Wonkette
Everyone should thank CNN today for thoroughly debunking the “rumor” that Barack Obama is the Antichrist (seriously, this is somehow classified as a “rumor,” that Obama may have magical powers). The big headline, “OBAMA THE ANTICHRIST?” along with the subhed claiming that this is a real “debate” online and thousands of other images of ANTICHRIST ANTICHRIST EVIL SATAN were very necessary for the viewers watching said debunking. Raw Story has the video. Oh and let’s thank CNN for covering this same thing yesterday, too. [Raw Story]
Sure, but is he a UNICORN?
Yes, what would we do without cable news networks? A nation turns its grateful eyes to you.
Seriously? I’ve so fucking given up on main stream media.
Wow CNN needs to research a little harder. Reverand Wright made it very clear that Hussein Iraq Bin Laden Obama is a Muslim. But we all know that the antichrist is about a mid 20’s jew living in Israel.
And of course, McCain gets a pass. Because if you were tortured for FIVE AND A HALF YEARS, Alan Colmes, you’d be the antichrist too!
I think it may take an Anti-Christ to get some shit done around here.
I read something yesterday about how Barry has to win by a landslide in order to change the mainstream media. Seems they support Republicans so much because they are scared of Dick Cheney. Apparently if Barry wins big time, they will become scared the other way. Or something.
Cable news and religious fundamentalism — two places where stupidity never goes out of style.
Oh Jesus Chr—
Wait.
Actually, when they first came up with the concept, I think it was supposed to apply to Nero. 2000 fucking years ago. Oh, and Saddam Hussein. It says in the Bible.
Anyway, this is the hotness: http://www.barackobamaantichrist.blogspot.com/
Don’t worry! L. Ron Hubbard will save you all from that sneaky Xenu!
That’s so typical of mainstream media, trying to create a controversy where none exists. Everyone knows Barry’s the anti-christ.
Wait wait wait…
If Hopey is the anti-christ, shouldn’t the fundies be pumped?
His rise will usher in the second coming of Christ (James Dobson) and transport them to the land of honey and wine (and bathroom stall cruising).
I’m calling a landslide in November…
So my new bicycle is the Anti-Christ? I was totally expecting the Anti-Christ to emerge from McCain’s left cheek in a spray of blood and melanoma.
…so when do the 4 horsemen of the apocalypse show up?
OK, but I heard that Evan Bayh is the anti-Crist.
If Obama was the anti-christ, wouldn’t the bitters want to vote for him so they can get raptured up to Jesus?
Actually, since Jerry Falwell said the Son Of Perdition will be a Jew, I’m betting on Gilbert Godfried. Drives me crazy!
Is this the CNN version of “teaching the controversy”?
My mom is a middle school art teacher. One of her sixth graders burst into tears during the primaries last spring. When my mom asked her what was wrong, she said that she was terrified Barack Obama would beat Hillary because her grandmother told her he was the antichrist.
Franklin Pierce & Pierce: …yeah, they are really classy with aborted fetus 3/4’s of the way down! Bunch of festering puss infested abscesses
AngryBlakGuy: what are you a Notre Dame fan?
stew: Yes, Gilbert Godfried could drive anyone NUCKING FUTS with the sheer power of his voice.
AngryBlakGuy: They’re delayed because Famine is still finishing up the chips and salsa.
Haters. Why can’t he just be The Christ Remix (feat. Lil’ Wayne)?
stew: I’m betting on Joe Lieberman.
I looked up the characteristics of the anti-christ. I don’t know anything about this site, but the list seems to match what I have read.
I think at the very most, Barry is the anti- baby Jesus.
http://www.eadshome.com/antichrist.htm
Wait, I thought Dick Cheney was the anitchrist.
Supernatural_Delegate: True. They’ll all be easing back in their recliners on January 20th, waiting to be raptured. But hey, crazy evil sex orgy back on earth for the rest of us!
Supernatural_Delegate: beat me to the rapture. But I’m pretty sure that the second coming is actually Bobby Jindal.
AngryBlakGuy: “And I saw, and behold a white Prius; and he that sat in it had a bowl of arugula; and a crown was given unto him: and he went forth conquering, and to conquer.” –Revelations 6:1-2
trophy(forparticipation)wife: Actually that list is making me think a lot of Dubya.
9. He will try to change the laws, perhaps to gain an advantage for his new kingdom and era
[Dan 7:25] - (PATRIOT ACT, Waterboarding, etc. etc.)
13. He will not answer to a higher earthly authority; “He will do as he pleases”[Daniel 11:36] - (Uh…)
19. He will only honor a “god” of the military. His whole focus and attention will be on his military. He will conquer lands and distribute them [Daniel 11:39-44] - (Iraq)
24. He will hate a nation that initially will have some control over his kingdom, but he will destroy this nation [Rev 17:16-18] - (Iraq, with their WMDs)
25. He will appear to survive a fatal injury [Rev. 13:3; 17:8] - (When he choked on that pretzel)
27. He will be empowered by the devil himself [Rev. 13:2] - (Cheney)
To quote Kent Brockman: “It’s in Revelations, people!!!”
The Incomparable Tiny Valdez: No, he’s just a dick.
AngryBlakGuy: Barry’s still trying to figure out which horseman he’s going to make veep
Don’t be so quick to judge… has anyone here ever actually seen Barry and the Antichrist in the same place at the same time? No? I’m just saying. Wake up people!!1!
Noodle Salad: When the Rapture happens, I call dibs on their wallets.
I thought that was a pretty good, well researched story. They cited a blog, an online poll, a google search, youtube stats…
Supernatural_Delegate: Oh man, so if that happens will they all FINALLY be raptured out of our plane of existence? If not, can we pretend and “help” them do that anyways? Just think, we could reclaim the south!
Franklin Pierce & Pierce: No, it’s Obama for sure.
2. He will subdue three kings [Daniel 7:8, 24]
Mark Wahlberg, Ice Cube and George Clooney are all in the bag.
Besides, anyone knows that the Antichrist is going to be a ginger…I’m in the running behind Carrot Top, I think.
The rapture is going to come election night when they pronounce Barry the winner. At least for me.
I’ve been wondering what meme would be dropped on this Friday afternoon in August.
Auntie Christ and Uncle Joe (he’s a movin’ kinda slow)
http://content.answers.com/main/content/wp/en/6/60/Unclejoe.jpg
Da Derga: I get the commemorative Dale Earnhardt plates!
The anti-christ? wtf is going on when this is the “debate”? Well, we could always go to war. Are parts of the country simply crazy?
Franklin Pierce & Pierce: i am a believer.
Beef Supreme: FTW!
loudmouthredhead: Da Derga: I’m just looking forward to the “Precious Moments” bankruptcy.
Lying to get into a war which resulted in the deaths of >100,000.
Joking about Armaggeddon, ignoring the AIDS crisis and allowing millions to get infected.
Pushing for a needless war that enriches a shadowy company that you have used to run.
Being smart, charismatic and popular and against stupid wars.
The first three somehow get a pass, but the last guy is the one who sets off people Antichrist alert? And as Stew notes, Gilbert Godfried still walks the Earth…
Does the Constitution specifically prohibit antichrists from being president? No? If not, then this is a non-issue people, let’s move on to matters of substance… like plagarized Trollop Cookie recipes, Exotic Terrorist Hand-Greetings and Mrs. Jenna Butthole’s Controversial Black Pastor.
loudmouthredhead: As long as I get the commemorative 9/11 coins from the Franklin Mint.
Obama = (Britney Spears + Osama Bin Laden + the AntiChrist)
It’s a good thing this campaign isn’t going negative!
obfuscator: To be “first Lady” you should really have to beat the opponent’s wife at “Chef Stadium” on the Food Channel.
Now the McCain campaign is saying this sassy preacher’s mention of McCunt’s adultery only proves how sleazy Obama is. WTF?
Noodle Salad: Not to mention the end of the Thomas Kinkade empire.
Bush has been the Anti-christ for a long time now. there is a web site to prove this. On the inter-tubes.
Wake up, people!
…now that I think about it, why in the hell would the “devil” use a black man(one of the most persecuted and scrutinized races on this planet) to do his work. You would think he would send someone who is easily accepted by the people. Someone who looks like them, someone who sounds like them, someone who they would want to have a beer with, someone with a disarming level of intelligence, someone who “portrayed” and “exuded” their religious beliefs, someone who used “code words/terms” to communicate with them, someone who would make them believe he would protect them. Hmmmmmmm, I wonder who this person could be?
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. Considering the behavior, attitude and beliefs of the Xian, I’m glad to be cheering for their nemesis.
Besides, that means Obie-baby will rule for like a thousand years.
Hmm… is 012009 the number of the O-beast?
This is better than last week’s story:
“BARACK OBAMA A DARKIE?”
AngryBlakGuy: Mickey Mouse?
AngryBlakGuy: The pope?
Has anyone actually read the Revelation of St. John the Deluded all the way through? What a piece of complete crap that book is. I’d rather be forced to read The Sound and the Fury again. Anyway I looked through as much of it as I could stand, and I didn’t see one thing about the Antichrist being uppity. So I think that settles it.
sati demise:
I think the Anti-Christ is supposed to be charismatic and liked.
On either count, there is not way he is the A.C.
He might be the anti-Hawking though… thus proving the law of conservation of matter applies to intelligence as well.
itgetter: I’m waiting out the rapture at Hedonism.
shortsshortsshorts: BadNewsJack: …I was kinda leaning toward the purple Tele-Tubby!
If the subhumans insist that this Antichrist fellow is a Jew, why does no one mention Lieberman?
Franklin Pierce & Pierce: Actaully, that sounds a lot like Reagan, too.
You know what’s awesome about religion? Not a fucking thing.
loquaciousmusic: debatable.
SayItWithWookies: I think Thomas Jefferson thought it was the ravings of a lunatic.
loquaciousmusic: [i]This is better than last week’s story: “BARACK OBAMA A DARKIE?”[/i]
Rumors have been swirling about Obama’s darkie tendencies for a while. I heard his nipples were brown.
SayItWithWookies: I haven’t read the Book of Revelations but I actually read a few of those Left Behind books. I thought they were a hilarious and oft-brilliant satire of modern evangelical beliefs and theories. Five stars.
These people really hate us black folks a lot don’t they?
Why is our election turning into a Christopher Lee movie? If I see Christopher Walken anywhere near Invesco Field, I’m fuckin’ outta there.
glamourdammerung:
Lieberman’s out because the AC is supposed to be clever, charismatic and beloved.
Lieberman could be the anti-anti-Christ.
Pfft. Last night CNN had on one of the tards… er, I mean… one of the supremely gifted writers who penned the Left Behind series, and asked him if Hopey O is the AC. He said that it certainly wasn’t true, because nobody suspects the AC of being the AC. Ipso facto, ergo, if people are speculating about Hopey O being the AC, he is not.
Now if a massive fundytard like that can exercise such circuitous but compelling logic, just how fucked-in-the-head do you have to be to believe this shite?
Also, I’ve been telling the Mrs. a lot recently - last night, yet again - that I am sick to death of CNN’s breathless teasers for non-stories: “Coming up - will Reverend Jeremiah Wright launch a book tour and imperil the Obama campaign yet again??? Stay tuned and we’ll give you the straight facts.”
Well, the straight fact is that this was already debunked on Wonkette two days earlier, meaning that CNN is indulging in barrel-scraping yellow “journalism” to juice their viewership numbers, at the expense of any claim they might make to actual “journalism.” How the fuck is it possible that CNN is two days behind the curve of a satirical pol-site?
Of course, they’re not behind the curve. They know this is spurious claptrap before they even pose the question. They just don’t mind trafficking in utter rubbish - the Anti-Christ, for fuck’s sake??? - in the guise of “keeping you informed.”
Rant over. For now…. But I’m keeping an eye on you, Blitzer and Cooper!
qwerty42: Yes, parts of the country are simply crazy. LARGE parts.
Canuckledragger: To think that once upon a time, I looked on CNN as a place to go for sane discourse, it and PBS. Now I don’t even watch the Newshour anymore, much less CNN. The end for me with CNN came a day or two after Reagan died. Just before a batch of commercials it was announced that when the commercials were over we would be hearing from Nancy Reagan about stem cell research. At the end of the commercials we had about ten seconds or more of blackness followed by no Nancy Reagan. I watched outraged for the next 30 minutes or so, nada about Nancy Reagan, stem cell research, or any reason why not. Liberal media, HAH!
“The One” clearly is a “wink wink” message to appeal to the “wild card” demographic of Focus on the Family Fundies who are submissive to their leader, Saint Dobson, who originally said he would *not vote* for McCain under any circumstances. But just recently (after “The One”) McCain has said “well, maybe McCain.” (Fundies are anointed by God so they can change their mind whenever God tells them.)
But what is really interesting is that these Fundies are now “mainstream” Fundies — after all, cheez whiz, this Obama = AntiChrist is on CNN now — because of the rise of the more extreme rightwing Paultard Fundies who package the whole Paultard thingy of anti-illuminati yada yada into the Revelation vision. So, the Paultard Fundies are more likely to see Bush, Sr–Bush Jr–McCain as the consortium anti-Christ along with all the other CFR-UN-global missionary types which *includes* Saint Warren of Saddleback Church fame. It is likely this is the faction which is passing around the rumor that McCain is the Antichrist based on his possibly Romanian roots and 100-year war statement.
http://www.thenation.com/blogs/dreyfuss/343356
So basically when you watch tomorrow night’s “values” forum, all 3 players — Obama, McCain and the host Warren — are all accused of Anti-Christedness!
Wonkette = DC Gossip
CNN/MSM/MS’Muricans = AC Gossip
ACDC: Interesting viewing all this from Asia on Aug 15th which happens to be Surrender Day, when the Japanese were forced to extract the Church from the State.
Instead war-loser ‘Muricans are fusing Church and State together like never before.
I am so fucking tired of the misogyny! Hillary Clinton is far more capable and prepared to be the Anti-Christ than that newbie hope-mongerer, Obama
I hope he is the Anti-Christ. Maybe something useful will finally get done around here. It’s been 2000 years since the original and all we have to show for it is the Inquisition, a couple of crusades, a Church that diddles little boys, creationism and James Dobson telling men to shower naked with their young sons.
We should definitely start an AC pool, everyone put in $5 to cover a name. That way when he comes and all the righteous are raptured, one of us left behind heathens will at lease win fabulous prizes.
Everyone knows that GW Bush is the Anti-Christ! Look how he died (of a pretzel) and came back to life. Not to mention deceiving the Elect (not that this is hard to do).
Zhu Bajie
I think Bush is the Anti-Christ but he’s just screwed that up like everything else he’s done.
There are far to many retards in this country.
snig: I’m in! My money is on Jon Stewart. Jew? check. Charming? check. Message of peace? check. The type anyone would suspect of wanting to take over the world? not likely.
Oh, and I also think we should start a pool as to how long it takes for Warren to ask Obama what he thinks of the AC rumors. My vote goes for 3 min 17 sec
October Surprise! ~ No November elections because of the war (several to choose from) making Supreme Ruler (1) use what’s left of the constitution to wipe his ass (2) as he declares the new war powers act allows him to do anything.
(1) Dick Cheney
(2) George W. Shrub
All the provisions have been put in place, including internment camps for you noisy bastards that continue to insist that we’re Americans and still in America after you’ve been told to “keep moving, there’s nothing to look at here”.
Hey, it’s not you father’s America…….. Get used to it!
Jerry w
boskolives.wordpress.com
as usual, I blame Karl Rove, who, btw IS really the anti-christ
I think the worst thing about the concentratin camps will be the TV monitors with Fox News 24/7. Chilling, ‘aint it?