the horror

Watch The New Conservative ‘Spoof’ Movie Trailer!

Here’s the trailer for An American Carol, which was first shown to the world on the O’Reilly Factor last night. Movie trailers rarely debut on Bill O’Reilly’s terrible show, but this is a conservative “spoof” movie starring the few Republican actors in Hollywood. The film’s target is the American Left as personified by Michael Moore, the fat clown no one has ever liked, except maybe 4-5 anonymous Internet commenters for a single week in 2003. The plot: Moore is trying to eliminate the Fourth of July holiday! But Gen. Frasier Crane simply cannot let him get away with this. The film is expected to gross $750 trillion dollars at the domestic box office.[YouTube]

About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

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81 comments

  1. AnnieGetYourFun

    Wait, I’m sorry. Repubs are trying their hands at ‘humor’? I smell a great big FAIL.

  2. SayItWithWookies

    I thought Niedermeyer got fragged in the ‘Nam. Turns out he’s hiding in a port-a-john with two other Republicans — which is also believable, btw.

  3. Strictly for the Tardcore

    You can tell it’s a latter-day Zucker spoof because it takes the biggest, easiest target, makes all the obvious gags at said target’s expense, adds hits to the face and nutz, ’cause, you know, they’re funny or something, and then pats itself on the back for being so hysterically awesome.

    You can actually use the same rubrick to tell if it’s a repub attempt at humor…

  4. sezme

    Michael Moore is still loveable even when fictionally being fucked up the ass by (the real) Bill O’Reilly. Wait, at the beginning did O’Reilly really say “I, your homo correspondent?”

  5. The Real JR Revisted

    [re=61050]graceless[/re]: Jesus Christ… since Cheers. What is that? Like 1987 or so?

  6. Not_So_Much

    I make something similar every a.m. while I read the paper. But I don’t force people to look at it…

  7. american mutt

    Ha ha, silly liberals.

    Why can’t we have non-partisan comedies that just make fun of everyone? The South Park creators are republicans right?

  8. Cathangover

    Since the dawn of spoof, my favorite part has always been the old standby of Trace Adkins singing about how fucking great America is.

  9. BadNewsJack

    Did I just see that right? Rosie O’Donnell?? David Alan Grier? WTF?!!! Has the world gone mad?

  10. Jobbotch

    [re=61050]graceless[/re]: Oh God, including Cheers? I feel like the first episodes of that one were in black and white.

  11. Strictly for the Tardcore

    [re=61056]american mutt[/re]: I don’t know that they’re repubs so much as they think everybody’s worthy of mockery.

  12. anabellum

    “i’m the angel of freaking death, you turdhead”…the new, definitive, American Meme(TM) heard round the world…

  13. brianyc

    anyone notice the part where they flash the praise for “the master of movie satire” actually seems to be a quote by david zucker himself??

  14. Waldo Geraldo Faldo

    Am I an “R word” or did the blurb naming David Zucker the master of satire and spoof come from David Zucker himself?

  15. botlrokit

    [re=61000]nyhfrog[/re]: I’d wager Mel Gibson.

    With Kevin Farley in a lead role, is it possible that we could expect other talentless, grabass brothers to appear in this movie? Say, Brian Doyle-Murray? Stephen Baldwin? Jim Belushi? Charlie Murphy? Jeb Bush?

  16. Maus

    [re=61064]Jobbotch[/re]: Yeah, they called themselves Libertarians for a while but considering the Paulvolution’s public face, I’m not so sure they’d identify with the modern movement anymore.

  17. botlrokit

    [re=61074]brianyc[/re]: yeah, saw that. I was thinking Mel Brooks myself, but if David Zucker wants to claim such an honor, fuck it… let’s give it to him. Mel’s already got his props.

  18. irisheyes

    I’m starting to think that Wonkette editors own shares in Absolut. For the past three Fridays they have managed to drive me into the loving arms of my martini well before appropriate cocktail hours.

  19. momentum57

    I can’t believe what negative nancies you all are nor that i just wrote negative nancies. I am sure that it will have its moments and if you cant laugh at your self who can you laugh at. The man has done some great work and made fun of republicans and liberal along his life time. I am sure that you remember the main plot in the naked gun and not the one where reggie jackson was going to kill the queen and not the third one. Anyhow it will be brilliant just laugh at the fat man mikey moore cant say it was a bad movie because as much as I liked Canadian Bacon (you have to live around the border to get the jokes) it was a massive failure.

  20. economywine

    So three republicans and a fat guy in a porta-potty… and they’re slapping each other? Whoa… maybe Zucker really is the master?

  21. ejcsanfran

    I thought the funniest part of the whole clip was Bill’s intro – I thought he said “And I, your homo correspondent, am in it”.

  22. Wee Mousie

    Rated R,for naked stupidity.

    Only the line where the Falafel Kid admits he has no reason, but he just likes slapping Michael Moore, and where Farley, as Moore, tries to touch a woman’s breast once he believes she can’t see or hear him, is funny.

    Why? Because somewhere there is a grain of truth in it.

    Reich Wing humor usually fails, because most often, they substitute meanness for this essential ingredient.

  23. Maus

    [re=61101]momentum57[/re]: I liked Michael Moore in Team America because it wasn’t one of those THIS IS WHAT CONSERVATIVES ACTUALLY BELIEVE “jokes” like what you’d expect from passive-aggressive dry-drunk Glenn Beck.

  24. BadNewsJack

    [re=61119]Cathangover[/re]: Dude that looked like Rosie O’Donnell and since my comp doesnt have sound, well watever.

  25. Shmucky DeFukhed

    [re=60997]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]:

    The Repubs can’t try their hand at humor? The Dems get to have all the fun by running the Messiah?

  26. melving

    Why didn’t they get Jimmie “JJ” Walker for this one? He is a RWer, right? It seems that if you are looking for washed up, D-list, “stars”, he’d be a good choice. BTW, Who the fuck is Rosie O’Connell?

  27. greensprout

    Oh hey, super-cheap old hat pot shots at women and black people! Are we sure this isn’t just a commercial for the RNC?

  28. lolbyist

    I guess only liberals can make fun of liberals.

    Or anything.

    This could have been funny, for realzies


  29. Post author
    Jim Newell

    [re=61174]lolbyist[/re]: conservatives can try humor. but parody isn’t very sharp when it’s against michael moore? also, i don’t think that awful country singer is in there as a joke.


  30. Post author
    Jim Newell

    actually, conservatives *don’t* get to make spoofs of liberals, because conservatives have ruined the country and world for the last eight years.

  31. Darehead

    “spoof on the ‘far left’”

    ‘Murica has no “far left”! ‘Murica barely has a left left, but it does have right, further right, still further right, far right, very far right, off-the-map right….

  32. mookworthjwilson

    [re=61052]The Real JR Revisted[/re]: So ashamed for the “snozzberries taste like snozzberries” guy from Super Troopers…

  33. mookworthjwilson

    [re=61101]momentum57[/re]: Dude…I’ll have what he’s having…that has to be some good shit…

  34. Franklin Pierce & Pierce

    If we’re lucky, Zucker will next direct an adaptation of “Storm Saxon”; the fascist/racist, pro-government action movie in “V for Vendetta” .

  35. Serolf Divad

    My question is this: how do Conservatives decide which absurd conspiracy theory merits serious treatment and which to treat as a spoof? ’cause in this movie Michael Moore is trying to eliminate the 4th of July and we’re supposed to see that for the ridiculous, ha, ha, premise that the filmmakers wish it were. But in about three months Fox News is going to start rolling out their old “War on Christmas” bullshit and we’re supposed to take that as being as serious as a heart attack. Or maybe the line between satire and reality is not really relevant to conservative propagandists.

    Prediction: On or around June 1st, 2009 Bill O’Reilly will make the follwing statement on his show:

    “You may recall that last October the film “An American Carol” spoofed the idea of far-left filmmaker Michael Moore trying to eliminate the 4th of July Holiday. Well believe it or not, recently our film crew ran accross a far-left group that’s trying to do just that.”

    And the segment that follows will focus on a borderline schizophrenic guy who blieves himself to be the reincarnation of Geronimo and who lives in his mom’s basement and once put up a free geocities website protesting the injustices that our government has visited on the Native American population and suggesting that the 4th of July should be viewed as a day of mourning rather than celebration. And O’Reilly will conclude by noting that said website has gotten over 300 hits*

    *Since 1997.

  36. Larry McAwful

    [re=61101]momentum57[/re]: Laugh at myself? Not where that movie’s concerned. What’s this about liberals wanting to ban the Fourth of July? That’s more like a parody of the way conservatives think about liberals, pretending that their anti-liberal smears from 1974 still hold water today. I don’t mind being lampooned, but considering that the whole movie is based on a premise that works out to be a jab at conservatives more than liberals, I feel guilty, because I know this is the best attempt that conservatives can make at satire. It makes me sad, sad for the conservatives.

  37. Bathroom Goblin

    Shouldnt Kelsy Grammer turn himself in under some Three Stikes law? It’s the honorable thing to do and the GOP is all about honor… and child penis.

  38. Jingo

    My God! After watching that, I now envy Chris Farley’s rotting, overweight corpse. The funniest part was that guy at the beginning with the turkey neck and one wandering eye. He reminds me of a modern day Marty Feldman… sans the good looks.

  39. ManchuCandidate

    [re=61101]momentum57[/re]:
    You mean like the Faux Newz version of the Daily Show that bombed horribly? I saw part of a couple of eps. Wow. It sucked large.

  40. snig

    I think of the difference between the two veins of humour as Doonesbury vs. Mallard Fillmore. That’s probably too cruel to the conservatives, maybe I should say that Prickly City. It sucks slightly less.

    From the wiki on Blog Criticism of Mallard Fillmore:
    Blog criticism
    The strip has been continuously criticized by a variety of blogs due to its alleged lack of humor. According to Chris Kelly, the strip is an “actual disgrace” and noted that “Reading it is like watching the loneliest creep at the gun show try to pick up a waitress by quoting George Will, throw up on himself, and cry.”[8] Comic Curmudgeon states he doesn’t comment about Mallard Fillmore, because to do so would be “as foaming, angry, and unfunny as Mallard Fillmore itself” and goes on to say “the strip itself is a sham of a comic strip” [9] An entire blog, What’s Wrong With Mallard Fillmore, is devoted to provide “A daily analysis of the comic strip which manages to be less funny than Mary Worth”. A search for “mallard fillmore not funny” on Google returns more than 10,000 results. [10]

  41. Advocatus_Diaboli

    So besides JJ Walker, is there any D-list republican retard celebrity NOT in this crapfest?

  42. SayItWithWookies

    What’s Republican comedy about? Um…maybe murdering Americans who believe in the separation of church and state. Are you laughing yet?

    In a scene that Sokoloff described, but didn’t bring, Patton and his soldiers storm a courthouse that’s about to remove the Ten Commandments and start opening fire on the people trying to stop them. “You can’t shoot these people!” Malone says. “They’re not people!” says Patton. “They’re the ACLU!” At this point we see that the ACLU members are unkillable George Romero zombies.

    Gee, don’t I remember Bill O’Reilly getting incensed because Kos and HuffPo commenters said mean things about conservatives? Oh wait — more hilarity ensues:

    ‘…Jon Voight is playing George Washington. In a clip we saw, Washington takes Malone to St. Paul’s Cathedral to lecture him on freedom of religion and “freedom of speech, which you abuse.” Malone is grossed out by dust in the priest’s box, so the doors open onto the smoldering ruins of the World Trade Center. “This is the dust of 3000 innocent human beings!” bellows Washington. Malone whimpers that he’s just making movies. Washington won’t have it. “Is that what you plan to say on Judgment Day?”’

    Oh my — just wiping away tears from imagining the laughs that are gonna come out of that scene! Okay, this is an unattributed review, so it could be complete bullshit — on the other hand, that is pretty consistent with the craptasticness of the trailer.

    http://www.606studios.com/bendisboard/showthread.php?t=159477

  43. lolbyist

    Want to see a move that makes fun of Michael Moore FTW?

    TEAM AMERICA!

    They even stuffed his puppet with giblets so that when it aspoloded they would splatter all over the scene.

  44. lumpenprole

    Maybe some “left fringe” groups should organize a pointless boycott, make a big deal out of not watching his show or something something.

  45. momentum57

    You don’t think that O’Rely who is a fatuous oaf was making fun of his persona by say “no I just like slapping you”

    The only thing that I want out of this movie is turbulence shaking boobies

  46. Sabre_Justice

    Somebody should sue over this one.

    This looks much more like a parody of conservatives than liberals. And please tell me that’s the original Robert Downey, not the Iron Man we all know and love. Civil War was bad enough.

  47. Nice_Pete

    [re=61349]momentum57[/re]: Slapping is merely one instrument in Bill’s expansive sexual harassment tool-box

  48. james_cambridge

    [re=61216]slowhansolo[/re]: Okay, I’ll start the betting at $200 million domestic…”

    It’ll be lucky to gross $200,000. But if the reich-wing noise machine really, really gets behind it, it might gross as much as Howard The Duck.

    Meanwhile, the anti-Patriot Act screed disguised as a movie about an insane man who dresses as a Bat to fight crime just became the second biggest movie of all time behind Titanic today. Take that Zucker and Farley!!

  49. regisgoat

    [re=61211]ch36u3v4r4[/re]: Did they have Navy SEALs in the big war? I’m thinking no, but these erstwhile patriots couldn’t even bother to check. It’s not the last refuge of a scoundrel, it’s the first.

  50. regisgoat

    [re=61229]ManchuCandidate[/re]: It was a dog egg, and yet Stephanopolous felt honor bound to excerpt it on his show–to put its lousy sub-to-the-millionth power ripoff of SNL’s news right next to Jon Stewart.

  51. snig

    [re=61658]Nice_Pete[/re]:
    Though his MO is usually to be on the phone with a coworker while slapping something.

  52. dcjdjay

    The left offers plenty of material to spoof.
    The problem is that this idiot, Zucker, while taking on the left, has also fully embraced GWB and his rubbish politics. That negates any attempts at spoofing. Margaret Cho spoofs lesbians all the time, but I dont see her worshipping at the altar of Fred Phelps.

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