the dirt

Looks Like They Finally Got ‘Em

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The Great Media Sweepstakes of Summer 2008 has a winner! Some lackey pool reporter was lucky enough to spy on Barack Obama’s private family vacation when his shirt was off. This reporter’s sweepstakes prize basket includes $100 in Delaware lottery tickets, a free dessert at Bennigan’s, and a comical CNN Political Ticker write-up to go alongside this, the most pathetic news photograph we’ve ever seen. [CNN]

About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

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Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • mattbolt


  • SayItWithWookies

    They missed the part where he walked out on the beach and found the ocean perfectly calm, and at the behest of some surfers he waved his hands and boom! Twenty-foot swells, baby.

  • Gopherit v2.0

    These guys are worse than the paparazzi trying to get twat pictures of celebs.

  • Gopherit v2.0

    Oh, and I would like to thank them for NOT trying to get nip pics of McCain.

  • Advocatus_Diaboli

    [re=60213]Gopherit v2.0[/re]: Impossible – the NVA “removed” WALNUTS! nips.

    Too soon?

  • WhatTheHeck

    He tried to go in for a dip but he couldn’t sink below the waves. Had no other option than to walk
    on top of the foaming, wild sea. Then glide out onto the sand with the Hawaiian sun reflecting off his six pack.

  • NotUrEvryDayWEzl

    FAIL. What the hell can I do with this? The best I can manage is to add it as a blurry tile on my Barry floor mosaic.

  • Serolf Divad

    Oh, come on! It doesn’t count if he’s toweling off. Man, our Paparazzi sucks. In Europe we’d have pictures of a naked Barack and Michelle suggestively embracing in the ocean.

  • mattbolt

    Looks like some shaky-handed photographer out there with the world’s smudgiest lens has been having a busy week! First he did some freelance work snapping John Edwards for the Enquirer, then took that hot Big Foot picture, then hit the beach to take a Pulitzer-eligible snapshot of a topless presidential candidate! Man, can we start a charity to buy this guy a nice entry-level Canon or Nikon?

  • Spence

    At that distance it’s impossible to tell if he’s a but-her face or not.

  • expatinOz

    Too grainy and the bloody towel is covering his chest! What a waste of my momentary excitement at more shirtless Barack photos.

  • mattbolt

    This is the hottest erotic-voyeur-presidential-candidate-action I’ve seen since the days that the Washington Post ran a shot of a nude, oiled-up, spread-eagled Walter Mondale in ’84

  • economywine

    weak sauce.

  • Serolf Divad


    Allright, I officially just lost my lunch.

  • graceless

    [re=60210]mattbolt[/re]: Damnit. I was looking up the Britney video, and you win. I suck.

  • regisgoat

    Oh, God, this is like the time John Kerry was caught windsurfing! Windsurfing! WINDSURFING! The Democrats lose! Humiliation, defeat!

  • Wee Mousie

    Darn sneaky, that photojournalist. Tracking Obama to an unscheduled dip in the ocean when his superiors had assigned him to stake out the pool.

  • SaveMeeJeebus

    Update your references Jim; Bennigan’s is dead. CONTEMPORIZE, MAN!

  • trophy(forparticipation)wife

    Still none of him walking on water?

  • TGY

    Did someone make him darker in that pic?

  • itgetter

    Wow. Interesting mix of comments on CNN:

    -what’s next? reporting him shaving as news?
    -Unlike McCain, Obama campaigns 7 days a week.
    -Are you guys serious? This isn’t news. Leave him alone.
    -While Georgia is being brutally invaded……
    -McCain was on top of the situation in Georgia and also sending his senator allies to monitor the situation in the capital of Georgia. Barack Obama on the beach enjoying the surf? Well, I think I know who I would trust to run this country.
    -Ooh ooh! Did he have good pecs? Good abs?
    -I’d ask for equal coverage of both candidates but I really don’t care to see a shirtless McCain at the beach. How about we just leave news items like this to the tabloids? This should be above CNN.

  • wheelie

    [re=60235]trophy(forparticipation)wife[/re]: You didn’t hear? He turned all that water into wine just moments later.

    [re=60220]Serolf Divad[/re]: Seriously, it’s surprising that some British tabloid hasn’t stepped forward to do the indecent thing and publish candid pics of his vacation. Or even just photoshop something hastily, and go, “SEXY NAKED BARACK ROMPS ON BEACH!!! – MORE fake IMAGES INSIDE!!!!”

  • AngryBlakGuy

    …FAKE!!! If it really was Barack Obama, his penis would be dangling out of his pant leg!

  • Lionel Hutz Esq.
  • Lionel Hutz Esq.

    And, yes, I did go back and forth on that one.

  • trophy(forparticipation)wife

    [re=60244]wheelie[/re]: That’s change we can believe in.

  • Lionel Hutz Esq.

    I’m pretty sure that is photo-shopped, as it looks like a giant Obama astride the world with a bank of clouds behind him.

  • trophy(forparticipation)wife

    [re=60245]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: Not so fast, he could have the Irish Curse.

  • Makeithurt

    He’s such a fruit.

  • tsunami

    fukk hopey…i demand naked michelle.

  • off-white working class

    shirtless barry? hell, i’d much rather watch re-runs of the weightlifting accident at the olympics.

    you fuckin pussy!

  • itgetter

    [re=60255]off-white working class[/re]: Can’t unsee!

  • bjackrian

    Barack topless on a beach? Imagine what would have happened if they’d got Hillary!

  • Jenna&#39

    [re=60223]expatinOz[/re]: Bloody towel?! Oh no, was Hopey aborting white christian babies on the beach, again?!

  • wheelie

    [re=60245]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: Here’s the breaking British tabloid news.

  • Slutty_Chola_Cobbler

    WTF I can’t masterbate to this shiznit! I need a close up of the Peenit!

  • gjdodger

    [re=60254]tsunami[/re]: Even when Michelle is naked, she’s impeccably attired.

  • AngryBlakGuy

    [re=60261]wheelie[/re]: …hehehe well played sir, well played indeed.

  • loquaciousmusic

    Unless he had just parted the waters to save a drowning nymph, I’M NOT INTERESTED.

  • Richard Gozinya
  • mattbolt

    [re=60262]Slutty_Chola_Cobbler[/re] enters the market with a demand, [re=60271]Richard Gozinya[/re] enters to provide supply. The free market works!

  • Larry McAwful

    If Obama gets elected and continues to vacation in Hawaii, I wonder if that will cause Hawaii to become a popular vacation destination? It’ll be interesting to find out. It happened to Hyannisport, but not to Crawford. So we’ll have to wait and see.

    John McCain’s vacation would be a bus ride to Atlantic City, where they give you and the other seniors a roll of quarters so you can really cut loose.

  • SuperRounder

    Well, now we know how Hopey got the gay firefighter vote.

  • Larry McAwful

    [re=60278]SuperRounder[/re]: Yeah. Who knew it would only take collective bargaining rights to win them over?

  • NoWireHangers

    What IS THAT? You call that a shirtless Barry pic? Not at all suitable for my masturbatorium. Next time, tell the pap to get the vaseline off the lense and into his hand like a REAL AMERICAN.

  • Johnny Zhivago

    [re=60241]itgetter[/re]: If Georgia was paying me $40,000 I’d take their calls at 4am.

  • Johnny Zhivago

    [re=60305]Johnny Zhivago[/re]: I meant to say “if georgia was paying me $40,000 a MONTH I’d take their calls at 4am”.

    How about allowing EDITS of comments???

  • Oscar Folsom Cleveland

    Really? Are you sure? Looks more like a Darfur refuge running from an enormous pile of Sudanese government forces’ cocaine.

    Could be Bush, no? He’s been trying to kick his habit since that “fall down dead drunk” routine at the Pekin Orympics.

  • sarcasticusername

    meh get back to me when you’ve got bikini pics of michelle. naked barry is so played out, he’s such an attention whore, look at him flashing those muscles he’s been working on at the gym, with that coquettish smile of his. bonus points for pics of the two hot pieces frolicking on the beach.

  • Darehead

    Here’s how some see our Barry-O, with a certain shadow on his upper lip:

  • S.Luggo

    Yet, this why we have the First Amendment and detention camps.

    [re=60257]itgetter[/re]: So bitter, so.

  • Sabre_Justice

    [re=60276]Larry McAwful[/re]: Dude, I wanna go to Hawaii right now!

  • Vanity Smurf

    This is what happens when you send a pool reporter to do a paparazzo’s job.

  • gurukalehuru

    [re=60261]wheelie[/re]: I don’t usually say this, but LOL.

  • eyesfriedopen

    See, that’s the problem with the point-and-click generation. No pride in their work. Old Buckley would have produced a much more respectable tin-type.

  • The Incomparable Tiny Valdez

    ALERT! ALERT! HuffPo has major Obamaporn up. Body surfing, up close, in focus and juicy!

  • sanantonerose

    Did the description really have to include the word “shirtless?” I mean, like, duh…we can tell.

  • Street Organizer

    [re=60271]Richard Gozinya[/re]: thanks, now i have 342,000 more flix to wallpaper the inside of my bedroom.

  • YellowScientist

    [re=60261]wheelie[/re]: GOLD!

  • NoWireHangers

    [re=60342]The Incomparable Tiny Valdez[/re]: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!


  • BoreExpert

    He’s got a farmer tan! *puffy heart*

  • PeteJayhawk v2.0

    Best photo caption ever?

    “Obama is vacationing in Hawaii.”

  • KevoTron

    [re=60230]regisgoat[/re]: No way. Body surfing is anything BUT elitist. In Hawaii only the really poor kids who can’t afford surfboards go body surfing. Also, that beach he is at (called Sandy Beach) is a fucking hardcore place to surf. We’re taking neck-breaking shore break. The day the Iraq war started I got tossed and nearly snapped my spine. So, I’m a little surprised Hopey even got in there because even on a small day the swell there can be nutz.

    Ho cuz! You like get pounded in some shore break?

  • lilblackcorvette

    [re=60224]mattbolt[/re]: eeewwwww

  • sarcasticusername

    Sir Hopey’s very own presidential surfboard. SO presumptuous.

  • Lionel Hutz Esq.

    [re=60276]Larry McAwful[/re]: Only for elites.

  • CivicHoliday

    [re=60397]NoWireHangers[/re]: Mmmmmmmm. Chocolate candy.