Wonkette
Maverick John McCain is at it again, sticking his finger in the eye of the Republican establishment by saying he wouldn’t rule out a pro-choice running mate. Two names came to mind — Tom Ridge and Michael Bloomberg — and in a recent interview with the Weekly Standard McCain strained to point out that Ridge was far more appealing because he only loved abortions, not both abortions and The Gays.
“I think it’s a fundamental tenet of our party to be pro-life but that does not mean we exclude people from our party that are pro-choice. We just have a–albeit strong–but just it’s a disagreement. And I think Ridge is a great example of that. Far moreso than Bloomberg, because Bloomberg is pro-gay rights, pro, you know, a number of other issues,” McCain said. In other words, a Vice President Bloomberg would administer compulsory gay abortions on the White House lawn in celebration of the Wiccan Summer Solstice. A Vice President Ridge, however, would discreetly perform his abortions in the White House bowling alley like a real man.
All this speculation adds up to one obvious conclusion: John McCain is wriggling mightily to get out of asking Mitt Romney to be his running mate, which is why it will be so hilarious when he finally has to cave.
McCain: Won’t Rule Out Pro-choice Running Mate [Weekly Standard]
“Abortions for some. Small American flags for others.”
Who are they kidding? McCain will be a good boy and let Pat Robertson and William Kristol pick his VP for him.
Well, you wouldn’t want someone who would want teh gays to have rights, then they might need abortions too (or something).
If he was a REAL conservative, he’d pick Jesus as his running mate.
Sorry, John. Only one pseudo-maverick allowed per ticket.
Micheal Bloomberg ♥ Obama. A more likely scenario for McCain is Lieberman… which would be like running a ticket of Hannibal & Atilla the Hun. The Republican base totally wants to blow Joe Lieberman, too because he’s all super pro-Israel, and we all know that Jesus will only return when the whole Middle East is in flames, something Lieberman is likely to push for. Sure Lieberman’s pro-life, but the GOP base is more than willing to overlook that fact if electing Lieberman means we get to kill more brown skinned people.
He looks like Sam the AMERICAN Eagle from The Muppets.
http://www.stlouisscrewbolt.com/sam%20the%20eagle.jpg
I thought he was in favor of abortions in cases of incest, rape or if the baby is gay.
Just color me unimpressed.
Is it me, or does WALNUTS! sound even more batshit crazy every time he opens his mouth?
Constitution Party (the most “mental” of all fundamentalists) Candi-dude Pastor Baldwin is getting a big “fundies are all mine!” hard on — even bigger since getting endorsed yesterday by Swift-Boatin’ gadfly Jerome R. Corsi.
If he’s going to look towards Pennsylvania for a running mate, I pray he selects Santorum.
“But it’s just a disagreement.” Can’t wait for that argument to hit the Bible Belt. This would be a great trainwreck but I’m still pro-Mittens. I want the white hard working people to have to choose between the darkie and the guy with the funny underpants.
This is all wrong. McCain should pick a Log Cabinboy gay as his running mate and proclaim: “Being gay is the surest way to make abortion unnecessary.”
Ooooh, I know the PERFECT VP choice for McCain: Michelle Bachmann
Please, please, please, let him pick her.
Canuckledragger: Yeah, but see, that makes SENSE…
Darehead: Yeah, Baldwin got Corsi’s endorsement, but only because Corsi ran for the top slot and was passed over by the Cons. He was hilarious on Larry King last night. Can’t wait to see the standup tag-team of Corsi and Keyes. Comedy is their clear forte. Except for the 100,000 citizens who take them seriously and won’t get the joke.
I’m just waiting for McCain to do an appearance on Martha Stewart and make some completely inappropriate recipe like, I don’t know….stir fry.
…at McCain/Ridge ticket wont peak peoples interest like a McCain/Mittens ticket. Most people would tune in just to see whether they rip each others throat out. As far as Bloomberg I don’t think a savvy politician/businessman would want anything to do with the steaming pile of elephant shit that is WALNUTS! campaign.
Canuckledragger: So you’re thinking Charlie Christ?
He should pick Scalia and Thomas as his vice president. I know that’s actually two people, but they’re sorta the Hall and Oates of the conservative movement — nobody knows what the second guy does, but they don’t function apart.
Doesn’t Walnuts have “a–albeit strong–but just it’s a disagreement” with himself on the abortion issue? Grandpa’s getting forgetful again…
And I think Ridge is a great example of that. Far moreso than Bloomberg, because Bloomberg is pro-gay rights, pro, you know, a number of other issues,”
I always wondered which was the greater abomination to the evangelicals: murdering innocent babies or two guys fucking. I want to thank Senator Grandpa for clearing that one up.
Of course, it’s possible that Gramps says he prefers Ridge to McCain simply because Ridge is from a state McCain might actually have some chance of winning* while Bloomberg is the mayor of the liberal enclave Jew York City. Maybe I’m just being cynical, though.
*10 points down in PA, so maybe not!
We should welcome a Ridge vs. Warner VP contest as such combined ugliness in the same debate room could change TV back to Radio.
I remember when the FBI shot up the Weaver family on Tom Ridge’s wife, Ruby.
I can’t wait for the incredibly awkward abortion debate between pro-choice Rep VP hopeful Ridge and pro-life Dem VP hopeful Kaine. “If you want my preferences made law, vote for, um, the other dude.”
Sara,
Thank you for exposing the baby killing, jewish/wiccan, ghey conspiracy plotting against the rose garden.
Canuckledragger: Except for the 100,000 citizens who take them seriously and won’t get the joke.
Supporters of Keyes or Baldwin (blessed-by-Corsi)/ = Paultards - (Sub-tards of Barr + RP write-ins + stay-homers)
Hopefully, they will all just decide to kill each other in Minneapolis. Could also be good comedy.
The trouble with taking away Juan’s cell phone is that the man can’t spell; he needs his phone to call Senior Spellchecker Marissa Higgonbottom back in Washington whenever White Tornado lands in a tight spelling spot.
Viz., the “recent interview with the Weekly Standard” in which, referring to Tommy Ridge as a potential Veep, “McCain strained to point out that Ridge was far more appealing because he only loved abortions, not both abortions and The Gays.”
He meant to say “appalling” but now the whole world thinks Juan is in gay love with Tommy, which he is not.
At least not today. Maybe tomorrow.
And Bloomberg likes computers too!
That makes him completely unfit to be PeePaw Maverick’s running ho.
The appeal of Tom Ridge to various Republicans is hard to understand. Bush was totally gay for him, made him DHS secretary, where he destroyed everything he touched. Sure, he looksand sounds like J Edgar Hoover Jr. But he’s quite clearly an idiot.
V572625694: Sure, he looks and sounds like J Edgar Hoover Jr. But he’s quite clearly an idiot.
As am I, because I can’t count the spaces after the HTML tags.
That sound you hear is a million fundies shitting their pants.
POLITICAL FUCKING SUICIDE. If you must bring up coat-hanger abortions, make sure you don’t advocate a “conversation” about it with your Republican base.
The end.
I can haz coler codeded campane?
Green: Low risk of Mooslim celebrity sightings
Blue: Guarded risk of teh foreigns vacationing in exotic lands
Yellow: Elevated risk of low tire psi
Orange: High risk of all becoming Georgians
Red: Severe risk of uppity negro in Whitehouse
Can’t see McCain picking Lieberman. His base already hates him. Picking a semi-dem mate (who’s also, don’t look now, a “Ja-Hooo!”) would have them in full revolt.
I think Mitt and plastic hair are too much of a sure thing. The party sees him as electable and would support having him in place for the next cycle.
As for Color-Code Tom, as long as he’s not personally doing the abortions, I could give a shit about that blob of goo…
Advocatus_Diaboli:
Damn you!
Come on, WALNUTS! Pick Beto Gonzales…..you know you want to.
Stock up on clear plastic sheets and duct tape.
And has anyone seen Ridge’s family? I think managers of all-you-can-eat buffets across the country have disaster drills based on the Ridges and Huckabees coming by at the same time.
No way. The fundies will stay home, doing rain chants, rather than vote on election day.
The VP choice is taking on a new urgency now that McCain slipped up and said he might do only one term. I think Mittens has the inside track since he looks good. That might be enough to make people overlook the fact that he’s a lying, pander assclown who will say anything to anyone at anytime in order to get votes.
Advocatus_Diaboli: “The Traffic Light of Death” as Michael Scheuer called it. Where is it now?
Republicans should be safe, rare, and legal.
Perhaps I’m giving McCain way too much credit, but this is surely just a political tactic. He’s never going to pick Ridge as it would further suppress turnout of his base, but by pretending to consider him he:
1. Mindfucks the Dems who have to make their VP pick first
2. Makes whoever he does end up picking look far more appealing to the abse, no matter how unfundie they are.
Not_So_Much: Fundies despise Mitt.
Advocatus_Diaboli: Dang, beat me to it. I was going to suggest Ridge is the perfect choice, because then he can color code dementia days for the American public. “It’s an orange day, folks - be aware that McCain will make public statements condemning tribal violence in Zaire and will accuse Putin of stealing apples from the White House kitchen”
This just means that all the real Republicans have turned him down already. Picking Mittens for the Veep slot is a lot like how i got my date to the prom. The ugly chick just sat there, biding her time, waiting for every other girl in the school to reject me. Needless to say, we were not elected King and Queen.
“because Bloomberg is pro-gay rights, pro, you know, a number of other issues,”
So there we have it- McCain is ANTI-gay rights. Good to know.
Gopherit v2.0: I think they’re the reason they have a four-hour time limit at most of those places.
How can you not love the Gays? You got to have the Gays. They are the creaming male topping to the moist, feminine chocolate cake that is abortion!
Anyway, this is all moot. McCain is going to pick Mitt. They just have one sticking point. Mitt is demanding that Cindy become his second wife.
Naked Bunny with a Whip: Very well said, sir. Very well said.
Advocatus_Diaboli: I think the chart should be added to Wonkette’s front page.
Servo: Wait a minute. How can Tom Ridge hate teh Gayez when he gave the best shopping list for a big gay orgy ever?
loquaciousmusic: bite your tongue you infidel you! My precious Muppet friends are not to be compared to that slimy prick! I served him a beer once when he was still Gov. and he is a disgusting idiot. (Ridge, not Sam.)
You know what Ridge’s biggest mistake with the color coded terror watch index level was? No blackwatch plaid!
Mittens is the perfect choice for the same reasons all the dipshits are so proud to unveil the newly named “Ronald Reagan Flapjack Museum”. And coming next week: The Ronald Reagan AIDS Hospice, you know for gays, blacks, and druggies. Mitt’s a hollow vessel, just like Preznit Numbnuts. He’s pretty to look at. people like the Gordon Gecko thing. he’s wildly inappropriate, e.g. Who let the dogs out?, but no more than every other dipshit who’s all to happy to vote against his own best interest. i, for one, welcome our new magic underwear overlords.
loquaciousmusic: Or that spent a lifetime playing catch with his face.