WASHINGTON, DC, 03:07 AM, MON NOVEMBER 9 | Advertise on Wonkette | tips@wonkette.com | SUBMIT A TIP | RSS
TAX ME BABY

John McCain Makes Classic ‘Wisecrack’ About His Tax Plan Being A Lie

FIVE AND A HALF YEARS, ALANCheck out the evolution of John McCain’s responses at an event today about whether he plans to raise the payroll tax. First: “You know I’m opposed to tax increases.” Then: “I think I can convince people on the other side of the table that we do not need tax increases.” Finally: “I have to be against tax increases, as you know.” Straightest talk of all time. Other famous McCain campaign responses to this question in the past have included that he would not raise this tax “under any imagineable circumstance” and “I don’t want tax increases. But that doesn’t mean that anything is off the table.” So he may have to raise taxes, but that wouldn’t be tax hike, because that’s what Barack Obama does, while shirtless. [Washington Post]


4:29 PM on Fri August 15 2008
By Jim Newell
1015 Views

  1. SayItWithWookies says at 4:31 pm, August 15th, 2008

    Is that photo a depiction of what he calls “lobbying?”

  2. AngryBlakGuy says at 4:32 pm, August 15th, 2008

    …HMMMMMMM, mayonnaise sandwich YUMMMMMMM!!!

  3. NoWireHangers says at 4:33 pm, August 15th, 2008

    Don’t choke on it WALNUTS!, relax the gag reflect…

  4. loudmouthredhead says at 4:33 pm, August 15th, 2008

    “The waitress said they call this ‘The Craig’. Now I see why! NOM NOM NOM”

  5. tunamelt says at 4:34 pm, August 15th, 2008

    It’s like he’s playing telephone, with himself, and then the voters alllllll the way at the other end.

  6. Is this photo from one of those food eating contests? I mean how long is that freaking sandwich? He’s still got another six inches on the table. In your face Kobayashi U.S.A, U.S.A.!!!

  7. Strictly for the Tardcore says at 4:36 pm, August 15th, 2008

    This just in: Walnuts! demonstrates Republican values by deepthroating the biggest, deepthroatable object he can find.

  8. Johnny Zhivago says at 4:36 pm, August 15th, 2008

    Tube Steaks!!!

  9. Johnny Zhivago says at 4:37 pm, August 15th, 2008

    Wait, a minute, isn’t that a Larry Craig “SuperTuber”

  10. Noodle Salad says at 4:37 pm, August 15th, 2008

    It’s not a tax hike, it’s a tax shuffle with a walker.

  11. SayItWithWookies says at 4:37 pm, August 15th, 2008

    It’s okay if he raises payroll taxes, because he won’t like it. Just like torturing Afghan farmers. And going to war with Russia over who-the-fuck-knows-what.

  12. He’s still got another six inches on the table

    And three more under it. Take that, Hopey!

  13. El Bombastico says at 4:37 pm, August 15th, 2008

    “I have to absolutely inhale this tube steak, as you know.”

  14. Cape Clod says at 4:38 pm, August 15th, 2008

    On the positive side, I didn’t think he could get his elbows that high.

  15. loudmouthredhead says at 4:39 pm, August 15th, 2008

    “Senator, you say you won’t raise taxes, but your position seems to have changed.”
    “My friends, I meant that…NOM NOM MMMPH”

    *Need a Moment?* Brought to you by Twix

  16. One hand is for guiding, and the other hand is for pushing.

  17. So, we come to this. WALNUTS defending the inevitability of Abba and taxes.

  18. AngryBlakGuy says at 4:41 pm, August 15th, 2008

    …GEEZ LOOK AT THE CHEEK POUCH!!!! IT FEEEEEEEDS!!!

  19. The Real JR Revisted says at 4:41 pm, August 15th, 2008

    Since he will obviously be our next president, I request a photoshop of that sandwich as a kitten. We must uphold our traditions, you know.

  20. tunamelt says at 4:41 pm, August 15th, 2008

    SayItWithWookies: Yeah, it’s just something he absolutely has to do but doesn’t really enjoy, like eating broccoli or teh butt sechs.

  21. loudmouthredhead says at 4:42 pm, August 15th, 2008

    He’s just doing that to appeal to the base…or to proposition them? I’m not sure which.

  22. NotUrEvryDayWEzl says at 4:42 pm, August 15th, 2008

    This is making me hungry.

  23. tunamelt says at 4:43 pm, August 15th, 2008
  24. pondscum says at 4:44 pm, August 15th, 2008

    Because that’s what Obama does, while shirtless.

    Can we keep on this meme? And get photos?

  25. Strictly for the Tardcore says at 4:44 pm, August 15th, 2008

    Cape Clod: Well, you know he can’t raise his arms above his head. FIVE AND A HALF YEARS, ALAN!!!

  26. tunamelt says at 4:46 pm, August 15th, 2008

    pondscum: I really need to know Michael Phelps’ shirtless position on taxes.

  27. Beef Supreme says at 4:47 pm, August 15th, 2008

    Read my lips. No new CHOMP CHOMP MMMPH OOMF NOM BUURRRRRP!

  28. pondscum says at 4:49 pm, August 15th, 2008

    tunamelt: “shirtless position”…is it getting hot in here?

  29. BadNewsJack says at 4:52 pm, August 15th, 2008

    Reminds me of my Aunt, Tia Big Lupe.

  30. Cape Clod: *crack* “Ooh, that’s gonna hurt come winter!”

  31. shortsshortsshorts says at 4:55 pm, August 15th, 2008

    “Read my cheeks. No. New. Taxes.”

  32. SayItWithWookies says at 4:55 pm, August 15th, 2008

    tunamelt: And auctioning his wife off to yuppie outlaw bikers.

  33. Botswana Meat Commission FC says at 4:55 pm, August 15th, 2008

    Does “massive continental land war with Russia” count as an “imaginable circumstance”? Just curious.

  34. tunamelt says at 4:56 pm, August 15th, 2008
  35. pickleandcake says at 4:56 pm, August 15th, 2008

    i’m going on a tax hike this weekend.

    does it kind of look like mccain is being forced to eat that sandwich? like maybe the pants behind him have a “gun” to his head? can i also just say that “nom nom nom” makes eating sound so adorable?

  36. tsunami says at 4:56 pm, August 15th, 2008

    notice…there’s another dog in front of him.

  37. S.Luggo says at 5:07 pm, August 15th, 2008

    He said peyote tax, not payroll tax. Open your ears, America!

  38. WadISay says at 5:09 pm, August 15th, 2008

    That jowl-bulge must make it tough for McCain to do the pantomime blowjob thingy.

  39. Wee Mousie says at 5:10 pm, August 15th, 2008

    Someone told McCain their was a three-day supply of Viagra in every Oscar Meyer wiener.

  40. pondscum says at 5:11 pm, August 15th, 2008

    tunamelt: He’s so goofy looking and yet so adorable at the same time.

  41. trophy(forparticipation)wife says at 5:49 pm, August 15th, 2008

    AngryBlakGuy: Breaking down one stereotype at a time.

  42. AngryBlakGuy says at 7:53 pm, August 15th, 2008

    trophy(forparticipation)wife: …thank you, I try my best! *taking a bite out of a fried chicken leg*

  43. Mahousu says at 8:17 pm, August 15th, 2008

    pondscum: Are you talking about McCain? I’ve lost track.

  44. liquiddaddy says at 10:19 am, August 16th, 2008

    He has about a cup and a half of broken glass on his hot dog! Did he pick that up in Hanoi? Did torture food become his comfort food?

  45. What with McBush being surrounded by hot, thin, sweaty young Vietnamese boys for 5.5 years, it’s no surprise that he developed a taste for eating Asian.

    What’s that John? Another order of cream of Sum Dum Goi? To go?

    You do know that he was a sailor, don’t you.

    Jerry w
    http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com

  46. Slutty_Chola_Cobbler says at 4:51 pm, August 16th, 2008

    Shouldn’t they purée that sandwich with prune juice of something?
    Gramps is gonna choke.

  47. Schadenfried says at 10:52 am, August 18th, 2008

    He doesn’t teh sexeh that “Barry” has when sucking off a hot dog.

Leave a Reply