Wonkette
- The ceasefire in Georgia didn’t hold, so President Bush sent in American troops to deliver relief supplies. Meanwhile, Russian President Medvedev says the separatist regions of Abkhazia and South Ossetia should be free if they wanna. [New York Times, Wall Street Journal]
- Demographers predict that in the future, young Americans will all be Hispanic, while old Americans will be lily white. [Washington Post]
- Special News Shocker: Jesse Jackson probably won’t be speaking at this year’s Democratic National Convention. He’s spoken at every convention since 1984. [The Hill]
- Barack Obama and John McCain will both make their case to religious people at some forum on Saturday. [Reuters]
- John McCain is really running with the “We are all Georgians” line. And look who didn’t turn down his op ed! [Wall Street Journal]
- Obama and McCain are officially neck and neck in a poll. [Pew Research Center]
DAILY BRIEFING
We are all Georgians? Not on what’s left of McCain’s life.
You see, I’m not so stupid to feebly slap the 250lb ‘roid raging muscle head in the face with a lace glove in his backyard while expecting Army, who’s occupied right now, to save my dumb ass some 4000 miles right away.
I’ll say it: There has to be some connection between all of us being Georgians and TRUCK NUTZ.
Apparently, McCain has decided that his only hope of getting the presidency is if a nuclear holocaust makes most Obama voters ineligible to vote.
Not that this would work in Chicago, but it could help in what’s left of the swing states.
“The world has learned at great cost the price of allowing aggression against free nations to go unchecked.”
Jebus, Irony anyone?
Actually, we are all Hawaiians now. I’m glad Hopey is spending time with his family, but I also wish he would, you know, like, start his campaign. He’s given McCain a week-long shot on an open goal and, while it’s true that McCain has used it to say crazy shit, crazy shit is the glue that holds Republican World together. If Barry doesn’t fire up, he will be spending more time with his family after January 20, 2009 (instead of after he’s done something really awful, like you’re supposed to).
When the new intern passes the “no resistance-at-all to sexual harrassment” test, and the “able-to-snark-while-drunk” test, Wonkette should send her (and, for the good of all Wonketteers, it will be a trollop) to the new vacation spot, Georgia, to observe and interact with these idiots Walnuts says we love to death.
If that works, I’ll be glad to show her around the Twin Cities during the triple-header losers events.
‘kay?
Jesse Jackson Jr. probably punted his old man from the convention agenda personally.
ManchuCandidate: Thank you. I agree. It’s like me (at 5′2 and 110 pounds) picking a fight with Ray Lewis, then running to Brian Urlacher and asking him to protect me. Even Bush & Co. warned Georgians to sit their asses down and they foolishly decided to stand up. So they can stand alone.
Also, is it football season yet?
Quacker: Cindy McCain should be the new intern?
WASNUTS!: “We are all Gorgons”…
Well, I’m glad I talked up that Sarkozy peace plan the other day. What a success it turned out to be!
Once again, the European Union has stepped up bravely to the challenge of conflict near its borders and said, “Stop that now, seriously, or we will have to send over Peace Monitors, armed with peace, and they will not hesitate to cite you quite harshly in the subsequent report.”
WadISay: i think you ought to chill. get outside, enjoy the day. spend some time with you family too. It’s really not that heavy!
Topics least likely to come up in Saturday’s all-fundie Loya Jirga sponsored by TheCall — a group representing so-called “values voters” - formerly known as “religious right,” and including Mike Huckabee:
1. to both candidates: Would you like some fries with your Big Mac?
2. to McCain: Some of us here think you are the Anti-Christ. Can you please tell us what qualifications you have for this position?
3. to Obama: ditto
4. to McCain: Your wife’s hand looks injured. Did you receive too many spankings? Have you been a bad boy?
5. to Obama: Why do you hate America? Have you been getting enough spankings?
6. to Obama: We would like to offer you a special massage from Mike” Jones, our resident personal trainer and masseur. Could you step over here, please?
Topics most likely to come up: abortion, abortion, abortion, abortion,abortion, abortion, abortion, abortion,abortion, abortion, abortion, abortion,abortion, abortion, abortion, abortion,abortion, abortion, abortion, abortion,abortion, abortion, abortion, abortion…..
Boiled peanuts, anyone?
mccain ought to teach those uppity russians something. i hear you can get bomb-vests on the cheap now since the surge dramatically cut demand in iraq
Someone is going to ask Obama when did he stop being Muslim.
Ich bin ein Georgian?
John McCain is no Jack Kennedy!
Jesse Jackson should have a love child with Meghan McCain. It would be the kwisaderach and heal the breach in the Landsrad families.
Darehead: Yeah, they’re gonna be at a mega church about 50 miles south of L.A. I should have gotten tickets, although I don’t know if the thrill of seeing Barry in person would outweigh the frustration of being surrounded by thousands of mega-church-attendee-”values voters”-Christian-rock-aficionados.
Oh please one of you say “I don’t give a rat’s ass what your religion is, in a humanist society such as ours, everybody’s equal, and government should be entirely separate from religion.” (stuffs hands in pockets, kicks rock).
Of course the Ossetians should be free to choose! And the Georgians MUST protect their territorial integrity. Only ONE solution here:
I say send the Marines to Ossetia and Blackwater Consulting to Georgia and fight it out for these folks. In fairness, our Air Force should be able to bomb both sides freely.
RuperttheBear: Hillary, the Benijesurite witch would never allow it.
That reminds me, when Hillary’s name is put in nomination, will she be arriving at the convention center by car, or by broom?
Darehead: In case ya missed it, a good source on McCain-is-antiChrist:
http://www.thenation.com/blogs/dreyfuss/343356
NoWireHangers: Go as an undercover operative. Put pillows all over your body and cover in a loose-fitting whatever, and add scuffed up white shoes. Barry needs you.
Poor Jesse. Can’t a Nigger get a break?
That crap from McCain is the most arrogant, ignorant, hypocritical bullshit drivel I’ve had the pleasure to read in the past 24 hours.
4tehlulz: McCain knows a good thing when he has it. He has already announced that unlike Bush, he would have bombed Katrina when it attacked New Orleans, and that bombing is the best answer to the deficit, abortion and immigration.
Strangely enough, this is incredibly popular with Republicans.
SayItWithWookies: Please, if we said that, we would never get a job at Justice.
$500-$2000 per ticket to the Saddleback event? Which closeted conservative Christian does a gay have to blow to get in for free?
Now that Barack Obama is the nominee, there is no need for a token black speechmaker.
Your time is up, Jesse. You were not the next Martin Luther King, Jr. Sorry.
dearcatastrophecarlos: In the upper left hand corner of this page there’s a book called “You don’t know Me,” which is basically an encyclopedia of closeted conservatives and their kinks (the list is online). I think you could start there. Good luck.
Truth in reporting, Sara:
I really think “neck and neck” should be changed to “neck and wattle”.
WAKE UP PEOPLE!
Jamacane has it backwards — Georgians are all Merklns now. Suckassvili was brought to US on a State Dept fellowship, educated at Columbia Law and GW Law. Hired by Michael Mucasey’s law firm, taken to Georgia by a State Dept minion; later told by State to throw Shevardnadze under the bus. The mind boggles at the thought that Suckass independently decided to invade a 90% Russian ethnic area unless forced by the US, which has 2000 troops in Georgia and flew in 2000 more of their surging soldiers from Iraq. Kinda Sleezy Rice has now said that she discouraged such actions, so that confirms she required it.
McLame is lying through his only functioning orifice.
“We are all Georgians…” Isn’t that the same speech McCain gave when Gen. Sherman invaded Atlanta?