Wonkette
One of the weirder angles on the John Edwards Sex Scandal is the part where the guy who says he’s Rielle Hunter’s baby daddy, Andrew Young, has to live in the same weird compound (OK FINE A “GATED COMMUNITY”) in North Carolina as Rielle Hunter, and then they all have to move to California, together, with their families, including Mrs. Young and their three children, because they are all in a terrible sex-induced Witness Protection Program.
“When Ms. Hunter, her baby and the Youngs moved to California around the end of last year, they all initially lived in the same residence, according to an associate of Mr. Young and Mr. Edwards.
But the arrangement strained relationships, and Ms. Hunter moved into a different residence, which cost about $6,000 a month in rent.”
If there were truly a God this would already be a sitcom in production, starring Dylan McDermott as the frazzled faux-adulterer trying to keep the peace between his old boss’s pregnant floozy (Christina Applegate) and his own comically resentful, wisecracking wife (Allison Janney). And then God would bury the production studio in hot lava.
Lawyers’ Ties Hint at Extent of Hiding Edwards’s Affair [New York Times]
Love me some Allison Janney.
I can only imagine the poor guy is thinking:
“What’s the fuck’s so great about Polygamy?”
$6K per month? For a freelance videographer with a New Age website? Floozydom pays well, I guess.
$6K a month rent? I hope either Young or Edwards was paying it.
If Andrew Young’s marriage isn’t rock solid, his wife is going to sing.
If it had Allison Janney in it, I’d totally watch it.
Also, I keep accidentally triggering that Homi Kharas guy.
Terry: jinx!
Can Suzanne Sommers get an acting job in a future new production of this story?
Hopefully for Andrew, his wife and Rielle are providing some half-time entertainment.
You can take the mill worker’s son out of the trailer park…
“The Beverly Hillbillies II”?
John-Boy should just start up a big-love cult in Arizona. “Temple of the Millworker’s Son.” Of course the FLDS might not take kindly to the TMS competition.
I’m worried that if they make a sitcom out of it, BIG LOVE would sue…
John Ritter’s reanimated corpse as Edwards.
The sitcom should be called “Bare-back’s a Bitch”
There once was a floozy named Druck
Who was in need of a quick buck
So she hooked up with John
And the web of lies was on
All for the sake of a good fuck
It can’t be polygamy unless the Olsen twins are somehow involved. It’s in the California penile code.
$6,000 bucks a month in rent?! Does she get a few $400 haircuts with that?
“The only boy who could ever teach me was the son of a millworker man.”
Man, Andrew Young has to be wondering what the fuck went wrong. One minute, he’s poised to be in the inner circle of a prez, or at least maybe a cabinet secretary. The next, he’s telling his wife that, in spite of their marriage and kids, he’s going to spend the next few years as a beard. And, oh by the way, the Bim will be staying with them.
Won’t be a shocker to read that Ms. Young boils his rabbit….or his genitals, either way.
How the hell did Kimmy Gibler make that publicity shot???
Could this possibly star the Olson twins as well? They could wear a pound of eyeliner and play two starving raccoons who visit the trashcan every night.
I thought Utah was the place to go for this kind of stuff.
Sarah’s phrase: “sex-induced Witness Protection Program” is officially my favorite thing anybody has said all week.
SayItWithWookies: Nah, reality shows are on the way out.
El Bombastico: MMMMmmmmm…..Kimmy.
Why would these Young people do that? Were they paid?
StripesAndPlaids: win.
I cannot WAIT for the Comedy Central Roast of Bob Saget this weekend!!!
“Ms. Hunter’s work for the political action committee involved making short videos of Mr. Edwards, known as Webisodes, in which she tried to capture what she considered to be his more natural side.”
Oh boy. And memo to Andrew Young: it’s over dude. You can stop humiliating your wife and children now.
MrAgro: PERFECT
I would love for a mimbo to move into my house. The thought of being ignored in stereo is just too too tantalizing.
That image is very disturbing. I wish you’d have chosen something else. I realize that it’s a shameful part of American history that we should never forget, but it’s too much.
Put Kimmy Gibbler in that sitcom. I have missed her so.
Godless Liberal *: And don’t forget Soleil Moon Frye. For, y’know, cachet.
As Guppy06 said above, Utah would be the perfect hideout place for Andrew Young.
Andy could pass himself off as a direct descendent of Brigham Young, but then he’d
have to deal with the public condemnation; “He only has two wives, what a slacker.”
Jerry w
http://boskolives.wordpress.com
I hear Joey Lawrence needs work too. At least, that what he told me through the window of my car on the corner of Colfax and Burbank last week.
Ah, but WHY the sudden move to California…middle of the night departure from a safe Southern community to the wild hinterlands of the “anything goes” Golden State of queers, nuts and freaks?
This just in from AP:
CHAPEL HILL, North Carolina: A North Carolina Ranger described in detail for the first time Thursday how law enforcement personnel forced their way inside the temple of a polygamist sect in nearby Governor’s Club while searching for a 5-month-old baby girl who had reported that she was being physically and mentally abused.
North Carolina troopers and the Governor’s Club deputy sheriff had asked leaders of the Fundamentalist Church of Modern-day Saints of John to unlock the temple doors or provide a key so they could conduct their search of the Yearning for Nomination Ranch in the most “peaceful and respectful” manner possible, Captain Buddy Smith of the North Carolina Department of Public Morality said at a news conference here.
“They opted not to do that because they would be aiding or assisting us in the desecration of their worship place,” he said. Authorities brought in a locksmith Saturday to open the secured gate but were unable to move the deadbolts to open the front doors of the temple. They also tried to use a “jaws of life” tool, normally used to extricate people trapped in cars after accidents, to open the doors but they were constructed too tightly, he said.
When all other efforts to open the temple failed, about 57 children from the polygamist sect stood in a circle around the building and watched as a SWAT team broke down the doors, Smith said. The sect members slunk to their knees in prayer, some sobbing, and one young man rushed to intervene. He was arrested on a misdemeanor charge of interfering with a public servant and has since been released on bond so long as he moves to California. Beverly Hills. Rodeo Drive. $50 an hour.
Inside the three-story temple and its basement authorities found shredded documents, but said it was unclear when they had been destroyed. They also found several beds on the top floor of the temple, where authorities suspect that older men had sex with each other and occasionally their wives, according to court documents released Wednesday. In one rumpled bed, authorities found a long strand of silky black pony-like hair, the affidavit states.
I would move into Ted Levine’s house in a heartbeat, but his wife might have something to say about it.
this makes clinton look like a class act; no mean feat.
No, no. You are right to be consistent. If a bunch of redneck religious white people closing themselves off from society behind a fence is called a compound, so is a group of rich yuppie scum.
queeraselvis v 2.0: Throw in Mayim Bialik, and I think we can get a studio deal.
Here’s a story
of a man named Edwards
Who was busy with one wife of his own…
I think we should call it “Not Big Enough House on the Prairie,” since it stars John Boy.
Come listen to a story ’bout a man named John
In a campaign he almost coulda won.
Then one day, while on the campaign trail,
He poked his penis in a chick named Rielle.
Druck, that is. Hunter too. Baby mama.
Now the next thing you know, old John’s philandering.
Kinfolks said, “John, get up off that thing.”
Said, California’s the place to send Rielle,
So he loaded up the ho and shipped her off to hell.
queeraselvis v 2.0: I listened, and it was mmmm goood!
This would have all gone away if the douchebag had said before his presidential run, Hey folks I knocked up this video chick a while ago but I’m taking responsibility for it and it’s ok with my soon to be dead wife. A man’s got needs. I’m only human. At least I like women, unlike the Republicans.
This sitcom would be a big hit, but Christina Applegate?
Nah…try Lisa Kudrow for the new-age crazy blonde.
I’m bettin’ sweet Rielle has quite the….’smelly cat’!
Ohhhhh Senator, I love your 7″ of positive energy! Let me rub your magic crystals now!
And J.K. Simmons could definitely play “Dr. Emil Skoda” on this sitcom, too, because all these pigfuckers DEFINITELY need shrinks.
What on earth are Andrew Young inlaws thinking? His parents thinking now?
Are they in on the ‘coverup’ story. Or do they think he had an affair.
National Enquirer, payoff the inlaws to spill the beans!
I feel bad for former ATL Mayor & Ambassador to the U.N. Andrew Young.