeeers Johnny!
Twinkle Twinkle Lil Star: LOLZ. You win for the comment of the night.
I coudda gone tonight. Lake Forest is only ten minutes away from my house. Dammit.
Cindy would clap, but she’s got a martini in one hand and vicodin in the other
You go, hopey, I love you, man!!!! WOW, look at the two of them, Hopey and McOld on the podium with goatee in the middle. Sniff the air, and just vote according to the phermones. Male or female, right or left, straight, gay, religious or non, no matter… just sniff. And vote.
General David P???? WRONG ANSWER!!!!!!!
Hey everybody, we’ve won in Iraq! Who knew?
Barry be done…now McCain brings some morality to the table…
OMG I’m falling asleep 30 seconds in!
CEO of EBAY?????? Bzzzzzt!
3 Wise Persons: EPIC FAIL
E-Bay? Are you kidding me?
wheelie: Hopey seemed Humble (appropriately, for this crowd). Seemed strong in his jebusy bonafides (ditto). Hasn’t called the Rev a ‘cunt’ yet either. I’d rate that performan 7 or 8 on the Hopey scale.
…I know this son of bitch isn’t referencing “Ebay” as success story!?
Re: McCain . .. So his wife is not his #1 person that he would rely on. Hmmm.
I missed the top of this…is he going to ask the same questions to both of them.
Meg Whitman? PUMAs, come to Uncle John.
God, he sounds rehearsed.
commiegirl: “Actually, in my family, everyone has Hep C. (It must have been all those prison stints.) But we have AIDS too, or we did; my son’s first mom (my stepmother) died of it when he was a baby.”
Rebecca —
“My son’s first mom (my stepmother)”??
Am I missing something? Isn’t there a Biblical injunction about that kind of thing?
(Or it it a typo, i.e.: “My [step-]son’s first mom”?
Or is it simply one of those strange “Behind The Orange Curtain” customs we Angelinos have heard about?
just watched Barry finish up. Overall, Hopey did a pretty good job. Not going to far with his secret muslim radical liberal elitist viewpoints, but saying enough that he made sense and the Bitters could say “oh he doesn’t seem so bad”.
i don’t give two shits what McWalnuts has to say, so now it’s bar-time as far as i’m concerned. peace out, Bitters.
He said “my friends”. Take a shot.
…he said “my friends”, that’s one shot!
WOW! He mentioned the crippled 1st wife as his “greatest moral failure”
Dude, he dropped that one right quick and flushed.
That was a really impressive Fail. So much so, it almost deserves a LOLprez
Cindy is not a wise person. Cindy is his greatest moral failure.
Johnny thinks this is hard? Boy. Not good for a presidential candidate.
After 9/11 we morally failed because we didn’t encourage enough volunteering? Really?! And acting like every other nation is either a subject or an opponent was okay?
are we counting how many times he says “torture”?
…this pastor is a dick head! Now all of a sudden he is all laughy and friendly! Piece of shit!
damnnnnnn… he called Reagan one of the greatest presidents ever.
really? REAAAAAAAAAAAAALLY?
Wow, he’s doing awful! Yay!
7 minutes before his first mention of Reagan. Who won the pool?
…lets count how many times he jokes with WALNUTS! vs. Barry everyone!
HomoPolitico:
Yes, but she’s his biggest economic successes.
Also, he loves Reagan.
…”Drill here, Drill now” take a drink!
HomoPolitico: Nice!
“OFFSHORE DRILLING: WE GOTTA DRILL NOW AND WE GOTTA DRILL HERE.”
I hate these fuckin’ Orange County assholes. Rich dickheads and their goddamn Lambos.
This is the same shit he ALWAYS says.
Drill here drill now blah blah blah. And everyone applauds — as they think “Right — just not off my beach.”
What happened to “no stump speeches”?
jasonelias: And yet the applause just keeps coming. Bleh.
Oh, we’re in love with the French now!
Lunchbox: Yeah he gets points off for doing the stump speech.
…hey, a reference to Vietnam! Take a drink!
Some one hand me a violin.
I told my husband if we do a drinking game based on how many times he mentions torture and Vietnam, we’ll be in the hospital for alcohol poisoning by the end of the night.
jasonelias: Hey, Johnny’s getting chuckles and bumps from the crowd when he tells them he’s gonna start drilling off their favorite beach and put nuke plants in their city parks.
I think Rev Rick is pumping nitrous into the ventilation system of his sanctuary or something.
The FIVE AND A HALF YEARS, ALAN answer.
And he added “it took a lot of prayer” in the end for good measure. I bet he thinks he was super clever for that one.
“It took alot of prayer”. WOW! That was a quick. Chalk one up for Johnny cakes
SayItWithWookies: And Volunteering usually translates into Republicanese as “Communism”!
Wow — that was awful, but it wasn’t as bad as I thought. Yeah, I’m calling it for McCain right now - no need to see the rest.
…there goes the urine stained smile!
Twinkle Twinkle Lil Star: as a californian, i feel entitled to say i wouldn’t mind annexing the oc to mexico or montana.
Lascauxcaveman: itgetter: It’s just nervous laughter, hopefully…
Oh boy. Here we go….A Vietnam story
…WoW, tell us more about Vietnam WALNUTS!!!
that’s… what, the sixth mention of Vietnam in a row?
As Rudy is to 9/11, WALNUTS is to POW.
There were 5 employees at Ebay 5 years ago?
The pastor dude is in awe of the great warrior! What a tool.
And what a bad story.
My friends — I was tortured as a POW. Have I mentioned that?
…uh-oh, did WALNUTS! just tear up!?!?!?!
Second answer using his Vietnamese torture as a foundation.
If I wanted to hear old war stories I would have gone drinking at the VFW.
This is nothing but stump speeches. I wonder if during the post-analysis, that people recognize the stark differences between Barack’s performance and McCain’s. Seriously.
Stupid.
This one time… at band… err prison camp..
So essentially, being a Christian is sorta like being in the same frat. You get a pass sometimes.
Two Christians standing there!!!! And now lets get back to killing each other.
Scratch that. Two violins and one viola please.
SayItWithWookies: Yeah, from here on out if Johnny manages to get through one of these things without pissing himself, it’s a win for beating expectations.
Clancy_Pants: That’s why it took so long for me to get my 8 tracks…
Well, damn. The cross in the sand story wins the night. Why couldn’t Barry have been tortured?
…did this son of bitch say “at the moment of conception”!?
Question: Abortion
“Well, back when I was in Vietnam…”
“At the moment of conception.”
And I would like miscarriage to be prosecuted as negligent homicide.
…WALNUT! is on both knee and sucking, right now!!!
Fuck you John McCain. You are a fraud and a faker.
“marriage is between one man and one woman… unless that woman becomes crippled and fat, then you can totally ditch her for a younger, richer, blonder beer heiress… that cunt.”
Marriage is a union between a man and a woman, until the woman becomes disabled, after which the contract is void.
Hey gays - we can enter into legal agreements! woo hoo! Grampy McSame just gave us the right to sign our names to legal documents.
Jackass.
I think Barry won the gay marriage round. Made his stance and case clear.
“If a federal court told me my home state of Arizona had to observe what Massachusetts decided…”
Martin Luther King, Jr. Day?
wheelie: jinx!
Skin cells > Stem cells.
Because John McCain knows skin cells.
I bet Osama is in Russia. Bomb, bomb, bomb Russia!
…well if we can use “skin cells” then Cindi should be selling her excess facelift skin for a profit!
Ooooh, Gates of Hell again. AngryBlakGuy?
Two “my friends” in one answer. He’s getting excited!
Hey I actually live half a block away from Saddleback you fucktards!! I love the jealousy!! What a bunch of fucking losers…….none of you could hold McCain’s jock…unless you were sniffing it as well in which case all of you stupid motherfuckers would probably pass it around.
McCain’s going to go to the gates of hell to get Bin Laden? Well get a move on then, see ya!
McCain was winning on the Evil question and then mentioned Iraq. Quick fail.
Barry’s Evil was better! Walnuts plays the torture/Al Qaeda/General Betray Us/card!
…is anyone watching this in HD? Please tell me of the horrors that you see!!!
Stump speech, stump speech, some sorta Hannity/Beck mashup, half-baked evil metaphor, stump speech, stump speech.
Twinkle Twinkle Lil Star: Doh! You beat me.
Tell ya what, Walnuts, go get your Rambo drag on and bring bin Laden’s rotting corpse back for us, and I’ll totes vote for you.
John McCain is a potato with a mouth spewing the overflow of Dick Cheney’s ass.
SayItWithWookies: …damn it, I missed couple of shot again didn’t I?
Giiiiinsber — holy shit, he named the five liberals. Good gravy what an idiotic boilerplate a.m. radio answer.
did he just say Alito is his favorite?
Hey, can I hear the anecdote about your biggest moral failure again?
rickmv: WTF?
oh jesus, so much for a different kind of conversation. this is just same old mcgrumpy mcstumpypants we could see spilling applesauce in any supermarket. plus, the questions aren’t the same at all. they’re obviously geared to The Old Coot. blech. this is such a waste of time.
Life is full of antidotes?
Well find one for cancer, then.
Hey, where were you *during* Hurricane Katrina? Oh, that’s right - eating cake with George Bush.
I’m not even watching this, but based on how your posts are going, I love how Obama can challenge black men to be better fathers, even challenge white rednecks on the status quo of race relations, but finds evangelicals too sensitive and stubborn to get them to question their thoughts. Hope on, B-rock!
…if it is “off the record” then why the fukk are you quoting it!!! It cant be collaborated dumb fukk!
Alito is one of his most recent favorites, but the special relationship WALNUTS shared with John Jay can never be touched.
…what is his definition of a “bad teacher”?! Shit for brains!!!
OBAMA = THINKER
MCCAIN = PANDERER
Hey McCain — the reason the faith-based organizations in N.O. were doing so much better than the feds wasn’t because they were particularly talented. A pinto loaded with eleven clowns coulda done a better job than the feds but that doesn’t mean we should pay them to take over government services.
I am no friend of John McCain. Why does he keep insisting were friends? What a joke.
“Homeschooling works.” Especially if you don’t believe in evolution.
It is TOTALLY past walnuts bedtime
…ok, now he is pissing me off! Is he comparing Cindy “leather face” McCain and himself to people who make under 6 figures a years?!
Teachers are the EVIL! Choice and competition! Bubble tests are the “Civil rights of the 21st century!”
Home schooling! Spanking!
I’m middle class.. Cindy is.. upper middle class
rickmv: Are you holding McCains’ jock?
I salute you.
Lunchbox: Just thought I’d stop by and piss in your face. A brave lot you are, hurling insults at a man who couldn’t care less with a bunch of dipshits that you’ve never met. I sometimes come in here just to feel better about myself. Now I do……..buh bye….
Holy crap — he just said homeschooling is “the civil rights issue of the twenty-first century.” Good lord.
“Some of the richest people I know are the most unhappy”
Aka, Cindy, you are a cunt.
Grandpy thinks you get points for speed
A NON ANSWER ON THE RICH QUESTION.
NUMBERS, PLEASE.
McCain didn’t mention Kennedy, so I guess he supports ass fucking.
…”some of the richest people I know are unhappy” = Cindy McCain!
No, no, no. He asked for a fucking number.
If he lets him get away with this I’m switching to the olympics for good.
why can’t fat Pastor rick just kneel in front of him and start sucking already?
Bomb, bomb, bomb Lake Forest.
i just finished my 1st bottle of merlot. gotta get some more.
What??? Rich is what??? Johnny gets philosophical on us about what is rich. What an ASSHOLE! A BIG FUCKING ASSHOLE!!!
So the “failing schools” can go fu*k themselves, and the better off should have the choice to avail of the classy schools, and fuck the poor? Is that his education policy?
…god this pastor is a fukkin dip shit!
…*pondering whether or not he should crack that 3rd box wine open*
Some of the richest people that he knows are unhappy, so he wants us all to be able to be rich. Great?
Rude evangelistic goat!!! He cut off Walnuts! from finishing his cute white lies about what really happened in those dank Viet-Namese pajama party bondage scenes…but let Barry go on and on and on (and on) all about how Barry loves the Qu’ran, hates Jesus and truck nutz and the Wookie captured in Georgia and shipped to Palo Alto…..
Actually the definition does matter, because it could give you an opportunity to show you’re not a pandering side-winding prick.
Oh — rehearsed folksy put-down of congress — minus two points, Senator.
Hey future.. Here’s hope.. and a bill for 10 gazillion dollars.
his white hair is so shiny.
Ohmigod. Juan is carrying on like an old drunk who, while usually throwing tempers and chairs, is telling a string of funny (although dull) jokes.
And the Bitters are loving it.
Huzzah for the evangelist goat for putting on such a great teevee show. I hardly miss Dr. Who.
…or i’m getting really drunk on my five-dollar wine.
floraway: He thinks he’s happy - kinda setting that bar low.
On the question of richhood: IRS should administer psych evaluations every April to assess who is happy and who is not, and then tax the unhappy. IT’S SO SIMPLE, MY FRIENDS!!1!
The call is coming from INSIDE the house McCain!
God… I fear debates. McCain will just chuckle along, and people will forget that he’s talking about bombing everything. Oh, isn’t Grandpa hilarious? We should vote for him instead of that serious guy telling me how to live my life.
Twinkle Twinkle Lil Star: Klassy elitist.
I think that the fact that they’re going to questions beyond what Obama was asked shows that this is unfair. We have 20 minutes left of this hour. They need to stop the interview now. Right now. Otherwise this was a sham program.
Delicious: Wow, that was brilliant. I’m amazed. You took my insult and repeated it. How original. Wipe the sweat off your forehead…………now.
“My friends” is the new “Malkovich.”
General Patreaus will solve everything. Including education.
President Juan is an astronaut now! Rich (McCainapedia: “above five million per year”) and floating in “Syberspace”, whatever that is.
Yahoo, Juan!!!!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Slim-pickens_riding-the-bomb_enh-lores-720p.jpg
Is McCain capable of original thought? I see no evidence here. Hell he doesn’t even say whole sentences, just rattles off the fave topics.
“So what’s your opinion on the bubble wrap tariff?”
“My friends, I just want to say — free trade, lower taxes, don’t punish success. Why, once in a little rice paddy outside of my prisoner of war camp in Vietnam, there was a fruit vendor…”
This is dumb. This is a sham just like the original joint town hall that BO and JM were supposed to attend but Obama cancelled, and then it was revealed that it was stocked with repubs.
FREEEEEEEEEDOM… FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDOM…
You better think (think) think about what you’re trying to do to me
Yeah, think (think, think), let your mind go, let yourself be free
Let’s go back, let’s go back, let’s go way on back when
I didn’t even know you, you came to me and too much you wouldn’t take
I ain’t no psychiatrist, I ain’t no doctor with degree
It don’t take too much high IQ’s to see what you’re doing to me
You better think (think) think about what you’re trying to do to me
Yeah, think (think, think), let your mind go, let yourself be free
Oh freedom (freedom), freedom (freedom), freedom, yeah freedom
Freedom (freedom), freedom (freedom), freedom, ooh freedom
“As an American, what is worth dying for?”
Pussy, my friends.
The Real JR Revisted: …it’s only unfair if anyone besides the bitters, PUMAs, and drunks hasn’t fallen asleep already.
Juan and Barry agree on one thing: “freedom” (whatever that is, choosing betweeen Wendy’s or teh gayz McDonalds, filter tip or full bodied, thin or fat) is worth shedding Murkin blood. Yay! We have bipartisanship….Barry AND Juan for Veep! Queen Hillary and Mitch Romney for President!
Saddleback Mountain for the new Disneyland/Supreme Court!!
He said “beacon of hope!” Barack wins by default.
A chamber quartet and a blind harpist would have been good right then.
feel free to open the door to the Georgian stump speech, Rick.
…Im surprise that McCain doesn’t refer to Africa as the “Dark Continent”
…”Christian Nation” take a shot!
Now communists are evil? Where did we go wrong? Johnny is all over the place.
Georgia: “A great little nation.”
Hail, y’all shore whipped up a great little nation here.
Uhhh — no actual answer on what he would do about Georgia.
I think all his bullshit and stump speeches are stocked in his cheeks…
SayItWithWookies: …its big enough to start a fight with a super power!
SkimLatteLiberal: But the liquor hasn’t taken yet! I’M STILL AWAKE!
I think if we took a shot every time he said “My friends…”
*falls down, foaming at the mouth*
The man was beaten and abused for FIVE AND A HALF YEARS!!!!!
Now just shut up and vote for him, people!
“and I know what’s it’s like to be without it.”
VIETNAM AGAIN.
“growing up without parents”
And watch him exploit the adopted daughter Cindy had to adopt without his permission.
…if he keeps saying “my friends” I’m gonna be shit faced by 11pm!
This whole “Forum” is a crock of shite. Why the fuk are the Christians taking control of this Country?
I object to religious bullshittttt becoming a platform for presidential elections. We have lost our minds!!!
SayItWithWookies: Georgia: A attitude that welcomes your business and has the cleanest prostitutes in all of the Caucusus
I really hope the pundits and the MSM see through this shit.
I know adoption.. my second wife brought home a little baby this one time.
WHY DO YOU WANT TO BE PRESIDENT?
“To rule… oh, finally… to rule!” - General Zod, Superman II
I really hope the pundits and the MSM see through this shit, dammit.
COUNTRY FIRST!
VIETNAM! I’LL NEVER LET YOU FORGET!
Amerkas best days are ahead…I just won’t live long enough to be responsible for the hella bill I’m gonna leave!! Ramblin John for Preznit!!
…that response to why you want to be president sounds so rehearsed! Am i the only one?!
AngryBlakGuy: jinx!
So Georgia never provoked any of this? Big bad Russia: that’s his geo-political line. That’s pathetic.
I really hope the pundits and the MSM see through this shit, dammit.
COUNTRY FIRST!
VIETNAM! I’LL NEVER LET YOU FORGET!
And how does he keeps saying country first if he keeps bringing up Georgia.
Is he going to love the “lovely” African-American women like Thomas Jefferson did?
This is not germaine to the issues, but his thinning hair is like spun sugar.
Let’s liveblog the MSNBC outrage.
Dream team:
Rachel Maddow
David Schuster
And Pat Buchanan so everyone can yell at him for my entertainment.
AngryBlakGuy: And a frog’s big enough to start a fight with a pickup truck.
Oh, Pastor Rick — it’s really all about you.
…have I ever mentioned how much I HATE PAT BUCHANAN?!?! Of course I have!!!
How come he didn’t make the Keating Five part of his Christian narrative of redemption, or did I miss that bit?
SayItWithWookies: …only when its getting ran over!
THE ANALYSIS IS BULLSHIT!
My single favorite moment was when John McCain said he wanted every American to be able to send their kids to the same schools that multi-millionaires send their kids to. It was even better than when McCain proclaimed that the best way to solve the budget deficit would be for everyone to be a millionaire.
SayItWithWookies:
Yeah, that should go over great with Hillary Clinton’s supporters. Nice move, Johnny boy.
wheelie: …because swindling money out of the less fortunate is part of Christian ideology!
Fucking MSNBC…
AngryBlakGuy: Now you say it, that sounds horribly true. Next time, make a joke.
rickmv:Okay, troll away. But I know that once these guys stop blogging the event and turn their attention to you…it will not be pretty. You said you were going to leave, and I thought all good Christians held true to their word. Off you go.
Serolf Divad: My friends, my answer to the problem of the American economy is a simple one: we should all marry rich, independently wealthy but miserable businesswomen who will finance your every whim and put up with your constant abuse. At the moment of conception. And, as I used to say back in my days as a prisoner of war, God bless America.
And good job, all, ignoring the troll!
irisheyes: Is that supposed to scare me you dumb motherfucker? Did you forget you’re typing into a computer? This whole thing is cyberspace bullshit asswipe…….what the fuck would I possibly have to be worried about when “all the guys turn their attention to me”? Fuck you.
oop! spoke too soon…
WonkaBee: Someone has to call you fucking limpdicks on all your bullshit. I’m happy to step up.
WonkaBee: I like pie. Don’t you like pie? Apple or Blueberry?
WonkaBee: sorry. I really should have known better.
I gotta cook dinner for my white man now. Excuse me.
Well that was fun…..back to talking to each other like anyone else gives a shit what you think. Dumbest bunch of fucking libs……worse than HuffPost…and that’s saying something.
I missed the whole thing.
Phbtfffff!
I actually was away watching “The Day the Earth Stood Still” with my spouse, so thank all for the ability to catch up vicariously.
Klaatu Barada Nikto!
lightskinegro: Amen.
Does anyone else love love LOVE rickmv’s avatar? It just screams “SURPRISE BUTTSEKS from Larry Craig.”
rickmv: You make an excellent point about how none of us “could hold McCain’s jock”.
You then delve into the fascinating issue of sniffing jocks! I just thought you held back and didn’t elaborate enough. By sniffing, you mean rubbing your nose up the crotch of John McCain’s underwear, and huffing the damp sweaty-semen-and-piss stain.
And then, high on that joy, running your nose and tongue hungrily along the taint-seam of his boxers to the seat of his damp delicious anus . . .
WonkaBee: I know- but this one doesn’t even give me any good material to work with. If anything, he’s providing the internal dialogue of the audience at this so-called debate
hrhkingfriday: Yeah what the hell’s he even got to complain about? We won the war in Iraq (or so John McCain told me this evening) and the movie he just finished directing, An American Carol, is coming out soon. He should be on top of the world.
The Real JR Revisted:
I think PI is really fine
three point one four five one nine!
I had no plan to vote for either one of these candidates. As a disinterested party, I would say Obama won this one hands down. McCain talked a lot of smack, and he stated it quickly, briefly, then smiled and waited for applause. If he had been questioned further about his responses, it would have been a massacre. He will appeal to those who have hair-triggers, stores of pent-up anger, and no common sense. Same as the Bush crowd. I ’bout die laughing every time he grits his bottom teeth against his nostrils and says he’ll chase bin Laden to the gates of hell. McCain better than anybody knows exactly how long bin Laden has been dead. What a phony piece of shit. If he’ll lie to you about that, he’ll lie to your sons and daughters for the reasons they’re being drafted.
Obama needs a neck brace. I thought his head was gonna fall off, and it made him look like a weak, bored teenager even though his answers were freakin brilliant. McCain needs arm braces and plastic surgery. Oh well.
Warren made them sign a comically oversized liabilty waiver ala “Willy Wonka”
WonkaBee: AAARRGGGH
three point one four one five nine !
no wonder you wont stop swearing, your a huffpo commenter and somehow wandered here…everyone proceed to talk like morons so we can help our new friend out okay!
rickmv:
Apparently you don’t know “limpdick” (?? that sounds like a call for help) about the intrawebs. If you sound like Bill Paxton going ape shit, then that means you failed, my son.
We’re sorry that our fat Jesusboy thread offended you, and I hope and pray to Jehovah that you find some help for your erectile dysfunction.
GO USA!!1
GET A BRAIN,
MORANS!!!
I, for one, welcome our new stiffer-than-thou overlord.
KittyKatMan: call for help? nah, i just think the bowels of 4chan sprung a leak.
accidental_tourist: I agree Obama came off better, and McCain was weak on family values, Georgia, and education policy. McCain was not honest about his role in the Keating Five, and I thought that was disappointing. He could have cleared the slate, but he didn’t.
I was watching Ghost World. Apparently, I didn’t miss anything.
SHEEE-it! (Sorry. I meant to say, “GD corn holing, sheep humping, anti-Reagan, pro-Alzheimer’s barnyard beast lover!”. Again, I apologize to all. My initial exclamation is often wrong.)
My point: none, none, none of my questions were ever posed.
For McDecrepitude:
1. When do you plan to implement “1 Timothy 2:11-12” http://bible.cc/1_timothy/2-11.htm
Within your first 100 days? If not, why? Recall your four-letter word which rhymes with “smunt”.
2. Would you choose an aborted fetus as your Vice-Presidential candidate? If not, why? Hypothetically, would your answer change if the fetus belonged to … (Okay, gotta stop. I have reached the thin outer boundary of my feeble notion of good taste.) … Rielle Hunter? Libby Dole? Miss Buffalo Chip?
For Hopey:
1. How has Sharia law changed your life?
2. When will your ornery, yet oh so seductive, negress wife take the veil? BTW: you may have more than one. Ask John Edwards.
S.Luggo: For Hopey: What’s it like, joining the Taliban? When you see a woman driving a car do you just get pissed?
SayItWithWookies: Makes these yahoos happy happy…
Why does everybuddy here hate Jeebus?
Oh it’s not who he’s pandering to — it’s that someone who was historically opposed to Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, and who gave a tone-deaf speech on MLK’s last birthday practically demanding that black people reach into the bottoms of their hearts and forgive him for getting on board so damn late has any business purporting to know what civil rights even means.
That he can compare the integration of Central High School or the Montgomery bus boycott to the desire of some parents to teach their kids at home without any proper accreditation or oversight (because this isn’t about whether homeschooling is legal — it is — it’s about whether the homeschoolers should be in any way qualified to teach kids, or whether there should be some oversight of the process) is the height of ignorance and arrogance. The more I think about it, the more it pisses me off.
i’m voting saxon for president.
Darehead: because he took our jobs!
schvitzatura: The previous was in response to you, of course. Did I mention that that horrible remark is still pissing me off? ‘Cause it is.
tunamelt:
“What’s it like, joining the Taliban?’ [What’s it like using an extraneous comma? Illiteracy, such a curse.] But seriously, joining the Taliban means that you can let your beard grow out, get engaged to goat, and honor kill your sister for listening to Hannah Montana. Just like in Chicago.
“When you see a woman driving a car do you just get pissed?” If the car is a Bugatti Type 252 , yes. If a Ford Fiesta, no.
rickmv: I thought you were leaving. You said buh-bye.
SayItWithWookies: Another “sort’ of homeschooler…would this kid’s parents vote McThusela for their single issue for “Little Parker”?
I’m guessing this crew would…
Are either really “qualified” for the job of educating their offspring?
Missing link:
Another “sort” of homeschooler…further, should any eight year old have such an intense focus on Alix Olsen? Does he even know his 50 states? Patriarchical 43 Presidents of these United States? Multiplication tables?
S.Luggo: Haha, sorry that was me drunkenly attempting to quote the movie Knocked Up from memory.
Didn’t actually see it, just depending on the comments here, but I’d say Barry won just by showing up. Speaking to a crowd of evangelicals, in an evangelical church, taking it to Geezer McFatcheeks on his home turf, in front of his base.
If Barry is contesting states like Mississippi and Texas, and fighting for the evangelical vote, McCain has got no place to run to, no place to hide.
Barry peaked at least a week early against Hillary; part of the GOP strategy is to draw him out too soon so that he can peak early again. The GOP strategy always includes “taking the bait” offers like that, and Democrats seem as drawn to them as they are to clumsiness in extramarital affairs. Obama shouldn’t do much of this kind of stunt until well after the convention; I thought his leaving the country for a while was an excellent tactic. The fact that he can outtalk the animatronic McCain is less important than the risk of overexposure.
Once again, Obama seems to be helping McCain sell himself to conservatives, when the only thing Obama should be telling conservatives is that John McCain is not one. Barry won’t get conservatives to vote for him, but he could get a few to stay home.
McCain’s BIGGEST mistake: bragging we are winning the war in Iraq. He says that in stumps, but this is to a wider audience. Very revolting.
Thanks, everyone, for describing this revolting event so I didn’t have to watch it and hurl. I was even glad to hear from the jock-sniffing troll. I don’t want California to slide into the ocean, but Orange County can go be an oil-platformed surrounded island any time it wants to go.
It was bad enough when the president had to be Pontifex Maximus–that was Jerry Falwell’s lasting gift to the world. But since 9/11 he’s got to be Defender of the Faith, too.
** Super-size me Jesus! **
Junk-food faith for a fat-head nation!
Obama wants to reach out to fundies? Casting pearls before the swinish, he’s already carried obligatory politico-religious hypocrisy too far. The “Rev” Rick should be seen for the lying fraud that he is. McCain was correct in 2000 about maggots at the GOP’s core.
A nation overwhelmingly god-fearing also overwhelmingly rejects science. My fellow country-persons lack the critical intelligence to evaluate the garbage they put in their brains.
The US is an aberration among developed nations in its affinity for xian enthusiasms and in its failure to accept now elementary basic truths like evolution via natural selection.
America the free? Nonsense. I am an atheist, an *anti-supernaturalist* to be precise. Therefore, I belong to the most despised minority in the US. Why according to GHW Bush, I’m not fit to be a citizen.
I’ll tolerate fundies only when everyone’s “freedom of conscience” under the US Constitution is restored and respected. The US is still (barely) a secular state which has the misfortune of selective amnesia towards the political ideology of christo-fascism, dominionism. If you haven’t read Margaret Atwood’s “The Handmaid’s Tale” do it before election day.
The US has been a secular state from its inception. It is *not* one nation under a non-existent god. Not under child molesting priests, not under fanatical tax-dodging televangelists, not under cabals of delusional fundies seeking to overthrow the Republic. The people are sovereign.
bipolar2 © 2008
Reagan won the Cold War without firing a shot??! That sounds right…
*cough* Nicaragua *cough*
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n4qVJnhZwWY
Where does this fat pedophile get off questioning anyone about their religious beliefs? Is he the arbiter of pious? Smarmy the Elder. And can we please go easy on the “I’ve accepted Jesus Christ as my savior” crapola? Jesus saves, Gretzky scores on the rebound.
commiegirl: commiegirl: you rock!
I just saw Tropic Thunder and all I have to say is I hope they all take a trip down…SATAN’S ALLEY!!!
mattbolt: Damn!! Now I’ve got coffee down my shirt front…
Does this immense goateed whale of a preacher know that gluttony is one of those deadly sins?
Apparently not.