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Ahh, so that's whyThe pastor who presided over the Texas-trash nuptials between Jenna Bush and her husband Mister Butthole is a long-time friend of George W. Bush, but man oh man, he hates the crap out of John McCain. This pastor — a Reverend Kirbyjon(!) Caldwell — supports Barack Obama, weird, and told a bunch of reporters yesterday that John McCain is the worst person in the world — mostly because of that time he suggested his wife join the Miss Bison Shit contest before a crowd of gangbanging bikers, as well as all the crippled wives he’s cheated on in his life.

This kind of terrorist chatter just throws the whole legitimacy of Jenna’s marriage in flux:

“Well, I don’t know a lot about John McCain’s family history, I do know, however, that as recently as last week I think it was, the Senator made a comment in South Dakota regarding his wife entering some Buffalo Chips contest which is this topless deal and if she were to enter she would probably win it and my personal opinion and based on my understanding of the Christian faith, that’s not not, N-O-T, not the type of expression that a presidential candidate, or anyone for that matter who is a follower of the Christian faith, ought to make,” said the Rev. Kirbyjon Caldwell. “I don’t know if that is a perfect case in point, but it surely does help to juxtapose the DNA of Senator Obama, if you would, versus the DNA of Senator McCain.”

“Kirbyjon” is being modest. He does, in fact, know a lot about John McCain’s family history:

“His marital history has been duly recorded,” said Caldwell, referring to McCain, “and as recently as yesterday I think it is, our pastor from Saddleback, Rick Warren indicated that he would not feel comfortable voting for an adulterer and I don’t know exactly to whom he was referring but I think the data speaks for itself, and again, at the end of the day, and I really appreciate you raising this because, at the end of the day again I think the American public deserves full revelation of the candidate’s character and competency. Character and competency. So, whatever questions that should be asked that would give the voting public an indication as to who they are and what they’ve done should be fair game.”

FIVE AND A HALF YEARS.

FIVE AND A HALF YEARS!

WE’LL BEAT KIRBYJON UP FOR FIVE AND A HALF YEARS AND SEE HOW HE LIKES IT.

Jenna Bush Wedding Pastor Rips McCain [ABC News]

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